83 thoughts on “EBR 025: How To Get A Date With Your Ex Boyfriend”

1. 

   sertab

   March 29, 2015 at 7:43 pm

   Chris, my ex is driving my insane!

   I’ve been trying to get back with him since November. 27 days of no contact resulted in him being distanced even more. After it he was angry and didn’t wanna talk but when he calmed down a bit be agreed to re add me on Skype.

   He said he still has minor feelings but doesnt think we can date because we are incompatible. He also said he has never found me attractive but I think that’s not true and has occurred after break up. He’s nit picking flaws and said he doesn’t wanna date me ever. Even refused to meet up as friends, because ‘he has no reason to meet me’.

   Any tips?

1. 

   admin

   March 31, 2015 at 10:15 pm

   I think lay back a bit.

   Work on getting on good terms with him again. Don’t come off as desperate.

2. 

   Sevi

   March 29, 2015 at 12:42 pm

   I agree a group hang out seems to be “low risk” date, however I’m afraid he would be afraid of what people would think of the see he accepts my invitation. We leave in different cities (me Brussels in Belgium, him Paris) , and all the people I know in Paris know about our situation. I already asked a friend we have in common to organise group hangout when I was visiting. All those who came told her she was crazy to invite us both at the same time, she was not helping me moving out and I could feel that people were uncomfortable with us two. For this reason I’m not sure I should organise invite him to a group hang out. When I visit Paris it is offen on business trip during the week, difficult then to ask for a coffee in the afternoon. Any suggestion for a low risk date in the evening ?

1. 

   admin

   March 29, 2015 at 1:58 pm

   If I was you I would really check out my articles on LDR’s.

   Those are right up your ally.

3. 

   Esther

   March 27, 2015 at 4:16 pm

   Hi Chris,

   I just found this site and I find it very helpful so far. Let me tell you about my situation.

   My ex and I were together about 2.5 years. We were so in love. From the beginning, we both said that this was it for us. I was his first girlfriend and he was only my second boyfriend. We are both in our early 20s. We never had any huge arguments or major disagreements. We share interests, religions, and our families both really like each other.

   Then, about a month ago, he started seeming distant. He said he had so much stress in his life because he didn’t know what he was doing school/career/life wise and he was considering joining the military. I was shocked, but I wanted to support him. He still didn’t seem normal, so I offered to lay off for a week. So we didn’t talk at all for a week so that he could evaluate his life to see where everything fits, including me. After the week past, we decided to take a break because he still didn’t know and it wasn’t fair to keep me waiting like that.

   After another week, I saw him so I waved, but he ignored me. I texted him about it and he said that it’s best if we don’t talk, which took my by surprise. I met up with him later that day and he admitted that he only feels like he is supposed to love me as a friend and nothing else. He cried a lot, but I didn’t cry until later that night when I was alone. I cried everyday for the next week. We tried talking as friends. He initiated the conversations, but I told him it was too hard for me to be friends with him if I still had feelings for him. I told him that I needed time to get over him, but now I am much more stable and ready to talk to him again, but now he is ignoring me. I realized he unfollowed me on Instagram and he isn’t responding to any of my texts or calls. (I was definitely a little overzealous with my texts, which I realize now was wrong.)

   I really do care about him, but I’m confused as to why he is not talking to me anymore when he said he wanted to be friends. My mom thinks that he stopped feeling the romantic fuzzy butterflies in our relationship, so he felt that we should break up. Please help me. I am considering buying your book, but I want to make sure I’m not wasting my time first. Thanks.

1. 

   admin

   March 29, 2015 at 2:39 pm

   I think your mom may be onto something.

   I also think its an age and maturity thing.

   How old is he exactly?

2. 

   Esther

   March 29, 2015 at 11:13 pm

   He is 22 and I am 23. My friends say that he is doing well and doesn’t seem bothered at all, which bothers me even more.

4. 

   Rachel

   March 26, 2015 at 12:22 am

   Hi Chris, great article, I think I followed all your steps. Ex and I are in our 30s. We had a 7-months serious relationship and never had any fight. But he suddenly broke up with me saying he does not feel any passion or progress. I did not cry or yell, only asked whether we can try 1 more month, he said he doesn’t think time could change anything. So I had to let go even tho I love him. It was a peaceful breakup. I went immediately into NC that lasted 5 months, not as a game plan, but because I genuinely wanted to get over him.

   He recently reached out to wish me a Happy Birthday. I was surprised because few people know my bday and they would have not reminded him. We texted that day back and forth and he left work early to come to see me and waited until I finish an evening class to have a coffee with me. We talked and laughed for an hour, then I said I had to go and he gave me a long hug. After that day, he didn’t contact me for a week. So I emailed him something that was of his interest. He responded positively, and we started to email each other with more frequency. When I asked him to join me in an event that he expressed interest in, it took him a week to respond that he needs to check his schedule, and concluded later that he cannot make it.

   He is a typical nice guy, shy and introvert. He is not a text person, even tho he surprised me on my birthday by responding so fast by text. Is he interested or just being nice? Should I go NC or ask him directly for a coffee to ask what he thinks about getting back together?

1. 

   admin

   March 31, 2015 at 8:14 pm

   Hi Rachel!

   Build some rapport with him first before you ask for the cup of coffee.

5. 

   Shannon

   March 26, 2015 at 12:07 am

   So here’s where I am right now, he doesn’t even text back anymore. Yesterday we were talking and I asked him if he wanted a tshirt from the comedy show and he said sure! So I got him one. I sent him a pic of the comedian and he never got back. I texted him today and said hey are you busy? I wanna tell you about the show! And he never got back. Should I go back into NC for a little bit? It’s very frustrating

1. 

   admin

   March 31, 2015 at 8:12 pm

   Hmm… I would have played a little harder to get.

   “Hey I wanna tell you about the show”

   Screams, “I like you” to men.

2. 

   Shannon

   April 3, 2015 at 5:35 pm

   I feel like I’m so easy for him because I’m always the one who texts him. sometimes he responds, sometimes he doesn’t. Idk how to play hard to get when he knows that I want to be with him. If I don’t ask him to hang out, then we won’t hang out. And the sucky part is if I don’t ask him to hang out on a weekened that he is home, he might not be home for like 2 weeks after that and then more time is wasted. Sometimes I feel like I should just stop texting him. I feel like me texting him every other day just screams desperate to me. Even though when he does respond I keep the convo short and sweet.

   He told me he’s going through a hard time right now and stuff and I told him I understand and I’m here for him. But yet, when I text him, he’ll sometimes ignore me. He’s not home this weekend but next weekend he is and he got a new car and he said I could come drive it. So do you think I should ask him to hang out next weekend or no?

6. 

   cynthia

   March 24, 2015 at 10:16 pm

   chris, first let me start off by saying that Gosh your wife is gorgeous 🙂 you hit the jackpot 🙂 your story is so inspiring to me because you two did the long distance and you won. so congrats 🙂 second, thankyou for answering all of my previous questions. so my bf and i of 2 years broke up about a month ago, i did the no contact rule, but now its over in a week and i’m too scared to make a move, i’m so afraid of being rejected, he broke off the relationship with me because i was to jealous and needy. Ive read every article on here, ive been working on becoming the ungettable girl, and making my social media seem like im happy without him. he liked one of my photos on instagram the other day, then a few days later i liked a photo of a drawing hed been working on since before we broke up. He still has his photos up on instagram and so do i. He also messaged me during no contact to “remind me” to get rid of some concert tickets i had bought for him valentines day, of course i kept it civil, not too personal, i kept my distance, almost as if he was a stranger asking for directions. Now i’m too scared to make a move, isn’t this what i wanted? I don’t know how to contact him, even though i Already read the articles about contacting him. Thanks for answering this, even though its really long.

   -Desperate girl trying to get her man back

1. 

   admin

   March 31, 2015 at 6:59 pm

   Hi Cynthia,

   I totally told my wife you said that!

   Don’t be scared to make a move.

   I mean, eventually you are going to have to do something.