9 Reasons Why Your Ex Keeps Texting You After The Breakup

218 thoughts on “9 Reasons For Why An Ex Will Text You After A Breakup”

Heartbroken

December 25, 2018 at 4:27 am

My ex and I broke up about 1.5 weeks ago and the break ups have happened so many times in the past. This time he told me he can’t stand me and doesn’t even like me. However, he has tried to contact me and I only responded to an important question in regards to his job. Then his daughter found out I was going to church so they came to church. I was shocked to see him and his kids to the point of me almost having a panic attack. I put my head down, didn’t look at him or say a word and walked away and left. I cried in the car because he was the man I have loved since I first met him 2.5 years ago. I later received a text message from him saying it was nice to see me today. I responded with thanks. Christmas Eve morning he sent me a message asking if I stayed at one of his friends houses. The reason I would stay at an ex friend of his house is because I took a job 1.5 hours away from my home and kids to be closer to him and to plan our future. Two of my children are in college and one is a freshman. I drive back home when I have her so no, I’m not abandoning her. But I have done so much for this ex of mine. I feel he has played mind games with me for so long. If there is something like my kids event or something he doesn’t want go with me he seems to end our relationship. Tell me to come get my shit. I have worked at this job up by him for about 8 months now and it has been a complete struggle as he has kicked me out st least 8 times. I don’t know many people in the area really so I have been driving back and forth 1.5 hours each way to work. I can not afford this so I’m planning on staying with an ex friend of his that is strictly friend based and always would be. He has let me stay at his house multiple times with my ex kicked me out of his home after s night out and I wasn’t able to drive all the way home. Anyways, my ex says he would love more than anything for us to work this out but it’s impossible. He continues with his negative excuses. After our conversation today, it has messed up my head and I can’t get him out of it. He obviously doesn’t want to be with me so he needs to stop contacting me. Why does he not stop? Should I start the no contact again. He is the type of guy to get super pissed if he is not responded to. I asked him to only contact me if he wants to work it out….what the heck is wrong with me…why would I want to be with someone that doesn’t even like me, blames me for everything, calls me names, kicks me out of his home and I guess I annoy him also. Ugh please, what should I do to clean my mind of him? I love him with all of my heart and have prayed daily for his return to me but obviously that’s not working.
Thank you
Heartbroken

Chris Seiter

December 25, 2018 at 11:42 pm

Hi there…there is a great deal of things going on here and many questions you have asked. I am limited here in what I can offer to you so my best advice is go pick up my epic long eBook, EBR PRO. Its 485 pages long and lays out blueprint of what you can do to better your chances.

Nee

December 24, 2018 at 8:53 am

Hi

I broke up recently.all this happen sudden.so much anger and fight.he said I don’t want any realtionship with you and get very angry but later we talk not much but little then one day he angry on very small thing with me it’s just my voice is audible during call that’s it and he gets angry with me you are not hearing my voice not getting it what can I do i said I will never call you.take care then nor he text me and I am not calling him.he used to anwer my call whenever I call him after our fight then again he used to get normal after few days but tell me what to do now.

Chris Seiter

December 24, 2018 at 10:29 pm

Hi Nee!

Breakups can happen fast and anger is often the trigger. Perhaps brief cooling offer period will help, the try to restart communications, followed by a casual meetup. If he continues to be fussy and uncooperative, then consider the No Contact Principle

Sass

December 12, 2018 at 9:07 pm

Hi!

My ex and I broke up spring of 2017 after dating for about 6 months. I completed the No Contact Rule and actually waited for over 60 days to reach back out. We got together that summer and nothing really came of it and I know he dated a couple of girls after we went our separate ways. Fast forward to the end of the summer 2018, when we started texting here and there and ended up going out a few times but they always ended up back at his place, which I know I shouldn’t have let happen. Well, I made the mistake of going over there one night without us going out beforehand and for the most part, ever since then, I only receive the booty call texts. Majority of the time, I tell him that I’m not available but there have been a couple of times that I’ve given in. It’s not that I don’t want to go over there because of course, I would enjoy the company too but I want more and truthfully, I would love to have that with him. I’ve looked into several different resources for advice but cannot seem to find anything that fits my situation. I would be ever so grateful for any and all advice of how I could possibly turn this around?!???

Chris Seiter

December 13, 2018 at 12:34 am

Hi Sass!

That’s a tough one isn’t it. You want more. He seems content with the status quo. Its not cycling in a healthy way for you as you want something real and mature, with a future. So perhaps take a big step back and give him more time and space. But briefly explain to him why you are pulling back so the cards on clearly on the table. Then going forward focus on being the best “you”, gaining whatever healing is necessary.

LAL

December 5, 2018 at 7:13 pm

My Exboyfriend is going through a tough time. I’m pretty sure he has depression. Due to this he reached out constantly saying he is so angry our relationship ended like it did and that he misses me so much. However when I try and help him through this tough time he lets me in and then closes off again by saying something like… I don’t think getting back together is a good idea. I’m not even bringing that stuff up either because I am focusing on myself right now!

Should I help him through this quarter life crisis or do I need to take a step back. I am worried if I take a step back everything will start getting easier for him and he’ll be able to forget me or find someone else to fill the void.

Helppppp!

Chris Seiter

December 6, 2018 at 3:05 am

Yes, I think pulling back is the right medicine. Give him a heads up that you are needing to focus on your recovery and being a better “you”. My comprehensive ebook, “The No Contact Rule Book” is filled with information that can help you!

amanda

November 13, 2018 at 12:13 pm

Hi, please help me. i’m not good with english. My ex broke up with me cause he lost his feelings for me. But he doesn’t want to lose our friendship and asked if i can still be by his side since he’s not used not having me around. I told him we should cut our communication and gone nc. but he still greets me good morning everyday. I think he’s just guilty and lonely since he’s a seaman. I still want him but i dont wanna lose myself completely. if i hold on i will be hurt that’s why he said to just let him go
Bae

October 14, 2018 at 4:06 am

It’s been almost 3 days since we broke up. We’ve been together for technically 3 years. He wanted to break up with me because he thought we aren’t compatible. He did the same thing before, but I was stubborn and kept messaging him saying “good night/morning” and reminded him to eat.

Right now, he was the one that sent me “good night” or “remember to eat!” messages. What should I do? Should I respond to him with thumb emoji or..?

Chris Seiter

October 14, 2018 at 9:40 pm

Hi Bae….I know things feel recent and raw. Tell him you are taking some time to reflect and heal from the breakup. Go pick up my eBook so your are armed with the best information on what to do to get back together and how you can stay together. My home page has lots of resources that should benefit you.
Chris Seiter

October 14, 2018 at 9:40 pm

Hi Bae….I know things feel recent and raw. Tell him you are taking some time to reflect and heal from the breakup. Go pick up my eBook so your are armed with the best information on what to do to get back together and how you can stay together. My home page has lots of resources that should benefit you.

yvette garza

September 19, 2018 at 5:44 pm

I and my ex-bf did not talk for a long time then he talk to me and said he wanted to get back it was out the blue I could not even say yes cuz we had not been talking. and now his being cold towards me for no reason. I’m so confused like why would you tell me you want to get back and then become cold aging

Chris Seiter

September 20, 2018 at 12:56 am

H Yvette!

So your ex is hot and cold. So don’t tolerate that. Employ NC in the way I describe in my program.

Savannah

September 10, 2018 at 12:05 pm

Hi. I just broke up a week ago. My ex and I, we had been together only for 3 months . The next day after broke up he texted me with prayers . I didn’t reply. The day after, he texted me some job vacancies advertisement but didn’t prolong the conversation.
After a week, he texted me again saying he wanted to know if I am getting to know someone for marriage, will I be doing some background check and how. Then he went missing again.
3 days later he texted me again and ask me whether my instant messenger account still available because he couldnt see it (I removed him from friend list). What does that mean and why is he acting like that

Chris Seiter

September 11, 2018 at 12:50 am

HI Savannah!

So it may be he is having second thoughts about whether he acted properly by breaking up with you because he sure i reaching out a lot.

Den

September 9, 2018 at 3:06 pm

My ex bf broke up with me a year ago. I think he has a gf now. But he still send me random texts like links to items which I would buy (because I was looking for the items when we were together). What does this mean?

Chris Seiter

September 9, 2018 at 6:43 pm

Hi Den!

So perhaps he does have another gf or maybe its casual…so don’t focus on that. His behavior suggest he is trying to make a connection. So practice what I call the “mirroring” tactic. Reciprocate and send him some links to things he is interested in and see if the contact from his side ramps up. And if your really want him back, tap into one of my books so you give yourself the best chance.

Admhel

August 26, 2018 at 5:37 am

Hello…sorry for my english im not good in english as well. Anyway, my problem is my ex broke me by text msg…after several weeks with no contact,i texted him saying i miss him so much no response at all,but when i say i want to see him.he texted me and asking when. What does it mean? We had already physical attachment

Chris Seiter

August 27, 2018 at 4:00 am

Hi Admhel…him breaking up with you by text is so classless. I thing it would be wise for you to implement no contact and make use of an ex recovery plan such as my program. Go visit my website and check out my ebooks, tools, resources, and all the rest to help you throughout this process.

Serenade

May 14, 2018 at 5:11 pm

I fell head over heels for him and initiated 2 dates that turned into sex. He never contacted me after that so, 2 weeks later, when I saw him at an event, I just treated him as regular friend. On Day 24 of NC, he messages me to ask “why I was acting cold at that event and if he did something wrong”. He adds up “he’s just seeking peace and no issues with whoever”. I guess he feels guilty? How can I handle the situation?
Joy

May 12, 2018 at 10:10 am

He broke up with me and I did no contact.He texts on day 44 of no contact. We’ve been texting quite a bit and have seen each other a few times just to talk and go for a drive. He has expressed desire to get back together but he is in a relationship. He expressed fear to let go of her if our relationship would be the same. I’ve taken many steps toward being “ungetatable” and feel I’ve made the necessary improvements we need to be healthy. I’m not sure how to proceed? I refuse to have sex even though he asks. He says it’s my fault I have to wait. If that is true, what is appropriate? Wait for their breakup? How much should I invest to get my fiancée back? Should I just be silent or continue to show him we will be ok? I love him I miss him I am still emotional.

Chris Seiter

May 12, 2018 at 11:44 pm

Well, I sure don’t like his comment to you that “its your fault and you have to wait”. He revealed his cards when he asked you for sex, then made that remark. I know you are hurt right now, but you should not have to wait on whether his relationship with this other girl breaks apart. My advice is to pull back some more and give yourself the opportunity to see what he is saying and doing.

ForkingKnife

April 26, 2018 at 5:30 pm

I initiated break up with my last boyfriend. And received some of the above subjects in his text messages. At first he was sad, then angry, basically told me to go to hell, he never wanted to see me/talk to me again, he blocked me on all social media and cursed me to friends.
So I stopped responding, blocked his phone number and complied with his request. Because he said the only way to get over me was to not have me in his life at all.
FFWD to a random text received 3 months later commemorating the anniversary of the first night we met, saying that he still had feelings, that i showed him what love was, even though he said he didn’t want to talk to me again, he felt that he couldn’t let the date pass without saying something.
I responded maybe a week later mirroring SOME of the sentiments but not saying that I was miserable without him and apologized for the tardy response.
Then he comes back with “I wasn’t expecting a response” CRAP! (Why text if you don’t want a reaction or response of SOME KIND?) Attention seeking, maybe?
Then a little bit after that I get a text announcing that he is switching phone carriers AND getting a new phone number to continue to help him in his quest to move on from me.
More attention seeking, hhhmmm?
And he still posts about our break up and relationship on social media (without using my name, thankfully).

I asked “why” about his behavior post-breakup so much… then I read this article and am beginning to understand where he is coming from mentally and emotionally.

Chris Seiter

April 26, 2018 at 9:14 pm

HI ForkingKnife…I absolutely love your moniker name! Yes…these are the behaviors of someone who is far from giving up on possible re-igniting the spark. He is in a passive way, feeling you out. Emotions cloud our minds during breakups and we often say the opposite of what we really want.

If you wish to explore this, go get my ebook, Ex Boyfriend Recovery Pro, and it will walk you through some of the steps you should consider taking in exploring if the connection is still worth of pursuing and how…using texting tactics and other strategies. Its a rather comprehensive Companion Guide, so sure it will help you. Are you interested in him? If so, time to get your plan in order!

Robbie

April 9, 2018 at 9:18 pm

Hello EBR,
Me and my ex gf have been nc since we left off on a conversation that was good 3 weeks ago after breaking up a month ago. And from there went NC and we discussed one bill that was left she texted me after her birthday yesterday saying we had to take care of it but I just need to return the merchandise to the store should I break NC and just let her know it’s all set good to go. and what steps should I take after this please

Chris Seiter

April 11, 2018 at 12:21 am

Hey there Robbie. Yeah, I think so. Next depends on how she might respond. You are looking for positivity.

M

March 22, 2018 at 9:57 am

What does it mean when he asks “How are you feeling”?

Background story: He’s my LDR bf, he cheated on me, when he admitted it to me he also said he had lost feelings for me and didn’t feel like committing anymore. That’s when I said “I need to think about this”, hung up on him, and went No Contact. He texted me just one day later.

EBR Team Member: Amor

March 28, 2018 at 5:20 pm

Hi M,

He’s probably just curious because of guilt..

Cassie

March 22, 2018 at 6:58 am

My ex got into a argument because he was upset my father wasn’t too fond of him because he technically ghosted and it wouldn’t be the first time.he automatically got defensive blamed it on his work schedule 2pm-12am and said that he couldn’t help that and that my dad was wrong but I have to have his back no matter what because he’s my father. Then has an outburst saying it’s just like when you stop talking to a girl or dating her and your parents suggested things to do to fix it but it doesn’t work and they have her back always instead of yours when they are your parents. I asks if that how he really felt he says it was just a scenario yet I know it was about me. He then proceeds to say my dad is wrong but it’s ok he’s 29 it’s not like he hasn’t dealt with this before. Seeing it’s going nowhere and that I’m freezing I asked if we could talk later he said we had nothing to talk about then proceeds to tell me to go inside because he knows I’m cold (I’m anemic) then says if I reach out to him he won’t ignore me. He tell me to go inside again and says goodnight jokingly like nothings wrong. A few days later I reach out it takes a day for him to reply only to say “ he was out of town”. I never replied. About a month later I sent him a snap of a meal being that we’re both foodies he literally viewed within 2 minutes never replied. A week later he snaps me at 3:15am. I just opened 2 days ago he sent me a snap of fod back caption “ now this is how you do it” I asked what it was he tells me I tell him I’m a better cook jokingly. He says he’s taste a fool meal from me I get a “ thumbs down sign” I tell him the only problem with that is that I only cook for people I like he replies “ that works for me “ i haven’t replied since he’s said nothing either. Confused by the interaction. Help but keep in mind I’ve gone no contact with him several times before the longest was a year.

EBR Team Member: Amor

March 28, 2018 at 5:17 pm

Hi Cassie,

You need to move on..

Shannon

March 21, 2018 at 9:48 pm

It’s Shannon again, I posted on March 14. I asked him what his intentions were with him texting me and he said: “to be honest I wanted to see if you wanted to get food or something at somepoint. I don’t want to get back together at this moment but I’m not opposed to it”. I responded saying it would be nice to catch up in person, but he never responded. That was on Monday. I’m not sure where to go from here, feeling mixed signals by him not responding.

EBR Team Member: Amor

March 27, 2018 at 12:44 pm

Hi Shannon,

How many times have you done nc and how long each? He’s trying to friendzone you

Shannon

March 14, 2018 at 8:13 pm

My ex broke up with me 3 months ago because he got promoted and we already only saw each other at night. He said he didn’t want our relationship to be like a booty call. Our relationship was great and I hung out with him and his friends almost every night. But we only dated for a couple months. We broke up in December and didn’t speak at all until my birthday in February, when he texted me happy birthday and we chatted. I asked him about the new job and he bragged a little. He asked me about school and was sweet and encouraging. A couple weeks later I texted him a video from a concert by our favorite DJ and we chatted for a little while. This morning he texted me about my tweet about an interview for grad school and now we are chatting again. Are we building rapport with each other? I don’t know his intentions. But all his messages are really caring and asking about my life and me his. Does he want me back? Should I try to keep the conversations going over the next few weeks. I didn’t want us to break up.

EBR Team Member: Amor

March 15, 2018 at 3:55 pm

If you continuosly talk, then you are trying to build rapport but if you only every now and then, then maybe he’s just bored and wanting someone to talk to.

Danielle

March 13, 2018 at 5:56 am

Hi. My ex and I have known each other for 6 years and have been dating for almost 2 years. He broke up with me last September and I did NC without even knowing that I was doing it. He came back crying to me that he wanted me back on day 29 of no contact. We worked things out, he went to therapy for his anger (this was our biggest issue before because he would say mean things when he was mad), and he changed a lot of other things to be with me again. I also have a son from a previous relationship and we’ve tried to be a family which also complicates things further. Fast forward to present day and we have now been broken up again for almost 2 weeks (I’m on day 12 of no contact.) We were in a rut with a lot of arguing this past month. He feels that I never acknowledged his good changes and have only pointed out the negative. He says I make him feel less and do not respect him. He blocked me on Facebook and on the phone after a week of arguments and said he was done and not to contact him. I called like a crazy person begging but then realized it does no good and initiated NC. After doing some reflection the last two weeks, he is right, I did make mistakes and I should not have gotten back together with him if I wasn’t willing to forgive the past. But I know we’ve both failed each other and our communication needs lots of work. He texted me 3 days ago after unblocking me and I did not respond. He texted me again today saying “Hi Danielle, just wanna say that I’m sorry for everything you feel I couldn’t provide or that I didn’t live up to. I really did try and I did want forever with you bc I love how genuine you are. Idk why it was so difficult. I hope you don’t hate me and I hope one day you and Liam find that man that I couldn’t be. I swear to god that I truly want you to find your love. You deserve it. I would of rather had called you but I don’t think you’d answer. I’m Sorry. Truly. God bless you and goodbye”

Do I continue nc to day 30? I don’t like hurting him but I’m confused at what to do. I know he is the one feeling vulnerable now. It’s only day 12 and I guess I worry I’m doing more harm than good, but I’m also hurt that this is the second time he’s broken up with me and blocked me, only to unblock me and want me back. Thank you in advance

EBR Team Member: Amor

March 15, 2018 at 1:26 pm

Hi Danielle,

Yes, continue nc.. You can only break it if he said he wants to get back together.

Danielle

March 13, 2018 at 5:55 am

Hi. My ex and I have known each other for 6 years and have been dating for almost 2 years. He broke up with me last September and I did NC without even knowing that I was doing it. He came back crying to me that he wanted me back on day 29 of no contact. We worked things out, he went to therapy for his anger (this was our biggest issue before because he would say mean things when he was mad), and he changed a lot of other things to be with me again. I also have a son from a previous relationship and we’ve tried to be a family which also complicates things further. Fast forward to present day and we have now been broken up again for almost 2 weeks (I’m on day 12 of no contact.) We were in a rut with a lot of arguing this past month. He feels that I never acknowledged his good changes and have only pointed out the negative. He says I make him feel less and do not respect him. He blocked me on Facebook and on the phone after a week of arguments and said he was done and not to contact him. I called like a crazy person begging but then realized it does no good and initiated NC. After doing some reflection the last two weeks, he is right, I was negative and I should not have gotten back together with him if I wasn’t willing to forgive the past. But I know we’ve both failed each other and our communication needs lots of work. He still gets mad and shuts me out but not to the extent that he used to. He texted me 3 days ago after unblocking me and I did not respond. He texted me again today saying “Hi Danielle, just wanna say that I’m sorry for everything you feel I couldn’t provide or that I didn’t live up to. I really did try and I did want forever with you bc I love how genuine you are. Idk why it was so difficult. I hope you don’t hate me and I hope one day you and your son find that man that I couldn’t be. I swear to god that I truly want you to find your love. You deserve it. I would of rather had called you but I don’t think you’d answer. I’m Sorry. Truly. God bless you and goodbye”

Do I continue nc to day 30? I don’t like hurting him but I’m confused at what to do. I know he is the one feeling vulnerable now. It’s only day 12 and I guess I worry I’m doing more harm than good, but I’m also hurt that this is the second time he’s broken up with me and blocked me, only to unblock me and want me back again. Thank you in advance

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218 thoughts on “9 Reasons For Why An Ex Will Text You After A Breakup”