9 Reasons Why Your Ex Keeps Texting You After The Breakup

218 thoughts on “9 Reasons For Why An Ex Will Text You After A Breakup”

Patricia

March 2, 2018 at 11:35 pm

My ex broke up with me (I guess we broke up) 3 weeks ago when we got in a fight over the phone. He said to leave him alone and hung up on me. He was crying. So I sent a mean text then I left him alone. Never contacted each other since. I never thought he wouldn’t contact me but he hasn’t. It is so unlike either of us not to reach out. We had been arguing for the past week but were working through our differences. Argument was about poor communication. Other than that, we are great together and I know he still loves me. He doesn’t like arguments cause he and his ex wife argued all the time so he said he will never be in a relationship with arguing. We didn’t always argue though, and things were really good when we didn’t. I know when he said to leave him alone he was talking about right then because he was having family and job problems and was just stressed to the max. I think he expected me to contact him and I expected him to contact me. I know I’m supposed to wait for him to contact me, especially since he hung up on me, but I don’t think he will since he hasn’t yet and probably thinks I don’t care about him anymore. Now it has been a little over 3 weeks and I’m wondering if I should text or email him. It’s killing me not talking to him and leaving things like this. Plus, I have a lot of things at his house and some of his stuff at mine. Any advice would be much appreciated. My heart hurts.

EBR Team Member: Amor

March 6, 2018 at 10:28 pm

Hi Patricia,

Yeah, talk to him about what your relationship status right now is.

ma

March 2, 2018 at 9:01 pm

Hi,
I was in a relationship for nearly 3 years, we were living together for nearly 2 years, he broke up with me out of the blue, we never ever fight before, our relationship was full of plans and we have a lot in common.
After the break up we were living together but for nearly 3 weeks the environment was very bad but after one month he started it to treat me as the same way when we were in a relationship (shopping together, pick me up in my job, kiss me) we just slept in different bedrooms, he confused me a lot because from his mouth I just heard from him I don’t want anymore.
I found a place to move out because that situation was killing me, I went to a friend’s house for nearly 2 months and I decided to come back to find a permanent place to live, it took me a while to find a good place.
When I came back our lives were the same routine but that time we were sharing the same bedroom.
I found a permanent place to live and I just move out from his house.
He asked if we can be friends and he still sending a message every day (asking how I am keeping).
We are on good terms now but I don’t know if he just wants to befriend or if he wants to back together.
I tried the no contact with him before it does not work, he just created a profile on a relationship website.
The whole situation is have been more than 6 months and I do not what I suppose to do it?
thanks

EBR Team Member: Amor

March 6, 2018 at 10:25 pm

Hi Ma,

How did you do nc and what did you mean by it not working? Did you have sex with him when you went back to live with him?

Emma

March 2, 2018 at 9:01 am

Hey, I need your advice. My ex broke up with me 3 weeks ago (he wasn’t ready for the next step) and wants to talk to me even though I said I needed space (I’ve been doing NCR for about 2 weeks). I’m worried that it’s for him to get closure or clear his conscience. I’m also worried that if he sees me doing well he will think that our break up was a good decision and will stick to that. I’m 30. We were together for almost 2.5 years. Thanks.

EBR Team Member: Amor

March 5, 2018 at 5:26 pm

Hi Emma,

He wouldn’t have broken up with you if he didn’t think it was a good option.
Chasing him or being friendly right after it doesn’t put you in a good position.. It makes you look like it’s ok for him to hurt you, disregard your hurt and not let you heal.. If he wants closure, then he will say it even if you don’t reply or message him..

Xolisania

March 1, 2018 at 5:04 pm

hi,
my ex boyfriend dumped me without a reason just before paying for my bride price (lobola). i tried asking why and i never got a reply. this happened some time last year 2017. no contact no nothing. he just texted hi, and honestly i dont know what to do. i dont know what he wants now after about 4months without communication or an apology. what should i do..please help

EBR Team Member: Amor

March 5, 2018 at 12:56 pm

Hi Xolisania
Maybe because he wasn’t ready to get married at that time.. And now, he might be missing you but that doesn’t mean he wants to get back with you.. How long were you together?

Alicia

February 20, 2018 at 12:02 pm

My ex broke up with me two weeks ago because he decided he wants children. We always discussed not having children because I have a 14 and 9 year old. I told him I’d consider another child with the right person but he said he would feel guilty if I did that since my children are older. So, I implemented the no contact. He texted me last night “I was thinking of you today. Goodnight!” He doesn’t drink so I know it wasn’t a drunk text. I haven’t texted him back. I don’t know what to say to that. I hope we can work things out but scared of being vulnerable to him again. Help!

EBR Team Member: Amor

February 23, 2018 at 5:52 pm

Hi Alicia,
I’m sorry. I’m not a parent yet so, please bear with me that I don’t understand why he would feel guilty because of your older children? What’s wrong with having another child if you have older children from your previous relationship? Unless you plan to abandon them to have a new family with him, (which I don’t think you’re planning to do) then I do understand why he feels guilty.

Sarah

February 20, 2018 at 1:14 am

I have just got a text from ex bf after 30 days no contact. This is the text: “We had passion and attraction and I killed it. I’m sorry I had to look back. It’s a chapter I can now close. Cold comfort for what we had. Guess u have to look forward…..i don’t want u to. I used to pinch myself almost, can’t reverse time I guess.” I’m not sure to reply or not. He cheated on me with an ex! Thoughts please

EBR Team Member: Amor

February 21, 2018 at 12:21 pm

Hi Sarah,
Don’t reply to it.. Wait a few more days before initiating contact with a different topic.

Naomi

February 17, 2018 at 5:14 am

Hey, I know this sounds crazy, but I was dumped on Valentine’s Day. This isn’t the first time my ex dumped me, but it was way worse this time than it was last time. Ever since the 14th, he’s been contacting me, but I haven’t really been responding because I’m too upset to respond. And not only that, but after her broke up with me he kept asking to hug me and be affectionate, etc. I’m so confused, is there something wrong with me? 🙁

EBR Team Member: Amor

February 19, 2018 at 4:16 pm

Hi Naomi,

Why did he break up with you/

Brandy

February 13, 2018 at 3:01 am

My ex boyfriend and I were seeing eachother for about 4 1/2 months. His ex wife who shares a son with was becoming a problem for me. She refused to meet me and would make excuses to keep contacting him about her personal matters and he kept obliging because she would threaten court when she was angry and he said it was just easier to try and remain friends with her. Well last week he accidentally pocket dialed her and she overheard a convo we were having about her. She ended up freaking out and when she came to pick up their son that night he ended up sitting in her car with her and the son consoling her because she was hysterically sobbing and threatening her own life and saying she doesn’t want me around her son because “we were making fun of her and she thought he would always have her back no matter what.” For the record were NOT making fun of her. He was out there for over 30 mins while I was cooking and it definitely annoyed me as she also blew up his phone via text after leaving. I expressed my frustration but kept my cool letting him know she is obviously feeling threatened by us and that I believe she wants him back. He assured me no way that’s not the case. Two days later she continues to cause interference. I ended up packing the few things I had there while he was at work and leaving while being distant towards him. I stayed at my place that night and tossed and turned all night before making a sudden emotional decision to end things via text while he slept. My hope was that he would reassure me I’m his priority and not want the relationship to end. It backfired bigtime. He ended saying I left and can never come back and also that his ex wife just confessed she thinks the divorce two years ago was a mistake and he wants to “investigate” that. I pleaded and said I made a huge mistake and didn’t want to split and to please move forward with me. He said absolutely not. Here’s the thing, I know for a fact that he was crazy about me. We were talking about a future together and he told me just last week that he was falling head over heels for me. His ex wife was horrible to him at the end of their marriage and after they tried to reconcile long ago. He was sending angry hurtful texts for a couple days after we split which then turned into “I want to be friends and I wish you the best!” Now he’s sending things like “you deleted me off fb??” And “was that heart imoji for me or him? I’m feeling self conscious right now.” He says “him” because I told him I might also try to look into feelings an ex has for me if we can’t be together like he is doing with his ex wife. I want him back what does this all mean??

EBR Team Member: Amor

February 17, 2018 at 5:43 pm

Hi Brandy,

If you’re going to try, he has to think you’ve really had enough. Don’t play back and forth with him.. Send him a clean slate message that being friends is not working for you and then start nc

JoJo

February 2, 2018 at 6:25 am

Hey
My bf and I broke up back in September! But lately he has been complimenting on my pictures and last week he even wished me happy birthday!! All this was unexpected cause he never was that type that will even show emotions, and I really believe he has other women around!?! But not 100% sure
Is he doing it cause he is bored?? He is the type that never put effort into anything in the past!! What do u think!!?! I’m so confused!!

EBR Team Member: Amor

February 7, 2018 at 12:10 pm

Hi Jojo,

if he’s that kind of a person, then yeah, he’s probably doing it because he’s bored and if he’s dating a lot of women, maybe he thinks it’s ok to start flirting with you now, just because he likes flirting, since it’s been months since you broke up.

Carrie

January 14, 2018 at 8:18 pm

Hi,

I have been reading your articles and I would like some advice. My ex and I split about a week ago and it’s turned really nasty.

We went on holiday over Christmas and I was really ill before we went, I asked him to take someone else as my health was not great and he said if I didn’t go it would be over as I would ruin his holiday. I dragged myself to go and I was quite ill, sleeping a lot, always tired and he would make comments about I’m a beach whale etc. One morning we were laying in bed together cuddling and he jumped out of bed and said he had an amazing dream about the hotel host down stairs. I saw red at this comment (not the first time he made comments about other woman or my weight and looks) and I said some horrible things, told him he was boring and my ex use to do that to me, and I didn’t trust him. All out of anger. Anyway when we came back he dumped me by text saying he was so angry with me and no one has ever treated him like that. I apologised because I felt so bad I hurt his feelings and he said he’s done with me, leave me alone and he’s walking away. Fine I can’t force someone to be with me but I wanted the opportunity to explain why I snapped and to apologise. He asked for his key back which I never refused and he said don’t bother he changed his locks making me out to be a physco to everyone. Then he said he would rerun all his gifts including an expensive item I got him which I accepted the offer and then he said I was petty, I have caused all this hurt and tough I’m getting nothing from him. I know he is with someone else and he is ignoring all my calls now as he said he hasn’t got something of mine and know he has. I think because I am a selfless person, who done a lot for him, I’m more hurt what he’s making me out to be. He would put me down a lot and some comments cut deep but never said anything. The one time I snapped I’m treated like this. I just wanted my chance to explain be he never gave me that. Does he truly hate me for what I did?

EBR Team Member: Amor

January 15, 2018 at 1:01 pm

HI Carrie,
check this one:
Should You Get An Emotionally Abusive Ex Back?

Jen

January 13, 2018 at 1:18 pm

My bf and I broke up a little under a week ago. We met when we both lived in the same city. Shortly after meeting he was offered a job in another state. We already determined we liked each other so we continued seeing one another even though we knew he’d be leaving. Ultimately we decided to enter into a relationship before he moved. We get along great and hardly ever argue. Fast forward 6 months into his new job, which is very stressful and not what he anticipated. He works 6 nights a week, overnight, for 12-14 hour shifts. It’s a great opportunity because it puts him in the right place to achieve his career goals, but at the expense of our communication and time together. We tried to see each other consistently, but it simply wasn’t doable with his new job and my finances. The last time we saw each other, it was only for 1 day after 3 months because it was the only time he could take off. He also has a daughter in another state and had to spend the only other day he had off to see her. I was definitely happy to see him, but obviously disappointed it was only for one day after months of not seeing one another. Two days after he left, he called me and told me that he could tell I was unhappy with the distance and the uncertainty. When he originally moved, the idea was he’d only be gone for 1 year. He didn’t know that for certain but that was the expectation. He no longer knows how long he’ll have to stay in his current role before he has the ability to come back to the state we met in, which is ultimately where he wants to be. He says he loves me and that he wants to be with me, but that he doesn’t want to keep getting my hopes up that we’ll be together soon when he really doesn’t know. He says it’s unfair for me to put that part of my life on hold for him and that I deserve to be happy. He said that if it supposed to work out between us in the future when he’s accommplished what he needs to in order to secure a future for his daughter and himself, then it will. I was devastated and caught off guard because I just figured we’d tough it out as a team. I told him I thought we could work through it but he told me he was concerned that over time I’d end up resenting him. After a lot of tears and talking we decided to focus on just the friendship aspect of our relationship. I tried to create some distance by not contacting him, in hopes that I could heal and maybe that he’d miss what we have. After a few days of him contacting me and me not replying he said that he didn’t want to bother me and that he’d refrain from contacting me until he could arrange to pickup his things from my place. I don’t want to lose hi. I also don’t want to dive right into a friendship because I’m worried that there won’t be a clear distinction and that my feelings will end up being more hurt if he moves on. I told him he’s not bothering me and that I need time to process everything that’s happened. He said he understands. What should I do now? Should I try using no contact? Will it work in this particular situation? We’re both mature adults that love each other and want to be together (based on what he’s told me) but the timing just isn’t right, now. Any help you can offer would be great.

EBR Team Member: Amor

January 15, 2018 at 11:53 am

Hi Jen,

Yes, do the nc rule.. It’s not a guarantee to work in any situation, it just helps increase your chances of getting him back.

Sarah

January 12, 2018 at 8:49 am

Hi,
We broke up 3 weeks back. It’s very difficult to maintain the no contact rule as I see him everywhere and he tries to start a conversation with me and we have same set of friends. I try to avoid him as much as possible. I have to see him everywhere. He comes to me and starts asking me about classes and where I’m going.
What does this mean?
What should I do?

EBR Team Member: Amor

January 14, 2018 at 10:16 pm

Hi Sarah,

you can approach it like this one:
EBR 009: The No Contact Rule If You Work With Your Ex

Jess

January 5, 2018 at 9:12 pm

So I need a bit of advice. Boyfriend broke up with me over 2 weeks ago… I left it 13 days then broke the no contact to ask about giving his stuff back and getting mine back. I wasn’t expecting him to respond. So I thought right, I’ll start the no contact again. But he messaged me saying he’s alright, he’s not changed his number just not been on his phone and will see when he’s next free. He also said hope I had a good Xmas and New Years too. Didn’t ask me how I was though like I did him! Now if he gets in touch about being free do I stick to the no contact for 30 days again and just ignore him?? I’ve put myself in a pickle! Help!

EBR Team Member: Amor

January 8, 2018 at 6:34 pm

Hi Jess,
It would be better to just get the exchanging of items done asap, and then restart nc..

Natalie

January 5, 2018 at 6:16 am

Hi EBR

A background of why my ex broke up with me: he said he was had no emotional capacity or time to be in a relationship as he was occupied with work and family matters/problems.

I managed to complete 30 days of no contact. After the NC period, I contacted him and his responses have been generally positive. However it seems like he might be treating me more like a friend and replying in a friendly manner. How do I transition from texting to asking him out? After all, if he was not lying about the reason for the breakup, he did not have time for me when we were together. So why would he meet me now that we have broken up? Help!!

Thanks!

EBR Team Member: Amor

January 7, 2018 at 1:48 am

Hi Natalie,

Transition to calls first before meet ups. How long have you been building rapport, how active are you in improving yourself and in posting in social media?

V

January 5, 2018 at 1:41 am

I did the NCR for a little over a month and it worked! We’ve been texting again for two days now and he even told me on Day 1 that he missed me. I told him I missed him too because I didn’t want to lie and then he said he really thought that I was never gonna talk to him again and that he’d remain blocked forever. I told him it’s better if we don’t talk about what happened the last time, at least for now and he agreed. Now I can tell he’s being No. 9 because he’s been sending really sweet messages and I’m slightly returning the sweetness back although I’m not so sure about that… I’m just being nice and positive whenever we talk. Today is Day 3 after NCR and I guess I won’t talk him for a day… Honestly, I need help with the situation (him being sweet and all).

EBR Team Member: Amor

January 7, 2018 at 1:36 am

Hi V,

That’s a good thing,.just take it slow..Be cheeky or change the topic.

Briana

January 1, 2018 at 5:22 pm

My ex and I dated for a little over two years. We broke up a little over a month ago. Our last two months together weren’t the best, and he cheated on me, which caused trust issues. He finally said he didn’t love me anymore and so we split ways. I was okay with everything because of how he had been treating me but I still wanted to be friends. I didn’t realize there was a thing called the “No Contact” rule so we snapped each other daily until I finally blocked him because he wasn’t putting in any effort to be friends. I texted me a day later asking why I blocked him, and so I explained why. He said it was hard for him to be friends and he felt weird. Since then we texted periodically until we finally met face to face again because he had to get the rest of his stuff from “our” apartment. He cried and wanted to hug me. And then we talked for about two hours and caught up with another. He said it was hard to be friends because he felt like he was still hurting me, and he didn’t believe me when I said I was okay. He said seeing me be okay would make things easier to be friends. We texted the rest of that night. He then sent me texts the rest of the week–just short texts, but it was something. Stuff like “drive safe in your new car.” Or sending me a photo from Facebook that dealt with my favorite show. He’s normally the one that reaches out first, because I don’t want to “bug him.” So we go days without talking and then a random text from him pops up, like one of my movies was still in his Xbox, so he sent me a photo. I’ve offered to hang out with him but he turns me down. I’m not quite sure what to think of his behavior. Well, I do…but it’s hard to accept. I know he feels bad for hurting me and has even said he pitied me which is why he cried when we saw each other again, and why he feels obligated to be my friend. And I know he doesn’t love me anymore and doesn’t want to be with me, because he’s told me about making out with other girls, and I’ve seen stuff about him “falling” for a girl on social media. And he doesn’t check up on my social media. But yeah, I just recently found these articles and I wish I would have known about the NC rule because I think that’s what I needed after we broke up. I think it would have made my ex really think about us but instead I was always still there, trying to be friends. This is my first heartbreak, and man, does it suck.
Cara

December 24, 2017 at 1:29 am

We were together for a year and 2 months, he broke up with me, said I was awful and crazy after making me feel really insecure and being a total douche. He was rude and stopped talking to me completely a month after the breakup. That was 5 months ago, I have since started dating again and am very happy. I wanted us to stay friends but he blocked me and said we were completely done. Yesterday he texted me at 2 am saying ‘i dont know what to say i just want to hear from you, do you want to go get coffee sometime?’ I don’t know what he could want from me now. Everybody told me I looked amazing and as if I came back to life after we broke up even though I was really sad about it and cried for a month. All of our friends have stopped hanging out with him. I’m just so tired of him playing me but I would like to be civil with him, maybe even friends?

EBR Team Member: Amor

December 26, 2017 at 7:10 pm

Why?

Geneva

December 21, 2017 at 8:54 pm

If a man broke up with me by text – or any way actually – I’d never speak to him again. I’ve done it! He doesn’t get the privilege of knowing what’s going on in my life or the satisfaction of knowing he hurt me.
HOON

December 18, 2017 at 8:48 am

Hi.. am Hoon

We broked up one and half years back. I keep no contact bt he dont reply. So i txt him or call him. He talk with me for hours late in the night.. then again talking for 5-6 days he again says me- i dont want to talk with you n dont want to fall with you again n dont txte… again months pass.. again i used to contact as i know he nver calls me… bt sometimes he asks me about my health n how m doing n again we talk for days hours.. again talking for days he dont want… what is all these.. m confused.. whay should i do

EBR Team Member: Amor

December 20, 2017 at 7:20 pm

Hi Hoon,

why did you break up? and if you contacted him during no contact, that means it’s not a no contact period.

Star

December 18, 2017 at 4:26 am

He called twice and said he wanted to hear my voice and said he missed me. He wants to see me.

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218 thoughts on “9 Reasons For Why An Ex Will Text You After A Breakup”