There is a rule when it comes to breakups.
Everyone always chooses a side.
That’s just the way it is.
Your exes friends and family will be on his side and your friends and family will be on your side. Often times your loved ones will give you these patented speeches,
“You are better off without him.”
“I never liked him anyways.”
“Now we can have fun being single.”
It’s funny, I will never forget the time that I went through my very first breakup. My best friend ended up showing up at my house and taking me out for the day to try to make me feel better. He must have given me the speeches above about twenty times. When word finally got around to my parents my dad ended up sitting me down and explaining that I was still young and I was going to find someone better down the road.
(P.S. He was right.)
My mother on the other hand told me that I was the most handsome person she knew and any girl would be lucky to have me….
(P.S. She was right.)
😉
It was at this moment that I began to realize that troops were beginning to rally around me in order to offer their support.
Who were the troops?
My friends and family!
Of course, I wasn’t the only one who had troops rallying around them. No, my ex did as well.
The point I am trying to make here is pretty simple.
In every single breakup sides are chosen.
Now, this little tidbit of information is kind of what this whole article is going to be about. You see, the troops that rallied around you for support during your breakup with your ex boyfriend will be your greatest asset in overcoming the pain surrounding the breakup.
However, when it comes to getting an ex boyfriend back you may find that they are your greatest liability.
This article is all about how to handle that unfortunate situation.
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How Society Views Exes
Society has a very different view than you do about your ex boyfriend. I mean, this article pretty much assumes that you are trying to win your ex boyfriend back which of course means you view your ex boyfriend as someone you can fall in love with.
What Are Your Chances of Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back?
Take the quizSo, in order to understand the view that society (including many of your friends and family) takes on your ex boyfriend I want you to take a look at the picture below,
I picked this picture for a number of reasons.
In general the picture is saying that if you read the same chapter in a book nothing new is ever going to happen. Thus, if we apply this logic to your ex boyfriend we can assume that if you get back with your ex boyfriend history is simply going to repeat itself with another breakup.
You will find that this is mostly societies view of breakups and exes.
You see, most people have a one and done approach.
“If it doesn’t work out with someone once then it can never work out.”
Well, this is simply not the case.
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The Flaw With Societies Logic
What have we learned so far?
Well, we learned that after every breakup people close to the couple are going to pick sides. Some people will gravitate towards you and some will gravitate towards your ex boyfriend. We also learned that society believes that nothing good can ever come from getting back with an ex.
(Remember, the picture with the book?)
Here is the truth…
Societies logic on this matter is flawed.
I have seen my fair share of breakups through this site and the thing that always amazes me is now how often that people get back together but it’s how often they stay together. Seriously, when I first started this site back in 2012 I knew I had the chops to teach women how to get back with their exes. I mean, come on, I know exactly how men work and what buttons to press to hook them. However, I didn’t really think many of the couples would end up together long term.
I was wrong…
A lot of the women who ended up getting their exes back as a result of this site are still with them to this day. Heck, I have even heard my fair share of proposal and marriage stories from these women too.
This tells me that sometimes an ex boyfriend is worth fighting for and people who tell you,
“Moving on is the best thing for you.”
Can sometimes be flat out wrong.
Speaking of these people…
What Are Your Chances of Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back?
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I have some good news and some bad news.
What would you like to hear first?
The good news?
Your friends and family love you and they usually want the best for you. So, contrary to popular belief they do want to see you happy.
Ok, now it is time for the bad news.
In your friends and families minds they do not think that you can be happy with your ex boyfriend.
Remember what I said above about how society often thinks there is no hope for a couple who has broken up? Well, more often than not your friends and family are going to share that belief. So, it may not be to your advantage to let them in on your plans of getting your ex boyfriend back because they could fill your head up with more questions than answers.
Case Study: A Family Who Wouldn’t Support A Woman Trying To Get Her Ex Boyfriend Back
I am going to let you in on a pretty interesting situation that came to my attention in 2013, two years ago.
If you have ever stumbled across my, Ex Boyfriend Recovery PRO page you may have noticed a testimonial from a woman named Ashlee that kind of sticks out among the rest.
Why does it stick out?
Well, because this woman not only got her ex boyfriend back but she got him to marry her.
Here is the testimonial in case you are wondering,
(Click The Picture To Enlarge)
Now, while Ashlee did get a very happy ending to her love story we can’t really learn anything from that so I want to take you back to the time where she and her ex boyfriend were broken up.
You see, Ashlee was absolutely head over heels for this guy and he broke up with her for some weird reason (to be honest I can’t remember because this literally happened like two years ago.) Anyways, what I do remember from the situation was how UN-supportive her family and friends were of her attempt to get back with her ex.
They would tell her things like,
“It will never work out between you two…”
or
What Are Your Chances of Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back?
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or
“I really think you should move on…”
Ashlee was very upset with her friends and family for how they were acting and it was starting to get to her. In fact, it was starting to bug her so much that she contemplated just giving up altogether on her ex boyfriend.
She asked me the question that 50% of the women ask me on this site every single day.
“Is it worth it? Do I even have a chance? Should I just give up?”
I spurred her on and gave her a little confidence to keep going forward but as confident as I made her about her ex boyfriend her friends and family were always there to thwart my progress with her. Fortunately, Ashlee was still deeply in love with her ex boyfriend so anything that her friends and family did say to her went in one ear and out the other.
It took her a while but she ended up getting her boyfriend back and then a few months later he proposed. They have now been married since late 2013.
So, what was the point of me telling you this little case study?
Well, even though a lot of people out there (I am looking at you friends and family) believe that exes should stay exes the truth is that a lot of times a relationship is worth fighting for.
This is a prime example of that.
Imagine if Ashlee had listened to her friends who told her to not go after her ex. How about her family who told her that he was not worth it?
Well, if she had done that then she probably wouldn’t be married I can tell you that much.
How To Handle Friends And Family Who Disapprove
I am going to be bold here for a minute.
If you are trying to get your ex boyfriend back and you make that knowledge available to your inner circle (friends, family, co-workers, etc) there is going to be at least one person that is going to disapprove and try to talk you out of it.
Whether or not you listen to them is entirely up to you. However, since my main function through this site is to help you get your ex boyfriend back I am going to talk a little bit about what you need to do to smooth things over so that you can set yourself up for a successful “get your ex back” campaign.
Should You Tell Anyone That You Are Trying To Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back?
This is kind of a tough question to answer if I am being completely honest.
Why?
Well, because if you talk to your friends and family about your desire to get your ex boyfriend back and they get on board with you then not only will you have the support of Ex Boyfriend Recovery to fall back on but theirs as well and that can do wonders for your confidence.
However, if they don’t approve…
Well, then things become more complicated and it can put you at odds with them since technically they will be trying to derail your progress by constantly telling you that its not worth it to get your ex back.
So, do you tell people or not?
I think in order to answer this question we should take a look at what women with successful “get your ex back”campaigns have done.
What Successful Women Have Done
I have had some unique experiences interacting with women in this instance.
In fact, I have had some unique experiences interacting with mothers. No seriously, a lot of times I will have moms messaging me and begging me for my advice to help their daughters get their ex boyfriends back. These particular experiences have always stuck out to me.
Why?
Well, firstly it’s because if a mom is going to go to that deep for her daughter to ask a complete stranger (ME) for help then that means that she is most likely the type of person that is going to help and support her daughter in what she wants.
Now, I don’t know about you but if I was trying to get an ex back that is the type of person that I would want in my corner.
So, if you have a member of your family or a friend that is willing to be that type of person for you that they would support you in your attempts to win back your ex then you could probably trust them enough to let them in on what your plans are.
However, if you have friends or family who you are unsure about then I would recommend not letting them in on your plans just yet.
FYI most successful women have one or two people that they can trust enough to tell their ambitions to.
Usually not more though.
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What To Do In A Situation Where Your Network Of Friends And Family Disapproves Of Your Intentions Of Getting Your Ex Back
Lets assume a worst case scenario here.
Lets say that your friends and family absolutely hate your ex boyfriend and disapprove of your idea of getting him back. Your friends constantly berate you for even wanting to get back with him.
Your family on the other hand, well, they absolutely forbid it.
Of course, you want nothing more than to get your ex boyfriend back so you are really caught between a rock and a hard place.
How do you smooth the situation over with your friends and family so they aren’t impeding your progress?
Well, below I have come up with a couple of methods to prevent any backlash from friends and family about your ex.
Method One- Nipping It In The Bud Before It Happens
I have a great relationship with my family.
I would do anything for them and deep down they know that. However, when it came to my love life I never really consulted them as much as other people probably did. In fact, I would make a point to avoid that subject at all costs.
It’s not because I was being secretive or anything like that it was because I really didn’t want their help with my love life.
I always had a strong idea with how I wanted my love life to go and experience taught me from watching others that getting other people involved in your relationship other than the two people inside the relationship isn’t a great idea.
How did I come to this conclusion.
I have my very first girlfriend to thank for that.
Looking back she was a very nice girl but the thing that constantly turned me off about her were her parents. You see, she had the worst type of parents.
They were controlling, prying and essentially made all of her decisions for her.
Yup, oftentimes when we would have an argument over something her parents would find a way to get involved and then not only would I have to cry mercy to her but to her parents as well. In fact, it became so ridiculous at one point that her father actually called me up on the phone one morning and demanded that I drive over to his house and apologize to HIM after his daughter and I got into an argument the night before.
To my great shame… I did it.
Here is the weirdest part though when I asked him what he was angry at me for specifically he wouldn’t tell me.
These type of experiences taught me never to bring these types of outside forces into relationships. More often than not they do more harm than good. So, I recommend that before you attempt to get your ex boyfriend back you don’t let the entire world know.
Don’t let your parents in on your plans (unless you really trust them) and don’t let your friends in either (unless you really trust them.)
Nip it in the bud before it becomes a problem.
Unfortunately, some of you already opened your big mouths and no longer have the “nip it in the bud option.”
If you are one of these people then I would like you to take a look at method two below.
Method Two- Make An Effort To Understand Them And Then Do What You Want
By nature I am a people pleaser.
That means that if anyone disagrees with me or if someone isn’t going to support me it is going to hit me a little bit harder than the normal type of person out there. Another interesting thing about me is that I absolutely hate conflict.
Seriously, sometimes if I have a conflict with someone I love it affects me so much to where I can’t even do work or concentrate until that conflict is resolved.
What we are dealing with here is a pretty crappy situation in which your friends and family aren’t being supportive of your intentions to try to get your ex boyfriend back. So, lets do a little role playing here so I can illustrate method two properly for you.
Lets say that you tell your best friend that you stumbled across my website, Ex Boyfriend Recovery, and you picked up my E-Book, Ex Boyfriend Recovery PRO. After reading it’s amazing advice (I am a bit biased) you decide that you want to give a relationship with your ex boyfriend another try.
You go into this little conversation with your best friend with high hopes but they are immediately crushed when she says that your idea is dumb and that he isn’t worth your time.
It is at this point that you reach the proverbial fork in the road where you have two choices.
- You can agree with her and give up because you received a little push back
- You can ignore her push back and attempt to get your ex boyfriend back.
Now, most women who are set on getting their boyfriends back are going to do what they want and ignore their friends push back. However, the way you ignore that friends push back is very important.
For example, lets say you have an un-supportive friend who tells you that it is a dumb idea to try to get your ex boyfriend back. Well, if you immediately retaliate by saying,
“Well, your dumb for not supporting me.”
then you will be adding fuel to the fire and alienating your friend which will most likely make her not want to support you even more.
What is the proper way to handle this situation.
A famous quote immediately comes to mind here.
The actor, Robert Downey Jr. (AKA Iron Man, Sherlock Holmes and Charlie Chaplin) told an interesting story one time during an interview for a movie promotion.
He was once faced with a very tough situation. He was acting a scene a certain way and the director didn’t particularly like the way he was doing it. So, the director kept yelling,
“CUT!”
Once the scene was stopped the director walked over to Downey Jr. and gave him advice on how he thought the scene should be acted. It was at this point that Downey Jr. gave one of the most epic quotes of all time,
“Listen, smile, agree and then do whatever you were going to do anyway”
I envision this quote any time I hear about parents or friends giving women a hard time about wanting to get their ex boyfriends back. Sometimes, if you just make an effort to listen, smile, agree and then do whatever you want in the first place the entire situation will be smoothed over with your network.
Eli
November 23, 2024 at 7:14 am
Thank you for this article. It’s been of great comfort to read. I’d just like to ask – if I may – what I should do in regards to my partner. I’ve moved back in with my parents to think about whether or not I want to remain in my relationship.
I’ve been very hurt, I’ve been called names about my appearance. Shouted at and told to ‘go away’ when trying to talk to him so we don’t go to bed on an argument. And historically we have had multiple blow ups where I am told I need to change, that it’s my fault, and been the one who has to ‘prove myself’.
But this time, he is the one chasing me. He is telling me how sorry he is and that he has realised he too needs to change. But can I after all the disrespect I’ve suffered?
All of my friends and family know the details of what he has said to me, and have told me it’s emotional abuse. But he wants to give it all another try?
So do I listen to my support network, or try and resolve my four year relationship where I’ve basically been this guys mum in all aspects of day to day life ?
Yenifer
June 5, 2024 at 8:26 am
I’m 22, three weeks ago my parents kicked my boyfriend out of the house. My boyfriend and brother got in a fight and I ended up getting hurt. We have a baby together and we want to go to therapy and reconcile. My family tells me if we get back together I would have to leave as well. I’m feeling confused and not sure what to do.
Jennifer
August 7, 2023 at 4:47 pm
My son doesn’t approve of me getting back with my ex. My ex is very pushy about me being honest with him. I am also in recovery and trying to build a firm foundation that my son can grant me trust again. My ex and I were toxic together previously and my son is fearful of repeating same behaviors. I need help.
Coach Shaunna
August 16, 2023 at 2:20 pm
I would suggest you choose your child over a ex any day especially if you are attempting to fix your relationship withy our son
Tanisha Bordoloi
April 22, 2023 at 7:05 pm
Me and my ex boyfriend broke up 4 months ago. I was depressed and I wasn’t able to give time to my ex. I asked for 3 months break from him. We were completely intended on getting back once it ends but somehow he got closed with another girl. I left him in anger and told my sis and cousin. Now they don’t support me getting him back. What should I do? He’s really changing himself this time. And i know he can.
Coach Shaunna
August 16, 2023 at 2:10 pm
Your sister and cousin will be looking out for your feelings and emotions. If you and your ex want to be together and the relationship is happy nad healthy then carry on they will learn to accept things.
Catherine
January 8, 2023 at 11:44 pm
I mentioned that I want to get back with my ex to my mom and grandma who disapproved. I did use logic when talking to my grandmother about it which might have helped. I agree that getting them involved is not a good idea.
Barry
May 21, 2022 at 7:21 am
I think my exes friends are holding her back from reconcileing with me what should I do is there no hope
Selina
September 30, 2021 at 12:30 am
Hi Selina here I need your advice,my ex and I broke up a year ago and we both moved on but in the process of moving on I became pregnant and Im not with the baby daddy we broke up ,but I’m back with my first ex he still loves me and ready to accept the child like has I don’t know what to do because he wants to go apologize to his family aswel because we are dating
Linda Nissen
July 4, 2021 at 9:10 am
My mom doesn’t like my ex husband who I divorced, but I still have feelings for him and I think I did something wrong for divorcing him. but my mom is very controlling she doesn’t even want him in the condo and his sister and mom don’t even want me in his apartment. How can we see each other with this dilemma please answer my question.
Thanks Linda nissen
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
July 4, 2021 at 10:49 pm
Hi Linda, you are both adults… you live your own lives and your family will have to learn to accept that you are with someone who you love and makes you happy.
Aramae
February 22, 2021 at 12:57 pm
Hello there I need some advise coz I can’t get over it . Me and my ex boyfriend did broke up because her mother doesn’t approve of our relationship . Her mother messaged him to block me on all social media platforms and her mother messaged me as well to leave her son alone . I wanted him back but don’t know how to since we don’t have contact with each other.
Vivian
January 25, 2021 at 4:31 am
me and my ex..or idk what to call him right now we broke up 3 or 4weeks ago..and we were together for a year a really good relationship but a lot of arguments because i have a lot of mental illness and i kept fighting over everything and he always understood that i did have patience issues because we can barely see each other because of covid…but this time we got into a fight where he was being immature about the idea of me going to college 2 hours away from home where he wanted to attend college and we fought and we broke up we didn’t talk at all for two weeks but i kept asking about him through friends and a week ago he texted me saying he did lots of thinking and he wants me back and he can be better and love me the way i deserve and can deal with me going to college two hours away.. my mom saw me talking to him and she said she forbids us being together that she won’t allow us to try again because he always made me cry but he didn’t always make me cry i cried when we argued and disagreed because i didn’t want to be doing that with my favorite person and i cried a lot after the break up because i lost my favorite person because we were being immature..i wish my mom could accept we are trying to fix things. and if i had courage to tell her we are working on things again.. he was my best friend and best lover
Megan
December 15, 2020 at 9:33 am
Hi.
My ex and I broke up about 4 months ago (dated for nearly 8 years), went through the no contact period and started talking again about a month and a half after we broke up. We haven’t spoken about the break up at all; I don’t want to push it down on him considering he was the one who broke up with me. (He didn’t give a reason why, but he was going through depression again and I think that might have contributed to the real reason why) We have met up a few times, also went away for a weekend together without my family knowing. I did tell his parents about it all because they are more supportive with the idea of us getting back together. His parents invited the both of us for a New years weekend away, and instead of keeping it quite, I told my sister about it. Of course she went off on me, telling me I should just get over him and move on and that going away with them will just be wrong because I am not part of their family anymore. My father is more neutral and in a way supportive regarding whatever I want to do with this relationship. I just can’t shake the feeling that my sister is so judgmental and against the relationship. I am afraid that if my ex and I do work things out that I won’t have the support I need. I am an overthinker so this is bothering me a lot. Should I just brush off her remarks and ignore her?
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
December 23, 2020 at 10:51 pm
Hi Megan, so the issue with family or friends in this sense is that they care about YOU not your ex. If your ex hurt them then they are going to dislike your ex regardless if you choose to forgive them. You need to explain to your sister that you WANT to give things another chance and you would appreciate her understanding and know she is worried that things could go wrong again. But it is on you if it falls apart and you wont come complaining to her if it does. You then have to accept if you want to be with your ex, and your sister does not accept it. It is YOUR life, not hers to live. As long as your ex is not abusive, and is willing to be in a healthy relationship then your sister will learn to live with it.
john DOE
December 13, 2020 at 6:05 pm
Hi there, my ex and I had a pretty terrible break up. It was all my fault, I had lied to her about my career, age and heritage. There is a 6 year gap between us. We eventually and slowly got back together. However, unfortunately her family will not accept me under any means. Any suggestions or advise will be greatly appreciated
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
December 13, 2020 at 8:19 pm
Hi there John, so the fact her family will not accept you. This needs needs to change if she is close to her family and their opinions matter. In the mean time just focus on yourself and your relationship showing that you are a good man and are respectful to their daughter.
S
November 15, 2020 at 11:58 pm
Hello, so my lady and I have been dating for 5 years. We have broken up a few times, and this last time was very very rough. I am living with her, and I am working on the things that have bothered her THIS time around. It has been a crazy roller coaster ride, and I honestly understand that by society’s perspective, we should just stop. I honestly love her, and just want to live a life with her. I can’t see any future without having a family with her. Anyways, I live with her, and we still cuddle together, and we have date nights at least once a week, and we meal prep, and we do things together. I have been trying to budget, and get my finances right and even picked up a second job. Thing is she said her parents hate me, and her co workers all actively remind her not to be with me. She has been trying to date , but she says she doesn’t feel the way she does with me, she is not sure what she wants. She doesn’t know if we could get over everyone else’s opinions, and she doesn’t want to be a fool again in their eyes if it failed. She said I am being given an opportunity to try to show her I can keep up the progress and not prioritize others over her. As of right now she is just unsure. Could you give me thoughts on this? I just feel like at the of the day, your choices are your choices and everyone else has opinions, but if I can show her I can do this, that should help validate her being with me. Idk , I just figured I’d ask a totally unbiased person. Thanks
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
January 6, 2021 at 10:17 pm
Hi S, so yes you need to prove yourself if you’ve been messing up a bit, but you are also right that others opinions should not matter as long as you are both in a happy and healthy relationship. But she needs to be headstrong in her decision. It does sound as if she wants to be with you, but also scared that you are going to repeat past mistakes. So if you love her, then I suggest that you make things work on your part. If she is unhappy after you have worked on yourself and you are doing the best that you can, then maybe you are just not compatible in the end because there is only so much you can do to yourself, before you stop being you.
Michelle Skeen
November 15, 2020 at 10:40 pm
Im 61 and in the exact position of wanting to go back to my ex with the total utter disapproval of my grown daughters, so much so they say their contact with me will be cut off to a minimal point. I think I should be allowed to go back if I want and not to have to choose between them.
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
December 4, 2020 at 9:45 pm
Hi Michelle, so yes the decision is yours and it is your life. They are grown and living their own lives. However, as long as this ex is not an abuser or toxic in some way that I would say that it will just take time for them to understand that it is your life. If you have moaned and groaned about said ex to your daughters and made out that he is a horrible man and treated you poorly, or he cheated on you etc. I understand their concerns as I would worry for you to go back to someone who treated you badly too. It’s just about looking at the relationship from their perspective…
Bailey
October 26, 2020 at 4:57 pm
Hi,
I’m not sure if most people will be able to relate with me about my situation, but here goes. My ex and I were together for roughly six months. It was my first relationship, where I experienced a lot of firsts with him. It wasn’t a perfect relationship, but we did make each other happy, but around Dec ’19, he broke up with me and three weeks later he was with someone new. I was heartbroken of course, and determined to have him back. But after a month of us breaking up, I started to slowly move on. Around late March, when the pandemic got worse and we had to quarantine ourselves in our home, he reached out to me, begging for a second chance. I was hesitant at first because he had hurt me the worst way possible, but his words seemed sincere and so I decided to try and give it a go. And he was different, he was starting to enjoy the things I liked, and wanted to spend more time with me. He truly was becoming different than the person I knew before and I truly felt like I could give him a second chance.
But my younger sister despises him with a passion, rightfully so. And I can’t tell you how many arguments we’ve gotten into about it, but we can never see eye to eye about it. My ex and I officially got back together in July but I kept that a secret from everyone except my best friend. It hasn’t been the easiest to go see him with the pandemic and my sister breathing down my back. Its starting to become unhealthy for me. One one hand I want to have a real relationship with this person, but I also want my sister to come to terms about it too. I’m completely torn in half. I don’t know what to do.
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
October 28, 2020 at 4:34 am
Hi Bailey, it is common that someone doesn’t like our exes when they have done something to hurt us. However, it is YOUR life. You need to keep in mind though if your boyfriend does something to upset you, hurt you, or you have a falling out. Your sister is not the person to go to to vent to, it is just going to reinforce her reasons for hating him. IF you and your boyfriend are strong and in a good place, I would suggest that you tell your sister that you have agreed to start dating him again, and you understand she is worried about you and does not like him right now, but understand that he makes you happy. She will either silently hate him for a long time, or she will learn to accept that you are together again.
Alicia
October 5, 2020 at 8:37 pm
Hey there
I broke up with my long time love, about 2 months ago.
This break up pretty much was a build up, but initially started, because my love had bipolar disorder. Because of this, he would lose jobs, be depressed and not do anything to help, or would be going through manic states ruining a lot of things(ability to pay bills because he would be manic mode spending every penny on who knows what, etc) I never told anyone about this because he was pretty obvious about it and everyone on my side formed their own opinion about it.
This last manic event was the worst I ever dealt with, and caused my family and friends to be afraid for me and my daughter(which my love never physically or mentally harmed us before) but this time he went crazy, threatened my dad not with direct threats but actions and was taking crazy.
Everyone disliked him before any of that occurred, because, like I said he was obvious with all the roles of a bipolar person. Because of that, I kept our relationship a secret.
So now that this blew up and everyone saw the explosion, they’ve told me they’d be done with me if I went back, never to help or talk to me again.
Like you, I take this all on very harshly. I have panic attacks quit frequently, and have no one to confide to.
It took about a month for the manic mode to stop, and I got to talk to my love, finally. What was the worst was the initial splitting up, because it was like I broke up with Mr. Hyde and desperately wanted to talk it out with Dr. Jekyll. So, I finally was able to talk with him, and we’re not living together, but we’re working things out.
My daughter doesn’t totally disapprove, but she does if he’s not going to change, which, that’s what this whole now talking and working this out is supposed to be, so, add looking ads I’m not putting her in harm’s way, just like everyone else, there…they can keep their opinions.
I dunno, I guess in just looking to someone besides prayers, to tell me it’s ok, and if it’s meant to be it’ll be…
shanice
September 15, 2020 at 2:03 am
hi there, my boyfriend just brought up breaking up with me. he says the biggest issue is that his father and sister whom he stays with do not like me, and he tried to change their mind but he can’t. i’m aware of their personalities and they are both rather stubborn people, however i feel that this is unfair to me as i’ve never known of their feelings towards me and i’m not close to them at all. nevertheless he insists that he doesn’t think they will change their minds and that he knows them. we have a hi-bye relationship as they are both rather quiet and i’ve never known that they were so affected by it. i feel so wronged because i was never given the chance to even try to make amends. can i continue pursuing this matter? in trying to get him to at least give me a chance to better the relationship with them? or is there absolutely no hope? should i also talk to his mom (who’s fine with me) about this or would it be crossing the line?
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
October 2, 2020 at 8:10 pm
Hi Shanice, if he has already ended things with you then you need to go into a No Contact straight away, but if you are still together then you can speak with his mother and see if she can make him see that the issue with his father and sister is something that can hopefully be rectified.
Millow
August 23, 2020 at 4:41 pm
Hi,
I had a separation with my partner just 1 month ago and he already moved out from the apartment we lived in. I think he said because we both have our own problems(job pressure, both being emotional, staying at one place too long, my temper ) and for me, I worked from home alone too long and did not see ppl because of cover-19 and I developed very bad emotions. His family hated me like crazy because they said I hurt him a lot in mental but I cannot control the job pressure, place I live and other pressure that turned me into this kind of person. In short, if an ex’s family hated me, I think there is no future for us even though he didn’t hate me personally?, he just hated my parents too and he didn’t want to see them for life. So there is no chance for us to get back?
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
September 6, 2020 at 10:25 am
Hey Millow I think the issue is that you have created this negative mindset, also being secluded during the pandemic has hurt a lot of peoples mental health. Your goal and focus right now should be getting into a positive mindset, seek some local therapy to help you work on your mindset and just generally have a better life. Follow the rules of No Contact for 45 days and then start reaching out to your ex if you are in a better mental place
Jayne Gorman
August 22, 2020 at 11:29 am
I came across this site when I was devastated by my boyfriend of over 2 years who left me and, within a week, was ‘Facebook official’ with someone else.
I read and read and read, most of the blogs on this site. It was a life saver.
I started my no contact period and, trusting this site as I did, I completed 32 days at the first time of trying. I reached out to my ex, something about some mail that had been delivered to my house and he responded immediately.
Within 2 days, he was pouring his heart out to me about our split nearly killing him, that he’d tried to replace me with a rebound and that he wanted to come back to me.
I am still pinching myself that this is all happening. My boyfriend and I are back together!!
I am now at the stage of reading about the disapproving family and friends because telling them is our next hurdle.
Absolutely can’t thank this site enough. It has made my dream come true and I will now recommend it to anyone else going through a break up.
I’m living proof that you can get back with your ex, even when he’s with someone else, and continue to make each other happy.
Thank you
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
September 5, 2020 at 11:34 am
Hi Jayne, so glad you found this website helpful! Good luck with telling the friends and family – they should be fine as its your happiness is all they want
Milli Barrow
August 2, 2020 at 9:29 pm
Hi I split up with my ex about 6 months ago being three years on and off and I recently keep seeing him out at gatherings and he keeps showing me lots of attention but my family dislike him and don’t want me anywhere near him as we have had a tough relationship he hadn’t been the best but I feel it’s different and he does too but I have family members saying he’ll never change I need to stay away yet I can’t, please help
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
August 3, 2020 at 8:08 pm
Hi Milli, giving that you are older than 18 I would suggest that you focus on what is going to make you happy. Your family will accept what you choose as long as the relationship is healthy and he does not mistreat you