Should I Wish My Ex A Happy Birthday- The Case For & Against

159 thoughts on ““Can I Text My Ex On His Birthday?” Let’s End This Discussion Right Now”

Birthday Girl

April 18, 2018 at 8:36 pm

Hi EBR,
My ex and I have been broken up for almost 5 months now after a 4 year relationship. After no contact, he reached out to me and we started casually talking before my birthday. He then wished me a “Happy early birthday” the day before, and a couple days later we got into another massive argument which landed us back in no contact, which has just ended. He reached out to me again, I responded with a short, positive response and left it at that. Now his birthday is in a few days and I am wondering if I should message him a happy birthday, if I should send him the same low effort “happy early birthday” he sent me, if I should wait til it has passed and message him “happy belated” asking how it was, or if I just shouldn’t message him at all.
I have done a lot of work to feel better about myself since our break-up, especially because he has been quite nasty over the course of the few months. Would not messaging him make it seem like I’ve moved on and freak him out, or should I try to connect with him by being nice?
Thanks in advance!

Chris Seiter

April 18, 2018 at 9:55 pm

Hi there Birthday Girl. I love your moniker! 4 years is a good amount of time as it gives some roots to the relationship. Yes, I think a little birthday wish would be OK. The aim here is to keep communications positive and move forward slowly, repairing the damage…almost like you are dating for the first time. Good job on working on “You”! That is important. If you need a comprehensive game plan, that consider any of my core ebooks (Menu/Products link). There are some other resources there as well! Its a good thing to have a blueprint of what to do, when, how, etc. And trust me, my books are lengthy! Let me know how things turn out.

daisy

February 16, 2018 at 6:48 pm

So what if you’re supposed to go on a trip – we broke up but agreed to still go on the trip. He says he doesn’t love me anymore but he wants to leave me some good memories of him and our relationship. It was a trip for our birthdays because they’re only days apart. It’s his birthday today and I have this video we took earlier this year that I said I would send on his birthday. Would it bring him a happy memory? He knows I want to go on the trip so I’m assuming he knows I still have feelings. Should I not go on the trip? But I feel like if I don”t I’ll never see him or talk to him because he doesn’t believe in opposite sex friendships.

EBR Team Member: Amor

February 19, 2018 at 12:52 pm

Hi Daisy,

When is the trip?

jennifer

January 4, 2018 at 11:42 am

hey!
My bf of 4 months was distant then ok again then he whats app texted “i decided to freeze our relationship and spend time apart. I am not in a good place right now, my work and programme is too much to handle and I cant have a relationship with you at the moment. Take care, let me know if you need anything”. I simply said “I understand however I would prefer if you had said that to my face. Take care have fun kisses”. Immediately I started nc and vanished from social medias. Day 11 of nc he texted (whats app) saying happy nameday i ddnt respond, texted again via text this time day 14 saying happy name day again i send you three days ago wishes via w.a. kisses, ddnt reply either. There are stil 10 day to complete the 30 day nc. What should I do?

EBR Team Member: Amor

January 5, 2018 at 11:07 pm

Hi Jennifer,

be active in posting in social media.. Do posts that don’t disappear after 24 hours and are you actively improving yourself?

Luna

January 2, 2018 at 7:21 pm

Hi Amor

You are right – but when he wished me saying happy new year and then asked how kids are.

I usually don’t reply for a while but I feel when he asks about kids in general I don’t like to ignore him.

I was actually so busy with holiday activities that I only replied a day later so I said ‘To you too and kids are well’.

I didn’t actually want to say happy new year to you because to be honest I don’t want to be wishing him happy new year coz I feel so hurt but I simply sort of said it back to him without saying so actually as you can see in my wording.

I have been posting but there are two issues – he doesn’t have Instagram and on Facebook while we are still friends I have noticed I definitely can’t see his past posts which I could before – now I can only see my posts to his wall i made in the past. Which means he has restricted me from seeing any of his future posts but I don’t know if by limiting me that means Facebook automatically does the same thing back (maybe he can’t follow me either)?

I was upset it’s clear he changed his relationship status too I felt he didn’t have to be public about it but I can’t tell him to restrict that status either as hell know I have noticed and it bothers me 🙁

EBR Team Member: Amor

January 5, 2018 at 6:48 pm

that’s ok, jut make your posts public because there’s a high chance he will check your accounts.

Lily

January 2, 2018 at 11:33 am

We were in a long distance relationship for 6 years and all of a sudden one fine day he sent me a text message saying day he is breaking up wid me n he didn’t have a reason why n I begged of him to keep giving me a reason n so he told me dat he’s found somebody else which I think he is lying..n in d heat of the moment I started gnatting begging him to take me back..he broke up wid me in aug n for September n Oct I maintained NC..at d end of Oct I initiated a conversation n he told me at his 4th send going on n any campus interviews after day see was no msg from him..den on Nov 15 I broke down again n startd gnattin by he said things were over between us..on Nov 27 I wished him for his exams n he said thx after dat see was no reply..was thinking of wishing him 4 Xmas by few days but 25th he blocked me on WhatsApp..Duno y so I dint text him neither did I for new yr..it’s his best on 3rd Jan..should I wish him??? I was thinking of sending him a nostalgic mail reminiscing all our memories

EBR Team Member: Amor

January 5, 2018 at 6:32 pm

Hi Lily,

nope,, he already blocked you.. that would be chasing.

Lily

January 2, 2018 at 11:30 am

Create a note
‌We were in a long distance relationship for 6 years and all of a sudden one fine day he sent me a text message saying day he is breaking up wid me n he didn’t have a reason why n I begged of him to keep giving me a reason n so he told me dat he’s found somebody else which I think he is lying..n in d heat of the moment I started gnatting begging him to take me back..he broke up wid me in aug n for September n Oct I maintained NC..at d end of Oct I initiated a conversation n he told me at his 4th send going on n any campus interviews after day see was no msg from him..den on Nov 15 I broke down again n startd gnattin by he said things were over between us..on Nov 27 I wished him for his exams n he said thx after dat see was no reply..was thinking of wishing him 4 Xmas by few days but 25th he blocked me on WhatsApp..Duno y so I dint text him neither did I for new yr..it’s his best on 3rd Jan..should I wish him??? I was thinking of sending him a nostalgic mail reminiscing all our memories
Luna

January 1, 2018 at 6:31 am

Hi Amor

No i did not greet him – but what if he greets me? Do I still ignore it? It’s so hard I hate ignoring people or giving people impression I am ignoring them – it just doesn’t feel right 🙁

EBR Team Member: Amor

January 2, 2018 at 6:43 pm

And yet he doesn’t feel wrong by spending the holidays away from his kids.. That’s was an opportunity for you to post pictures of you and the kids and the meals and your activities and then ignoring his messages.. Once he sees the pics, he’ll realize that you were busy making the holiday fun for the family while he chose not be a part of it..

Lola

December 30, 2017 at 5:50 pm

I broke up with my boyfriend about 4 months ago. After not talking at all for a couple months, we met for ice cream and to catch up. I have a feeling he was trying to see if there was a chance to get back together, but I am not interested in him in that way anymore at all. I have been happily dating someone else. We haven’t spoken since we hung out 2 months ago, but his birthday is in a few days. I honestly don’t see us ever becoming friends, but I would hate it if I hurt his feelings by not wishing him a happy birthday. Do you think I should text him on his birthday, or just let it be? He’s one of those people whose birthday is a big deal to them. I don’t want him to think I don’t care about him at all anymore, but I also don’t want him to think there’s a chance we’d get back together and wishing him a happy birthday after dead silence for a couple months kinda seems like I’m fishing. What do you suggest I do?

EBR Team Member: Amor

December 31, 2017 at 10:41 pm

Hi Lola,

Nope.. Let him move on..

Luna

December 29, 2017 at 8:28 pm

Hi Amor

Thanks I guess i kind of know the principles but hard to apply :(. Also does same go for New Year’s Eve? I don’t want to send him a happy new year because he put me through emotional turmoil all year instituting our separation and pending divorce – I don’t want to wish him – but I don’t know if by being indifferent and not wishing him will make him think I’m being all immature and avoiding him? But I guess you will tell me that he won’t because if he’s being indifferent towards me he’s expecting the same of me?

EBR Team Member: Amor

December 31, 2017 at 9:17 pm

Yup, I hope you didn’t greet him.

Luna

December 24, 2017 at 7:22 pm

Thanks Amor

And I’m with kids on holiday and I’m so heart sore he’s taking a holiday on his own to some exotic beach place 🙁 and to a place we have been 3x before we had kids because it was his favorite ;(

So he will call to greet me and kids before he goes – I guess I shouldn’t even act all so envious he’s going ? Or that we will miss him coz we also on holiday on our own in a nice place should I not even say that because saying that will give him the idea I want to make him feel guilty and am not moving on? Am I right here?

Sometimes I think saying such things will make him realize he still has a woman who loves him and is devoted to him but I guess an ex only sees it as clingy?

EBR Team Member: Amor

December 26, 2017 at 8:04 pm

That’s right..just be indifferent

Luna

December 14, 2017 at 11:51 am

Can you please also post the link for how to get your ex Husband back post ? I am struggling to find it and would like to read the article again?

Thanks

EBR Team Member: Amor

December 15, 2017 at 4:27 pm

yup, it also applies with anniversaries.. here it is:
The Definitive Guide On Getting Your Ex Husband Back

Luna

December 14, 2017 at 11:50 am

Hi Chris

I guess even if we are in limited NC with ex the same would apply to wishing happy anniversary right? Coz if you ex is your ex Husband and it’s the date for your first anniversary apart there’s a lot of pain and hurt I’m guessing I should just ignore the date, feel sad he’s left me and just don’t think too much of the day ? I suppose he won’t even be thinking about our special wedding day either 🙁
Dianna

December 1, 2017 at 8:15 am

It’s been 4 months since me and my ex broke up and we never talked ever since. He broke up with me because he wants me to take chances again with my ex husband (we have kids) since the ex husband won’t stop threatening us for some reasons he can’t move on with me.

Now, his birthday is nearing, should I still greet him? Though I am not expecting a reply, I really wish him to have a happy birthday and that he’s okay always.

EBR Team Member: Amor

December 4, 2017 at 6:01 am

Hi Dianna,

Did you go to the police?

Sam

December 1, 2017 at 2:40 am

Hey Chris,

So it’s been over 5 weeks of NC with this guy that I was in an unofficial relationship with for over 6 months. He ended it with the generic “you were a great partner and awesome friend but I can’t see a future with you right now,” and the last month of the relationship was rather a platonic one. Our birthdays are coming up and they’re four days apart (awesome right???). I’m clearly not where I want to be after 30 days NC, still confused/lost on whether I want to pursue a friendship with the guy or cut off all ties and move on, but I feel like I should be the better person and wish him a happy birthday regardless. What are your thoughts?

EBR Team Member: Amor

December 4, 2017 at 4:32 am

Hi Sam,

Since it’s been 5 weeks, you can do that to start slowly building rapport

Sara

November 6, 2017 at 2:46 am

Hi. On day 3 he texted “hi”and I ignored him. Today is day 6 and he texted ” are you going to stay mad at me”. He thinks I’m mad at him and that is why I haven’t replied to his texts. What should I do?

EBR Team Member: Amor

November 6, 2017 at 8:11 pm

HI Sara,

when and why did you break up? How long was the relationship?

Nia

October 23, 2017 at 7:20 am

Hi Chris…
Me and my boyfriend having break because we have big problem and we agree to have a break for a month to think about what we really want in our realtionship. It’s been a week we having a break with no contact at all and in 4 days is his birthday, should I wish him happy birthday?
Thanks

EBR Team Member: Amor

October 24, 2017 at 4:55 pm

Hi Nia,

It’s not a no contact period because it’s an agreement of not talking to each other between the both you.. He’s not suppose to know that you’re doing nc.. But even if it’s like that, you shouldn’t greet him..

Sofie

October 16, 2017 at 5:25 am

Ok how about on and off relationships ?
I have done the Nc rule before and it worked.
Now we are going through breakup number 4. His birthday is in few days. By the time of his birthday it will be 1 month of successful no contact.

I was thinking of actually sending a very thoughtful gift that means a lot to him. But send no text message. So basically just arrange to have the gift delivered and thats it.

Question: Do i break the no contact rule by sending a gift? ( i know i will receive a message from him and planning not to reply)

Question 2: will my move of sending a very thoughful gift show that i am very desperate and available ?

Thank you

EBR Team Member: Amor

October 16, 2017 at 11:30 pm

Hi Sofie,

Don’t send a gift nor greet him and extend to 45 days..

Arya

October 13, 2017 at 7:15 pm

Hi Amor,

Thanks for your reply. I somehow got through the day and did not respond to his text. I hope i did the right thing. Now should i contact him only after the NC period??

EBR Team Member: Amor

October 14, 2017 at 10:52 am

Yes, only after nc

Arya

October 13, 2017 at 5:51 am

Hi EBR Team,

My situation is reversed. It’s my birthday today and my ex wished me but I’m on the 16th day of No Contact. He dumped me around two weeks back. Should i respond back? I’m quite resolved to complete my nc period actually. I’d like your opinion please. Please help me, thanks.

EBR Team Member: Amor

October 13, 2017 at 6:00 pm

Hi Arya,
I hope you didn’t..

Arya

October 12, 2017 at 9:21 pm

Hi Chris, my ex wished me a happy birthday but I’m on the 16th day of No Contact. He dumped me around 2weeks back. Should i respond with a thanks? I’m quite resolved to complete my nc actually but I’d like your opinion. Please help me, thanks

EBR Team Member: Amor

October 13, 2017 at 5:59 pm

Hi Arya,
I hope you didn’t..

« Previous 1 2 3 4 5 Next »

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

159 thoughts on ““Can I Text My Ex On His Birthday?” Let’s End This Discussion Right Now”