Desperation 101- How To Get Your Boyfriend Back Without Looking Desperate

481 thoughts on “Desperation 101- How To Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back Without Looking Desperate”

Aniko

May 3, 2014 at 10:48 pm

Hey Chris 🙂
I have written several comments to your site, and i can’t say thank you enough for your replies 🙂 but this time i really make it short. Facts: we broke up nearly 2 months ago, i didn’t beg, i did nc, he did manipulative things nearly every day, i initiated contact after 3-4 weeks, he responded well. But then out of the blue his friends told him something about me, that i’m freaked out ( i was right after the breakup..), so when i initiated contact, he said we shouldn’t keep contact for a period of time, because I AM NOT WELL – however i was! But he didn’t want to believe me, maybe because it was him, who was freaked out… doesn’t matter. I’ve got only one question for you:
What do you think, what is the BEST reaction, if we call our ex on phone, we ask them for a meeting to catch up, and they say “YOU KNOW I WON’T CHANGE MY MIND” ?
Just because it’s his style, when we first broke up, and i called him after 3 days , he just kept saying this, even when we met, but after a 20-minute talk he finally admitted that he can’t live without me.. but this time i don’t want to convince him, i just want to spend some good time with him 🙁 but maybe this is only a dream in my head..

admin

May 6, 2014 at 6:58 pm

I think you should call your ex and really work on building rapport with them first before you ask them out.

Tay

May 3, 2014 at 9:52 pm

Hey Chris so my ex boyfriends friend invited me to a party which my ex is going to be attending quite weird right? And I only recently became friends with this guy. Anyways I wanted advice on what to do at this party when I see him there, and do you think it’s unusual this guy invited me to this party? Do you think there’s any reason behind it.. Thanks

admin

May 6, 2014 at 6:56 pm

You act like everythings perfect. Be nice, friendly but a little short.

Sally

May 3, 2014 at 5:03 pm

Hey chris,
My ex and I broke up in jan. initially we agreed on being friends since we need to meet each other on a daily basis. after that I kept sending him messages and emails until he got so angry he starts to ignore me and he wanted to block me from everything. So I waited one week of NC and I send him a long email telling him I AM SORRY and that I understand that we should both let go and move on. He replied me through message and told me he was angry and he hated me but now he forgave me and wish me all the best in my future.

I thought that’s the end of us, but few days later, it was his birthday. I thought I should just leave him alone, so I didn’t wish him. At night, he message me asking why I didn’t wish him for his birthday. I replied him that we should stay out of each other’s life. But he said we can try being best friends if i promised we will remain just best friends forever. So I agree. When I ask for him help recently, he helped me. He even want to work together with me.

What does all his action mean? Do I still have a chance or should I just move on and remain his best friend?

Now that we need to work on a project together for a year, he admit that he wasn’t that happy and he said that it is still awkward between us. What should I do now?

admin

May 6, 2014 at 6:56 pm

It means he wanted to feel wanted by you and it drove him up the wall when he didn’t get what he wanted.
Sally

May 8, 2014 at 3:57 pm

So what should I do now? Do I still have a chance to get him back?
Sally

May 16, 2014 at 8:22 am

Chris, still waiting for ur response. Please help me out :). I don’t now what should I do. We broke up because he said that I don’t love him as much as he love me.
admin

May 20, 2014 at 6:54 pm

Are you kidding me? He actually said that to you???

What did you say to him when he said that?

Kelly

May 3, 2014 at 1:36 pm

Your guides are really great so don’t feel bad about them. My friends think I’m a relationship expert just because I’ve read this stuff. You’re doing great!

But… If you want to post new information you should write something about turning the break up conversation around, when he says “I think we should talk” and you know if you don’t play your cards right you’re gonna be single in a few hours. I think that would be really helpful information just to know.

admin

May 6, 2014 at 6:54 pm

Thats an interesting topic.

Seriously!

Jesse

May 2, 2014 at 10:39 pm

I’m sorry this is extremely long although it’s quite interesting!

My ex broke up with me after a 1 year relationship about 4-5 months ago because of lost feelings. Only two months after he told our mutual friend that he broke up because I was flirting with his ex best friend (he was extremely upset when I told him about it, crying, getting info from others, etc.) but he was too embarrassed to tell anyone. In the beginning of the breakup he was very jealous and whiny at parties, but would try and make small talk which always ended up in huge fights. We both acquired rebounds. Mine was a tourist, so when he left I got over him, but my ex was extremely jealous. He saw us at a party and stared me down and kept approaching me. He kept saying that this guy was ugly and I could do better, but I told my ex I was single now, so he shut up. My ex was back and forth with girls he’d talk to for a few weeks. He met a few in person and always said that they were weird. He told our mutual friend that he was just looking for affection from these girls. Eventually he opened up to our friend and said that he missed me but tries to convince himself he doesn’t and that when things calm down we might get back together. We went to dinner together 1-2 months ago, and he kissed me, told me he loved me as a friend, and that he wanted me in his life. He even agreed a few days after the dinner to go on a double date with my friend and his friend, and me as his partner (this date never happened). We got into more fights and he blocked me on Facebook, but then added me back a day later, with a new emotional status. Then he un-followed me on Instagram saying that my pictures remind him of certain memories he’d rather not be reminded of to avoid getting sad. I then figured out that for a few days after summer when we were together, my ex was sending/receiving snapchats of nudes of a girl we know but he doesn’t talk to anymore. I confronted him and he said that he felt bad and didn’t like her and had told her to stop after a while, but he didn’t tell me to avoid hurting me. He said he didn’t care if I knew the truth now, even though I knew parts of his story were lies. He told me that the reason he broke up with me was not because of me flirting with the guy (so he doesn’t sound like a hypocrite). Recently we got into another fight and soon after he started a conversation with me and went to tell our friend about it. He seemed extremely proud that we were getting along. Then we got into another fight and he blocked me on Facebook, telling our friend that he felt bad and would unblock me soon. Then after, about a week ago, we went to a party together and apparently my ex was watching me from afar and criticizing everything I did. He flirted with other girls (even my friends that I know he would never go for and they had said that he hadn’t talked to them in months before that night) and then he claimed I was “cock-blocking” him. He kept glancing at me, in the corner quietly with a sad expression, and then told me to stop looking at him. My ex’s friend put his head on my lap and my ex stared at us, stormed outside, and came back later, begging to leave. Last night, we saw my ex with his friends in town and my friend invited them to hang with us at a bar, and you could hear my ex in the background on the phone repeating “I don’t want to see Jesse!” with everyone telling him to suck it up. At the bar he sat as far away from me as possible and was ranting to my friend about a super extremely hot tourist he met this weekend.

Since the breakup my ex’s favorite song is “Say Something” which he adds in his Instagram hashtags and plays and sings along with when he plugs his phone into the speaker at parties. His parents and older sister say that after the breakup he was always in his room and was very rude to the family. His family said that he was very hurt about me flirting with that guy when we were together. After a while he became a party animal, drinking every chance he gets, and even picked up smoking weed (which he used to say he would never do again). He tries so hard to be just like his only friend (who even calls him an annoying follower), because he has lost all of his other friends. His parents say he is extremely unhappy. One night, a week after we had that dinner, I went to my ex’s house, and his parents said that when I was there, they hadn’t seen him smile or laugh that much and that happily since after the breakup. His family tries to get him to talk about us or his unhappiness, but he always clams up, when he used to be so open to them. Recently my ex’s friend told me that my ex talks about me constantly, even though all of it is complaints. He even talks to his friend’s mom about me so much that she knows me as the “blonde he complains about”.

Overall, my ex has become so bipolar. We get into fights and he says he never wants to speak to me again, and then a day later he’s upset about it. He’s told me so many times that he hates me and to get out of his life, later saying that he doesn’t mean it. He said he didn’t care so much that I started to believe it, and then later says he still cares about me and says that is why he is concerned when he sees me with another guy because he’s afraid for “my well-being and reputation”. He constantly tells me and others that he’s over me, so much that his friends will tell me he’s done with me just casually in a conversation. He says in a cycle that he doesn’t have feelings at all, then says he doesn’t know, then says a little.

Right now I am NC for about a week, but I still see him in public because we have a lot of mutual friends. I ignore him though. He is still furious for some reason, and his friends say he’s been on his period lately. He is avoiding me as much as possible. He hasn’t unblocked me on Facebook yet. Randomly his best friends have been making a lot of interesting conversations with me, such as asking me to come over, if I’d ever kiss them, if I love them, or asking me about Mario . At this point I feel like my ex will never stick his ugly head out of the gutter, but he always does. He’s just fantasizing about his new hot tourist rebound right now, but she’s going back home soon hopefully. My ex said we’d maybe get back together when things calm down (even though he said that a while ago I still believe it’s still true in the back of his mind), but things got better, then worse, then better, then worse because he is extremely emotional. I’m just waiting for him to calm down.

What do you think is going on? Do you think we have a good chance of getting back together? What should I do?

admin

May 6, 2014 at 6:50 pm

Hahah on his period.

Would you say your ex is a very impulsive person?
Jesse

May 8, 2014 at 9:48 pm

I’d say he is super impulsive. Do you think he still has feelings for me? Any suggestions on what I should do besides NC?
admin

May 9, 2014 at 3:32 pm

Impulsive people are probably easier to get back I have found. Right now NC is probably your best bet.
Jesse

May 10, 2014 at 1:08 pm

I’m in NC right now. Why is it easier to get someone back that is impulsive?
I think you should research GIGS (Grass is Greener Syndrome) it’s really interesting.
admin

May 12, 2014 at 6:18 pm

A lot of people have been asking about the grass is greener syndrome. I think I may write something on it.
Jesse

May 13, 2014 at 8:54 pm

My friend goes to the same school as my ex and told him one day at lunch that her boyfriend introduced us to two hot sailors. She said that I like one of them and he likes me too. My ex said “Oh…” and then my friend turned to talk to another girl. He suddenly interrupted them and said “Is the guy hot at least?” and my friend said “Yes! Super hot!” and my ex said “Well tell her to be careful because I know how sailors are.” (He’s a sailor himself). She replied with “Don’t worry.” and then he said okay and was quiet the rest of lunch.
Why does he seem so worried and jealous, but directly to me he still refuses to talk and is rude?
admin

May 14, 2014 at 4:04 pm

B/c he still has some feelings.
Jesse

May 14, 2014 at 8:39 pm

Even if he still does have feelings for me, I don’t feel like that is enough to make him want me back. It’s been almost five months and he has the same whiny, upset, and jealous attitude around me that he had right after we broke up. I’m afraid though, that his feelings will only fade with time and patience, not prosper.
I forgot to mention that two months back when I was at that dinner by his house, he kept mentioning old memories and bringing up old inside jokes saying “She used to get so annoyed when I did that to her. It was so funny!” His friend even said “Wow, you guys have really gotten close since I left.” (He moved to Uruguay and was back for a visit.) That night my ex even taught me how to drive his dinghy again (since I was so bad every other time he tried to teach me). After dinner in the living room he would touch my thigh or let me sit next to him. When I got up he pulled my shorts down for me (I think he did it instinctively). It seemed like even after all our fighting and anger, it was as if we never broke up. A week later he was trying his best to push me away so I think he was scared of getting close to me again.

How can I encourage him to think of these memories even more? Do you think it is possible that in NC he will lose feelings for me more than gain them?
Jesse

May 17, 2014 at 1:56 pm

Please help me!
Jesse

May 15, 2014 at 11:29 pm

We had a really productive conversation that one night we went out to dinner, and everything seemed to be calm between us. He said that he loved me as a person and missed me and didn’t know how he felt. He even described certain things he missed about us etc. Other times like when I went to his house for dinner, we didn’t even mention our relationship and just talked and joked around like nothing ever happened. A couple days before I started NC (2-3 weeks ago), he messaged me first and we had a good conversation. He even told our mutual friend that he was proud we could finally talk without getting mad. A few days after (the day I started no contact) we got into another fight. We are very on and off. We can have totally normal conversations about our relationship where he admits that the break up is hard on him etc., and others are full of anger and frustration.
What do you think is going on within his mind? What do you think I should do? We might be attending the same formal party this Saturday. It’s impossible for me not to see him since we live on a small island and our schools are very social with each other, so I just ignore him. Ignoring him ALWAYS drives him crazy.
admin

May 15, 2014 at 2:20 pm

Have you had any productive conversations with him?
Jesse

May 13, 2014 at 8:58 pm

Oh and my ex asked my friend how old the sailor was if that matters. She said 17-18. My ex is really insecure because he looks younger than he is and just like you said, guys always want to think that they were the best you’ve ever had.

Hello

May 2, 2014 at 11:56 am

Can you write a guide about your ex boyfriend being jealous after the breakup?

admin

May 6, 2014 at 6:44 pm

Absolutely I can!

Louisa

May 2, 2014 at 4:10 am

I’ve just read my success story in your section, and it breaks my heart to see how confident and happy I was just a few months ago. I was over the moon when we rekindled our relationship, I had everything I ever wanted. I’m guessing he feels like he’s missing out on whatever his single friends get up to. We had problems but they were only recent things that could have been fixed, he chose not to.

He’s coming over tomorrow to drop my belongings off 🙁
If I start NC after that, in 30 days time his vacation with his friends will be over, and he’ll be back to reality. I understand it will go one of three ways; happy enjoying single life, miss having someone or miss me personally. The not knowing is crushing me. I did/see our future together, and I was really excited about it. Happy with my life and where it was going.

I will try and work really hard on myself, to be the girl he fell in love with and be the girl I was so proud to be. He knows how I feel about the breakup, and knows how much I love him and I’m worried that won’t work in my favor, because in a way he doesn’t have to work to have me.

I’m re-reading all of your articles. They help ease the pain a little, knowing that I’m not alone.

Thanks for all your hard work Chris.

admin

May 6, 2014 at 6:41 pm

So sorry things kind of fizzled since that moment of success.

What were the specific problems this time? What caused the break?

A

May 1, 2014 at 11:31 pm

I’ve read pretty much all of your articles so I’m not sure if I’m missing something and you’ve already covered this, so I’ll ask anyways. My ex and I aren’t exactly on NC, maybe we should be but idk, you tell me if we should. But everything was going good, he admitted back in March that he still has feelings for me and wants to work things out, and we started to go on dates again and it all seemed great. He started pulling back a bit though and it concerned me and we got into an argument, he went almost a week without speaking to me but when we did talk again we got into another one that ended with him blocking me on FB and saying “if i want to talk, then i’ll text you”. Just today on the 8th day we’ve gone without speaking, he texted me “How are you?” and now idk what to do.

My concern is I don’t want to look immature. I made it clear to him in our previous argument that I don’t want us to stop speaking and ignore each other bc it’s dumb and childish and you never know what’s going to happen so we should always be on good terms with each other, but on the other hand I know a little NC might be better right now. After saying all of that to him though, will me not texting back make me look like a hypocrite and the immature one?

admin

May 6, 2014 at 6:39 pm

Do a mini NC… like 7-10 days…

kiki

May 1, 2014 at 12:36 pm

2 pm
Hey Chris,

I’ll try to make this short – I broke up with my bf 10 days ago. We had a huge fight and I told him we probably should not speak to each other anymore and he said ok. Next day I felt bad and contacted him. I actually left a classy msg on his vm (this was before I discovered you Chris, so i’m overjoyed you endorse the classy msg) and began NC. However, his first text to me on day 10 was “i still love you” and at first I was giving the evil, “winning” laugh! He sent the text at lunchtime, but by nighttime, I had melted. One of our biggest issues is that he was pissed that I never make enough time for him and I felt bad about not answering so I did. I sent him a 7 sec vid – I didn’t say a thing, just flirted a bit with my eyes. He responded immediately with a few of those googly heart eyes emoticons and the conversation was over. Was that too much? I know i’m not supposed to respond at all during NC, but knowing one of our biggest issues was him chasing me b/c I was unavailable all the time, I decided to give some kind of response. Is there a difference Btwn being a UG and not always making time for him, and are my chances of making him feel regret about losing me, over? Oh, by the way, during our relationship, I NEVER initiate texts with him so I don’t suppose he’s waiting for me to say something

Any insight will be greatly appreciated! Thanks Chris

admin

May 6, 2014 at 6:37 pm

Go into NC… stay there for a long while like 30 days and then text him the right way. You can get him back if you want I think.

honey

May 1, 2014 at 8:50 am

Hey Chris…well after the break up I been doing the NC for a month…beeing blocked by him though. It didn’t worked on him. Then out of desperation i became a text gnat after a month of NC! Sending him emails & text msgs every other day. Until today I even sent him beautiful pics of me! turned out that he didn’t even read it cuz it would hurt him too much (as his friend said to me). To be honest I am not really sure if he just pretend not to read em or maybe he does without telling about it to his best friend. Well our break up was tearfully and very hurting for both of us. But he decided to try to let me go best way he can (as his friend says) I know he still misses me and still loves me but because of some religious circumstances he tries to let go. Im not blocked on his phone or text but it could be because he feels kinda sorry what he did to me and its just his way to show me still a lil respect? Its been 4 exactly months since he cut me off his life completely and never spoked to him again because he’s not even picking up his phone!
I know he is not very well but I am afraid he really wants to let go 🙁 what to do now??? Another NC time??? Maybe even longer than 1 month???

admin

May 6, 2014 at 6:37 pm

Hmm… maybe for a little bit like a week. I think you just need to come up with a more compelling message.
honey

May 10, 2014 at 2:41 pm

Well Chris just wanna let you know that I gave up. Not even our mutual friend talks to me anymore. Probably he forbid him. Im giving up and move on. From what I see he seems to be happy without me and moved on either. He’s travelled around with his best female friend and doesn’t care about me anymore. I don’t want him no more! Thank you Chris!
admin

May 12, 2014 at 6:22 pm

Wow, not really a good friend if he cuts you out…

Emma

May 1, 2014 at 2:42 am

Hey Chris, I love love this article! My ex bf brokeup with me 6 months ago.. Left me for someone else (we dated and lived together for years-tried on wedding rings etc)..I read you article then I text my ex we then engaged in a lite hearted conversation .. I sent him a picture of myself he said I was beautiful .. Then we ended with a joke.. And that was it.. I don’t know if this is an invitation to start communication more.. Or wait until he wants more..we used to talk/text 20 times a day..so this is hard to know what to do..I don’t want go like this forever..a text here and there.. Ugh! What are your thoughts?

admin

May 6, 2014 at 6:35 pm

Seems to me you haven’t had a good conversation with him yet. Just kind of casual conversations.
Emma

May 6, 2014 at 9:35 pm

He moved out of town .. I have tried to call him to talk to him on the phone.. But he lets it go into voicemail..and when we do text.. I am the last to end it..he told me that I am awesome and he is not mad at me.. But he doesn’t give me anymore than that… A month ago he said that he is still not over me.. And will always remember the good times..if I pull back for any amount of time he drops in a “Hi”..(of course text) But doesn’t want to meet me for a beer when he is in town! Heartwrenching!! Ugh! It’s been 5 months since he has been gone.. It feels like a lifetime !
admin

May 7, 2014 at 3:32 pm

5 months is a long time actually.

I think honestly he is just stringing you along by looking at his actions. You need to find a way to get him to chase you.
Emma

May 8, 2014 at 11:49 am

How?

Jesse

April 30, 2014 at 11:58 pm

What does it mean when your ex constantly talks about you to other people, even if most of it is complaints or rants? My ex apparently watches me from afar when we’re together in public, and he criticizes every move I make. Why does he do this?

admin

May 6, 2014 at 6:34 pm

It means you are on his mind a lot.

A LOT

caia

April 30, 2014 at 9:51 pm

Hey chris! I’m writing this just to thank you for writing hese articles.Although I tried everything I could but nothing seem to work for me.But through this process I made a lot of changes in my life and I realize I’m just too good for him and I will surely make him regret lettin me go. Just that I don’t need him anymore. I know my worrth. So thankyou so much! Stay blessed

admin

May 6, 2014 at 6:33 pm

Good for you. Thats kind of the key. Even if you dont get your ex back I want positive things to happen to you.

Janet

April 30, 2014 at 8:36 pm

Hi chris, thanks for your guide.

I have tried every methods you posted and its amazing.
so I finally got to talk and hang out with my ex.
I have slept with him twice already.
I know I shouldn’t have, but it happened.
I hate to admit this but i feel like i am in FWB zone already.
I really want to work things out.
What I can do at this point?
If he tries to sleep with him again, how I say no to him

I am trying to not make initiate contact now..

Thank you chris!

admin

May 6, 2014 at 6:31 pm

Keep doing everything the same except take sex out of the equation completely until he commits. TRUST ME ON THIS!!!

Em

April 30, 2014 at 7:50 pm

What do guys think about seeing their exgirlfriend on Tinder? I met a guy on there, relationship lasted an awesome two months but he is just extremely stubborn, and now I’m 2 weeks into no contact. I know it would destroy me to see him on there again but does it have the same effect on guys to miss us, or do they laugh it off as desperate and lower the value of the girl if they have already dated? I think it’s better for my value if he doesn’t see me back on there, right?

admin

May 6, 2014 at 6:29 pm

I think it depends on a number of factors. What was the breakup cause?
Em

May 7, 2014 at 6:59 am

He asked me to move into his apartment (I have my own and didn’t need a place to go but played it off like it would be fun but didn’t push the topic), then a few days after that he totally switched and got super commitment phobic. I think he liked me but freaked himself out when he realized what he had offered me (I never brought the topic back up after he had suggested it, so I definitely didn’t prompt clingy-ness or anything to cause his panic; I never said yes or no, just entertained the idea when he tested the water on it). I don’t think going back on the site would help my value number. I think it will take him dating other people, and not running into me on the site or even in real life to realize that what we had was pretty awesome. Super mixed signals from him after he broke up with me. I’m 23, he’s 31. 19 days in NC. Just curious if Tinder would kill any remaining chance or if it would somehow get him to get real?
admin

May 7, 2014 at 3:43 pm

I think he definitely got freaked out a little bit. Did you guys move really fast?

Amy

April 30, 2014 at 4:31 pm

Hi Chris, you are so right that to get the guy you have to be willing to lose him. NC helps, I’m working on that, hitting the gym, changing my diet and I’ve been feeling pretty good.

I am in the last week of NC. Last night I saw my ex at a meeting that I really did not think he’d attend. I hope I handled it ok. He was sitting in the back on the aisle, so to leave after the meeting I would have to pass him. After the meeting I walked up the aisle, chatting and waving to people I knew. I could see out of the corner of my eye he was looking at me. Just before getting to the back I stopped to chat with a guy friend of his and I made sure I was smiling and very cheerful. I then continued to walk and finally looked him in the eye. He said “hey! how are you” and I could tell he was nervous and not sure I’d talk to him. I smiled and said “Hi, I’m great! How are you? Good to see you” and touched his arm and just kept walking.

Good? Bad? Should I not have touched his arm?

admin

May 6, 2014 at 6:28 pm

I honestly think you did awesome!!!!

Juvenile Profundity

April 30, 2014 at 11:00 am

Hi. You still know me right? From the previous comments…

I’ve got a question for you…

What if your ex suddenly stops talking to you? How can you win him back? I mean, its been 2 weeks since we last talked… I don’t know what’s going on in his mind right now.

Will he ever talk to me again? Should I keep my hopes high?

admin

April 30, 2014 at 2:01 pm

Of course!

Have you tried any reach outs?
Juvenile Profundity

May 6, 2014 at 10:38 am

No.. not yet.. cuz I don’t know how to approach him. I don’t know what to say to him. I was waiting for him to talk to me first, but what always happen is just the opposite.

How can I reach out? What should I tell him? I don’t know what will get him interested. Men are so complicated. 😐

Or should I just wait for the school to commence before I talk to him again? I mean, school is just a month away from now…… so..do you think I should still wait for that time? Or make the first move right now?

Lauren

April 30, 2014 at 8:36 am

Hi there,

I’ve been reading on some of your pages and although, they are very very helpful and reassuring to read, they don’t exactly answer my questions. I’m very confused right now, and I’ve had advice from a few people now but you really seem to know what you’re talking about. I don’t know how to go about getting in contact with you… but I’d very much appreciate a chat if you have any time. If you’ve found my post, thank you for reading this 🙂

Hope to hear from you soon,
Lauren

admin

April 30, 2014 at 2:00 pm

You can contact me here! Ask any question you want.
Lauren

May 1, 2014 at 7:53 am

Hi Chris, thank you!

Basically, I’m at that stage of a break up where I’ve had my crying moments & been sad. I’ve done all of that. I’m starting to feel comfortable & get myself together & be strong, then BOOM. Return of the ex. It’s like they know when you’re getting better & they dangle bate off their fishing hook in hope they’ll catch you. Men & their pride.

Anyway, we broke up last year during the summer & soon afterwards (I5 days) he had slept with someone else. Probably stupidly, I took him back a month after. He just never understood. Then we were happy, I was happy, everything was good. I went to a party & ended up kissing someone. A gross kiss, like you’d kiss a friend, but with someone I’d never spoken to in my life. We broke up straight away – nearly 2 months ago now. I lost a lot of people due to my actions but I accept that.

Anyway, he’s been completely different since, like I never knew him. Seeing the group of girls that he was with in the summer, just having fun. I was glad for him, but then he text me saying how he wanted me back. Just as I was starting to stand on my feet again.

Well, I met him last night & he broke it to me that he had slept with another of those girls. I sort of knew it, gut feeling, but I was OK. He does make me happy, I felt myself again which I haven’t done lately. But I’m just so unsure. He never learns. Am I right in thinking he’s messaged me cus he’s scared I’ll do the same? Would you give him another chance? Head or Heart situation 🙁 Can I just add that he’s an all or nothing person, so I’d be completely cut out if I let go…
admin

May 6, 2014 at 6:36 pm

Thats men in a nutshell.

Funny how that happens right?

I mean, if you two were broken up and not together I guess it is forgiveable but it is hard to hear. Hes definitely scared youll do the same.

Gloria

April 30, 2014 at 4:42 am

I just wanted to extend my sincerest thanks for the amazing job you do with you’re guides! Being in my early 40’s, I am likely on the older end of the age spectrum of those who follow your site. That said, what you so articulately put forth COMPLETELY transcends that age gap, and is relevant to us all. How I wish I had happened upon your site PRIOR to the relationship gaffes I commited with my, now, ex -but, as the adage goes, hindsight is perfect (or is it supposed to read 20/20?). But I have gleaned some valuable insight for future endeavors. Anyway, I thank you, truly, for taking the time, making the effort and extolling the energy necessary to create these guides. You are appreciated.

admin

April 30, 2014 at 1:54 pm

Wow thank you so much Gloria!

That makes me feel so good.

aisha

April 30, 2014 at 4:34 am

Im a bit embarasses but ive done every desperate thing you have named in this article to win my ex back and its led to him completly ignoring me.. we havn’t spoken in 2 months..? what do i do? because i know for a fact he will ignore me even if i did speak to him..

admin

April 30, 2014 at 1:52 pm

Well, NC is the smartest thing you can do righ tnow. Are you doing that?
aisha

May 1, 2014 at 12:32 am

The no contact rule? yep im doing that but for how long?
admin

May 6, 2014 at 6:14 pm

Generally you want to do it for 30 days but if he gets super needy you may need to shorten it to 21 days.

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481 thoughts on “Desperation 101- How To Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back Without Looking Desperate”