How To Get Your Ex Boyfriend To Speak To You- Get Him Talking Again

1,518 thoughts on “Making Your Ex Boyfriend Speak To You Again”

Kay

January 21, 2014 at 11:30 am

Hi. I was curious about what I should do if i sent that first confession text after the break up and came off as desperate, needy, and broken when my ex and i broke which was only a alil over a week ago now. He asked me for space i didn’t give it to him at first but i soon backed off a couple days later and i am now in the middle of the whole NC rule and giving him his space. But my question is how do i redeem myself after sending those messages of seeming desparate and him be the one to reach out to me. I am however not focusing on him, but myself, and feeling better about myself physically, mentally, and emotionally.

admin

January 21, 2014 at 6:13 pm

I would actually send the confession text ONLY if you think he won’t respond to a more neutral type of one.

Amanda

January 19, 2014 at 1:28 am

My ex and I broke up last December. He broke up with me 3 days after our one year anniversary and the day before my birthday. He did it throufh a text too. We had been fighting for 3 days before the breakup. Due to a snowstorm I hadn’t been able to see him on our anniversary. I made a joke to him saying that maybe we could spend the next one together since all of our monthly anniversaries we had something happen on that got in the way. We had been the best couple in our entire friend group. But last October he went to Pennsylvania to visit some friends. When he came back he started acting different. He skipped out on datesand even began talking to me less. I hardly saw him. Then one day he was normal again and was until our anniversary. After he broke up with me he wouldn’t talk to me at all. I tried talking to him for days. But he wouldn’t listen. He blocked me on facebook and his phone. What could’ve made him change so fast and how can I get him to even speak to me again? Its been over a month already.

NEERAJ

January 21, 2014 at 10:54 am

Hi Amanda,
After reading your post it seems that somehow your ex was really unhappy and would have been really missing you when he would like to see you around and you weren’t there! You mentioned that he broke up a day before your birthday, probably so you can understand how one feels missing someone they like on their special day too! There should be a sound understanding in every relationship. He should too have thought about you getting genuinely stuck in a snowstorm! Also you mentioned he blocked you on FB. Don’t worry he might need some time and he will definitely think about you for sure one day! Meanwhile all you can do is to let his any close friend know about the misunderstandings you guys got! Clarify those! Thereafter wait for some time! He would like to at least send a message from his side as well!
Hope it works out for you guys!

Regards
Neeraj
Amanda

January 22, 2014 at 1:29 am

He was the one who didn’t show up on our anniversary. If I am the only one working is it still worth it?

Mellisa

January 18, 2014 at 2:15 pm

I’ve visited this site a couple of times and finally I have the courage to post something. My ex and I broke up officially right in the beginning of November, we had been rocky and we both knew it. We kept seeing each other and finally in December he reached out to me after a couple of weeks of NC and invited me to coffee. We began to hang out a little more but things went back to the way they were and finally right before Christmas a little comment went a long way, and we both yelled we were “done” with each other. After our first break up, things didn’t really hit me so hard, I was working, in school, with friends, meeting new people and the NC happened naturally, I didn’t even realize how long we hadn’t spoken to each other. This time around it’s different, in the beginning I didn’t realize he was ignoring me till after 2 voicemails, and 4 missed calls he never returned it seemed clear he had no intention of calling me back. At that point I decided to not even dignify his behavior with a long text, or letter, or email, or voicemail. I decided to end this relationship on my end as well. But my anxiety is killing me, while I am not completely over him, I hope time will help. I know if he were to come back, right now I would be willing to work things out. But I need to know, is this time he needs? or he is completely over me here? How do I know he won’t contact me again just as I begin to forget about him? How do I prepare myself for that? Am I wasting my time preparing myself for that? By the way, yes, I am totally using this time to better improve myself, however, curiosity is right behind me here… Hope to hear from you soon. – Mel

admin

January 20, 2014 at 12:33 am

Courage is all it takes to get a response from me!

I think the real question you need to be worrying about is will you be able to successfully execute the steps needed to reattract him. I have a firm belief that exes can pull certain strings to make a guy go crazy. The question is, is the crazy a good crazy or a bad one.

Bailey

January 15, 2014 at 7:28 pm

My ex and I broke up in November. He broke up with me but he said he still wanted us to get back together. We fought a lot at the beginning but sometime in December he started say how much he missed me. We talked about once a week for 3 weeks and he was always so sweet. He got me a $200 gift card to a spa for Christmas. A few days after Christmas we hungout for the first time for a few hours, we slept together, talked for awhile. He said how much he wishes we could skip to being husband and wife, having kids, told me he loved me and that he wants us to move in potentially in a few months again. A few days later he changed. He said he needed to work on him without me in his life because I am a distraction and he has too many emotions and is too weak when it comes to me. I was really upset and confused so for the next few days I kept talking to him about it and he was getting meaner and meaner until he said that I had pushed him completely away and he would never think of us as romantically again. He said he didn’t want me to talk to him again and for us to go our separate ways.
Thoughts?
And yes, now we are going the NC Rule.

admin

January 16, 2014 at 5:34 pm

$200 spa day huh..

Pretty good gift!

Do you have any idea what could cause this sudden change in him?
Bailey

January 17, 2014 at 4:25 pm

He said he had an epiphany, an enlightenment and needed to work on him without me because I was a distraction. At the time he said he thought we would get back together but that we needed to cut ties for now. But since I got a wee too emotional and probably came off as desperate then he said he would never think of me romantically again.
What should I do or say? I will hear from in a week or two because he is going to drop off some of my things.

Kaylee

January 15, 2014 at 4:00 pm

Ok so what if he said he has moved on? And he told a friend he wasn’t interested anymore. We have been together or were together for 3 years. How is it so easy to just be over it. Do u think he really doesn’t care. Is iy still possible to get him back with NC? I hardly ever see him.
Lissa

January 14, 2014 at 8:35 am

I’m in my own predicament. He proposed to me on my birthday with a ring. Eight days later he moves out of state. The next day, he dumped me. We have stayed mostly in touch, and have been discussing the possibility of working things out. I sent him an e-mail telling of some gut feelings (he’s supposedly in a rebound relationship, but is flirting with other women, and is single all over the place). He neither confirmed nor denied anything, then started acting distant. Tonight I finally got him to reply to me by blowing up at him. He’s telling me to go away. This isn’t the first time since the breakup he’s told me this, and after giving him time to cool off (and apologizing for my behavior), we begin talking again. He has gotten two new numbers, and gave them both to me AFTER swearing I’d never get them. I also have his address (he has since moved to within 100 miles of me AFTER I said I was moving, and I am moving again soon as this was only temporary and plans fell through). He keeps telling me that he likes his job, that’s the only thing he would miss, he has a few legal things to take care of, but that in a few months he wants to move in with me and work things out. Then he blows up again tonight and tells me to leave him alone. I told him I would for tonight, but want to talk to him tomorrow. Going NC will NOT work, I attempted it before and he blew my phone and e-mail up begging me to talk to him, etc.

At this point, I will apologize tomorrow for getting angry, and explain that I was hurt that he wasn’t communicating with me the way we had agreed to. I am not expecting a reply, as he can go up to a week without replying (I know when he reads my e-mails). I also know he has an app on his phone and has my number blocked. He tends to unblock it to talk to me sometimes, so texting isn’t exactly a stable form of communication. He has me blocked on one of his Facebook accounts, but seems to know everything I’m doing (he has a second account there, plus an account on another site we both are on, and we still have mutual friends). He has admitted to checking me out a lot, or having friends do it for him. I haven’t blocked him anywhere so he can see what I’m doing. I’ve attempted to move on, talk to a few guys. Two of them he admitted to chasing off (they confirmed this). The rest suddenly stop talking to me even if I don’t mention my ex, which makes me think he’s chasing them off too, since others see me talking to and flirting with them.

At this point, I refuse to give up on him. It’s been a rough couple of months (he just past an anniversary date from when he was younger that has caused emotional trauma, and he withdraws from me every year, telling me to go away, leave him alone, etc.).

I’m going to e-mail him the apology tomorrow, but remain formal and polite. I am going to ask if he would like to talk, and assure him I will remain calm. If he doesn’t reply, I will cut communication attempts to once or twice per day (he checks his e-mail on his phone at work).

Oh… his “rebound girlfriend”? He REFUSES to talk about her. He’ll talk about other people, but if she’s brought up, he gets sad and upset and asks that we NOT talk about her AT ALL.

Any input?

admin

January 14, 2014 at 5:58 pm

Hmm… that is a weird thing about the rebound girl. Won’t even talk about her?

Lauren

January 13, 2014 at 12:51 am

hi Chris I bought the eBook…. the only communication I been having with him is through email… so instead of texting I’ve been doing emails I can’t get him to text me…. he had his number change but he has been responding to the emails and it is not negative responses but they are short responses… do you think he will ever give me his number or call me or text me?

Bassma

January 14, 2014 at 6:48 pm

i dont know why is my boyfriend ignoring me!! i feel like he doesnt care anymore recently, we were fine before but after a dispute betwen us i feel like he changes, i’ve told him about it, and he apolgized and promised me that he wouldn’t do it again, but after just almost three days, i feel he is far of me again, i tried to show that i feel upset about that, then we talked and he said that he doesnt feel happy because he too feel me far of him, and he doesnt feel happy in this relationship because all he can do is thinking of me, because we don’t meet always, because of my school and his work!! now we haven’t talked for a week, i really dont know what’s that!! and what’s happening, i dont know what’s the matter, So, please do you have any idea about this situation? i’m really dispointed and confused, what should i do???
admin

January 13, 2014 at 6:18 pm

Thanks for the purchase!

Yes… but you need to be patient and you need to be perceived as less threatening.

Kaylee

January 12, 2014 at 8:15 pm

What do I do if I am trying To get my ex back and he told a friend he blocked my number?! I am in NC obviously. I miss him so much. I have been focusing on myself and improving me, but how is he even going to see this? I feel like he doesn’t care

admin

January 13, 2014 at 6:16 pm

Glad you are focusing on YOU!

He will see it once you start communicating again, Via Facebook stalking and through mutual friends. BUT what is supposed to happen is it will make things much easier for you during communication with him.

Annette

January 10, 2014 at 8:11 pm

Heeeey 🙂 – Me and my boyfriend of 4 years broke up just recently on december 27 because he hurt me (he did not cheat on me but its something a guy shouldn’t do to a girl EVER) so the next day I called up my acqaintance from high school named micheal to see if he wanted to hang out with me on the 28 and I only chose to hang out with him because he’s not my type what soo ever soo we hung out and he paid for everything but I offered to pay for myself and he said “no when ur with me I got u and whatever u want to do we can do” so I was like that’s cool but the thing is that micheal actually does like me but I told him like “look ur just a friend I only wanted to hang out because I’m mad at my ex for what he done and I just needed to hang out with someone and honestly ur not even my type” but he said he was fine with it so I was just like cool u no…but anyways my ex ended up texting me that night like “text me back to let me no that ur safe” and “where r u people r asking for u” and then he asks me “would u tell me if u went on a date?” And I was still mad at what he did to me and first of all it WAS NOT A DATE but I told him “yeah I did go on a date and it was so much fun this and that” and he got mad and said “wooow bye don’t ever call me or text me or hang out with my family” and I told him that “if his family still wants to hang out with me then I’m not going to stop them” and he said “I can’t belive u we only broke up for a day and u don’t randomly just go out on a date like that it had to be planned that’s y u dumped me” and it was never a date u no like he hurt me physically so I wanted to hurt him mentally and so I actually told him like “look u can’t be doing what ur doing to me and expect me to sit at home and cry for u and in all honestly that was not a date I only went to hang out with a friend from high school (he usually
let’s me hang out with guys because he trusts me and I trust him type of thing) that guy doesn’t even compare to u like I still love u and I don’t. Want. Anyone else. I only want u” but he said “u hurt me and i t will never be the same because ur parents got involved and that he was tired of the same things” and I told him “a realtionship takes time of course we have our ups and downs but we can work on it” and he said “there shouldn’t be time it should just work out from once we got together and please stop texting me” and I replied Nfine I apologize for even trying I will leave u alone” well its been a week and he’s my first love my first u no and he’s the same way I’m his first love and his first well u no 😉 anyways he blocked me from instagram and facebook and kik and its the first he’s blocked me from anything….so I’ve been TRYING to leave him alone but its kind of hard because I’m REALLY close to his cousins and sisters so we still hang out and idk if he’s keeping tabs on me and what not…and when I try to talk about the situation with his sisters they just tell me ” u lost him and u hurt him so much just because u went to hang out with that guy and now he NEVER wants u back” and I just tell him “we do this all the time he will come back eventually” and they say “I don’t think so” so I’m wondering if he ever will forgive me for what I did once and yet I ALWAYS forgive him for what he does to me a bunch and now I’m trying to focus on me like working out and hanging out but its just hard because I only want him I don’t want anyone else I’m only comfortable with him and I’ve never fuked anyone else besides him but idk I just want to no if this guidance will actually work
Sincerely,
In deep shit aka annette 🙂
Haley

January 10, 2014 at 7:55 am

Ok so I’m currently a week into no contact. The thing is I’m at school two states away from my ex. I’m in WA and he’s in CA. How do I go about reestablishing a connection when the possibility of getting together again would have to be long distance? We started out long distance and he basically broke up with me over Christmas break (well I had to break up with him cause he wouldn’t tell me he wanted to break up but I could tell). Anyway its all a mess and he doesn’t know what he wants in life right now and admitted to not trying when I got back and I have no idea what’s going on seeing as how he said he wanted to get married 3 months in and he said I love you and I’m in love with you first. Ughhhh that’s a lot but I hope that you can help me out.

admin

January 11, 2014 at 1:46 am

Have you read this: https://www.exboyfriendrecovery.com/the-complete-guide-to-getting-an-ex-boyfriend-back-in-a-long-distance-relationship/

Lauren

January 9, 2014 at 1:31 am

I did the no contact rule for one month… he had his phone number changed because he was on my phone plan and he got off… I ended up running into him at his cousins house… I can only email him… but he doesn’t seem like he’s very interested.. he does reply but it is very short… I just tried to email him I have a confession to make… now what
Mockka2287

January 8, 2014 at 4:08 pm

This was an excellent article! 🙂 my situation is similar, needless to say my ex and I are on speaking terms. We broke up because I wasn’t honest w/him about me taking a break from school. He didn’t talk to me for two weeks. I want to say by the 3rd week he started to come around but never addressed the issue, I was infuriated and told him about his punitive ways (when he’s upset with me)…I honestly believe the words cut so deep that he had wished I reached back out to him…I did. And he was extremely open to us having communication while we are apart.

Now I’m not sure if I’ve set myself up for failure or not but I am remaining in control and am ensuring that I remain attractive. I would love advice on how I can get him back & keep his focus on me? I know he wants to really see if I’m going to accomplish my goals w/school as he wanted to get engaged really soon (he was due to prose this past Christmas; I was told) I do love him and have for the past 2 years. How can I keep things positive and heading in the right direction to getting him back?

THANK YOU! 🙂
h

January 8, 2014 at 10:19 am

hi. u doing a great job… I am in love with a person.he wants to focus on his career thats wt he say.. we broke up 6 months ago..and I want him back he also says I dint give him space.. and always doubted never trusted him and now..he has blocked me everywhere… fb whatsapp.. because he says..I text him lot and he will text me.. after college.. how will I get him back…. I want him…
TJ

January 6, 2014 at 5:28 pm

So its been nearly a year since things ended with us and i’ve tried a number of things to get him back with mixed results. I always manage to get him to open up to me and then when were texting regularly again and things are going great he’ll suddeny deside that its wrong and he dosen’t want to get my hopes up and then suddenly stop texting me again. After 11 months of this i decided i needed to take action and i started No contact wanting to do 30 days, i’ve been working out more and i saw him at a christmas party where i wore his favourtie colour on me and i looked amazing, everyone commented on how great i loooked. A couple of days later i planned to drop off a Thank you present for him, i’d made it, it was a drawn of his favoutie comic book hero he’d seen it when i’d done it for my little brothr so i thought it would be nice. I’d been let go from work and he’d been so supportive and i just wannted to show he i’d noticed. A mutuel friend told him and he frecked out, he sent me a text saying how he didn’t want to see me, don’t want me to go to his work, didn’t want to talk to me and he told the same friend to tell me that he didn’t know what is wrong with him but he dosen’t want to be in a realtionship with anyone even me. I was hurt, angry and so upset that i broke my no contact and text him explain i just wanted to say thank you and when he didn’t respond so i sent another one later on saying how he didn’t deserve me and i’m not talking to him when he’s been like that he’s acting like on of his friends who he better then. I started no contact again and i’m just wondering if you think maybe i runied it with my last text. Its been two and half weeks sine i started no contact again and he’s not sent any message is this a good sign or a bad one? i don’t really want to ignore him when he texts me but its nice to know he’s thinking of me
Candie

January 3, 2014 at 2:22 am

What does one do in the case where neither of us have phones and he has me blocked on Facebook. I am finding it very difficult to re-establish communication because of this.

admin

January 3, 2014 at 7:56 pm

Hmmm email?

Sarah

December 30, 2013 at 3:42 pm

Hi Chris,

I have written in the pAst on a message board on this website. My ex broke up with me 4.5 weeks ago and it’s been just over 2 weeks since I last saw/spoke to him. He broke up with me when I was back in Australia on holiday. He lives In Germany and I moved to Germany this time last year to be with him after an on/off long distance relationship.

Needless to say, he broke up with me when I was home in Australia over the phone, only 2 weeks before I was due to return to Germany. He had only seen and been with me in Australia 6 weeks prior and everything was great. The breakup came out of the blue, he said he had lost feelings for me and didn’t see a future with me. I ended up coming back to germany as planned that we could talk face to face & basically he told me the same things. When we met things got out of hand, I got very emotional, he got very angry and his family, friends got involved. He told me he wants nothing to do with me & he has since blocked my number & deleted me off facebook.

It’s been 2 weeks or no contact. I am still living in Germany as my visa is valid till March. I’ve noticed everyday he deletes a picture of us together on facebook. He hasn’t deleted them all at once but will delete them every few days…

I do want him back.
What does it mean if he is trying to delete all forms that we existed in a relationship and how do I even begin to contact him after the no contact period if he said he doesn’t want to see me ever again or be my friend….?
Jessica

December 29, 2013 at 4:20 pm

Hello!

I was dating a guy for a year and the last time we talked, I sent an emotional text and he didn’t reply. Then I apologized the next day for how I chose to go about the situation. Anyways that was about 3 weeks ago and on Friday night he texted me starting off with something clever to try and make me laugh (he always does this when he knows there is tension between us). He sent me some more texts, even 2 funny cute pictures he knew I would like. He ends his flood of texts with “trying to say hi. So hi.” I never replied so the next morning he texts me again and says I haven’t replied and asked if I blocked his number and I didn’t respond at all.

Do you think he’ll attempt to contact me again? Or if he’ll just forget it since he might think I blocked him? Should I wait for another attempt or text him after a certain amount of time? If so, how long?

Lissa

January 14, 2014 at 8:23 am

Jessica,

I’m not a relationship expert, I’m here seeking advice myself. But in your case, I would text him back, tell him you’ve been busy but DON’T say what you’ve been doing. Tell him you got his texts, and thank him for the pictures. Be brief and slightly friendly, but not cold or distant. See what happens. But if he texts, don’t reply right away. Make him wait. The suspense will kill him (so to speak), and he will start chasing you, as you’ve already seen.
admin

January 14, 2014 at 5:58 pm

Hahaha I hate it when women do this b/c you are spot on… I start chasing.

Nina

December 29, 2013 at 5:18 am

I’m getting mixed signals – of we are single but not available. You broke my trust, I still love you. You the best thing that happened to me. I want to move somewhere else, its gonna take a while, is it ok I can still live with you in the house? I don’t want to leave a comment, I need advice asap
Brooke

December 28, 2013 at 5:29 am

Hello- my ex and I have been together on and off for over 2 years. He has broken up with me randomly…it’s like a pattern. We do good for a while then he gets distant…starts ignoring me…then he wants space or dumps me. It has never lasted more than a week. I am seeing I get anxious and jealous as he talks to a lot of girls and he enjoys attention. We livd 5 hours apart so it’s not often we see each other and when he ignores me the insecurities just build. Well…this time last week he suddenly got distant…he had his little sister coming in town for Christmas…but not till later that night . I asked him if we were ok and he didn’t reply. For a couple days I would only get short rude responses and Sunday nothing at all. Monday I sent him an email saying I understood he had family but I felt disregarded and unimportant and didn’t understand why he was ignoring me again for days. I saw that he read the email on FB but no response. I texted him later upset asking what was going on and he replied with “I don’t want to be with you” I asked “why” and he said “I can’t. You’re too stressful” so I left it. I deleted FB for now so I’m not tempted to spy on him. Deleted snap chat so I don’t look to see who he sends pictures with. I kept Instagram up but the two days after he dumped me which was Christmas Eve and Christmas all he did was post happy pictures constantly. So the next day I saw him posting more and I reluctantly made the decision to unfollow him…which maybe upset him because he unfollowed me. This is day 4 of no contact. Because he unfollowed me on Instagram as well do you think that I pushed him away further? He now has no way if seeing anything I do or changes I make. I’m also concerned that within the 30 days if he does contact me and I ignore him completely that it will upset him and ruin my chances. What are your thoughts?
Nicole

December 28, 2013 at 12:32 am

I went two months without talking to my ex. I finally texted him today, but he said he was busy. He never text back to me. What does that mean? I feel confused…

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1,518 thoughts on “Making Your Ex Boyfriend Speak To You Again”