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The Complete Guide For Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back
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The No Contact Rule (The Definitive Guide)
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What Your Ex Boyfriend Says Vs. What He Really Means
Here’s Exactly What He’s Thinking During The No Contact Rule
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Signs My Ex Wants Me Back
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Post categories
completely heart broken
April 8, 2014 at 10:08 pm
I’m 29 now, we dated 10 years ago but these past 10 years we still talk and hook up every 2-3 years, each time it happens its more passionate and much more intense. Usually I pull away and he’s left in the dust (He never complained though). Every time I called or texted he would be there, no questions asked. This last time is different though. Started out the same, I called him, he came… but this had been the longest stent to date, been talking since July. This time I told him I loved him. And I do! I always have, never told him before though, probably shouldn’t have:( anyways this past weekend he demanded I come over but I was drunk and with a few friends (One is an ex of mine, which he does know) this pissed him off, mind you we aren’t committed, and he had never said I was important to him. It’s not like we had plans and I blew him off but he said I was blowing him off and if I didn’t come over right then and there he would never talk to me again! Of course I didn’t go I was too drunk to drive!!! I would have been there in a heartbeat had I been sober, to be honest I would have went to him if I were just kinda drunk, but I was wasted, he wasn’t trying hear any of that! Well it’s been almost 4 days and has kept true to his promise and won’t text me or talk to me, I’ve texted him-countless times- I know seems needy but I love this man, have for my whole adult life, I’m completely heart broken, how can he do this to me! I’m not the heart broken kind either- I’m the heart breaker! This sucks! This time was going to be different too! We’re both mature enough to handle what the two of us have (if that even makes sense) this time we were going to be each other’s again! I dont know what to do:(:(:(
admin
April 10, 2014 at 1:43 am
He will break down… just give him some time.
completely heart broken
April 11, 2014 at 8:43 pm
He did, we’re talking again:):) dating again after 10 years!
admin
April 12, 2014 at 4:16 pm
10 years thats fantastic!
lily
April 8, 2014 at 4:40 am
Yes. One post is visible and the other isn’t. I’ve been happy, I haven’t contacted him, but I see today that he is talking about her. They are not “yet” dating. But a month or less ago he was in love with me. But now it looks like he likes her a lot. And throughout the relationship we had he never really talked to her.
admin
April 8, 2014 at 6:10 pm
Wow, he is all over the place isn’t he?
Addi
April 7, 2014 at 9:43 pm
Nina I know how u feel mine ignores and avoids me everywhere he sees me I SOOOO feel like i`ve been stabbed in the chest when ever I see him with those ass holes I have 2 fight back tears he seems so happy with my enemy and Ano if ur reading this I do feel this way and if ur happy without me tell me becuz,dot,dot,dot,dot,dot,dot,dot, dot,…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………
-I LOVE U,U JERK answer me at least
-Adilene,ur and will always be my first love,..if u bother 2 care…
-BYE and dont read what ever esmay gives u-ok
lily
April 7, 2014 at 2:24 am
He made a new facebook but didn’t block me. But he didn’t return me either. And now he’s talking to his ex and trying to make her his girlfriend. What now?..
admin
April 7, 2014 at 5:10 pm
How do you know he is talking to his ex? Can you see them?
lily
April 7, 2014 at 2:26 am
Didn’t send me a friend request either*
jules
April 6, 2014 at 11:40 pm
I reunited with my ex 6 weeks ago after 7 months of no contact. The first month back together was great and he told me he loved me and workrd hard at being trustworthy and showing effort. After a month he became distant and I barely heard from him for two weeks. So after two weeks I texted him saying if he need space.to tell me or if we are done to tell me that too so I can move on. He never replied. So I figure we are done and make a date with another guy for two days later. So on the evening of the date I arrive at bar before my date and go inside and see my now ex bf eating dinner with his buddy. He waves and smiles. I panic cause I don’t want him seeing my date show up. So I call my date and tell him to meet at place down the street instead. He says ok I’ll be there in 10 mins. So then I go sit with my bf and he buys me a drink and I say what is going on? Why you ignoring me? He says he was sorry and was stressed. And that he isn’t mad and loves me. So everything goes ok and after 10 mins I say I gotta go. I’m meeting a friend at bar down street. We kiss goodbye and all seems well. An hour later I get a text from him saying “if you wanted to hang out you should have texted me. Don’t stalk me.” I’m still out so I don’t respond. Half hour later he texts me “lose my number. Don’t ever call me again.” And then 5 mins later “and yes I’m going to change the password to my truck.”
When I get home, I reply and tell him I wasn’t stalking him, I was meeting a date cuz he kept ignoring me so I thought we were over. And that I had nonidea what his truck has to do with anything. So he replies immediately “find so lose my number I’m erasing your number don’t talk to me anymore.”
I have no clue as to why he flipped out like this in a matter of an hour. When I left him eating with his friend he was happy and we kissed bye.
Its been one week and he’s not contacted me since. I texted many times the day after to ask what was going on with him but he ignored me.
Why is he being this way? Should I keep reaching out or go no contact? I doubt he will reach out to me at all.withing 30 days.
Addi
April 6, 2014 at 9:54 pm
Theresa-I know exactly how u feel! I have the same issue well sorta my ex[1st bf] wont answer me he keeps hanging out with this bio-sexual bitch[he claims is his “friend” but HE let`s HER TOUCH HIM!!!and his friends say he is obsessed over me YEAH RIGHT!!! I have never felt like this 4 any other guy before I actually think he`s betr off without her and she doesn`t love him she and her friends r trying 2 get back at me and Ano if u r reading this it`s true and I NAYELI U if u feel the same TELL me I won`t laugh at u I would NEVER do that,i thought u knew that.On Friday aftr I saw u crossing the street with her, tears came 2 my eyes the more u avoid me the more I cry and I let my emotions show themselfs aftr school I can only hold back tears 4 so long and I have enough self control 2 not beat ur girl”friends” If u still care about me -becuz I can`t take this pain anymore I NEED 2 know please. -Adilene,the
girl who will allways
love u,wether or not u do
Bye.
Lysha93
April 6, 2014 at 7:22 pm
Ok so I texted my ex the confession text, he said what, I waited and then did the text that comes after and he hasnt responded since. how should I proceed??
admin
April 7, 2014 at 4:53 pm
What did you send as your confession?
Lysha93
April 8, 2014 at 12:59 am
That I had found some cartoon pictures of us I had drawn and it made me smile.
Lysha93
April 8, 2014 at 1:03 am
and when he didnt respond to that I said that I was going out with some friends and bye. He hasnt said anything since but I caughtvhim driving.by my house, which is odd cause I live in a place where u have to purposefully try to drive by it. Is he staking me now?
Grace
April 5, 2014 at 5:47 pm
This guy and I were barley fairing but I really ended up liking him. His friends really like me and I ended up hanging out with one just as friends he has a girlfriend and is way older. The guy I was dating wanted me to come hang with him after but by that time it was really late so I went home. I also asked his friend about him and I guess he told him. We texted a little after that then didn’t hear from him for a week so I decided to message him on fb and he said I got into his personal space by being friends with his friend which he friended me. Then he said it was like a non fun threesome and the right after blocked me from fb. After that I hit up his friend and asked why he’s so mad at me and then I got a text later that day saying leave my friend out of our drama what’s wrong with you??? Don’t u have any boundaries??? I of coarse being dramatic responded and proceeded to apologize and called him the next night and left a message to apologize but short and sweet. I just don’t know if he will ever talk to me again since he deleted me from fb???? I am still friends with his friends. One if them told me I’m the only girl he’s introduced them to and hung with. What should I do???? It’s been a week and have not contacted him I’m actually to scared. Help?? I really like him.
admin
April 6, 2014 at 5:15 pm
Are you in a no contact rule?
Grace
April 6, 2014 at 6:01 pm
Yes. I only called him Monday eve after the Sunday it happened a week ago to apologize but nothing since. I just feel like hell never talk to me again because he blocked me on fb. I just felt a connection with him I haven’t had in forever. I’m not hurting for dates at all went on 2 last night with really good looking guys but I like the other guy. I can’t shake him. I won’t contact him.
Grace
April 6, 2014 at 6:46 pm
I just feel like I ruined everything. I keep kicking myself like this is all my fault. I just started to really like him and couldn’t help my feelings and I pushed him away. I’m so sad. He had to have liked me if he introduced me into his group of friends and took me to his playoff soccer game right?!?! I want that back so bad. I feel like a stupid crazy girl. I’m killing it in the gym in the mean time and keeping busy.
admin
April 7, 2014 at 5:02 pm
He definitely did but don’t kick yourself while your down. Just take things one step at a time.
Grace
April 7, 2014 at 6:03 pm
You think he will ever talk to me again or am I completely cut off? I know I should let it go but I like the guy. Would you talk to a girl after you blocked her??? I still talk to his friends and I’m a trainer and I train them. They asked me.
Grace
April 12, 2014 at 8:47 pm
I’m never gonna hear from him am I??? I never like a guy this much so I don’t know why I do. I just miss him
admin
April 13, 2014 at 4:37 pm
I bet you do hear from him again.
Grace
April 14, 2014 at 12:15 pm
Hey. Thanks btw. I just think I’m over him then I all of a sudden get this major feeling of loss when I randomly think of him and then that’s when I write u. I prob sound like a crazy girl. Thanks for your help and I’m hoping I’ll get over him soon. And I wish all the other heart broken girls the best of luck!!! Sucks being a girl sometimes.
Grace
April 19, 2014 at 6:29 pm
So I text him today like an idiot. I just said I thought I’d try one more time life is to short. Also told him that in kicking myself for not hanging with him the night he wanted me to. I guess if I don’t hear back I know it’s over. Just sucks cause I really like him. I haven’t text for 3 weeks. I just dont get why I can’t get over it. This is not like me at all. I really appreciate your input and this site. It feels good to be able to vent a little. Thanks again for your help I couldn’t wait 60 days.
Grace
April 5, 2014 at 6:07 pm
Sorry. I mean he blocked me on fb not deleted me. I already deleted him on fb cause I dont like to have people I’m dating on fb because it screws with my head and I exlpained that to him. I just really like him which is rare for me. It’s not hard for me to get a date but this is the first guy I like in like at least 5 years. I’m still going out with other guys in the mean time in hopes I can forget about him. I feel so stupid I’m not usually like this. I’m 30 and he’s 35. I feel like we are to old for this. His friends really like me though even his girlfriends they think im awesome. Help!!!!
lily
March 30, 2014 at 8:05 am
Would this still work if they are talking to girls they are interested in?
admin
March 30, 2014 at 8:16 pm
It can yes.
lily
March 31, 2014 at 10:13 am
What if they’re trying to get into a new relationship? Would me not bothering him repell that or? I see he’s talking to his ex girlfriend that he had blocked on Facebook for almost the whole time we were dating. And I’m just going to say honestly- I know that I was special to him and the relationship was too. That he never had one like the one we had before. I was his best friend for years and had been there when he had his ex’s. They lasted a few months and were one of those immature type of relationships where they say I love you the first day when they had no idea what love was. Neither did I. Maybe I still don’t. But I’ve never felt like this for anyone. I said I love you to him months after we started our relationship he started to cry because he was really happy I said those words. That day was so special to me. And I was wondering if it means nothing anymore to him that maybe he is trying to get back with his ex.
lily
April 6, 2014 at 7:17 am
aaaaannnddd now he has her as a facebook cover and that is the new facebook he made, friended everyone except for me. Whats happening. Lost him for good orrrr
lily
April 6, 2014 at 8:55 am
And posted about her. Obviously is trying to make her his girlfriend. I.. What do I do..
annallese
April 8, 2014 at 7:03 pm
Who knows. I broke up with my ex seven weeks ago. We broke up because we were in a relationship that we shouldnt have been in. We conducted our relationship in secret as he is my ex husbands brother and as a family they are close. Which made it wrong. This is the reason we split up so many times over the last 18 months, yet we remained in contact almost daily. And inevitabley always ended up back together. Because we loved and desired eachother and because we enjoyed spending time together. We both knew it couldnt last. He always said to me that hed still be there for me, as a friend, when we were over, even when i have someone else. I felt differently, as the thought of him being with someone else, despite knowing i couldnt have him filled me with jealousy and so i couldnt promise the same. He said he never wanted me out of his life. That although we couldnt be together, out in the open, for good, that we could at least be friends.
So, the last time we met up was at the end of january. Spoke almost daily as usual. Then a couple of weeks into feb, i started getting worried about it all, thinking how difficult its gonna be when one or the other meets someone new. Someone they dont have to hide, who they can introduce to family and friends. So late on a friday night, after having a drink(!) i sent him a msg, basically saying that it has to be all or nothing and its never gonna be all so it has to be nothing, that staying in touch just makes things worse, that no good can come from it. It was a really long msg, full of emotion that would be enough to scare anyone let alone a man who always struggled with it! As soon as i pressed sent i regretted it! Couldnt bear the thought of not speaking to him again. Do, basicslly, he thought i was giving him an ultimatom. When hes angry/ upset, he withdraws and takes time to think about things.. So he barely replied after i sent it. Which made me send more! As i regretted it and wasnt giving him the ultimatom he thought and i wanted to explain and plus i hate being ignored. Of course, all the msgs and the content made me look a bit mad! I pushed him to reply and he did. Saying he thinks we should stop contact and move on. My heart was broken. I never thought hed say that. But it was 7 weeks ago so i guess he did. Now im worried hes seeing someone, and i feel as though im treading on eggshells when im around friends/ family cos i know someones gonna mention his (possible) new gf. Bear in mind these ppl dont know about us so they would have no idea that their words and information hurt me. Its only now i can see the far reaching consequences of all this. If feelings werent involved, id be fine! However, im beginning to wonder if his feelings were ever real if he could just let me go like that. The opposite of what he always said. We’ve spoken by text on two occasions in the lastv7 weeks. First was a week after he sent that msg saying we should move on (which i never responded to at all). I apologised for how everything came across. He responded to that the next morning. The second time was after we passed eachother in the street. We said hello but didnt stop. So i text explaining why i didnt etc. He replied, said he hopes im well. I said im good and hope he is, to which he replied, glad your ok. Im ok too. That was prob about three and a half weeks ago. Then..today i think i saw him. But he didnt speak, or smile or anything! Im not 100% sure it was him but if it was, why wouldnt he speak to me! I cant text to ask if it was him as i want to complete 30 nc and also, when we ended his words made me feel like a stalker so i darent! What a situation!
Theresa
March 27, 2014 at 6:03 am
Hi Chris,
I broke my 30day NC rule today by emailing him and he never responded (3 weeks in – I was so close), and I guess I am having the hardest time believing he will ever contact me again. I admit my relationship with my ex was toxic, but I have really been thinking about and analyzing the relationship. I took the breakup really hard, I did everything that I shouldn’t have done after the breakup. I was such an emotional wreck and still am. I am really having a hard time. I feel as if he is ignoring me because he hates me. I guess I just don’t want to feel as if the relationship (9 months) was nothing and I want to sincerely fix my problems (insecurity, etc). But it’s hard when he said that he needed to go his own way – basically breaking up with me. I keep telling myself that I have to get over him in order for me to improve, but I always fall back because I am just really scared he will just end up finding some new girl and forget me.
I really need your help in getting over him to fix myself. I know the motivation has to come from me as well. But it’s pretty damn hard because I feel like he’s completely fine without me, and we were LDR because I graduated college and moved back home.
Please help. 🙁
Nina
March 28, 2014 at 1:40 am
Theresa,
my ex broke up with me after a huge argument. He just quit speaking to me. I tried approaching him in person and he ran from me. It hurts so bad. We were together 2 years – 7 weeks later after him ignoring me, I feel half dead. I have tried contacting him several times but he will not respond. Maybe it means they found new girls to move on with??
admin
March 28, 2014 at 12:01 am
Are you two still in a LDR… well, let me rephrase that. Are you still a far distance apart?
Theresa
March 28, 2014 at 9:21 am
yes, there is no plan of me moving/going down there anytime soon (I’m in San Francisco, while he’s in San Diego)
admin
March 28, 2014 at 4:28 pm
Well, if there was no plan ever in motion that could have been a problem. LDR can only survive so long as there is a plan to be together in the future. It gives both people something to work towards.Thats just my personal view.
Theresa
March 31, 2014 at 8:49 am
I’m not going to argue with that, you are right.
This week has been crazy. I told you I had contacted him, and he replied with a very bitter email, telling me how great his life has been without me. And I’ve realized I don’t need that kind of person in my life.
I will now move on to your article on how to get over him now, and I really want to let you know your articles are amazing. I hope to someday be able to comment on your article to tell you I am happy and have moved on.
Thank you Chris 🙂
Theresa
March 27, 2014 at 6:05 am
Correction:
we were LDR for the last month*
Clare
March 23, 2014 at 12:35 pm
Hi,
I met a guy on Facebook about 8 weeks ago. We’ve talked extensively during that time and really hit it off. After two weeks, we met up, and after we agreed that we liked each other, but that we should take it slow, get to know each other, keep it low key and that it was very early days. We’ve gone on to see each other three more times since then (commitments for each of us make it a little difficult).
During the time we have have known each other though, I now realise I came on far too strong and tried to really push the relationship. I can even see where it made him uncomfortable. We talked last Saturday and he’s told me that he thinks I feel more than he does, and that he doesn’t miss me between us seeing each other like he thinks he should. He doesn’t know why, because we do get on and he really enjoys my company. He thinks that he sees me as more of a friend, at this time, and isn’t sure whether or not he sees it developing into more. He asked if I could go from there (being friends, that is)?
I accepted what he said. i have more or less begun the no contact rule, although he likes a fair few of my Facebook statuses and sometimes comments on them. I do feel sometimes, he puts his own comments on to entice me to respond.
Given that I do feel I made the classic mistake of bunny boiling and coming on too strong, if I back off, take it back to basics and built the friendship first, do you think there’s any hope?
Thanks…..
Clare
ariel
March 19, 2014 at 3:06 am
My boyfriend and I were completely in love no fighting the perfect relationship to start off with….He always text me every morning same time …The day before the break up he told me he has found true love me and wanted me to be happy ….that night we said our good night’s like every night with I love yous…I sent him a quote on being completely honest in a relationship will equal longterm happiness no matter what your past blah blah blah so the next morning he text like usual good morning love then told me the VP of his company chewed him out the night before apparently someone called and complained about us dating mind you he is district manager of a tire place and I was a previous customer so he then said they gave him 3 options stop seeing me, get fired cause its against company policy to date a customer or get transfered to another store of course my first thought was what are you trying to tell me…I asked him if he didn’t want to see me anymore he said no that’s not it he wants to be with me but needs to make sure his choice is the right one for him and his kids. ..then it came a few minutes later the only choice he had was to stop seeing me….then later that day he told me to stop texting him and the only way we could ever get Over this was to stop talking period…before that he told me he loved more than I knew and that this was extremely hard but has to do what he has to to keep his job…I was crushed I felt like he just gave up on me…..why not fight for me….anyways we’ve talked a few times but has told me to not text him anymore….He told me a few days ago to give him time and he’d let me know then yesterday told me he just wants to forget me ….what are my chances of now following through with the no contact he implied and let him go…will it eventually work for us??? Any insight would be appreciated. ..Thank you
admin
March 20, 2014 at 6:12 pm
there are no guarantees obviously but I will tell you what. If you follow the plans I lay out on this site I promise you that your chances of winning him back will be drastically increased.
Jaime
March 17, 2014 at 1:50 am
Hey Chris,
No contact was a breeze compared to what happened to me today lol
I actually went 45 days no contact, just to ensure I was serious, and had enough time to work on myself, go on a few dates etc. I sent out a casual, funny text about inappropriate bumper stickers a week ago (we always sent each other funny bumper stickers we saw while driving), and he did not respond. I was going to just give up and move on. Until today….! I went to the bank near his work, for the first time in 45 days, and as I pulled in the parking lot, there he was! He was in the drive through so I parked and walked into the bank. As I crossed in front of his car, his two dogs appeared and started going crazy, obviously spotting me. I kept going, and heard his car pull out. I stopped and looked, he stopped dead twice in the parking lot before finally pulling out. I got pretty upset afterwards, I loved those dogs just as much as I loved him. I got home and sent him a message saying ‘ hey, I saw you at the bank. The dogs are looking as happy and bouncy as ever lol I hope some day things won’t be so awkward, I would have liked to be able to say hello’. He responded ‘ I thought that was you lol I was going to stop but was late for my sister bday party’ ( his family is very strict about being on time lol). I wrote back ‘ enjoy the cake and don’t be a stranger, you know awkwardness makes me feel awkward’ ( we always used to joke about how embarrassed i would get about uncomfortable situations, even if they weren’t happening to me). He wrote back ‘ I feel the same way lol’
What do I do now???
Laura
March 14, 2014 at 2:04 pm
Hi Chris! So this guy who is an LT in the army always contacted me everyday for one year. We got very close, and became really good friends. He took me out for a date and we continued to talk 4 months after that with the same enthusiasm. Then he graduated from an university and ready to continue serving the army; however, they declined him for training some trainings needed to be deployed as an officer. Anyways, he ended up depressed not having his dream job, his beloved grandmother’s health declining, and done other things that him hard during Christmas time. So we had a little disagreement, (in the past we always overcame these hiccups) and he decided to cut off of our communication without letting me know. So after two weeks of getting the idea, I was honest with him and he decided to reply so we can clear it out like before. Except this time he told me I was demanding and need to understand he only sees me as a friend. The conversation ended nicely as friends cause I was never officially anything more. Fast forward to present terms, he has gained over 15lbs and still not working full time in the army.
So I was on a road trip with friends and was looking for good gun range so I contacted him with our question. He answered and hope we had a fun day I wished him the same since he was in my hometown for vacation. That was the end of our communication.
Bottom line, I want to know how I should reply to his “We did! Lol” referring he had a fun time with his family. By the way, I do miss talking to him, but too prideful to tell him. Lol
So should I just ignore it, or reply- what’s your advise?
Kiersten
March 13, 2014 at 7:39 pm
it’s been 104 days since he talked to me. yes i know how long, and i know its pathetic. i love him and want him back so bad
cherry
March 10, 2014 at 4:25 pm
Wat to say when ur bf didn’t wish u on ur birthday and on dat very day his younger brother starts fyting wid u and u abuse him. . N he take his side. Then u broke up.
Ashmita
March 9, 2014 at 11:44 am
I had a break up wid my bf few days back..he ws cheating me since 2 months..we wr in a long distance relatnship..he got a new gf n i knew about it accidently..bt he confsed dat he still loves me..i want hm backk in my lyf..plz hlp me
Melissa Tan
March 8, 2014 at 5:44 am
hi.. I read your contents, I don’t know if you could help me..
My ex and I broke off 1 year ago, and I don’t deny that the memories are still there.. I thought we were still friends even though we don’t talk to each other much or contact via texting..
but recently I found out that he block me on fb, of cause I was disappointed.. because I really thought that he was still my friend, but I guess I was wrong..
the question is : Should I continue this friendship? or just accept that we ain’t friends anymore
Tiease
March 8, 2014 at 12:36 am
Hey Chris i recently got out of a relationship with my boyfriend who i have been dating for almost 3 years. he got a new girlfriend after me and him broke up, me and him are speaking kinda but not as much, i really want him back our relationship was so strong. please help me. thanks …
admin
March 8, 2014 at 7:09 pm
Does the new gf exhibt signs of being a rebound?
Ashmita
March 16, 2014 at 11:24 am
Yes its a rebound relationship bt nw its been 20 days since we hav talkd..he sblockd me n whatsapp..can i get hm back coz dr s still luv n hs hrt he s jst nt listening to his hrts feeling..will ds nc rule work out
kath
March 6, 2014 at 11:04 pm
So, today is 17 years since we met. We’ve been long distance for a long time but it was ok for both of us. Lately he says he doesn’t want to see or speak to me. He says he’s changed his number and won’t give it me. So were chatting on Twitter and now he won’t follow me so everything is on public. I’m thinking the 30 day thing won’t work but can’t figure him out at all.
admin
March 7, 2014 at 7:01 am
How long have you two been Long Distance?
kath
March 7, 2014 at 7:28 am
Sorry that was supposed to say 16.
kath
March 7, 2014 at 7:17 am
About 6 years. Guessing he’s moved on.