Today we’re going to talk about the best way to tell a guy that you like him without getting rejected.

The trap most women fall into when they want to tell a guy they like him is they play too hard to get.

Here’s how it typically goes,

So, there is a decision to be made:

• Do something about it (Play hard to get)
• Don’t do something about it (Take action)

Let’s look at those individuals who don’t take action.

This Is What Happens If You Don’t Take Action

If you don’t take action on telling a guy you like him expect the following things to happen,

• You’ll keep your feelings to yourself and pine away forever in secret. Similar to how Snape pined away in secret forever for Lily Potter.
• Move on. This is straightforward. You say nothing, and, even if your family and friends know, you make them promise to never say anything about your former love. You ultimately find someone that you can love or communicate your love to, and you build a life partnership with that person.

Now, I don’t know about you but something tells me these scenarios don’t seem very attractive for you.

Which leaves you with one option.

This Is What Can Happen If You Take Action

In a dream world, you could approach your crush, declare your love for them, and receive an honest appraisal of their feelings in return.

But, unfortunately, things are never that simple in real life. So, what does this leave you with? Simply put you can do something about it.

You can take actions on your own, enlist the help of others, or do both. Communicating that you do like someone can be done in one of three ways:

1. Direct: is that you communicate your attraction directly to your crush
2. Indirect: is that you incorporate others and/or signaling into communicating attraction to your crush.
3. Combination: Mixing the best of both words from direct and indirect.

But before we really dive in on these three essential tenets we need to talk about timing.

The Importance Of Timing When It Comes To Sharing Your Feelings With A Guy

Regardless of what action you decide to take, you have to make decisions regarding timing.

Timing plays a significant role in communicating whether you like someone.

What we see often in popular culture, especially in the United States, Canada, and parts of Western Europe and Russia, is the idea of just telling someone immediately or fairly immediately and directly that you like them. Even when preparing for this discussion, I immediately thought,

“Duh, just tell the person you like him, her, or them. What do you mean how?”

Then, I realized that I have never told someone that I liked him shortly after I realized that I was attracted to them.

So, that straightforward answer isn’t the answer that works in real life.

That’s where timing comes in: it’s better to lay a foundation for attraction first.

Whether you communicate attraction directly, ask your friends to smooth the path or get involved somehow, or do both, you should put some time into laying the groundwork.

• How much time passes between you realizing that you like someone and, ultimately, making the person aware that you like him, her, or them?
• Do you just go for it?
• Do you enlist help from others?
• Do you enlist help from others and also do something yourself?
• What’s the timing of all the actions that you want to take?

The Correct Direct Approach To Telling A Guy You Like Him

Research at different business schools say that a person is more likely to say yes to something if you have experiences in which they first say yes, feel understood, and feel excited and interesting.

What Are Your Chances of Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back?

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Technically this is an extension of the Benjamin Franklin Effect.

Benjamin Franklin Effect: Contrary to popular belief doing a favor for someone makes you more like to do another favor for you as opposed to the other way around.

Depending on how your crush interacts with you, you can determine whether your crush reciprocates your feelings.

How To Know If Your Crush Reciprocates Your Feelings

1. Maintaining eye contact.

According to a study by Harvard psychologist Zick Rubin, couples who are really in love look at each other while they were talking 75 percent of the time, so try to resist the urge to nervously look away.

• It’s a good sign if: your crush looks at you while talking and has open body language when you speak.
• It’s not a good sign if: your crush does not look at you while you are talking, does not say much, and has closed body language.

2. Be interested in who they are as a person and listen to everything they say.

• It’s a good sign if: your crush shows similar interest in you and what you have to say.
• It’s not a good sign if: your crush does not seem interested in what you have to say or does not show excitement in your interests.

According to studies by the University of Nevada and the University of Washington, being a good listener is a huge part of having someone fall in love with you. People love it when other people take an interest in them and don’t immediately change the conversation so they can talk about themselves right away. Ask follow-up questions and respond warmly to what the other person is saying.

3. Notice what hobbies and interests they have.

Science tells us that people tend to fall in love with those who are very similar to themselves.

Studies have linked similar backgrounds and similar levels of physical attractiveness to the process of falling in love. It’s a terrible idea to try to change yourself in order to have more in common with or please somebody else.

However, if your crush has a hobby that you have had an interest in, it’s time to drive into that hobby, too.

For example, if you share a class or lab with them, look over at what they’re doing and say, “Hmmm, that looks pretty good.” This (then point) looks especially interesting. “What’s that about?”

4. Make them feel appreciated and special.

48 percent of couples have said they don’t feel appreciated by their partner, so if you can make your crush feel like you appreciate everything they do and everything they are, they’re more likely to fall for you.

Building off of our class or lab example above, you could then say, “Hey, look at what I’m doing here. What do you think of it?” Then listen to what they have to say and respond with, “That’s insightful. I hadn’t thought of that, so thank you for pointing that out.”

5. Flirt The Correct Way

• It’s a good sign if: your crush flirts in return.
• It’s not a good sign if: your crush remains silent and does not flirt at all or rarely flirts.

• Smile a lot. Body language studies say that smiling makes you look more attractive, more engaging, and it makes you look like a winner, all of which increase how hot and confident you look to someone who you’re hoping will become your person.

• Touch them more often. If your crush is male, touching your crush often increases a sense of comfort and intimacy with them. So little arm touches when your crush is around are actually working in your favor in a big way. Now, if your crush identifies as female, you have to avoid non-consensual touching.

6. Embrace what the other person is most passionate about.

When someone talks about something they’re really passionate about, they’re often sharing a part of themselves that’s vulnerable, so if you can appreciate that thing they love, they’re likely to be crazy about you in return.

Again building off the class/lab example above, let’s say that you overhear your crush mention to friends that he or she loves movies and movie marathons. Then, you notice that your crush is wearing a movie t-shirt. You could then say, “That’s my favorite movie! What do you like about it?” At the end of class, you could say, “I gotta get home, but I’m looking forward to seeing if your next movie t-shirt is of my second favorite movie.”

7. Bond over an adrenaline rush

There’s a connection between adrenaline rushes and sexual attraction. Test subjects were put in a scary situation (a shaky bridge), and then had to rate their feelings toward other participants. Compared to the control group who were on a safe, non-rickety bridge, the people who thought their lives were in danger were much more attracted to their fellow test subject. Roller-coaster date might be a perfect (and much safer) choice.

What Are Your Chances of Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back?

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8. Play hard to get and utilize the Zeignarik Effect

• It’s a good sign if: your crush tries to finish the conversation the same day or the next day.
• It’s not a good sign if: your crush does not follow-up or remember the topic of discussion.

According to the “scarcity principle” invented by psychologist and author Robert Cialdini, objects that are rare, unique, or limited in time will make people desire them more. In one study of college students, four women were shown pictures of men they were told either liked them “a lot,” “an average amount,” or who “were uncertain of their feelings,” and then we’re asked to rate how attractive they found each photo. If you guessed that they found the “uncertain of their feelings” guys the most attractive, you’d be correct.

The Indirect Way Of Telling A Guy You Like Him

Much of this is straight out of an MBA program and any reading that any lawyer, sales, marketing, communications, or organizational executive would do.

People who are good at influencing others find ways to gather people together and get them to buy into a common goal (e.g., celebrate a birthday), initiative (e.g., watch all Marvel movies in chronological order), or solve some problem (e.g., we haven’t gathered in one place since the pandemic began).

They also find natural ways to be front and center from time to time; hence, perhaps you’re organizing parties or get togethers.

• Become friends with your crush’s Sphere of Influence
• Maintain good relationships with people within Sphere of Influence by checking in, showing you genuinely care about each person
• In a 70/30 fashion (you are listening 70% of the time, talking 30% of the time) Listen to Sphere of Influence and ask questions that are simply about the Sphere of Influence
• When you speak, address what the Sphere of Influence said and weave into the conversation your qualities and interests that you share with your crush
• Become actively involved in group activities of Sphere of Influence
• Work your social media

Make it clear that you’re single and looking to date a person who has certain characteristics – be sure to list the outstanding positive characteristics of your crush When you’re evaluating Sphere of Influence, ask yourself some questions:

• How much outside support (ie, Sphere of Influence) do I need?
• Who are the people, what are the organizations, and what are the interests that matter most to my crush?
• Why do I need this person’s support or persons’ support? Why are these organizations important to my crush? What are my crush’s top interests?
• What are the similarities between me and my crush?
• What does my crush appear to find most attractive in terms of interests, activities, and values?
• No matter what happens, how am I making sure that I continue to feel good and strong about myself?

And Finally The Combination Approach

You will have your highest chances of your crush reciprocating your feelings if you have a good handle on Sphere of Influence and are effectively interacting with your crush directly.

But what would this actually look like?

In an interview I did with Chris he tells the story of how he tried to tell a crush that he liked her.

He created a study group for the sole purpose of flirting with this girl inviting other people along to make her feel more comfortable. This would be classified as an indirect method.

Of course, during the study group he tried some very light flirting with her. This would be our direct method.

Think of the combination factor as combining the best aspects of both direct and indirect approaches.