9 Reasons Why Your Ex Keeps Texting You After The Breakup

218 thoughts on “9 Reasons For Why An Ex Will Text You After A Breakup”

Jenny

October 15, 2019 at 5:29 pm

Hii!
2 month ago My boyfriend broke up with me and gave me reason that relationship doesn’t work anymore because we had major terrible fights.He felt anxiety,depression because of our fights.I agree what he said,because in relationship I realize that i was so annoying, frustating and we were both blame each other , reminding his past biggest mistakes, i know that is also my fault so after breakup i was beg him to back in relationship but he doesn’t want relationship or committed to me. I am still trying to get him back also i gave him space and after a week over he is started talking to me everyday but not all the time.He asking me questions such as having food or taking medicines or reaching home, even he gives me fast replies, but i’m totally thinking about him all the time, because this is not first time ,one year ago we had breakup beacuse of the misunderstanding. I was waiting for one an half year for him on that times i was dating with him but he doesn’t want relationship. after so many days i decided to move on but that time he back to me and want relationship with me i forgive him and trust him again. when relationship get started again he is better person and win my trust back but after few months he is changing and i get frusted about his behaviour because of this we had fights, so this is confusing me.I still love him and want Our Healthy relationship Back, what should i do?

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

October 15, 2019 at 8:34 pm

Hi Jenny you start with No Contact for 30 days and work on yourself then read and read and read as many articles as you can, watch Chris’ youtube channels and get yourself prepared for how to text your ex and know how to handle the situation emotionally controlled

alysia

October 13, 2019 at 4:50 pm

My long siatance realtioshoip bf broke up with me after 5yrs we met in a game and stuff. He was ending with me cuz he said its gonan be the same and stuff. we talked and he said he would think about taking me bakck whic ive been waiting for so i despaird cux itd too hard to deal with the pain cuz idk how to acr . Onces in a while his contacting me he even sad happy bday ion my fb which never happend before and nowe he conracted me a little over a motn agter asking me stuf and when he contacting me he ask some really personal stuff. And tell ask me if i got the moeny and say its nto costing alot and i dont haver any moeny cuz of a car repaiir i dont get alot of moeny each mth and i ased if he thought about me he never replayed. Each time i gto a hope of beig with him and i still got feeligns for him idk what he wants from em or his intersted in me which is really hard cuz its hard for me to move on. I enver got a clousre or anything. Idk what to do or he really wanna be with me cuz i really want to. So if someone could clearn it up and tell me whats going on ´.im ppretty introvated and stuff and when i was with him i was really happy and idk if i sohuld come there and whats onna happen. Each time i ask something i never get an answere it hard for me to move on and i keep comapire ohter ppl with him . Even if i gave him alot of money and stuff just being with him made he feel like i could do anything.
i really wanan be with him and im same timein aceard of him contacting me its been 2 rs i think sinch he left me each he cotnacting me get hope.
alana

October 13, 2019 at 3:18 pm

My long siatance realtioshoip bf broke up with me after 5yrs we met in a game and stuff. He was ending with me cuz he said its gonan be the same and stuff. we talked and he said he would think about taking me bakck whic ive been waiting for so i despaird cux itd too hard to deal with the pain cuz idk how to acr . Onces in a while his contacting me he even sad happy bday ion my fb which never happend before and nowe he conracted me a little over a motn agter asking me stuf and when he contacting me he ask some really personal stuff. And tell ask me if i got the moeny and say its nto costing alot and i dont haver any moeny cuz of a car repaiir i dont get alot of moeny each mth and i ased if he thought about me he never replayed. Each time i gto a hope of beig with him and i still got feeligns for him idk what he wants from em or his intersted in me which is really hard cuz its hard for me to move on. I enver got a clousre or anything. Idk what to do or he really wanna be with me cuz i really want to. So if someone could clearn it up and tell me whats going on ´.im ppretty introvated and stuff and when i was with him i was really happy and idk if i sohuld come there and whats onna happen. Each time i ask something i never get an answere it hard for me to move on and i keep comapire ohter ppl with him . Even if i gave him alot of money and stuff just being with him made he feel like i could do anything. idk what he sees me at and i idk what he sees me at now isk if im his friend his gf or just someone he wantd to talk with when his bored.its hard for me to move on or get together with him which i hope he always wants me or be with someone els czz i got feelingsr when im kinda talkign to someone but not happy with it
Katie

October 3, 2019 at 2:19 pm

We were together for 3 years. He told me recently he’s extremely depressed and stressed out. He’s got emotional while expressing this to me. He said he needed space or a break to fix issues he is having with himself and to clear his mind. We lived together and I told him that’s fine I can give you space, I left and now staying with my sister. Problem I’m having is he asked for space but keeps texting me. I’m trying to give him NC but he’ll text me about work or his problems for the day, he’ll ask what I’m up to or how am I. It’s only a few random texts, whenever he has time. I’m trying not to respond quickly or look super available. He told me he still loves me and cares about me he just needs some time to himself. Do I just ignore him completely? Or do I just casually reply and be short with him? I don’t get what he wants from me. Please help!

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

October 3, 2019 at 10:01 pm

Hi Katie, so he said he needs some time to himself, give it to him. When we do NC we need to stick to it for it to be effective. Read all the materials here and get yourself to how the program works, and during your 30 day NC you work on being the best version of yourself so he regrets letting you go

Kilah

September 30, 2019 at 4:39 pm

Hi my ex text me saying that he was sorry for being rude to me and I deserve someone nicer and who will treat me better and he thanked me for everything I did and said bye. What is he really trying to say is he really fine or is he in his feelings? I haven’t replied to him it’s been 2 weeks since I last saw / spoke to him.

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

October 1, 2019 at 8:08 pm

Hi Kilah, by the sounds of it he is feeling guilty for his actions, its great you’ve not replied and dont! This shows you’re on his mind and the fact you don’t reply and finish your No Contact is going to work wonders if you do this right! Make sure you read up on how to complete it properly and how to be Ungettable

Addy

August 19, 2019 at 8:38 pm

Hi Chris,

I was seeing this man for about a month, introduced me to his friends, told me before he even asked me out he had told his mom about me, and he took my friends out to dinner. He was very open and great at communicating. Then out of the blue, he said he is too busy, and with his mother getting out of prison soon he can’t give me his “all”. He said he sees a future for us when things settle down though. He was just “too busy.” However, I see him while attending social events and out at the bars, same as me, every weekend – so ‘busy’ right?
He saw me out Saturday night and texted me for the first time in a month: “Hey I hope you’re trip was incredible. I also hoped you enjoyed seeing your childhood best friend! Looks like the festival was awesome. You deserved that time.” Then 15 minutes later sent, “I’m sorry things have been weird between us, I don’t know what I’m supposed to say really, but I’ve wanted to ask how you’ve been doing. I really hope you’ve been well! I’m glad you’re having fun and enjoying life!! Be safe tonight!” I read them and haven’t responded.
Is he trying to reconnect, or was he just lonely and thinks I am over him – since I didn’t look in his direction once the entire night? Should I leave it be and not respond, or should I start a conversation? Any advice would be incredible! Thank you for your time!
Mj

July 14, 2019 at 7:53 pm

I went no contact for a year. I’ve awarded myself a medal . We had a yo yo relationship in the beginning, moved in together for a year or so. It ended over silliness and stress. He still kept texting but it stopped after 6 months , no action on his part but I think test texting. Another 6 months of quiet and now he is back . Full force. I responded after a while keeping it short and light. Now I’m getting his life updates every 3 to 4 days . If he wants me back he has to say it 100 percent , he has to act . I’ve realized I am not going to make it easy for him as he has to do the work to commit . He’s a man . So I sit back and watch. I leave days for a short response and sometimes none . I love how you place his wanting to get back at 8 and 9 . So many women think it’s 1 and 2 …… big mistake . Thanks for your blog , site info . I consider myself an honors student ‍ I will have it my way or the highway . If he’s not working hard to get you back he is not being the man he is supposed to . Men are hunters those who are not see you as a crutch and are missing that man factor essential to bringing out the woman in you . I don’t kw if you’d agree but I heard once that when dealing with a man everything you would do as a woman , reverse it . Do the opposite of what as a woman you are wired to think that a man really needs . Sounds like a game of chess but really I think it is 🙂
Tamiya

June 24, 2019 at 4:54 pm

Hi Chris,

So I dated a guy in only 2 weeks. He was insecure about… well his make-out skill, so he wanted to end our relationship and be just friends. I ended it officially.
I don’t want him back, but he recently checked up on me with messages like: “hey i’m back”, I just replied out of courtesy but then he left me on read. 1-2 days later, he was back with “well I see someone just unfriended me”, I answered “Please, only talk to me if you have anything important to say. Don’t bother me.” Then he said: “You know, women like you always make my heart sink.”
I didn’t reply, but I’m confused. Why must he sometimes check up on me and all that since I’ve made myself clear before leaving?
It wasn’t a serious relationship. I’m trying to move on, but his action keeps pulling me back.

Anything could help, thank you in advance.
Sar

June 9, 2019 at 8:19 pm

Hi Chris, my Ex text me a week after breaking up and one week into NC. He sent one text asking how I was – to which I didn’t reply to. Then another after saying he was sorry and he didn’t want to end this way. What do you think he means? We were together for over two years.
Karen

May 19, 2019 at 8:30 am

Hi Chris, any help you can offer me will be amazing. I broke up with my ex after long distance dating of 2 1/2 years. I am 48 he is 50. I instigated the break up due to what I felt was lack of commitment and where we were going. We live 2 hours driving apart. He has children, I have children. I love him and just wanted a little more. We had a great relationship and were great together. He was in the Navy for 28 years and used to long distance relationships, so for him the whole thing was easier. After 24 hours of the break up I realised I’d made the biggest mistake of my life and was devastated. I was an emotional wreck . I texted him and pleaded to talk , he responded very coldly and cut me dead. Next weekend we had tickets for a concert he bought me for my birthday, he has said he would like to go with me, even though he says he can’t be the person that I want in my life, but he still loves me and cares. What do I do ?
I want him back . I will wait and work through what ever it takes. He enhanced my life and made it the best it could be .
Any advice will be so grateful xxxx
Maria

May 12, 2019 at 8:19 pm

Hi Chris,

My ex and I met online and have been in a long distance relationship for a couple of months and have met up a few times when we were together. When I really needed him, and he knew that, he ghosted me for days (leaving me on read) until I got in contact with one of his friends. Only then, he angrily messaged me back telling me I shouldn’t have done it and broke things off with me, saying he didn’t care and he couldn’t deal with me or the issues in my life. After the whole ordeal, I basically wished him well and thanked him for a great couple of months before saying goodbye and thought that would be that. This was all done over text. It’s only been 2 days after the break up and he’s messaged me asking if I’m alright. I haven’t responded but I’m confused as to what he’s thinking and what his intentions are. I’d appreciate your thoughts and advice!

Maria x
Helen

May 2, 2019 at 11:19 pm

Can I please have a private email or does everything have to be posted. I have a very confusing situation in the no contact zone. I would like to know if I can get private advice.

Chris Seiter

May 3, 2019 at 5:37 pm

Hi Helen….probably best then to go to the bottom of any post and click on the “Contact” link and your message will go to my support email.

Noname

April 29, 2019 at 10:02 am

Me and my x bf we are break up a month ago. He leaves me without talked anything. He blocked me from social media. 6 days after he has blocked me I tried to text him but he say all done and he said that he really hates me and I’m very confused what I have done so he hates me. He leaves me but why he blames me. I was thinking maybe he lies to me but makes this situation like I made him angry because of my fault. 2 weeks after he blocked me I saw he unblock me but he didn’t text me anything and I pretend I didn’t know he unblocks me.
Last Friday this month He texts me and I reply to him but I said that I didn’t save his number and I asked him who are you, and why you text me but he answers me I’m X and nothing. I’m very confused he texts me but he didn’t want to tell anything so after that I say Ok Good Night. 7 minute after he also says goodnight to me he text me back and say we can talk sometime if you want. And I reply to him no I’m Ok and I don’t have something to say. And he reply to me again if you have something we can. So I was thinking why he texts me like that after he blocked for so long and text me like I can’t move on and want to text with him. I was very angry and tell him no reason to text you again. And after that he Gone until today. I just want to know why he texts me like that like push me to talk with him
Bruce

April 25, 2019 at 8:25 pm

My ex and I broke up 2 weeks ago and she posting her new boyfriend on social media but the problem is that she always text me day by day but not opening a topic and she also put her new relationship on social media so wat does that means I’m lost???
C'est la vie

April 17, 2019 at 6:26 pm

My bf of 5 yrs broke up with me out of the blue through text. He went away for college up state. Weird part was just when I was going on vacation he texted me that he wanted a break? He kept saying hurtful things like you disappoint me, you don’t have motivation, and criticizing me about everything. It seems like he had to break up with me right now because he either has a new gf or was in a process of starting a new relationship. After 5 yrs, I would have thought he would have more class to break up with me in person when he came home from school instead of texting it. After a few months after he broke up with me. He saw some pictures of me and texted me that I’m disrespectful for posting pictures of me hanging out with my friends. And how after 5 yrs of being together I would act like I don’t care? Yet, he’s the one who broke up with me over text? I responded to that text and he went psycho, telling me that he is over me and wants nothing to do with me. After 3 months of not hearing from him. He sends me a text saying that he knows I hate him, but he wanted to see how I was doing? I did not respond. I just felt it was a narcissistic act and I am over being hurt and feeling like I was the one who made him break up with me.
ADL

April 3, 2019 at 7:47 am

Hey Chris,

My ex and I were on an LDR for 3 months. We were crazy for each other, but like all couples we often had a few misunderstandings that made things a bit off at times. Despite that, we used to talk everyday and put a lot of effort into our relationship. We also made plans to see each other in the summer and bought airplane tickets.
Two to three weeks ago, he broke up with me because he felt like he wasn’t in the right physical and mental place in his life to be in an ldr nor any relationship for that matter, that he has no energy to fight for this and doesn’t want to hurt me more later so he prefers to do it now. The day after he came back and took it all back, apologized and said he would never leave again, but then a week later he broke up for good with the same reasons.
He’s in the navy, so he is quite busy and i do understand it in a way but i also don’t understand how can someone be so selfish for only be thinking for himself right now. I told him i wanted to try to remind us why we started in the first place and all he could say is that right now he does not want a relationship, and does not want to give me hope either that when things settle down he will. Told me he wants me to be happy and move on with my life, and if we meant to be, we will find our way back… in the meantime asked me to be his friend because he wants me to keep contact and be close to me since he values talking to me.
What should i do? We clearly want different things, and i am afraid if i stay as his friend that i am giving myself hope, that he will come back, and if he doesn’t? On the other hand, i also adore him and i want him in my life…
Any thoughts?
Rachel

March 8, 2019 at 6:44 pm

Hello Chris and EBR Team. First I want to thank you for so many resources to access about how to get back with exes. They really help me a lot. I appreciate it. 🙂

So here’s my problem: Me and my ex broke up a month ago but we kept talking and I felt that he wasn’t sure about the breakup. He said he had the curiosity of knowing what other people could offer. Which I think is GIGS and I didn’t take it well. I told him that is not a valid reason, that you want to see other people? What the hell? So I just started NC for a week. But he just texted me that he’s bothered by me being bothered by the reason he broke up with me. He sent me some websites to explain the reason, about how normal it is for some people to want to date other people and stuff like that. What does he mean and what should I do now?

Thank you so much for answering my questions!

Chris Seiter

March 8, 2019 at 10:41 pm

I agree Rachel….he seems selfishly engaged in wanting to play the field. I would stick with NC. His foolishness will eventually dawn on him despite his justifications for his actions. Pick up my Program “Pro” if you have not already so you are well equipped to deal with it all.

Ana Paula

February 26, 2019 at 7:41 am

My ex and I broke up about 2 weeks ago because we both went away to college and didnt have much time to see each other then. A few days ago, he replied to my story and told me not to drink, it was something he always used to tell me as a joke when we were together (I am not an alcoholic). Then, he pulled an inside joke and I ignored it. He told me he had to study and said goodbye in a very affectionate way, but without saying I love you or sending any hearts. I replied with a simple bye. What does this mean?

Chris Seiter

February 26, 2019 at 10:36 pm

Hi Anna..it seems like he is slowly trying to find a way to connect. Think baby steps. Best not to rush into anything, but explore whether this renewed communication can get some traction for what you both want.

Kyra

January 28, 2019 at 7:23 am

Hi. I broke up with my ex out of seeking validation and attention and I’ve done it numerous times. This time he’s had enough. So he turned the table on me. I finally admitted my mistakes. Then You know the drill, texting, fighting back and forth. Says he needs a break. Ok. I leave him alone. Then he texts me then we do the vicious cycle again and again. I get mad because I don’t hear what I want. So then I’ll ignore him. Whenever i ignore him he texts me again. Then the cycle again. Anyway, I was the last one to text him “good morning” he ignored me, a message before that I said “anyway text me when you’ve calmed down” he finally responded after three days and of course the day I started the no contact rule! He text “how are you doing” Do I respond? How should I respond?

Chris Seiter

January 28, 2019 at 11:36 pm

Hi Kyra! So I think NC will help you in many ways. Be sure to do it the way I teach it in my Program! And No, don’t respond to his casual inquiries about how you are doing.

Sad

January 7, 2019 at 3:29 pm

My ex broke up with me 2 days ago after a 4 year relationship. He says we are incompatible in the long term and will always make each other unhappy. I asked if we can have space and try again and he said he doesn’t think it’ll work. He still wants to be friends and comes over to see me and hugs/kisses me. He still texts me. Reading this, his texts are likely out of guilt. Can I get him back if he’s only texting me out of guilt? And do you think I should go no contact?

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218 thoughts on “9 Reasons For Why An Ex Will Text You After A Breakup”