Mistakes Women Make When Trying To Get An Ex Boyfriend Back

542 thoughts on “Common Mistakes Women Make When Trying To Get An Ex Boyfriend Back”

Madison

July 18, 2017 at 9:48 pm

Hey! My ex broke up with me in 2015 and we reconnected in the summer of 2016. He reached out telling me all the things I wanted to hear. How he missed me and how beautiful I was. I didn’t fall for it. We went out and hung out many times. Eventually we ended up sleeping together (biggest mistake) because I started catching feelings. I didn’t let him know. It’s been a year since we have been basically friends with benefits. Recently I joinkingly posted something on my IG that made him think he thought we were together. He got upset and said don’t waste my time with him. He’s been really distant. He’s been distant before but always comes around. I started no contact for a week now. How long should I do it for?

EBR Team Member: Amor

July 18, 2017 at 10:24 pm

do at least 45 days.

Bee

July 13, 2017 at 9:16 pm

I just implied the no contact rule after breaking up with my boyfriend of 3 yrs . Afterwards he put all the blame on me , told me he loved me then said he didnt , he also was viscious with his words . It has only been 5 days of no contact and he has been texting me with apologizing and that he understands we both need to move on . Now he started sexting me . Although i love him and miss him i am still angry at his words but dont want to lose him by not responding but i also dont want to be used for sex . Is that why he is sexting me ? What do i do ? Im not so convinved nc will bring him back . Im afraid he will move on to someone else and will forget about me after not responding . I need help !!

EBR Team Member: Amor

July 14, 2017 at 6:57 pm

If you don’t want to be treated that way, don’t allow it.. What you allow, you get.. If you really want to be treated a different way, don’t engage in activities that you dont want to experience.. Nc is more for you, not for your ex.. It’s for you to heal, improve and be more rational before slowly rebuilding rapport..

Sarah

July 5, 2017 at 9:39 pm

My boyfriend broke up with me a few days ago. We were together for just a little over a year, but we loved each other very much. I’ve always had a problem of expecting too much from people, and getting upset if they don’t live up to my expectations. I know I need to fix this. He wasn’t perfect by any means, but he tried so hard to make me happy, and was constantly being nagged by me. Like I said, I know I have to work on this, not just for him, but myself so that I’m happier in life. He told me he’d be open to trying things again in the future if the timing is right. I am using this time to improve myself, I’ve started meditating already and am looking into meeting with a counselor about my issues. I had sent him an email after we broke up telling him how much I love him, and that I can’t wait to get better so we can possibly try again. He never responded. I’ve started NC, hoping this will work. But I’m worried my crazy behavior and constant nagging will always be what he remembers about our relationship. Besides NC and working on improving myself, do you suggest anything else?

EBR Team Member: Amor

July 6, 2017 at 7:31 pm

be active in posting in social media, and continue doing that even after nc.

C

June 9, 2017 at 9:43 am

My ex and I were together for over 9 years. One day he left and told me he wasn’t happy, I moved out of our home and he moved back in. We didn’t speak for a few weeks and then he messaged saying he wanted to try again and that he’d made a mistake. We started speaking again and tried to make things work, now he is saying he is not sure and that we are ok without eachother. He has joined dating sites and is cold and distant towards me. I am confused and hurt and I honestly think this time that’s it. Any advice would be a great help.

EBR Team Member: Amor

June 13, 2017 at 6:26 pm

Hi C,

You’re not living together now right? Do you want to try the no contact rule?

R

May 3, 2017 at 8:13 pm

Hi,
After two days of NC I went to our apartment to get some stuff back. My ex came back while i was packing and started hugging and kissing me like crazy, telling me how much he missed me. He started to talk about the reasons why we broke up and I tried to convince him that we could fix them, but he did not let himself convinced. After that he insisted that we should have sex and spend the night together and I told him that I’m not going to do it anymore unless we are in a committed relationship. I told him that I wanted to stay over the night, but not have sex. He became cold and replied that I should do what I want. After a while he changed his mind and said that I should better leave and that maybe we need to spend some time apart to see if we can live without each other.
Is this a good or a bad sign? What should I do now?

EBR Team Member: Amor

May 4, 2017 at 2:36 pm

he missed you.. that’s normal.. that’s a good sign but you need to restart the nc

Suzy

April 29, 2017 at 3:19 am

I was in a relationship with a guy that I met at work, we clicked from the very beginning so we decided to give it a chance. This was also my very first relationship he was my first for everything. We were three months into the relationship and on the last few weeks we hadn’t seen each other outside from work or texted as often as we did in the beginning. I never asked him what was going on because I didn’t want to seem clingy or demanding and I told him so when I confronted him about and he argued as to why I hadn’t asked him the day before when we had seen each other after a long weekend. At the beginning of the relationship i was okay but when we had sex i felt that everything went awkward because i didn’t have any experience and we never actually talked about it. he often told me he wanted me to tell him what i wanted but i didn’t know how to say it. The point is that i didn’t want to mess everything up so i never told him what i wanted and it was hard for me to express my feelings. one day he actually told me that if he had known how hard it was for me to express myself he never would’ve bothered asking me out. I took this very seriously because for the next two days i called and texted him continuously but not all day I just want to talk talk to him. In the end i ended up going to his house without calling him beforehand and after I had asked him if i could go and he said no. he was mad about it and said that was stalking and that the way i was acting would make guys take advantage of me so i asked him for some time-off and he deleted his phone number from my phone. I haven’t talked to him in almost two months but i do see him every once in a while at work but i really like him and i miss him. I want to approach him again but i am afraid of what his reaction might be. How should I do it?

EBR Team Member: Amor

April 30, 2017 at 11:46 am

check this one first:
EBR 032: What To Do If You Work With Your Ex Boyfriend

Lisa

April 19, 2017 at 4:13 am

Been broken up for a little over 2 months now. He keeps messaging me often and he was being sweet, sexual and flirtatious, and it was screwing with my head so I gave him an ultamatum and he responded just now (4 days later) and he sounded very angry cuz he thought it was “harmless talk” and he said he’s “been busy” that’s why he never responded. I felt confident when I said it but no his response make me think I fucked up very bad. I told I’m I was sorry and it was emotionally driven. I said it wouldn’t happen again. I’m so lost, i can’t stop myself from responding to his messages. Everything is driving me crazy

EBR Team Member: Amor

April 25, 2017 at 6:25 pm

If you’ve done the no contact rule do a another one, just 2 weeks.. It looks like your ultimatum wasn’t the problem but your response to his angry text was…because you basically admitted it was an emotional move and then you apologized. That gave all the power back to him

Kelly

April 6, 2017 at 6:02 pm

Hi,
I met a guy on a dating site and for the first couple of months we had a fantastic time, he was everything I ever wanted, I have two children as has he although I only met the younger one the other is 18. He very soon met my children, he turned up at my house unexpectly one night and it couldn’t be avoided. We all got on very well. To cut a long story short he laid the groundwork for a relationship, invited himself on my staff night out, moved clothes into my house, he used to stay every night. Then we had a fight while we were out one night and all of a sudden that was it, he no longer wanted a relationship, he took his things a few days after. Then I text him and he came round to talk he said he wanted to keep seeing each other but wasn’t ready for a relationship, I agreed because I was heartbroken and we continued to see each other whenever we could although I no longer wanted my children involved. Then after a while he called it off again and said he didn’t like me, and he felt I was getting in too deep as he still didn’t want a relationship. I have heard nothing from him for 5 days now and after speaking everyday since the middle of September last year i feel really hurt, he’s said some awful things to me like he doesn’t miss me and doesn’t fancy me. I can’t believe that he can behave like this after being so keen in the beginning, I really want him back but don’t know if it’s possible. What should I do?

EBR Team Member: Amor

April 9, 2017 at 2:56 pm

try at least 30 days nc.. be active ib improving yourself and in posting in social media

Jessie

February 24, 2017 at 5:02 pm

Hi there, need some advice. So my boyfriend and I broke up because of a couple reasons, we’d been together for over 3 years, first real relationship for both of us and moved across the country together about 7 months ago. After the first year of dating, we started having issues, we spent all of our time together and didn’t have much of a life outside of the relationship. He needed space and in retrospect, I didn’t see how needy I was being by taking it personally instead of letting him be, it also really bothered him that I kept letting him know that I would change and didn’t. So after a while of these arguments, he felt like I took him for granted, all he’s done for me and our relationship, and I know I probably did because I just should have given him his space. He’s told me he is 100% done with me and wants to move on, but I just can’t accept that because I know he still loves me and I know after not being with him for about 3 weeks, I can handle giving him that space he needs if we were to try a new relationship. So how do I implement the no contact rule if we live together for another 3.5 months?

EBR Team Member: Amor

February 25, 2017 at 7:49 pm

Hi Jessie,

check this one:
EBR 027: What To Do If You Live With Your Ex Boyfriend

Emily

February 19, 2017 at 9:14 pm

My ex and I dated for 4 months. It was intense and we were very in love, never argued and no issues. He moved back to his hometown due to work, but we were going to make long distance work. I decided I would apply to schools there and I think maybe that but pressure on the relationship. Within 3 weeks of his move, he broke up w me telling me he had lost feelings and that he can’t let me make a school decision based on him. I didn’t beg or anything. Since the day of the break up we haven’t talked, it’s been 4 months no contact, he hasn’t attempted to talk to me either. Just got accepted to school in his town and I am moving there in August. What should I do? I obv still have feelings for him, but I feel if I contact him it’s not going to make him want me again, I feel he has to contact me..

EBR Team Member: Amor

February 21, 2017 at 3:01 pm

Hi Emily,

if you dont get him back, are you still going to there?

Teresa

January 31, 2017 at 4:56 pm

I plan to apply the 30 day rule, but what if he messages me? Should I really just not read it (or “seen” it) and ignore it for 30 days?

EBR Team Member: Amor

February 1, 2017 at 10:24 am

Hi Teresa,

you can read it, just don’t reply.. If you want, use an app like Unseen.

Kacey

January 11, 2017 at 11:08 pm

We have been friends and dated on and off for four years. During much of this time, he lived with someone else. They split, and he moved in with me. After a few months, Things were good, but a little tense sometimes as I have been ready for this for years, and he is still figuring everything out. He.left on Friday, and didn’t call. On Monday after I texted that I was worrted, he answered that he was OK, and at work. The next day, he texted and asked me to bring him something he needed at work. I asked if he would please tell me what is going on, is he leaving or what? He said he did not have time that day, He works two jobs. I got mad, packed his clothes, and dropped that off at work, only leaving a text that it was neatly packed, and by the door. He was so mad, he came and took everything else before I got home. We texted that day, and then I became a crazy text gnat, telling him everything I’ve ever felt but never said, and begging him to come home. I have since texted and left a voicemail apology, saying I am sorry, I completely overreacted, and can’t believe I did that. Nothing from him I in 8 days. I have only NOT tried to call him on two of those days, and not consecutively. What can I do now?

EBR Team Member: Amor

January 13, 2017 at 12:03 pm

Hi Kacey,
so, you’re actually together right? Why did he leave?

Dove

December 30, 2016 at 4:01 pm

I’m 17 years old female and my Ex is 18. We both got into a relationship on 26th of Jan 2016. We were friends at first. Say, best friend. Lately, he proposed me and I replied positive. Days went good. We rocked into each others lives. We were deep in love. But sooner things got rolled out. It was month of April that we started having pin fights and arguments. But it was nevertheless missed. We both always figured out solutions and did fine. Well, he was very much active to save this relationship. And I was happy to see him such patient and mature like. Then, we both decided to take this relationship into a next level. We both decided to have sex. And by the month of June or so we did it. We both were happy enough and were committed and loyal to each other but still the fights and arguments came to never end. And with time he remained annoyed and irritated. He always had problems with me that were never before. We contact less. We no more shared the same bonding like before. But I was still all the same. I loved him with whatever it was. I never fuss. Then after being in relationship for 10months he called me on 26th December and told me he can no longer stay with me. He needs to let go and focus in his future times to come. He gave me too many reasons but none was valid to me. He even blocked me in social sites. I wish I could ask him what it was and why he did that to me.

I tried many-a-times, I called him, texted him but all the times he ignored or shall receive the call and would speak rubbish and never gave a damn. Then it was 27th that I finally called him up and spoke my heart out. I shouted and spoke much sense and bade him a Goodbye. And after I hung over he called me a dozen time that vary night. And on 28th he just rang me ones but I didn’t replied to any of his calls. Since then I’m not talking to him. I read the no contact rule and I do not know if I should take any chances or call him up again asking him and slap him hard.

I do not want him again. But I want him to realize how it feels. He seems so happening and enjoying telling his friends that he is starting new and I was a negative being.

It’s so hard to let go. I still cannot accept whatever it is going on. He is not the same guy anymore. I want a sorry. I want him to realize what he has left out in forgone.

Do reply. Thank you.

EBR Team Member: Amor

December 31, 2016 at 8:31 am

Hi Dove,

check this one:
How To Make Your Ex Boyfriend Regret Letting You Go

Anonymous

December 7, 2016 at 11:26 pm

Hi,

I read your blog and love the advice… I was hoping on getting your thoughts regarding this situation please?

I was dating a guy for a short period of time. We ended it on good terms. He had just gotten out of an 8 year relationship roughly 4 months prior, he’s only 26 so really hasn’t had the chance to be by himself… We had a great connection, got along so well and did genuinely really like each other. He was a little overwhelmed by how him and i connected and i believe is a little confused, unsure and scared and is just not ready for a new relationship so soon which i can understand…

We went our seperate ways so he could focus on him and just him and i could do the same. We ran back into each other 4 days later…. He saw me sitting at a bus stop (we live in the same area) He was really happy to see me and spent the day together… We flirted, laughed and had fun but i did not let anything physical happen… We then went our seperate ways again…

Neither of us have contacted each other….

Then, 2 weeks later (3 days ago) i heard from him… We caught up that same day hung out and had fun…. We did make out but did not sleep together.

I am concerned i have become his rebound or was i already? Or just a buffer when he is lonely… Any suggestions on what i can do? I am interested in the guy but would be interested in taking it seriously slow and understand i would need to be super patient with this one….

Thanks 😀

EBR Team Member: Amor

December 11, 2016 at 7:18 pm

Hi Anonymous,

how short was short?do you want to try the no contact rule?

Sarah

November 26, 2016 at 9:47 pm

Hi, my ex boyfriend broke up with me a little more then a week ago… I begged I cried I promised I showed up to his work… for a whole week I was begging him then we decided to be friends but it was too painful for me to see that he has no feelings for me left so I sent him a messege saying that I realized I don’t want this either just cause I know reverse psychology works on him and I decided to start the NC rule from yesterday after that message. Do I even have a chance of getting him back after that text message?

EBR Team Member: Amor

November 28, 2016 at 12:15 pm

HI Sarah,

why did you break up? How long were you together? And the no contact rule is not just about ignoring him. You have to improve yourself.

Karen

November 23, 2016 at 9:29 pm

Just some backstory to the last comment… the break up was due to neither of us being ready to get married—we were engaged and he called off the wedding 2 weeks prior (he called it a ‘postponement’)… we eventually called the whole thing off, which resulted in this current split. He has also been recovering from a broken collarbone that happened September 4th. He is 67 and I am 56 years of age. We both come from previous long marriages (him-29 years and me-25 years)…
Karen

November 23, 2016 at 4:49 pm

I am on day 23 of the no contact. I have not texted, called, dropped by or FB stalked. The end of the 30 day no contact will end at the end of this month. I would like to invite him to my writers’ group x-mas party. Over the past 3 years, we’ve gone together. This year the host had a whole house renovation done–the house is bigger now and they have invited me via FB. It allows me to send an invitation to him. Should I? Or if I do, should I wait till the 1st of December to send it. If he doesn’t respond, I won’t pursue it. We broke up in September and I did contact him multiple times begging and pleading and even dropped by–it was then that I realized that he was erasing me from his life—he told me several things… ‘that we needed time apart and then we would see where things go’ (hopeful); when I asked if it was final, he said, ‘never say never, we don’t know what the future holds for either of us’ (hopeful); ‘there is always hope’ (still hopeful), and finally, ‘we might get back together…’ (really hopeful)… so, I decided to give him time apart and do the no contact rule…in the meantime, I’ve been working on myself and I’m on day 23 and I’m feeling better than I did when I started. I also want to show that I’m in control and want to become the person he fell in love with in the beginning. I didn’t like the person I had become–needy, desperate and I’m sure (obviously) he didn’t either. So far, he hasn’t unfriended me on FB. I am waiting (hopefully) for him to contact me–when he feels he’s ready. But this x-mas party invitation has come up and I would like to know should I send the invite (via FB) –of course after the 1st of December (after 30 day no contact) or not do it at all and just wait…?

EBR Team Member: Amor

November 26, 2016 at 10:28 am

Hi Karen,

talk first, if there’s rapport, invite him.

KD

November 23, 2016 at 4:47 pm

I am on day 23 of the no contact. I have not texted, called, dropped by or FB stalked. The end of the 30 day no contact will end at the end of this month. I would like to invite him to my writers’ group x-mas party. Over the past 3 years, we’ve gone together. This year the host had a whole house renovation done–the house is bigger now and they have invited me via FB. It allows me to send an invitation to him. Should I? Or if I do, should I wait till the 1st of December to send it. If he doesn’t respond, I won’t pursue it. We broke up in September and I did contact him multiple times begging and pleading and even dropped by–it was then that I realized that he was erasing me from his life—he told me several things… ‘that we needed time apart and then we would see where things go’ (hopeful); when I asked if it was final, he said, ‘never say never, we don’t know what the future holds for either of us’ (hopeful); ‘there is always hope’ (still hopeful), and finally, ‘we might get back together…’ (really hopeful)… so, I decided to give him time apart and do the no contact rule…in the meantime, I’ve been working on myself and I’m on day 23 and I’m feeling better than I did when I started. I also want to show that I’m in control and want to become the person he fell in love with in the beginning. I didn’t like the person I had become–needy, desperate and I’m sure (obviously) he didn’t either. So far, he hasn’t unfriended me on FB. I am waiting (hopefully) for him to contact me–when he feels he’s ready. But this x-mas party invitation has come up and I would like to know should I send the invite (via FB) –of course after the 1st of December (after 30 day no contact) or not do it at all and just wait…?

EBR Team Member: Amor

November 26, 2016 at 10:27 am

HI Kd,

talk first, if there’s rapport, invite him.

Camerin

November 15, 2016 at 2:30 am

What do I do if we still live together? We have been broken up less than a week, but before that we were engaged and together 3.5 years. Since the break up he has made a Tinder, kik, snapchat, POF, etc. He also lost his trust in me, even though what I did was meant to help. He can’t afford to move out, so I don’t know what to do…

EBR Team Member: Amor

November 15, 2016 at 11:50 am

HI Camerin,

chech this one:
EBR 027: What To Do If You Live With Your Ex Boyfriend

Anonymous

November 13, 2016 at 11:40 pm

My bf and I were friends for about 6 years before we started dating. We went through the talking stage which lasted about six months then finally made it official in September 2016. Things were going great, I believe he is the love of my life. I went to a Halloween party and got too drunk. My bf didn’t come with me. I vaguely remember having a conversation with some guy at the party then he leaned in and kissed me. Yes I did kiss him back, the whole thing probably lasted less than a minute. I remember pushing him off and walking away to get another drink which later turned into me blacking out. The next day I don’t remember anything and things are ok, only I go to call my bf and he doesn’t answer. I text him and nothing. A whole week goes by before he sends a message that says “someone told me something I really hope isn’t true. I have to ask you face to face, maybe we can meet tomorrow”. At this point I’m livid that he made me wait so long and I had no idea what he was talking about. I called my friend up and she reminded me about the kiss. And so we assumed in that moment that he knew. I replied back to the message and said ok name the time and the place. He never did. Later on that day I sent another message, something along the lines of can you please just tell me what it is. No reply. The next day I sent an angry text saying that I felt like he was playing games and that i was done with the back and forth. I told him he knew where to find me if he wanted to be a mature adult and talk about it. That was on Monday. I heard nothing back. On Thursday I sent a tell all message that basically stated I knew that he knew about the kiss but he should let me explain myself. Nothing. On Saturday I sent my final text message. I told him the whole story and explained how I was drunk and that it meant nothing. I asked him please to not throw away a 6 year friendship/relationship over a stupid kiss. I told him that I loved him but I could only take his silence to mean he was through with me so I told him that would be the last time I try and contact him. That was yesterday so I’m trying out the no contact rule. So far its day one and I’m miserable. I have no idea how to fix things and the worst part is his silence. I’m not sure what it means, at least have the decency to physically say we’re over

EBR Team Member: Amor

November 15, 2016 at 5:44 pm

Hi Anonymous,

yeah, it’s more probably that he knew about the kiss but, we can’t jump to conclusions, because he might be just waiting for you to admit something he doesn’t know yet. Right now, do you want to do the no contact rule?

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542 thoughts on “Common Mistakes Women Make When Trying To Get An Ex Boyfriend Back”