How To Get Your Ex Boyfriend To Speak To You- Get Him Talking Again

1,518 thoughts on “Making Your Ex Boyfriend Speak To You Again”

Vinh

July 7, 2016 at 2:58 pm

Hi,

Me and the boyfriend been going out for 4.5 years…In a long distance relationship. He broke up with me because of trust issues. I only got jealous twice through out our whole relationship and fought. Overall the relationship was a happy one. I did the NC for 30 days and texted him to ask about his vacation. He answer back and we texted a little and ended with me saying have a good time on your vacation. Later that night he sent me a picture of these cookies i could not find….then after a some small texts we stop texting. After a day of no texts from him the next day i sent him a pic of something and said have a good day at work and he repsonded “you too…have a good day at work.” It seems like me contacting him first was a bad idea. He doesn’t seem like he is ready to talk to me or be friends again. Should i start no contact again to give him more time?

Vinh

July 7, 2016 at 6:13 pm

Thank you…I’ll try to work on the topics and end convo. I know there is no fast way to have him interested in me again ,but it seems he already moved on and he is answering back to be nice.
EBR Team Member: Amor

July 7, 2016 at 5:50 pm

HI Vinh,

nope but you have to work on your topics and how you end the convo too.

Laura

June 30, 2016 at 12:03 am

My ex bf and I got in touch after 20+ years we live in different cities. We text and talked constantly for 3 months. He told me he loved me and said so many sweet beautiful things to me. He had just broken up with his live in gf. I knew he would go back to her so I told him to try and win her back. He did. Now 2 months later theyve broken up again. I have sent him an email with no response..a week later Ive sent a 2nd and final email to him (I cant text b/c Ive deleted his cell to keep me from constantly texting him after he left me). Why hasnt he responded? Im shocked and saddened that he hasnt contacted me after all the wonderful things we said to each other. He wven said he would move here to he with me and now he wont contact me. Im very confused.
Thank you for any input

EBR Team Member: Amor

July 1, 2016 at 11:30 am

HI Laura,

maybe he’s trying to move on independently, instead of using you as rebound.

Mixed signals

June 28, 2016 at 2:57 pm

I saw my ex and kids this weekend. We had a good conversation. We continued to text over the weekend. Had a seemingly great conversation. I made the mistake of getting drunk on Saturday night, and stopping by his house in the middle of the night. He assumed I was sitting in my car, stalking his house. I did knock on his door, but he must not have heard me. It freaked him out. After that he accused me of driving by his house to see if he had anyone over. I told him I was offended that he was accusing me of that. He said, “probably best that we do not continue to have contact. Too difficult and boundaries are being crossed that should not be.”

How do I deal with this? Will he ever contact me again? I’m afraid this is the end.

EBR Team Member: Amor

June 29, 2016 at 6:30 am

Hi PYar,

you should really it do active no contact.. you appear to be chasing him right now…

missy

June 28, 2016 at 2:34 am

Hi,

I need your advice. I have dating a divorced man. He love me so much. He said he was very grateful to fall in love again after 2 years of divorce. But he sometimes still feel like I will leave him someday like his ex wife did to him. He pulled away a lot at the beginning of relationship. But, after 3 months of great relationship he plan to marry me. But, one day we fought on something small and he seems not convince to be with me in his future. It might be because of his past relationship. But I know at that time he still love me. I begged him so much and he seems distant. After a month I tried to contact him but he still doesnt want to be good with me and the conversation seems to be hard. Then I started NC again. It is now been 3 weeks. Recently he liked some of my photos on Instagram which he had never done it before but I noticed he also started to get active in dating sites as well. It is really confusing me. I didnt stalk him but we didnt block each other. Please advice.

EBR Team Member: Amor

June 29, 2016 at 9:53 am

Hi Missy,

it looks like you’re active which is good..keep that up..him liking yor photos is good too.. try a first contact text after nc.. and contnue on the activities you started during it

Pyar

June 27, 2016 at 8:12 pm

I made a huge error in judgement over this past weekend. I saw my ex and his kids on Friday. Dropping off things of his and theirs that I still had. I texted him, asking him if he wanted a booty call. No response. Saturday, I went to a party, and got a tad bit inebriated, and stopped over at his house in the middle of the night. Knocked on the door, but I don’t think he heard me. All he saw was my car in his driveway. He assumed I was sitting my car, watching the house. Anyways, he said that he thinks it is best that we do not continue to have contact. It’s too difficult, and boundaries are being crossed that shouldn’t be. Please help!

EBR Team Member: Amor

June 29, 2016 at 6:30 am

Hi PYar,

you should really it do active no contact.. you appear to be chasing him right now…

Sass

June 26, 2016 at 7:53 pm

It has been almost a year and a half since we broke up. He said he needed time, and I said I don’t have time to give him. Then I told him I couldn’t be friends, and then changed my mind, you know the whole routine. I was feeling a lot, and he decided to stop responding to me. I gave him several months without contact, and he still won’t respond to me. I don’t do the “I miss you, take me back” thing. I just tell him it would be nice to have a fresh start as friends because we were good friends. He’s still ignoring me. I would love to give up and move on, but that doesn’t seem to be happening for me. What else can I do?

EBR Team Member: Amor

June 28, 2016 at 12:49 pm

Hi Sass,

How many new guys are meeting in a month right now? and when was the last time you contacted him? are you active in social media?

Terri

June 23, 2016 at 9:05 am

My fiance and I was extremely happy for over 5 months, I finally moved in with him and we lived together happily for 4 months. If one of us raised our voice to the other, we immediately apologized for it and talked it out. One day his older sister kept begging me to come over and spend the night with her so she can get to know me. I didn’t want to because I heard from my fiance, his mom, his dad, his younger sister, and their friends that her boyfriend always tries getting into the girls pants when they are there. I also was told he is blackmailing her by using her daughter in the threat. For nearly a month my fiance and his family would tell her things as to why I can’t spend the night, but they all was not true. I finally got tired of her asking them to get me to spend the night, and messaged her on Facebook telling her everything I was told and why I won’t spend the night. She got upset over it and contacted her brother and father. My fiance asked me about posting on her page about her boyfriend which I told him no I haven’t been, he never did ask about messaging her. She gave him her email and password and he read everything I said to her, of course he admitted to her he didn’t like her boyfriend and the exact reasons I told her he didn’t. His father and mother though told her I was lying and not to listen to me. About a week or 2 passes by and she shows up with her boyfriend at her parents house. (My fiance and I lived in a trailer on the property behind the house.) She asked me over Facebook after they left if I was still mad at her because I didn’t speak to her when they was there. I told her no, and thought everything was good. Then about 2 days later, my fiance’s mother came into the trailer saying I messed up for the last time, referring to the Directv and AT&T bill that I started up but they was paying. Since Directv was in my name and AT&T was in my fiance’s, they could not bundle the two services together to form one bill, so they separated them and Direct sent another bill for the same month, causing even more of a charge than what was told to us. His father also got a phone call from his car insurance company saying someone tried getting his personal information, and he immediately thought it was me because he doesn’t trust people until they prove to him they can be trusted (which is hard when he stays in the bedroom all the time.). Anyway, my grandmother in Oklahoma contacted them and managed to get them to let me stay until she got paid and got me a bus ticket 4 days later. The entire time, my fiance always kissed me, hugged me, said he didn’t want me to go but can’t change his father’s mind, and we even had an adult time the morning before I left. When my fiance and his younger sister and her husband took me to the bus station, he gave me his phone number for the texting app he had on his phone, since his phone was turned off. He gave me a kiss and a hug, and told me to promise to remain in contact and maybe in two months or less his father will let me come back. We texted all throughout my trip to Oklahoma, but the moment I got to Oklahoma it all stopped. I seen he changed his profile photo that was of us to just him, and removed our engagement as his relationship status to single. After about 3 days, he messaged me saying he didn’t change it because he left his phone at his parents house, and he was sick with food poisoning and his grandmother was in the hospital. Then 3 days later, he blocks me on Facebook, blocked my grandmother, told his mother he doesn’t want to talk to me, his mother blocked me, his older sister did, and they keep being told lies about me from a guy that is stalking me that I don’t even know and never met in my life. My fiance never said it was over between us, and I am pregnant with his child. I really love him and want us to work out, what can I do to make him and his family see that I am not the demon they think I am to where he talks to me again? (My grandmother wants to send a confirmation letter to his parents to prove I am pregnant and the child support handbook with highlighted areas in it since his older sister thinks Texas won’t make him pay since I live in Oklahoma and not there.)

EBR Team Member: Amor

June 27, 2016 at 2:23 pm

Hi Terri,

how are you now? Are you sure it was him who did all those?

miracle me

June 17, 2016 at 6:12 am

Me and boyfriend broke up 3 weeks ago, a day after we broke up he texting me regulary and I reply all his messages enthusiastically, because I thought that he will come back to me.
But in the next 2 weeks he rare texting me, and when I try to text him first he only reply a short message and I text him that I really miss and still love him, but he didn’t give me any response.
Is there still any chance to do the no contact period?
Please advice…

EBR Team Member: Amor

June 18, 2016 at 3:47 pm

Hi Miracle me,

we can’t guarantee that it will surely work..but why not try it as a last resort?

Anne

June 10, 2016 at 5:43 am

thank you armor for the advice.today I am in 40 day of no contact. I havent contacted him in anyway.only I had been to the market when I saw him but I looked away.made no eye contact. am sure he must have seen me because he was just behind me.by emotional connection I mean to say that we spoke to each other in a very deep level also about the future. I have somewhat moved on since then.I will surely read the article you suggested. I saw that he has added a handful of girls on his Facebook.though am not bothered much anymore.and today he has followed me on Facebook. no message or likes or friend request.only followed.what does this mean? I think he already was going out with one of the girls of Fb.then why would he want to follow me.

EBR Team Member: Amor

June 16, 2016 at 5:46 am

hmm.. maybe he wants to slowly reconnect with you

Kristen

June 8, 2016 at 12:08 am

My ex and I are talking again via text! Thank you for your great advice so far. My next question is he seems to avoid seeing me even though he wants to pick up his things. I even said I would just put them outside so he can grab them. But he declines saying he’ll just get them one day when it works out that we both have available. He responds to my text messages and sometimes even texts out of the blue. Any suggestions? How do I get to the next step? I did no contact for a full thirty days and I changed myself for the better so much. I did a makeover and have lost a lot of weight. I feel amazing. I just don’t know what else to try. Thanks!

EBR Team Member: Amor

June 15, 2016 at 8:10 am

Hi Kristen,

That’s good. Just take it slow.. build more rapport first.. Once you do, it will be more natural to meet up

Anne

May 26, 2016 at 6:45 am

hi !thank you for you articles. they really are the best and I keep coming back to read more and more.I have a question please help me.me and my boyfriend were in a relationship since three months and I had been clingy with him and we always fought on the same thing over and over that he would never contact me and would act busy even when he would be at home and checking social media .I thought making him a bit jealous would make him want me more but it only backfired and he literally believes I have cheated on him not sexually but going to a movie.where as all this was only a lie. we had a fight on the phone he even said he’ll never call or message me again.and I got furious unfriended him on Facebook and changed my number.it has been 26 days he hasn’t contacted nor have I though I think he has checked my profile through mutual friends.he has updated photos of him at the gym and another one with his dog and captioned it “having fun and love”.I even see that he is adding girls one after the other to his profile.I feel to make me jealous or maybe he has moved on and searching new fish. but I haven’t reacted to this in any way. does he even regret our breakup? I feel I have lost it.another thing I would want to say here is we had an emotional connection at some time but I don’t want to be the one initiating the contact anymore.what should I do to make him contact me.sorry I know this is very long to read but I wanted to give as much details possible. thank you ..

EBR Team Member: Amor

May 29, 2016 at 12:52 pm

Hi Anne,

what do you mean by emotional connection? YOu should start the no contact process. I know you haven’t talked for 26 days but you haven’t started trying to heal and move on too.. That’s very important. You have to be more emotionally stable first and if you want to him chase you, you have to improve yourself. Check this post out: [email protected]

Summer

May 24, 2016 at 9:35 am

Hey, I’ve been with my bf for a whole year and suddenly by our 1 year, he became cold towards me for before I dated him, I dated his best friend for 4 months and he has done things to me against my will so I ended it with him and I got with my current bf… it sounds horrible of me I know but I really liked him for so long… but he thought I wanted all the things he’s done to me and I didn’t but finally, his friend confessed to the things he’s done about two weeks ago but my bf is confused about being with me now… in person, I can tell he loves me so much but over phone, he seems so distant with me. Just recently, he stopped talking to me. I just gave him the time and all for I didn’t want to bother him at all and make things worse but I miss him a lot and hope I can be with him again… a lot has happened in those two and a half months and I don’t know how I can explain it all but if I can have a little bit of advice I’d really appreciate it…

EBR Team Member: Amor

May 27, 2016 at 6:39 am

Hi Summer,

if he gives the chance explain it, but if not has your ex explained to your current bf that you didn’t really wanted what you did?

Angel

May 13, 2016 at 7:49 am

Hi. I need help. I finished my 30 days no contact rule. We had been together for almost 4 years. He had to come back to his country, bef that he asked me to marry him. Our 4 months being apart is still full of love. Short story, after moving to a new apartment he told me he doesnt have feeling for me anymore n he doesnt want to be in relationship for amoment. He said he always felt stress everytime he talked to me. I begged him for one week. The last thing he said he was not happy n he said yes to give me another chance but with high tone. Then I decided to not contacting him. He never contact me once in one month of no contact. He started to go out with alot of friends n having many girls around him now. Im so heart broken. When we were together he wud neva talk to any girls. But now he is liking their pics n so on. He is still using our ring in the last pic he posted. Today is the 30th day, idk how to start… I feel he doesnt care n seems like he enjoy his freedom. I know im being needy n clingy, jelousy n controlling. I read so many stories n most of them re failed esp if he doesnt contact you during or after no contact. What should I do? The first text I should send him
“Hi, I just watched civil war with my friends. N its awesome. I remember we watched marvel together before. You should watch it too!”

Or

“I have confession to say … ”

Which one should I start with? I want to buy exboyfriend recovery but im still student n i have no credit card or even enough money to buy them. I feel so bad. I want to try to do maximally to talk to him. He was a decent guy. Idk why he is being like this. Please help me.

EBR Team Member: Amor

May 15, 2016 at 5:39 am

Hi Angel,

the confession has to be true.. I think both of you are still young and he’s starting to experience life now.. Have you improved yourself during nc and were you active in posting? Did you try to date?

Elsie

May 3, 2016 at 12:44 am

Hi!

Question.
I broke up with my boyfriend- later I regretted it and didn’t know how to tell him. So I tried all the things from ExBR- month of no contact, then initiating with texts. He’s responded quickly/positively all 3 times, but had never initiated over this 6 month period. It’s been about 1.5 months since my last text convo to him (i spread them out). How do I reach out for a 4th time when he hasn’t initiated? He always responds, but doesn’t initiate- what does that mean?

Elsie

May 7, 2016 at 4:33 am

I just don’t really understand-if I’m always initiating, how does that not come off as desperate? I feel like I’ve run out of reasons to text him that don’t seem desperate or ‘for no real reason’. I’ve always ended on a good note; I’ve texted happy birthday; about a bar we went to that I was at; about a coincidence of my new job being near where he plays ball- all ending positive. What else could I possibly text about other than “hi/ How are you?”
EBR Team Member: Amor

May 8, 2016 at 6:29 pm

hmmm.. because it depends on how the previous convo ended and how long you’ve been texting. It’s like he’s supposed to be left hanging and wanting to text to you but he has no choice but to wait for your text again to get to talk to you.. Texting is just supposed to build enough rapport to proceed to calls… if you are initiating always, and ending a convo always but you always get neutral responses, that’s different.., that means it’s not working.. Either the topics are not interesting for him or he really doesn’t want to talk as friends.
EBR Team Member: Amor

May 4, 2016 at 9:16 am

Hi Elsie,

actually it’s ok if you’re the one initiating as long as you’re the one ending the convo in high note.. follow the tide theory in this blog post
Texting An Ex Boyfriend (The New Rules)

Akemi

May 1, 2016 at 6:03 am

I did the NC rule and when i contacted him he replied within second, we always have good conversation but I’m the first one who always initiate the conversation. how can i make him contact me first?

Akemi

May 3, 2016 at 2:18 am

yesterday he didn’t bother to reply to my text and seems ignoring me. I want to keep him interesting to me without making my self so clingy.
EBR Team Member: Amor

May 4, 2016 at 9:17 am

don’t text right ahead again..give it 3 days to a week before you text again
EBR Team Member: Amor

May 1, 2016 at 3:03 pm

Hi Akemi,

try to end the conversation in cliff hanger.. the way that he would want to ask what happened next..

Felly

April 21, 2016 at 8:01 am

Hey guys! Great articles 🙂 My ex and I broke up last August after 3.5 months and he ended it. He did tell me he loved me etc. We texted on and off once every couple of weeks since then. The conversations seemed mechanical, sometimes emotional but he never wanted to discuss what happened etc. He said he would rather pretend like everything was okay and not make himself vulnerable. So we only speak about stuff not related to the relationship. He seemed aloof however. He used to initiate but for the past month, it seems like I’m the only one initiating. Neither of us have done no contact He claims he’s rather busy at work right now, he said its a hectic period and told me he’s trying to stay on top of a lot of things. When I initiate, he would respond late, the next day, carry on the conversation for a bit and then just stop replying me. What should I do from this point on? I dont want to be the one always making the effort, but I’m scared he might not if I don’t.

Felly

April 23, 2016 at 4:42 pm

Ok Amor! I’ll start no contact.
Felly

April 23, 2016 at 5:25 am

Yeap, I’m pretty sure he knows I still have feelings for him. So you’re saying that perhaps he knows ill probably stick around since I already have all this while despite the way he’s treated me. And thats why he’s not making an effort because he feels like he doesnt need to.
EBR Team Member: Amor

April 23, 2016 at 2:49 pm

yes.. exactly!
EBR Team Member: Amor

April 23, 2016 at 4:23 am

Hi Felly,

but that’s already what’s happening.. you’re the only one initiating right? It looks he friendzoned you and he knows you’re still waiting for him.. it’s better if you try nc to break being friendzoned but improve yourself to spark attraction..

you really have to risk somebody because if not you would end up chasing him/her when you’re always afraid of losing him/her.. especially if you know that he’s not treating you the way you want to be treated and you still stayed.. that just indicates you’re ok with everything

Skye love

April 17, 2016 at 1:38 am

What if he says the reason why we broke up is because I’m too affectionate do I still do Nc rule??

EBR Team Member: Amor

April 18, 2016 at 7:18 am

Hi Skye love,

I think in other words that means you’re clingy… if that’s the case, yes, you should do nc.

Anonymous

April 8, 2016 at 4:19 pm

I had an argument with my ex boyfriend over text and I sent him a message saying I didn’t want to speak anymore (thinking that he’d come begging back to me because I still love him – I was just in a low phase) but he never replied… I have tried the NC method but still nothing but I don’t know if he just thinks that I don’t want to get back with him or if he doesn’t want to get back with me either?
Thanks

EBR Team Member: Amor

April 9, 2016 at 8:42 am

Hi Anonymous,

how long did you do nc and were you proactive?

anonymous

April 1, 2016 at 1:03 pm

hi again…
my ex boyfriend doesn’t respond me anymore. We had conversation like a month ago, he spoke to me then nothing. I have wished him happy easter and nothing, today I have asked him how’s going his thesis because he will get graduate and nothing. I don’t want to give up but I don’t know how to break this “Wall of reactance” against me.
thanks bye

anonymous

April 4, 2016 at 1:28 pm

hello,
after the period of no contact he answered to me more times… than he stopped… maybe I appeared needy I don’t know… anyway on friday I sent him a text message about his thesis and he answered me with one text message.
We had a good story I don’t know why is so reluctant and why one month ago he answered also to see each other! In that time I said to him that we could see each other when I was free… to not appear too needy and too available to see him but a week after when I asked him to go out he said that maybe we could see after my graduation. And then my graduation is passed and nothing.
EBR Team Member: Amor

April 4, 2016 at 3:07 pm

I think you haven’t read my advice above yet.. so, update us
anonymous

April 3, 2016 at 5:21 pm

hi,
I have already done no contact months ago… do you think I have to do it again? and always for 30 days?
thanks for your answers
EBR Team Member: Amor

April 4, 2016 at 11:53 am

oh, if he really isn’t responding after 3 times of trying that means he really doesn’t want to talk and the next best move is to move on
EBR Team Member: Amor

April 3, 2016 at 12:20 pm

Hi Anonymous,

do you want to try no contact?

Ciara

March 25, 2016 at 2:11 pm

My boyfriend and I broke up wednesday. We got into an argument because two weeks ago he pushed my buttons and I got angry with him and said a few hurtful things. However, when I’m angry with him im over it within and hour or two. He gets angry and drags it on for days/weeks. We got into a little argument wednesday night after he hurt my feelings and he broke up with me because he’s tired of me getting mad. Despite him giving me reasons to be angry he doesn’t see it that way. I spent the night at his house, at one point he told me to leave and that he didn’t want me there so I got up to go and he said, “wow you’re actually leaving. I wanted to see what you would do.” So I stayed. At another point I was texting my mom and he goes, “ha you’re already texting other guys.” The next day I went to leave and he just looked so sad that I was going, but he gave me no choice. He broke up with me and then said never speak to me again. I texted him after I left a basic apology and said I wouldn’t text him again unless he texted me. He hasn’t. In the past if I don’t reach out, he does, but im not sure if he will this time. I know he loves me, but I’m scared he might be done this time. I don’t know what to do other than the NC, but if that doesn’t work I’ll be devastated.

EBR Team Member: Amor

April 2, 2016 at 1:27 pm

Hi Ciara,
Have you talked?

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1,518 thoughts on “Making Your Ex Boyfriend Speak To You Again”