351 thoughts on “EBR 042: When You Should Use The No Contact Rule”

1. 

   Lauren

   February 7, 2016 at 6:34 pm

   Hi Chris,
   I implemented the no contact rule 16 days ago. Last night, I received a text at midnight from my ex fiancé saying he was coming to get his stuff today. I ignored it. He sent another one ten minutes later saying “let me know when you’re not home so I can come get it.” I ignored this as well. Should I just let it go and still not talk to him? I’m not sure if he’s really wanting to come get his stuff or is just using that as a way to try to talk to me. If he does show up unannounced, how should I react?

   Thanks.

1. 

   EBR Team Member: Amor

   February 7, 2016 at 6:59 pm

   Hi Lauren

   That’s an exception in the no contact.. You can give him his stuff, juat don’t talk about the relationahip and your feelings because if you did, you to start the count over

2. 

   calista

   February 7, 2016 at 11:17 am

   Hi，

   I have seperated with my husband for three years but he hasnt filed for divorce. I had done one no contact for 21 days a year ago. I have been trying to build up a good relationship and reconcile with him. We have been keeping daily contact and meeting up weekly as we have a child together. Yet he still hasnt changed his stance to get back with me. Initially our relationship was good and he even agreed to try to have a second child and go through one cycle of ivf at my wish. I didnt get pregnant and i bugged him for a second trial. It was at this point i ruined what i built so far and he found a ground to file for divorce.

   At this stage，should i redo one round of no contact? Or would this be not effective at all and would even let him get into the habit of moving on?

3. 

   Lost

   February 7, 2016 at 8:08 am

   Hi Chris,

   It’s me again. So I have finally managed to talk things over with my ex. He is giving me another chance to start all over as friends. He mentioned that I need to erase what I did that disgusts him (which was the cheating). Or remedy it. He said go figure, he doesn’t care as Long as it works.

   He is still quite hurt by me and at this point, he wants me to prove to him that I’ve changed. My question is, is starting over as friends a good step to take? And how do I prove to him now, as I do not know how to speak to him as everything is so awkward now.

   Please help!

1. 

   EBR Team Member: Amor

   February 7, 2016 at 5:23 pm

   Hi lost,

   Yeah, it is good, because it’s like nc. You start off with being friendly with the goal of flirty later on to build attraction.
   Have you checked out this post or following it’s steps?
   How To Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back If YOU Cheated

4. 

   Kendall

   February 7, 2016 at 5:22 am

   Hi Chris, I am 6 days into no contact and I am having a lot of doubts. It’s just really hard for me to believe that I will be able to get my ex-boyfriend back. I mean, not only did he say he didn’t love me anymore but he told one of my friend’s boyfriend that he didn’t want to get back together with me. He hasn’t tried to contact me or say he misses me, probably because he doesn’t. I just don’t know if it is even worth it to try. I just feel like once NC ends, it won’t matter what I do, he won’t want me back and everything seems impossible. I just wish I had some kind of positive side of all of this that will make me feel like it’s worth it to try. I have read and listening to all your podcasts and I have bough Ex-Boyfriend Recovery Pro btw.

1. 

   EBR Team Member: Amor

   February 7, 2016 at 5:06 pm

   HI Kendall,

   I think it’s too early to say that he really don’t want to, and somehow NC works in a way that you will make him want to get back with you when he sees you’re improving while he’s missing you. It’s that feeling of regret when he sees more of your value.

5. 

   Shai

   February 6, 2016 at 10:28 pm

   Hey, so I feel sort of lost…

   I did no contact, and I’ve been working for a month now after no contact ended to try to win him back. Things aren’t even close to where I expected/want them to be. Should I do no contact again?

1. 

   Shai

   February 8, 2016 at 1:12 am

   I have been slacking on the UG thing… I’ll step up my game on that! Thank you!

2. 

   Shai

   February 7, 2016 at 6:21 pm

   We’ve been texting every day, but he isn’t initiating conversations, I haven’t been able to get him to spend time with me (except in a completely nondate setting with friends around), and try as I might, he isn’t as invested in our conversations as I am. He doesn’t seem to be missing me at all, and I’m worried that he will get with this other girl he has been talking to.

3. 

   EBR Team Member: Amor

   February 7, 2016 at 6:49 pm

   I think you need to focus more on being the ungettable girl, doing the push pull theory instead of doing another nc

4. 

   EBR Team Member: Amor

   February 7, 2016 at 4:41 pm

   Hi Shai,

   what do you mean they weren’t close to what you expected?