Today I’d like to talk about the one behavior that your ex can’t seem to resist.

Achieve this one behavior and you’ll dramatically raise the chances of them reaching out and showing interest.

(I can’t guarantee they’ll come back. No one can but I can guarantee if you do this they’ll show interest.)

So, what is this special behavior?

Well, let me prime this discussion a bit.

As you know, starting in 2020 I really started leaning heavily on success story interviews. Specifically I became interested in what was actually working for real life people. What was it that they were doing that caused them to be irresistible to their exes?

If you’ve read any of my earlier articles or watched any of my older videos you’d know that the conclusion I came to is that they were able to achieve this mentality where they didn’t care if they got them back or not. In other words, they were able to outgrow their exes.

So, that’s the key, right?

Outgrow your ex and you’ll be golden.

Well…

What if I were to tell you there’s more to it. That we should actually dig deeper.

That’s what I’m going to be focusing on today.

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The Focus Factor

You always hear me talk about the importance of outgrowing an ex but what does that actually mean?

Does that mean you are letting them go?

Not necessarily.

Does that mean you are forgetting about them?

Definitely not.

So, what’s this magical thing to outgrowing an ex. Well, I think it revolves around your focus. For the first time in arguably a long time you aren’t completely focused on them. You begin to focus on yourself. Cliche, I know but hear me out.

One of the things I noticed from the success stories is that they seemed to be incredible at using focus that they used to have reserved for an ex for themselves and with that focus they were able to achieve incredible things. That’s the hidden layer of this entire puzzle that no one seems to talk about.

It’s not just about outgrowing an ex that makes them fawn over you.

It’s about what you do with that time when you are outgrowing them.

All of the time, energy and emotions invested into them have now been freed up to invest into yourself and with that level of focus, you should be capable of doing something that they themselves aren’t capable of.

THIS is the behavior that I’ve yet to see exes resist.

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When they see how brightly you are shining without them they become drawn to you the same way the planets revolve around the sun.

But first a story.

You Doing/Accomplishing Something They Aren’t Capable Of

I’m going to start this discussion with a real life scenario that happened in my life with two of my exes.

1. One ex, who did absolutely nothing noteworthy with her time apart from me
2. Another who did

And how I reacted to these two women tells you everything you need to know about how important your time is after a breakup.

So, let’s start with ex number one.

Ex number one

• My first real relationship
• It lasted for about 9 months
• I broke up with her
• I was definitely not perfect, allowing my jealousy to take precedence
• We fought every day
• Not a great relationship

We actually didn’t talk after the breakup for about a month. The only time we did talk was after a hurricane hit our hometown. She reached out to see if I was ok. In the months that followed this interaction I didn’t really regret my decision to break up with her. She seemed to simply move on with her life (which is fine) and I moved on with mine.

I followed her on Facebook but after a while I got so sick of seeing updates that I decided to block her just so I could move past the relationship.

That’s ex number one. Typical breakup, right?

Well, let’s take a look at ex number two.

Ex number two

• College relationship
• Lasted for about a month
• Again, I broke up with her
• My reasoning was that I thought I could do better than her
• Not much fighting
• She was nice in the breakup

Ex number two here is a far more interesting breakup case. All throughout our relationship she had a dream of making the college volleyball team. She wasn’t particularly tall but she was quick. Unfortunately, after walking on to our local community college she failed the tryout and was sent home.

Then I break up with her…

I know…

Pretty bad of me but I promise it had no correlation to the volleyball thing. I simply felt that my connection with her wasn’t as strong as it could be with someone else.

Anyways, fast-forward about a year and I run into her walking to a different class. We are cordial but I am stunned at how different she looked. It was like she was an entirely different person. Twice as fit, twice as confident, surrounded by other women, volleyball women.

And they were looking up to her. Almost like she was leading the pack.

I go home and look her up on Facebook only to find out that she’s made the volleyball team and has been named one of its captains. I’m stunned and reach out to her. For the first time since knowing her I feel intimidated. Like I’m actually nervous if she’ll respond.

She didn’t.

BUT the lesson is there plain as day.

You have one ex who sort of just stayed the course of how things were. Didn’t do anything particularly noteworthy with her life and then you have the other ex who did.

And for me that’s the biggest key with breakups.

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If you want to be irresistible to an ex accomplish a goal that they themselves are incapable of accomplishing.

Not only will you garner attention from others but from them as well.

Do you think I can make a volleyball team?

Hell no.

I don’t even know how to keep a ball going back and forth across a net.

But no one talks about this.

And that’s why I’m going to pick a bit on the breakup community here.

The Breakup Community Has Us Focusing On The Wrong Things

The breakup community is kind of dumb in my opinion and I’m not giving myself a pass because I’ve certainly been guilty of promoting the superficial things.

Too often I’ll go to YouTube and see titles like,

Get your ex back in 30 days.

or

Here’s what’s guaranteed to work on an ex.

or

The no contact rule is guaranteed to make an ex miss you.

It’s frustrating because it gives people unrealistic expectations. Even if they don’t watch the video the fact that there’s even a video out there making the claim is enough to make someone believe it’s possible and I absolutely despise it. The only thing that has ever worked for me or my clients is self improvement.

That’s the most important thing you should be doing after a breakup.

You want to know what exes find irresistible.

You accomplishing a feat greater than they thought possible.

That’s what gets attention.

And it becomes a healing mechanism as well. In the pursuit of accomplishing this great feat your life gets put in perspective. The breakup gets put in perspective. You knock your ex down off the pedestal you have them placed on.

But how does one choose a worthwhile feat?

Choosing A Worthwhile Feat To Accomplish

Well, that’s where your magnum opus comes into play.

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But in terms of our program it’s the one thing that intersects the holy trinity.

1. Health
2. Wealth
3. Relationships

What one thing can you do that will positively benefit the three areas of the trinity?

• That will make you healthier in body or mind?
• That will earn you money?
• That will forge new relationships?

Oh, and one other thing.

It’s not easy to accomplish.

Something that could take at least a year to bear fruit but can be transformative in the pursuit?

Engaging in that type of behavior is ultimately what makes exes want to come back. It’s what draws other to you.

All of the other stuff.

Texting correctly.

Social media etiquette.

It pails in comparison to the pursuit of your magnum opus.

And the craziest part is that no one is talking about this because it’s not popular, it’s not sexy but for me there’s nothing better than accomplishing feats that others cannot. There’s nothing that makes me feel more alive in the pursuit. It’s how I know I didn’t waste my time on this earth.

How I know that my life is worth something.

What’s yours?