One day the two of you were together, holding hands and perfectly happy. Then, the breakup happened.
When the breakup happened you probably thought it couldn’t get worse. But now that you have been split up for a bit, you are noticing that your ex has changed.
Making life changes after a breakup is pretty normal. I mean, we basically tell you to make your life better during No Contact.
How Guys Handle Breakups
Let’s face it. Guys are confusing already. But understanding how guys handle breakups is kind of imperative to understanding why he has changed.
So, consider this “Understanding How Guys Handle Breakups 101.”
Like I said before, guys aren’t very transparent about their feelings when you’re dating them. So, it’s understandable that he isn’t LESS confusing now that you’ve broken up. Right?
Now, that you have split up, you are probably feeling very emotional and all you want to do is talk about how you are feeling. Men are different though. Guys are more likely to avoid acknowledging that they are feeling anything.
Think about it for a second. Guys go their whole lives being told that they need to be “tough.” Crying it out with his friends over some wine and binging rom-coms just doesn’t work for guys.
Over time, the feelings catch up with them, though.
Why am I telling you all of this?
Well, if you are noticing changes in your ex right after the breakup, it is likely that some of these changes are his way of avoiding his feelings.
Here are a few of the ways that avoidance manifests.
Types of Changes
- He Acts Like He Doesn’t Care
- He’s Being A Jerk
- He Started Dating Someone New
- He Is Partying A Lot
- He Is Posting A Lot On Social Media
- He’s Doing Some Really Dumb Stuff (getting into trouble, making poor choices, hanging out with not-so-great people, etc.)
- Physical Changes (good or bad)
- Treating His New Girlfriend Better Than He Treated You
It’s hard to watch someone you love change, especially when they are making dumb choices. But it can be even harder to watch them grow in positive ways without you.
But, hey! I don’t have to tell you that. You’re seeing it as we speak.
What Are Your Chances of Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back?
Take the quizPermanent Changes vs Temporary Changes
How do you know if the changes you are seeing your ex boyfriend go through are temporary or permanent? Let’s get a better idea of how long these changes may last.
Timing
The time and the timing of the changes are going to be key to determining if the change is temporary or more permanent.
The longer a change lasts, the more likely it is to be permanent.
The sooner after a breakup, the more likely the change is to be temporary.
What Are Your Chances of Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back?
Take the quizLet me give you an example.
Let’s say following the breakup, your boyfriend went skydiving and is doing a lot of daredevil like activities.
“Woah, this is weird and out of character He is afraid of heights.”
I would initially say that these changes are temporary and he’s likely using them as an outlet to keep his mind off of the breakup.
But, if it is three months after the breakup and he’s done three different jumps, gone rock climbing, and has booked a trip to go surfing in Maui the following summer. I would say the daredevil bug has been caught and those changes are going to be permanent.
Do you see the difference?
Investment
If you’ve read the Ex Boyfriend Recovery Program, you know that investment equals commitment. So, if your ex is putting a lot of money and time into the changes that he has made, then it is likely that he won’t be going back to his old ways soon.
For example, going out and drinking a lot doesn’t require a lot of investment. Furthermore, when it does start to cost him the big bucks it is likely that it will start to take more TIME to recover and it will affect his SLEEP schedule. He will be less likely to find this activity as appealing.
Although, drinking on that level does run the risk of becoming an addiction, so it could fall into that “bad decisions” category. You know your ex though. So, you can probably guess better than I can at whether he has an addictive personality or not.
If he does have an addictive personality, it might be harder to come back from decisions involving alcohol or drugs. So, that is something to factor into to determining whether it is a permanent change or not.
Changes that require a lot of investment would be learning a new skill, like playing an instrument or picking up a new hobby.
The one thing that could be hard to determine would be if he is getting into shape. The reason this is so difficult is that the secret lies in his intention or driving force.
If he is getting in shape to get a revenge bod or so he can move on, it would likely be temporary. This is because the reasons for doing it aren’t long-term.
If he is doing it to make a healthy life change, then it’s probably a more permanent change. Generally, if you are dealing with issues like heart problems or blood pressure, a breakup can be just the kick you need to get your butt in gear.
Common Sense
Here is the golden factor in determining whether or not a change is permanent or temporary: Common sense.
Yes, it is as simple as that.
- You know people.
- You know him.
- You know his personality.
Most of the time you can sit back and wait.
If the changes stick around… permanent. If they don’t, then… temporary.
But, knowing your ex, you can likely guess which way it is going to go.
What Should You Do?
Alright, so you likely fall into one of two camps; either you CAN or you CAN’T accept the changes your ex has made.
What Are Your Chances of Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back?
Take the quizEither way, now that you are broken up, there isn’t really much you can do to affect his decisions. You can’t tell him what to do. He’s his own person.
So, go ahead and take a moment to accept that fact. Go on. I’ll wait.
Temporary Changes
The downside of temporary changes is that the only thing you can do is wait them out. The upside is that they don’t last forever.
Negative Changes With Permanent Effects
So, let’s say he’s making some not-so-great decisions that could have life-long consequences. Maybe he’s getting into trouble or sleeping around. Maybe he’s on his way to getting a DWI.
When your ex is making bad choices, there is really nothing you can do short of voicing your opinion. The problem with voicing your opinion is that it will likely make him see you as an enemy. And that is something you definitely don’t want if your goal is to get him back.
What you could do is touch base with a mutual friend or his family and essentially ask them to be there for him since you can’t. You have to do this with a light touch. Otherwise, it seems like you are trying to control him. No one wants a controlling girlfriend, let alone a controlling ex girlfriend.
So, if you do decide to ask them to do you a favor, I would word it like this.
“Hey, I’m not saying it’s my business since we aren’t together anymore, but I’ve heard that Matt has been doing some stuff that is out of character. And even though we aren’t together I still want the best for him, so I was wondering if you’d do me a favor and be there for him and have his back if he needs it. That’s all.”
It acknowledges that you know that you aren’t together and that you don’t expect to get back together. (not that you won’t get back together. It’s just that having expectations can be just as scary to a guy.) But it also establishes that you still care and you want the best for him even if it means you aren’t the one that is there for him through it.
Then there is the chance that he is just being a jerk or acting crazy. In this situation, he isn’t considering a future for the two of you. Instead, he is being driven by emotion.
It is up to you if you decide you want to still take him back after he’s acted this way. Here is an interview Chris did with Marni Battista, a personal dating coach, about how to decide if your ex is even right for you.
Permanent Changes
“My ex boyfriend has changes completely.”
Any permanent changes your ex could have made fall into two categories.
He is acting like he’s changed into a different person.
or
He has stopped hiding the person he really was.
Either way, you have to decide if the person he is becoming is a person that you still want to be with.
If not, let him go. It’s that simple. (Note that I said simple, not easy.)
If you can see yourself dating this new person he has become, then follow the Ex Boyfriend Recovery process.
Essentially, you will be starting a new relationship with a new person AND getting your ex back if he has made significant changes. I mean, think about it. It’ll be like dating a new person anyways.
How do you think a relationship is going to play out if you date someone new and try to turn them into your ex?
What Are Your Chances of Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back?
Take the quizNot well, right?
Then, you have to take into account that we all try to put our best foot forward in the beginning of a relationship. I have a friend who pretended to be vegan at the beginning of a relationship and ended up eating vegan and sneaking hamburgers and steak for years… years!
So, if you find yourself thinking,
“My ex is not even the person I thought he was,”
…you have to take into account that it’s possible he was avoiding behaving a certain way to appeal to you or the relationship and now he’s simply reverting back to the person he was before he met you.
If that’s the case, this falls along the same lines as the other situation. And again the real question is, can you live with whatever that means? Can you live with the person he has become?
But, if you want to know if it is possible to get him back if he’s changed since the breakup, then yes. It IS possible.
The only alterations to the EBR process that I would recommend would be not to rely so heavily on the past. Yes, it exists, but he is clearly trying to distance himself from the person he was.
And when it comes to No Contact, perhaps a longer one (45 days) would be better here so you can:
- make some changes of your own to match up with his, (assuming they were positive changes)
- come to terms with losing the “old him”
- rediscover who you are as a person (you wouldn’t jump from a breakup straight into a relationship with someone new without getting your head straight. You should do the same in starting a new relationship with your “new” ex)
What Have We Learned?
Here’s a quick reminder that making changes after a breakup is normal.
The hard part is realizing that there is not much you can do to stop him from making changes since you aren’t together at the moment.
Basically, you have to ask yourself a question:
“Are these changes something that I can live with if we were to get back together?”
Don’t go into trying to get him back thinking that you can turn him back into the guy you used to love.
I see a lot of women try to do that and it doesn’t work that way. If that is what you came here looking for, then I suggest you think it over. Hoping to change someone is never a good basis going into a relationship, whether it’s brand new or simply salvaging an old one.
If, after considering that, you still want to get your ex back, you simply have to adjust the EBR Pro Program focusing mainly on the following without relying too heavily on the past:
- Starting with No Contact
- Becoming Ungettable
- Reconnecting and Building a New Relationship from the Ground Up
Yes, I simplified, but for the love of everything that there is if you do the program… follow it!
Don’t use the fact that I didn’t list every single step as an excuse to skip the ones I didn’t list. It only works if you commit to it fully. A lot of the failures we see in this program come from people saying, my situation is different so, that clearly doesn’t apply to me.
The most important part, I think, for you is to work on becoming Ungettable. If you are confused when I say Ungettable watch the video below that Chris made specifically explaining what being Ungettable means.
Being ungettable in your current situation can be effectual either way. If your ex is behaving badly, he will want to be better in order to get you back. If he is bettering himself, then he will want you back because he knows he needs someone who is on his level.
So, I want to know about your particular situation. In the comments below tell me about your breakup. Our experts will help you figure out what your next move should be.
- What are the details surrounding your breakup?
- What changes are you seeing in your ex?
- What do you think your next move should be after reading this article and the other EBR material?
Jenna
September 25, 2024 at 2:38 pm
Me and my boyfriend broke on Monday September 29 2024 becuase we where talking about how something and the conversation lead to him saying what if I dont want kids what then and and I said I’d be upset but I’d still wanna be with you and I said dont you dare say that becuase I really dont want him to break with me but then he said I cant give you what you need then I was confused and shocked and at first just so confused that I didnt know what to say and then angry at him and sad and I felt like it was a good thing momentarily becuase he said he doesnt want kids and i said i do and I’d thought I’d let him know earlier on in the relationship in a respectful kind loveing way but he was being confusing by saying yes when your ready we can have one then saying idk and then his finale decision was no and so I felt hurt becuase I knew he didnt want kids when it means alot to me and his reasons when I asked where he said becuase I had to rise all my siblings and becuase I’m not ready to be a dad and the way the world is right now but then at points he’d tell me he doesnt want kids at all then goes back on so I just think he was confusing and thinking it through outloud so I’d like to know more about why he said yes and then other than thinking it through if there is any other reasons and getting back to the part of the break up he said that day he need space and then the next day but I asked him if he stilled wanted to be with me and said yes and I asked if he still wanted to hangout he said yes and then he said when I asked can I tlak to you during your break and he said no but before that he had said we will tlak after the break I’d like to understand what this means and why hes being confusing and when I asked for a reason why he broke up he said I dont know or important questions in our relationship when it was still a relationship so what do these behaviors mean or they becuase me or becuase of him personally does he still want me or what I need clafytion
Charli
July 10, 2021 at 6:41 pm
My parter and I were together for 13 months until I had had it with his selfishness and terribly negative attitude. He would say things like, “I don’t think I’m a jerk, I think the rest of the world is.” Getting him to pull his weight around the house or get a job was worse than pulling teeth. His short temper cost him jobs so I supported him often. I had enough of being around him, although I loved him and could see there was a kind, caring person that had become jaded (before I met him) underneath.
So we are on a lease, sharing a place with my brother. I told him to stay in our room upstairs, while I slept on the couch. I then told him my brother and I are planning on ending the lease and moving on sometime soon. He completely flipped after having breakdowns a few days in a row. Now he is helpful, kind, and open about his mistakes and how cold he was in the past. I enjoy hanging out with him and all he wants to do is spend time with me, even though we are not sleeping together and acting platonically. It’s been about two weeks since I ended it.
We have about 2.5 months until the end of our move out notice and can go. A part of me really wants to stay single during that time and after to see if the changes are permanent. I think that is the best way but staying just friends when he is finally being so sweet is hard.
@yae_lechell
May 17, 2021 at 2:15 pm
1.What are the details surrounding your breakup?
We have known eachother for 1 year now. He has been reluctant to work on his past issues with trauma and abandonment. In turn it has impacted our relationship in the way he treats me. In his mind I do not live up to his expectations which I know are stemmed from his past. I feel he uses a grading system in our relationship. His reluctance to heal and better himself has led me to end it. This decision has occurred multiple times in the past and in turn he had begun to make steps to better himself and has grown and improved which caused me to stay. This time around my patience has run thin and I feel drained emotionally and mentally.
2.What changes are you seeing in your ex?
The pattern of making efforts continues to happen. He has since decided to schedule a session with a therapist in hopes of healing from his past.
3.What do you think your next move should be after reading this article and the other EBR material?
Honestly, I don’t know what I should do. My family believes he is using me and either truly doesn’t love me or doesn’t know how to love me. They want me to let him go.
On my part, I really want this relationship to work and have vowed to work to better it as he has. But I do not want to keep going through what seems to be an up and down roller-coaster relationship.
Sophia
April 3, 2021 at 2:34 pm
Me and my ex were so totally fine in our relationship, we were best friends and everything. then he got moved to another state and started acting really badly towards me and kept blocking and unblocking me. Then he blocked me on my birthday and we didn’t speak since then until yesterday. He unblocked me and was really nasty blaming me for ruining the relationship and all that, mind you i did nothing except love him, he’s the one that was toxic suddenly but i won’t go into detail. He’s with his friends and he was being extremely nasty but then would be a bit nicer without them. Now i’m blocked on everything still and i told him i believe he doesn’t care about me but i just want an apology or something because i really do think he’s lying. help
Sandra
June 20, 2020 at 4:50 pm
My ex and I broke up a few months ago after dating for a few years. He started to treat me badly and never respected me, and after waiting for him to fix things, I eventually broke up with him. Part of me waited so long to break up becuase I was convinced he wouldn’t even care that he was losing me and that would hurt me more. But he was the exact opposite. Calling me crying, begging me to let him fix things, apologizing 24/7 saying he never noticed how bad things were until I slapped the breakup in his face. I had been mourning the relationship for so long while I was still in the relationship, I felt like I didn’t have much more moving on to do after I ended things. So I got in another relationship a few months after. He’s amazing and he treats me so well. There are differences, but all in all, he’s fantastic. And that’s why I feel so awful for feeling like I’ll never love him as much and as passionately as I did my ex. I talked to my ex for the first time in a long time and it felt like all of a sudden we had only broke up the day before and I was so depressed. Sometimes I have a feeling of regret for moving onto another person so fast without trying again. I know these thoughts aren’t right, and maybe I should end things with the new guy until I’m sure. Idk.
Tina
April 19, 2020 at 11:43 pm
My boyfriend broke up with me in December because he doesn’t think we want the same things out of life and because I do not follow his religion, which is a massive part of his life. Since we broke he has come back to me a few times for emotional support, but this has now faded out. He has changed quite a lot since we were together and has put more importance into his religion and becoming closer to God. We still speak but he is adamant he cannot make me happy and give me what I want but he forgets he made me happy when we were together, and I just love and want him!
Jord
March 30, 2020 at 4:32 pm
My ex and i broke up in october, he was still in love but felt trapped and controlled because we argued quite a bit, and also wanted out because he knew i wasnt and had never been in love with him. After breakup i got the feeling of being in love (my mind playing tricks?). We worked on being friends, it was very important to both of us. Then we had another fight in february, after which he said he cared deeply for me and that this would be hard for him too, but we couldnt be friends anymore, because he didnt see things getting out of the same pattern and he had to learn to stop putting me first. Basically: cant be friends anymore because he cares so much about me he forgets about himself and feels trapped. He was determined and calm. After two weeks he stopped me on the street (i didnt see him at first) gave me a hug and asked what i where i was going. Short convo. After that, i didnt speak to him for 5 weeks. I reached out (text) the other day (7 weeks post fight), he had apparently blocked my number but still had me on social media. He told me I have to stop trying to be friends, he is sorry and hopes im doing better but says it will never happen. Ever. He is still determined and calm, seems exactly the same as 7 months ago. He seems to only remember the negative about our relationship although most was actually positive. In august he will move far away for uni, time stresses me out. I dont think my feeling of being in love is real, i never felt it in our relationship, only post breakup, but i need him back in my life. Now i dont know what to do, seing as he after time still acts cold, determined and calm. What can i do? Is there hope? Will he forever only remember the negative?
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
March 30, 2020 at 8:15 pm
Hi Jord, I am just wondering if you have read and followed the advice given about the Holy Trinity? If not then I would start doing that now. As your ex was cold to you when you say you need him back in your life you are showing that you are focusing on him and not you. This changes the dynamics of how your relationship is going to develop when you speak to him again. But also keep in mind you are starting fresh – treating him like a stranger and building up your way up the value ladder
Cee
January 22, 2020 at 11:02 pm
I’m a bit embarrassed
We were friends first and started getting closer. We were dealing with each other a little over 2 years and boom! I get pregnant. He split from me because of our differences about the children (keeping it vs abortion). And he cut ties. Two weeks later he came back and we messed around and i guess he supposedly wanted to try again, but i did something else recently, and then he separated himself from me again. He came back recently and now he’s acting like a jerk. This is not what i want for my life so I’m ready for him to chase me and fix the error that i caused before its too late. This is the second month and i know time is of the essence. I also think im wasting my time but I’m not sure. I just feel lost and hopeless at this point. (I’ve already started to focus on myself so I’m in a better place than a few weeks ago so I’m ready to see if this could work)
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
January 23, 2020 at 10:00 am
Hi Cee, there is nothing to be embarrassed about here. Everyone has their own story and situation. So you need to read about what limited no contact is and how to follow it when you are pregnant. Keep working on yourself during this time and reach out to him at the end. Don’t think of this as a deadline with time just focus on reading the process and keeping to the steps that Chris goes through in his articles and videos
Lesley
November 3, 2019 at 7:39 pm
Hi, this was me and my ex boyfriend’s first relationship, we had been together for 9 months.
We broke up in March 2019 and haven’t been really contacting each other since. What broke us up was we kept having the same arguments (which were of him not making time for me. He would have school and help his parents with fixing their house and then play video games and not want to message me after ignoring me for 8+ hours. We’d see each other for a few hours once a week but that was because I set the date up) and I guess it was too much so we split during an argument while I was overseas for language school. We kept contact while I was overseas until I got home and he called and says “I don’t think we should let this come between us” and he just stopped replying to my messages so I took it as it was definitely over and stopped messaging him. We used see each other twice a month since we have the same class (no talking between us, but he listens into any conversations I have with others) and he’s contacted me twice since I’ve gotten back, both times were about him being worried about a person and if I could pray for them.
What’s been mind boggling for me is how he’s kind of changed in the past few months. They’re not huge changes but subtle ones. He used to absolutely hate his face being on social media, he actually never let me post pictures with his face without it being cover by something which I respected because I thought he might be self conscious about it. Recently, a mutual friend who is also his best friend has been posting pictures and videos of him without his face covered and he’s been doing a lot of flexing and goofing around.
I honestly am not sure what to think/do about this. I think about him a lot and miss him but this change is slightly unsettling and I still wonder if he even cared at all. I do think about if he wanted to get back together, what would happen and I’m very hesitant to let him back because I’m worried the same thing will happen again (emotional immaturity and his intruding parents) and this change is temporary. I haven’t seen him in two months since I have been working during my class hours so I haven’t felt out if it’s real or not. I’m honestly not sure if I’m over it yet, I actually am suspecting that I’ve been trying to bury myself in work to avoid thinking about it so I try to let myself figure things out by talking to my best friend and she’s been helping as much as she can. I have done No Contact a few times, I think it’s been three months since we last messaged. I’m just not sure what to do now?
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
November 9, 2019 at 7:12 pm
So as you have not spoken to him in such a long time he will be getting to a stage where he is over the break up and the relationship. But dont worry, you need to approach him with a nice friendly text and ask for advice on something you know he would be interested in talking to you about. and then re build your connection from there
Lola
November 3, 2019 at 6:01 pm
Me and my ex were close friends before being a couple we motivated each other he was in school doing good and having a good behavior I broke up with him but we kept being friends but he still wanted to get back together at the time I was not ready to commit so he decided to get in a relationship with someone else but he was not trying to tell me I found out by a mutual friend. He still wanted to be friends and he would still text me but unfortunately I was so hurt to find out about he’s reationship since we was still messing around when he got with the girl so I let my anger get the best out of me and completely went off on him and cut him off. It’s been 5 months and I been hearing how he drop out of college he’s been making poor decisions I heard he’s new relationship toxic and he became someone else I still care about him and it hurts me to see what he’s doing because we talked about our dreams and worked hard together and now he’s throwing everything for a girl I would talk to him but since he has a girlfriend I don’t wanna make them think I want him back I just feel worried as a friend and I been sad about it I know I need to let go of him and the idea of who he pretended to be but it’s hard I just our mutual friend to talk to him since I can’t. It seems like after me he’s behavior went down hill and his decisions I been feeling really sad about it
Casey
October 7, 2019 at 10:28 am
My boyfriend and I had been together over 2years. He had been saying he needed to figure out what he wanted and that he needed to work through some stuff in our last couple of months together. We broke up and a week later we went to return each other’s stuff and I knew something was a miss. I managed to get him to finally fess up and as it turned out he had already been with another girl. He had been texting and hanging out with the girl in the months he had said he didn’t know he wanted. He is with this person but I don’t recognize him. Could he have been pretending for 2years? So many things he said he wasn’t interested in and he disliked are now what he is involved with. And he’s even become quite cruel but apologises for it? He set some rules when we broke up and I agreed but he’s broken all of them. I don’t know if I should be worried or get my head examined. I genuinely thought this person was my forever person. I’ve had relationships but feelings with him hit like a freight train. Also when we broke up he did say about the possibility of getting back together in the future even if we had partners in between? So confused.
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
October 7, 2019 at 11:40 am
Hey Casey, so the “possible” get back together even if ‘we’ have other partners between is him trying to soften the blow of the break up. He wanted the break up and he wanted to cheat so you need to take a step back and go into a NC and work on yourself, heal from what you’ve had to go through during the breakup and then make yourself happy. Find your happy place while single. Work on being Ungettable Girl and then from there you can start the being there method on your ex if you decide you want him back. As for him doin things that he isnt interested in when he was with you, at this point he is just doing it to impress the new girl and convince himself that he likes it because she does. This will slow down eventually when he shows who he really is. You can’t lie about who you are for a two year relationship.
I also HIGHLY recommend you date casually, just getting to know some people. Im not saying get into a new relationship just spend some time with new guys and see what you do and dont like about other people it will help you even though some dates wont be great you’ll start to learn what you accept and wont in a future partner
Kaylin
June 6, 2019 at 10:52 pm
My ex and I been together for almost 2 years and we been having a lot of fights so we went on a break, then we broke up. 2 days after I ask him for a second chance and he said that we would never get back together, because it puts more harm in the relationship. Two weeks later he is already in another relationship. Is it a rebound? And will he come back?
Chris Seiter
June 6, 2019 at 11:49 pm
It does have the trappings of a rebound. You should consider No contact and getting up to speed on the entire ex recovery process. My website is a great resource or consider my Program which dives into lots of details.
Kalel
May 1, 2018 at 1:03 pm
Hi, first serious relationship here. About a year and a half and basically; i always had more power in the relationship, which made him feel insecure and clingy. i pushed him away when things started becoming stressful in my life. he asked for a break and tried to get me back, but i was too emotional over other problems. about 2 weeks later, he encountered some stressful life situations of his own, so he broke things off with me over text and asked to be friends, saying he cant sustain a relationship and needs to focus on his studies. i understood that and was willing to stick by his side as his best friend. However, i’ve found out recently that he’s been acting like a real jerk when im not around. he discussed our breakup with all our mutual friends, even people he wasnt close to. basically making sure everyone believe he’s the victim, that i did him wrong and deserve to have my heart broken. many friends believe this and seem to take pity on me, which is a big no in my book. according to some friends, hes acting like our relationship never existed, showing everyone that he’s having fun and is showing signs of finding a rebound. he started hanging out with a group of people who make questionable choices like drinking, drugs and prostitution. he is young, comes from a troubled family, and now is surrounded by disingenuous friends. i failed at no contact because i wanted him to know that im there for him through tough times, but i realize that could have been a mistake. i dont want to perpetuate the image of a desperate ex like his ego wants me to be, so im beginning NC. i believe these are temporary changes, as he as a history of not being able to handle emotions and being rash when confronted with stress, but really worry for his well being. to be honest however a big part of me is also tired of being hurt by his out of characterness. i know the biggest likelihood is that i’ll have to let him go forth and learn by making these dumb choices, so is there any advice you have on keeping a level head while witnessing or hearing about him being a jerk? it might sound naive but i have faith in believing he’s a good person, i believe good people make bad choices.
Chris Seiter
May 1, 2018 at 4:43 pm
I agree Kalel….good people do make bad choices…but they can learn from them. I agree he is acting like a bad boy right now. I think beginning NC was a good choice. I hope you picked up my ebook, “Ex Boyfriend Recovery Pro” (go to website Menu/Products link for details!) as it serves as a comprehensive breakup guide. There are various things you can do to optimize your chances while in your NC period. Your own self healing is really important and I cover that. You also should consider joining my Private Facebook Support Group Community (has about 1500 women now in it). Lots of synergy and people helping people. I do weekly Facebook lives with the Group. Let me know how things go Kalel
Amera
April 6, 2018 at 8:03 pm
My ex is getting married.And he sended invitation card to me.should I attend it?? confused.
Jennifer Seiter
April 7, 2018 at 2:57 am
That’s really strange. No I don’t think you should go to his wedding. If you want him back you can text or call him and talk to him about the invitation and find out if he really wants to get married and why he sent you the invitation.