Does The No Contact Rule Work? Yes, Here's Why!

297 thoughts on “Does The No Contact Rule Even Work?”

Ella

April 9, 2017 at 8:38 am

Thank you so much! I got my ex boyfriend back through the proper use of NC. 🙂

EBR Team Member: Amor

April 10, 2017 at 7:20 pm

Congrats Ella! Thank you for sharing!

jen

April 7, 2017 at 2:09 pm

Hi my boyfriend and i broke up about 2.5 weeks ago. He said we became different individuals and he didnt see a future. I asked him if he still had feelings for me, he questioned himself and said he did have the urge to be close to me (we hung out once after we broke up and we still hugged n all, he even said he had the urge to kiss me, but he didnt), but he didnt know if he has had feelings for me left and he thinks its best to be just friends. he said the feelings are dying into friendship. he says maybe in the future when he thinks we meet and we can connect again, he will want to try again. but he said it may take a few years. i am so heartbroken but i decided to leave him because it hurts too much to be his friend.

after the breakup, he still reads my personal blog daily (hes the one and only invited reader). I stopped posting on that blog already but he still comes to read it daily. I don’t know what’s on his mind.

during this period of time, im worried about him liking another girl, and i plan to ask him out on the 21st of april (exactly 30 days of NC since breakup) because there is a festival that i’d like us to go together. but im afraid that i’d get my heart crushed again. i don’t know if i am ready to fully be his friend yet, but i do not want to wait longer because he is a sensible and smart guy, he doesnt like mind games. im worried he will think im not making effort anymore and he’ll move on. do u think we can start over as friends and progress into lovers again?

EBR Team Member: Amor

April 9, 2017 at 6:06 pm

don’t ask him out right away after nc.. build rapport through texts first, then calls, then neet ups

Jessie

April 7, 2017 at 1:12 am

Hi,
I have broken NC in the first 4 days when he contacted me. The next time it was 7 days n next time 5. Do u think it ll work if I start NC again.. How could I stop responding to him when he texts me

EBR Team Member: Amor

April 9, 2017 at 3:55 pm

the more you do it, the less it ca help you.. it’s just really deciding not to reply..because you’re the only one who can control yourself

Kyp

April 1, 2017 at 2:18 pm

So a couple days before I sent that text (after nc) I noticed he had this post about him and her fighting. Well I was originally going to text that day but after seeing it I figured it wasn’t the right time. So I sent it a couple days later. Again no I didn’t get a response but throughout this week it seems like he was posting some of the same stuff as me. Even going to a couple of pages he knows I follow ,but he doesn’t, and shared from there. Normally I don’t pay attention to what people post but something I’ve noticed about him is that he tends to communicate through posts which is the only reason why I say anything at all. A couple days ago I noticed he had a couple strange posts. One mentioned about not having to be mad all the time. I wondered if it was aimed at me cause again that’s how he communicates and it seemed like a strange one to post and I was mad a lot at the end of our relationship and the other was one that with how it was worded made me wonder if he was having a rough day. Later on in the day I saw that he shared a video I posted. I’m not trying to make something out of nothing I’m really not but again that is how he communicates I’ve noticed. I know it wasn’t aimed at her cause he would find something with “bae” in it and I know it wasn’t about him so it made me wonder if it could have been aimed at me. If so why did he share my stuff hours later?

I started thinking about why he might not respond to texts and my mom told me it might be because I accidentally challenged something he said once. I totally didn’t mean to I really didn’t but I was still very emotional and upset by the breakup it just slipped out. Now she thinks he might not know how to talk to me. As I said I didn’t mean to it was an accident but how do I get him to trust talking to me again? I’ve wanted to take the posts as a good sign that maybe I’m sorta getting through to him but I don’t know.
What do I do to get him to talk and trust me?

EBR Team Member: Amor

April 2, 2017 at 2:45 pm

yes, it’s a good sign but dont react it if you want him to communicate better with texts. Just initiate fun conversations.. because if he noticed that you’re looking at his posts and it affects you, he’ll use posts more than talking to you

Nia

March 26, 2017 at 5:37 pm

My ex has been in a rebound since my depression caused me to break up with him 2 months ago. Depression makes people make poor choices, and I thought I should go back to my previous ex because he would take care of me. That was a dumb idea, he was an ex for a reason. My current ex wanted to be friends and we were getting along great but it hurt because he wanted to date the rebound.
I started the no contact and he tried to reach out to me, but when I answered a day later he said he just had a moment of weakness and he’s fine now. Then I started no contact again and after two weeks he wrote a big long message about how he feels like I have all the power, and he was tired of waiting and he’s moved. When I tried to talk to him about it, he said he couldn’t take me back anyway because I left for me ex. He has since started seeing his rebound much more frequently and actually dating her. I feel like I lost the chance to get him back because I took too long to contact him and he’s now completely moved on. I do want him to be happy, so I don’t want to interfere if this rebound will actually make him happy when I couldn’t. But I don’t even know how to stay present in his mind when there is a new girl. I kind of feel bad for her too knowing that he only jumped into it to forget me. But maybe he will be happier?
I still wake up in the middle of the night angry that he didn’t support me through my depression, just ran off because I was confused and hurt that he wasn’t around when I needed him, to the point I thought my ex was a viable choice. I can’t even be a positive, flirty person because I don’t want to be that girl that breaks up a possible good thing for someone I love. How do I handle this?

Nia

March 26, 2017 at 6:38 pm

Like I’ve read your other articles about staying present in his mind if he has a rebound… But how can I do that if he won’t be looking at my facebook *I know he won’t now that he is focusing on the new girl. Maybe I should be trying harder to move on… I feel like both of us went through a lot of life changing revelations after we broke up and now all that work trying to get him to open up to me, will go to her… He never breaks up with people, so unless he infuriates her he will just sit in that relationship for years.
EBR Team Member: Amor

March 28, 2017 at 2:05 pm

just be active in posting so when he gets curious, he has something to see.. If you want to move on, of course we respect that..
Nia

March 26, 2017 at 6:35 pm

He is very stubborn, he unfriended me when I said I can’t be friends when he’s starting a new relationship because I can’t be the person that breaks them up. He would normally not be the person to share his relationship until it’s secure and she has already “facebook officialed” him, one of my friends told me. I feel the more no contact I do, the harder it will be to reconcile, or build rapport, because he will just ignore me and focus on this new girl. He was actually glad when I told him not to be friends because then he could focus on her without thinking about me.
EBR Team Member: Amor

March 26, 2017 at 6:27 pm

Hi Nia,

you lost the power when you replied to his long message.. that was his way of trying to make you reply to regain the power back..restart the count of 30 days, go back to improving yourself and being active in posting and stick to it..unless he says he wants to get back together

Nicole

March 24, 2017 at 9:49 pm

Hello,
Does the no contact rule work if its the 3rd time that he breaks up with me using the same excuses he says he needs time on his own…needs to focus on school and says he is mad at everything.. he broke up last week and since then he said nothing…..last time he came back after 4 weeks of no contact.
We date for 1 year and 2 months.

EBR Team Member: Amor

March 26, 2017 at 12:38 pm

Hi Nicole,

the more you do no contact, the less it can help and if you are on and off that means you have to do a longer one this time, at least 45 days

Francesca

March 24, 2017 at 5:05 am

Hi. I found this website the day after my ex and I broke up. We broke up after we were fighting a lot. I know now that I was the issue. The fights weren’t about anything but I was just unhappy with myself and carried negativity. I recently started counseling to deal with my emotions. I’m on the first week and I am confused on what to do with my ex. I know we have the NC rule and I will follow it but I can’t help but to think about my chances. Everyone says get over it but I can’t because I messed up a great thing. During the break up after crying and begging the first day and talking for 4 hours. We both calmed down. Nothing mean was said. I apologized a lot. He said we needed to end it now while before we hate each other. I said I’m going to miss him and he said he will too but he won’t be erasing me either. I asked if we can try again…he said he doesn’t know and he may consider it but he doesn’t know. His friend says give up because he’s never seen him go back to an ex. PS. we texted the day after the break up but I stopped after reading the material from here.

EBR Team Member: Amor

March 26, 2017 at 9:57 am

Hi Francesca,

finish at least 30 days first.. improve first, that’s the most important aspect of it.. if you were the only problem, then use that as motivation to change..

Kay

March 21, 2017 at 3:47 am

Ok, so for all you doubting ladies out there, I have some reassurance- this guy truly knows men. After being broken up with by a guy who I embarrasingly grovelled to because I told myself, and him, that my pride wasn’t worth losing him over….and with a guy who once wanted to marry me and who ended up losing some respect for me when my insecurities took hold of the relationship, this same guy who had complete control over the breakup, has since texted me 3 days and called once all over a period of the first 6 days of no contact. His messages went from somewhat romantic in the form of sending me a music video that he had said early on in the relationship made him think of me, to messages of I miss you’s, to messages of hurt and anger like deleting me from Facebook, to now groveling and admitting he “never does this” and misses and loves me. And you know what? Day 4 in I said to my friends finally, “You know what? I deserve more than an ‘I miss you’, because, duh, that’s a given for anyone in a break up. I deserve an ‘I love you’ and an ‘I’m sorry’, and an acknowledgement of some sort of responsibility for some issues, as I have taken the blame for it all unfairly.” So he’s on his way…even mentioning he was finally putting down his pride and “didn’t care”, which was part one I was waiting for since I had done so so many times. But the funny thing is that, just as Chris said, I am starting to find myself and my self-respect again and now I’m seeing things a bit more clearly…and I’m not sure I want to have it back because I’m not sure it was healthy for me. Anyways, stay strong ladies and trust in the process.

EBR Team Member: Amor

March 24, 2017 at 10:04 pm

Hi Kay,

Im happy for you! Thanks for sharing!

Lyd

March 17, 2017 at 12:04 am

We went on a break on February 8, and eventually broke up on February 15. He was “unsure” about the future, which is why we originally went on a break, which was to end on March 4. When we spoke during the break up he was still unsure, And I asked him if he wanted the rest of the break to think about things. He told me over text “I don’t want to wait two weeks to talk to you!!!!!! I never wanted to wait three and a half weeks to talk to you!” After that, we spoke a few times, and the last time was very cordial and civil and we didn’t talk about emotions or the relationship at all. I started my no contact period on February 26. I got a text this past Monday (12th) saying ” hey, how are you. I was cleaning and I found your copy of the cable guy in my apartment. How can I get that to you sometime?” Is this a good sign? I still have at least a week left of my no contact, and I feel really bad for ignoring him. He so important to me and any insight you can give me into my situation would be very very appreciated. Thank you!

EBR Team Member: Amor

March 17, 2017 at 7:28 pm

Hi Lyd,

yes that’s a good sign but did you improve yourself and were you active in posting in social media? if not, do that now and extend at least a week of nc..

Jasmine

March 8, 2017 at 11:46 pm

Hello Chris,

I need some advice. My fiancé and I just broke up about 2.5 weeks ago and I moved out. On New Years we had a huge fight and he started distancing himself saying some really hurtful things like he didn’t know if he saw a future with me, that he was torn if he wanted to be together or not, that he may still have feelings for his ex wife. He said that he may need space to figure things out etc. Because I couldn’t take the back and forth and the mental roller coaster (almost 1.5) months I decided to make the decision for him and break things off. The day I moved out I told him that anything that I left at the house he could just throw away. I started NC immediately he has reached out to me a few times taking pictures of clothing or mail that didn’t get forwarded to see if I wanted to meet up and pick them up even though I have not asked for these items. In one of the text he called me dramatic because I told him again to just throw away the items and I refused to meet up with him to pick it up. Do these text mean he misses me or do you think he is just being nice? So far I have been doing very good with no contact and not engaging him. I would really like for us to reconcile but I don’t want a man that is not sure about me. We were together for almost 2 years how long do you think I should continue no contact?

EBR Team Member: Amor

March 12, 2017 at 10:57 am

Hi Jasmine,

do at least 30 days.. Yes, that looks like he’s missing you and that’s his way of trying to reconnect.

JL

February 19, 2017 at 8:27 am

my ex asked a favour a couple of weeks ago, after i helped him, he offered me a help which i can do it myself or we can do it together. but i refused as he has a new girl friend, i am a bit confused, should i take his offer?

EBR Team Member: Amor

February 20, 2017 at 8:02 pm

Hi Jl,

it’s too vague.. is it something that only you can do?

Suzanne

February 16, 2017 at 3:35 pm

I’m on day 22 of the 30-day NC and having a really hard time heading into this last week. My ex has texted me four times during NC– a text about a sports team we like, a “hey,” a “miss you,” and “i’m sorry. goodbye.” The last one came a week ago, and I haven’t heard from him since. What are my chances of getting a response when NC ends if he said “goodbye” because I wasn’t responding?

EBR Team Member: Amor

February 16, 2017 at 8:42 pm

Hi Suzanne,

he’s just respecting your space.. But the fact that he is curious about you during nc, gives a good chance that he will respond.

Martyna

February 7, 2017 at 5:38 pm

HI. My name is Martina and I really need some relationship advice. I’m a total mess since the break up and I don’t know what to do. I have been in a long distance relationship for almost 2 years and everything was great. We fell in love from the first sight and every month we visited each other. We talked and wrote to each other every day. It was hard but he was always the one to comfort me when I was sad about it. Suddenly one day he found out that he might be genetically ill( he has 50%). He did some resarches on this disease and had to wait so long for the results. No matter what I was still there for him. As time went by he found out that the results has came. He had to come back to my country and open them. Since he found out about it he became very indifferent he did not want to talk to me and was so cold towards me but I was patient and waited for results… Then he comes to my hause… all in tears saying that he can no longer live like this with me and that we have to break up claiming that results made him think about us a lot. He said that he asked everybody if he should be with me and all his family told him not to…. He deleted all our pictures and does not want to have any contact with me at all. He said that this is going to be better for both of us if we separate and that he doesn’t want to hurt me anymore. He still does not know if he is ill or not.He said he loves me so much but this distance is killing him. I suggested him some resolutions to this problem but he does not want to talk to me about it and thinks that it will destroy my life completely. He said that it is easier to forget about everything and that “time heals wounds” , He did not want to listen to me. It hurts me so bad and I still love him so much. I started no contact and we have no contact for a week already. No message My question is will the no contact work for me at all ? please help me

EBR Team Member: Amor

February 7, 2017 at 11:32 pm

Hi Martyna,

There’s no guarantee that it will.. You need to check this:
The Complete Guide To Getting An Ex Boyfriend Back In A Long Distance Relationship

EBR Team Member: Amor

February 2, 2017 at 4:18 pm

well that’s you.. as you said, you wouldn’t be harsh as him, so it makes sense th at you also wouldn’t do what hes doing now.. being interested can mean he wants to reconnect but not necessarily to be back together right away..it can be because he’s trying to guage how much you really changed. If it’s just physical or just for show.. or he’s just guilty about what he did and he’s now friendzoning you to clear his conscience
EBR Team Member: Amor

January 31, 2017 at 4:31 pm

Hi Amanda,
if you improved, it can be interest but it can also be because he felt guilty on what he had to do for you to move on and now he wants things to clear the air and to be normal again.
EBR Team Member: Amor

January 31, 2017 at 1:22 pm

Hi Amanda,
just to make it clear, you just want insight on why he’s talking to you again right? But you dont want him back? That’s probably because he senses you gave up and now really moving on.. So, he thought it’s safe to talk to you again.. did you improve yourself in the past 2 months?
Ashley

January 21, 2017 at 2:33 pm

OK. I need some help. My ex and I dated for 2 months. He broke up stating I only wanted sex from him and he felt that we really didn’t know each other. He stated back then that he still was in love with me and wants us to stay friends. I said it’s not gonna work because we still love each other. He persuade me to try a friendship. At first it was fine until a one night stand. Then he avoided me. I tried to move on and started to flirt with another guy(Tony) . My ex asked me how I felt about Tony. I told my ex that I liked Tony. My ex and I kept getting into arguments. We both agreed that we need to take a breather. This is when no contact began. But during no contact he constantly would try to talk to me about games, movies, etc. For the no contact month he initiated me. I would only give one word answers. After the month it seemed like things were getting better until he asked me if I slept with Tony. I said yes. My ex told me I constantly lie to him and he is mad that I never told him I liked Tony. I did tell him though. My ex told me he no longer has feelings for me and has been dating another girl for 1 week. So I thought we both moved on and everything was OK. But I don’t understand why almost every time he sees me he brings up our past relationship, how I hurt/lied to him, asks me if I really like Tony. I feel like I’m missing something. Advice?

EBR Team Member: Amor

January 22, 2017 at 8:35 pm

Hi Ashley,

that’s probably because he still has feelings for you..but your no contact period was not really a no contact period because you replied to him. do you want to restart it?

Zane

January 18, 2017 at 10:51 pm

hi. im on day 30 of NC and he hasnt reached out. im getting really nervous about even initiating a first text because im pretty sure that it will go unanswered.

3 months in of intense dating (seeing each other 4 – 5 times a week) things started to reach the bridge of ‘serious or not serious’. we had made a promise to each other to put off sex and really see if we could be each others friend to build a strong foundation, it was both of our first times doing something like that and i can say ive never been so happy. i felt like i was dating my best friend. it felt unbreakable, if you could spend marathon days with someone and have the BEST time and share so much that didn’t involve just sex… lets just say the future was looking Really bright because on top of that – our chemistry was killer. our time was definitely here.

so what happened? he invited me to our first out of town trip together. we played phone tag for a few days trying to arrange details. then he absolutely ghosted and vanished into thin air. i did everything you weren’t supposed to do: sent paragraph pleas of UNopened text messages, UNopened facebook messages that say ‘lets be friends’, UNopened instagram messages of photos or funny memes that remind me of him. postal mailed a birthday card. basically ive tried every avenue of communication possible. cried myself miserable. found this site. here i am on day 30. and i see he got back with his ex sometime in the midst of this. downgrade of the century. works at a bar?! not that theres anything wrong with people that work at bars but…. so out of this world for where we are in age and aspiration.

so should i give up? more than anything i feel like i have lost my best friend. there were no fights. no bad days. no words. and definitely no goodbye.

EBR Team Member: Amor

January 20, 2017 at 3:21 pm

Hi Zane,

It looks like you’re a rebound.. try to initiate a text first..if he doesn’t reply, then move on..

Sohurt90

January 16, 2017 at 4:41 pm

Hey Amor,

Hate to keep bothering you. After making no attempt to texting nor calling him. Although he block my number he text me one of his favorite pictures of me and he unblock me from FB. My number is still block tho. What to do?
Erica

January 16, 2017 at 1:23 pm

My ex boyfriend and I share two kids together and additional two kids each from previous relationships. We have lived together 10 of the 14 years together. Total 14 years together. He woke up on 06/21/15 and said he no longer wanted to be in this relationship and was going to move out. I was devastated and crushed, but I didn’t want to beg him to change his mind. I cried and asked why and respected his decision. His reasoning was he didn’t like how he felt in our relationship anymore. He wasn’t happy. He packed a few things to move in with his aunt who lives down the street from our house. He did not completely move out for 10 months after the initial break up. He went from sleeping on couch to sleeping in bed with me. After 10 months I felt he was trying to have all the benefits without the title anymore so I packed the rest of his stuff and asked him to leave. Even after he left he kept coming back over and staying on the couch and trying to be with me physically. Down the line we still acted as if we were together, but we were not. And he had no intentions coming back. A few months after a few arguments and talks about what’s going on I stopped contacting him… it lasted a week until he said he realized he did love me and did miss me… but somewhere after the roller coaster ride he still did not want to get back together. He eventually started to back off from me. Just the past 3-4 months we’ve argued and talked about this relationship. It’s usually just me initiating the conversation and him not wanting to talk about it. Just recently he is finding a getaway and comfort in a female friend who he says he’s able to just feel at peace with and talk about anything and everything but their only friends. She has been the subject of the past 1-2 months of my obsessive texting, angry words, begging to work it out… pretty much all the things you say not to do… I’ve done. He has told me time again that this isn’t the way or how to work things out… he said I just keep pushing him further and further away. The last thing he said is he doesn’t know if he can ever come back after this… he said I’ve been controlling and needy and suffocating him and he doesn’t think I will ever change. He said he loves me and cares about me, but he’s not in love. He’s just tired of the drama and wants peace, happiness, and positive energy. I’m assuming this is what his female friend gives him and why he says she’s his getaway because he doesn’t have to worry about feeling bad or unhappy or have to talk about relationship. He said he hasn’t thought of her no more than a friend. He still comes by or text me a few times, but I just recently about three days ago decided to stop contact. But he’s the type who is tit for tat and will become angry and hold a grudge if he sees I’m ignoring him and will text me things like “I will notate you ignoring me”… then he’ll try to do to me the same. He has not tried to text me since I’ve stopped contacting him three days ago unless about kids. He did try to call today but I ignored it.
After a year and half breakup…Have I lost him to my begging and pleading, getting angry and emotional saying things I don’t mean, hate text, spam texts, overemotional texts….etc???

Kat

March 31, 2017 at 5:58 pm

Hi Amor! I hope you reply soon as I’m in a bit of an emergency situation…My close mutual friends have just seen my ex and the new girl holding hands and when they saw each other they immediately let go of their hands. The friends know about the situation but had they not they would probably tell me that they saw them together, so I would know. He probably knows that my friends saw them holding hands so would think that they’d tell me. I don’t know what to do now, because if I know I should naturally ask him about it? On the other hand I don’t want to talk to him about it or if I have to i don’t know how to approach it-what to say or do.
EBR Team Member: Amor

March 31, 2017 at 10:06 pm

initiate contact while in vacation and act as if your friends didn’t tell you what they saw
Erica

January 26, 2017 at 12:28 pm

Hi Amor
I read the “The grass is greener syndrome”. I’m not really sure which scenario of the examples given that your are referring my situation too. With you saying “it would be better to accept it’s over” … is this saying that I need to accept it’s really over he’s moved on and I need to move on as well. That at this point I’m not getting my ex boyfriend back. I don’t want to be naive and hope for what doesn’t exist. He still continues to text me, do little things for me. I only respond to his text when necessary cause we have kids but no matter how much I ignore him, he finds a way to speak or text. If not that he finds his way over the house to drop kids off but ALWAYS comes in to talk to me… as if he finds a way to at least see me. He’s been working on a new job and I’ve always have been the person he’s excited to tell and he still tries to keep me updated in his life whether I ask or not. I’m confused. If he was done, he would be done, but I’m confused because he always finds a way to get around me not contacting him. He’s the one who broke up but also not trying to get back together. But he finds his way to at least speak or see me once a day…
the grass is greener??? If his friend was someone who makes him so happy and stress free, why does he put himself in a situation to see or speak to me?
Again… are you saying a need to accept it’s over cause it is or because it’s a step towards healing and a better chance of attracting him back? I’m not the one chasing him or trying to get him back… I’ve tried to let go but he puts himself around me making it hard for me to move on
EBR Team Member: Amor

January 26, 2017 at 1:23 pm

that means he sees he other person better in one way or another.. hr probably talks to you because that’s what he’s used to, like a friend. I think it would be better for you to ask him and tell him your observations
Erica

January 19, 2017 at 10:30 am

Hi Amor,
It seems he has reached out and we spoke. He said it was heavy on his mind about how the entirety of the 14 year relationship has been and said he put his self in my shoes and he realized all the pain he put me through. He wanted to apologize to me for all the hurt and pain he put me through. In return said, I too apologize for hurting him. Although we both understand we hurt each other it didn’t seem a reconciliation was the goal. Just him wanting me to know he was sorry. He did admit that him and his female friend are still friends even after she stopped talking to him but he admitted he initiated their friendship again. He continues to say they are just friends but she is his peace. He likes being around her and she makes him feel stress free and happy… I asked if he likes her more than friends and he said he hasn’t thought about it. I asked if he’s looking to take it beyond friends and he said he hasn’t thought about it. He just knows he feels at peace with her. In my original email I explained that towards the last 3-4 months she has been the reason he’s been distant and we argued. I feel like during my NC stage it just pushed him closer to her and further from me. I fear he is falling for her. He’s always pointing out how he feels when being around her. I fear the 14 years we had together wasn’t strong enough for him to have memories to hold on to and I’ve only become just the mother of his children and his heart is falling for her. I feel like no matter what at this point I’ve lost him. Even though we’ve been broke up for a year and a half, the first 10 months of that break up we were still struggling letting each other go. We were still intimate. Still proclaiming our love, but the last 5-6 months He’s been able to find comfort in another girl so quickly after the break up. Specially after a 14 year relationship. I’m devastated and feel lost. Is she truly someone he’s falling for or is she a rebound? Someone he finds comfort in not realizing that’s what he’s doing or is he truly falling for his new friend? Is NC going to work still after we just spoke and he apologized for putting me through the pain?
Is it over?
EBR Team Member: Amor

January 20, 2017 at 5:49 pm

I think it’s a grass is greener..check the link below about that.. It would be better if you accept that it’s over.. That way, the goal is to attract him back, and not to keep trying to make remember the feelings..
Erica

January 16, 2017 at 11:46 pm

Hi amor,
I’m not really understanding your response. I’ve stopped chasing him. I also stopped calling and texting him successfully for a week now. He has been the one initiating all texting until the last two days when he realized I wasn’t responding. He has decided to not text me either. I’m trying to complete the no contact but it seems it’s difficult when he has a key to the house and at times I come home and find him here. He carries a conversation and with respect I respond. This takes away from my purpose of the no contact when he comes to the house to see kids or if he’s dropping them off. He puts himself in a position to still visually see me. He also recently surprised me with lunch with a note apologizing for being a jerk. I’m confused as to what he wants from me. I didn’t understand the note. He also got me a gift 2 weeks ago apologizing for hurting me. I hurt and miss him but he seems to still confuse me. He says I push him away but as soon as I stop all that he still contacts me. He shows no sight of reconciliation as he’s been just going out with friends now a lot and seems to be happy and enjoying life and not missing being a family. I’m confused
EBR Team Member: Amor

January 17, 2017 at 3:48 pm

that’s probably because he’s feeling guilty.. stick to being distant.. when he initiates a talk, reply short, direct but polite responses..
He has to think you’re moving on and improving which I think, you’re doing a good start by stopping to chase him..keep that up, improve yourself, have a new routine with yourself and with the kids..
EBR Team Member: Amor

January 16, 2017 at 8:26 pm

Hi Erica,
you had a long time together, the memories are not easy to forget..but he also knew at a certain way for a long time.. so, stop chasing now.. start changing

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