How does the old adage go?
When emotions run high, logic runs low
Today we are going to be diving into a highly emotional topic and talk about some of the things that you could be doing to make your ex mad or annoyed with you.
Now, if you know anything about the way I typically write articles then you’d know that I like to go above and beyond.
I research everything I write about to make sure it’s backed up by my own personal findings and any scientific research I can get my hands on.
I’ve found five very interesting things you can do to pi** your ex off and that’s what we are going to be talking about today.
What Are The Things That Will Make Your Ex Annoyed Or Angry?
As I just stated, there are five things I’ve found that can make your ex pretty annoyed with you.
- Permanently Never Talking To Them Again
- Trying To Force Things Too Much
- Telling Them That You Don’t Want To Break Up All The Time
- Not Accepting Their Decision To End The Relationship
- Talking Too Much About The Past Relationship
Today we are going to be picking apart what each of these means and I’ll even share some real life stories of people who’ve committed these “sins.”
Are you ready to rock?
Let’s go!
What Are Your Chances of Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back?
Take the quizThing #1: Permanently Never Talking To Them Again
I believe the cool kids call this “ghosting.”
Now, here’s the interesting thing.
Me and my team are big proponents of a strategy called “the no contact rule” when it comes to getting back with an ex. For a quick refresher watch the video below,
Basically the no contact rule directs people to ignore their ex for a certain period of time.
My team and I have found that three time frames seem to be ideal,
- 21 days
- 30 days
- 45 days
But here’s the key to the no contact rule.
After that “time frame” has been completed you always get back in touch with your ex.
What can end up making an ex mad is if you just fall in love with your time during the no contact rule and decide to never talk to him or her again.
This is completely fine if you aren’t trying to win your ex back but if you set out with the intentions of actually trying to win an ex back this might not be the best approach.
Thing #2: Trying To Force Things Too Much
You’ll often hear me going on about the fact that two things really need to occur for you to successfully get your ex back.
What Are Your Chances of Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back?
Take the quiz- You need to position yourself properly
- The timing needs to be absolutely perfect
Technically you can do everything right.
You can listen to my advice and implement it but if your ex just isn’t in a space where he or she is going to be willing to take you back it’s probably not going to happen.
Conversely, your ex could be in the right frame of mind to take you back but if you haven’t done anything to position yourself properly you can just kiss your chances goodbye.
Here’s my point.
Trying to get an ex back isn’t something you can force
It takes time.
Patience.
And a little luck.
Yet, every day I run into people who try to force the process. They literally try to fit a square peg into a round hole,
Thing #3: Telling Your Ex That You Don’t Want To Break Up All Of The Time
I’m a huge fan of Game of Thrones and I happened to be watching an episode last night and something struck me as really interesting.
***Spoilers For Season 7 Of Game Of Thrones To Follow***
In the series you have a master manipulator named Littlefinger.
This D-bag,
This guy literally manipulates everything he can get his hands on but in season 7 that changes.
He gets found out by the Starks and the move to execute him.
It’s fascinating to watch someone get the tables turned on them where in the moment they go from confident, to unsure, to defense to literally getting on their hands and knees and begging for their life,
Of course, it doesn’t work and he gets his throat slit.
To me, this is the equivalent of someone who constantly tells their ex that they are not ok with the decision to end the relationship.
I understand the line of thinking.
They think that if they tell their ex that they don’t want to break up the ex will change their decision.
What Are Your Chances of Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back?
Take the quizBut it probably won’t.
Thing #4: Not Accepting Their Decision To Break Up
This is the perfect thing to talk about here because it’s closely related to what we just talked about.
I think we can all agree on two things.
Someone who doesn’t accept reality is looked at as crazy.
Or they are in the matrix,
Every once in a while I’ll coach someone and make it clear to them that I only have a certain amount of time available to dedicate to their situation. After all, there are literally hundreds of people begging to be coached by me.
When I tell someone this they nod their head in agreement as if they understood.
However, once I finish my initial coaching session they grow frustrated or angry with me when I don’t respond to them right away.
Again, I’ll reiterate that I’m not meaning to ignore them.
I’m just very busy.
(For the record, I do usually get around to responding to them eventually just not on their time table.)
Of course, by that time, after I’ve explained why I’m not able to respond as quickly as they’d like, they are angry with me.
This in turn makes me mad and a little annoyed.
It upsets me because it’s a clear indication that someone is not able to accept reality after they agreed that they would accept it.
How do you think your ex feels if you are doing the same thing to them.
After every day you do or say something that undermines their decision to break up with you?
There is nothing more unattractive than someone who can’t handle defeat with grace
And make no mistake about it, being broken up with is one of the worst defeats a human can suffer.
If you don’t believe me read this.
People who tend to do best at getting their exes back are the people that accept their fate easily and almost effortlessly.
I understand that it’s difficult but it’s not impossible.
Thing #4: Talking Too Much About The Past Relationship With Your Ex
Have you ever seen fight club?
What Are Your Chances of Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back?
Take the quizYes?
What’s the most famous scene from that movie,
I always think about that scene when I am confronted with a scenario like this.
Imagine for a moment that things are actually going pretty great with your ex and you mess it up by talking about your past relationship ALL OF THE TIME.
The first rule of Ex Recovery is you do not talk about your past relationship.
The second rule of Ex Recovery is YOU DO NOT TALK ABOUT YOUR PAST RELATIONSHIP.
I understand why you are doing it.
Human beings are wired for closure and explanation.
What’s the first thing you think about when I throw something like this up?
Well, if you are anything like me you probably look at that and think it’s an incomplete circle and think about how ever fiber of your being seeks to close that circle.
The same principle kind of applies to your past relationship.
You are probably sitting there and look at it like it’s unfinished business.
There are probably burning questions that you need answers to and the only person who has those answers is your ex.
The problem is that nothing can annoy or anger an ex more than having you ask about why the two of you broke up time and time again.
I know it’s difficult but you need to refrain from constantly asking your ex why.
Why is a dangerous question.
Generally I see two things happen in situations like this.
Firstly, you can accept the fact that you may never get an answer to your questions.
However, if you do have to get closure then make sure you ask them when your ex is so invested into a relationship with you that they can’t leave.
That’s the right way to get your answers.
J
March 8, 2020 at 3:54 pm
Hi my ex broke up with me 2 weeks ago, she told me that it was due to small arguments. We had a big argument and then I said things like I feel like we’re compatible right now. She told me she loves me but she can’t be with me because she can’t go back to a relationship. I would beg and ask her to come back but she told me no it’s done, move on. She dropped my jumpers back round and told me that she isn’t coming back. I then called her and told her I think it was a mistake and tried to convince her. I ended the convo after a heated mix of exchanges by saying that she should think about if this is a mistake and that I’d take her advice and move on after she has thought about it. She then texted me 4 days after and told me that she can’t go back to a relationship she isn’t happy in and that we can’t be together but she’s here for me still. I haven’t replied and wondered whether by not messaging back will this annoy her further and push her further away. I really need advice on how to deal with this to get her back. I will do just about anything, I’m currently in the first 6 days only no contact after making mistakes and begging etc. HELP!!!
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
March 12, 2020 at 11:44 pm
Hey J, you need to go into No Contact if you want to get your ex back make sure that you stick to 30 days. Working on yourself in that time and showing your ex that you are making positive changes to yourself using social media and mutual friends to show those changes
Mar
November 9, 2019 at 9:57 pm
My ex and I broke up 2 months ago. The broke up wasnt bad even though he was the one who ended the relationship. I did no contact for 45 days then i reach out and he did answer. Today i saw him on his motorcycle. He didnt even stop to say hi and he even drove fast pass me. I feel his mad or moving on already because he even stop following me on Instagram. He deleted my number also. I’m surpise he is behaving this way. I feel like i should just give up on getting him back and just moving. I will really appreciate if you give me any advice on if i still have a chance.
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
November 10, 2019 at 9:38 pm
To get an idea of your chances you need to do the quiz, but you do need to do a NC and work on yourself a little so that you are new person when your ex checks up on you in a few weeks time
Ishini Anjalika
November 27, 2018 at 2:07 pm
Me and my ex bf broke up month and half ago. We were together for one year and 9 months. We split up with each other he said because of me. He told me not to talk with boys and I didn’t I had limited contacts with guys. He talked more with girls rather than other days and he didn’t tell me about that. He talked with my friends and he send me screenshots of them but recently he didn’t that’s why I got angry and scolded him. Next day I appoligized him but day by day he tried missing me and after that he said lets be like friends I cant picture my life with you bacause you are more anger now. I follow your websites and Now I used to do NC rule. He texts me sometimes asking me about our degree lectures . I send him few msgs and I dont go further. Now I decided not to text him anymore during NC. I feel he cares me and he loves me. He said he will never marry me and he said it hard. He saud he jas yo die to marry me. Im doing all the things that you told in your websites. I dont have any money to purchase your book so I go through your blogs. That’s give me so many advantages. Is he caome back to me ? I have a big hope of my ex would come back again . Please give me some more advices. Thank you .
Chris Seiter
November 27, 2018 at 11:35 pm
Hi Ishini!
It looks like to me you would benefit from just exploring my blog as I have a lot great content and info on the NC rule there!
Kate
October 22, 2018 at 9:30 pm
I need serious help. I would really appreciate any type of input on the situation.
So basically everything got broken off 2 months ago. From the start I said to him to get his stuff then or it’s getting trashed that he wouldn’t have to see me I’d put it in my door.no reply and no show.
I left it for 3 weeks and contacted and he is bragging about how hes happy and seeing someone, typical.
So I went no contact for about 3 weeks again.. I did not initiate I got a couple texts asking if he could get things he left and he said the same thing I did months ago leave it in door.
He was on block so I hadn’t got the message right away and I waited a few days to reply cuz honest I was just riddled with anxiety about it. I just said “ya”. Then he sent a bigger message a day later saying the same things if he could get his stuff and went on about how if I dont have it he understands bla bla.
I just said about 20 minutes after receiving it “yes I told you 2 months ago to”.
He didnt reply for 5 days and when he did he is now saying he could stop by after work ?
What kind of game is this where he waits 5 days in between texts ? I am not sure if I should just reply prompt to get his stuff the f out of here or after he ignored my text for 5 days or if I should treat others as they treat you and wait 5 days to. I dont know how to act or what to say/do.
hopey
October 19, 2018 at 1:16 pm
Hi how can one hide all the feelings they have for their exes while they trying to get them back ?
Chris Seiter
October 19, 2018 at 10:42 pm
Hi Hopey!
Write them down on paper…that can be a good and safe way to release your feelings. Better not to hold them all in. I get into all of that in my eBook, “The No Contact Rule Book”. We all need help, yet don’t know sometimes how to help ourselves. But you can if you have some assistance on how to do it.
samantha
October 17, 2018 at 8:25 pm
I definitely committed a few of these mistakes. I refused to accept our breakup because he kept telling me that it was just for “right now.” I frequently told my ex that I didn’t want to break up. And I essentially forced him to listen to my grievances for about a month after our break up. I am doing no contact now, for 45 days. Is it bad that I haven’t heard from my ex at all? You mention a mistake is to never talk to them again, but how am I even able to get to a point where he reaches out to me first?
Chris Seiter
October 18, 2018 at 11:26 pm
Hi Samantha!
No worries…we all make plenty of mistakes. Its not unusual not to hear from your ex. But be sure you are doing NC properly. It get into the discussion of how to best implement it in many of my eBooks, posts, videos.