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The Complete Guide For Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back
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The Male Mind AFTER The No Contact Rule
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solo mummy
March 28, 2014 at 9:24 pm
hey chris! i’ve posted a wee bit – i have a wee 2 year old girl with my ex who i was with for just under 3 years – we split up a few months ago and within days he moved on to another girl (who had been chasing him for months prior to our split) right throughout this though he has maintained there is a chance of reconciliation for us, that our issues just need some time to sort through (though the whole moving on thing kinda put a whole new spin on things – esp as he didn’t tell me until months into it) he’s maintained mostly that whats happening at the moment isn’t a reflection on me or the relationship and that hes going through something himself that he has to work through (a line?) anyways i completed 30days NC just over a week ago and have been talking to him a wee bit since then, trying to be friendly but i have found within myself i’m not feeling very solid and have had some seriously dark thoughts several times in the last week, this is not his fault obviously but i wasn’t having them prior to resuming contact with him so i would wonder if perhaps i’m not ready to be friends with him? i then have spoken to him about thinking i need more space and he fights for the friendship? but he wont fight for the relationship? also during NC i lost 14kilos, bought some new clothes & make up, started doing circuit training once a week and met up with a couple of guys so i wasn’t just sitting at home missing him 🙂 do you think i should try NC again or kind of ride it out with the friendship? i suspect with the issues we have if we can build a solid friendship it will grow in time back into a relationship..
admin
March 30, 2014 at 8:37 pm
Let me get your thoughts. Do you think another NC period is good for your situation?
solo mummy
March 30, 2014 at 11:00 pm
i’m not sure, i feel it could go either way… i just wonder if being friends with him right now is enabling him to keep going down the road he’s going on right now? i think he needs it cause otherwise he misses me & therefore feels the pain he’s currently avoiding? i probably sound crazy!
Sheena
March 28, 2014 at 2:48 pm
hi sir! i googled on how to win my child’s father back and i found this page. when i read through this, i have applied some, but ’twas not perfectly done. i hope you can give me a piece of advice in my situation. we’ve been together for more than 4 years. but we broke up 6 months ago. during the 3rd year of our relationship, i got pregnant and now we have a one year old child. when we knew i was pregnant, we decided to get married. he talked to my family to ask for my hand. but there was a problem, and still a problem now. we have different religion. im a catholic and he is an Iglesia ni Cristo. My family wanted that we’ll get married in catholic, and after that its up to us if we’ll get married again in their religion. but there’s a rule in their religion that once he get baptized in other religion, he cant go back anymore. and he don’t want to be catholic. he’d rather be on other religion, than to be a catholic. and so we didn’t end up married. but after i gave birth’ we live together for 9 months. and on that 9th month, my cousin saw him with other woman. that really broke my heart, and i broke up with him. but living the days without him, i realized i was miserable. so i tried to win him back, but he always chose the other girl. though there was times that he’d like to reconcile (just to reconcile, not to get together again), but he always end up angry with me because i was texting with his gf, telling his gf about what we had talked (but i was just only answering his gf’s questions honestly). and now, they are in their 6 months of relationship. i want him back. i mean, i want him beg on me again. i want us to be family again without me looking like chasing on him. what should i do?
admin
March 28, 2014 at 5:02 pm
Are you trying any type of limited contact on him?
Sheena
March 28, 2014 at 5:17 pm
yes i did. but the longest is only 1 week. i need to contact him for our child.
Sheena
March 28, 2014 at 5:36 pm
when we communicate on text, we only talked about our son (mostly). but there were times that we cant avoid to talk about us. and all we do is to blame each other. he blamed me that i refused her marriage proposal, that i didn’t fight for him. and i’d blame him for having another woman. i didn’t act on him like i want him back, i don’t want him to see that. i just want him to realize our worth and be back with us without me being obvious on my real intention. i want to be “ungettable”, “hard to get” like what you wrote on the page..
candace
March 28, 2014 at 2:43 pm
Me and my ex broke up 6 days ago. We have been together on and off for 5 years due to arguing he cheated before and when things get hot for our household rather than stepping up like a man he runs from the responsibility he begged for me to do for him. . We are both 23 years oldAt one point we were planning on getting married and we have a little 1 year old boy together. It is day 4 of strict NC. Im doinh NC and not LC because whenever we arent together he goes sometimes 3 weeks without asking about him so I know for a fact at this point its about both me and mu kid or nothing at all and then when I say im done with him then he is all of a sudden my son this my son that. So ive attempted nc before and never finished and made progress but took him back too early he changed a little but then went back to being lazy as far as our relationship. So now I am determined to do 30 day NC. I know him well enough to know he is going to pop up at our house if I ignore him. He is currently staying at his mother’s house. What do I do about that? And after the 30 days is up im going to tell him his cousin asked me to come over to try to have sex because we broke up and I cursed him out. This cousin is the same one who tries to put him on with other women and mess up our relationship and he hangs with them not really realizing they dont give a crap about him. Even at one point a underaged high school girl was messing around with him. Just horrible. I have been trying to get him to cut them off and grow up and be committed and focus on our family. He is 100% great till he gets around his cousins and then when he does cut them off by his own choice they show up unannounced to our house to try to get him to party with them. They all cheat on their girls and are whores. They are his poison I feel. So my question is: what to do when he pops up unannounced during the 30 day NC, what to do for him to permanently change and value our family if he doesnt want to lose us and be committed, and what to do after the 30 days of NC detailed so I dont mess this up. Im tired of on and off and just want this to be permanent. We all know he is going to try to come back. Whole family says it infront of me and him. What exactly do I do for those situations so I dont mess up?
Kayla A
March 28, 2014 at 5:51 am
The father of my child and I have been together for 2 years. The 2nd year on and off. He broke up with me when I was 9 months pregnant. We now live 25 mins away from eachother. When I’m home, he barely texts me but when I’m at his house, he acts like we’re together. If he feels like it or if it seems to him I’m not giving him enough attention. It seems like if i text him first or when I’m there and show him attention, seems like he’s just “eh”. But when I don’t, that’s when he texts me or wants to be all LOVEY DOVEY. Don’t get me wrong, and I might sound corny for this, but when we love, we love hard!! And we can also click like GREAT friends!!! I’m most certain that he talks to other females. But when I do, he acts like it doesn’t phase him, but it’s obvious it does!!! He can be so sometimey!!!! Idk what to do!!! 30 day rule or not even pursue it!?
Sarah
March 24, 2014 at 10:35 pm
Ive been with my baby daddy for 8 years. The end of our 8 years have been rocky. Theres been alot of blaming and trust issues. We separated for 9 months but still had minimum contact over that time. Him more than me. I guess I chase him a little… During this period he was messing around with someone else also going to bars etc. Eventually we got back together near the end of the nine month period and started talking. He eventually moved in with me when where.he was staying wasn’t enjoyable anymore. He lived with me for about 6 months. We got along at first but towards the end I felt he was mooching off of me and we began to argue. So when I took him to work one day he called me to pick him up and I told him that it would be later and he got mad. He went to a friend’s house and didn’t come back to see me or his three kids for 6 weeks. He ignored most of my calls and text at first or said he was working all the time. Finally I got him to come over if I picked him up.When he came back he stayed for three days and when he left he said he would come back but ended up answering my call and said he would call back but never did. He has been ignoring all calls and text for three weeks now. He has missed both of our boys birthday celebrations.. Ive tried no contact for a week. Ive tried threatening him with child support and nothing works for him to see or wonder about his kids. He doesn’t even help financially. What.can I do to make him care?
admin
March 25, 2014 at 4:40 pm
8 years and he hasn’t even tried to marry you?
Sarah
March 25, 2014 at 5:57 pm
At first when we met we both said we didn’t want to be married but over the years I changed myy mind and he just had a question mark.he gave me a ring twice though. But his excuse is always that we have too many issues at the moment. when we first got together everything was ok. But over time I began to notice he had a drinking problem. Thats been our battle for most of this relationship. That and that he is always at work. He would leave me home with the kids 14 hrs a day. Another big issue is his friends. He seemed to be around more before we had our kids.
Over the years it seems like we always come last. And after our third child in 2011 he seemed to flake off even more. since 2011 with time apart and everything he really hasn’t been there for most of her two year old life. When I had her he went to jail a day before my surgery. So I was left to do it on my own. Then with our second child in 2009 he was there but after my surgery he left for work and came back drunk and was asked to leave. It seems like after we had kids he didn’t have as much interest and of course I always got blamed bc he said he didn’t want to come around because of me. Of course its always me and everything is always my fault bc I get upset and according to him im just supposed to be quiet and he would come around more.. I don’t know how to make this man care… I love him so much but it seems like he just eants to do whats best for him. I really want to know how to want us. Please help, im stressed because im scared mayb with so much lost interest in us we will be replaced.
Sarah
March 26, 2014 at 4:30 pm
Do you think in reading my posts that a month of NC will make him want to come back. Bc he has been no contact with me for a
three weeks going on a month. He ignores every call and every text and I am doing minimal text, only about the kids. I want him to come back bc my kids keep asking where there dad is and I have no answers.
Dianna
March 24, 2014 at 9:45 pm
So although I am pretty sure my ex boyfriend is in a rebound relationship I still dunno how good of a chance I have at getting him and our family back. We dated for about 3 years straight and then 2 years on and off. Everytime we broke up I was the one who did the breaking up because I not only have semi high standards (which I now realize) but I also always got scared during certain situation and the only thing I thought to do was leave but he always found ways to fix it. We started dating in highschool and always dreamed about being highschool sweethearts. After our first break up, when we got back together about 2 weeks later he asked me to marty him, I declined because we had just got back together and I wanted and thought it be best to take things slow so we could hopefully fix our problems. We then broke up a couple times and the 2nd last time we broke up I rebounded and it only last about 2 months…shortly after my ex and I rekindled our love towards eachother and started dating again and everything was going amazing we both thought we finally fixed things, we started talking again about marriage, kids, getting a place together…well the one thing we decided on was creating a child of our own…well when i told him we were expecting i know he got scared but asked what we were going to do and things escalated from there over a month and a bit span and after it all I didnt feel like he was 100% for any of it even after he planned it all with me, I felt like i wasnt truly loved so i did what I do best and left…we stayed in contact txted all the time, hungout and then in November he decided he wanted to move a couple provinces away to work and pay off debts…he asked for my permission and obviously not together I told him he can do what he wants but not to forget about his soon to be son. So he left a couple weeks later and we stayed in contact still! We planned on me coming out once the baby was a couple months old, we were flirting and everything still…then he came home for christmas and although we had argued a couple times we were still kinda flirting, he was still tryin to win me over and we were gunna chill but he got a call to go back to work early so i didnt get to see him and then a week and a half later he is then in a relationship with a girl he had JUST met so this is how I know or think he is in a rebound relationship…but what scares me is my ex is not the type to leave a relationship he stays and fights even if he feels nothing is there…they’ve now been together for 2.5 months but he works a lot so they dont see eachother much and if they do its only the time he is home to sleep/rest before having to go back to work…our son arrived into the world a weekish ago and although he wasnt there to be apart of it We faced time so he cud somewhat be and since have texted and talked mainly about our son and when he may be coming home but thats about it….i know we both messed up and i know i did in many ways to but from the day i found out we were expecting i wanted nothing more to have my family together I just needed to feel loved and also need my ex to mature a little bit knowing he had a son on the way…financially hes matured so far and i thought from all our plans that something would have happened between us and what not but then unexpectingly he got a gf which no one saw coming like i said….i just dont know what to do && it sucks sitting here everyday watching my little man grow and not having his father experience it the way i am.
admin
March 25, 2014 at 4:39 pm
I am sorry about this.
No offense but your man seems very immature. The gf could be a rebound.
Jay
March 21, 2014 at 7:38 am
Hi Chris,
I need advice ASAP. My fiancé and I have been together a lil over a yr. I’m older by 2 yrs. we moved really fast in the beginning, moved in together and got pregnant 4months into the relationship. We now have a beautiful daughter that is 3 months. He has cheated on me numerous times and I always forgive him simply because I believe it’s partially my fault because I nag, I’m controlling and appear needy plus the fact that he’s never been in a real relationship b4, I try to understand. He has potential to b a great partner and he’s really good to me sometimes.
About a week ago, We had a very emotional break up. For 2days we didn’t speak until I needed pampers and then the next day he asked to see our daughter. Now another 2days has passed with no contact. I miss him very much and I fear him spending time with someone else. I just don’t want too much time to go by. I don’t want anybody filling my slot. I think he has potential to b a great partner but he takes me for granted. Like I said I love him, he’s the father of my beautiful baby girl. We never had a break like this and it’s hurting me. My question is how long should I wait to contact him or should I wait for him to make the first move? I don’t feel a month is necessary? I really wanna just work things out and have him home. Please help me. I’m stressed
admin
March 21, 2014 at 5:11 pm
This is troubling.. If your fiance has cheated on you multiple times it isn’t just a one time slip up. Do you know how many other women he has done it with?
Rose
March 15, 2014 at 8:01 pm
Hi! My situation is: I was dating this guy for 5 months, then I got pregnant. We had broken up a couple weeks before I found out that I was pregnant. No I am not a slut btw. It has been difficult but we manage to co parent pretty well, and he is a -phenomenal- father. Our families are even in contact and get together & love our son. I am into him and I’d like us to be a real family, but he’s just not into me. I am smart and reasonably attractive. Not a model but definitely cute. 🙂 So – we did try to be together again, and he wasn’t into me. We’re in constant positive contact, get along well, and never fight in front of our son. Rarely fight anyway. I feel like I gave up a lot to keep him in our son’s life, and I am glad I did but I would like to know if he will ever change his mind about me… 🙁
admin
March 18, 2014 at 4:50 pm
What do you think is missing for him? Do you think he just doesn’t feel the chemistry?
Heart
March 15, 2014 at 5:29 am
My ex of 3 years cheated on me while I was pregnant with a bartender who’s much older then me and now is currently his gf. He was my first everything. Our son is currently 2 months old and he’s only been in his life for about an hr. He only visited 3 times each visit was about 10 minutes long. He didn’t even show up to his sons birth. He first tried hiding her by blocking his Instagram from me. He broke up with me first. He denied that he cheated on me even though I saw her name on his phone during my 5th month of pregnancy. He’s admitted that she’s prettier then me but hasn’t denied that she’s a hoe.It’s been 23 days of no contact and he still hasn’t contacted me asking about his son. Should I prolong the no contact rule to 45 or until he contacts me. How do I get him to leave his new gf.
Bekah
March 14, 2014 at 4:56 pm
My husband of 10 years (together for 12) left me 3 months ago. His mother (and best friend) died VERY UNEXPECTEDLY a year ago. We both became very depressed … I had been denying that fact that I was depressed for even longer though.
Initially, he told me that he needed to “find himself” and that we would work on ourselves as well as our relationship. During this time, it was apparent that he was lying to me about where he was all the time. I became the typical crazed ex – calling/texting/spying/yelling/crying/etc – and it just pushed him further and further away. 2 weeks ago, I found out that THE WHOLE TIME he had been “talking to” another girl. I feel like I just pushed him closer into her arms. I freaked out again and tried to talk to her and she said she didn’t know we were “trying to work things out” and that she didn’t want to be “that girl.” However, they are now still “talking”…but he is not honest with her about me.
I feel like I have tried everything. I attempted NC, but, because we have two kids together, it was impossible. I am so glad I found this page! I have been reading everything you have written and I was never sure how to incorporate it into my “unique” situation. Since Monday, I have been trying to talk only about the kids and to be as pleasant as possible (and working on me in the meantime – aka gym, therapy, friends, clothes, hair, etc) but I am worried that if our only interactions are about the kids then all I will be to him is the “mom” not the fun-loving, confident, strong woman he once loved. He tells me he loves me and that he is confused about if he wants to be single, with me, or with “her.” I don’t want to push him away even more by being TOO distant…he constantly texts me about his day to day, his frustrations, concerns, feelings, when things are going well, when they aren’t, etc. Like I said, I try to only respond when it’s about the kids, but if I don’t offer the “emotional support” and SHE does, won’t that just make them closer???
Thanks again for all your time on this project and your advice! You are a good man!
Dani
March 10, 2014 at 3:09 am
Me and my boyfriend were together for a year then I got pregnant and everything was fine we would fight on and off because he was on the fence about having a kid but then he accepted it and seemed excited we would go baby shopping we were together 24/7 and then one night he was coming home from work as he works out of town for weeks at a time and he kept calling me saying how much he missed me and couldn’t wait to see me and feel our baby kick . Then he doesn’t show up and I find out he ditched me to drink and met a girl and never spoke to me again left me 6 months pregnant completely heart broken and devastated 🙁 he didn’t even come to see his daughter be born and hasn’t made much of an effort since. I am best friends with his sister and she said the girl he left me for now his girlfriend who he happens to be living with said she will leave him if he sees his child. I am so confused and stuck in a bad place and don’t know how to move on or what to do …. I don’t want to move on I still love him and hope we can be a family one day even after he hurt me so bad I don’t know why I still love him. I feel as though he got scared and when things set in for him that he was having a baby he ran away because that was easier. Help me 🙁
admin
March 10, 2014 at 5:52 pm
Are you still pregnant?
Dani
March 10, 2014 at 8:59 pm
No my daughter is 6 months old
Na
March 8, 2014 at 12:11 pm
I’ve been involved with my kids father for 7 years, then the beginning of this year he tells me he is with someone else. After the fact that he cheated on his girlfriend he had for 18+ years. He tells me I shouldn’t be mad about the new girlfriend because we was never together from the jump. I have tried my best to move on from this man and I keep getting myself pulled right back in, I don’t know if it’s was because he always told me I was the one he was gonna marry me or the fact that he loved me;I thought). He said it was because of my attitude(which I had one) but I pretty much think a female would if she was getting told every other month she was sleeping with different dudes. Which I wasn’t I out my life on hold for him 7 years straight. I’m very confused no one can help me with this situation. My girls are very confused because he doesn’t come around as much as he used to. He would come over everyday( I even movers down four blocks and around a corner) he sees them maybe twice out of the whole month. Please help me and let me know on what to do.
admin
March 8, 2014 at 7:22 pm
Oh my god, seriously?
That is so cold.
To be honest, I severely dislike men who cheat on women who are the mother of their child. It is the most cowardly thing to do ever.
Na
March 8, 2014 at 9:42 pm
He don’t care I pretty much have giving up on this man I really wanted my family together. Wishful thinking
Rachael
March 5, 2014 at 8:21 pm
Hi, Right now im in a confused state.. me and my were together for 4 years and we had our son last may, I had gotten very sick and was in the hospital for two months after that we moved a different state, and began living with my parents till we got on our feet.month later he moved out, he rarely came to my parents house to see me and his son. over the holidays he broke up with me saying he doesnt have feelings for me anymore. the next day he was with another girl. I didnt talk to him about a month I called his phone every day but no answer I was devastated.. two months laster he wants to live together and work things out for our son, and he loves me but only bc I am the mother of his child. he says the girl and him are just friends and they chill.. What should I do Move in with him so he can see his son or just move on and wait for him to want to be in the picture.
admin
March 7, 2014 at 6:16 am
This is a tough situation because when a child is involved you have to amend your strategy to figure out whats best for them.
Let me ask you a question though. Do you think he is a good father? Do you think he is a good boyfriend?
Honestly?
melanie
February 24, 2014 at 4:22 am
Me and my child’s father jus agreed on Mc he says he really hopes this helps us because he loves me too much to let me go he’s in a rebound relationship though is it good that he agreed on it and wants this to help us?? We need this time to resolve our personal problems that ruined our relationship please tell me this is good
Jm
February 23, 2014 at 4:29 pm
My boyfriend of 14 years just broke up with me a few days ago. We have 2 amazing girls together. We were engaged. He decided after a year of living separately, but still being together and trying to get our relationship back on track that it was best to end it. He said that what he has put me through is not fair to me and I don’t deserve it. He also said that he just doesn’t love me the way he should anymore. There was arguing with in the year we lived separately, but for me it was because I had no idea why all of this was happening… He never wanted to talk about it. He said the whole time that it has nothing to do with anyone else, that this is between us. I still love him and want nothing more than to be a family together. I feel like at the moment I need time to myself, time to figure things out. Yesterday, when he dropped the girls off to me, he made sure to let me know he is available if I need help, that I could bask him for what ever I needed help with…. He grabbed my hand and hugged me as I cried telling him that at this moment it’s just hard to ask him for things like I used to. I then walked away and didn’t look back. When the girls called to talk to him, I purposely left the room and made myself busy to avoid and awkward conversation. But I felt sad when he didn’t wanna talk (my emotions are all over the place right now). I know that if I need anything that has to do with the girls I can and will ask him for help, but for other things… Even though I know he’d help I’m just not ready. I’m going to try and get some of my things to day when he’s not there just to avoid the awkwardness. I guess after reading other peoples comments when is it a good time to start MC? Is it too soon?
Theresa
February 21, 2014 at 5:52 am
Hi Chris,
I have begun the MC. I do have a few questions though. The short of it, my ex has apologised for taking me for granted via note on my iPad, also saying that he doesn’t love me the way I want him to, that I deserved to be happy, and he hopes I can someday forgive him. We were together off and on for 6 years. During the off times we conceived our first daughter and our second. He was very angry at me keeping our second daughter and I had thought we were finished. Toward the last trimester, he began warming up, we had always hung out with each other’s families and ran errands, but it began getting intimate again. He would take me out on dates again. Spend the night. A month after our second daughter was born, he started seeing his coworker who is also 21 years old (I’m 30 and he is 29. She is in university, he has just started college). I found out a month later. And I left it but was so angry. I started dating just to get my mind off him (nothing serious). He came back and cheated on her with me for 5 months. It was very flip floppy. He would tell me he loves me, misses me, wants to come home… Then a few days after being intimate, he would tell me to move on. But me gifts for no reason. Just after New Years, he broke up with her. But wouldn’t come home. Mind you, each time he would tell me to move on, I would make all of the mistakes you aren’t supposed to make when trying to get your ex back. And then I would give up and then he would pull me back in. So I reached out to her a few days after they broke up and we compared notes. He lied to her to get her, and after she knew the truth, she stayed anyway. He would lie to me and say he didn’t know if he loved her, or he felt things were over (she also cheated on him after they took a break in September and continued to do so for two months). Anyway, after that conversation, I told her to take him. That she could have him. He continued to lead me on saying they were not together and he didn’t know if he wanted to be with her. She reached out to me to verify a few stories, and more lies came out. Since that day after telling her she could have him, I have not bothered him about anything.
The apology came last Monday on my iPad (he watches the girls at my place while I go out. Takes them when he can due to scheduling at work and school. Also doesn’t really prioritise our kids). I don’t really text him unless it has to do with the girls, sometimes I send him random pics of his daughters. He does things like get me lift tickets to go snowboarding with my friends. Texts me under the guise of our daughters but shows jealousy when he thinks I am on a date. Tries to talk to me about his girlfriend. I usually give him short responses unless it’s to do with our kids.
Should I stop messaging him pics of his daughters and ignore him when he sends pics of them to me when he takes them overnight? And if he reaches out to me and does nice things, should I say thank you, or ignore it? And what does it mean if he continues doing nice things for me?
Theresa
February 21, 2014 at 6:15 am
Oh, and also Chris… He is with her again. His entire family is angry at him and doesn’t condone his treatment of me, nor his relationship with his girlfriend. He has made it clear that he doesn’t “love me like that, and loves me the right way in the way he only can”. Not sure if the mc will work, is there even a point?
Kelly
February 19, 2014 at 11:48 pm
Hi Chris thanks for reading my comment I’m desperate and am not sure what to do next! I have three children with my ex we broke up 18 months ago after 8 years together (I know now I was influenced by friends n family into the breakup) I deeply regret it as I love him very much still! Within a week of us splitting he was seeing a woman nearly 20 years his senior whom he has worked with for 5 years . Last April she left her husband of 28 years to be with him I told my ex in June last year that I still loved him but he looked me straight in the eyes and told me he had no feelings what so ever towards me. When he was coming to pick the children up he was always nasty to me telling me every week he wanted nothing to do with me as I was nothing to him anymore. We now have someone else do the hand overs with the children. He won’t keep the children overnight as he has told me he doesn’t want me meeting anyone else as he doesn’t want another man in the kids lives we don’t have any contact what so ever any more since November he doesn’t even ring about the children. I just don’t get why he can’t be civil with me for the sake of the kids. It kills me to think we will never to be together again have I any chance of getting him back or should I just accept he doesn’t love me anymore?
admin
February 20, 2014 at 7:41 pm
Man… 20 years older than him?
Is he crazy?
Kelly
February 21, 2014 at 1:34 am
I know she’s 50 and he is 31 she actually has a son 2 years younger than him!
monica
February 16, 2014 at 1:07 pm
Hi Chris can u spare a few minutes plz..my exboyfriend broke up with me in december after 10 year relationship.we had a 7year old son and I help him bought up his 12years old son from another relationship.we stay.at my mum and they always quarrel.one day they quarrel and say ugly words to each other and I told him to leave.I called him afterwards and told me it was finished. A week later he started calling me and ask me to a movie.that day he said no one is going to separate us ever again and me and our son are his heart.two days later I called him and he said he had a bad day at a party he was tired and needs to be by himself. Few days later he called me and said that he loves me that if I love him I should let him go because there will always be problems in our families.a few days later I heard from a friend that he was seeing his ex and I call him and confronted him.at first he said no and then he said he doesn’t love me he loves her that I never showed him love. Few weeks later I txt him and said that I’ve moved on and accepted his decision.I broke the no contact rule to ask him about his son and he was cold and rough and told me to phone his son. I also heard he stop smoking and started going to church.its been three weeks since he hasn’t contacted our son.do I have a any chance.
admin
February 16, 2014 at 6:34 pm
He hasn’t even contacted your son???
monica
February 19, 2014 at 3:23 pm
Thx Chris for answering. My exboyfriend was really depressed when I told him to leave the house.He always wanted to get married and have another child but I refused and told him we should have our house first.what I don’t get is the betrayal that he could jump into another relationship so soon. I didn’t expect it. If he loved me he wouldn’t have done that. I thought I knew him better. He was a smoker and I heard he has stop and started going to church with his girlfriend. Can someone stop smoking that easily. My friends told me it is a rebound but I can’t get the fact that he is not trying to get contact with us even his own son.
monica
February 19, 2014 at 11:38 am
Well he went by his school a month ago and told him he will pass by the school another day and he hasn’t yet
melanie
February 15, 2014 at 10:05 pm
Ok so I’m trying to do Mc but he constantly wants to hang out and text about things other than our daughter even though he had a gf and also he’s constantly trying to have sex with me and yesterday he said “if I come home” and “if we have another child” what does this all mean and how do I respond to what he’s doing
Kathy
February 13, 2014 at 7:14 pm
Hi Chris.
Your website is great.. so informative. I know that you are extremely busy, just looking for some guidance, I have no idea what to do next 🙁
My fiance and I broke up over 5 months ago. We have a 2 year old son. 1 month after getting engaged we had a huge fight that lasted for a few days (family got involved..things got messy) I felt he should of stood up for me. Anyway, we broke up and a legal separation followed (fighting was intense)
2 months later – usually at drop off time, we become more friendly and start sleeping together regularly (stupid, i know) All this time there is never any mention of feelings or gettng back together
Late December, I started MC.
He was calling and texting demanding to know why I was not responding, telling me I was rude. My response was that I have been busy. I was also arranging for someone else to be at the house for pick up and drop offs.
2 weeks later he calls crying to say that he needed to see me and I agreed to meet him for dinner.
A friend of his saw me leaving a club with a guy and he was shook up. For the first time since we broke up He kept telling me he missed me and loved me and couldnt stop kissing me. Brings up the idea of getting back 2gether as a possiblitly but is scared and also embarrassed what ppl would think. 1 week later, comes over struggling to say that he doesn’t think we can get back togeher. I ask him to leave.
Start MC again.
He continues to call and text. 2 weeks pass he comes over…wants to know if I am dating. Tells me he wants to get back together. States that neither of us have moved on because we still love each other. I turn him down! Chris, it was the hardest thing I ever did. I just didn’t want the back and forth. I want nothing more than to be together and have my family back. Anyway, He tells me that I have given him no choice and that he is going to start dating. I said that was fine with me.
That was 2 weeks ago. There have been some tell tale signs that he is in fact dating. A friend was sure she saw him coming out of a restaurant late the other night. WHAT HAVE I DONE? WHAT SHOULD I DO NOW? SOS
admin
February 14, 2014 at 3:29 am
I hate fights.. don’t you hate fights.
Well, obviously complete the minimal contact. And actually you should go on a date or two also. I think you need to rebuild yourself a bit as well. Like, get some of your confidence back b/c you seem really down about this. Really work on getting that UG persona back.