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699 thoughts on “Do You Even Have A Chance At Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back? Let’s Find Out!”

  1. Tina

    April 8, 2016 at 6:31 pm

    HI,
    I really enjoy reading all the information you cover. Almost 2 weeks ago my boyfriend broke up with me. We did fight a little too much at the end. Every time I would tell him my feelings he would say it was drama and did not want to deal with it. About a month ago he broke up with me and he had me blocked from facebook, etc. I have both girl and guy friends, which I am friends with their girlfriends as well. My one guy friend was checking up on me because he knows how hurt I was. When he text me I was with my boyfriend. My boyfriend then seen it, then decided to go through my facebook messages and seen really old messages that were before him. He then was with me for a week and throughout that week he would think i was still talking to my guy friend and then over text messaging he said that it was over. I ask him why, He said he wanted to be single. I said What did I do? He said I can not get over that you were talking to “other guys” After that I have not heard from him. He told me to leave him alone he didn’t want to change his number. that whole weekend I was calling him, at a time I was flipping out. Never responded to anything. The last couple of days I have sent him sweet messages, but still no response. I am trying to hard to do the “N/C” rule, but it is so hard. What are my chances here? He is a very stubborn man and things always have to go his way I have noticed. I feel like did he ever even love me? I need help please?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      April 9, 2016 at 8:55 am

      Hi Tina,

      have you explained to him that your guy friend has a gf? And that he was just checking up on you.. if you have mutual friends, ask for help.. but your ex can’t know that you asked them for help..

  2. Heather12

    April 3, 2016 at 12:46 pm

    Hi Chris,

    You have covered the Long Distance Relationship and ex bf getting a new girlfriend while you are trying to get him back. I have a situation where it’s a combination of both (Long Distance Relationship and ex bf with a new girlfriend for almost a year now). What do you think would be the chances in this situation?

    Thanks!

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      April 4, 2016 at 7:57 am

      Hi Faith,

      sorry for the late reply.. it looks like he’s being safe.. talk to him calmly.. Tell him that you understand him but you also need to be fair to yourself..If he can’t leave his current gf where would that leave you? Give yourself time until when you would wait but after that move on

  3. karen

    April 1, 2016 at 12:11 pm

    We broke up after 6 years together and since that I was messed up. We used to live together and a month after we broke up, he had to move to another city for a new job. At first, I was being so desperated and a needy person. It just made things worser than before. But since he moved, I’ve started to figuring things out what went wrong and tried to accepting our breakup. We were fighting alot while we were together because of silly things and he said that I was not supporting him enough, not care enough too and he didn’t have a spirit to fight for our relationship anymore. I’ve started to realised that the reason of the breakup was mostly because of me. I’ve been trying to not contact him to let him heal and myself too. But I couldn’t really not stay in touch with him because we still have to talk about the moving stuff, etc. I’ve always tried to be a positive person while we were talking and never talk about my feelings or how I miss him. When he told me how depressed and lonely he was in the new city, I’ve tried to be very supportive and cheered him up. We don’t stay in touch everyday. But I’ve just started to think, perhaps during the breakup I should also sometimes ask him how he was doing and try to give more attention and supports to him. So that he can know that I was trying to be a better person and more supportive since we broke up. But I’m also scared, that we might ended up in the friendzone if I was being too friendly or keep in touch frequently. Does no contact rules really work on my case? Or it has just made him realize that we are really not compatible with each other and the relationship is not going to work. What do you think? Thanks

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      April 3, 2016 at 12:19 pm

      Hi Karen,

      sorry for the late reply.. I think you should contnue being positive and friendly every time you meet for his things.. tell him he can come over anytime to have a chat and then busy now too be active in posting it while being friendly to him.. Take this opportunity to be his positive source while striving to be the ungettable girl.. try a little jealousy moves too.. go out with groups of friends then post it

    2. karen

      April 1, 2016 at 12:28 pm

      I’m also scared during no contact rules, he might find someone that really cares about him and always be there for him. Because I know, how important it is for him to has someone that cares.

    3. EBR Team Member: Amor

      April 3, 2016 at 12:19 pm

      Hi Karen,

      sorry for the late reply.. I think you should contnue being positive and friendly every time you meet for his things.. tell him he can come over anytime to have a chat and then busy now too be active in posting it while being friendly to him.. Take this opportunity to be his positive source while striving to be the ungettable girl.. try a little jealousy moves too.. go out with groups of friends then post it

  4. Chas

    March 25, 2016 at 2:08 am

    Hey Chris! So my ex and I were together for a year and couple months. I’ve broken up wth him twice because I felt unappreciated. I also cheated on him and while we were broken up I slept with someone else. I feel terrible for the whole thing but I miss him. I regret the whole break up and I want him back. I’ve called and texted him. We’ve hung out and slept together, twice. I miss him and I’m on day 2 of the no contact but I don’t think is bothering him as much as it’s bothering me. I don’t know if he wants to be with me anymore and I’m not so sure on what to do. Please help.

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      April 2, 2016 at 12:10 pm

      Hi Chas,

      sorry for the late reply. How are you doign now?

  5. T

    March 24, 2016 at 7:57 am

    I’m struggling. Some of my family and friends are being so negative. They make me feel as if my ex was this super awful and evil person who has ulterior motives like my previous ex. I guess all they want to do is protect me, but I guess my question is how trustworthy are feelings? If you have a very deep feeling that you and your ex were very deeply connected like “soul mate” status, how trustworthy is that? I am trying my hardest to look at the relationship as a whole instead of blindly following my heart. I’m using my head too and I honestly feel like we were good together… the only problem was his anxiety and stress caused him to feel overwhelmed from school and our relationship. My goal after no contact is to approach things slowly and get to know him, but I am truly scared of being hurt. I guess I just have to get used to the idea of all the outcomes, I can’t get my self stuck in the idea that he thought of me the same way I thought of him. Maybe I should try dating other people in order to see if he truly was meant to be. See if those people give me the same feelings he gave me.

    It’s just been really hard at home because my friends and family make me feel awful for expressing any form of negative emotion. And they constantly make me look at the possible negatives which makes me feel anxious and not trust what he said to me… I’m just confused, but I think this feeling will subside once I get out of my depression funk.

    1. T

      March 24, 2016 at 8:21 am

      They just make me feel bad for feeling anything. šŸ™

    2. EBR Team Member: Amor

      April 1, 2016 at 4:20 pm

      HI T,

      Sorry for the late reply.. Well, we can’t avoid getting hurt because if not then that’s not love. Just remind yourself that your family’s opinion is out of their worry and that they have the freedom to express what they say and it’s always about what they think of you or him, it’s more from their worries. It’s a good sign that he’s viewing your blog, that means he misses you. I think you can just do 30 days.

  6. Kim

    March 11, 2016 at 11:28 am

    Hi Chris,

    What about break up due to age differences? My ex of 1 1/2 year broke up with me saying that my age took a toll on our relationship. We had an amazing relationship where we like the same thing, partners in the same sport (tennis), hardly fight. We share the same interests and spend everyday together. We had a very close bonded relationship. However, since I am so much older than he is. I was rejected by the family from the very beginning. We broke up a year ago but still see each other, the dynamic of the relationship never changed. He told me he wanted a family with kids and I am unable to give him that so he broke up with me. Recently I found out he met someone online and have been talking to her about a month and a half and went on three dates now. He now said he cares for me as a friend but we can’t talk to each other as we used to and that just broke my heart. I still love him so much . Chris what is the chance of him coming back to an older girlfriend instead of working on pursuing the new person whom is around his age and can give him what he wanted ??
    I’m hoping to hear from you soon. Thank you and I love all your posts. You really are working hard for women like me . Keep up the wonderful work.

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      March 11, 2016 at 12:39 pm

      Hi Kim,

      the main issue actually is about children..bur if he sees that he can get along better with you.. there’s a chance he will come back to you

  7. Cinthia

    March 7, 2016 at 3:20 pm

    My boyfriend and I were dating for 8 months then did long distance for 9 months. He broke up with me while we were long distance bc he said he fell out of love with me. He didn’t even really let me talk and said he didn’t want to physically see me because he’d get a false sense of making it work and want to give it another shot. I personally think he might be unaware of the whole honeymoon phase ending and that distance played a factor in it. We both believe that if it’s meant to be, it will be and he says that someday our paths may cross again and it’ll happen if it’s supposed to. We honestly never really had arguments so it came as a huge shock for both me and everyone around me. He says he loves me and cares about me but that he just doesn’t see it working anymore, that it’s just him. Thoughts????

    1. Cinthia

      March 8, 2016 at 7:24 pm

      Amor,
      Thanks for your response. Today marks day 6 since it happened and day 3 of no contact. I agree that it’s about being able to visit and it was pretty good, we saw each other about every 2 months and then when the split happened, it had actually been 4 months since we last saw each other. I just don’t know if there’s a chance bc of the distance. The thing is that I love him and I know that we could be as great if not greater than we were before, but ultimately, I know that if it doesn’t happen, I’ll be okay

    2. EBR Team Member: Amor

      March 8, 2016 at 12:56 pm

      Hi Cinthia,

      it’s really hard to do long distance.. you have to make a way to see other physically.. maybe the romance was gone because of the distance..how long have yoi broken up now, are you doing no contact?

  8. Michele

    March 6, 2016 at 2:53 am

    Hi there…My boyfriend and I were together for 15 months and for the past 6 months we lived together. It didn’t make sense for me to pay for my apartment when I was staying with him most of the time, so we decided I would just move in with him. We lived with his mother, his brother and his brothers girlfriend.. all in a 3 bedroom apartment. I have a lot of trust issues because when we first started dating, he broke up with me to be with someone else but after a month realized he was in love with me. Because of that, pretty much on my end has been nagging and calling a bunch if he doesn’t answer. About a month and a half ago, I suggested I move out because it just wasn’t working (us living together). He agreed and I said “if I move out, we’re done”. He didn’t want that but he didn’t really fight me on it, so I moved out within 2 hours. Fast forward to now, we’ve been seeing each other on and off but he said he doesn’t want to be in a relationship. He’s been bouncing from career to career and finally found something he’s serious about and wants to focus on it. I believe him because he’s gone from relationship to relationship but finally Thursday we saw each other and everything was great, he said he missed me, he was loving; he thinks I was out on a date Monday night and was asking a bunch of questions and seemed jealous and then said, “It’s none of my business do what you want.” I know he isn’t dating anyone else, so I really do believe he wants to be alone and figure out his life. Before we left each other I told him, “I know you’re not ready for a relationship again, but when you are I’d like to start over and not bring any trust issues into it; I know that I am partially at fault for us breaking up, I know it wasn’t easy me nagging and being untrustworthy and just when you’re ready..” and he didn’t really say anything (I wasn’t expecting him to, we both had to be at work in 5 minutes). I texted him yesterday about an event that I got an email about, just saying “Interested?” and haven’t heard from him. What do you think my chances are? I miss him so much, and I do want to start over with him. Thank you so much.

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      March 6, 2016 at 8:10 am

      Hi Michele,

      maybe he’s thinking about what you said..let’s guve him time first

  9. Daniela

    March 5, 2016 at 5:26 pm

    Hi!
    My ex boyfriend and i lasted 7 months and a week ago he broke up with me .Im 15 and he’s 16 and we really loved each other. On Friday we were so happy in the bus. He was hugging me and we laughed at stuff. But right when we got off the bus and started walking together. He wanted to hug me but i said no because i pretty much knew all the people from where we live and half of them were family members.Long story short my dad didn’t know i had a boyfriend. So i was secretly dating him and he got mad and told me that i should tell my dad because I’m 15 I’m allowed to date already. He was right i was allowed to date when I’m 15 but i just wasn’t ready to tell my dad yet because he’s really strict. I got mad at him and started walking away from him. We would always kiss at the corner of the street but we didn’t on Friday. Then later that day he texted me saying we should break up because he was tired of getting into arguments and also said he doesn’t love me the way he used to.That whole weekend i cried my eyes out i was so sad. I kept begging him to give me a chance but his answer wouId always be no. I asked him if he thinks we have a chance in the future and he said maybe .He has mixed feelings for me but i could tell he loved me because he would always be happy and always smiled.We would also plan our future and stuff. Now that were not together i can tell he changed he started to be a jerk and he’s hanging out with bad kids. He’s not happy anymore. He said we can still be friends but he barely talks to me in school not even at our bus stop.I asked him if we can still hang out in the future and he said of course. I think what he wanted was for i to tell my parents about him because they didn’t know i was dating and he would always wanted to hang out with me after school. I just wasn’t ready to tell my dad but i was planning too.And also something else he wants to be friends with benefits because he just doesn’t know what he wants he still has mixed feelings towards me. he also told me that he was moving to a different school and a different house and that he doesn’t want to be in a relationship. He really loved me he gave me presents on valentines day he went to my sweet 15 party also. So do you think we have a chance in the future?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      March 6, 2016 at 6:32 am

      Hi Daniela,

      it’s nice that he wants to meet your parents but if he wants to be friends with benefits, that means that’s really all he wants.. If he respects you, he should accompany you while you tell your parents or even if he cannot, he should wait..

  10. Daniela

    March 5, 2016 at 4:59 pm

    HI!
    Long story short. My ex boyfriend and i lasted 7 months and a week ago he broke up with me .Im 15 and he’s 16 and we really loved each other .the reason he broke up with me was because he was tired of getting into arguments and also said he doesn’t love me the way he used to. I asked him if he thinks we have a chance in the future and he said maybe .He has mixed feelings for me but i could tell he loved me because he would always be happy and always smiled. Now that were not together he changed he started to be a jerk and he’s hanging out with bad kids. he said we can still be friends but he barely talks to me in school not even at our bus stop.I asked him if we can still hang out in the future and he said of course. I think what he wanted was for i to tell my parents about him because they didn’t know i was dating and he would always wanted to hang out with me after school. I just wasn’t ready to tell my dad but i was planning too. So do you think we have a chance in the future?

  11. Amanda

    March 1, 2016 at 2:22 pm

    Hi there,

    My boyfriend broke up with me on Jan 30th (about a month ago). He has committment issues (40yrs old and never been in a relationship longer than a year) We had dated for a year, and he broke up with me a year ago. A few months after that he asked for me to forgive him and take him back – I did. Same thing happened. We got close to a year and he broke up with me. He said he can’t handle the responsibility of a kid (I have a 3yr old son) and he’s not ready to move in with me (neither am i!) About 2 weeks after the break up I slept with him (I initiated it) then I made the mistake of saying I wanted to talk to him about some things. He didn’t respond to that so I waited about a week and send him a text about why he should have talked to me. No response… so Yesterday I sent him a message trying to initiate sex (I should have looked for your website first….) The relationship itself was amazing. We never fought. We just had fun. It was easy and there’s no doubt in my mind that he cares/d about me. The break up took me and anyone I know completely by surprise. Anyways, What do you think my chances of getting him back are?

    Thanks,
    Amanda

    1. Amanda

      March 2, 2016 at 2:23 pm

      Well he told me he thought he could get over his issues if we took things slow. I trusted him to talk with me and work with me through his issues – not just run scared again. I’m in love with him. And I’d like nothing more than to get him back. But if it’s a bad idea then I need to figure out a way to cope with that. I’m just not sure I can.

    2. EBR Team Member: Amor

      March 1, 2016 at 4:53 pm

      Hi Amanda,

      I have to be frank, is it really a surprise if you knew he had commitment issues? and you went back with him,and then his pattern happened to you twice..

      I wanted to know what your expectations now are and why

  12. Jackie

    February 28, 2016 at 4:53 am

    My ex boyfriend and I broke up earlier this month. We were in a LDR and I lied about something pretty big, and when I came clean, he didn’t seem to mind. However, a few weeks later, he ended up breaking up with me because he felt like I took advantage of him emotionally and used him and he was upset about how long I had lied. I’ve tried to implement NC but every time I only make it about 5 days, and then I get anxious and upset, call him, bring us getting back together up, and I feel like I ruin it. He tells me I just need to give him “space and time to miss you” and that he starts to miss me, but I call and ask and bring it up so he doesn’t miss me anymore. The last time we talked was Thursday, but it makes it even worse and harder to not talk to him because he still says he loves and cares about me (he’s just not in love with me anymore because I lied/hurt him) and I’m going through some personal/family issues right now and he’s told me that he wants me to call him if something bad happens. The last time we talked I asked him if he thought once he got space/time we could work it out, and he said “I can’t even answer that honestly because we haven’t gone more than 5 days without talking to each other since we broke up, but I think if I got then, then we could work it out.”

    I’m really going to stick to NC now, even though there’s a lot going on and I would love to have him there for me, because over the past 3 weeks every time I bring “us” up he always asks me to just give him space/time, but I’m wondering if I still even have a chance because I kept bugging him??? I asked him if we were still ok the last time we talked and he said we were and that’s when I asked about “if you got space/time could we work on this” but I’m still really anxious and unsure.

    1. Jackie

      February 29, 2016 at 8:58 pm

      I know, I’m really committed to NC now, but do you think it’s worth it? I haven’t bugged him every day, but it’s been about 4 weeks since we broke up and I’ve called and begged us to get back together at least one day a week since the initial break up. He still says he wants space and time to miss me, and last time we talked when I asked him if he got that would we be able to work it out and he said he thought so, but I’m just wondering if I should just move on or wait it out.

    2. EBR Team Member: Amor

      March 1, 2016 at 2:59 pm

      Nc is actually recommended by others to move on.. it’s because the road to moving on and getting a person back is one and the same.. So, do this more for yourself.. and then asses after nc if you still want to try to get back with him

    3. EBR Team Member: Amor

      February 28, 2016 at 3:08 pm

      Hi Jackie,

      so would you rather continue talking to him or do nc? This may sound negative, but death is the only thing certain in this world.. You have you to choose which risk you want to take and face the consequences when you do… Be strong..

  13. Nat

    February 22, 2016 at 10:14 am

    Hi! First time here…
    Looking forward to get some help and honesty from you guys.

    So 4 months ago I started dating my high school crush who said had a crush on me too ever since we saw each other 7 years ago but we never made a move.
    (He has a 2yr old child from his last 5 yr relationship that ended months before we started dating. The woman cheated on him and moved with the third party. They maintain communication for parenting purposes.)

    He lives in FL and I live on a different state so our first dates involved him taking flights to my area.

    Ā Everything went well, both of our families were involved and it seemed like this could continue to a more formal relationship. He asked me to visit him on xmas break so we could bond better. I felt like I knew this person since we were born, it was a great pleasure being together. After spending December and January at his place, it was time for me to resume my responsibilities back at home… he asked me to stay with him and find a job nearby but I hessitated. So we talked about vacations together and to continue the long distance as always (mailed gifts, video calls, video dates, texts and so on). I could say I never felt more intimate with a man before and so happy.

    Two weeks after we were still communicating daily, everything seem normal. Last two days he would lay back and I was doing all the reaching, it never was like this… he would text and call all day long just because.
    Then it happened, out of nowhere February 13th he broke up with me. He explained that even when he loved me, he couldn’t manage being in a relationship at this moment in his life. He would leave me hanging a couple days then text me that he loved me, but when I tried to reason with him he would ignore me. I kept pushing through calls and texts for explanations and he told me in our last conversation that he never loved me, that I dont mean nothing to him in a kind of angry tone.
    I’ve done these past days all the big mistakes stated in this blog, but I decided to change course and go with the NC. Is it worth my time?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      February 23, 2016 at 11:30 am

      Hi Nat,

      yes it is worth your time.. Because nc aims for you to improve yourself.. so whether you get back together or not, you focus on yourself

  14. Alexa

    February 18, 2016 at 3:22 am

    My ex boyfriend and I broke up four months ago. He dumped me because he claimed that I didn’t make him happy and that he was too young to be in a serious relationship. That same week, I noticed that he was talking to many other girls, including a girl who cheated on him. I was devastated to hear about all of this so one night, drunken me decided to kiss his friend. My ex found out and completely flipped and when I reminded him of our anniversary coming up, he told me how he would be going to a hotel with many girls and that I should just wait and see. Well, he kept his word on that one. On what would have been our four year anniversary, he posted pictures on social media of him being at a hotel and in bed with other girls (lovely he has to publicly display this). I have been doing the no contact period and now it has been 35 days. He has not tried to contact me at all. Should I reach out or just give up?

    1. Alexa

      February 18, 2016 at 4:54 pm

      I know, but it’s just so hard. Do you think there are any ways I can catch his attention?

    2. EBR Team Member: Amor

      February 19, 2016 at 8:01 am

      yeah.. it may seem shallow but just improving your looks and then ignoring him will make him notice you

    3. EBR Team Member: Amor

      February 18, 2016 at 2:41 pm

      Hi Alexa,

      for me you should move on.. he acts as if he’s not the one who broke up and went to other girls in the first place

  15. Christina

    February 17, 2016 at 1:34 pm

    Am I in the general argument category?

    My ex-boyfriend and I had been together for approximately 15 months, and weā€™d had our ups and downs. The past six months, especially, were very difficultā€“it was a combination of him working very long hours over the summer and me feeling as though he didnā€™t care during that time, and me trying to reconcile my feeling of love for him with my feelings of hurt ever since August. During this time, I also both went on a medication, as well as went off a medication very recently, and that has helped boatloads. I was very anxious, very depressed, very snappy, not very nice. I believe I hurt him a lot the past couple of months.

    New Yearā€™s Eve he decided he was going to spend it with some friends last minute (we donā€™t live together and itā€™s a bit of a drive) and I got irrationally angry. I really have no idea if it was a combination of the medication I was on and alcohol, or pent-up negative feelings, or both, but I said awful things. And I mean really awful. When I woke up the next morning, I was absolutely horrified and I had absolutely no explanation for my behavior. We essentially broke up then, but continued to try to sort things out for another month. We talked, even hung out a few times, as though nothing had really happened, except it was tense.

    About two weeks ago, it became more official. He told me he had told some of his family members, and thatā€™s when it started to sink it. A week and a half ago we had our last conversation. He kept telling me he was really sorry, kept telling me that he loves me and cares very much for me. He sent me two texts the two days after that, but I didnā€™t respond. I didnā€™t know how to. The next day I tried to start a conversation and it didnā€™t go well. All I got was ā€œokā€. Friday night, I caved and texted him. No response.

    I donā€™t know whatā€™s going on, really, or what heā€™s thinking. I havenā€™t tried to contact him since Friday, and I havenā€™t heard anything from him. He told a mutual friend he just really didnā€™t think the relationship was healthy, that he loves me very much, but that heā€™s very busy with school at the moment and doesnā€™t want to talk about it.

    Iā€™m gradually becoming more clear-headed, but at the same time, I donā€™t feel any better. I miss him. He was my best friend. I had thought that maybe our timing was off, that maybe after we had grown individually a bit things would work out amazingly, but I need reassurance. I want a reset button. Iā€™m having trouble believing that heā€™s just gone all of a sudden. What are my chances? I need to have some kind of hope.

    Thank you all in advance. I appreciate it so very much.

    1. Christina

      February 19, 2016 at 7:45 pm

      Okay thank you for the clarification! You’ve been amazingly helpful šŸ™‚

    2. EBR Team Member: Amor

      February 20, 2016 at 8:29 am

      You’re welcome Christina!

    3. Christina

      February 18, 2016 at 11:45 pm

      So should I not even try?

    4. EBR Team Member: Amor

      February 19, 2016 at 10:34 am

      sorry the last message wasn’t complete.. I mean’t do nc to put yourself first.. to heal first and genuinely heal, so that when you try again, you know you’re emotionally ready

    5. EBR Team Member: Amor

      February 18, 2016 at 9:44 am

      Hi Christina,

      I think the relatuonship is toxic for him.. He might be thinking he’s tired of you being negative, whether it’s because of the medicines or not.. If you really want a reset button, do nc, make yourself emotionally stable first because you can reconnect later on, be kind and positive but what happens if you just explode because you’re just keeping it all in? I’m not saying you can’t be angry anymire but of course, it has to be rational

  16. Ashley

    February 14, 2016 at 1:17 am

    I have been doing extensive research on getting my ex back. We are both still in college, but we dated for 3 years 9 months. The past 3 months have been really bad. Lots of arguing and crying and stress. In December, we came home for winter break and it got really bad. He works and has lots of outdoor hobbies and has friends he likes to hang out with. I felt like he really wasn’t making time for me (which he wasn’t, which was really weird) and I don’t really have hobbies like I used to since Ive been in college (which I know caused problems now). I started to get really clingy and needy as a reaction to his behavior. (I didn’t realize at the time) A couple of weeks after this, he told me he wasn’t happy and wasn’t sure if he wanted to be with me anymore. I completely freaked out, and we discussed it and he said he’d stay and give it a shot. He told me he wanted no intimacy and that he was going to take it day by day and he wasn’t looking into the future right now. (Which I didn’t know what that meant, but I just went with it). So we went forward and I didn’t feel like anything was getting better. He was distant and cold, and didn’t really care about anything I told him. However, I stuck with it having hope that it would get better. It didn’t. I saw messages between him and another girl, much younger (they were flirting) and it broke my heart. He said they weren’t flirting, that they were just friends and nothing was going on. I was mad but I forgave him and kept pushing. He started to ignore my messages, didn’t want to talk about our relationship at all. On Monday, I drove an hour and half to see him and to surprise him with dinner. He wasn’t happy to see me at all. We ended up having dinner and it was super awkward as we talked about Valentines Day plans. After it was over, I went back to his apartment and he would barely talk to me. Finally he told me, he was no longer comfortable in our relationship. I begged and pleaded and made a complete fool out of myself. He said he still cared about me and loved me, but no longer cared about our relationship. I told him he was making a mistake, and he said probably so. (??) I left, and before i knew about the no contact rule, i texted him and asked if he still planned on coming this weekend (Idk why, i just did) He said if i wanted him to that he would. (i didn’t text him for the rest of the week, i honestly didn’t think he would show up). Well he showed up on Friday, much to my surprise. We met at a restaurant and talked. I apologized for making a fool of myself and he apologized for the way he talked to me and the things that he said. I asked him if he was okay with the choice that he made and he said “I don’t know. I honestly don’t know. Its only been about a week”. I apologized for some things I had done in the relationship. He said “if we are meant to be together it’ll happen, and if we aren’t then it won’t.” The whole time I could see it on his face that something was bothering him. At the end of our discussion, he said he wanted to take me out to dinner for Valentines Day. I neither accepted or declined. I don’t really know what to do. I do honestly want him back, but does he want me back? I don’t want to rush into anything, but should I get my hopes up? Everyone thought we were going to be the ones to get married, including all my friends, all his family. When I look in my future, I do want him to be in it. I love him, flaws and all. Prior to the past 3 months, we were very much in love. (We had arguments here and there, but nothing huge). I do think we needed some space, but I’m also scared he is going to move on. Any help would be greatly appreciated, because I am so lost.

    1. Ashley

      February 15, 2016 at 5:20 am

      Ok so update. We didn’t end up going to dinner. We went and hung out at a park. We had some small talk about how our weekends had been. Then he brought up the relationship. He said he thought about and he felt like he made the right decision at the time. He said that he’s relieved that he doesn’t have to argue or stress or worry about it anymore, but he doesn’t like being alone either, but that he’s done it before. He then said but how am I to know that Ill think that I made the right decision 2 months down the road. He said he still wanted to be friends with me, but not in a relationship right now…to which i responded ” I don’t know if us being friends would be such a great idea. I still have feelings for you, which you already know” and he said “I still have feelings for you too and care about you a lot, but I don’t want to be in a relationship with you”. So i just said okay, i understand. He just continued to say that he thinks he made the right decision at the time, but he didn’t know how he would feel later on. I asked if he thought the problems that we had were fixable, and he said yes he thinks that they are. We ended on that note, told each other Happy Valentines Day and left. What should I do? I don’t want to be just friends with him obviously.

    2. EBR Team Member: Amor

      February 16, 2016 at 6:07 am

      but you’re not right? You’re starting out as friends to go slowly, to attract him back

    3. EBR Team Member: Amor

      February 14, 2016 at 6:51 am

      Hi Ashley,

      Hmmm, it’d be better to advuce after your valentines dinner.. but if you’re going..live in the moment and enjoy it. Other girls would love to have your position

  17. Tess Brookes

    February 7, 2016 at 10:04 pm

    My boyfriend and I had the most wonderful relationship. I absolutely worshiped the ground he walked on. I guess this is where the issues started. I never felt worth his love, even though people told me that he was “punching above his weight” with me. My own insecurities got the better of me and I ended up checking his phone due to my own paranoia that he was going to leave me. Bad move on my behalf and I confessed to doing it straight away. My boyfriend used this as an excuse to break up with me, however admitting a few weeks later that he forgave me and it was actually the fact that he just lost feeling for being in a relationship with anyone that led him to break up with me. He told me post break up that I’m his soulmate and although he doesn’t see us getting back together now, he can’t comment on the future. We still talk everyday and after we broke up we have met up twice and both times have kissed, its been a month now since we broke up but I still feel the exact same I did. Am I being treated for a mug or do you think there is hope for us? I’m at a complete loss and don’t know how to move forward. He truly is the love of my life.

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      February 8, 2016 at 8:21 am

      Hi Tess,

      Basically it’s the fact that you love him too much and you have less for yourself. You never felt his love because you don’t give it to yourself. You’re getting it from him. If you’re going to do nc, you have to focus more on seeing your self worth. That no matter how hot or great a guy is, he has to treat you how you would want to be treated, that is loved, wanted and respected. The relationship has to be equal.

  18. Ave

    February 4, 2016 at 7:02 pm

    Hello, my ex and I broke up about a week ago. for the last little bit all we have done is fight. He has something extremely stressful going on in his life at the moment, a month ago when he thought it was all over and done with and things were fine he really opened up to me explaining when he gets stressed he pushes people away and that I always need to keep in the back of my mind that he loves me. About 3 days later he found out the situation wasn’t resolved and was coming up again on the 16th of Feb. which is when things started going down hill, he stopped really talking to me and doing all the things he used to. About a week ago we broke up and he told me he just isn’t ready for commitment and that right now all he can handle is us casually dating… But when I told him no he would still contact me and showed up at my house a few times finally I said I would do that then didnt talk to him for two days and he sent me 3 messages over text. I need to know if I have a chance of getting him back

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      February 5, 2016 at 10:01 am

      Hi Ave,

      These are the scnarios that are probable to happen.

      1) You implement no contact and he realizes that he needs take you seriously because you were true to your word that you don’t want a casual relationship.

      2) If you give in, these cycle will continue

      3) If he gives up after no contact, it’s because he really can’t commit. That doesn’t there’s something wrong with you. It’s just that he is serious about having casual dates only

  19. Amy

    February 2, 2016 at 9:22 pm

    Hello!
    My ex boyfriend and I broke up because he wasn’t ready to fully commit, being in his mid 20’s (I am in my later 20’s), and basically wanted to explore his options. We were in a serious relationship for 2 1/2 years, now he contacts me constantly for physical needs as a FWB. I keep turning him down but obviously it’s hard to do. He is not in a serious relationship with anyone else , he has a different girl he is also FWB with but I am in a new relationship. Of course, I am still in love with my ex… We have been broken up now for 8 months. Do you think we have a chance at our relationship again?
    Thanks!

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      February 3, 2016 at 2:53 pm

      Hi Amy,

      if you are in a relationship right now, and you were still continuing to be FWB with him, don’t you think you’re being unfair with your current boyfriend? If you really still love your ex boyfriend break up with your current boyfriend whether or not to get your ex boyfriend back. And also, you have to be firm on not continuing to be his FWB. not only do you put yourself in a difficult position but you’re also lessening the chances of getting him back with you seriously.

  20. Nubia

    January 30, 2016 at 8:00 pm

    Well, my ex boyfriend cheated on me and he was the one to break up with me… One day I text him and he says he wants to be with me, the next day he’ll say he doesn’t want to ne with me.
    Last night he was texting my sister and told her flat out that he plainly just doesn’t want to be with me, when he told me he did… It’s so confusing. I haven’t personally had any contact with him in three days but it gets hard to not talk to him. I just want to call him and run to him, but I stop myself. It takes a lot of effort. Whenever we talk, there’s always a different response. It gets exhausting. I started 40 daya no contact, but I don’t know how to approach him after the 40 days are up. He keeps saying that he just doesn’t want to be with me and found some one new….

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      January 31, 2016 at 4:33 am

      Hi Nubia,

      I think it’s too early to think about what after NC. Focus on making the NC period for yourself first. By his actions, he’s saying a different thing to you because it’s like he just doesn’t want to totally lose connection to you. Like, he wants to keep you at arm’s length which is unfair for you of course.

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