Can The No Contact Rule Work If You've Been Blocked?

91 thoughts on “Does No Contact Work If Your Ex Has You Blocked?”

Jayne

December 3, 2019 at 7:11 am

Hi
I was dumped because my ex and i weren’t working. we’ve broken up and got together multiple times due to arguments and he had enough. since the break up they have been contacting me a lot but sometimes he would say he loves me, other times his friends would get in his head and he would say he didn’t have romantic feelings at all, but he still wants to talk to me. when he’s with me he’s very interested but when he hasn’t seen me for a while he’s not as interested. recently he’s completely rejected me saying at the moment it won’t happen because it will never work but i don’t know if he means it or not. today i started a no contact, but will the NC actually accomplish anything? Thanks.

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

December 6, 2019 at 6:41 pm

Hi Jayne so when relationships are on and off again all the time, it is common for them to get back together but the problem is making the changes that is needed so that you stay together, working out why you are always on and off again and what causes it. So read up about the ungettable girl, and try to find a consistent reason your relationship ends with your ex

Anon

November 27, 2019 at 6:18 am

Hello Everyone!

My boyfriend broke up with me 6 days ago after being together for 5 years. He said he broke up with me for another woman, and because he thinks I don’t have enough ambition in life. She is a woman he was friends with for about 2 months before our breakup, and he did not know her previous to the breakup. He said he did not sleep with her or kiss her while we were still together, because he at least had enough respect to dump me before becoming physical with her, and I do believe him about that. It is also worth mentioning that he and the other woman live about 150 miles apart (about a 3 hour drive). She also has children from another man or maybe several other men, I don’t know details about that.
I think I messed up by contacting him a lot over the last 6 days. Sometimes the interactions would feel positive and sometimes we would both get angry and yell at one another. He often times said we could fall asleep talking on the phone, and we would text all day, sometimes arguing via text and sometimes just talking via text. A few times he asked me to just leave him alone and said that he hates talking to me. Other times he would tell me he loves me and that it’s not out of the question that we would end up together. He was being very hot and cold the last 6 days, and then today I called him and he answered while in the car with the woman he left me for. This obviously made me very angry and I yelled at him and we got in a huge fight that ended with him hanging up and blocking me completely. My phone number and all social media was blocked with a minute of him hanging up. Do you think I ruined things with my attitude and made it so he won’t ever talk to me again? Is it possible for a NC period to work when he’s blocked me out of pure anger? Will he even notice since I’ll be blocked and he can’t actively watch me living life? We were together 5 years and had great chemistry and deep love for each other, I don’t want to lose it! I’m so heartbroken, please help.

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

December 1, 2019 at 12:20 am

Hey there, so you need to complete a full No Contact of at least 45 days and work on yourself in that time. Even if he has the other woman you need to work on yourself to show you have ambition and you are working on yourself to get where you want to be in life, be it in career, wealth and relationships with friends. Socialising as much as you can and doing things that are going to get back to him how great you are living without him

Katarina

November 17, 2019 at 11:15 am

Hello! After one year of liking each other without knowing it, and more than one year of relationship he broke up with me on facebook…He told me that he feels depressed, indecisive and empty because he is not satisfied with his life. He feels like he wants to be alone and it has nothing with me. He said that he is not sure if he wants to continue with me. I tried to be supportive and proposed many solutions like spending time together doing interesting things, but after few messages he told me that he is SURE that he doesn’t want me anymore. That his emotions has gone and he doesn’t want to hurt me more…He said that took him just 3 days to make him realise that he is sure he doesn’t want me. But during last period I was so busy with my university exams and we didn’t spend so much time together. But again he was so indecisive and we were texting for 3 hours without saying anything. In the end I said that I am fed up with this and wish him all the best and to be okay and bloked him just to stop that agony. After I saw that he also blocked me…Of course, I am very disappointed and hurted because we are each others first love and we very so close and really has an amazing relationship and moments. I want him back but I don’t know is it possible to apply no contact rule…what do you think? Thank you!

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

November 23, 2019 at 1:21 am

Once you have completed a full NC you can reach out with the type of text that Chris suggests, what you need to keep in mind he ended things because he felt depressed and wanted to make changes to work on that depression. You are going to have to start from the bottom and work your way up the value chain so that your ex wants to be with you again

Mary

October 12, 2019 at 5:27 am

My ex-boyfriend is in the military (army medic) stationed in TX and I live in STL. We dated very happily for about 8 months and I thought he was the one. He came home on leave to STL for a month and we hit it off and continued a long distance relationship when he went back to TX. He painted a beautiful picture in my head of us living together, getting married, and traveling the world. One day out of nowhere, his sister told him I was saying bad things about their family and with no proof he believed her (even though it was not true.) He instantly broke up with me without even communicating with me about what was going on. His sister had almost her entire family block me on Facebook and to this day I have no idea why she did this. He said he cannot live in a world where his sister and girlfriend don’t get along even though I tried everything to amend things with her, she did not care nor did she try but he continued to put the blame on me. When he broke up with me, he also said it was because he did not love me anymore nor did he think I was the one, but then he kept reaching out to me for the next three weeks post breakup telling me he loved me, missed me, was thinking about me, etc. His sister then told him he had to choose between me and her so he ended it for good again, and again said it was because he didn’t love me and not because of his sister. After it was ended for good, his sister (who I work with) started spreading the same lies around work telling coworkers I said nasty things about her family. When I texted her to try and stick up for myself (it was not a nasty text but just a plea for her to tell me why she was doing this) she accused me of harassment and the next day my ex blocked my number and took me off social media. I am very hurt because now I do not know if he ever loved me or if he is using that as an excuse to push me away because he doesn’t want to lose his sister/family. I am also hurt that he feels I was capable of doing what his sister blamed me of. I now have to use the no contact rule because I do not have a choice.

In your opinion, does it sound like he broke up with me due to his sister or because the love was not real? I am completely heartbroken. Why do people tell you they love you then give up on you? (It also doesn’t help that he was dealing with depression and said he was confused about himself and life in general.)

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

October 12, 2019 at 11:17 pm

Hi Mary, if he is a family man then it may have influenced his decision to end things yes. However he may be conflicted with what is going to make him happy especially if he is struggling with depression too. So if you want to get him back NC and reach out like the texts Chris advises.

Molebogeng Banda

October 7, 2019 at 8:17 pm

Hi Chris,

I dated my bf for 4 years and around the beginning of June I found out he was dating another girl and that they had been dating for 3 years. It broke me that he wasn’t willing to let her go for me but because I loved him, I decided to turn a blind eye and forgive him. It was not easy though, was paranoid and very insecure. I questioned and doubted his every move.

I thought I had forgiven him, I guess not as I started looking for an emotional connection with another guy whom I found comfort in. One thing lead to another until I found myself cheating, though I felt nothing for this other guy. I just enjoyed his company.

After I found out about the other girl, he made no effort to work things out with me. He always gave me the response of “I don’t know”, whenever I would ask if they were still together.

So I didn’t see him in person for about four months though we spoke frequently on the phone and via texting. After not seeing him for that four months, we decided that I was to visit him. Upon my arrival to his house, everything was going well until he utilised an opportunity to go through my phone and found text messages between me and the other guy.

I tried covering up my cheating by lying which made his anger worse. I lied until I couldn’t lie nomore and came clean, told him everything. He threw me out of his house, drove me to a friend’s place around 3am and told me he wants nothing to do with me.

After a day of him finding out about the affair, I sent him a text just to apologize which he showed me he deleted, I am not even sure if he read it or not.

I have not contacted him since the apology I sent him. I want him back, yes. He wants nothing to do with me and assuming he has blocked me on social media.

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

October 9, 2019 at 11:05 pm

Hi there, so as you lost his trust and you chose to forgive his cheating. You need to show how you’re going to work on yourself and using social media show all the positive changes you’re making in your life and then approach him with a text that is classed as a hook – interest of his that will make him talk to you about htat and work your way back up the value chain

Briana Sumter

October 1, 2019 at 4:22 pm

Hi
My ex of 14 months broke up with me about a month ago. It was a long distance relationship. I met him at my hoarding school and we dated for 10 months. When he went back home to Germany, he broke up with me because he didn’t have the same feelings towards me. I explained to him how happy he made me and we got back together. At the start of the summer he told me he stopped loving me/ loving me less. It was a very hard time for me, but somehow i persuaded him to stay with me. I went to Germany for three weeks and he was so happy to spend time with me and told me he won’t leave me. I came back home after the three weeks, and went through a very bad stage of depression. I wrote out a suicide letter to family and friends, and wrote things about my relationship in there as well, but nothing bad about him. Two days after he told me it’s over. I became crazy, begged and pleaded. And still he wouldn’t budge. Two weeks passed by and i contact him again saying i am sorry for the way i acted. and he told me that he won’t come back. He then used the excuse “it’s not you, it’s me” and told me that he is happy with or without me. That he wasn’t ready for a relationship. I asked him if maybe in the future and he said “ i don’t think so” he told me that i should just forget about him, and that he is happy with his life right now and doesn’t want anyone, but he also said he can’t say now what the future will hold. When i asked him if we can take a break he said yes for six years. I got mad and told him why he didn’t tell me that he didn’t want to be with me when i went to go see him, and said how can you be like this and that he is hurting me, and without a question he has blocked me. I later found out that day (yesterday) that he was kissing an other girl while he was drunk. I really miss him. I don’t need him in my life to be “happy” but he gave me feeling i don’t want with anyone else. Someone please help me.

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

October 1, 2019 at 9:10 pm

Hey Briana, so your first task. To be happy without him in your life, because it is not someone elses’ job to make you happy in life. I know you love this person and that is an addictive feeling. But if you can’t be happy single then you are going to fall dependant on someone else to make you happy time and time again. Read up on the Ungettable girl and work on your Holy Trinity, the rest will fall into place

Mags

September 27, 2019 at 6:39 pm

Hello,
i met a guy on tinder, we were talking for about 3 months. I was convinced that he wasn’t that interested in me: we bearly saw each other (we met once) even thought i told him my days off. All through, he did mention he will be more free in October when we go back to college (we both worked during the summer, different schedules: him in the morning me in the afternoon). I was done playing games and wanted to take some time to see with myself if I’m actually going to wait untill October or just end it. He got mad at me for continuing posting on Instagram whrn i told him i needed some time to think. He had blocked me since. I’m trying this “no contact rule”, but do you think he’ll stop being angry at me? And should i give us another chance?

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

September 29, 2019 at 8:09 pm

Hi Mags, honestly I would look at this situation and consider if this is the type of person who you would want a relationship with. To get angry at you for posting on YOUR social media pages is a RED FLAG. You told him you need time away from him he isn’t giving you that. But, yes complete a NC and reach out after a full 30 days if you feel this is someone worth your time

Anon

September 26, 2019 at 11:18 am

If I’m still blocked by the end of the 30 days, should I just continue no contact?

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

September 26, 2019 at 8:05 pm

If you are in a Hard Block then yes, continue to work the Holy Trinity and eventually you will likely be unblocked within the next 6 months, if you are on a Soft Block use an alternative method to contact your ex.

Sarah

September 18, 2019 at 3:26 pm

Hi,

My ex of 2 years broke up with me nearly 2 years ago. He said he wasn’t feeling the same way about me and I was hurt. I did NC etc, and struggled as we work together. We became friends and got on well until April this year when a misunderstanding ended all contact between us except the basics at work. We do not text, call etc and he has no social media.
Another girl we work with- I’ll call her Jane- was my best friend for years. She encouraged me to start dating my ex and whenever we had problems she would remind us how much we loved each other and point out how in love with me he was and we made each other better people. She really supported our relationship. Jane started seeing another guy from work (James) and then was cheating on him. She asked me what to do, and I said she had to choose and that if James asked, I wouldn’t lie to him. She instantly cut off contact with me. My ex comforted me at the end of the friendship but agreed with my response to her as he hated cheaters and what she was doing was wrong.
I have now found out, the last 2 months, my ex and Jane have been dating. They haven’t told me and don’t know I know. I’m really hurt. I don’t have a friendship with either but it still feels like a betrayal. Our friendship and relationship must have been a lie. She also knows how much my ex meant to me.

Please please help.

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

September 19, 2019 at 9:38 am

Hi Sarah, that’s very hurtful for your friend to do that, but also for your ex to comfort you. Focus on yourself and getting your happiness back without them. Their cheating will come to light soon enough.

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91 thoughts on “Does No Contact Work If Your Ex Has You Blocked?”