Do You Have A Chance At Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back?

699 thoughts on “Do You Even Have A Chance At Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back? Let’s Find Out!”

Bella

September 15, 2015 at 10:00 am

Hey Chris
Thanks for the post , I’ve learnt something new today. My question would be, How much of a shot do I stand at getting a “friends with benefits” guy back. I broke up with him because I started developing feelings, well to be honest, I’ve always had a crush on him. So one day i was walking in front of him and he approached me and well instead of being patient i jump right into bed with him. We only slept together three times. So i ended it before it started. I confessed my feelings to this guy after a month, he was impressed that i had the guts to tell him but he ended up giving me a long story about how relationships become complicated and that he doesn’t want to get his feelings hurt again since he was in a serious relationship before. He kicks his feelings out. I haven’t talked to him since then. He greets me whenever we bump into each other at varsity. I`m 21 and he is 25. He is an amazing guy and i honestly think we are compatible i just think he doesn’t realizes that. A thought that haunts me is that he gave me that excuse cause he has a girlfriend. So what do I do? Be as truthful and harsh as possible lol.
Thank You
Nandini

September 15, 2015 at 2:57 am

Hi Chris,

I am new to your website (for an obvious reason) and I am really enjoying your well written articles. My story is a bit different and I’m not sure if I stand a chance or not, I would like you to tell me that (if you have time 🙂 ). Here goes my story:

In 2010, I met this guy after college and we were instantly connected .. .then after two years of dating, he felt like he couldn’t really do it anymore because he didn’t have a job and had to move out of the city. So, we broke up. And I just let him go because I thought this was the best thing to do. And when I called him again after a couple of months, he told me he was dating someone else and it was really over. So, I said best of luck and didn’t call him after that.
3 years went by and I met a guy and started dating him. I also started working and moved on. But, whenever I felt happy or sad, it was my old boyfriend I thought about. I wasn’t obsessing over him but it felt like it would have been great with him.
Now, my current boyfriend turned out to be a control freak and I wanted to get out of this relationship and then all of a sudden a common friend mentioned that my old boyfriend once said that he would never get a girl like me again. . .
So, I thought I may still have a chance and called him up after 3 years and he was really surprised and happy to hear my voice. He didn’t wanna keep the phone down and we chatted for 40 minutes. Then he said that he was coming to the city and would like to meet me.
You can imagine how happy it made me feel. He also texted me at night that he was really happy that I called.
Then we met and he told me about his life, his career and how we still had so much in common. He also told me that he has all my letters and paintings in his house.
And then I ruined it by saying that I had a boyfriend I was intending to marry 🙁
I just said it before he informed me about his girlfriend and when I asked about her, he said, ‘oh it was over long time ago’
I felt like hitting myself on the face.
But it was done and he has been avoiding me since then. He doesn’t call. When i text him, he just replies in one sentence.
And I broke up with my current boyfriend and when I told him about it, he didn’t react at all. .
Have I lost him forever once again?
Rachel

September 14, 2015 at 8:28 pm

Hi Chris.
My boyfriend and I just broke up. We were together for a year and three months. I went to college and he is a junior in high school. I didn’t move away I think it’s just the fact that we don’t see each other everyday like we did for pretty much my entire senior year. He broke up with me and told me that the reason why is because he wants to focus on school and band and becoming unstressed and he ultimately fell out of love with me. He also said he can’t handle arelationship right now. What was strange was that he still complimented me while he was in the process of breaking up with me. He told me I still think you’re pretty and smart and funny and wonderful and you didn’t do anything wrong and there is nothing more you could have done. He even gave me hope by saying who knows what will happen in a few months. I was wondering if I should give it another chance or not. This was an extremely devastating breakup to me because he was the only guy to ever say I love you and prove it to me, I really want to try again. I am more than willing to do whatever it takes because I truly love him. I would do and give anything to have him back. So I guess my questions are these: Do I have any chance at getting him back even though he fell out of love with me? How long should I do the no contact rule for? And how do I keep him if I get him back? (since he is still in high school and all)
Rumeysa

September 14, 2015 at 6:09 pm

Hey Chris,

Me and my ex-boyfriend have been together for almost 1 year and it has been the best year of my life.. We were both so happy and were even planning on moving in together! This summer my ex-boyfriend had some problems within the family and wanted time for himself, but I could not give him that. So a couple weeks later he decided to break up with me. He said that he had fallen out of love and that he doesn’t want to get back together. I’m going to be honest here, I begged for him back and said it would be different this time, but he wanted to be just “friends”. He said he still loved me, but it wasn’t the same anymore. We talked as ” friends” for a while, but then I found this amazing website! Now, i’m currently in the No contact Rule for almost 1 week now. I started with so much confidence, but now i’m not so sure anymore. He went on a Holiday to Morroco, but he planned this months ago. I see him having so much fun via instagram and snapchat and it bothers me how good he is doing. I’m scared that he’ll move on and we will never get back together. I have this question for you Chris, do I still have a chance?
Chris

September 14, 2015 at 11:44 am

PERFECT relationship from day 1-every single aspect! Not one red flag or complaint We are both mid 40’s. Four months in after spending three amazing days together for my birthday I sense something is up. He’s very polite over text but avoiding nonetheless. Four days of that and he sends me an email saying that there was a woman he had a connection with before he met me. It ended for reasons he didn’t know and she has recently reached out to him and he needs to see if there is anythinig there. I replied with a very upbeat, classy email. He replied with how much he cares about me and how amazing I am and how mature and that he never felt so special with someone and will never forget me. Apologized for being a coward and selfish for using email to do something that I totally deserved a face to face with. I’m at 31 days no contact and I’m missing him so. I have no way of finding out of he is in a relationship. We live an hour away. No mutual friends. No social media. I was thinking of the “I have a confession” text at around 45 days. I guess I’m afraid of no response and that setting me back to the beginning in feeling rejected and dumped all over again.
Leila

September 14, 2015 at 3:29 am

Hi Chris!
My boyfriend and I just recently got into a big fight about him not having any balance in his life when it comes to spending time with me. This is our 3rd big fight this year over something that could easily be solved. Anyways, I found a solution to the problem, sent him an apology and everything, and he refuses to talk to me. I texted him yesterday and said “I love you” followed by a goodnight text. He responded with “I love you” and “goodnight”. I should have stopped there buuuuuut… I didn’t. I then asked him if he wants me to stop texting him and he just replies with a “goodnight”. Today, I didn’t text him at all. It was surprisingly easy compared to the lack of self control I had yesterday. I didn’t post on social networks either and I’m thinking about continuing both no contact and no social media until he responds.
Anyways, he’s never behaved like this and it’s kinda throwing me into a panic. At the same time, I know how upset AND stubborn he is. I always end up contacting him after 2 days. If my boyfriend doesn’t contact me this week should i just assume we broke up? (We haven’t gone more than 3 days without contact). Thanks!
datruevine

September 8, 2015 at 2:50 pm

hi Chris I hope you can help, my ex has been trying to break up with me for a while I’ve been doing everything possible to not let this happen but there has been times we broke up for a couple of days and one time a couple of weeks and i was always the one putting it back together. This time he use mind games to make me mad and start an argument and when I thought everything was good he end up telling me that he can’t do this anymore. Anyways, I end up going to his house two days later and a female car was parked in his driveway, so I banged on the window came back 2 hours later and band on the window again and no answer. I called and his phone went to the answering machine but when I called later it just rang and I didn’t leave a voicemail. Tell me how can I get my boyfriend back or does he really want to even be bothered with me.
Katie

September 6, 2015 at 6:11 am

Dear Chris,
Me and my ex boyfriend have been together for 3 years and had been interested in each other on and off since we were 14. Within the past 2 months we have been on and off he broke up with me and I would come back and tell him how it can be different and why we weren’t working then he would agree to get back and quickly change his mind. The reason now he recently told me is that he just felt guilty and didn’t want to hurt my feelings but he needs to be alone and work on himself and his depression. But he was talking to. This younger girl that has a lot in common with him that he likes. He has it talked to her much lately but I’m afraid during the nc rule when he sees her he will get closer to her because I am out of the picture. They are meeting up at a concert at theend of the month. He says he still loves me misses me and part of him wants to be with me but still does not want to get back together. When we were hanging out having good days they were great but if I brought up our status it turned for the worse. Do I still have a chance?and should I worry about this girl during the no contact rule? I also am afraid if he does constantly blow up my phone and I don’t answer he will get angry and move on.
Chris

September 3, 2015 at 6:18 pm

PERFECT relationship from day 1-every single aspect! Not one red flag or complaint We are both mid 40’s. Four months in after spending three amazing days together for my birthday I sense something is up. He’s very polite over text but avoiding nonetheless. Four days of that and he sends me an email saying that there was a woman he had a connection with before he met me. It ended for reasons he didn’t know and she has recently reached out to him and he needs to see if there is anythinig there. I replied with a very upbeat, classy email. He replied with how much he cares about me and how amazing I am and how mature and that he never felt so special with someone and will never forget me. Apologized for being a coward and selfish for using email to do something that I totally deserved a face to face with. I’m at 31 days no contact and I’m missing him so. I have no way of finding out of he is in a relationship. We live an hour away. No mutual friends. No social media. I was thinking of the “I have a confession” text at around 45 days. I guess I’m afraid of no response and that setting me back to the beginning in feeling rejected and dumped all over again.

Chris

September 15, 2015 at 8:11 pm

I did repost again and it once again says awaiting moderation
Chris

September 3, 2015 at 6:22 pm

Your program is amazing BTW!!!
Chris Seiter

September 12, 2015 at 1:31 am

Thanks!

Sorry did I moderate your comment already?

If not repost it and we will see what we can do about getting it answered.

Nicole

September 2, 2015 at 6:41 am

Hi Chris
My bf broke up with me because he was feeling overwhelmed with school and when I asked if he ever wanted to get back together, he said he doesn’t know. He has completely ignored me since we broke up (I tried calling to clarify exactly what he was doing because I was unsure of why he had to break it off with me). We have been apart for about a month and I did text him once two weeks in, but now I have not talked to him at all for two weeks and I do not plan to talk to him right now. I am trying to decide if I should try to make him jealous or not in the situation we are in. I feel like trying to make him jealous may either make him desire me more or make him think that we are better apart. Any thought?
Elena

September 1, 2015 at 7:47 pm

My Relationship started 4 to 5 years ago. We where both in high-school, both naive and inexperienced, with life, with sex, but him a lot more so than I. We are each others firsts. We are even engaged, just never tied the knot. We had some rocky times, mainly stemming out of inexperience, but it was never anything we couldn’t handle… Until now.

About a year ago, my ex-friend, lost custody of her child. Wanting to do the right thing, and both of us knowing this kid since she was born I went about the process of taking custody. Long story short, my friend probably isn’t getting custody of her child back, and whether or not the bio-dad will straighten up his act and be capable of raising her is questionable. The goal has always been re-uniting their family and not starting my own. However as you can imagine I have grown attached to this child and I believe he has too.

Suddenly with the end of one parent’s chance to redeem herself coming to a close, he has started to entertain the idea of breaking up with me and has actually done so or should I say attempted? He says he loves me and doesn’t want to leave me but he doesn’t want a kid, at least not right now. The kid isn’t even a definite yet! The bio-dad looks promising even though his track record is bad…

I delayed the break-up ONE DAY by having a total meltdown. Like full-out, everyone leaves me, no one loves me, meltdown. It wasn’t planned, it was just my reaction. Have I mentioned this is my first actual relationship? However, the next day, he never came home from work. He went to his mother’s house without even telling me what was going on. So I proceeded to find out he was safe, then sent him a gazillion text messages throughout the day because I have no self-restraint apparently. He however had me blocked anyway. :/

He dropped off the rent money and during that time he came to see me. I woke up to him petting my head. We had a talk while we waited for the bank to open, and I informed him I wasn’t giving up on this relationship until I saw effort out of him to try to work through the problem instead of running away from it.

Problems:
Money / Better budgeting
Alone time / Vast array of free baby sitters
Not wanting to make a lifelong commitment to being a parent / Possibility that bio-dad would be doing that because it’s all up in the air.

He tried to dissuade me, told me he didn’t think I’d put up this much of a fight, tried to push me away. He told me he didn’t want to leave me but he had to. He said he wasn’t sure we where right for each other, we have both changed so much. That I couldn’t meet his needs sexually (That was designed to hurt my feelings more so than I think it was true.) and that he’d already told everyone he knows that he is breaking up with me.

Finally, I got him to agree to go to the therapy session he had agreed to go to the day before, but that session is 10 days away. I really think he’s just scared of having a kid, like deathly scared. I think that with some changes we can make this work again and I’m not ready to scrap our relationship. I truly believe this is the man I was destined to be with forever or I wouldn’t have had sex with him in the first place…. in my attempts not to turn into a young, single mother…. like every other woman in my family. Haha Irony.

Anyway, what do you think my odds are?
OH! And I already asked him to text me when he get’s home from work since he works third shift and has to drive tired a lot and he said he’s gonna. How would that and the therapy work with the no contact rule? Just keep it minimal and polite?

Elena

September 3, 2015 at 3:33 pm

Today he told me we aren’t broken up he’s just living somewhere else for now. He left all his stuff at my house besides the important stuff. I want him home. 🙁 I feel like he’s leaving me. I’m just so confused. I forwarded him messages from Bio-dad about how he’s trying hard to get his daughter back, the two year old that is the root of our problem apparently.

A two year old that my BF encouraged to call him daddy and she does and now here he is abandoning her like this. :-/

I just can’t wait for therapy on the 11th. I really hope it helps.

Sandy

September 1, 2015 at 3:58 pm

Hi Chris,

Can i know why my ex boyfriend still want to make me his other gf although he already have an official gf? Five month ago, he angry with me and block me on fb because i told his girlfriend about me and his relationship. The reason i did this because i get annoyed to being his other gf and feel more jealous and angry about their relationship. When i told him that he just want an official bf that truly loves me and i wont be his other gf and hooked up with him anymore, He getting more angry and saying if i make his gf cried again he will did something on me. We solve this issue by im telling his gf that im lied and he will make up other story about that issue. After we solved the issue, he say sorry to me and he say he not going out with me anymore. I feel disappointed about that i blocked him again. When i had lost my phone ago, i’m only realized that i really like him and i dont want to lose him again. I want him back but i dont know how and is it right to do so or i just forget about it and move on ?
Monica

August 31, 2015 at 8:10 pm

Hey Chris
Is it possible that a guy will understand this honeymoon period will end in all relationships, but without having another relationship?

Monica

September 2, 2015 at 3:55 pm

Because my ex was talking about ‘expecting more from a relationship’ than the one he had with me. It was just like your descreption of the honeymoon period… Is it worth the try to do the 30 days NC etc?
Chris Seiter

September 2, 2015 at 3:31 am

I think logically he can understand it but emotionally he might need more experience to understand it.

Joana

August 31, 2015 at 12:10 am

Hey there, Chris. I have been reading your articles for quite a while, but finally I decided I should share my story with you because every relationship is unique and I could really use some advice from an expert like you. Even if you might have dealt with thousands of cases that are the exact copy of mine, I would really appreciate if you could give me your help and your opinions.

So here’s the thing:

Me and my ex boyfriend (both 20 years old) had a relationship for 19 months. We’re both college students in the same city (but in different institutes), and so during summer breaks our relationship becomes kind of a long distance one (30 kilometers: 45 minutes-1 hour, sometimes 30 minutes driving, depending on the traffic), and when college starts again we’re pretty close to each other. Nevertheless, distance was never a problem for us. Even when we were missing each other, we always had loving and romantic ways of supporting each other. We were very intimate and very close to each other.

So let’s get to the point. 3 weeks ago, I went from hearing “My angel… How sweet you are. I love you so much.” to “I don’t love you anymore”. Yup, from night to day. Literally, believe me. And so he broke up with me, leaving me with a broken heart and with a pain that won’t subside. That day, I begged, pleaded, cried almost all day to him, but it seemed that his heart turned to stone. I went to the hospital at the end of the day with heart attack signs, spent the night there, and returned.

He didn’t care to reach out to me to see how I was, knowing that my life was in danger, not because I wanted, but because I am a bit prone to cardiac issues. He ignored me, even though he said “Of course I care about you, and of course I read everything you said!” before I went offline. His reasons for breaking up? I’ll quote him:

“You’re not the same anymore. You changed. You’re not the girl I fell in love with. I don’t love you anymore. All you care about is you and only you. You only want to talk about your problems. You never care to ask me how I am or how my mom is. You become cold if the subject of the conversation isn’t about you and your dramas. You never send a good morning text first, I have to be the one doing it all the time. I can’t do this anymore. I’m done. I don’t want to go back to you. Now give me space.”

Sure, he’s right. I could have been more supportive to him. I recognize that now, even if it’s too late. But don’t think that I am the villain, as he has told everyone around him. He had his share of mistakes too. Most of the times, I had to be the one asking “When can we be together? Are you free tomorrow?”. He did ask some times too, like in a 45:55 ratio. But I had to be the one doing the trip almost all the times. Sure, it was easier for me to do it than for him, but maybe, if he really wanted, he could do an effort to come to my place more times. But I didn’t mind going to his place. I studied nearby, so it wasn’t much of a problem to me. Also, I was insecure whenever he went out with his friends. But I didn’t put any fights. I simply stopped communication with him every time he went out with someone. And he would get angry sometimes… “You didn’t talk to me all day! Why?”

So this is day 23 of my NC period. Ever since he destroyed my heart, he didn’t talk to me. Not a single text, nothing. But he hasn’t blocked me. He said that we could be friends, but honestly, I don’t think we’re even close to that. Not right now. Also, he’s changed a bit. He was a guy that was quite discrete on his Facebook. He didn’t upload a lot of stuff. Now, he fills his profile with pictures he takes (he is really into photography), since he recently created a Instagram account.

Look, from the moment I met him I knew that he was the one. I don’t know if he misses me or if he’s still dwelling on those bad memories. I don’t know if he still loves me or if he’s giving it his all to forget about me. He deleted all our anniversary photos… All I know is that every time we were together, I was having the time of my life. And he was too.

Never for a moment I wasn’t willing to work things out with him. But this time he didn’t give me a chance. And so here I am, left with a broken heart. But don’t think I spent 23 days sitting on the couch! I improved myself. What I was already good at, I am better. I’m working out. I’m one hell of a woman! But deep down, I’m still fragile.

So, what do you think of my case? I mean, I want him back. I do not need him, but I love him. One part of me wants to contact him, but the other says “What’s the point? He’s going to ignore you, no matter how many interesting things you have to say. Let him be for some more time.” I’m almost sure he won’t contact me if I don’t do it first…

I hope I can hear from you as soon as you can. Again, I could really use your help. 🙂

Sorry for the long comment. I wish I could give you a potato, hahahah.

Anonymous

September 6, 2015 at 2:42 am

I was reading through comment section and this case is kinda the same as mine, from night to day, he went from trying his best to make me happy to saying “I need to end this relationship” and “I don’t have feelings for you anymore”. I found this odd because everything was normal but being somewhat hard because of my clingy attitude. Difference here was that I was very, very supportive to him, I didn’t mind texting him first at mornings, checking up on him, that stuff, because we were long distance. But also because we were long distance I was awfully clingy and needy, and I’m sure that’s what pushed him away from me. Everything was fine one week, I started a fight out of the blue because I thought he was hiding something from me, which he wasn’t doing, and he broke up with me the very next day, it was hurtful because aside of those reasons, he also said “we have an extremely long distance between us and I think I can’t do nothing to solve it”, always being polite and saying his decision wasn’t my fault, although I’m sure it was, at least for the most part. I’m on day 1 of NC because last night I got drunk and talked to him, so I had to reset the period. He was very kind last night but this morning he totally ignored me. I really feel that he won’t contact me as well during this period, although he said he wanted us to be friends and keep contact. I’m very afraid that he doesn’t want me back. He’s a very good and worthy man, and I screwed up, so if you ever get a reply or a good plan to have him back I’d be so grateful if you could share your experience with me.

Raina

August 30, 2015 at 8:04 pm

I was with my ex for 3 yrs. we have a 2 yr. old son together. He was also a big part of my older sons life (nonbio). He left us almost 2 months ago saying things like we always fight (he thinks talking is fighting), we’re 2 different people, blah blah blah. He came here to talk to me about a week after we split and he was hugging, me kissing my forehead, making out with me kind of crying. Telling me he does love me and still attracted to me. The next day he was seen at a festival with his 2 other kids and a younger girl. He’s 40 she’s 26. Come to find out its a girl that works with him. I did some detective work and found out they had been talking/texting for a couple months. He will not admit to cheating but emotional is just as bad. He won’t admit to that either. He finally admitted to having a girlfriend just recently because I really called him out on it. Anyway when we first split he kept saying “for now it’s better” “maybe in the future” “never say never”. Yes, I did all the wrong things after we split. I guess my question is is it even worth trying at this point? Should I really just walk away and move on completely? Thank you for your time.

Raina

August 30, 2015 at 8:07 pm

I forgot to mention. He took that girl to his parents how right away and some other family function.

Rachelle

August 30, 2015 at 5:38 pm

Hello Chris,

My ex of 3 years ended things because of the distance, though we only live 2 hours by train from one another so I believe it is doable. I’m trying to adopt the 30 day no contact rule and look forward to finding out how I can rekindle our relationship again. Do you think it’s possible, do you have any more sections on how to get back an ex of a long distance relationship?

Chris Seiter

September 2, 2015 at 4:02 am

Sure, I even recommend 30 days NC for LDR’s

Ann

August 29, 2015 at 1:09 am

Do I still have a chance? We were together for 9 months but broke up at the 7 month mark because he found out that I had cheated on him in the beginning of the relationship. I begged and broke all the rules for nc for a month but got him back for two months. During those two months we fought a lot due to both our insecurities (him from the cheating and me from the break up) and I ended it last month. I’ve been in nc for 33 days, is there still a chance? If yes, what should I do? Please help!

Chris Seiter

August 30, 2015 at 3:35 pm

Yes there is still a chance but you will have to follow the guide on Getting Your Ex Back If You Cheated.

Sam

August 27, 2015 at 3:34 pm

I hope you can help!

I dated this guy for almost 3 years. All that time he would tell me I was perfect, and he couldn’t wait to get married. He bragged to his friends about me, and when I met them they wished they could find someone like me. He was offered a job four months ago, 1000 miles away, and it was too good to pass up. He tried to take me with him, but couldn’t because we weren’t married. He was really upset about it, but couldn’t find any loop holes. We agreed we could make a LDR work; I planned on flying there twice a month. He said in six months, I would have a ring on my finger. The first two visits were fine. We skyped/ texted daily, we knew everything that was happening between us. Four days before my longest trip, 18 days, he texts that he doesn’t feel the same, he’s not ready for marriage and “didn’t have the marriage feel” about me, and that I shouldn’t come, we were over. I said I would at least like to get my things, and he agreed. Three days before, he got drunk with some friends. He texted me for two hours while I was asleep saying how I had a perfect body, was the best girlfriend ever, and that he wanted me to visit the full planned time. I did. He was polite, touchy-feely, which was something he never really did. He bought me dinner a few times, and a stuffed sea turtle (my favorite). I cooked dinners and made his lunches. We’d watch movies at home and would play with my hair, and pet me, something he only does “When he really loves someone.” It was like we never broke up. I’ve been home for a month, and we still talk almost daily. We made plans for a October/November visit, but I’m very confused about how things are. Its like we’re dating without the label. All of his friends who took the move are now either straight up getting married, or are getting engaged. I’m wondering if he regrets his choice. I’m wondering if a NC would work, forcing him to see that, yes, I’m the one he wants. Thanks to his job as well, there is no time openings for him to date, or really spend time with his friends, so he might just be lonely and I’m a pillow to comfort him. Please help?

Chris Seiter

September 2, 2015 at 2:59 am

Read the post on LDR’s.

Sarah

August 24, 2015 at 6:29 pm

Hi Chris,

So firstly I must say he has never been my boyfriend.

When we first met (nearly 3 years ago), he had a girlfriend but we became close friends. They broke up over a year ago and then he started to show interest in me but I never really gave anything back as I wasn’t interested and only saw him as a friend. Recently he admitted to me, one of the reasons he split up with his girlfriend was because he had feelings for me (which he never told me).

Around christmas I agreed to go for dinner with him which was really lovely. Then in January we slept together, still then he was the one more interested in me by him contacting me, asking to do things etc. This then switched, I got mad at him and said we couldn’t be anything cause I’d get hurt etc. He then said we will see how things go over summer when I am home from university. During this time we went on a few drives, hooked up again, we went on a day trip together and he said he really loved spending time with me etc.

Then after this he became colder and a bit more distant (he’s never been overly affectionate), and again we both agreed the sleeping together needs to stop. But once again shared another night together that was very intense and I think left us both a little confused.

After a while of not getting much response, I told him that it has to be more than it is or it has to be over. He then told me that something big is going on in his life which he can’t tell me about.. We have had many discussions about this, and still nothing makes sense to me. He says one day he hopes he can tell me but right now he can’t.

Again, yet again we slept together a few times. But still having the same discussion (slightly heated) about why he can’t be with me because of this thing that is going on. He said he can’t give me any more because he can’t put 100% into it and it wouldn’t be fair, but he is not ruling anything out for the future.

Anyway, the last time we spoke he didn’t reply and then text the next day saying sorry he was really busy but didn’t reply again after a few texts. That was around 10 days ago and we haven’t been in touch since.

He has a very busy life and literally no free time, however people always say if someone wants to you, they will make the effort.
So just feel slightly confused as to where I stand and what to do.

P.s. the ‘big thing’ in his life is not that he has gotten another girl pregnant or that he has a health problem or anything. It relates to his family, but is apparently really ‘f**king him up’.
Claire

August 23, 2015 at 9:34 pm

Hi Chris,
I was with my ex on & off for about 1 Year and 6 months. We got back together February and he broke up with me in July. I was upset about him not visiting me when he was in town , sent a long message expressing how angry I was…I later apologized. He asked for a break after reading the apology. We were in university together, he finished this year and I’m in my final year. We used to live in the same country , but his family relocated to another continent last year. We had promised each other we were going to try the long distance thing.
I successfully completed the 30 no contact. I must admit the first text wasn’t inviting..sent him “hey..’ . The next day I got really worked up and asked him if we were done since he asked for a break and didn’t say we were broken up , he read my message and never responded. Two days ago I sent him a message apologizing for the things I was guilty of during the course of our relationship , as usual he read the message and never replied( wasn’t expecting him to though). I decided to start no contact again. I really don’t know what to do anymore . Any advice please ???
Eagerly awaiting your reply , 😀

Elena

September 2, 2015 at 5:26 pm

I’m not Chris, but it sounds like you didn’t read the part about re- initiating contact correctly.

You aren’t supposed to send an empty text which I see you already know was a problem.
Instead of “Hey” you should try something more meaningful that could initiate a conversation that reminds him of fun times.
“I was couch surfing last night and ended up flipping to our favorite show. Did you know season 2 has started already!”

You also aren’t supposed to make them negative, like reminding him why you broke up in the first place even if it’s to apologize. I definitely recommend you re-read the part about starting up contact again.

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