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828 thoughts on “Get Your Boyfriend Back If You Have A Child Together”

  1. abby

    September 16, 2013 at 6:22 am

    Hey chris its me again! Update, I’ve been doing the mc with my ex and he tried calling me abt 10 times this mornin I ignored him then got a long text askng how our daughter is doing(she is a bit sick) and also askng my forgiveness for everything he has done to hurt me nd his not bitter towards me or angry nd nd nd I nva replied for like an hour then just sed thanx! What does this mean? What should I do?

    1. admin

      September 17, 2013 at 1:03 am

      Well, if you have a child together and it is emergency you can break NC but keep it strictly about your daughter.

  2. abby

    September 3, 2013 at 7:03 pm

    Hey chris its me again! Well after starting the mc rule I hadn’t spoken to or heard frm my ex until I had to find out if he wud pay for our daughters daycare fees, we got into a huge fight and I didn’t speak to him, the nxt day he called numerous tyms nd I left my phne to ring after a while I answered and he apologised nd sed we can go register her at day care on our way home he skipped the tracks that were playing to a song which sang ” I wanna fix things but I don’t know how its not the end its just the beginning” so what does this mean? What should I do?

    1. admin

      September 4, 2013 at 2:40 am

      Well, I guess you can contact him since it is involving your child. What do you feel like the right move for you is though? You know him better than me.

  3. Sara

    September 1, 2013 at 10:37 pm

    Hi! I am 18 and and my boyfriend is 19 I have been in a relationship on and off since I was 14 , even when we would brake up for like a month the most we would still see eachother. We have a baby who is one year old. We had broken up about 7 months ago for 3 months and he immediately got a girlfriend and would tell me all sorts of stuff, I begged him, cried in his face,so much to get him back and he only hated me more four that. Once I stopped the begging and hardly talked to him he starting trying to see me again and we would have se* until we got back together eventually. I left him 2 weeks ago because of a number I found on his phone. 5 days I was with him and he told me he loved me but couldnt be with me cause we fight too much and that he was already seeing someone else. He made it clear that he didnt want to hear of me being with another guy or he would leave town. I then started begging him and crying and that made him so angry and said he would never talk to me again that he would text my mom if anything for our child. I didnt tex him all day yesterday which must have been very surprising to him and today he texed me saying “tomorows my day off ill be there to pick him up ok” and I replied saying “your mom can pick him up just tell her to tex me” and he didnt reply anymore..what do u think?i love him so much and want him back..please help

    1. admin

      September 2, 2013 at 2:43 am

      Have you ever tried anything like the NC rule ever before. Or in this case I guess the MC rule.

    2. Sara

      September 2, 2013 at 6:13 pm

      Yes I tried MC before and he came back. But we now just had an argument yesterday and he had his new girl texing me telling me to leave him alone..

    3. admin

      September 3, 2013 at 3:15 am

      Well, I think you should try MC again. Especially now that the two of you got in an argument. Let the emotions settle down for a bit.

    4. Sara

      October 2, 2013 at 6:42 am

      hi , is it too late to do the mc period if my ex moved in with a girl onlh a month after breaking up.. Is it too late..

    5. admin

      October 3, 2013 at 12:55 am

      No it is not too late. Though, I think your focus needs to be on if this new girl will last.

  4. Candace

    August 29, 2013 at 1:08 pm

    Okay well basically we plan this out us supposed to be getting married and cheated on me and its a constant fight to get him to put us first and to do the right thing. I want to be wirh him and our family to work and he begged literally for 2 years for me to date him again and to hav3 a child now he is just acting like an ass. He had sex with another woman on sunday my friend walked in and caught him at his cousins house doing it. So I broke up with him. He never used to be like this but after our first break up which was over a little dispute we had. Never argued before then I left for two years so he felt like since I didnt wanna come baxk to him he would just mess with alot of woman. So when I came back I tried to cater to him bc I hurt him by leaving for so long. He now is taking me for granted becauee he got too comfortable My son is 7 months and we have been off and on for 2 years. The most we split at a time was 2 weeks. We dated when we were 19 I was pregnant with twins and lost them. Had a dispute about it and left for 2 years. Begging me for 2 years the whole time i finally come back and this would be 2 years of us being together after the 2 year split we are both 23 now. So from this two years we broke uo countless times due to trust issues and when he wiuld finslly do rifht and cut off these women his cousins woulf come around to our house and try to get him to come out to the clubs and drinking all hours of the night. And the women that were cut off would do everything in their desperate power to mess us up ive literally had one girl say she wanted to mess us up bc I look prettier than her and that my babydad says to everyone he is in love with me But now the issue is he claims he doesnt wana be in the relationships honestly I think its bc he is running from responsibilities and just tryna be a kid. Right snd he did. I stsrted axting nuts and I was necer a jealous person at all or worried about another woman till this. But I said some mean things saying I hate him, I necer wanna see him again and me and our son dont need him on monday I cant just tell him I wanna be wirh him bc ive done that so many times. Im not gonna keep chssing him. So he would have to bring it up first. So how do I put that train of thought into his mind ? I need help I love Him with all my heart. Please help me…

  5. Candace

    August 29, 2013 at 1:05 pm

    Okay well basically we plan this out us supposed to be getting married and cheated on me and its a constant fight to get him to put us first and to do the right thing. I want to be wirh him and our family to work and he begged literally for 2 years for me to date him again and to hav3 a child now he is just acting like an ass. He had sex with another woman on sunday my friend walked in and caught him at his cousins house doing it. So I broke up with him. He never used to be like this but after our first break up which was over a little dispute we had. Never argued before then I left for two years so he felt like since I didnt wanna come baxk to him he would just mess with alot of woman. So when I came back I tried to cater to him bc I hurt him by leaving for so long. He now is taking me for granted becauee he got too comfortable My son is 7 months and we have been off and on for 2 years. The most we split at a time was 2 weeks. We dated when we were 19 I was pregnant with twins and lost them. Had a dispute about it and left for 2 years. Begging me for 2 years the whole time i finally come back and this would be 2 years of us being together after the 2 year split we are both 23 now. So from this two years we broke uo countless times due to trust issues and when he wiuld finslly do rifht and cut off these women his cousins woulf come around to our house and try to get him to come out to the clubs and drinking all hours of the night. And the women that were cut off would do everything in their desperate power to mess us up ive literally had one girl say she wanted to mess us up bc I look prettier than her and that my babydad says to everyone he is in love with me But now the issue is he claims he doesnt wana be in the relationships honestly I think its bc he is running from responsibilities and just tryna be a kid. Right snd he did. I stsrted axting nuts and I was necer a jealous person at all or worried about another woman till this. But I said some mean things saying I hate him, I necer wanna see him again and me and our son dont need him on monday I cant just tell him I wanna be wirh him bc ive done that so many times. Im not gonna keep chssing him. So he would have to bring it up first. So how do I put that train of thought into his mind ? I need help I love Him with all my heart. Please help me

    1. admin

      August 29, 2013 at 6:00 pm

      Question- Do you think his cheating was a one time thing?

    2. Candace

      August 31, 2013 at 12:47 pm

      No it wasnt, its happened before and when he did change and cut off everyone and stopped going around his cousins( who by the way are bigtime cheaters and talk to alot of women) and started doing the right thing, they started coming to my house…but I told him I hated him which obviously I didnt mean and I didnt want to talk to him and we were fine without him since his friends come before his son and me on Monday hasnt called since not even to ask about our baby. I tried the mc thing before this happened on this page and it was working like he was asking oh do you have a new man and I made a mistake and had sex with him which caused us to agree together just live seperately due to my mother staying with me for a month…literally a week later he had sex with this other girl. This next day I came over and we got into this fight.

    3. admin

      September 1, 2013 at 4:24 am

      Well, I don’t know technically you weren’t together when he slept with this other girl right? You were separated. So, maybe that is how he sees it/rationalizes it. I don’t necessarily agree with his thinking but that may be how he is sseeing this.

    4. Allie

      September 16, 2013 at 3:46 am

      Which article addresses your ex avoiding or cutting ties I they feel they have wronged you??

    5. admin

      September 17, 2013 at 12:49 am

      Did I write about that LOL. Gosh, so many of them blend together for me now. Maybe the understanding your boyfriend one?

    6. Candace

      September 3, 2013 at 6:12 am

      Well today pretty much takes the cake. I had took our son with me to a labor day bbq he just acted nuts as soon as he heard other guys in the backround but I was only around my best friend and her bf starting to talk junk and threatening fight and calling me outta my name because he assumed I was lying until I put her on the phone. Im just going into a strict mc…do yyou think it would work?

    7. admin

      September 3, 2013 at 6:12 pm

      I think it is the smartest way for you to proceed.

    8. Candace

      September 2, 2013 at 4:42 am

      And he just texted me after a full week of not even asking about our son at 1240 am when can he come see our son yet didnt ask all week not a thing about him like how is he doing but I think honestly he just wants to see what I am doing because the last time he did this all he was focused on was why I look so nice and new all of a sudden because I did MC like you said. I dont even know what to say

    9. admin

      September 3, 2013 at 2:55 am

      Well, if it is not serious and about your son then I wouldn’t reply to him.

    10. Candace

      September 2, 2013 at 4:05 am

      It was the same girls but just the same series of them. He claimed I nagged him but its no excuse still. But the things I asked was to be loyal and be on time if he wasnt to call me and come home every night

    11. admin

      September 3, 2013 at 2:49 am

      Yea, that is a pretty horrible thing to do. To cheat on you.

    12. Candace

      September 2, 2013 at 1:10 am

      No all the times he cheated we were in a relationship. It was behind my back. The last time he did it we just lived separately bc my mother is staying with me for 2 months. She is moving so we were still together

    13. admin

      September 2, 2013 at 2:48 am

      Was the cheating with the same girl over and over or with different girls.

      I am thinking that this guy is a serial cheater and not worth your time.

  6. kiki

    August 24, 2013 at 12:27 am

    my ex did me very dirty when he decided to end things and yet I still love and care for him what should I do and is it possible (we split in march)that he could be feeling like crap too (although to me he seems happy like he rode off into the magical sunset with the women he cheated with) and on average how long does it take a man who was in the wrong to get over something like that.
    and why am I still aching

    1. admin

      August 25, 2013 at 7:02 pm

      It is hard to say, every person is different. I can’t give you a definitive answer, sorry :/

  7. kiki

    August 24, 2013 at 12:17 am

    I haven’t been up here in a while but I want to try this all over again I hope I’m not to late however my ex has now gotten into this thing where he’ll have his mom pick up our daughter from daycare like he’s going out of his way to not see me face to face. why is that and why do I care so much. I seen the article that you had about when your ex has wronged you and one of the things being that your ex probably is cutting all ties with you because he wronged you I disagree is it possible that he was the one who was in the wrong because I’m sure if we didn’t have a kid together he would never talk to me ever again and he was the one that messed up big time.
    If I do the MC Rule what are some of the things that I should look for to know that it’s working.
    I know this is really obvious but he really doesn’t want to be on the phone with me when I call to dicuss things about our daughter

    1. admin

      August 25, 2013 at 7:02 pm

      Any interest signs!

      He will text you a lot more, call you a lot more and want to see you more. Sometimes even without these sings it could be working though.

    2. kiki

      August 26, 2013 at 9:45 pm

      When is it too late to start the MC rule because have been split up since march

    3. admin

      August 27, 2013 at 3:41 am

      I don’t think it is too late.

    4. kiki

      September 10, 2013 at 5:55 pm

      Why be an a-hole

    5. admin

      September 11, 2013 at 2:17 am

      Some guess are just born with A-Holes instead of faces.

      What are you going to do hahaha

    6. kiki

      September 7, 2013 at 9:50 am

      I want to know im sure i’ve asked this before but (btw he’s not a jerk he’s an *ss hole) but why be like that.

    7. admin

      September 7, 2013 at 11:53 pm

      Why be like what?

    8. kiki

      September 6, 2013 at 11:31 pm

      MC or not what he doesn’t care i dropped my daughter off to him tonight and although u said MC I tried to start conversation in reguards to our daughter and even he just didn’t seem engaged
      Plus im a bit embarassed to say this but i kind of follwed at the bus station to make sure he didnt have the other women there because she not to be around my child so was i in the wrong
      Any advice or opinons on all that i just posted.

    9. admin

      September 7, 2013 at 2:12 am

      He seems like a total jerk to me.

      I still think MC is the way to go though.

    10. kiki

      September 6, 2013 at 10:04 am

      Well i kind of did show that i was angry but i didnt raise my voice

    11. admin

      September 7, 2013 at 1:45 am

      Good on not raising your voice but next time just try to remain as calm as possible no matter how dumb he is being.

    12. kiki

      September 2, 2013 at 5:55 pm

      I know it’s MC but what if your ex does something to make you angry like not showing up on time to pick up your child causing you to be late for work

    13. admin

      September 3, 2013 at 3:12 am

      You beat him up..

      No jk jk.

      This is an excellent question. I would say still do MC. But in that case you can break it but don’t get really angry or show you are angry when you send a text message.

    14. kiki

      August 27, 2013 at 3:55 pm

      Sweet i started this pass sat

  8. Becky

    August 19, 2013 at 12:52 am

    Hello!!i was with my boyfriend for 2 years,then I got pregnant,he finished with me while I was pregnant because he wasn’t ready to settle down and didn’t want a child,so that was that,so my “our “son is now 7 years old.and we have been having sex for 7 years,I’m still in love with him,sadly he is not a good father,my son never stays with him as our son is autistic.so he needs his routine,I slept with my ex the other day then 3 days later tells me he has a girlfriend now:-(I’m heartbroken so is my son,he tells me he wants to move on and settle down now with someone! 🙁

    1. admin

      August 19, 2013 at 4:05 am

      What do you think about applying the steps on this page?

  9. Michelle

    August 18, 2013 at 7:23 pm

    I have twins with my ex. We got pregnant after only 2 months of knowing each other-causally dating. For the first five years of our sons lives, we were sleeping together on and off. I had met someone & decided not to deal with my ex. That relationship ended & suddenly my ex & I began dating. We were boyfriend girlfriend for a year and a half. I broke things off in May 2011. We still slept together until Sept. He got a girlfriend in Nov. Of 2011. In Oct 2012, he cheated on her with me-I did not know he was still with her. When I found out they were still together I told her about his cheating. He denied it & they are still together. My sons hate her. She doesn’t get on their level at all. So now we are heading into almost their 2nd year together. Throughout their whole relationship I have been fighting w him about her. I have just now let go-as of July 19th. He says he’s in love with her but he continues to lie to me about her (to this day he has never even said her name to me & she introduced herself to me not him). I am in love with him beyond measure. Is there a chance or has this gone to far?

    1. admin

      August 19, 2013 at 3:46 am

      Twins that is so cool. Identical?

      You situation is kind of a bummer no doubt about it. What do you think about doing MC like I suggest on this page?

    2. Michelle

      August 19, 2013 at 4:45 am

      They are fraternal boys. 9 now.
      I have decided to do MC as of today. I read this today: Bottom line is If they’re still angry at you, they’re not over you. As simple as that. Love and hate are but separated by a very thin line. He is very angry with me. I’m going to try MC but I think we actually can do NC. Our sons are old enough that we just drop them off & they get out & go inside. I am going to try NC as much as possible.
      Do you believe with our 10 year history vs their 1.75, that I have a chance? Like with what I’ve said, there is anything to go after?

    3. admin

      August 20, 2013 at 3:32 am

      I agree with you completely about the fine line between love and hate. I think the longer the relationship/more history you have together the bigger the chance of reuniting.

    4. Michelle

      August 26, 2013 at 4:18 am

      So I just started seeing someone. He asked me to go to his cabin with my twins. I accepted but I had to ask the ex if I could take the twins a day earlier than our scheduled time. I said: can I get the boys early? We are going to my friends cabin. He said yes. Now that he knows a man is involved in my life, do you think he will get jealous? Or are we too far broke up (almost 2 years, he says he’s in love-remember he cheated on her already with e-, & she has been with him practically everyday) for him to even care? I don’t know if it will bother him at all to see that I’ve moved on (no I have not in my heart but I’m going through the motions). I don’t even know if exs care once their ex moves on if they are already in a relationship. Any advice?

    5. admin

      August 27, 2013 at 3:30 am

      I think exes care a lot of their exes are in new relationships. Why do you think people stalk their exes on Facebook.

    6. Michelle

      August 18, 2013 at 7:25 pm

      You should know I have not let too much time go by with no contact. You should also know that the whole year of 2012, we were going to church together, he was hugging me & going out to eat with the kids. All up until I told her of the cheating. This whole year, 2013, we have had very limited contact & when we do its rarely positive. He did allow me to buy him a cake for his birthday in April & he did fix something for me in my house then too.

  10. abby

    August 17, 2013 at 9:26 am

    Hi Chris, my fiance broke up with me after a huge fight that we had about a month ago. So I packed up myself and my daughter and went to cape-town for 2 weeks within that time he contacted numerous times at first I ignored him but then I replyed after him wishing me on my birthday but I sent him such a terrible msg telling him to leave me alone, when I got back things really spun out of control, we went to court to file for visitation rights and now I’m afraid that all is lost. I love him very much I don’t know what to do. I have started the mc rule

    1. admin

      August 18, 2013 at 3:44 am

      You are doing the best you can and I understand that. Keep up MC and keep the focus on you. Time is going to be needed in this case.

  11. Jess

    August 8, 2013 at 1:24 pm

    So, I haven’t read my exact situation on here, and to be frank, I doubt I will. My ex and I were dating for 2 1/2 years, had a son together, got engaged and then three months after our engagement, his close friend died in a tragic accident. He pushed me away, we got into a big fight and he broke up with me, and started seeing someone else 1-2 weeks later. The kicker is that I’m pregnant with his second baby, a fact he knew and was happy about before we split up.

    He’s basically living with his new g/f, spending all of his time with her, and tells me how great she is. At the same time though he will message me telling me about what he’s up to, or updating me about his friends or his family, and one day he even messaged me telling me how great our intimate life was. I’ll catch him checking me out and he will brush up against my arm or my hands when we’re exchanging my son. I would like to think that there is some chance of us working it out, but it seems kind of hopeless when he’s telling me about his wonderful new gf. Perspective please?

    1. admin

      August 9, 2013 at 4:24 am

      I don’t want to get your hopes up or anything like that. And I do want to say I am not a fortune teller and I can’t see the future. But if you want my perspective it does seem a little fishy that he can move on that fast. It seems like he is using the girl to:

      A. Feel better about the situation.
      B. Ego Boost.
      C. To p*ss you off.
      D. Rebound.

  12. Jane

    August 8, 2013 at 1:10 am

    Hi! I was doing the NC instead of MC for 3wks now, we have a daughter.. last saturday he msg. me on facebook and said ‘how are u?’ but i didnt reply because as u’v said i should not engage with him if its not for our daughter.. Then this morning he called me 9 times but i didn’t answer it. Do u think that is just ok? Because i was thinking that maybe i should answer it because maybe he wants to check his daughter.

    1. admin

      August 8, 2013 at 2:32 am

      Yea, he probably wants to check on his daughter. You should call him back probably.

    2. Jane

      August 8, 2013 at 3:57 am

      I already called him.. Its like he’s uneasy while talking to me.. He said he just want to check on us, hows our daughter, where am i when he called,i said that i’m at home busy doing something and my phone is in silent mode.. He asked how am i? I just politely said ‘im ok, hmm i need to go now i have many things to do’.. Then he just said ok, bye then take care.. But i noticed that sweetness in his voice.. Our conversation lasted only for about a minute.. coz i’m trying to control our conversation.. U think i did a good job?

    3. admin

      August 9, 2013 at 4:02 am

      I think you did a great job!

    4. Jane

      August 8, 2013 at 11:50 am

      Btw, my ex bf really dnt like txting, he prefer calling, so incase i finishd d NC period then i’ll cntact him via txt, maybe i wont get any response.. I dnt knw.. Or wat if he called? Any advice on how I will talk to him?

    5. admin

      August 9, 2013 at 4:17 am

      I would say try texting first and if push comes to shove you can try the calling bridge.

      I would say if you did call him you want to limit your first conversation with him. Kind of follow the same texting logic but in a phone call.

  13. elena

    August 4, 2013 at 6:12 pm

    i had a relationship for 2 years and have a beautiful lil baby with 4 months old…me and my ex we were fighting all the time and he started to contact other woman as i saw that i was getting much more upset with him and at the end we both got into a fight that was the ¨game over¨ for us.. i tried a 2 weeks not talking to him to much only bout my baby, and he actually started to make me want him again he was sending me sms bout how i was doin everytime….he gave me the atention i needed..i thought it was perfect till he told me he wanted to be with me again..when i told him yes we had like the most beautiful weekend spent together….than he changed he become busy again and i saw that he was still talkin to that girl, when i asked him why he was doing that he got angry telling me that we werent meant to be together…after a while i was keeping myself from talking to him cause i felt really betrade all i saw in fb was him posting lyrics with videoclips talkin by sex and the girl responding to him…when i asked him if he is with her he told me he never gonna be with her cause his friend was her boyfriend but sure they will gonna keep talkin and he wouldnt mind a onenightstand with her… i dont know if he doin it to make me upset but i dont get him no more…yestarday my baby got a fever we went to the hospital and after that he asked me if he can stay acompany us through the night i said no..i dont know how to get out this situation and be happy again as a united familly and how to stop them talking to eachother..

    1. admin

      August 5, 2013 at 3:33 am

      Have you tried any of the stuff on this page?

    2. elena

      August 5, 2013 at 2:58 pm

      yes im now takin ur advise of minimum contact for 45 days i think 2 weeks was not enough 🙂 i made a change in me got much more confident… in control of the conversations, talkin only bout the baby, i hope it will work out..i dont show any sign of me wanting him back ……i hope that it
      will work…:)

    3. admin

      August 6, 2013 at 3:19 am

      Good luck!

    4. elena

      August 4, 2013 at 8:17 pm

      i read bout making fotos of social life is so hard for me to do that cause most of the time im with my baby and the father of my child he sure has fotos of him dancing in clubs with female friends so its kind of viceversa the feeling he needs to feel am feeling it….

    5. admin

      August 5, 2013 at 3:37 am

      Hahaha I have an idea. Stick the baby with him and you go out to the clubs.

    6. elena

      August 5, 2013 at 2:31 pm

      i thought of that :)maybe ill try it but i dont know….

  14. iris

    July 30, 2013 at 8:46 pm

    Me and my child dad been in a really rough relationship I’ve been pregnant 3 time lost two babys. When I lost my second baby he left with his ex and even tough I was hurt I begged him to come back to my daughter and me and not to break our family but he didn’t wanted so I let him alone he then tried to talk to me and became overpowering over me and jealous but he didn’t wanted to let go to any of us. He then moved to Texas to work and came once a month to visit us he then started talking to her and he had to move to Iowa so she lives in Illinois. I went so obsessed with her and stalk her Facebook until I found out he wanted her back I got mad at him and we started fighting until he got back with her and they became a couple. He kept calling me and being jealous but I was so hurt I didn’t answe him. He then got her pregnant and went to work in Texas again he then came back to my city begging me to take him back and I did. He try ed really hard to make it work but she was always in the picture he gave me a car and got us an apartment but she would always put stuff on Facebook and that made me really mad at him and started a fight until he’s tired and I guess he’s going back to her but he keeps helping me and telling me he loves me but I don’t know what to do cuz she’s having the baby and she’s always bragging they love each other and he’d going back to her to start a family what should I do I just want this to be over and the fact that I’m pregnant again makes it more difficult

    1. admin

      July 31, 2013 at 2:25 am

      I am not sure what you want. Do you want him back or do you just want to move on from him properly?

    2. iris

      August 1, 2013 at 1:30 am

      I want to give him one last opportunity for our daughter and the baby.

  15. Grace

    July 30, 2013 at 8:59 am

    Hi

    I hope you can help me, i have been dating this guy for seven years, we have a 1year old daughter and decided to move in together as we were madly in love with each other,he then started changing and going out to clubs and coming home the next day, we would have arguments about this and he would promise to stop but he never did. i then came to a point where i decided to pack up and leave, i went to stay at my sister’s house, the day after i moved out i went to his house and i found him with another girl, i asked him if they were dating and he said they are just friends, but the girl had come to sleep over. i then spoke to the girl and she told me they are dating and even had sex a few times,i was hurt and crushed, but still after this cz i love him so much, i asked him if we can work things out, he then said he needed space, i begged him not to end the relationship, he then said i must move nback to the house, which i did, but ever since i moved back he hasnt showed any effort of trying to work things out or showing his love for me like he did befor. he is still in contact with the girl he cheated with and he told me he has stopped, they constantly send each other text messages and even talk on chat rooms but he never has time to send me a message or let alone call me to ask how im doing. i aks my self if i had done the right thing by being back at the house and being with him or i should have just moved on. but i love him so much and i want to win all of his heart back. Please advice, what should i do.

    1. admin

      July 30, 2013 at 6:15 pm

      Have you tried going MC?

    2. Grace

      July 31, 2013 at 8:13 am

      The problem is that we are still staying together. How do i go MC if we still leaving in the same hosue?

    3. admin

      August 1, 2013 at 5:06 am

      So basically you don’t initiate any text convos, you keep all interactions short and pleasant (short though.) You control the conversation always.

    4. Grace

      July 30, 2013 at 12:43 pm

      We use to be so inlove, but he has completely changed. he doesnt even touch or hug me any more. he is always on chatrooms with this new girl. After 7years of been together he has become a complete stranger. All this happened after i had our child, he was all supportive during my pregnacy telling me we gonna be fine as a family and that he will never leave he loves me, but now he is a totally different cheating person

  16. Stacy

    July 30, 2013 at 6:58 am

    My ex and I were together for 3 years and we have a 2 year old son and we split up about a month ago. I have naturally had a very hard time with it and I have just started checking the internet for help so I wasn’t aware of the NC or MC rule so I haven’t been very good at it. He jumped into a rebound relationship as soon as we split up but he tells me that he still loves me and that he thinks we still have a chance to get back together. I have been using our time apart to work on myself and graduating from college in a couple days. My question is how do I know if he is just telling me that because he knows it is what I want to hear? I have also had a hard time with him dating someone so quickly but I have been adult about it and I haven’t tried to talk him out of it or complained about it, but, I expressed to him when we broke up that I don’t want my son around another woman and he has agreed to that. I also have a hard time talking to any of my friends or family because they have all turned against him and think he is the bad guy so I am just looking for advice from someone who understands that I do want my family back together.

    1. admin

      July 30, 2013 at 6:12 pm

      Hi Stacy,

      My advice is to go MC. I think that is a great starting point for you.

  17. Kelly Cahill

    July 26, 2013 at 5:15 am

    My ex and I were together five years. We broke up and a month later I received roses. We took a trip to the Florida keys and I got pregnant. We tried to work it out until a year after the baby was born. I had postpartum and I was very nasty. We fought all the time. We broke up and been broken up for almost two years. At first we did everything together when it came to the baby. Holiday’s, vacations, even sleeping at house. We still were having s&*. But about six months ago that stopped. Now a couple of days ago he started with the ” Im going to come over and bend you over” I told him no the first time and again tonight he asked again. I love him, he is the father of my daughter. He makes me want to be a better person. We had a great relationship and I am to blame. I will do anything to make it work but he only wants one thing. Please please help me! I just want my family back together

    1. admin

      July 28, 2013 at 2:33 am

      Hi Kelly,

      I am glad you commented. You might want to proceed by trying the minimal contact rule outlined on this page!

    2. Kelly Cahill

      August 3, 2013 at 7:26 am

      I have done the NC rule for more than 30 days and it worked to a point. He contacted me and asked if our daughter and I wanted to go to dinner. We went and had a great time. But nothing after that. Except a week later he wanted se$! And it always comes to that and just that. What do I do??

    3. admin

      August 4, 2013 at 2:36 am

      Thats a tricky one. Your ex only wants se$. I would say not give it to him b/c its like enabling a drug addict. After a while, that is all he will see you as. Hmm…. have you gone on a date with anyone else? Maybe the jealousy card might work.

  18. Allie

    July 23, 2013 at 9:10 pm

    & I clicked on the Link to hear you sing and to get a laugh & I guess through the rest of the article, but it sent me back to your homepage. Is that right?

    1. admin

      July 24, 2013 at 4:22 am

      Thanks for letting me know this!

      I am going to fix it right away. Here is the link: https://v.v-p.me/4NUryJa.

      I just listened to myself sing and it is horrible. I can’t believe I made this live…

  19. Allie

    July 23, 2013 at 9:08 pm

    That first paragraph made me tear up. God bless you for understanding WHY I haven’t written him off for good (& that despite all the crap, I do still love him). I don’t even talk to friends or family about him anymore bc they think he’s such a dirtbag. There is some truth to that, but only a couple of people know the whole story. I’d have to look my son in the eye one day & know I’ve done EVERYTHING I can do to repair our relationship & try to bring our little family together. The baby is 5 mo old now, baby daddy lives hundreds of miles away, so the baby isn’t attached yet. I have plenty of wonderful male friends & relatives that will be great to him, but I don’t think it’s the same if it isn’t his biological dad. He’s being a MAJOR jerk right now (this is Allie from the rebound thread…horse faced stalker girl & I WAS his UG)! How you described the waitress is how he described me when he first met me!

    1. admin

      July 24, 2013 at 4:20 am

      I am still thinking about that waitress today. I literally wished I was dating her! That is the power an UG can have over a man!

    2. Allie

      July 25, 2013 at 10:26 pm

      Well…are you going to ask for her number this weekend, then? She could be a case study on the UG!

    3. admin

      July 26, 2013 at 2:56 am

      Hahaha my buddy and I are going back on Saturday (He may cancel on me though) and hopefully she will be there again. I would honestly be shocked if she was single though.

    4. Allie

      July 26, 2013 at 5:25 am

      Ya never know! :). So…if I was the UG to him before (based on his description & first impression of me…AND that I didn’t recognize that I was UG & all I did was genuine & not a game, etc), can an ex REALLY view you that way ever again? The “new” and the mystery aren’t really there anymore. How do you become that girl to him again (I’m almost at week 5 of NC)?

      And what if they’re seeing someone else (red headed, horse faced swimfan stalker chick)?

      If only I were Charlize Theron…. Haha!

    5. admin

      July 27, 2013 at 5:50 am

      Now THAT is a great question!

      If I am being completely honest with you then I don’t think the “new” and “mystery” you can get back. However, notice how I talk a lot about the behavior of the Ungettable Girl. You see, when you were new and mysterious to him you acted a certain way (even though it was genuine.) However, that completely changed when you dated him. So, what you need to recapture is that genuine behavior that attracted him so much once upon a time.

  20. kiki

    July 23, 2013 at 11:59 am

    Thank you for the artical however what if he’s the type that gives the negative respones as said above but he isn’t mad at you he’s the one that ended it

    1. admin

      July 24, 2013 at 4:03 am

      Hmm….

      Well, does he always give negative responses? I think you should still aim to get the positive ones.

    2. kiki

      July 25, 2013 at 12:10 pm

      Yeah for the most part but ill try it

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