How To Get Your Boyfriend Back If You Have Children Together- The Complete Steps

828 thoughts on “Get Your Boyfriend Back If You Have A Child Together”

Brittany

February 2, 2019 at 6:19 am

Hi,
My daughters and I split up back in May and honestly I want to try and make it work because it was real but I dont if it’s going to happen and need some opinions. We were together 5 years, planned our daughter, planned our future, had a home together,got together a few times in high school and were neighbors when we were kids. I was his first serious girlfriend ever in his life. Firstly the reason for our break up is because I was an alcoholic , I drank every day all day long as I am in recovery and almost sober a year. Because of my alcoholism I had an incindent with my daughter and it was dangerous. I am not happy in any way or form about it very disappointed in myself and have to live with knowing what I did and what could of happened ever day from that day for the rest of my life. With that being said he has never gave me the chance to actually apologize he broke up with me through a no contact/restraining order. Then to find out he started dating a new girl 2 to 3 weeks after that. The only time we have contact is at exchanges because that part was lifted from the restraining order along that him and I could message about our daughter. Other than that we dont talk at all. With the new girlfriend she is moved in already and it’s only been 8 months. It makes me feel like there is no chance. When I do message him I get rude messages as it doesnt pertain to my daughter he turns it to be about it girlfriend only making me assume she is the one messaging. I just dont get how this girl is moved in already and he got in a new relationship so fast as it took us forever to be a couple and as I stated before I was his 1st serious relationship. This girl makes sure she is at exchanges/ present as so I can not get a word out to my daughters father. I was the one who initiated meeting her because she was around my daughter all the time and that first time meeting she just glared at me said nothing. The second meeting she told me she was going to spend the rest of her life with him and now she is completely moved in. As for my daughters father and I we are in a custody battle as if the girlfriend wasnt in the picture things wouldnt be so bad. Kinda seems like shes controling the situation. My daughter is my priority and emphasize that all the time. I want him and I to work out because I believe our love was / is true and i really do love him and know i messed up but is it too late or did I really mess it up that bad? Is he serious about this girl?My daughter always say I want mommy daddy and, i want mommy and daddy together. Its heart breaking. I would just like some advice on what to do or opinions please.
Ann

January 2, 2019 at 3:14 pm

Hi, my husband left me 5 months ago, we had been together 20 years, married 15. We have 3 children together. At first he said he still loved me, then 2 months ago he said he didn’t love me anymore and there’s no chance at all we will get back together. I’ve just started minimal contact, my issue is he’s not moved on with anyone else, he’s living in a small caravan and acting depressed, his pers9nality has changed and he says he’s empty and if he came back he would still feel empty so there’s no point. He says eventually he wants a divorce. I still love him very much, do you think minimal contact could help in this situation or do u think I should give up.
Darylnesia

August 11, 2018 at 11:52 pm

My childs father walk out on us for another woman. So bad things has transpired between us. But I still him as want to be with him. What’s should I do?
Yara

May 6, 2018 at 4:33 pm

I have a 2 yr old with my ex. We were together for more than 3 years. I helped him through school because he always said a better future for us and be able to buy a home ect. When he finished school he started working as a trucker and we stop doing couple things 8 month in he told me his feeling weren’t growing. I was like well we haven’t done anything as a couple in awhile. But then a work opurtunity araised on another state temporarily and I agreed. He been gone more than 2 months he at first was all loving and jokes and called me while showering lol in video but then he stop. He stop calling me. He would read my messages and not respond. If he did call in video he be like oh put the baby on and we would talk less than 30 min a day. So my mother in law was like start ignoring him he will contact you I did for a week and he would call. But then on the 7 day he told me we are over he has no feelings for me. He doesn’t care about me or loves me. Then started adding a bunch of girls on fb. Ig. Calling his ex on another country and when he calls my son I feel shitty because when I was pregnant I found out for 6 months he was calling his ex. I always felt insecure that he never truly tried in our relationship. I want to make it work because I already have a failed relationship with my first child. And this is me second I do not want to keep pooping kids. Last week we talked about opening a business and having one more baby and then poof he dumped me 4 days ago. He refuse to call his mom she keep trying to see why. He hasn’t deleted our photo or he in a relationship. He hasn’t change my nickname on his phone. Or deleted our photos and he supposed to come back on the 16rh of this month. When it happen I over reacted but by day two I was in acceptance mood but then when he stated calling his ex I went back to crazy mood I’m trying to ignore him. Not message him. Trying to see what we can do we always went on date. Did loving things even before we were a couple he was seeing other girls he would tell his mom about me. When ever we fight he always threatened to dumb me. One time he even blocked me on fb this time he didn’t. I’m confused and I’m hurt because I was suppose to start school since I supported him. He want us to live together and him do whatever and me do whatever. How do I make him want to work things out. 3 and half yr is a long time especially since I supported him like I supposed to. Help!!!! What should I do

Chris Seiter

May 6, 2018 at 8:51 pm

Yes, Yara, 3+ years being together helps create some roots, but it’s clear there are trust issues. You might want to consider just taking time for yourself…creating some space between him and you so you can get your head clear and draw closer to your feelings about what you really want and whether this person is someone you can rely and count on in the future. When we go through breakups, our emotions get tossed around because of the chemistry/hormones of our mind and body are altered. Stress hormones are created and we feel addicted to people that sometimes are not the right partners for ourselves. So focus on your own self recovery so you can gain perspective before you make any important decision. Also, check out my ebook, “The No Contact Rule Book” which can help you understand how the whole process can work for you and some of the things you can do to experience some personal recovery.
Yara

May 6, 2018 at 9:10 pm

I ignore him and he like threats me that I have until certain to call him back and he like yeah I’m talking to bunch of girls. That I feel he does it to hurt me. So I ask him to give me space and be like no. Like he blocked me from fb as a punishment then when I answered his call he unblocked me. Is like he like to control me

Kelly

April 27, 2018 at 3:19 pm

My ex-boyfriend left because I basically pushed him away. I struggled with depression throughout pregnancy and after it just got amplified. As he was the closest thing to me, he got the worst of it. Until now, I didn’t realise what it was. Now I’m getting help. And now I realise how it all fell apart. Last week he told me that before I got pregnant, he was planning how to propose to me. That’s an example of how happy we were before. He is scared to come back because he doesn’t want it to be the same. How can I show him it won’t be the same if he doesn’t give me the opportunity? He won’t even spend time with me just like friends would. I know that with the help I’m getting, we could be as happy as before. And bring our family back together.

Chris Seiter

April 28, 2018 at 5:05 am

HI Kelly. I am so glad you are doing better. I am proud of you for getting help. Pat yourself on the back. You are your own best friend and will always be! as far as how deal with the breakup and improve your chances of recovery, I think there is upside here. Consider picking up a copy of my ebook, Ex Boyfriend Recovery Pro as it will show you all the ropes and some things you can consider doing. Everyone’s situation is different. I suspect that if you implement NC, it would be a shorter form. You guys may just need a little space and it could be a function of leaving him some little breadcrumbs to find his way back to you. If you push too hard for it, he might just resist more. Just go to my website Menu/Products link and look around at the resources and services I have there that can benefit you. Let me know how it goes Kelly!

Jasmine

April 10, 2018 at 1:36 am

Me and my child’s father broke up about two weeks ago but we still live together , he tells me he still loves me and cares about me but wants me to move on and I deserve better . He had already started talking to other women and told me I should talk to other men but then he wants to cuddle with me at night and still have sexual intercourse . He said maybe one day we will be back together but right now no because he said he’s tired of arguing and the accusing . Will he ever come back ? Is he just still upset about what led up to the break up ?

Chris Seiter

April 11, 2018 at 12:10 am

Probably a lot going on in his head. Give it some time, then explore whether he wants to discuss the problem and solutions going forward.

Shanice

April 4, 2018 at 9:49 pm

My bf who i also have a 6 month old baby with left me for the 2nd time in 2 months 2 days ago. He says he doesnt care about me anymore. He only cares about his child and he wants me to understand we cannot be together anymore. We have been together for 5 years. He always blame my attitude for our arguments. Do u think MC will work?

Chris Seiter

April 5, 2018 at 11:42 pm

So, Limited no contact definitely can work. Are you currently living with him?

Joyce

December 15, 2017 at 5:22 am

Hi EBR Team!

I’m an avid reader, podcast listener, and I joined your webinars, did sign up too. But I have a situation here that I think I need to share…to be given some advice on how to deal with this situation?

I’m on NC with my ex-live in partner of almost for years. Today is just the 9th day of NC–since I had to start over because, you know, NC is hard. Longest was 2wks NC.

During this period, he sent me msgs saying he misses our 2month old baby and that he loves our baby so much and he was also asking how me and our baby is doing. I did not reply to this as NC suggests. He also called twice on first day of NC but I did not answer. Today, he called 17times which I did not answer. After those calls, he sent me a msg telling me he bought a dress and shoes for our baby and that he is ACTUALLY outside my house.

This is the reason why it’s hard to do MC. Because our baby is just 2months old. Does MC apply here if my ex is not even giving support since I was pregnant? I earn more than him btw. This is the first time he is showing up after I delivered baby in the hospital. This is also the first time he’s giving something for our baby. Even though he txts that he misses our baby, he does not really show up. His words don’t match up with his actions. It’s the first time he’s showing up at my door.

Played it cool. I did not reply. I completely ignored him as if baby and I weren’t inside the house. Aside from the NC… I was actually afraid of seeing him. I kinda panicked. I was afraid I might do or say anything that could push him further instead of being influenced of coming back to me and our baby.

He broke up with me when I was 8months preggo. After he broke up with me, I kinda begged but I told him I will let you go if that makes you happy. Then eventually he left. I asked the exact reasons and told me, he actually didn’t love me anymore since last year and that we are never getting back together coz he’s dating already. I was shocked because he was doing all sweet stuff just before we broke up. He broke up with me on a dinner date btw. The next day I was rushed to hospital to deliver our baby.

Is he trying to come back now? I still love him but it’s hard to trust him after what he told me. I want him back but I feel insecure. I am still working on myself and being the best that I can to be a good mumma. How do I deal with him now?

EBR Team Member: Amor

December 15, 2017 at 6:02 pm

Hi Joyce,

it would be better if you don’t assume that and to let him work in getting you back if that’s what he wants.. He has to say it and prove it first.

ConfusedLove

December 3, 2017 at 6:19 pm

Hi,

My ex (30) and I(29) have been broken up since Nov 9. He broke up with me and was very angry with me immediately afterwards. We’d been together since 2011 and we broke up at the end of 2011 and we’re apart for 1 year and a few months, getting back together in April 2013. We hadn’t broken up seriously since then. We have one son together and one child each from previous relationships. I’ve met all his family and he’s met all of mine. We had marriage on the table and he is the only father my oldest child has ever known.
I have been keeping the MC rule going since Nov 12. So it’s been almost 30 days and we only communicate about the kids. We don’t fight or argue through text message and we do not speak on the phone at all. We haven’t seen each other face to face since our shared son’s birthday which was 12 days ago. He’s picked up the kids from my parents house without me having to see him face to face.
I’m writing because yesterday he told me he is picking up the kids today and that I can come too if I want. Should I feed into that or is this a trap? I would be going to his parents’ house not his house and I didn’t say yes or no to that request I simply told him I will bring the kids over myself so he doesn’t assume I would be riding in his car or coming with them. I don’t know if I should go over there or if he is telling me this as his way of wanting to talk to me? Please help as I am very nervous about what I should do. Also, he said he would be at his parents at a certain time and when I texted to let him know I’m on my way with the kids soon he said he wouldn’t be there until early evening. I was thrown off by the time change and I just told him to let me know when he’s there and I will be on the way with them. Once again…help?!

EBR Team Member: Amor

December 5, 2017 at 1:52 am

Did you go with the kids? How active are you in improving yourself?

Marie

December 3, 2017 at 1:03 pm

Not sure what to do in my situation. My ex’s daughter and I grew really close. I love her as my own. We all lived together for awhile. After he moved out, she stayed with me. Which no contact rule should I use?

EBR Team Member: Amor

December 5, 2017 at 1:47 am

Hi Marie,

she’s still currently living with you? You can try the advice above..

Tamia

November 28, 2017 at 12:06 am

Hello
Please tell me if someone like me has a chance. My ex and I broke up 2 months ago. We have a 7 month old and also my 7yr old. We started fighting when I was pregnant. He doesn’t like that my older daughter’s father and I are friends. So we argued about it, then I found out he was bad mouthing me on his job and for me everything went downhill from there. He had left several times for a few days to cool off, but he would always say how much he loved me & we would get back together. The last argument I said really mean things and he moved out completely. I went & begged him to come back, he told me no & was very mean about it. That was hard for me because he’s never like that with me….. he comes to see his daughter but we argue because I won’t let him take her by himself. I constantly tell him to come home and he always says that’s not his home. I get mad then text him and call him like crazy which goes no where. He recently started spending time with his ex and I feel like I lost him for good. I don’t know what to do anymore

EBR Team Member: Amor

November 29, 2017 at 1:36 pm

Hi Tamia,

You can still try the advice above.. Do you live together_

Brittany

November 17, 2017 at 11:44 pm

How would this apply if you and your ex live together and also share a vehicle? We have 3 children together . 1 year old twins and a 4 year old.

EBR Team Member: Amor

November 18, 2017 at 3:05 am

Hi Brittany,

check this one:
EBR 027: What To Do If You Live With Your Ex Boyfriend

Julia

November 13, 2017 at 2:36 am

I’m willing to try those for sure. I’m just wondering if it will work if I’m out of state. Will it even matter at that point? And will it matter if he’s still sleeping with other women? I haven’t spoken to him in 5 days. But he hasn’t reached out to me in that time in any case.

EBR Team Member: Amor

November 17, 2017 at 7:25 pm

It’s not a guarantee that it would work..It just helps increase your chances and it’s better than to chase.

Julia

November 9, 2017 at 12:09 pm

I dated someone all summer and when I found out I was pregnant, he was very ok with it at first. About a month after that I found out he’d been sleeping with multiple women and when I asked about it, he lied to me. He lied three times until I showed him the condoms in his trash. He broke down admitting what he’d done and that he’d lied and said he wouldn’t stop. He then cut me off for an entire month leaving me a complete emotional wreck and panicked. I am now moving back to my home state to be near family, but he is now reaching out. He says he will not date me but want’s to be “amicable” for our future child. I want more than amicable, I want to be in a relationship with him. I love this man even through all the pain he’s put me through recently. He’s going on a ski trip up to the mountains with someone. I’m not sure. But there was a very important event that I hoped he would go to with me. Instead he’s cancelled and is going with this other person. I leave for my home state in 3 weeks and feel hurt that he’s not spending time with me and trying to repair things with the little time I have left. I don’t know what advice you have. Especially since he isn’t angry with me, he just feels shame and won’t open up to me. I haven’t done anything wrong other than become pregnant and maybe still loving him is “wrong”. I don’t know.

EBR Team Member: Amor

November 12, 2017 at 11:14 pm

Hi Julia,

do you want to try the advice above? Check this one too:
Here’s How To Get Your “Baby Daddy” Back

Lisa

November 8, 2017 at 6:58 am

I’m wondering how you think I will go following this method. Sorry that this will be a long one.
My partner of 9 years (high school sweethearts, known each other for 20 years) left 3 months ago. He moved in to his friend’s parents house.
He said he left for himself and because we were in a rut so deep that he couldn’t see any way out of it but to leave, but he began been “dating” a woman from work instantly. (He says they are not dating, just that they enjoy each others company. He vehemently denies that it is a sexual relationship)
He has been spending a lot of time with our children and I and spends time with me alone too. At the moment he visits us at our home, the children don’t have time with him on his own. (A mutual decision as our children are 20 months and 4 years old) He comes for dinner and to read them bedtime stories and then watches tv with me and chats after they’re asleep. We take them out together, the only contact is altogether as a family.
He says he still loves me, I’m so important to him, I’m a great mother, he just cannot see himself being in love with me again, but he’s not ruling it out forever. He kisses me and holds hands and is still very affectionate.
Meanwhile he spends all day with this woman at work, sees her after work a few nights a week and apparently sleeps over on her couch about once a week. In the beginning his friend told him this woman is not welcome in our house and I recently discovered she actually does visit quite often. She wants nothing to do with our children and does not want to be in a committed, exclusive relationship.
He says he is not in love, does not love her, is not infatuated with her, purely has an attraction and feels peace when he is around her. He says he doesn’t see himself being in a relationship with her but he just wants to see where things will go.
The break up destroyed me but I have been doing my best not to show it too often. I’ve lost 20kg, been on a few dates, I am returning to study early next year. But he is very aware that I want him to come back.
I’m still in love with him and though I have learnt that I am quite independent and do not need him, I do want him. I can live without him but I don’t want to.
I’m wanting to know if you think the mc method will help in my situation. What I’m doing and have done so far sure isn’t working!
Thanks ☺️

EBR Team Member: Amor

November 8, 2017 at 9:15 pm

Hi Lisa,

Yup it can help and continue improving yourself.. Improvement and growth is always better whether you get him back or not.

Dionne

November 5, 2017 at 7:49 am

Hi, I just want to see if there is a chance?.
I dumped my partner 4months ago the relationship was so angry for over a year. In the last month we became close again we began making love he said he loved me so so much and I said I loved him. Anyways he now says he can’t get back with me it’s never going to happen too much has happened as he feels resentment to me for past nasty moments between us. ( no physical violence). We live together due to being stuck in a lease and we have a one year old and a step son of his who visits and he too wants us to be together. Anyhoot I’ve played the iam okay and tried to be nice but he’s messaging a woman who lives 5 hours away constantly and is visiting her this Friday for a night, this has broken me to be bits. I left the house so he didn’t see me cry but I have to return now due to my job. What’s going on ? How can someone say they love you so much 6 days ago then say naa it’s never Gona happen and then txt random women asap ?? He also laughed when I said he was jumping into a new relationship he said this isn’t going to be a relationship. Will I get him back if I begin the mc ? I can’t tell what he’s playing at ? He also said to me as well I hope u do find someone that would be really good ?

EBR Team Member: Amor

November 6, 2017 at 10:51 am

Hi Dionne,

It’s not guaranteed but nc helps increase your chances. Aside from the advice above, check this one too:
EBR 027: What To Do If You Live With Your Ex Boyfriend

Crystal

November 1, 2017 at 6:00 am

I went through a full month of minimal contact after being broken up with my ex for 2 months. I sent him a text msg and he was responsive. He started to do things to get my attention or find a way to talk to me and then he gut punches me and tells me he’s going on a vacation for two weeks. He doesn’t say who he’s going with but let’s me know its a pleasure trip. My feelings were hurt and i lashed out. Now i feel really stupid and he is no longer responding to my texts abbr was hurtful when he was responding. Telling me he doesn’t care What i do or who i do it with. What do I do now?

EBR Team Member: Amor

November 1, 2017 at 9:38 pm

Hi Crystal,

When did you break up? How long were you together and how many times have you broken up and done nc?

Lea

October 28, 2017 at 12:01 pm

Thanks for the links. We have lived together for almost 3 years but not married. So is it still following the one you linked?(ex husband) since last week I have contact him about kids and need his address for mediation. He read but didn’t reply. Before that he said don’t contact him unless about kids otherwise he doesn’t want to hear from me, good bye. Then now he doesn’t reply about kids either. 🙁 he’s gone is he?

EBR Team Member: Amor

October 30, 2017 at 8:05 pm

Yeah, you can still try it.. Let him be for now.. Being civil doesn’t mean you’ll stop if he doesn’t right..

Lea

October 27, 2017 at 4:53 am

thanks Armor,
I have been trying to be nice and civil about kids thing and seeking Mediation with him but he has none reply to me about kids at all since last Wed. Feels like he’s punishing me for not letting his gf around my kids now.
and btw, we didn’t get married, only defecto, so i don’t know if it will apply to the link you gave to me for ex-husband.

EBR Team Member: Amor

October 30, 2017 at 8:05 pm

Yeah, you can still try it.. Let him be for now.. Being civil doesn’t mean you’ll stop if he doesn’t right..

Lea

October 24, 2017 at 9:30 am

That sounds I have no chance at all 🙁
We have been arguing about kids coz what he wants to do with kids are not kids best interests and he wants ow always around when see kids. I have lost 18 kgs since. On NC 4 days coz I kept breaking it tried to explain about kids and coz he called me few times and got trapped talked about why he left coz he didn’t hones with me but then he told me lots of fact. He said he met the girl 7 months ago which was about the time when he said he fell out of love. He said but at that time they r just friends and didn’t cheat. But I did see there were couple times that he smiled at some msgs but he said it’s was his colleague talking about work so I didn’t asked more when he still with me. Then that’s also when he started not respected me and kids and we got so many fights coz of it. He kept staying he didn’t want to break up but then just one night he said he want to break up with me. Then ya. 2.5 weeks later they are together officially like I mention before. He said they are in serious relationship and he’s super happy said he thinks she’s the one. I am sad, I want him back but feeling like I have no chance at all now…

EBR Team Member: Amor

October 24, 2017 at 6:16 pm

It’s ok to talk about the kids, just dont fight him. Be indifferent..check this ones:
The Ungettable Girl

The Definitive Guide On Getting Your Ex Husband Back

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828 thoughts on “Get Your Boyfriend Back If You Have A Child Together”