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380 thoughts on “EBR 040: He Dumped Me For Another Girl… What Do I Do?”

  1. tiger

    January 28, 2016 at 2:16 pm

    Is it too late? Together for 17 years, married for 5, my husband unexpectedly left 3 months ago, until 2 weeks before he left he was still telling me he adored me -There is someone else, but he won’t admit it. we are on friendly terms because of our daughter, who he sees regularly. He is friendly, but just that.

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      January 29, 2016 at 10:11 am

      Hi Tiger,

      Hmm.. No, I don’t think it’s late. Are you doing nc now? And by the way, because of you have a daughter, it doesn’t have to be a total nc. I think you need this check this out to be more clear. The No Contact Rule (Version 2.0)

  2. tiger

    January 28, 2016 at 2:16 pm

    Is it too late? Together for 17 years, married for 5, my husband unexpectedly left 3 months ago, until 2 weeks before he left he was still telling me he adored me -There is someone else, but he won’t admit it. we are on friendly terms because of our daughter, who he sees regularly. He is friendly, but just that.

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      January 29, 2016 at 10:11 am

      Hi Tiger,

      Hmm.. No, I don’t think it’s late. Are you doing nc now? And by the way, because of you have a daughter, it doesn’t have to be a total nc. I think you need this check this out to be more clear. The No Contact Rule (Version 2.0)

  3. Essie

    January 25, 2016 at 8:12 am

    Is there any way to get a guy back if he just disappeared instead of actually breaking up? Will any of the tactics in this site work for that? I had an ldr with a guy for just under a year. We weren’t super serious bc he just got out of a marriage and wasn’t ready but things were good until a couple of months ago. He wouldn’t say anything was wrong but then he stopped contacting me. Went just shy of the 30 days NC in December before I finally texted him to see how he was. He answered quickly but was weirdly formal in his response and said we would catch up after the holidays. That was the last I heard from him. It’s been another 30 days and he hasn’t reached out. Neither of us really uses social media so I have no way of knowing what he’s doing. I know I probably shouldn’t want this guy back but I kinda do. Or at least I want to know what happened. Should I bother trying to contact him? Or should I give it a longer NC period to see if he reaches out?

    1. Essie

      January 25, 2016 at 7:21 pm

      We had regular contact via text/phone calls and traveled to see each other multiple times. We weren’t a “couple,” but it was an emotionally and physically intimate relationship, not just flirting.

    2. EBR Team Member: Amor

      January 26, 2016 at 10:14 am

      Hmm, now that’s a situation. I’m sorry to say this but I think he didn’t take the relationship seriously so, he didn’t think it was necessary to explain if he’s going to be busy. It was like just casual for him that you can talk after the holidays. So, that means you can reach out after nc, but the question is, are you willing to take it up to him, in the most non confrontational way possible of what you relationship status is?

      You said you’re in ldr but you are intimate physically too, so that means you see each from time to time? If that’s the case, stop the sex and ask him personally what your relationahip is, but prepared if he stops contacting again. Or you can stop sex and show him that you’re not the person he used to be with because you don’t want a relationship that has no labels

    3. EBR Team Member: Amor

      January 25, 2016 at 1:56 pm

      Hi Essie,

      Honestly that is rude. Is it clear to him that you have a relationship or he thinks you’re just being flirty with each other?

  4. Essie

    January 25, 2016 at 8:12 am

    Is there any way to get a guy back if he just disappeared instead of actually breaking up? Will any of the tactics in this site work for that? I had an ldr with a guy for just under a year. We weren’t super serious bc he just got out of a marriage and wasn’t ready but things were good until a couple of months ago. He wouldn’t say anything was wrong but then he stopped contacting me. Went just shy of the 30 days NC in December before I finally texted him to see how he was. He answered quickly but was weirdly formal in his response and said we would catch up after the holidays. That was the last I heard from him. It’s been another 30 days and he hasn’t reached out. Neither of us really uses social media so I have no way of knowing what he’s doing. I know I probably shouldn’t want this guy back but I kinda do. Or at least I want to know what happened. Should I bother trying to contact him? Or should I give it a longer NC period to see if he reaches out?

    1. Essie

      January 25, 2016 at 7:21 pm

      We had regular contact via text/phone calls and traveled to see each other multiple times. We weren’t a “couple,” but it was an emotionally and physically intimate relationship, not just flirting.

    2. EBR Team Member: Amor

      January 26, 2016 at 10:14 am

      Hmm, now that’s a situation. I’m sorry to say this but I think he didn’t take the relationship seriously so, he didn’t think it was necessary to explain if he’s going to be busy. It was like just casual for him that you can talk after the holidays. So, that means you can reach out after nc, but the question is, are you willing to take it up to him, in the most non confrontational way possible of what you relationship status is?

      You said you’re in ldr but you are intimate physically too, so that means you see each from time to time? If that’s the case, stop the sex and ask him personally what your relationahip is, but prepared if he stops contacting again. Or you can stop sex and show him that you’re not the person he used to be with because you don’t want a relationship that has no labels

    3. EBR Team Member: Amor

      January 25, 2016 at 1:56 pm

      Hi Essie,

      Honestly that is rude. Is it clear to him that you have a relationship or he thinks you’re just being flirty with each other?

  5. Noodles

    January 25, 2016 at 3:06 am

    Got into a fight with the boyfriend, well, not really a fight. Just a disagreement/misunderstanding. I walked out before I could say anything rash and he ran up to me and hugged me before I completely walked out and said he was sorry. The next morning I apologized and he ignored so I began NC, kinda, without realizing it. I sent a couple snaps of generic things, he never answered. Every day he looked at my snapchat stories. On day 9 or 10 of NC he reached out to tell me congrats about my new job. I just said “Thanks” and he didn’t reply. On day 19 he looked at my snapchat story really late at night(It was a picture of me saying “No don’t paint yourself as a cat” being silly), then deleted me as a friend out of no where. I kind of chalk it up as a mantrum but I’m unsure. I figure if he was truly indifferent he would have just left things alone and stopped looking at my stories. So here I am 22 days going strong except for the job reply slip up. Thoughts on this situation? Despite my slip up should I just go ahead and contact him on day 31? Is there any meaning to him deleting(not blocking) me on *just* snapchat 3/4 of the way through NC and not deleting/blocking me on any other fronts?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      January 25, 2016 at 4:30 am

      Hi Noodles!

      Yea, you can go ahead and contact him on day 31. 🙂 I think he did that so he won’t be able to see your snapchat posts anymore.

  6. Noodles

    January 25, 2016 at 3:06 am

    Got into a fight with the boyfriend, well, not really a fight. Just a disagreement/misunderstanding. I walked out before I could say anything rash and he ran up to me and hugged me before I completely walked out and said he was sorry. The next morning I apologized and he ignored so I began NC, kinda, without realizing it. I sent a couple snaps of generic things, he never answered. Every day he looked at my snapchat stories. On day 9 or 10 of NC he reached out to tell me congrats about my new job. I just said “Thanks” and he didn’t reply. On day 19 he looked at my snapchat story really late at night(It was a picture of me saying “No don’t paint yourself as a cat” being silly), then deleted me as a friend out of no where. I kind of chalk it up as a mantrum but I’m unsure. I figure if he was truly indifferent he would have just left things alone and stopped looking at my stories. So here I am 22 days going strong except for the job reply slip up. Thoughts on this situation? Despite my slip up should I just go ahead and contact him on day 31? Is there any meaning to him deleting(not blocking) me on *just* snapchat 3/4 of the way through NC and not deleting/blocking me on any other fronts?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      January 25, 2016 at 4:30 am

      Hi Noodles!

      Yea, you can go ahead and contact him on day 31. 🙂 I think he did that so he won’t be able to see your snapchat posts anymore.

  7. Sara

    January 24, 2016 at 4:03 pm

    Hello, my ex boyfriend of 7 years broke up with me over 6 months ago and we hardly had any contact. He said he missed me once and two months before this he said we would never get back together, so I went into a 2 month NC. He messaged me 3 weeks ago with an inside joke, which I responded to with the rest of the joke. Heard nothing from him since. Feels like an awkward situation. There have been other messages he has sent me during this time where he brags about where he’s been with his friends etc, but only a couple of times.

    I really don’t know what I can do or say at this point. Any pointers? I miss him a lot and am still very much in love with him, and this time apart has made me realise that. I feel pretty hopeless.

    1. Sara

      January 24, 2016 at 7:53 pm

      Also just found out he’s been liking other girl’s photos on instagram – I know… super stalker of me… but that really hurt me. Especially when I saw he liked a photo of this girl who used to like him when me and him were still together. Seeing that really hurt. I’ve also seen he’s been going on other adventures, like snowboarding etc.

  8. Sara

    January 24, 2016 at 4:03 pm

    Hello, my ex boyfriend of 7 years broke up with me over 6 months ago and we hardly had any contact. He said he missed me once and two months before this he said we would never get back together, so I went into a 2 month NC. He messaged me 3 weeks ago with an inside joke, which I responded to with the rest of the joke. Heard nothing from him since. Feels like an awkward situation. There have been other messages he has sent me during this time where he brags about where he’s been with his friends etc, but only a couple of times.

    I really don’t know what I can do or say at this point. Any pointers? I miss him a lot and am still very much in love with him, and this time apart has made me realise that. I feel pretty hopeless.

    1. Sara

      January 24, 2016 at 7:53 pm

      Also just found out he’s been liking other girl’s photos on instagram – I know… super stalker of me… but that really hurt me. Especially when I saw he liked a photo of this girl who used to like him when me and him were still together. Seeing that really hurt. I’ve also seen he’s been going on other adventures, like snowboarding etc.

  9. Worried

    January 24, 2016 at 1:36 am

    My ex and I dated for 2 years and lived together as friends 2 years before we dated. Our story is that my ex lost his job and moved back home which put us in an LDR. After he found a new job I was going to move with him. The job he has lined up fell through and he started thinking about going back to college. After he told me about going back to school he started to become distant. The last weekend I spent with him he talked about marriage. A week later we got into a fight and he ignored me for a week. When he finally called it was to break up. He started dating a girl that he was friends with, I have met her several times. I always trusted him and didn’t ever think he would fall for this girl. (She is a Tom boy with masculin mannerisms, I am more of a girly girl but not high maintnense)

    After we broke up I did ask him to reconsider and did beg. We only texted on 2 different days after the break up. I went into 30 days NC, then sent him a text with no response. ( I think I was blocked) waited two weeks and sent an email with no response. I went into another 30 days no contact and have a few days left. Do I just continue with an extended no contact or try reaching out again.

    1. Worried

      January 26, 2016 at 5:39 pm

      I wouldn’t say possative but he didn’t tell me to go away. Just short with his response.

    2. Worried

      January 25, 2016 at 7:29 pm

      So I reached out today. Found out he had my phone and my email blocked. I sent an email from work and he responded. I made it friendly, he responded but it was very short. Did not seam to go well. Where do I go from here?

    3. EBR Team Member: Amor

      January 26, 2016 at 10:33 am

      was it positive though?

    4. EBR Team Member: Amor

      January 24, 2016 at 12:57 pm

      I think you can try reaching out again

  10. Worried

    January 24, 2016 at 1:36 am

    My ex and I dated for 2 years and lived together as friends 2 years before we dated. Our story is that my ex lost his job and moved back home which put us in an LDR. After he found a new job I was going to move with him. The job he has lined up fell through and he started thinking about going back to college. After he told me about going back to school he started to become distant. The last weekend I spent with him he talked about marriage. A week later we got into a fight and he ignored me for a week. When he finally called it was to break up. He started dating a girl that he was friends with, I have met her several times. I always trusted him and didn’t ever think he would fall for this girl. (She is a Tom boy with masculin mannerisms, I am more of a girly girl but not high maintnense)

    After we broke up I did ask him to reconsider and did beg. We only texted on 2 different days after the break up. I went into 30 days NC, then sent him a text with no response. ( I think I was blocked) waited two weeks and sent an email with no response. I went into another 30 days no contact and have a few days left. Do I just continue with an extended no contact or try reaching out again.

    1. Worried

      January 26, 2016 at 5:39 pm

      I wouldn’t say possative but he didn’t tell me to go away. Just short with his response.

    2. Worried

      January 25, 2016 at 7:29 pm

      So I reached out today. Found out he had my phone and my email blocked. I sent an email from work and he responded. I made it friendly, he responded but it was very short. Did not seam to go well. Where do I go from here?

    3. EBR Team Member: Amor

      January 26, 2016 at 10:33 am

      was it positive though?

    4. EBR Team Member: Amor

      January 24, 2016 at 12:57 pm

      I think you can try reaching out again

  11. Shai

    January 24, 2016 at 1:05 am

    Hey guys…. I feel so lost, with regards to my ex. We dated for 2 years, and he broke up with me unexpectedly around 3 months ago. From a few friends, and my own observation, he started spending time with a new girl only DAYS after our breakup. They still spend a LOT of time together, and it’s obvious that they like each other, but they’re not “facebook official” yet. I don’t know why. He thinks I don’t know that she exists (my snooping has been very discreet).

    After a couple weeks of trying and failing no contact, I decided to complete it. 30 days later, I broke it with one of your recommended texts. I got a positive response, and my ex and I have been texting almost every day for a month, now. I put more effort into our conversations than he does, and I’m hesitant to try to meet up with him, when he’s so obviously into this other girl, and barely wanting to talk to me.

    I don’t know how to make him more invested into talking to me, and I don’t know how to compete with this other girl. She’s two years younger than my ex and I, she’s a lot prettier than me, and she agrees with him on more politics than I do.

    I don’t know if he lined her up before breaking up with me, or what… Needless to say, I’m pretty discouraged. I haven’t mentioned our past relationship, or his relationship with her.

    What can I do?

    1. Shai

      January 24, 2016 at 3:39 pm

      I would never try to sabotage their relationship. I know it won’t last (religious differences, LDR when he graduated college, etc.), so I just need to stay in the picture until then. How can I get him to be more enthusiastic about talking to me?

    2. EBR Team Member: Amor

      January 25, 2016 at 10:23 am

      The topics should be in his interest. It should be excting for him. It helps if he sees that you’re genuinely interested in it too

    3. EBR Team Member: Amor

      January 24, 2016 at 2:30 pm

      Hi Shai,

      First, don’t be too forward about getting him back because he will side with his new girl, especially if they in honey moon phase now. Be a source of happiness and positivity for him but don’t force it. If you have places like church that you would bump into each other, make sure to look your best and let him approach you. the goal is to keep him connected so you can establish that you are the better choice.

  12. Shai

    January 24, 2016 at 1:05 am

    Hey guys…. I feel so lost, with regards to my ex. We dated for 2 years, and he broke up with me unexpectedly around 3 months ago. From a few friends, and my own observation, he started spending time with a new girl only DAYS after our breakup. They still spend a LOT of time together, and it’s obvious that they like each other, but they’re not “facebook official” yet. I don’t know why. He thinks I don’t know that she exists (my snooping has been very discreet).

    After a couple weeks of trying and failing no contact, I decided to complete it. 30 days later, I broke it with one of your recommended texts. I got a positive response, and my ex and I have been texting almost every day for a month, now. I put more effort into our conversations than he does, and I’m hesitant to try to meet up with him, when he’s so obviously into this other girl, and barely wanting to talk to me.

    I don’t know how to make him more invested into talking to me, and I don’t know how to compete with this other girl. She’s two years younger than my ex and I, she’s a lot prettier than me, and she agrees with him on more politics than I do.

    I don’t know if he lined her up before breaking up with me, or what… Needless to say, I’m pretty discouraged. I haven’t mentioned our past relationship, or his relationship with her.

    What can I do?

    1. Shai

      January 24, 2016 at 3:39 pm

      I would never try to sabotage their relationship. I know it won’t last (religious differences, LDR when he graduated college, etc.), so I just need to stay in the picture until then. How can I get him to be more enthusiastic about talking to me?

    2. EBR Team Member: Amor

      January 25, 2016 at 10:23 am

      The topics should be in his interest. It should be excting for him. It helps if he sees that you’re genuinely interested in it too

    3. EBR Team Member: Amor

      January 24, 2016 at 2:30 pm

      Hi Shai,

      First, don’t be too forward about getting him back because he will side with his new girl, especially if they in honey moon phase now. Be a source of happiness and positivity for him but don’t force it. If you have places like church that you would bump into each other, make sure to look your best and let him approach you. the goal is to keep him connected so you can establish that you are the better choice.

  13. Lillian

    January 23, 2016 at 6:51 am

    So, this is one of the things I am really worried about :/
    Me and my ex have been on and off again. At the moment we’re off. We got back together for a few months but then he just started taking me for granted. He just doesn’t seem to know how to be in a relationship or what to do. When we’re just hanging out, things are great, but if there are any problems then he just shuts down and then says its over. Which is what just happened. If there had been no argument then we woukd have continued on as usual and everything would be fine. I love him to pieces but I don’t know what to do. Its like he has no idea how to face and resolve problems.
    But at the same time im so worried that he will find someone else and then everything will be fine wuth them because it just magically works.
    I tried talking to him about these problems he has when he broke up with me, but I don’t know if he’ll ever change. He said he would talk to me today and I said I’d rather he talked to me next week.
    I’m not sure whether to go straight into no contact or have the talk in a few days and go into no contact.

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      January 23, 2016 at 2:51 pm

      Hi Lillian,

      If he really is not good in relationships, he will still be if ever he finds another. For me yes, since you tried to talk to him but it didn’t have a good result.

  14. Lillian

    January 23, 2016 at 6:51 am

    So, this is one of the things I am really worried about :/
    Me and my ex have been on and off again. At the moment we’re off. We got back together for a few months but then he just started taking me for granted. He just doesn’t seem to know how to be in a relationship or what to do. When we’re just hanging out, things are great, but if there are any problems then he just shuts down and then says its over. Which is what just happened. If there had been no argument then we woukd have continued on as usual and everything would be fine. I love him to pieces but I don’t know what to do. Its like he has no idea how to face and resolve problems.
    But at the same time im so worried that he will find someone else and then everything will be fine wuth them because it just magically works.
    I tried talking to him about these problems he has when he broke up with me, but I don’t know if he’ll ever change. He said he would talk to me today and I said I’d rather he talked to me next week.
    I’m not sure whether to go straight into no contact or have the talk in a few days and go into no contact.

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      January 23, 2016 at 2:51 pm

      Hi Lillian,

      If he really is not good in relationships, he will still be if ever he finds another. For me yes, since you tried to talk to him but it didn’t have a good result.

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