How To Get Your Ex Boyfriend To Speak To You- Get Him Talking Again

1,518 thoughts on “Making Your Ex Boyfriend Speak To You Again”

GardenEyes

January 29, 2014 at 5:14 am

My boyfriend and I had been on rocky terms since the beginning of winter break. I went insane on him and made him choose an ultimatum between fighting his parents for me on their family vacation because I was so self absorbed I didn’t see they needed family time alone. During that time I house sat for them and read his mom’s emails about me and they were negative and I used that as fuel to make him fight harder and be miserable the entire trip. Still not getting my way I dumped him and then immediately called him the next day saying how sorry I was, I’d said the most hurtful things via text possible. Then I argued with him constantly and enough was enough, he didn’t invite me to a party needing his space and I took that to break up with him again. And he didn’t let me back. I went insane the next week, I texted him constantly, showed up at his place, called him a ton, left him letters, and contacted his ex girlfriends I knew he’d try to contact to go to bat for me (stupid) and then impersonated one (even dumber) but I told him I’d done it and her. Should I give him 60 days? He’s very upset with me and said he doesn’t ever want to date me again.
Jas

January 29, 2014 at 3:48 am

My boyfriend and I have been dating for 6 months and all of a sudden after our 6 month anniversary, literally the next day, he goes MIA on me! He doesn’t call and he won’t text back. I haven’t seen him since December 21, 2013. After a few weeks I decide to call him up once a week while he was at his 2nd job. He’s a VJ on the local radio station on the weekends so I knew he had to answer the phone. I did that for two weeks and we talk for at least 15min or more about life. The past weekend I didn’t call because I’m trying to do this NC thing. Is it too late to start NC? Also, I deleted him from my FaceBook but he still follows me on Instagram and Twitter, is subtweeting apart of NC or should I just stay off social sites altogether? Please respond 🙁

admin

January 29, 2014 at 6:57 pm

You can go on social sites just have the discipline to NOT contact him or respond to him.
Jas

January 29, 2014 at 11:33 pm

Thanks for replying back!

lisa

January 29, 2014 at 1:08 am

I text him the i have a confession text n he said what i wait a hour to text back like you said n then i said something romantic and i have not got a text back yet it has been a hour so now what??? What does this mean????

admin

January 29, 2014 at 6:51 pm

Hmm… well, obviously the confession text didn’t work. It may have been too much for him to handle.
lisa

January 29, 2014 at 9:34 pm

So what should i do now????

Martha rojaaas

January 28, 2014 at 9:40 pm

It’s me again, today marks 2 weeks since he left me , now he says we are better as friends ..so I try not to message him until he does , could I say I think he still cares about us? Cuz once we argued even as friends and I told him if he wants me out of his life that I would stay out but he keeps talking to me? Can that be a sign that he still cares? Or should I get in my head that he don’t see me as a Gf anymore ? And just let go , like I said he’s kinda immature so maybe he’s confused Idk all this has me so emotional…I try the NC but he messages me again , and if there’s a chance I don’t wanna shit that door of possibility
Danielle

January 28, 2014 at 8:00 pm

My ex fiancé and I have been together for almost 4 years. He was my bestfriend for a year prior to dating. We were high school sweethearts. Our relationship has been on and off due to lack of communication. Two weeks ago him and I got into a huge argument and it resulted in him not speaking to me until 4 days ago. My period was late by a couple of days so I had to end up calling him at work in order to get his attention. So later that day he came over and we talked about what we were going to do and I asked him what happened to us and why did he left. He told me because I don’t listen to him when he’s trying to tell me he doesn’t have the money for much this month. He told me he wanted to work things out. Sunday comes a long and I asked him if he’d come over and he said yes. He didn’t show up when he said he was, so I went to sleep. I woke up to a text from him saying, “you always do this! I told you I was busy and you blow up my phone. I never said I was coming for sure.” I called him and we ended up arguing again and he got mad and hung up. Yesterday, I apologized and everything was ok. He came over after work and we talked and I just started crying. I told him he’s changed so much and idk why, and that we were fine up until two weeks ago. In so many words he basically said he’s trying to prove a point because I said he wasn’t trying in the relationship so now he’s going to show me what not trying feels and looks like. After that I just said I was sorry for not appreciating his effort, and things were a little better. he was actually communicating. When he left I started talking to a friend about the situation. He was saying that if my guy really cared he would’ve worked things out right then and there that he probably messed with another girl and came back after. So dumb little me screen shots the text and sends it to my man. He got so pissed and told me idc what his b**** a** thinks don’t tell me because I didn’t ask for his opinion I’ll fwd this to him if he wants. Well he did just that, and sent me the screenshot of the text he sent. I texted back asking why would he do that and he sent me the screen shot of the guy asking who it was and him replying with a smart comment. I ignored it. He text me again saying idc what your friends think so don’t tell me or send me screen shots of it. I ignored it. He texted me again and said because of that don’t ever talk to me again. Thats when I responded. I texted him begging for him to just give me two minutes and I’d leave him alone for good. He finally picked up and I asked why he’s doing this and he said because I told you idc what your friends think and I told him ok but I sent you that as a wake up call like hello if other people think this is going on I bet she does too. And he said its not going on but ok you have a minute left. I told him not to do this and I’m not giving up on him until he tells me to, and that I’m going to keep fighting for this. He hung up after. I texted him this morning apologizing and he didn’t respond. Idk what to do. I don’t want to lose him. I only sent him the screenshot so it’d make him realize how he’s making him and I look. I didn’t expect for it to happen like this.

admin

January 29, 2014 at 6:43 pm

I am sorry about the breakup.

It is really tough when two people are engaged and something like this happens.

I would go into NC if I were you.

Gigi

January 28, 2014 at 3:49 am

Bf of 5 years dumped me and moved away (temporarily for work) 3 months ago. At 1st I was beggy. Then I said NC, but he kept contacting me until he baited me and I became needy again. He then became uncharacteristically angry and controlling regarding our convos. Finally, told him I wasn’t going to have it. He’s been respectful since. The past month communication has been brief, but cordial. I called 1x, he called 1x (to randomly ask if I needed his help with something – I didn’t). He follows my company (me) on social media. He texted to see how my first show went. I did text him I missed him 2 weeks ago, but we ended up having a good convo about my career progress. I texted him exactly 1 week ago about a strange coincidence I thought he would find bizarre/funny, but no response – has never happened before. 2 days later without thinking I emailed him a pic that reminded me of him. I sent him a 1 line email that said that I wasn’t being conscious of my actions and shouldn’t have emailed pic, but I sounded confident, and didn’t apologize. He said it was fine. Then in reference to the pic told an inside joke (in the form of a question) that I’d actually forgotten. I waited a day and wrote back a 1 line answer in jest. It’s been 4 days since then. He admits he’s still sad about the breakup, but insist we wouldn’t work. I think he panicked before moving away and had a big reaction to a little problem. I never believed in soul mates until I met him. I think this breakup is a massive mistake. Should I respect his wishes and give up on us? Should I go with my gut? Should I start 30 days of NC from the last email I sent?
Marissa

January 27, 2014 at 11:26 pm

My ex and i were friends in high school then started dating. We were together for 4 years and broke up a few times because i was unsure of my feelings towards him. I knew i loved him but wanted to know what else is out there. We always got back together and worked things out. I thought everything was going great between us until he told me two months ago that he knows he loves me but dont know if hes in love with me anymore. I broke up with him right away because i was very upset. I texted him and he spoke to me but never contacted me again. I texted him for new years and he responded. Then we had a big snow storm and he texted me saying becaureful out there. Tonight i texted him telling him that i understand how he felt and we are young and we need to grow on out own. And i dont want to be enemies and i wish him all the best. He responded saying he he feels the same way. It has been two months since we broke up. I love him and i want him back. But i dont know if there is a chance in the future for us. Did anyone ever experience something like this? Thanks for uour advice.

admin

January 28, 2014 at 6:15 pm

How long hs it been since the two of you last spoke?

Dayana

January 27, 2014 at 7:35 am

Aur so down.i love this guy very much.i can’t get him out of my head.not even for a minute.the thing is a very busy man.we used to talk before and see each other,but too bad he got married.i know he doesn’t love his wife coz it happened that we met at his place couple of times when he was engaged.and after he got married I didn’t see him alone again.we do contact each other from time to time on fb chat.but that happens after a long timed msg from me.i get his reply.his msgs are always short.unlike me.coz am the one whose in love not him.i know he likes me.i hate to talk like this but am a beautiful lady.any man would fall into me.but I don’t want anyone else rather than him.last time we met in a restaurant, him with his wife and me with my family. We had eye contact and I saw in his eyes his craves.afrer I left he sent me a msg that I was looking very elegant , classy and that he loved war he saw.he even asked some photos of me. U know Wat I mean. I waited 3 to 4 days and I sent them.he didn’t reply back. I waited also for abt 3 days for him to reply with a comment.but he didn’t. So I went crazy over him. I sent him a msg saying that why do u live u that much meanwhile I can be with any guy on earth .why do I have to bare all the things that you do.ur carelessness,ur everything that causes me to fall asleep every night crying my self to sleep?why would I ever put myself in such a very bad condition that I send my photos to u and u give no shit abt it.bka bl a bla.so I asked him not reply at all and that I don’t want to hear anything from him again and that I wish I never met him and knew him and that I want to live my life .( I knew he will reply)so he did and said why dayana what have I done to u.snd no need to take things so seriously and to be cool.myvquestion is why isn’t he letting me go? Whenever I want him to reply me I tell him I’ll leave u behind and that I hate him and I want to forget him.he replies directly after.he doesn’t say no stay.but he talks in any different subject . Why is he doing that. Am really tired.

admin

January 27, 2014 at 7:20 pm

He isn’t letting you go b/c he probably feels he can lean on you when he needs to.

JUNE

January 26, 2014 at 12:37 pm

We were seeing each other for a year and stopped seeing each other 2 months ago. we were both going through so much personally & it was too much stress. I had a lost my job a few months earlier, my kids were going through some things, he was dealing with issues with his kids, health and finances & became so distant. FInally I told him that I could not take the distance and he explained that he had to get his life together . . that he didn’t want me to put my life on hold but that if it was meant to be, it would happen. I know they said sags take a while to become committed but I was also getting increasing insecure because though he didn’t date other women he was honest about still having conversations with them on this dating site. We were so close. It wasnt just sexual. He was really good with my kids – but I wasn’t feeling the dating website thing and sort of kept pushing. While he used to text me every day/talk every day – see each other like 3-4 times a week – he would come and hang out with my kids, they loved him! When stopped dealing with each other, we did not see one another at all, except there were 2 instances that we did sleep together. It was sort of like I miss you sex but he would go back to being distant. He would text me randomly that he missed me and my kids. . I tried the no contact thing that didn’t last too long. I was so in love with him – i think my head was not screwed on straight. I would text him and tell him i missed him or just to see how he was (because he was dealing with some health issues), sent him a playlist. . he would respond some of the time. I think I pushed too far, one night I text him when I was drunk and asked him if he was seeing someone and told him that i was thinking about him (so random right ?) Well I texted him to apologize for the drunk text and he text me “dont text me no more” I wanted to be angry – but i can understand why he might be annoyed or upset. I am 33 years old and have never felt this deeply about anyone . . He was the very first person that I introduced to my family. . I just don’t want this to be the end of our friendship – in the future I see us together but I am not sure if I’ve pushed him too far because I’ve been contacting him so much.
Martha rojaaas

January 25, 2014 at 8:20 am

I’m 25 years old and going through my first break up, he’s 23 . We dated for a year and 3 months , I met his family and he met mine, lately we would argue a lot so we decided to be friends but the day we decided to be friends he was crying saying he would always love me and be here for me that I deserved better and that he took me for granted , most of the arguing was because he rather spend more time with his friends and he wouldn’t make efforts that much for us to hang out or see each other ,so the next day he acted like the love was gone night to morning I kept asking him if we would ever get back he kept saying he didn’t know that he’s always gonna be there for me . Then he confessed he was tired of us arguing and that he was tired of my situation that since day one that we met he knew I was family oriented I live with my parents and I help my widowed sister with her 3 kids , apparently he got tired …he kept reminding me that we are just friends ..it’s been 4 days since that day and he keeps acting like if all his feelings are gone , the first 2 days I would ask him if we would ever get back together , then I stopped pressuring him and acted like just friends all through Fb messages , but he kept reminding me that we are just friends ..so I got mad and told him I understood that the first 2 times he said it , that if we can’t get along as friends that maybe we should just part our own ways and he said “no I still want you in my life” ..like I said he’s a lite immature …all this has me so confused ..help please !! Should I leave him alone ? Or keep in contact and leave the door of possibility open?? Also he messages me on Fb and I keep it short cuz he messages me but then replies when ever he wants …

admin

January 27, 2014 at 6:51 pm

Well, generally I would say do NC..

Jackie

January 25, 2014 at 1:18 am

Hi there. i’m in a very complicated position right now.. My ex broke up with me almost two months ago, we had been dating for about a year.. Well see during the past two months, I’ve done all the wrong things and kept in contact with him constantly, always questioning why we need to remain broken up and really I just kept pushing him further and further away.. But see when we would talk there would be points where everything was okay ad things seemed like maybe in the the near future we could try again, but then he’d say “i don’t want a relationship with you” considering our past I know why he’s so hesitant into trying things again with me, but I know he loves me and I know he doesn’t want to see me move on, and with that together in itself leaves me with hope to continue to try.. But then I feel petty and stupid for wanting to try if he doesn’t want me, but then again we have some amazing days together STILL.. The longest we’ve gone without speaking to each other was about four days, but I caved in and called and he cried and spilled out all his feelings, and then left me with even more hope, but only to end up saying it was a mistake to tell me what he felt..
I want to do the NC rule now.. But I fear it’s too late already considering the fact that I’ve made it very clear that I want him in smy life still. I mean we were together last night and of course I was there crying.. And he’s the type of guy who has a mind set that if I don’t talk to him or try then that means I’ve moved on and i’m happy and blah balh blah. So with his mind thinking that, he’s gonna go ahead and do his own thing to move on.. And he’s very stubborn so he won’t come and talk to me though I know he’s thinking about me.. The only reason why he doesn’t want me back is due to trust issues.. I just want him to miss me, but I don’t know how!:(
PLEASE SOMEONE HELP ME OUT HERE!

I love this immature boy to pieces and I’ve never been one to act like this.. I don’t want to lose him..

admin

January 27, 2014 at 6:41 pm

Have you read my guide about making a man trust you again?

Kimberly

January 24, 2014 at 5:55 am

Hello

My story is a little long.. my first love and I broke up in December of 2010. I took advantage of him greatly because we were both young (me – 15, him – 14) and inexperienced with serious relationships. We were together on/off for a little over a year. We have both matured in our own ways. I am now 20, my ex 18 soon to be 19. We were overly attached, and even after 3 years I’m not over him. I have put all of my time and energy into being nice to him since we broke up; however, since we broke up for the final time and didn’t get back together because he couldn’t handle losing me again, he told me to give him space. I didn’t respect his wishes and tried to text him all the time, talked about him constantly to both our friend groups seeking advice. For 2 1/2 years after the breakup, my ex refused to look at me when we’d see each other all the time in high school, dated one of my so-called “best” friends for 8 months only to spite me, but he never once ignored my text messages. Anytime I attempted to text, he would blow up on me, calling me out on either things I did wrong before or post breakup. I’d constantly be apologizing, but it was never good enough for him. His way of coping with the breakup involved him following me around on our way to classes and trying to dress exactly like my style and act like me in order to, it seemed, impress me. We have had a lot in common over the years, so getting space away from each other wasn’t easy by any means until after we stopped going to school together. Last summer, he graduated and I wrote him a card. He saw me a week after getting the card from his mother who still loves me but says that he still holds a grudge. We carried on a normal conversation and would run into each other frequently. We were getting along great and he started to seem really excited to see me. He was opening up a little more and being very nice; however, it made me remember how much he refused to acknowledge my presence after we broke up and how hurt I was from the way he chose to treat me for the next couple years, which made me text him a couple weeks after we started making small talk again, saying that I was so happy about us getting along really well again, but that I was still feeling very hurt from past events and wasn’t ready to be friends yet, that I never received an apology from him when I was always the one apologizing no matter what. He completely put his walls up, told me he owed me nothing, and we ended up blowing up on each other. It felt like we had broken up all over again and that the pain never left hardly at all on both sides. I called him out on things that I held back from saying for so long. Since then, any text I’ve sent trying to get past that not so fun conversation, he refuses to text me back at all costs. We saw each other recently (1 month ago) at a concert. He got really awkward, looked extremely pissed off to see me, and stormed out. It’s like he hates me all over again and he refuses to give me any sort of closure. I feel honestly that if we just started to hang out again, we would click perfectly like we did when we first met. I still feel very connected to him and if we tried to have a new relationship, it wouldn’t be anything like the old one. We now go to college 10 minutes away from each other in a city. It’s never been easy for him to make friends and I was excited for him to start going to college in the same area, had high hopes for him talking to me eventually since we know each other so well. At the end of 2013, I texted him one last time saying that I was basically done trying, that I “moved on” and that I was perfectly fine with not having him back in my life. No response, of course. And I haven’t tried texting him again since the beginning of December; however, at this point, I am desperate to get in touch with him, to have some sort of closure, and to at the very least be friends again. No one else has been able to give me good advice apparently. Is there anything I’m doing wrong? Is it even normal for him to hold a complete grudge against me when it’s been 3 years? Is there some sort of chance I have or approach that I can take that will effectively get him to start talking to me ever again? Or is this one of those cases where only much more time will get him to eventually reach out to me again? We used to get along so well despite the many breakups we had and I believe that he knows that we’d easily become close again if he just let a new friendship develop between us. I have too many questions that have not been answered very well. Please just help me understand why he still acts the way he does and how I can better my chances of us communicating in the future. Also, he has had me blocked since we broke up 3 years ago and has not unblocked me since. The first serious relationship I had after him was with this 25 year old who he went out of his way to be nice to (we were all involved in a play production 2 summers ago) but he was still refusing to have anything to do with me. This story is kind of all over, but so much time has passed and I need to sort out my issues WITH him in order to move forward with my life, but he sees me in person and treats me like a threat after all of this time. Please just help me understand and give me some insight here. It would be most greatly appreciated. Thank you.

admin

January 24, 2014 at 6:27 pm

What happened with your first serious relationship after?

joni

January 23, 2014 at 11:49 pm

After 1 week of the break up, I spent the 1st week doing what I shouldnt, asking him why and blah blah. Not toooo much tho. But after the 1st week I stopped texting him I haven’t heard from him either until today, its been 2 weeks now since the break up. a couple hrs ago he sent me a snap chat. My question is, can I/do I open the snap??? Or just ignore it?
Jordan

January 23, 2014 at 9:23 pm

hello, my ex and I have been together for almost a year we practically did everything together. His mom passed away a couple years ago and he always had problems with dealing with his grief and sometimes would push people away. Lately we would get in little arguements but it wasnt anything serious. Out of the blue he broke up with me saying that we fought to much and he needed to figure himself out. So two weeks after the breakup he really tried pushing me away saying we were going to work etc. About the third week he started to say I miss you and I love you and I want us to work out but I still need to figure myself out. I didnt really get what he had to figure out but I said I miss you too and I wanted to wait for him. We would hang out and everything seemed normal until we went back too school he wanted to meet new friends and such so the first few days of college he would ask me to hang out and stuff but as he started to make more friends he stopped texting me as much and was trying to make me jealous by texting me and saying he was hanging with his new friends they are were going out tonight and all this stuff. What should I do I still love him and want him back but he seems happy the way he is. I read some articles on on dealing with grief from losing a parent at a young age and alot of it related to our situation but how do I win him back. I figured if he loved me and wanted me back he would atleast try and text me and stuff but that doesnt seem to happy that often.
Keturah

January 22, 2014 at 4:59 pm

Hi Chris,
I need some advice. I am on day 26 of no contact with my ex boyfriend. I want to talk to him when no contact is over but over this period of time he got a new phone and i dont know his number. And even if he has my number he wont talk to me first because he thinks im mad at him. Well i wanna know how i can get his number without looking like im desperate to talk to him?
Srish

January 22, 2014 at 3:03 pm

Hey… My ex broke up with me 8 months ago without any reason and i can’t move on…. Bt he said clearly that he dont want any sort of contact….
Recently i have applied NC RULE of 45days and 3-4 days ago 1 of my friend told him that i m not well den on same day he called up my best friend and asked her whether i m fine or not but my friend told him that you should her directly but he said i can’t and wont talk to her… Now what should i do?

Srish

January 23, 2014 at 4:59 am

Hey please help me… I m very upset from past 8 months… I really need your advice…. What should i do… He is asking about me from my friends but not talking to me… I really want him back

Heather

January 22, 2014 at 6:20 am

Me and my recent ex broke up a few months ago. We broke up because we fought a lot and he also caught me talking to my ex from
My past. When he first found out he forgave me but, we continued to argue. After we broke up I continued to contact him. But he would give me one word answers or just be rude. It’s hard because he’s really good friends with my cousins boyfriend so, when they have a party or a get together we have to be around each other.recently this happend and we talked and he kissed me ( we were also drinking). Everything felt normal again. Then the next day it was like I didn’t even exsit. I tried one last time to talk to him but, he told me he doesn’t want a relationship right now. It’s been alittle
Over a week since I contacted him and, I don’t plan on it. I am just wondering if it is ever possible for him to make contact again if I back off
For awhile. Especially because he’s that type of guy when he’s done with something he’s done.

admin

January 22, 2014 at 6:06 pm

I think it can be possible for him to contact you again sure!

Sophia

January 22, 2014 at 12:23 am

I broke up with my boyfriend last month (6 months), but that night he contacted me and we were back after 2 days… Now, he told me we would go on a special trip last week (we dont meet much cause he´s always busy…) He was supposed to tell me which day we would go, but then last monday he says he will have a really busy week because of his family, and when i asked him if we were going to meet he just said he wasnt sure… The thing is last thursday he picked me and we went to his working place, had sort of like a date there, and i missed the bus to my place. When I told him i thought he would take me, he asked me to walk back to his working place and he would take me… I didnt, but i texted him to imagine i did and come to my place to meet me. He didnt reply anything and didn´t show up. His reply was until Sunday morning, saying: “The tickets are mine”. The plan was to go on his car so I was like “WTH?” and I haven´t replied anything to him since then. I guess I was expecting him to apologize or say something about not doing what he said he would and not replying my “needy” text…After reading your advice Im thinking I was too available for him, dating him when HE had time and HE wanted to see me… It´s been 5 days since I last texted him and 3 since his last text. Should I text him?? If so what should I say? Its been reeeeally hard for me not to text him but Im so hurt…
Keturah

January 21, 2014 at 10:00 pm

Hi Chris,
I am currently on day 25 of no contact and over this time period my ex got a new phone and i dont have his number. What is the best way to get the number when im done with no contact without looking desperate to talk to him?

admin

January 22, 2014 at 5:50 pm

Do you have his Facebook or Email?

Sarah

January 21, 2014 at 9:56 pm

what about if you and your ex broke up a while ago and you suddenly want him back but he has a girlfriend? And if you wanted to know it’s a girl he has been in a relationship with before but she cheated on him. Can you help?

admin

January 22, 2014 at 5:50 pm

I have written multiple guides on this actually. Have you read them?
Sarah

January 23, 2014 at 11:40 pm

I haven’t looked, I guess I’ll do that now then

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1,518 thoughts on “Making Your Ex Boyfriend Speak To You Again”