Rapid Fire Ex Boyfriend Questions

minie

May 8, 2015 at 1:35 am

Hello Chris, I wish I had known your site sooner. I broke up a month ago and I hadn’t talked with my ex since then. I did a lot of thinking and when I felt that i know how to fix the relationship, I called him to come to return thing 2 days ago. When he came, I asked him if he still love me (exactly like the way he asked me when we broke up the first time). I wasn’t crying, begging or showing desperation. But then his parent called him and he had to leave, he told me that he would answer me that night. But it’s 2 days now and I still have not heard from him. What should I think about this?

Morgan

May 7, 2015 at 11:04 pm

Hi Chris,

I’m currently out of a relationship with my ex boyfriend of nine months and we broke up because he said that he didn’t have a “relationship mentality.” I didn’t quite know what to think when I told me this. I was hurt, sad, and I felt like it was nothing I could do at all about the situation. He told me he didn’t want me to feel mad at him and that he wanted to remain friends, but how can I be friends with someone I have loved and shared so much with? After the breakup we never talked about anything, he hasn’t tried to contact me of any sort and it makes me wonder why. Or did he even love me in the first place? His mom has been contacting me through the text and even writing posts about me on Facebook. I don’t want to be mean to her but it’s like I know she has to know that we aren’t together anymore. She recently sent me a package and it’s was the nicest thing ever. Its just making it harder for me to move forward. I recently contacted my ex to wish him good luck on his finals because my mom told me not to be mean to him. And I don’t have any hatred or anything towards him, I’m just respecting his decision and trying to move forward, but the conversation we had was more so him texting me with paragraphs that made it seem like he was interested in the conversation like he hasn’t talked to me in a while and was trying to catch up, but I don’t honestly don’t know and can’t tell because he is a very stubborn and nonchalant person. I just want to know what is he thinking right now? It’s been over almost 2 months and I don’t quite know what to do about our sotuation. Does that mean he’s interested again?

Maddy

May 7, 2015 at 3:15 pm

YES PLEASE I WANT/ NEED A PRIVATE SESSION PLEASSEEE ID PAY FOR THAT

Sherry

May 7, 2015 at 8:46 am

Chris you have helped me get my ex back before! Twice actually!!! And i have sent many girl friends to buy your book, so first of all thank you. Now, my ex and I have been broken up 6 months, after a 3 year off and on relationship. Just like your podcast, we were still having sex, and even after NC, we had sex again. But during no contact on month 5, he found someone else to have as a casual sex partner- as he described. In the last month, it’s been a little up and down. He seems to only be nice to have sex with me. Now last week (Thursday) he left for a 4 day vacation to Vegas with his boys. when I told him I met someone I actually liked, he ended up spending the WHOLE 4 days texting me back and forth. I mean allll day long. I know he was keeping tabs, making sure I wasn’t with this guy. But we talked so much we actually got closer. Come Tuesday when he gets back into town, he starts acting a little douchy/standoffish… No longer sweet on me as he was in Vegas. I mentioned that I didn’t appreciate his games anymore and that I felt manipulated, so to just bug off. He immediately started responding and saying sorry, and the he came over after work. He’s very cocky, and started saying how he could have me back in a week of he wanted- and that all he would have to do is buy me dinner, that this new guy stood no chance to him, and that he knew I still loved him. I got angry, but calmly said ” you stand no chance to this guy, cuz he’s the whole package and you have nothing to offer me. Now you think you can take me out for dinner and in a week I would take you back? I loved you, you broke my heart, treated me like sh** for 7 months and now your screwing another girl. There is nothing you can do to get me back, and I would put everything I own on it.” Now, I know my guy and reverse phycology works everything, and his is ego is through the roof, whenever I act disinterested or strong he always chases me. Tho after I did say that I am just feeling angry and that there is always going to be a part of me that is going to want to be with him :/ he then at that point said “I’m sorry too for all the mean things I said. Yes we had sex, left on a good note and haven’t spoken since.
1. How do I bring his ego back down to earth?
2. How do I make him feel off balance- by making him wonder if I still like him?
3, how do I make myself not an easy catch?

He is driven by sex, but I never shown him a strong independent girl who doesn’t need him. I think then he would want me. Help!!!!
Thank you!!!!

Esther

May 7, 2015 at 3:26 am

Hello again. I commented on a post about a month and a half ago after getting out of a two-year relationship. (He broke up with me saying that we could only be friends and that he couldn’t love me anymore than that. I felt that we had no problems in our relationship leading up to that point and that it was very sudden.) I was super upset over it and started the NC rule. Three weeks in, he contacted me and told me that it was the last text he was ever going to send me and that we couldn’t be friends if I still had feelings for him. He continued to tell me to delete all the pictures of us off of social media (which he unfollowed/unfriended me on, so he couldn’t even see my profiles anyway) and said he’d consider us being friends again if I could forget about my feelings.

I obliged and tried to have a casual conversation with him and he was being really awkward. He said we could never hang out alone and that he wasn’t ready to even see me yet. However, he said he was over me. The next day, I felt much better and I felt that I was on my way to getting over him. We haven’t contacted each other since that day. Over the next few weeks, I was feeling great. I wouldn’t cry or dwell on him at all.

Recently, I’ve been going back to my sadness though. I don’t know why, but I am starting to really want to talk to him again and get back together with him. I still love him and I wish he would contact me. I’m so confused and I don’t know what to do again. It’s been a month since we last talked, but he seems to be doing fine. I only see him when our mutual friends post pictures of him on social media. I’m trying to move on, but my heart is telling me that we are going to get back together. I miss him so much. Please help! Thanks.

Olga

May 6, 2015 at 8:19 am

Hey Chris,
I’ve been talking to my ex boyfriend for a couple days. I texted him about the band we both like right after the concert, like I had said I would. He didn’t reply right away and I knew he would need some time but I texted him again at 3 am saying I quite missed him. When I woke up I had 3 text messages from him, two regarding the concert and one saaying he missed me too and that my night texts didn’t help in not doing so. Then we texted all day long (I didn’t care about the rules of discipline) and it was so natural and nice. Then he said sth very surprising, that he didn’t think talking to me does him well and we barely have anything to talk about (really?! After the whole day of texting and chatting on facebook?) but on the other side he always enjoys it when I text him. It got me confused and I told him that hearing that he misses me in one second and that he would rather not have me in his life at all in the next one is confusing and he said ‘the thing is, I don’t know at all what I’d rather and I’m sorry for telling you this as you don’t need to hear this’. I told him he didn’t need to be sorry. Yesterday night I told him what he didnn’t need to hear, that I’d rather DO have him in my life, on a completely platonic level because I still find it normal that I can tell him whatever happens in my life and that it gives me peace when I know I can. Thus it is really hard to hear how toxic I am to him. He doesn’t understand how could I find peace this way and he regrets telling me anything (about not knowing what he wants) and he said he should’ve left it as it was. I know he’s scared to have me in his life so please tell me how to help him realize it’s safe to let me in… How do I convince him that he doesn’t have to avoid me?

Anna

May 6, 2015 at 1:02 am

Hello, i love your website and articles! I think the coaching idea is a very good one if enough people become interested, it would help a lot with people who have different or uncommon situations than what is already in the articles or podcasts, or even if people need a little extra help so they don’t feel stuck. I know you’re a busy man but for example i hit a “i don’t know what to do” situation lately and had a mini panic when something i didn’t expect happened. Me and my ex boyfriend had a general break up, he left me 1 month or so ago and i started NC, he was trying to rub his social life and other girls in my face, it got too day 10 and he realized i was ignoring him. He sent me an angry message regarding why i was ignoring him because i didn’t reply to an earlier message from him (he tried to contact me once before the angry message), then because i didn’t reply to that he deleted me off all social media apps/websites in anger. I’m not really sure how to proceed other than continuing the NC.

Janna

May 5, 2015 at 12:18 pm

oh and question too: my ex seems bored these days and he replies lightning fast (but he still talks to his crush he is dating). Should I take advantage of this and keep talking to him everyday? or should i keep my sistance and let him dwell on his boredom while i go out and have my own fun? I have a hard time estimating the right amount of availability and distance/space and time off. I sometimes think i could invite him out so we can hang out or so, but im afraid that might get me in the friendzone? Should I keep my pace or step up my game by taking advatnage of this boredom time?

JJ

May 4, 2015 at 11:48 pm

love the podcasts! I check the site every day after work! keep em coming ! 🙂

bella

May 4, 2015 at 2:37 am

We had long distance relationship after we brokeup I applied NC rule but friends I came to know he is hanging up with the girl who was the reason we brokeup
I had some miss conception about date therefore I wish him happy birthday after that he blocked me.

Kim

May 3, 2015 at 11:35 pm

It’s been 5 months since my ex and I broke up, but I got my ex boyfriend back thanks to your advice!! We got back together in late April after much discussion on how this time it was going to be different and he’s already given me back the key to his apartment today. And in that time apart, we got to date around, even slept with a different person, yet still reunited without any negative feelings towards each other. I even lost 20 lbs since the break-up. I feel like we’re on our way to fixing our relationship to the way it was meant to be in the first place. Before the bickering and everything else that took place in our first time around that didn’t have a honeymoon phase. For once, we finally got our timing right and are both very much affectionate with each other. 🙂 thank you so much, Chris!!

hana

May 3, 2015 at 2:48 pm

Hi chris. Can you pls write a guide on how to say goodbye to your ex? I find my ex is having difficulty letting me go and i’m getting married in 3mths time. I’ve been doing nc and all but he occasionally turns up at my work place and my house area. Doesn’t help that i may still have let over feelings; maybe more to pity feelings i guess? but i know for sure i do not want him back.

Talia

May 3, 2015 at 1:01 am

Hi Chris

My ldr ex broke up with me about 8 months ago.I immediately went into no contact and dealt with my own emotions and improving myself in private.We share a mutual friend (who I met him through) and recently our mutual friend commented on how he has been avoiding situations where he (the ex) might bump into me and being angry at any mention of me hanging out with our mutual friend.It’s really starting to irritate me especially when I have not reached out to my ex at all or spoken about him to anyone that could tell him.Also a few of his friends had crushes on me while we were dating and have said to him that he did not treat me properly and was silly for dumping me.I just want to know why he is so angry and avoiding me especially if I havent made any attempts to be around him.

Thanks

Rachel

May 2, 2015 at 4:30 am

Hey Chris, I just text the first message to my ex. I sent him a photo of a place and told him: I just walked by it today, and it makes me remember the time we walk 12 km around this lake. We were so good. He then replied: “Wow how come you walk that far”. and I replied “I just went out with friend then” … and he did not reply. How would you see it?? thank chris

Kendra

April 30, 2015 at 4:34 pm

Hello Chris,
Thank you for your amazing website and podcasts. I have been having a really hard time and I am starting to lose my hope of getting my ex back, but your website makes me have some positive ideas. I would absolutely love having you as a coach for getting my ex back and I believe that it would really help. My only issue is that as a college student I have very limited funds and this would be an unrealistic idea. For those that do have the option then you should definitely give them this opportunity. If I could then I would 100% take advantage. Maybe one day(:

Erin

April 30, 2015 at 4:07 am

I thought this episode was really good I learned some good points, although her recordings seems longer then 90 seconds.. I think the personal coaching is a great idea!!(I’ll be first in line lol) would you charge an initial fee or per coaching session? Thanks for everything you do and for my new bible- EBR Pro!! Your the greatest and your mems are awesome

Sadaf

April 29, 2015 at 6:32 pm

Hey Chris
This episode was super awesome 🙂
I know you’re really busy so I wanted to thank you for supporting us with all your articles and Podcasts
I’m from Iran I’ve been reading your website since 2 weeks ago ..
I liked your website so much that I recommended it to my friends ..Not simply to get their ex back, but also to know men and learn more about healthy relationships..
It’s such a shame that I can’t buy your books to learn more :(((
( he sanctions prevent us from having Master Card or anything like that…If only there were no sanctions 😐 )
Anyways, you’re doing a great job Chris …
Keep up the awsomeness 🙂

M.

April 29, 2015 at 6:23 pm

ehm.. I have a bit different question..Is it good if a guy you’re dating talks about his past relantionships and asks you about yours?? Because I’m not sure how to deal with it..

Kate

April 29, 2015 at 2:00 pm

Hi Chris!
Really loved this rapid fire podcast! As for the private coaching – I think this could be a very lucrative option for you. I am sure that women would much rather spend money on coaching along the way than o an e-book (although don’t get me wrong, I’ve been a devoted reader of yours and I love what you do! *mind*- ego stroke – but 100% honest! 😉

1. Is a guy who says he isn’t ready for commitment is a lost cause? (LDR, over a year, flights every 3-4weeks)
2. Do I even have a chance of getting him back, when he never actually “fell in love with me”. All his actions would have shown that he did, but straight forward he has told me he hasn’t fallen for me.
2. How do I find out if he’s moved on? We were in LDR and he’s very private on social media, I literally have no way of finding out unless I ask him.

I’ve been in NC for 24 days now. Why would I want him back? If actions speak louder than words (apparently not the case here) his actions were getting better and better with time and he treated me well and exactly how I’d like it to be in a relationship. LDR plan sidenote: I was looking for jobs in his country.

Insight: getting into this I knew he was relationship immature. While I have been in a couple longer relationships (one 5 years) he in his early 20’s was focusing on his career and has not been in a serious relationships that would last over a year. So I was afraid of this “not ready for commitment” line, as logically- I can understand it, yet I hate the idea of us not being together – for good.

Is there a way to work around it, or is it basically that he simply needs that carefree time – to be in a few relationships before committing? I have talked to my brothers and male friends about this and each of them said he wasn’t ready. Do I give up? Is it really a natural “way of how a man must progress” and for me – a lost cause.

My brothers also told me that if I’m the one he was learning with what a real relationship means (which lead to a few fights) – that it’s not only rainbows but also often hard work – that I’m prepping him for other women, yet not myself.

I’d really appreciate your input.

Rosa

April 29, 2015 at 12:32 pm

Hi Chris,

I think you should do the email coaching idea! I would definitely sign up (if it is a reasonable price) because I’m not sure what to do in my own situation. I really hope it works out for Cinnamon. She should have mentioned what she liked about him, because based on her voicemails he sounds like maybe he’s not a guy that will meet her needs.

Thank you so much Chris! I can’t wait for what you have in the works. I’m still hopeful that I will get my ex back with your advice.

Please do the email consulting soon! 😀

Best,
Rosa

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