Do You Have A Chance At Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back?

Leauna

July 22, 2015 at 9:44 pm

Hi Chris,
I broke up with my ex July 6, and he decided to not chase me at all. I broke the no contact rule and asked him to meet me for lunch to talk about our relationship. He ended up meeting me (he was scared) we had a really nice time and he told me he missed me a lot and wouldn’t stop hugging me goodbye. He told me we could go slow with us to figure out what we want. He flirted with me the next day over text. I thought he would have asked to hang out, instead he hung out with his friends ( who think it’s best we break up) I was hurt, I stayed patient. He said he would try but he lied because he didn’t seem like he was really trying. A week went by and he said we could meet up at the lake to hang out, then he tells me his plans changed that he was going with family instead to the lake. I was really hurt and called him crying..we talked on the phone for 2 hours that night and he just seemed like he didn’t believe we could work and that he didn’t want to see me. I asked him if he still loved me, he said he didn’t know. He kept saying he was confused. The next day he told me he thinks that it’s best we are just friends right now. He wouldn’t accept my friend request on FB, he wasn’t even acting like a friend or that he cared. He kept saying idk what to say, I’m sorry. I told him I was done talking to him for good. He stopped talking to me. After a day I called him upset missing him and told him to call. 3 hours later he texted me saying he couldn’t call but he could text a little..I texted him back the next morning telling him to call me when he has time..it’s been 3 days and he has not tried to contact me. I’m so hurt, I just don’t believe he can he over me this quick. I just started the no contact rule but I’m not sure if he will ever want me to he his gf again. Please reply thanks !

Elenora

July 19, 2015 at 3:12 am

Was seeing a guy (I met on a dating site) for the last nine months. I was clear from the beginning that I was not into sex without a commitment, but he insisted we see each other regularly to see where things might lead. He was clear he wasn’t ready for a commitment/relationship yet.

Well, I fell in love with him. I don’t know how he feels about me, but I do know he likes me. We never fought or anything, and always had an amazing time. I let him do the chasing.

After about eight months, we started seeing each other once a week instead of every two/three weeks. It felt like things were moving forward. Then, after a really nice Friday night dinner, he had an intimacy issue, freaked out over text msg, and ignored me for five days.

This really hurt my feelings so I sent him a text asking him to never communicate with me again. I explained that I could no longer proceed with things knowing he did not want to be romantically open. I also let him know that I didn’t feel like he cared about me at times.

He replied saying he understood where I was coming from, and apologized for making me feel that way. He apologized for being so distant, said he cared, and had been busy with work and family stuff.

I did not reply yet, and am on day 13 of no contact (no word from him either). I’m terrified!

I love this guy. I don’t know why. And we have incredible chemistry.

What are my chances of starting fresh again, and getting that golden commitment?

(I have been reading Ex Boyfriend Recovery Pro in the meantime.)

Thank you for everything you do! 🙂

Amanda

July 16, 2015 at 6:07 pm

Hey Chris !!

My boyfriend just broke up with me after long distance relationship.
I’m sticking to the NC rule and doing pretty good (day 5 now).
He didn’t really give me any reason for why he was breaking up with me,
just said that he needed to be alone and that he realized when he moved
back home how different we were and stuff and that he needed to be alone.

It came completely out of the blue because last week he had bought a ticket to
come see me this Friday, which he has now cancelled.
We lived together for four months this year and then i went away on a two months trip.
When I came back home he had moved back to Finland.
We had planned several visits to each other this year and he even wanted to come and spend Christmas with me.
It went so well, we were talking everyday, regular phone sex, pictures and everything.
He talked all the time about how he wanted to spend his life with me and even talked about
kids and grandchildren.
I really can’t see what could have changed so fast.

When we broke up he said that one day I would make a guy very happy and that he loved
every day he was with me, and that he loved me and all that stuff.
I mean what the hell ??

Anyway! I’m in a bit of a pickle because he had bought me a ticket to go see
him in Finland in August. He said he wouldn’t cancel the ticket as “maybe in august
it could be the beginning of a friendship” like he said.
NOW! I have noo idea if I should actually go and see him if he wants to?
It will be less then 30 days from now, three weeks.
And if he wants me to come over,-just as friends… What should I do ?
It would be 10 days where I would be staying there…

AND if you can say anything about the “chance” of me succeeding getting him back, it would be great ..
Although I know it’s not possible

PS. Your site has completely helped me ! Luckily I found it the day after
and I haven’t contacted him at all! I told him I was thankful for everything
that he did for me and I wished him the best. (No tantrum or nothing).
He also said “feel free to message me if you need answers or just need to talk,
I’ll always reply. But I wont send you any messages”

Ps2. After thinking back, I think that I was demanding too much of him,
constantly being sad about being in a long distance relationship.
But I’m willing to try again. I’m happy without him but happier with him 🙂

Cory

July 13, 2015 at 8:33 pm

Hi Chris,

Great site, I’ve been reading through some of your articles and they’ve been a great help. Just to add, I’m a male and just got out of a relationship with another male. We are mid 20’s, have been together for 2 years and have lived together for the last 1.5 years. We both have the same job (airline pilots) and met at our previous job, since then we’ve moved together twice one of which was across the country. He is Mormon and has never dated anyone seriously before me. I was also the first person that he brought home. After 2 years his family really loves me and cares deeply for me.

About 4 months ago we went on a trip with his family and he just wasn’t in the greatest of moods and we talked about it. He said that we didn’t have many common interests (a reoccurring discussion over the 2 years), we didn’t have a spiritual connection (I’m not Mormon), he feels like he needs to date around and to see what else is out there, meet new people and see what he “clicks” with, we are both old souls, but I feel he got bored with the relationship as well. He’s a total type A, perfectionist, has a plan for everything and maybe even overthinks a lot of things. After this I was skeptical but thought it was a good idea to maybe take a break. We still were living together, and for all intents and purposes continue with status quo. It actually got better! From communication, to doing things together, to being more caring loving. In the last couple of months we would take about a future together, marriage, and just long term life goals. All the while he had social apps on his phone to meet new men. It was almost has if he was having his cake and eating it too. By this point, I didn’t want to go down this path and separate. We would talk, and he felt it was still required because he felt he would still have these doubts 1 year, 5, 10 years down the road and needed to know for sure if this was the right thing. Yet still acted as if we were in a real, caring and committed relationship. Ours was always very caring and respectful. We’ve never cheated or were abusive to each-other. Many people oftentimes said how great we were together.

We had a long talk about 2 weeks ago with me basically asking to try again. And it was the same response, he needs to date around with several people but doesn’t want a relationship with another person. He also said that “there’s a really good chance we get back together.” He also said that he wished he could put as much effort into our relationship as I do and that I’m a wonderful person, and that if we did get back together we’d probably get married. He feels this is the only thing we can do t make things work out long term. He had a hard time calling it a “break up” and would refer to it as a break.

Right after this our lease was up and we had planned to live separately. We moved out, and it really has hit me. I’m a bit of a mess, and always wondering what he’s doing. He was introduced to a man that is a friend of a friend about 2 weeks ago. They’ve spent quite a bit of time together, he’s been over at his house a few times this week and this new person has posted a few pictures of them on a recent group camping trip. He’s told me though that this new person isn’t of the same caliber of me and that he’s just talking to people to keep his mind off things. This new person doesn’t own a car, no source of recurring income, and is a bit of a nomand. Whereas my ex and I are very much the opposite.

I told “ex” about a week and a half ago that I needed to go NC for a while. It would be the best option for me, he said he appreciated my honesty. After about 3 days he texted me, and my responses were very quick and I always ended the conversation. I saw him a few days later at the gym, we of course worked out together and talked after… mostly me asking how we was doing. He was he was getting by. I asked if he missed me and he replied saying the he did, and missed the structure and stability our relationship offered him. (And it did, we both valued structure and routine). Since then he’s texted me just once in the last few days, and it was about a “business question” – something we had planned on doing next month together. He was curious if I was going. I responded with a short messaged saying I was. I feel he was trying to make conversation, but in an indirect way.

So as we go down this path, what are your thoughts? Do you think this new person has any threat to our relationship. Do you think my “ex” will come around? I’m sticking to NC, but trying to be as polite, patient as possible without showing any emotion.

Any other advice? Thanks!

pam

July 11, 2015 at 12:15 am

Hey Chris! First this is a great website! It gave me some insights of what happened but i reallyy reallyy really need your help! I have doubts if my ex really doesnt want to be involved me anymore because he’s not into me or it’s because he truly has a commitment phobia. We had a really short relationship, he said his past relationships were really short lived too. First he chased me and when we started he was always super sweet, happy, loving and attentive,we get along very well, always texting and wanting to be around me,saying he needed and wanted me. Although he said he wanted nothing serious or be in a relationship in the beginning, his actions showed otherwise like always making sure i was alright, giving me a lot of attention e etc. But when we had more intimacy and i wondered why we couldnt date officially,he always found an excuse blaming his life. Then he suddenly pulled away. Last time we talk he still blamed his life and said he is against the idea of be attached to anyone or anything. That he is not on dating anymore and likes me as a friend although when i asked if he missed us he said yes but can’t feel romance anymore and wants to isolate himself and don’t want to be with anyone. I don’t know what to do or to think, but yes if i could i would want him back since i do love him.
I do recognize that i should have tried to understand him more but although we didn’t argue. i was stressed out as well when we broke up.i don’t know if he doesn’t likes me or he is really emotionally unavailable. I haven’t contact him since them it’s almost a month. Do i still have chance to get back with him? Please help i’m so sad!!! I hope you have an advice for me! Thanks

Emma

July 8, 2015 at 9:43 pm

Hi Chris, please can you help me, I have been with my boyfriend 6 years today, we have a mortage and a dog and was planning on starting a family next year! We had been bickering a lot over for a about a month and then about a month ago he said he needed space and moved back to his mums, I met up with him a week after and he said he wasn’t sure what he wanted (instant reaction was to beg) yes I’m ashamed 🙁 we had a holiday booked with all his family to Florida which agreed to still go to and I quote ‘don’t get your hopes up and I don’t want to talk about our relationship) so 2 weeks pass and he is still at his mums and then we go away on hiday, awkward on the first day however the rest of the holiday we got on really well, Los of laughter and banta, nolvra was made as I didn’t want to make the holiday awkward as wasn’t sure how he felt, we came back and we shared a bed together and dispeared to work without a goodbye (today) I then text him saying happy 6 years to then he replied with you too, what are going to do about us. I said I want to be with you to which he replied with I just see you as a friend and nothing more, I said ok I don’t know the day as I can’t make you love me, he said can we talk about it tonight. Then after work I get a long text asking me to move back to my mums for couple nights and we meet Friday to sort all this out and that he wasn’t in the right frame of mind to talk and he was still jet lagged.

I don’t know what to do, i love him with every inch of my body, the thought of him not wanting me chrushes me, he is my best friend and the love of my life. Although we bickered he still made me the happiest girl in the world. I’m not sure what to do in this situation? Please can you help me Chris, the fear of loosing him is killing me 🙁

ally

July 6, 2015 at 10:29 pm

okay… so this will be very long.

my ex and i broke up on may 28 after a huge and drunken fight. we had been arguing for about a month and a half before that, always over stupid things. basically, we had underlying stress. he was moving away for a job. i was upset about it. he was nervous about living someplace new. he told me at least 5 times leading up to his move that he wanted to stay together when he was gone because it was temporary, so i don’t think he was looking for an out.

we got into that nasty, nasty fight the night before he moved. on the day he left, i didn’t even get to say goodbye. he left without seeing me. for 2 and a half days, he ignored all of my calls and texts. when i finally got him on the phone, he said we needed to break up. i was devastated. i handled it terribly. i texted him at least ten times a day for a week. i said that i needed to talk to him, that i loved him, etc. when that week was over, he called me (because i begged him to so i could have closure) and we talked for about an hour. at first he was cold, but he started to fall back into his soft spot for me. then once he realized that, he snapped out of it, called me a few names, and ended the call.

for another two weeks i texted him a couple of times a day (probably closer to 3-5 times. i know this is extreme but please think about how the last time i had seen his face was a huge fight and then he literally abandoned me. i also figured that he could block me very easily if he didn’t want to get my texts). he hardly responded, but when he did, it was to say he still loved me but that we couldn’t be together. that crushed me. why tell me you love me?

two weeks later, i told him i was coming to the city. i said “you don’t have to see me but i would appreciate it if you did. i’ll be close enough that we can meet up. the ball is in your court.” he agreed to see me and we had dinner. it was a little awkward but overall alright. at the end, i asked him “do you honestly never want to hear from me again?” he said “i do… just not for a while.”

that was two weeks ago. i texted him once or twice a day for 3 days after i went back home, finally giving up on a tuesday. the last message i sent him said something to the effect of “i know you’re mad and i have realized i havent given you any space. i’m sorry for that. i just love you and i regret this whole situation. maybe backing off will give you time to miss me or give me time to heal. i’d love it if we could talk at the end of this month” on thursday, he texted me to say that we can talk and that he would come visit me… WHAT?! he ignored me and iced me out for weeks but as soon as i backed off, he contacted me.

3 days after his text, we talked on the phone. i told him that i want to try again. i want to take things slow and build back up. it’s clear we both have feelings for each other. we both have reservations too, but we’ll never know if we don’t try. he said that he wants to see me in two weeks but that i should back off for these two weeks so he has some time to think.

drunken fight. bad breakup. bombarded him w texts and calls and got ignored. stopped contacting him for 2 days and then he said we should talk. called him after he texted me to make plans to talk and he said he may want to try again but that he “needs time to think” and to not contact him for the 2 weeks between now and when we see each other. what is he doing? what does this mean? please offer some insight into the male mind. there were no lies. no cheating. we argued about dumb shit because of what we had going on in the background. i love this man and i truly believe that he loves me. his personality is such that he wouldn’t say it if it weren’t true. but he’s also so proud… to a fault. and he said that he was hurt and is afraid that if we try again, we will break up. what can i say to him? and if he is on the fence, what can i do when i see him to fully tip the scales in my favor?

thanks!

Marie

July 2, 2015 at 11:37 pm

Hi Chris! I have a few questions but to tell you a little more about the story I wanted to know how to best contact you directly.

Cheers!

Kane

July 1, 2015 at 3:24 pm

Hi Chris, wondering if you could help iv been going out with this guy since the day we met was love as first sight for both of us! He kept asking me out but I kept saying it was to soon eventually I caved in and we dated for a year and 2 months! Admittly at the start of this year I started to moan a lot and always seemed to be in a bad mood, I honestly did take it out on him and I moaned constantly about everything he did. Eventually he did dump me but that night he asked me to come round and he said he wants me back he was silly he wants to give me the chance to change because he loves me! 3 days later I said can we talk just to clear more of the air and have a really fresh relationship I said to him that he’s been off with me not off but not the same as he was a few months ago he said he honestly can’t be with me anymore he loves me and cares about me but the Sparks gone? He walked out and cried that night! I found out he slept with a girl 2 days later so I texted him in anger he said it just happened and that it was none of my business. Anyway I decided to do no contact deleted him from everything but for some reason he still follows me on Instagram anyway I uploaded a picture of myself (this is 3 weeks after the break up) he texted me saying you look beautiful in that dress, I ignored it then he texted saying he misses me and he’s sorry for ever hurting me, I ignored it again then he texted saying he’s sorry for texting and that he’s deleted my number now, I still haven’t replied but 2 days later (today) iv texted him saying I also miss you. I no iv broken the nc but I do miss him and we never broke up over anger it was sival we was still joking about even though we was crying aha, just wondering if there is any chance it could all come back together and we could have a real fresh start one were I’d be the old me the one he loved, isn’t worth purchasing your book or is the relationship just desting to be over, please help, thank you!

Juliet

June 24, 2015 at 7:29 pm

Hi Chris, I really need you help.
My exboyfriend cheated on me over a year and a half ago, once I discovered it 4 months ago he told me he would make ANYTHING to win back my trust, and he did.. he changed a lot. Since that happened i‘ve been acting like a really crazy girlfriend. On thursday when I was at his house I notice he followed back on instagram a girl I told me no to do it,, which was the girl he cheated on me best friend, I got really upset and we went to his cousins house like that, he apologized and stuff but i was really angry, on saturday he broke up with me saying that his family asked him that why i was acting like that, and he was really upset about that, that all of this was his fault but he couldnt handle it anymore, it was over the phone and he told me we would see each other in some days, i know that a lot of what he said over the phone and because he was angry and he didnt mean it, also im his longest relationship, the one that made more impact in his life. What do you think? is it possible for him to come back?

Sidney

June 23, 2015 at 2:43 pm

Hi, Chris! Your website has been incredibly helpful, but I still need a little bit of advice. My ex and I dated for a year and a half and during that time he bought me a ring and we studied what it would mean to have a good Christian marriage. He returned the ring a few months after the one year mark because we got in a fight, but we worked everything out and still discussed marriage. The only problem is that he is 28 and I am 20 and he was ready to get married while I was still in college 2 hours away and just home for the summer. I wanted to wait a year until I graduated and felt a lot of pressure about getting married, so he decided that I was too fearful about getting married and took a break from me. I never really thought we broke up. He told me he needed time to think and pray about the situation. 5 days after he did this he saw me kissed me and told he loved me and asked for some space. Again, I just thought I was giving him time to himself. Apparently, right after that he started dating someone who is a few years older than me… The main difference between is she is out of school and ready to settle down. She doesn’t even have a job and is probably just planning on having kids with him and not working (something he doesn’t want). He is also changing a lot of his plans and life goals to be with her. Honestly, I know he is just scared to be alone, so he is settling for the wrong girl. They have been together for almost four months and after he has been talking to me after church off and on about other things. This Sunday, he decided to tell me a few days ago that I needed to prepare myself because he may propose to her in a few weeks or a few months (I’m thinking its the few weeks because he told me about it). He said he couldn’t keep talking to me after church because we have a history and things/feelings make come up again and he can’t do that since he has a girlfriend…First of all, he rushed into this relationship because he doesn’t want to be alone. He also is still in the honeymoon phase and barely knows the girl. He also was very convinced that I was the one for him until she came along and even still hints that if she was not here then he may be with me. He even told me that they have gotten into arguments already. Also, he waited a year to buy me a ring and started talking about marriage; it was not 3 months into the relationship. I know if he does propose that there is no backing out of this and he will never ever divorce her. I believe he is rushing to marriage for all the wrong reasons and is too scared to be alone. How do I stop him? I’ve already told how I felt about this and how I still feel about him despite what he is doing. Everyone says to just let it go, but how can I just let him make the biggest mistake of his life? I still know him better than anyone in the entire world and he will admit that too, so do I even have a voice in this situation? And is it even possible to turn his heart back towards me?

Ashley

June 21, 2015 at 8:16 pm

So me and my BF had been dating for about 8 months. we broke up once before right before Xmas after two months, but he gave it a second chance. We weren’t perfect, he was laid off right as our relationship started in a very difficult career field, the gaming industry. I thought things were going good we were making plans for the upcoming summer months, things were a little boring because he was working so hard on finding a new job, but he still made an effort to do things for me like cooking me special dinner, or taking care of me when I was sick or buying me flowers unexpectedly. He told me that finding a jobwas his number one priority. I gave him a lot of space, but in the last month or so I was basically living with him and was very supportive of the space he needed to finish his work, even if it meant moving across the country. He didn’t want to do too much but play video games or catch up on shows. then out of blue he says he doesn’t see a future together, he has no feelings of love for me. (he has never in the relationship said so) I am his best friend and I needed to move out. He received a whole bunch of rejections from jobs and his life is all messed up. He is more than likely going to have to move if he can’t find anything here and he doesn’t want me to feel the need to go with him and us break up and then I’m stuck away from my friends and family. he couldn’t give me what I needed or wanted and that I am an amazing person and will find the one for me. that we have different interests and it wasn’t going to work he wasn’t going to change his mind, and we needed to not talk for a month and we could only be friends again. he cried the first day of the breakup and his mom said he was a wreck. he muted or unfollowed me on all social media and iPhone. I have broken all the rules, I cried I begged I went to his mom, I showed up unannounced (but to give back his key) I wrote the love professing letter all in the first week, and then I started the NC. it is very hard, because I am afraid that I am holding on to something that never was. My birthday is in 3 weeks and my friends throwing the party invited him and he flat out declined. Im just not sure the no contact is going to change his mind, but it is what he asked for, and how after breaking all the rules in your book and being muted everywhere, am I supposed to make it work?

Noelle

June 21, 2015 at 9:39 am

I’m confused on what my chance is?? broke up 2 months ago cause he doesn’t want to move in/get married. We are long distance, he moved for a job 7 months ago. Haven’t done NC for more than a week, which I will fully start now for my own sake. He text me first month of breakup non stop. Saw him in person (no sex) he was emotional, said there is still a chance for us. Seemed like things were back on track for the next two weeks, he pulls away again…attempted NC for a week until i find out he’s been texting my female friend all day everyday. She is long distance too, both swear no flirting he swears he isn’t interested, she just a friend. so I freaked out on both of them. He’s annoyed and angry with me. He did tell me he still has feelings for me and doesnt want me to get a new boyfriend. But its over for good, he would only be wasting my time if we got back together. It’s been a week now haven’t heard from either of them. I don’t know if she counts as a new girlfriend too.

victoria

June 17, 2015 at 7:55 am

hi chris, im currently reading your ebook.. my fiance and we broke up a month ago because of weekly fights.. he said he was fed up and broke up with me.. i text him almost everyday for the last 3 weeks and he said it was over for him.. i tried to keep quiet for a week and take a chance to texr gim.. he said he was feeling incomplete but have to move on.. is there still a chance for us?

Resus

June 14, 2015 at 3:58 pm

Hello Chris:
First I want to tell you that I came from a culture in which a boyfriend was not allowed as a teen and I was severely abused by a mentally ill husband during my many years of marriage.I am mid thirties. Relationships are confusing to me.I don’t understand the signals and I am afraid of what ifs.Mixed inexperience and fear have been following me.The inexperience part is nearly gone but fear is very hard to overcome.I was in a long distance relationship for 3 years. I met with him right after my divorce.He was like a penpal but after a year I started to develop feelings for him and I told him.Throughout these three years he never said that we were in an exclusive relationship. I could not decide what I was to him .Despite many beautiful things he would do, he would say the worst things all the time.I had boyfriend and my ex in my life (as a friend), so did he.I did not want to dedicate my years to him if he was not ready to be exclusive because he was the one who always said that he had a girlfriend before I ended up having a boyfriend.Usually it was me who broke it off then came back to him.It became like yo-yo but each time with stronger reactions to the confusion.This time I directly asked him if he wanted to have relationship, he said “no” then “for the sake of us” and that he has challenges ,that we are not a good fit in the meantime. At first that second part gave me hope but I felt tired to be dragged on for years and I told him that I would wait but with cutting all the ties with him. I deleted him from everywhere after having told him that he could deal with his challenges and that my challenge is forgetting him.He took it as ” as you wish” attitude.It has been only three days. I have no intention to continue this yo-yo and his passive dragging and feeding me with crumbs emotionally. I may have another boyfriend but I have a difficult time attaching myself to another person emotionally because I miss his presence enormously. I don’t know if he would ever miss my presence the way I miss his or if we ever could see eachother.I don’t know even know why I am writing to you but I guess I am in search for crumbs and that feelings of having something stuck in my throat is horrible.I keep failing in relationships and these men who seem to have fear themselves do not help. However, I take the full responsibility with this.It was me who chose to follow him,he never told me that we were anything but acted differently. My question is how could I have acted differently so that I could have had more success in this?By the way he came to where I live two time for the period of months so we were physically together.

Confused...

June 12, 2015 at 5:31 am

So, my situation is a little complicated – it combines two of the above situations with an extra twist… We broke up late last year after a very rocky long-distance relationship… Our problems, I guess, started before the long-distance and then quickly worsened until within months of moving away it was over. We’d been together for about three years.

Within weeks of splitting, he’d started dating and sleeping around a bit, within a couple of months, he started seeing a girl but then stopped because of how it made me feel. We’ve seen each other most weeks since the split and usually I end up pushing him away, trying to reason that it was circumstance rather than inherent incompatibility that was the problem and him saying that it we tried, it failed, it will fail again and us fighting (no surprises there). I never mean to do it but it somehow always comes up – even a few times he’s brought up a possible future and trying again but it always ends the same way. When we’re not fighting, there’s a clear chemistry and a lot of love but he says that when he thinks about us in the future he can’t think beyond the hurt from the past. He associates the idea of a relationship with me with pain. I get the impression that with time he becomes more convinced that he’s right., not less, although he seems unsure at times but he seems almost determined to convince himself.

A few weeks ago he and the other girl reconnected and decided to try and have a real relationship. He does compare us – he says everything is just so much easier and more relaxed with her. This was very soon after he had actually promised me he’d spend time with me and see how things went between us, so I was taken completely off guard.

The twist is that at the exact same time, he’s just moved thousands of miles away from her as well. (Dallas to San Fran)! He hasn’t told me how he wants to make that work but he does say that he wants me in his life and wants to stay friends. I’m booked on a flight to visit him soon (within the usual no contact period). I’ve been honest with him about how I feel, namely that because I love him, I want him to be happy so I’ll try to support him and try to just be friends even though it’s hard and it hurts but that this is more of a let him go and if he comes back situation. He and I are both good friends with most of our exes so I’m especially worried about being put into that basket as well. This is the first relationship I’ve felt strongly enough to put a real effort into fighting for. I feel like that has to mean something?

Right now, I just feel hopeless. Not sure what to do… An outside opinion that isn’t “just move on” would definitely be appreciated… I’ve read a lot of your articles and watched a lot of the podcasts (nice idea, by the way!). I especially look at the long distance, long distance with a girlfriend, with a girlfriend stuff… But nothing quite fits! I feel like now is the time more than any other that I really need to tread carefully.

Chris

June 10, 2015 at 8:43 pm

I’ve been dating a guy for about 5 monthsa month before I even consider dating him to really get to know me in that time I completely was transparent and open about my issues past relationships what I was looking formind he still wanted to date me live under 2 hours away so we site after every week and talk daily.deep feelings are quickly developed but the about that this is that future lied.I can be somebody to get more emotional way he tends to be somebody’s feel to have to fix that we never had a fight in a relationship so there were times I broke down and tears my cell phone seems to be a issue of conflict if you could reach me when I was talking to him and it died he tried calling me back he felt that was on the phone with somebody on and ignoran him we didn’t speak for 24 hours in that time. in that time he decided that he no longer love me and that we were no longer a good match. we just recently had gotten back 1 of his family function I was at a point in the relationship where I got very close to stanley at this weekend get away and saw myself moving for the relationship and becoming part of that family so I was completely shell shocked that he wanted to end it and 2 days earlier when we spoke about it that still where he saw himself and our relationship with the first time he had had a sexually fulfilling relationship I feel like he’s just scared and running and I still really love him and I don’t know what to do or how to fight for him back or if I even still have a chance

Ava

June 10, 2015 at 12:36 am

My ex broke up with me a few days ago. We have been dating for a year & I noticed that he had texted his ex girlfriend twice within the last month that we were together (not much texting just a few short conversations). I confronted him about it & said that I would really like if they did not talk to one another because it makes me uncomfortable. He replied with the fact that they are (& will always be) great friends, she was just asking how he hurt himself because he broke his ankle, & that it was a meaningless conversation, but if I do not trust him & if I am going to let someone as irrelevant as her impact our relationship then we should break up for a while & see if we appreciate each other more. I am implementing the No Contact Rule but am just curious as to if there is a good chance for us?

Shiv

June 9, 2015 at 2:59 pm

Hi,
My ex and I took a break about 5 weeks ago. He said he didn’t feel the same way about me anymore. We met up a couple weeks later and he told me he didn’t want to be in a relationship. I agreed to being friends, because I didn’t want to lose him completely. A week later, I found out he had dated someone else during the break who he had met while we were in a relationship. I said goodbye to him and haven’t talked to him for 15 days now. He hasn’t said anything since. I still do have feelings for him and want him back. I just don’t know how to ignite that spark once again in our relationship, because it seems like he isn’t interested and doesn’t care. I’m really confused right now.
What do I do now? Please help me. Thanks!

Hannah

June 7, 2015 at 6:41 pm

Hello Chris,
Do you think my chances of getting my ex back are ruined if this is the second time we break up ( 4 months after the last breakup). I did no contact rule the first time we broke up but screwed up at the rest.
Also, is it wise to completely block my ex to do no contact rule ? And not give him any information about me since I am not on any social network.
Thank you a lot

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