How To Get Your Ex Boyfriend To Speak To You- Get Him Talking Again

1,518 thoughts on “Making Your Ex Boyfriend Speak To You Again”

Ally

October 17, 2013 at 3:08 am

Hi Chris,

I REALLY need some insight. My ex and I broke up about a month ago, for the second time. The first time we broke up was unexpected. We had been dating for about 1 year and he cheated on me and decided he needed to do his own thing and make sure I was really “the one.” He had talked about plans of the future and marriage with me and always told me I was the love of his life and how I had everything he could ever want in a girl. BUT we broke up. We spent 2 months apart (some on and off contact through texting) and then he contacted me saying he had made the biggest mistake of his life by breaking up with me and he had no doubts about being with me now. So I forgave him and we got back together. We were back together for about 5 months. I recently moved away a couple months ago (temporary move-only 1 year) and I am now about 4 hours away from him. So about a month ago, I just noticed he wasn’t treating me the same way. Communication was really all we had being 4 hours away from each other. He never called me to talk on the phone–if he did, it’s because I asked him a million times. He never wanted to facetime, always saying it was too late or he was too busy. The only communication we had was texting, and even that was seldom. So, he broke up with me again saying he just couldn’t commit fully to me and that we needed to grow and mature on our own. He was very mean about the way he handled it, he ignored me and wouldn’t really talk about it. So I let him be. But for the past couple of weeks we have been in contact, texting about things. He said he missed me and loved me but that we just needed to be apart right now and that he just needed to figure out what he wanted and needed for sure (once again). But here’s the catch–this past week he starts to seriously ignore me and tells me to leave him alone and stop talking to him. He said “I do not want you. I do not care anymore. We are done forever. This is goodbye. Forever. Move on. It’s over. Get that through your head.” I sent him an email the next night (since he blocked my number) apologizing for texting him too much but I hope he didn’t mean what he said–still no response, and this was a few days ago. Needless to say, I am still harping on those words. I’m so confused as to how he could say those things to me. I’m wondering if he really meant what he said. We had such a great relationship. We were so happy together and everything just felt so right. He has hurt me a lot, but I’ve forgiven him and I’ve tried so hard to make things work. I have fought so hard. But I just don’t understand why he would say that to me unless he really meant it. I’m not upset because I feel like I can’t live without him. I know I don’t need him and he honestly doesn’t deserve all the love I’ve given him. But I do care about him and our relationship meant a lot to me. So it’s hard to hear someone say they love you and want a future with you one day and then a week later tell you they are done with you forever…

Can you please tell me what you think? I’m really hurt and confused right now. Any insight would mean so much.

admin

October 17, 2013 at 6:03 pm

Yea I hear this kind of stuff so much and it really sucks.

Have you started NC yet?
Ally

October 18, 2013 at 12:47 am

Yes for a few days now. I just really don’t get how he can tell me to move on and it’s over forever… I don’t get it at all. He’s already broken up with me once and came back to me saying it was a mistake and I was the one for sure. And now AGAIN???

What do you think?
admin

October 18, 2013 at 6:42 pm

Well, history is in your favor. You broke up and got together.

I think he was just upset and saying hurtful things. One day he will wake up, realize his mistake, and it will be that day that you have the power.
Ally

October 20, 2013 at 9:06 pm

What do you mean by that? Just not talking to him and moving on?
admin

October 22, 2013 at 12:50 am

Yes…
Ally

October 20, 2013 at 2:24 am

I just don’t feel like he would tell me to move on if he didn’t really mean it. I never imagined him saying that to me.
admin

October 20, 2013 at 8:51 pm

You may be right and you may be wrong. He only knows the truth. One thing I do know about men is that their minds can change on a dime. So, when things seem bleak you can do something that ups your value in his eyes.
Ally

October 18, 2013 at 9:51 pm

But do you honestly think he will come back again? I’m just so confused as to why he’s doing this again.

How long do you think it will take before he wakes up? I hope if he does come back, he has himself figured out this time. I don’t know how long I should stay NC, but I’m just so hurt and I don’t get why he would say it’s over forever.
admin

October 19, 2013 at 8:09 pm

I wish I could give you a definitive answer but I can’t I don’t want to get your hopes up or get you over excited.

Generally speaking though, it is easier to get an ex back if you have gotten him back before.

suzy

October 16, 2013 at 5:11 pm

So.. hi I’m in a dilemma here so please help me.. my bf break up with me and its been a week I haven’t contacted him and yesterday he text me and I didn’t reply. Bur today I missed his voice so I called him using house phone which I doubt he knows but I didn’t talk to him.. when he said hello twice I hang up.. then he returned the call and I got panic and I hang up the call.. honestly speaking we didn’t break up in a bad way.. of course I end up crying but we ended peacefully but deep down I still love him so much and he said that he still.wants to be friends bur you know how girls are.. a bit emotional after break up so I said to him that I might not contacted him for several months.. at least after I heal.. but then I broke the rule and
contacted him but I don’t think he knows that is me.. please guide me on how to get my ex back..

admin

October 17, 2013 at 2:45 am

Well, you need to actually complete the NC rule hahaha.
suzy

October 31, 2013 at 4:14 am

My. 30 days is almost up.. another. 5 more days to go.. next step is giving a text.. should I say hi? He text me once.but never call me at all.. I don’t know how to start contact…. 🙁
admin

October 31, 2013 at 7:42 pm

No just don’t send hi. You need a text with a lot more substance than that.
suzy

November 6, 2013 at 7:52 am

Well what if I send him a text “hi how are you.. well you left your things here with me.. do you still want it?” Is that good enough?
admin

November 6, 2013 at 5:38 pm

I think so.
suzy

November 9, 2013 at 9:38 am

I text him yesterday.. but he didn’t even reply 🙁 .. we didn’t break up in a bad way and his the one who insist keep in touch thing.. so why hasn’t he reply my text.. btw my text is harmless.. just a friendly hi and ask how his doing.. is that bad?
admin

November 10, 2013 at 1:02 am

Generally you want something with more substance.
suzy

November 10, 2013 at 7:54 am

Sooo.. is that mean I blew it? Damn it
suzy

December 16, 2013 at 5:37 am

So next as usual I miscall him and he text me “why did u call? I was doing my assignments” so I reply “honestly I just want to ask you a question but since u’re busy I’ll just ask later” then he reply “that’s okay I have time” then I reply “its okay I will ask later.. then he replt “okay.. if you have anything to tell.. just tell okay” then I said “okay”.. do I have to wait before I give next move? Or should I confessed straight away?? Help…
suzy

December 12, 2013 at 2:52 am

Omg! My ex finally reply my text after several of months and it took me like 3 messages and 2 miscalls.. and I miscall him yesterday at 1.10 am and a minute later he text me ” why did you call? Sorry I was sleeping” so I reply “its nothing.. its getting late.. goodnight :)” and he reply “erm.. okay.. goodnitee :)”.. is that a good sign? Do I still got the chance? what should I do next?
admin

December 12, 2013 at 7:06 pm

Haha I think its a good sign.
admin

November 10, 2013 at 9:58 pm

No you just have some work to do is all.

sarah

October 16, 2013 at 8:01 am

he texted me a week ago to not text him or call him not even try to get back to him . he said he is done with me .we brokeup last year too but it was only for one month . but this time its been since september 27 i havnt seen him and just texting back and forth fighting. what should i do ? without any reason he brokeup because he is insecure and has trust issues but i never cheated on i loved him and love him.
sarah

October 15, 2013 at 6:54 am

my bf brokeup with me a month ago and he texted me to not even try to contact him or text him he said he is not gona get back to me never … and i just checked his fbook that he changed his status to single … what should i do plzzz tell me.

sarah

October 16, 2013 at 3:02 pm

plzzzz help me how to get back to my bf
admin

October 17, 2013 at 2:17 am

Ok! haha. Best thing you can do right now is devour this site. It can do more for you than anything. Or grab the ebook and then ask me specific questions. One at a time. That is how I can be most effective for you.
admin

October 16, 2013 at 1:55 am

Are you in NC?
sarah

October 16, 2013 at 6:42 pm

yeah I did the NC
sarah

October 16, 2013 at 7:57 am

no i live in cali

Kristina

October 11, 2013 at 12:17 pm

I just realized day 29 of NC happens to be the day of a football game he boughts me tickets for and told me to keep after the breakup. Im a huge Raiders fan and it’s almost impossible to see them here on the East Coast so theyre playing his Giants. Even though it’s a day early, is that agood time to send him an enticing text; we always joked about sports? And if so should I do it via text or facebook– with iOS7 you can’t be sure if you’ve been blocked or not

admin

October 11, 2013 at 6:29 pm

Well, are you saying you two are still supposed to go see the game?

Maybe you can end NC early.

anne

October 10, 2013 at 8:55 am

Hi chris, im loosing hope 🙁 i txted him again earlier bec i remembered him with the movie we’ve watched. No reply.. probably bec i messed up with my confession txt or he’s no longer interested with me 🙁

admin

October 10, 2013 at 6:38 pm

Just wait a bit before you reach out to him again.

jenn w

October 7, 2013 at 2:18 am

So my ex and I broke up a week ago after living together over the past year.I came home and his stuff was gone tried texting several times and when he finally answered he said he was just not happy and needed his space and I wud be happier with someonr more finacially stable.He has some of my things and I his said we wud talk the next day and has ignored me since. I did the wrong thing like I shudnt and called and text now thru anaquantance he said i am a stalker.i have n havent since that was a wrr K ago I know he still loves me but tells her I was to controlling I still love him and want to t ry to repair this but hes been on dating sites and said he was gonna talk to me but still hasnt what do I do please help

admin

October 7, 2013 at 11:32 pm

Have you done any type of NC yet?
Terry W

October 8, 2013 at 3:43 pm

Well I havent done any contact for a week now except one simple text to not trying to be a pest but cud we set up a way to get our things back and thanks, one text and nothing more. I am doing the gym and working on me and understand what I need to work on, so what do I do now I am doing the NC rule and trying to branch out and do things and such but why wouldnt he just give me my things then back to be done with me or is there a reason? Please help! thank you again
Terry W

October 23, 2013 at 4:40 pm

Also he told people he just said and agreed with the marriage thing to get me to shut up about it god I hate learning things it sucks so that being said i still love him and he is already sleeping with his piece of ass and trying to date but just wants to date aand have options but note be in a relationship feels like he is just trying to have that single life he never really had so do u think anything will get him to rekindle if not let me know thanks btw love Buffy and walking dead, and I am doing great on me down 20 pounds and back to school just cant help who we love lol
Terry W

October 30, 2013 at 5:50 pm

So I have thought long and hard and I want to see if it can be salvaged we havent spoken in 5 weeks I did the stuppid stuff the first week and then other than occasional text because we have things of each others we have not spoken everytime I try to set up a day he will say yes then text and say he had to work whick he does work alot or wont respond, what shud I do now any help would be great.
Terry W

October 31, 2013 at 2:35 pm

do you think u could help me with that as cant think of anything that would trigger a response he was a very quiet person when it comes to emotions and he has a daughter thats the only thing not sure what could trigger it just dont think he cares would time make things better just dont know how u change a persons thought about u after u lived together for a year, I mean just seems like all I hear is totally not the person I knew so how do u tell which was who they really are, any help would be great. Thanks!
admin

October 31, 2013 at 8:13 pm

Any text you send him has to be really interesting but not super emotional. You know him best what are some of the things he likes?
Terry W

November 4, 2013 at 5:38 pm

not sure that will do it has to be something good and not really an emotions kinda guy so dont think that will work not really sure what to do just think he is telling his friends crap to make himself look like he didnt do anything wrong and just wants to supposidely date but not be in any relationships so what do I do, is there no hope just so lost still doing me but dont know how to make it stop hurting, like it meant nothing yanno. Help please.
jenn w

December 1, 2013 at 1:20 am

So we finally saw each other for first time in 2 months when he came to get his things and we talked for like an hour hes moving for at least 6 months for his job to arizona so after he left I texted him was nice seeing him and miased talking to him he text me back saying it was then said maybe we shud do dinner and movie before he leaves and I agreed btw thats what we did on our date night so we have been texting and he teasing said I cud come use the pool at his new place in arizona and I said maybe if I grt time I will come visit and he said sure so my question is what do u think does. He still like me and have a chance and what shud I do to keep uim interested while hes gone
Jenn w

December 4, 2013 at 5:45 pm

ok have posted same comment about my ex going away 3 times and it appears on here but you said you couldnt find it he finally came and got his things and asked me out this weekend for dinner and a movie whivh is what we did for our date nigh when we were together. Hes moving away for work for at least 6 months but when we saw each other for 2nd time yesterday said hes getting cold feet and not sure if hes gonna go now, so when he left he gave me a hug and kiss on my cheek but was awkward like he wanted more but wasnt sure what to do and my son was there. So we are going out this sat so what are you thoughts and opinion I think he wants more but not sure.any thought please
jenn w

December 2, 2013 at 1:29 am

So have sent the same response twice and it shows but u havent replied please look at my last 2 talks about seeing each other for the first time after 2 months apart and him asking me out to dinner and movie before he leaves for 6 months to arizona for work let me know after u read ur thoughts thanks
Terry W

November 5, 2013 at 6:32 pm

also text had a confession he answered with in 30 minutes I waited the hour and we texted few times he actually told me what his issues were and then said he was staying single from now on with lol at the end so what do u think now what?
jenn w

November 29, 2013 at 6:28 am

Ok so u never answer my last post can u please read and let me know thanks its the one about seeing each other for first time after 2 months
admin

November 30, 2013 at 4:17 am

I can’t find it?
jenn w

November 28, 2013 at 1:38 am

Ok so we finally saw each other after 2 months first since he left have been texting but nothing to deep he came to my new place to get his stuff we talked for an hour nothing to emotional see hes going to arizona for 6 months at least for work with maybe perm depends so after he left I sent text saying was nice seeing him and missed talking with him then he sent text saying was nice seeing me and maybe we shud go out for dinber and movie one night before he leaves dec 13 so I sent text saying wud be fun just let me know cause his sced is crazy and he text back ok maybe this weekend if im free so want ur thoughts on do u think he still has feelings for me and cud I still have chance with him leaving btw dinner and movies is what we did every week for our date night lol let me know please
Jenn w

November 12, 2013 at 2:38 pm

We kinda talked about why we split and about our new places and he teasingly said we will have to go out for that drink someday lol so not sure how to pull him in as far as the meaningful conversations,thanks for everything.
Jenn w

November 11, 2013 at 9:07 pm

Meaningful convos such as what?
admin

November 12, 2013 at 6:41 pm

Like more in-depth conversations other than just talking about random stuff.
Jenn w

November 11, 2013 at 1:44 pm

So we have had 3 small convos anout his new job, things we both liked and life in general where we went back and forth, and one conversation he made the comment se I told you u would be better off without me, and I made the comment not better apart just realized what needed to be worked on, he actually responds to me now where as before he didnt, I have ended the convo all 3 times so how long do we do this dance and what do u think
admin

November 11, 2013 at 6:55 pm

Try having more meaningful conversations now. See if you can hook him in.
Jenn w

November 8, 2013 at 5:03 pm

Also I have my things he still has to get his and today wished him good luck at his new jon and did the no pressure texts a few times this morning so how do you figure out text with substance and proper block texting to get the reconnect thanks again your great hope your gf knows what a doll she has,lol
admin

November 8, 2013 at 7:19 pm

Hahaha the best way I have found is to put yourself in HIS shoes. Find out what fills him up with happiness about you.
Jenn w

November 7, 2013 at 5:26 pm

Ok well he text me this am saying where my things are and I can go get them and he will have to get his when I move, and then small talk bout his new job tomorrow and raining where he works. So what would be my next step to work on getting him back I mean am willing to do what is needed for however long is needed just looking for some male insight, thanks
admin

November 8, 2013 at 5:38 pm

How did the conversation go? Who ended it ?
Terry W

November 6, 2013 at 5:37 pm

ok so what do I do now just kinda went there but I stopped it when it seemed was going there still hasnt given me my things think he is waiting for me to move in 2 weeks when I get my new place, so what do I do now, is there a way to salvage it?
admin

November 7, 2013 at 5:04 pm

Well first things first I think you should get your things
admin

November 6, 2013 at 4:39 pm

I think you shouldn’t have engaged him in that emotional a conversation this early.
admin

October 30, 2013 at 10:01 pm

GREAT!

I think now you should start thinking of intriguing texts to send him once you are ready.
Terry W

October 28, 2013 at 6:16 pm

So We have stuff that belongs to each other and for the past month he wouldnt respond at all now he is responding but keeps pushing of the day he has to see me finally saying he has work which he does work alot. When we do finally see each other I know no emotions be confident and no pressure so tell me do I ask him face to face what happened since he just walked out or wait and see how he responds to me in person first. I truelly love him and although he was an ass would like to see if I can salvage things,? what r your thoughts on this. Do you think there is a chance . I told him he needs his stuff cause I am getting a new place in 2 weeks and he had his cousin ask my sister if I was really moving what do u think that means.Any help would be great.
admin

October 29, 2013 at 2:47 am

I think there is a chance BUT if you are doubthing that you want him back I say don’t go for it b/c you need to be sure about this.
admin

October 23, 2013 at 10:29 pm

Ah Buffy. When I wrote that article (where I talked about the buffy phenomenon.) I had just started rewatching all the seasons. I was on season 2 I believe and now I am on season 6. I just want to rush so I can get to the musical episode and then dark willow!

Glad you are losing the weight and feeling more confident about yourself.

Just keep on keeping on.
admin

October 9, 2013 at 2:16 am

Definitely do the NC rule. And complete it.

Men aren’t like women. they think very very differently about situations.
Terry W

October 22, 2013 at 11:38 am

no they never dated she has been married 18 years and she cheats with my ex when my ex is single, he finally responded to my text yesterday as we have things that belong to each other because we lived together he said he would meet up with me this week so I can get my things, I know no emotional, keep it casual and no talking about the breakup so what do u think is there hope
admin

October 23, 2013 at 7:45 pm

Yea there is hope but I can’t help but wonder if he is even worth it?
Terry W

October 21, 2013 at 1:43 pm

So I was wondering I know he has this friend who is married and when he is single and needs sex they get together for last 28 years on and off, so I was wondering does this really mean I have no hope he is working alot and he really says I was too controlling Please help me I still love him and fri will be a month apart he still doesnt speak to me but my sister and his cousin date so she knows they have talked about me and his cousin is younger and fills his head with lies about me, please help me I have learned what my issues are and have corrected them since he couldnt just talk to me and explain these issues in a real way, do you really think there is no hope.
admin

October 22, 2013 at 1:58 am

Your ex gets together with his ex? Is that what you are saying?
jenn w

October 14, 2013 at 11:30 pm

So im learning thru friends he says just wants to be single and do his own thing and never be married see he was in a very long bad marriage and really hasnt hD much single time since the divorce 3 years ago but I know I have been the longest and living together relationship since her so truely does it s o und like theres hope he has never gone back with anyone before and wont respond to my text to try and get my things back I mean be honest do u really think it sounds like I cud ever get him back or no way be honest please
admin

October 16, 2013 at 1:23 am

Guess he is scared from women for a while.

At this piont I would say it is probably unlikely BUT his mind will change a few years down the road but you are too good to wait around. I say move on but keep him in your thoughts.
Terry W

October 11, 2013 at 1:46 pm

yes dating sites sorry, so what do you think?
Terry W

October 10, 2013 at 2:44 pm

ok thanks I will continue the NC rule and working on me also friends told me to try those sites so I did and got asked out on a date I think I will go just for the heck of it cant hurt to see whats out there I guess lol
admin

October 10, 2013 at 6:51 pm

You mean dating sites?
Terry W

October 9, 2013 at 1:00 pm

So do you think I have hope I mean hes already on dating websites and stuff or should I give it up,lol I love him very much and I know we were happy together if he would have just sat down with me and had a true discussion about his concerns and allowed me to talk in return we wouldnt be in this place.Thanks for your thoughts hes just not much of a talker about his feelings and stuff I mean we would talk about future plans marriage and stuff and then he tells friends I was rushing him into marriage, just dont get it, thanks again
admin

October 10, 2013 at 1:25 am

It is a pretty common thing I see (exes going on dating websites.) So, I wouldn’t let it throw you too much.

I think you do have hope!

Liezl

October 3, 2013 at 9:04 am

Nice!!
Elizabeth

October 1, 2013 at 5:52 pm

My boyfriend and I broke up 2 weeka ago. We were on a break for about a week before that and I had only been back for about two weeks when we went on a break. What happened was I was gone all summee for a job and I felt independent and good after coming back and scared of how dependent and long I had been with my bf (4 years). Instead of realizing I needed to make more time for myself I thought I needed to break up with him or take a break. This was haunting me for the two weeks I was back and so I was rather distant and cold while I was back. I eventually talked to him and HE decided we should go on a break. As soon as we started our break I realized how much I needed to work on for myself and how I was putting him through not the best relationship. I was needy, insecure, and critical and the last two weeks I was probably even worse. I feel awful for this. We met up a week after the break and he thought it would be best to end things. He was crying and said he would always love me and wanted to remain friends, he was just scared and confused he said. He told me he thought we just needed time apart. I havent talked to him since we broke up (14 days ago). it has been so freaking hard to not contact him. I have days where im an emotional mess and days where I feel great and can see myself moving on and surviving without him. Ive thought about the things that bothered me about him and what it would really be like to be back with him, the good and the bad. I think despite all that I still want to give it another shot. I feel like I was unintentionally playing games with him because I had my own shit to deal with. That’s not fair.
Does it sound like I have a chance? When we do talk again how much should I bring up old issues or should I just act like nothing happened and be happy go lucky?

admin

October 2, 2013 at 12:53 am

I think you have a shot but as long as you do some serious soul searching. Playing games in a relationship is never a good recipe for success.
Elizabeth

October 3, 2013 at 7:32 pm

Thank you! A friend saw him and he said he wanted to talk to me but he isn’t ready yet. I feel the same and i’m glad we’re both having a hard time with this. I’m scared that he had given up on me and is over it. I’ll try your techniques when my NC time is over and hope for the best. Right now i’m just working on preparing myself for the worst and hoping for the best.
Thanks again.
admin

October 4, 2013 at 1:15 am

Thats a smart approach I think.
elizabeth

October 17, 2013 at 1:28 am

First off Chris I just want to say thank you for answering all my pathetic silly questions as well as all the others on here as well. It is quite amazing that you follow up with everyone! Thank you!!

I have a couple days left on my NC time and I have been thinking of how to go about my entrance into the contact phase of things. I have been feeling really great about myself and can honestly see myself without him and I know things will be fine. However I still want that chance with him. I feel like I can see my mistakes clearer than ever and I can also clearly think about the things he did that bothered me and despite all that I still wanna give it another go.
Should I wait a bit longer than 30 days to contact him? I feel like he has lost interest in me at this point and would rather not see me to make it easier on himself to move on, it sounds like he has taken things pretty hard. But I guess I don’t know that until I talk to him…
I have another question about your text advice. It seems that the “first contact” text and the “remembering the good times” texts are both about old memories. I feel a bit awkward sending him multiple texts that say, “remember when…blah blah blah” or some variation of that. Won’t it be a bit weird if I send him messages that are constantly talking about the happy times of our past? Shouldn’t I mix it up a bit?
Anyway, I don’t want to go on for too long but just wondering about your opinion on this stuff.
Thanks again!! 😀
admin

October 17, 2013 at 6:02 pm

I do my best to follow up with everyone.

What do you think? You have a better guage than I do. Do you think you need to wait longer than 30 days.

You can always generalize the text message to be less “memory based.”
elizabeth

October 13, 2013 at 10:50 pm

I ended up calling him back this morning but didn’t leave a message since he didn’t leave me a message for me either. I think you are right that I shouldn’t have contacted him. I’m thinking I will just wait for another week and see if he contacts me. If he doesn’t I may finally start contacting him with your text suggestions.

Why would he call me and not leave a freaking message? Is he an idiot or just nervous?
admin

October 15, 2013 at 1:31 am

Nerves are a very real thing. Never underestimate them.
elizabeth

October 13, 2013 at 8:22 am

My ex contacted me tonight!! I am on day 24 of no contact. I was hoping this would happen. It hasn’t been 30 days yet, should I call him back tomorrow anyway? I decided not to call him back because it was late, i didn’t get his call until two hours later and I was hanging out with friends…just not in the right mind set to call him back.
If I call him back what should I say/do? I read your articles about phone calls and texting, I’m assuming I would just act calm and collected and see what he has to say.

Thanks again. I really appreciate it!
admin

October 13, 2013 at 10:33 pm

I say finish out your NC period before you do anything.

anne

September 29, 2013 at 6:15 am

Hi chris.. im done with 30 days NC.. he didnt txt nor call me the whole nc. Ive tried the confession txt. He responded asap he txted 3x and ive got 1 m missed call. Ive waited 1hr before i replied about i remembered bout him. Then he replied: where’s the confession there? I didnt respond. What does it mean? What should i do next?

admin

September 30, 2013 at 12:37 am

Ok, you have to be careful about the confession text. While its good he responded you messed up b/c you actually have to have a sweet confession.

You should try reaching out again (not with the confession text) with some of the texts in PRO and control and end the convo first.
anne

September 30, 2013 at 3:48 am

Thanku..i rily dont know what to confess.. i messed up.. do i still have a chance? When should i text him again?
admin

October 1, 2013 at 2:01 am

Of course you do haha. Just let some time go by before you text again.
anne

October 1, 2013 at 3:28 am

Haha.. felt ashamed! I probably just dont expect that he will respond asap. And he even accepted my request asap in fb.should i wait like how many days? Or weeks? Before i txt him again?
admin

October 1, 2013 at 11:53 pm

Wait two weeks! That sounds like a solid number.

Cassandra

September 24, 2013 at 3:22 am

Forgot to mentioned, that while we were taking over the phone , I’ve asked him in a way if joking ,if he was dating someone or if he got marry ,divorce and he just laugh and change the conversation asking how I have been for the past days . I just pretended and making him to think that I don’t know anything about him dating somebody else ..
Cassandra

September 23, 2013 at 10:22 pm

Hi Chris , I used the ”I have a confession text ”and he replied within 3 minutes , i dont have any confession to make .. Please help what do I say now ????:(

admin

September 24, 2013 at 2:00 am

….. hahahaha you are supposed to have a nice confession planned before you even send that text. I talk about that in my E-Book.

But hey, look on the positive side at least he responded really quickly that means he is really interested.
Cassandra

September 24, 2013 at 9:33 pm

Hi Chris ,
I’ve sent the message this morning , and he replied right away .. I say that I just satmble on an old movie of mine with an actor ( I said the mane of the actor and the movies )that it reminded me of him and it bright smile to my face ..
His replied was ummm , I don’t know the actor or the movie .
So I replied back Lol. It’s a French actor . It just that it came to my head the day you showed me a picture of you and your kids facing each other’s to see who’s nose is bigger :)..I think he has your nose .
He didn’t replied after that .. Lol . Hope he didn’t get mad
admin

September 25, 2013 at 1:21 am

Nah, you just need to do a better job of ending the conversation first. And probably have a little more gripping opening text.
Cassandra

September 27, 2013 at 2:52 am

Please help me I am making things worse ..
Cassandra

September 26, 2013 at 6:49 pm

Hi Chris,
I am not sure if by buying this e book will making to recover him now.. He told me that his dating somebody and I realize that this was an ex gf from that he dated for 6 month before me. I felt really bad after this, because he had forgotten that he have talked to me about this person while me and him were dating. So I asked him who’s this person was and when he told me , I said , that my feelings were right about both of them .. I told him on a nicely way that even if he tries to convince me about him not dating both at the same time, I am not gonna believe him or change the way I feel about the whole situation . I told him that I was not the kind of person who hate anyone and that I don’t hate him and I wish him well in his life .. I am sad , but I know he might not feel good either.. I call him the same night for short time and I asked . Tell me that I am being stupid for feeling bad ? I said , u told she was mad at you because if the text message I’ve sent you , well if I would have known that you were dating somebody I,would’ve not sent you any message not even on his birthday , I said that I do respect coupled relationships , but that I was very sorry if I cause any issue between them . He quietly said , you don’t need to apologies or feel bad about , that In fact ,she just asks who I was .. I am sorry I don’t feel good about the whole situation and that now I feel like I was a rebound for him , but that it doesn’t matter anymore and with all my heart I wish him the best in life .. So I hung up ..

I don’t even know at this point why I am hoping to get him back on day .. Do you think that there is hope here ?
admin

September 27, 2013 at 6:03 am

I would go back into NC mode and if the E-Book isn’t your thing no problem.
Cassandra

September 26, 2013 at 3:30 am

Hi Chris,
After all this, me and him talked over the phone today and he finally told me that he was dating somebody else and that this person his dating ,was mad at him because of the text messages I’ve sent him . He also said that me and him can’t be friends or talk over the phone anymore … I guess there is not hope for me here 🙁 ..
admin

September 27, 2013 at 3:30 am

Well, cut him out of your life for a while.
Cassandra

September 25, 2013 at 3:53 am

Hi Chris ,
I think I screwed up here 🙁 ..I gonna change my name to impatient. So since he said that he didn’t know the actor , I’ve sent him a picture at night and a text saying this.. Please Don’t shoot me for seeing your nose on him 🙁 ..It was just a confession after all !!! so keep it secret haha..oh ! but you can see mine on Sara Bareilles she is a singer. Lol .. Oh oh I m runing late for my second class bye , bye and good night 🙂 .
admin

September 26, 2013 at 2:36 am

Was that the entire text you sent him?

I would have made it a little shorter.
Cassandra

September 25, 2013 at 1:51 am

I did not text him back either, I didn’t know how to end the text on a better way ..thank you so much for your suggestions . I got the idea of the text I’ve sent him from an example on this website of E book. Do you think I should add something else on another text to end conversation on a better way ?

Thank you ,
admin

September 26, 2013 at 2:29 am

I think as long as you stick to the convo enders in the E-Book you will be fine!
Cassandra

September 24, 2013 at 3:01 am

I know , thank you for replying back to me here ,but still don’t know what to come with .. I haven’t reply to him fo a whole day still . Well I have a confession to make, but i don’t think he would like to know that I used his name to chase my exboyfriend before him away ., lol
admin

September 25, 2013 at 12:32 am

Say something like “oh, thing A reminded me of you.”

Adrienne johanson

September 21, 2013 at 9:40 pm

Hey Chris! For starts amazing entry’s and advice I wish I found you sooner because like I’ve said everything you said not to do, well I did it. For you to get a clear understanding of my situation with my ex I should probably give you insight on how our relationship went over the 2.5 years. Me and my ex were together since we were junior/seniors in highschool were both in college now. It was a weird way how we met one day we were at a party n we both had crushes on eachother but not once spoke to eachother, that night we ended up talking for hours that led us to have our first kiss. While we were still talking I’ve always had been so mean because he’s such a nice genuine well liked person, I kind of took advantage of him. Progressively we started getting more attached, extremely close to eachother’s families and we also started having a lot of bad fights sometimes even physical (twice). We both took eachother back said well change everything. At one point I wanted to take a break (but he doesn’t believe in breaks) to correct all my wrongs but I couldn’t successfully do it because he hasn’t given me time to correct my wrongs. I had a major issue with trust I would be that girlfriend who would trip over him doing absolutely nothing and he would do everything right in his power to make me feel secure beautiful and loved but yet I always “nagged” him. He got fed up with fighting and constant bickering, but there was also good in the relationship we spent time like friends, I was his biggest supporter in baseball rain or shine id be at his games and we are eachothers first loves and first real relationship. You talked about real reasons to legitimately want him back well here it goes: #1 he is husband material, he wouldn’t hurt anyone and everyone knows it, handy around the house, and sweet so loving #2 were close to eachothers family we built a significant bond and talk to eachothers parents n siblings constantly #3 besides the fighting which is mainly through TEXT, we had a REALLY good relationship. We were lovey dovey but we also spent so much time together we get irritated easily. We had a big fight before the breakup and when he brokeup with me he said everyone knows he deserves better and that hes fed up but he still loves me. After the breakup I texted him once or twice a day not constantly everyday though. I wrote him one of those “letters” that was basically a closure. No response to anything, I talked to his friend and he was basically telling me “he’s over the relationship 1000% he feels relieved now, he doesn’t want to talk to you if him not texting you wasn’t a hint then he told me that he never ever wants to talk to you ever again, if you were locked in a room with him he’d pretend You was a ghost.” I think this is immature of him and I really don’t believe this is coming from him i think its anger and hurt. His mom says he needs space because its so fresh. We never really broke up just “slaps on the wrists” as he put it. hes doing the whole no contact rule TOUGH, he blocked my number just so he wouldn’t see my texts if I did text him. I know right now he doesnt want nothing to do with me but I know he still loves me for a fact and misses me but he seems like hes perfectly okay when i know he cant possibly get over me so quick because hes been with me since were 16/17. Knowing him I feel he’s focused on baseball and school, if a girl gets in the picture he’s not gonna want to start over again so quickly but it will fit in the void of me not being there. I don’t blame him for being relieved because were not fighting anymore or worrying about being perfect.

My question to you, is it too late to get him back after everything we’ve been through? I know if I fixed my attitude(psychobitchassness) and showed i trust him, he’d want to marry me(that’s what he said). I’m doing major changes even seeing a therapist to see what the deeper rooted issues i have and how i could change it. I know space is needed because we’ve never had space between us or a real breakup. i know we need to learn what life’s like without eachother right now but I don’t want him to completely forget about me I want him to know I’m changing myself but how could I do that if he has no contact with me?? I’m glad he’s going out with his friends and meeting new people because I felt he held himself back when we were together. I’m lost and no direction, you’re entry’s are the only real thing and advice I have had. What do you think about my situation? Thank you so much in advance!!!

admin

September 21, 2013 at 11:41 pm

Hi There!

It’s the age old question isn’t it?

“Do I have a chance at getting him back?”

Well, the truth is that you do have a chance but that chance all depends upon you and how you approach the situation going forward.

Right now where are you at? have you started a NC rule?
Adrienne johanson

September 22, 2013 at 12:18 am

Hey, so he’s been ignoring me and since the new update allows you you to block numbers he blocked mine! We haven’t talked and as I said earlier his friend aka the middle man was saying he never wants to talk to me again but I feel that’s out of anger and hurt but I could be wrong. Right now he doesn’t want anything to do with me and I know everything that’s wrong with the relationship could all be fixed I just haven’t had the space to do it even though this is a breakup not a break or space. I wonder if I still have a chance with him in the future after what I told you ):
admin

September 22, 2013 at 10:46 pm

The new iPhone update? It is so wild isn’t it?

Just leave him be for a while. He will come around.

Kris

September 20, 2013 at 3:50 pm

What if HE was the one who initiated NC?

And I *cough* continued to try to get his attention?
If I start my own NC, will he even care?

admin

September 20, 2013 at 9:22 pm

Hahha still do it in that case.

*cough*

Chloe

September 19, 2013 at 3:23 pm

Me and my ex broke up for around 2 months and I have applied no contact rule since then.
For the last 1 week I’ve realized I cant let go of him. We ‘ve been with each other for around only a month, then one day he decided he wanted space so I gave him some but then i realized hes getting back to his ex who he said always took him for granted and hes glad he met me (I guess people always want things that they cant have?)Btw, the chemistry between us was great, we get along very well, we have extremely similar hobbies.
OK back to my story, after finding out he used such a lame excuse to brake up with me, I got so mad and did something stupid, I posted a status on fb saying ” I wish you have the courage to tell me the truth instead using all those lame excuses ” but then I deleted it and I also unfriended him because I cant bare the “flirting” between them.
Anyways, is there any chance I could get him back? I am not sure if he still have feeling for me after all that I did.
Thank you

admin

September 20, 2013 at 7:02 pm

Sure there is a chance but it all depends on YOU!

Get my E-Book to learn really how to do it but right now NC is the best bet for you.

Chanel

September 14, 2013 at 4:53 pm

Ok, I’m wondering this, after 30 days of nc and i will text him im wondering what text first. I feel the need to make him jealous, so do I do that first or should I text him saying something nice about our past memory of having a good time together? how do I go about this? Help!

admin

September 15, 2013 at 1:46 am

The first time I would text him I would get a response and end the conversation immediately.

Slowly work up to jealousy

Maya

September 12, 2013 at 4:25 pm

My ex boyfriend and I dated for almost 2 years and he suddenly dumped me saying he “can’t do it anymore” and now wants nothing to do with me. We officially broke up about 3 weeks ago.. But last week he contacted me and was acting like he wanted to get back together and two days later he
Dropped me again and wants nothing to do with me. My friend has been talking to him and he doesn’t like the subject Of me, and tells her he’s Permenately done. I just started this NC period 4 days ago. But what else can I do to get him to see that we really should be together? And what should I do if the text message works?

admin

September 13, 2013 at 4:01 am

Well, NC is really important but what you do during that NC is just as important.

Look to evolve.

It is kind of hard to explain in a comment to be honest because the situation is so complex. That is why I wrote the E-Book to help people who are confused.
Maya

September 13, 2013 at 5:36 pm

I wated to buy your e-book but college loans are keeping me
On a chicken noodle soup every night budget. Do you think I have any chance of getting him back? I just need some help :,(
admin

September 13, 2013 at 6:25 pm

Chiken noodle soup.

I prefer Ramen noodles myself.

I think you should certainly try.
Maya

September 13, 2013 at 6:35 pm

Lol my point was I can’t afford much right now. I just want to know if you think my situation is hopeless or not.
admin

September 15, 2013 at 12:52 am

I think the situation is worth a try.

Taylor

September 10, 2013 at 4:54 pm

What should I do if he tries to talk to me in person during the NC period.? What if he is talking to another girl during this period? Do I still have a chance?

admin

September 11, 2013 at 2:24 am

Well, don’t be rude if he approaches you in person. Be nice, pleasant and friendly. But keep the interaction short.

Wendyloo

September 10, 2013 at 2:23 pm

Hi 🙂 I love your article(s)!

I’ve been seeing a guy for a bit over a month. At first he was very romantic but over the weeks I began to feel he was taking me for granted. Now I see that I was way too available to him and pursuing him enough that he’s probably lost some interest and the thrill of the chase.

I began to feel a bit undervalued and that didn’t feel good at all.

So, last time we had plans, he texted to confirm. I replied: not really interested in today after all so i made other plans. He replied: ok. no problem.

I plan on initiating the no contact rule and then one of the texts you’ve suggested. Do you think I have blown my chances??

admin

September 11, 2013 at 2:15 am

No, I think you are going about it the right way!

monica

August 30, 2013 at 11:16 pm

Hi chris ,yesterday I got in a fight with my boyfriend (now exboyfriend) because of past small issues. Like he wouldnt accept my curfew or like he would wish I was different in many ways he just wouldnt completely accept me. As For me I had a hard time accepting he wasnt as romantic as I am,even tough I cant deny I had great moments with him and he showed his love to me in several other ways…but sometimes I felt I was no longer causing excitment on him you know , like of having me as a girlfriend. I started to feel he was being unhappy cause of what I previously mentioned , things he wouldnt accept. So we had this fight yesterday about this issues like for the millionth time , he said he was becoming desperate so I exploded telling him that if he was desperate and getting tired why on earth was he still with me blahblah that If he wanted we could end things , so we broke up . he said he was sorry it had been via text , and that he hopes maybe one day we can work things out .. its been 24 hours with NC… I still cant accept to myself that he actually agreed on breaking up .. when all I wanted was for him to regret what he had said about getting tired of me by feeling this treath of a break up. So yeah.. did we actually broke up like together? or was it me who dumped him? or did he dump me? Im unsure as it was all in a fight .. I feel that he took the opportunity because he was no longer happy.

Now.. I dont like the idea of the break up via text.. I really hope for him to contact me or something just to have a decent closure…

what can I do to have this decent closure? just to thank him for the time we had together and to talk maturely about what went wrong and just wish goodluck since I have no hate towards him…

admin

August 31, 2013 at 2:29 am

Well, you are broken up so I guess NC you are right to do.

If you want closure I would call him and request a meeting.

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