How To Get Your Ex Boyfriend To Speak To You- Get Him Talking Again

1,518 thoughts on “Making Your Ex Boyfriend Speak To You Again”

Ann

June 11, 2015 at 5:03 pm

I would be appreciated if I can get some help here. My ex boyfriend and I have been together for 1 1/2 years. In this time, we’ve broken up 3 times (this will be the 4th time). Each time we broke up, we grew and learned from our mistakes. Around 3 weeks ago, we got into a fight and he broke up with me 3 days later telling me how I’m always on top of him. He then proceeded with a full block out however, 2 weeks later he unblocked me, sent me a friend request and messaged me saying hey. We talked a littl and he asked me if I was seeing new people. Now I’m trying to make him remember the old times, but he’s just leaving me on seen and not hitting me up. I would appreciate all the help I can get. Thank you!
Ann

June 11, 2015 at 5:02 pm

I would be appreciated if I can get some help here. My ex boyfriend and I have been together for 1 1/2 years. In this time, we’ve broken up 3 times (this will be the 4th time). Each time we broke up, we grew and learned from our mistakes. Around 3 weeks ago, we got into a fight and he broke up with me 3 days later telling me how I’m always on top of him. He then proceeded with a full block out however, 2 weeks later he unblocked me, sent me a friend request and messaged me saying hey. We talked a little and he asked me if I was seeing new people. Now I’m trying to make him remember the old times, but he’s just leaving me on seen and not hitting me up. I would appreciate all the help I can get. Thank you
B

June 10, 2015 at 5:40 pm

HI, me and my ex had a great relationship, we both loved each other very much. Before me and my ex broke up he told me that he was feeling depressed all the time. This led to me being depressed and we were fighting a lot more. He broke up with me after a little over two years of dating. He came to my house crying and told me that he was tired of being hurt and hurting me all the time, he said that he loved me so much and he just needed some time to figure things out for himself, and that we could still talk and be friends and hopefully get back together someday. After he left I started to panic and tried texting and calling him. This freaked him out so i promised that i would stop. Well, i tried but i didnt stop and finally he said that he didnt love me and that we were never getting back together. After he said this i texted him saying that i was sorry for screwing everything up and i said bye. He never responded to it. Now i really regret not leaving him alone when he first broke up with me. I plan on using the no contact rule for a while. I think he just told me he doesnt love me and wouldnt get back together with me because he wanted me to leave him alone, but i think he doesnt really mean it. I know that he really did love me before we broke up and i think he still does, hes just angry and annoyed with me right now. Im still really scared that he will never want to get back together again. Im hoping if i show him that i can control myself he’ll want to atleast start talking to me again. But im also scared that he wont. I was thinking about asking his friend or his mom if hes told them anything about getting back with me before i text him. Do you think this is a good idea?? And any other suggestions?
Sarah

June 10, 2015 at 3:54 pm

Hi,

When my ex and I broke up he said he wasn’t ready for a relationship, I was also the first girl he had a relationship with. We were together for 2 months. I let hem go and didn’t talk to him for more then 7 months. Then I sent him a message if he wanted to meet me for a drink. We saw each other 3 times and he said every time he liked it but whenever our ‘date’ ended. He didn’t sent me one message. After that I asked him if he wanted to study with me for the exams so he came to me and after studying he tried to kiss me but I smiled and looked away. ( I was scared )The next day I sent him a message that I was already missing my study buddy. He sent me back but he just asked me how I was doing. I was a little sad, that wasn’t the answer I hoped. After 2 words I stopped the conversation. Now I haven’t heard for him in a week, what do I have to do? 🙁
Nicole

June 8, 2015 at 11:56 pm

Chris,

I would really love to hear your feedback! I was with a guy for a year and a half when my boyfriend called and asked for space because he wasn’t sure if I was the one. I asked if there was something missing from the relationship that he needed and his response was, “Good question. No, I don’t think so.” After a few days (where I probably only went every other day giving space) he ended the relationship. He doesn’t have any reason except he isn’t sure I’m the one for him and he doesn’t feel as strongly as he used to. He agrees all my questions are fair but said he doesn’t have an answer for them. We hung up the phone extremely civil, with me saying that if he ever feels this is a mistake, to please reach out to me. He said “absolutely.” However, now refuses to answer any of my calls or texts. I’m his only girlfriend since high school (he’s about to turn 34). I fought for the relationship for 2 weeks and am now working on giving 2 weeks of space. At that point, I thought about reaching out and asking him if he feels like ending us is the right decision for him. I see your post suggested 30 days. I’m just at a complete loss about what could be happening here and wanted to see what your thoughts were and suggestion solutions are. There were no fights and nothing bad happened between us. He just decided that he wasn’t sure and went radio silent. Thank you so much for your response. I can really use advice because this is killing me.
Xyz

June 8, 2015 at 5:20 am

Sir my situation is like hell..u knw what v broke up on 17 Feb 2015.he told me he has a new gf.i begged him 4 a second chance Bt he didn’t give.we r in same class so we need to meet quite regularly.so no contact Ws not possible 8 th8 tym so we continued talking n decided to remain frnds Bt thngs didn’t work n we couldn’t as he used to get angry over small thngs.so i decided to form a nw frnd circle Bt frm then thngs became more worse.i Ws d only 1 trying to restore d thngs Bt he Ws not treating me properly.we hugged kissed holded hands even more after d breakup.i didn’t understand th8 weather to treat him lyk a frnd or bf coz if i treat hm lyk frnd he didn’t seem to be happy although he never says anything bt i jst don’t knw why he feel lyk th8……so whn r frndshp Ws also not going on r8 dirn. I asked him d reason.he said i cant take more now.enough is enough.i asked him 4 my mistake as a frnd Bt he said there is lot not 1 thng.i said sorry Bt he didn’t listened so i got angry n used bad language n asked him to get lost.he also said bad about me bt in coded form(may b abuse)n asked me to get lost.from then i m on no contact ie from 21 may bt he didn’t contacted me since then not even unblocked me on wtsapp n phone till now..i meet him quite regularly bt we ignore each other.i front of him i smile n laugh wid my frnds n remain bz over my cell phone wid my frnd.people thnk th8 m talking 2 my nw bf n jst to make him jealous i tld every1 th8 m talking to my nw bf Bt its actually not.i really miss him n wants to b wid him.sometyms i catch him looking 8 my syd Bt m not sure as i never look 8 him properly..u knw jst syd looks……..ii jst don’t knw where this is going..plzz tell me wht 2 do coz i want him to contact me coz i think if i vl go 2 him he will never rspct me,…plzz tell something sir……..wht to do now?
Jess

June 8, 2015 at 5:17 am

My boyfriend broke up with me last week, and he claims it’s because of his future career that he needs to work towards. We;ve been together for a year and he’s very motivated and driven in his independent life. Unfortunately, I became less independent and more codependent. It’s now been a little over a week and he’s called me once and texted me twice. I ignored all of them – since I’ve instilled NC since the break up. The texts would say things like “I’m sorry, but it has to be this way.” I think it’s because he feels like he needs to invest more time in working and that he won’t be able to tend to me like he or I want him to and that he will have too much on his plate this coming fall (which in some ways I can vouch for with his upcoming schedule and all). Unfortunately, we had decided to close our long distance relationship and go to the same school this next fall, and now he’s done this and I feel like I can’t anymore cause I’m so embarrassed.
I’m really close with his mom and his mom sometimes texts me to check up on me. She also tells me that he’s been really upset this last week and has become really depressed and admits that things remind him of me and such. She had a heart to heart with him and he told her that he does love me, and care about me and thinks I’m very special, but that his gut is telling him that this is the right thing to do – for him and me.
Do you think he will come around and realize his mistake and want me back?
Is the NC working? Even though he always restates his decision in his texts?
suman

June 6, 2015 at 6:54 am

Help Me too…My BF is not Speaking to me
Adele

June 2, 2015 at 4:39 pm

Hi,
So I’ve done all the No No things you mentioned. We broke up about 1.5 months ago after a year of relationship, by him saying he needs to figure things out.. We were texting and calling few times and then I went for a one week trip with friends.. I didn’t contact him for 4 weeks and he didn’t say anything either. When I came back from my trip I wanted to talk to him. I started calling and texting him, he was responding to my text msg saying that he doesn’t want to see me right now and now isn’t the time. Next morning I told him I am leaving to come to his house and see him, because we HAVE to talk. He got really mad, said that I should respect his decision and that I should have some self respect.. He also said he doesn’t love me and there is nothing to fight for. I said that I actually didn’t plan on going, just wanted to see his reaction and I heard everything I needed to hear. We left it really bad.. He said he realized it is not meant to be and that I should find my happiness as he is not it.. I just can’t understand how 1.5 months ago he told me himself out of the blue that he loves me and now he says he doesn’t.. Should I just move on and leave it? It’s hard after a year of dating and him inviting me to meet his parents etc.. Please let me know your opinion!

Adele

June 30, 2015 at 3:40 pm

Chris, thank you for your work with this website. I feel way better reading your articles and responses! So, I went for a casual date with another guy the other day. Kept telling myself that I must be able to find another sweet guy like my ex. I ended up driving off from that date crying like crazy 🙁 It is not over yet, not over in my heart and in my mind.. My ex contacted me yesterday and I decided to change the tactics and instead of accusations was sweet and nice with him.. I am not sure what he wants, but will just leave it at that for now..
Chris Seiter

July 9, 2015 at 12:35 am

Hey its ok to not be ready to move on the important thing is that you tried and you know for sure you are still crazy about your ex.

In a weird way thats progress.
Adele

June 25, 2015 at 4:20 pm

Surprisingly he came back!! But I was too hurt to accept him 🙁 Although he just contacted me a few times to find out how I am doing.. It’s like stabbing me and than twisting the knife! I pretty much said he should go away, as he was very clear with me that he doesn’t love me, so shouldn’t ask what is going on in my life.. All I did is moved away and left him alone, as he had ashed. Chris, your advice definitely works! The question is, do you want to accept someone who left you in the first place 🙁 And on the other side, I kind of do want him to come back, but not asking me how I am doing but actually putting more effort into it. Chris, what do you think I should do?
Chris Seiter

June 29, 2015 at 6:25 pm

Well, I am glad that you got him to come back but I would tell you if you are happier with him than with anyone else?
Adele

June 15, 2015 at 8:30 pm

Chris, thank you for your note.. I am afraid he is gone for good 🙁 No matter how it hurts, I have to move onn.. Ladies, my advice to you, don’t try to get back someone who chooses to leave you. If he left, he had his reasons and what’s broken you can glue back, but it will never be new 🙁 Sad as it sounds, this man just didn’t love me, when he said he did.
Chris Seiter

June 3, 2015 at 5:00 pm

I say give this a shot first before you just up and move on.

You’d be surprised at how things can end up in your favor.

Dory

May 31, 2015 at 6:46 pm

I wanted to do a no contact rule. So i ignore some of his text. He kept texting and ask me why i disappear. Finally I decided to tell him I dont want him to contact me anymore. He asked for a reason and I told him the reason is i love him so much but I dont think he loves me back, thats why I want to get over the relationship by having time to think only for myself, but not think about i and him anymore. When I told him so, he said he can guess the reason when I did not reply his message and it turn out to be exactly the same reason that he expect. And he finally accept to not contact me any more and want me to move on for the good shake for myself. Did i make a wrong move by being honest about the reason for no contacting? Did i loose/fail from the step 1? What should i do to fix it?
Alley

May 26, 2015 at 6:18 pm

I am 34, my boyfriend (40) of 7 months has been dealing with a stalker for the whole of our relationship. I’ve just found out about this 2 months ago when she attempted to contact me. I did not engage her. This is someone my bf dated for only 3 weeks – prior to his meeting me but around the same time. This situation has been scary and stressful and disturbing for both of us. She has been determined to remove me from his life. On Sunday my bf broke things off with me, very much out of left field. He said he needs a clean sweep of everyone and everything that’s come into his life the past 7 months, this includes me. He said his personal life has been stolen from him and he needs to compartmentalise it as best he can. He said he needs to cut all ties and communication with me unequivocally. He apologized, admitted he was lumping me in with a crazy person, said he knows it’s harsh but what he needs for his own sanity. He then asked me to not communicate with him any further. That his mind is made up and he just wants to put the past year of his life behind him and move forward. This includes saying goodbye to me. He then made steps to eliminate me by blocking me on Instagram and cutting all ties with me. I do not know this woman. I am not involved with the things she’s been doing. She has succeeded in what she set out to do, she destroyed our relationship and got rid of me. I basically am the Velveteen Rabbit, and I do not know what to do.
Xquirl

May 23, 2015 at 8:36 am

Hi! Great advice here. I was wondering if you could give me some insight and moreso what to write to my ex after the NC. We broke up three weeks ago. It was a clean break up due to misunderstandings, lack of better communication and negativity on both our parts. We were lovers (his words) since December of last year and we made each other the happiest and angriest – bringing the worst and best out of each other. With great chemistry. The break up came to be from my negative reaction to his silent treatment when everything was going better than usual. Also, that “pissed him right the fuck off” and a week after we broke up I heard from mutual friends that he was fucking three different girls….Nonetheless, I do wish to communicate with him again. We’re (we were) good friends and despite that I miss him. I have already confessed the reason for break up and why I acted the way I did so I have no idea what to message him after NC. He has mail that is supposed to be delivered at my place (we used to live together) but it has yet to arrive. Ibwas thinking of using that as a way to contact him again if it ever arrives. What do you think?
zoe

May 19, 2015 at 12:51 am

i don’t think in my situation that will help me much as i’m in off and on relationship with my boyfriend for over 13yrs now he was my first and only and i can’t easy move on so the only way i can live is to be with him, it shows that i adore him and am sure he loves me. the problem is every time we breakup i am the one who always try to work things out and reach out for him and even if i text he propley not going to answer “after NC” or maybe in a very rude way
NOW we broke up on dec,2015 and we had some text between us and some phone calls and always me who’s reaching after that on April we fought again and am in the NC! so its almost a month and i don’t think he will contact me plus he blocked me from his WhatsApp and we don’t have Facebook accounts!
What can i do to get him back

thanks
Danielle

May 8, 2015 at 1:14 pm

So I’m new to this site but I’ve recently come across a sudden break up with my boyfriend and I’m completely lost as to what I need to do… Here’s the back story, he was my sorority’s sweetheart and that’s how we met. We became such close friends and then ended up dating. We were together for 7 months and had a few issues. He didn’t talk about his issues though. At the very beginning of our relationship I didn’t support him wanting to join the military and it changed throughout the relationship but he didn’t talk to me about it again. He also said he wanted to get a motorcycle and I was very unsupportive of that as well because they scare me but I realized after we talked about it that it was wrong of me but it was another thing he didn’t talk to me about. He held it all in and held these negative feelings in for a long time. For about 3 weeks he was acting distant and wouldn’t tell me what was wrong then one day he flipped a switch and broke up with me. The next day he told me he had rekindled feelings for a girl from high school in the three weeks leading to the break up and then went to lunch with her and asked me to go to dinner. He told me he made a huge mistake and that he didn’t actually have the feelings he thought he had and he was completely committed to working this relationship out and he wanted me and everything. Well it lasted about 4 days and then suddenly he just gave up and says he doesn’t have feelings for me even though I was doing everything right. Now he won’t speak to me at all and it’s been about two weeks. I’m starting the NC as of yesterday but I need to know if it’s really over. He said he needs some space for about a month or two and maybe we can be friends and that as of right now we aren’t ever going to get back together. But when he said that he didn’t seem entirely sure as he was saying it because he said it and then I said “never again?” And he hesitated and said “as of right now, no. Never” so I just don’t know what I should do and I really need some advice because no one can give me good advice. He is my first love and I truly felt/feel like he’s the one for me even though he doesn’t feel it. He’s been my best friend since we met and I was his for at least the time frame before we started dating up until the break up. I’m not ready for this to be over and I need to know if you think it really is.
suzanne

May 7, 2015 at 3:48 am

January started talking to a guy I went to middle and Hs with. (we are in our late 30’s now hadn’t seen each other since 96) Over 6k messages we decided to meet up. He lives 6 hrs from me. So February 25th I took the drive. From the moment I got there to the day I left march 6th it was magical and we both agreed it was fate and he wanted me to come back and move in with him. Since I had nothing really back at home I made that step and went back up march 10th and things were great! Almost perfect even better when march 16th we found out I was pregnant. Fast toward to our first appointment April 17. We calculate that I was 10 weeks along, but found out I was 15 weeks. It was heartbreaking, I knew instantly the baby was not his. We get back to the house. He asked very calmly basically “wtf” I told him yes I had a one night stand back in January before we even started talking (bout a week before) but I had my (woman month) in February so when we found out I was Prego in march I was confident it was his. He gave me a slight hug and said you need to pack your stuff up and leave. I was devastated. Came back and staying with my mom. I have texted him and he had replied here and there but it was basically him saying he was done and I kept something vital from him. He thinks I knew I was Prego before coming up and was saying it was his. I was like do you think if I knew I would have been talking shots of vodka and drinking plus smoking, I quite the day we found out. He said that was a valid point but his trust in me was broken. Okay so unfortunately last Wednesday I lost the baby. My mom while I was recovering contacts him to let him know, I didn’t want to bother him I was letting him go but he was very worried about me and texted me that he was glad I was okay and to call when I feel better. So from Thursday to Saturday (just last week) we decided that we owe it to each other to meet face to face to talk this out and figure out where we should go, end it or work on us. The last thing I heard from him on Saturday “slept 12hrs heading to work we will talk tomorrow” it is now Wednesday and he has not replied to my fb messages (he’s seen them) so what’s going on? Why? He has Monday off. I’m gonna head on a 6 hr drive get a hotel and text him that im in town if he comes we cam talk if he does not then I know what his decision is. Just confusing how he says he misses, loves and cares for me and yea we need to talk then now he’s ignoring me??? What do I do? I need closer. Should I drive Monday and get my closer, yes I’ll be prepard of a no show but for me qt least I’ll know. Please I need input. I’m a Taurus he’s a Capricorn the number one signs that are very compatible. His mom thinks he should take me back, his aunt agrees saying I was and have been the best he’s ever had or will. They both know I made a bad choice of not mentioning the possibility of baby not being his but people make mistakes. So I hope you can help me figure out why is he ignoring me all of a sudden after wanting to meet face to face and talk. Do I take that chance on going up?
a

May 1, 2015 at 2:16 pm

How can I get him to contact me after nearly a year of not hearing from him. I think he has moved on. He blocked me after the relationship and was pretty cruel but since has unblocked me from contacting him more recently.
Should I reach out? Without contacting him is there a way he will contact me?
Alex

April 22, 2015 at 11:23 pm

I am on somewhat good terms with my ex. However, I asked him simply to call me before he goes to bed since we were long distance and he freaked out on me. He is dealing with many huge projects that are due and was extremely busy so I let him do whatever he needed to do to get things done. I didn’t talk to him for almost the whole day just a couple texts saying “hey whats up” “how is your work going”…simple talk. The next day when I brought up to him that I wished he would have called me he freaked out and said that I don’t care about his work or his future or the fact that he has been busy all day. I responded to him saying “I don’t think one call before you go to bed is that hard. I mean I haven’t talked to you all day. Don’t you at least want to hear my voice?” Long story short he freaked out that I was bummed that he didn’t call me and he said that “it’s just a call” Am I in the wrong for overreacting about a phone call before bed? I told him that if I have a boyfriend, especially since it was long distance, that I would want him to call me before he goes to bed. And if he can’t do that then he shouldn’t be with me. His final answer was “Deal”. We have talked after that and it was just all a mess. After we took a couple weeks off with no talking and things started to ease off. He would send me Snapchats of himself just having fun and doing normal things. Nothing to offend me or hurt me. We still have not talked over text or phone since the last time and I tried to do the “I have a confession to make…” Now my intentions for it were nothing for him to be skeptical about I saw him in a picture on a boat with his friends listening to a DJ and it reminded me of the time when we both had a great time together in the same exact situation. My comment back would have been how it made me think of the good times we had on the boat together. But, when i texted him “I have a confession to make…” he responded “You don’t need to tell me anything. I’d rather not know. Thanks” I am stuck in a pickle and I dont know what to do from here and would like your advice to help me. It is crazy to me because the day before I sent him that text he was sending me all these funny personal Snapchats to me. What are your reccomendations?

Chris Seiter

April 23, 2015 at 12:51 pm

Hmmm… interesting.

Respond “it’s nothing bad…” and then give your confession and then end the conversation.

Sallz

April 16, 2015 at 6:14 pm

Hey Chris .. I actually loved ur advices .. but I really need ur help.. Chris I did not have a successful marriage .. I knew a guy after we separate I liked him a lot but cuz of my ex husband’s actions we got into troubles and suddenly the guy I liked broke up and does not want us to contact me again. We have been for 1 week not contacting each other. So I want to get him back btw we work together in the same place .. what is ur advice?

Chris Seiter

April 20, 2015 at 8:13 pm

Well, were you with this guy while you were married to your husband?

waln

April 15, 2015 at 12:46 pm

hi,
My exboyfriend and i have been together for 6 months (i’m 19 he’s 20) and we had this awesome relationship, we slept together 2 times a week because we’re both in college. and we both lost our virginty in this relationship.
but a week ago (on the 6th of april) he broke up with me because he lost feelings…
a week before we broke up, we went on a trip to Bruges, but for him, now i know, that was just to try to get his feelings back.
he also thought that we had a great relationship but he can’t keep trying to fall in love with me again.
So now i have been sending a lot of texts and begged him to try again with me.
at first he said he wanted to be friends but that he’s sure that we would never ever be back in a relationship.
but because i kept sending him messages he now is kinda pissed of and wants me to leave him alone.
we see eachother once a week at the youth movement and sometimes at parties.
now i really want to try that ‘no contact rule’ to see if he comes back to me.
but it’s really hard not to talk to him…
i broke the NC rule a few times, but for things about our youth movement, not for thing about the relationship.
i really hope he’s missing me, but i thinks he’s not
what should i do to get him interested in me again?
xoxo waln
Guest

April 12, 2015 at 6:54 am

PLEASE HELP!
Hey, so me and my ex boyfriend were together for about 7 months, we were really in love but I was overdramatic and very jealous and I misunderstood things easily and made him angry… he has broken up with me MANY times for this but the next day he would come back to me saying that he loves me too much and can’t stand without me. One day we were on the terms of breaking up again and I told him: “you know I think you play me like a toy, since you always break up with me and then come back to me” and he said “I never expected that from you, well if you think it’s like that then let’s end it now” I know he gets pretty upset when someone tells him that..I agreed and we broke up.. the next day I texted him like two times saying that I really want to be with him, that I miss him and that I won’t bother him again and told him to think about it… but he didn’t respond to any of the texts.. It’s been like 4 days and I don’t know what to think and what to do and I’m losing hope in no contact..please advise me it’s really important:(

« Previous 1 … 10 11 12 13 14 … 28 Next »

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

1,518 thoughts on “Making Your Ex Boyfriend Speak To You Again”