How To Get Your Ex Back When He's Moved On To A New Girl

3,819 thoughts on “Has He Moved On? How To Get Him Back If He Has A Girlfriend”

Indy

October 11, 2016 at 5:33 pm

Hi Amor,
Thankyou ever so much for your reply!!
I was hoping for your answer to be – give Chris’s suggestions are go. I am feeling devastated right now and I have only you to talk to as you have the insights to a man’s mind. I live with my Mum who is not well and I am trying to keep a stiff upper lip as she relies so so much on me. My girlfriends’ obviously don’t have your insights, so they are listening to me, but then they turn to a new subject without giving me any suggestions and i feel so lost. So, letting go is so so hard, but I am going to try. I know you are looking out for me and what’s best for me. So, going to the gig is not a good idea then? I was hoping to show that I was trying to let go as the next gig won’t be until next April/May and I don’t have a site for him to see any photo’s or posts. Or is it better that I just disappear from his life altogether as that would eventually show him that i’m moving on? I feel like I need to show him I’m moving on or he will know just how much this is hurting me. I don’t want to give him that satisfaction. So, go to the gig? or just get on with my own life and try not to worry about how sees me right now? I am trying to do as you suggest, but I need you to walk me through it as I am so so not coping. Again, thankyou so so much for your reply and for how much you care, I cannot tell you just how much this means to me!!, how much i appreciate you all, Indy. The computer is telling me duplicate comment, but it won’t go through. Will this go through now?

EBR Team Member: Amor

October 11, 2016 at 6:01 pm

Oh, it means you already posted the same comment, that’s why they’re double now but that’s ok.. Don’t go to this gig.. it will just show you’re supporting him.. If you really want a way for him to regret letting you go, open a social media account and be active in posting in that..I think you should read this one too:
How To Get Over An Ex Boyfriend When You’re Still In Love With Him

Indy

October 11, 2016 at 5:29 pm

Hi Amor,
Thankyou ever so much for your reply!!
I was hoping for your answer to be – give Chris’s suggestions are go. I am feeling devastated right now and I have only you to talk to as you have the insights to a man’s mind. I live with my Mum who is not well and I am trying to keep a stiff upper lip as she relies so so much on me. My girlfriends’ obviously don’t have your insights, so they are listening to me, but then they turn to a new subject without giving me any suggestions and i feel so lost. So, letting go is so so hard, but I am going to try. I know you are looking out for me and what’s best for me. So, going to the gig is not a good idea then? I was hoping to show that I was trying to let go as the next gig won’t be until next April/May and I don’t have a site for him to see any photo’s or posts. Or is it better that I just disappear from his life altogether as that would eventually show him that i’m moving on? I feel like I need to show him I’m moving on or he will know just how much this is hurting me. I don’t want to give him that satisfaction. So, go to the gig? or just get on with my own life and try not to worry about how sees me right now? I am trying to do as you suggest, but I need you to walk me through it as I am so so not coping. Again, thankyou so so much for your reply and for how much you care, I cannot tell you just how much this means to me!!, how much i appreciate you all, Indy.
Mishalni

October 11, 2016 at 4:48 pm

I love my boyfriend since 2010..He accept my proposal in February 2014.. My few friends told that he never love you truly..cheating on you..So, I asked directly to my boyfriend then he gt angry on me..He said he don’t like me because I didn’t trust him..We fought and broke up..But i still love him..Few months later I called him and cried..Begged to him that I can’t forgt u, i love you so much and more..But he didn’t accept me..At the end of 2014, he came back to me..He said he love me..I were happy..He always find time for me..Take care on me well..But since beginning of this year, he never behave well..He didn’t call me or even text..He rarely replied to my texts..It was hurting my heart so badly..But though I comfort my heart by telling He’s an army, so probably he busy with his duty.. But few days before I saw that he was very active in facebook..he got time to commented to other girl’s posts..But he never reply my texts also..few days ago, My friend told me that your boyfriend didn’t loyal to u..he said he don’t love you..He said he don’t like to see your face..He has chat with my friend..but at the same day, he called me and talk nicely..that was make me confused..Then i fought with my friend..Then she capture his conversation with her..i were shocked..I totally broken..I really can’t bare the betrayal..I loyal to him..always thinking about him..But he leave me for second time..It was a worst pain i ever felt..He betrayed to my trust..He said he loves another girl to my friend..But he pretend like love me to me..he know how much i love him and how much he meant to me..but he played with my love again..he leave me without any reason for a new girl..But I still love him..I want him to regret his fault and come back to me as a loyal man..Please help me!!! I can’t live without him.. My each days passing with teary eyes :'(

EBR Team Member: Amor

October 11, 2016 at 5:58 pm

Hi Mishalni,

You can live without him.. It’s not real love if you can’t. But I understand.. I think you need to check the podcasts and articles I will link below.. Please read and listen to them.

EBR 056: My Ex Boyfriend Cheated On Me Multiple Times… What Do I Do?

The Ungettable Girl

Akriti

October 10, 2016 at 11:53 am

Hi..
My ex boyfriend left me 1week ago for the girl he met four days back..
We have completed Almost 10 months together..everything was good 1week ago then suddenly he has changed. He used to ignore my calls when he was with that girl. He didn’t even tell me that he’s meeting someone he always come up with the lame excuses when I asked him why you were not answering my calls.
One day I opened his email and I saw he sent a mail to that girl.. it something like ” with love..miss u sweetheart”
I asked him directly about this..we had a huge fight over this..in the end he said I love her..I was Crying and begging him and he said ” I really love her” and he left me
That girl is also having a boyfriend still he’s with my ex and I heard that she’s going to marry her boyfriend ( not my ex) in January or February..
He left for that girl whom he met 4 days back..it’s killing me

EBR Team Member: Amor

October 11, 2016 at 10:18 am

Hi Akriti,

He’s in a grass is greener syndrome.. read the link I will be linking below and are you going to do the no contact period?

The Grass is Greener Syndrome For Ex Boyfriends

Confused

October 10, 2016 at 8:46 am

My bf and I were the it couple for over one year. I never doubted our love or future. We started our sophomore yr at university and things went downhill.. I got a part time job which took up time and he joined a frat. I hate his frat I probably should have told him that but I didn’t … it made him someone different. Someone who is elitist and stuck up … Drugs are always around. My bf always had self esteem issues and daddy issues (he looks up to him but frankly the man us a cold/emotionally abusive to his family but Mr. Party guy /personality to strangers. The Frat was his idea.)
We survived a year of my bf changing into someone I don’t recognize 50%of the time.
We broke up after being miserable all summer.. he blew of our plans and I found out he’s probably doing drugs with his “brothers” and was lying to me about this.
I know we are young and still changing but I still hope he will change back into the man I love and not become more of a douche. I broke up with him 30 days ago and it hurts every day. I’ve been eating healthy, working out, dating but want my bf back. I made my initial text today and it went ok (ended it after about 6 back and forths). How long before I reach out again? Also am I crazy to think I can win him back from his frat? (Drugs are a phase I hope to fit in with research “brothers”… I’m sure by now he’s sleeping around .. I can forgive this … after std testing). I just want my best friend back. I want the future we dreamt of. How do I compete with a frat and daddy wanting his boy to be a frat party boy/stud?

EBR Team Member: Amor

October 11, 2016 at 10:16 am

Hi Confused,

you can’t change him.. the best way to influence him is to really just be your best self.. and then sticking to your standards, if he’s still doing drugs and you don’t want that, then stop talking to him.. Because if he can see, that you’re ok with it, that you’re still talking to him inspite of it, then why would he get rid of it when he can have both worlds?

Indy

October 9, 2016 at 7:51 pm

Stupid me, keep forgetting things, sorry!!
He told me the phone call thing was her idea. She had asked him to ring me and she would be sitting next to him on the couch and listen in on speaker phone. That’s why he had called me and asked me to lie, so that she wouldn’t know of our recent involvement. So he had rung me to give me a heads up. So… she doesn’t know about that either. Unless, he is lying to me as well as her?, but why would he go to the trouble of concocting that story up? More lies! and if it is him lying to her… As yet, i haven’t received that phone call, it’s all a bit weird, he’s put it off twice now and contacted me both nights to let me know that he wouldn’t do it that night. And supposedly she doesn’t know of that either. Weird!!

EBR Team Member: Amor

October 11, 2016 at 9:14 am

Hi Indy,

I wonder how charismatic he is.. he seems to get you totally spinning at his fingertips.. move on Indy.. I don’t know if you will, you probably wont but it’s the only best and honest advice I can give. Move on, stop letting him use you.

Indy

October 9, 2016 at 7:13 pm

Sorry, I forgot to add I have started NC. He has a gig on on the 12th Nov, i was going to go with a male friend, but will that only cause him to get annoyed? and just bruise his ego, rather than re -ignite his feelings for me? Thankyou.
Indy

October 9, 2016 at 6:48 pm

Hi all, my name is Indy, I have been devouring your site, I can’t say how much I appreciate Chris as coming from a male, it is so good to get a male’s perspective on things!! And thankyou to all, as you are so good at helping!!
My ex had split up with his partner a year ago, after 3 years and he only really finished it up end of June. Him and I were seeing each other on and off for two years 23 years ago, and just after he asked me to get serious with him he ghosted me. Next I saw him he threw his engagement in my face. Later that night he said it was all for the best as I will keep on hurting you. But he also asked me to be friends and gave me their phone number. I never kept in touch.
Then 3 years ago I saw he was in a band and I also noticed in photo’s around 2010 he didn’t have a wedding ring on anymore. So I went to his gig and 3 gigs later he finally came up to me and told me he had recently married again which I thought may of been the case. I was stupid to have gone and seen the band again, I know. I was just hoping it wasn’t true and was hoping for us to get together after all these years. He told me he wasn’t happy in his marriage, and later me met up. He tried so hard to get me to have sex with him but I didn’t give in. I had already been on this site. Having said that I have kicked myself from here to eternity as I was still there behind the “wife’s” back and I told him over and over that I was being a hypocrite. We did catch up one more time, and again the same, him trying so hard to get me to have sex with him. Even though we didn’t, we did still “muck around” which I am horrified with myself. And I am sure he sees me as a cheater as I do myself.
We had talked a few times on the phone as well as texts, and one day he rang me and said his marriage was over and we could be together! His divorce hadn’t gone through at the time of their “marriage” so legally he wasn’t married, thought you should know that too. So we began seeing each other, though I had said no sex for awhile as he was still running back and forth to her. He didn’t know I knew that and when he was finally honest about that I blew up at him. Okay, I should of stayed away, I get that, but I knew he would lie as he lied to both of us, he denied me to her and then he lied to me about still being on and off with her. I knew where they lived and yes – wrong, but I did go and check for myself. He finally broke up with her for good in June and we were getting along fine. I hadn’t seen him as i’d been ill and we were also preparing the house to be sold.
He offered to come and help take boxes to the new place and I at last took him up on it once we were actually allowed to put boxes in the garage. He said he could possibly do a certain night and I was really appreciative of that. However, the day came and I texted him around 2pm asking how he was going and to keep me posted for tonight. He ghosted me and when I finally texted him around 9ish, he rang me back. I was upset as he hadn’t even bothered to text me and let me know one way or the other, and so I let the call go to voicemail. When I listened to the message, he raved on about his super day and how he was driving back from Werribee, so he could of texted or called me hours ago, as he is in real estate so he drives a lot, then – he bothered to say sorry I couldn’t hep you. Ok, he did offer to take me out to dinner to make up for it, but he has said this and, he has said this or we’ll meet up and cancel on me or, that he’d call me and wouldn’t, so he has let me down many times by now. So I answered him and told him “it wasn’t good enough” and I doubted that he would keep his word. Yes, I was angry.
I didn’t hear from him and last week I saw his fb and that he is in a relationship. Yet he told me he wouldn’t go public with me as he didn’t want to upset his now ex”wife”
I cracked it and texted him telling him he’s an arse. Then I apologised, told him as long as he was happy, then became a text gnat telling him I was the best and then messages of memories, and screwed everything up! He rang me the next day and went on about how this new girl accepts him the way he is and no one else has ever done that before. Then he mentioned my text to him after he’d had apologised for not helping me move and how he’d offered to take me out to dinner but i’d thrown that back in his face.
Then he told me, he has real feelings for her and that he can see forever with her. He’s been with her about 5 weeks now. Then he told me he doesn’t have feelings for me anymore and that I need to move on and find someone who will treat me like I deserve to be treated. He also told me that she had heard my calls and texts which means he was and is already living at her place. Then he told me she was upset that he is still in contact with me. Then he said he would ring that night, with her next to him and asked me to lie and say that yes he had asked me for sex, but I said no and that was that. He wanted me to lie to her so that she wouldn’t know how we had “mucked around” and that we haven’t really been in each others’ life for the last 2 years. I was shocked. Then, he said, I will owe you big time and I will find a way to make it up to you. Then, he said I will call you tomorrow, and again in a few days and you can talk to me about anything. Also, that he could talk to me about anything, as I am his mate. I was shocked again, why bother to keep in touch with me??
Then he asked me not to text him anymore, fair enough I get that, but kept saying he would ring me and he’d give me his work email. I texted him to say I couldn’t do the call that night I was in tears. He rang me, I ignored it, then he texted me to say he was in the car alone, please pick up. I did and he told me he was upset too. Upset about her or upset that I had told him “it wasn’t good enough”? I don’t know.
He said he’d set up the call for the next night and when I said why don’t you just tell her you’ve spoken to me and that’s that, he said he had lied to her and told her that he hadn’t spoken to me. Really!, lying to her already!, actually twice now, as he also told her that I would be asleep when he called and he knew I wouldn’t be. He said he would ring me the next day and in the morning I texted him to say I couldn’t handle talking to him just now or him give me his email, then he texted me asking could I please send him my surname, he forgot, and my email address. Why does he want these?? and also could I re send the memory messages as they aren’t on his phone anymore. Why would he want these when he’s told me he doesn’t have feelings for me anymore?? One last text too ask me to not text and I will email you shortly. But he didn’t. What is going on??
So is she a rebound? Have I lost my chance?? Thanking you all, and so appreciatively!! Indy.
Beverly

October 7, 2016 at 11:20 am

My boyfriend of over 6 years broke up with me a month ago because he said he wanted a break. Before he broke up with me he had been communicating with a girl who just recently lost her boyfriend in a tragic accident. They somehow became close as we were going through problems in our relationship at that moment. We lived together and 2 weeks before he asked for a break he began showing signs of cheating (staying out late and starting unnecessary arguments). I decided to move out to give him his space so that he can figure things out. I actually moved back to our home town where we both are from as he stayed in the city where we lived together. The girl also lives up there where we lived together so I feel like I pushed him on her more. We still talk almost everyday but its not always good because there is anger between us. I am mad at him because I feel that he allowed another woman to break up our home and he is mad at me because I moved back to our home town. Him and the girl have gotten even closer within the past month but he claims that they are just friends. I actually went through his phone before i moved out and found out that they had been spending time together and showing affection (calling each other “babe”) and secretly went out of town together. He has brought her to our hometown and she met his mother. She has tagged him in some photos of her on Fb and is always liking everything on his page. I can’t even go to his Fb page without seeing all of these pics of her but he wasn’t the one who uploaded the pics because she tagged him. He also likes most of her pics and posts on her page. They may not be in a relationship due to the fact that they both just got out of a serious relationship but I think its getting serious so fast and its only been about a month and a half (that I know of) of their little situationship. I still love him and I know that he still loves me. He even got my name tattooed on his arm and we talked about getting married and buying a house together a month before he broke it off. He gets very jealous at the fact of me moving on and seems to not want to let me go. I am hurt by all of his actions with this new chick but I definitely want him back. I feel that we were meant to be together and I feel that he is doing this because this is just new and exciting to him. I also feel like he doesnt want to feel lonely while im gone so he is trying to fill in a void. I have a lot of regrets about moving back home. I miss him so much and I am so lost without him. Meanwhile, he is up there with her building a new relationship. I have the chance to move back up there for a job but I don’t know if I have a chance of getting him back. I can’t believe he threw away 6 years and is already building a new relationship with another girl. I don’t know what to do but I do want him back. He is not being completely honest with me about the other girl and is making it seem like it is less than what it is. Should I move back up there and fight for his love? Should I stay home and let him continue getting close with the girl in their situation ship?

EBR Team Member: Amor

October 10, 2016 at 9:39 am

Hi Beverly,

at this point, if you are going to move back there, you have to do it for yourself, not because you want him back.. Because if you don’t get him back, then what happens? Do you move back home? And he’s in a grass is greener case.. Read the article that I’ll be linking below, so that you can have an idea of what your next step should be..

The Grass is Greener Syndrome For Ex Boyfriends

Vaness

October 6, 2016 at 4:59 am

My boyfriend of 2.5 years and I fell out about 6 weeks ago. We’ve been doing long distance for a year, and things have been going very well. However, when he returns for visits, it’s been stressful and it’s hard to spend time with him, much less feel like he’s committed in certain ways. I understand he has family and friends to visit too plus work to tackle; but I somehow always felt last on his list when he was in person.

During his last visit in August, we fought and there was silence. Just days before our fight he seemed in love and the same affectionate person I adore. We celebrated my birthday together. He even asked me to move to him. I was enthused. However, I still got frustrated when I felt he wasn’t planning on spending quality time with me on that visit. We fought and were in silence for two weeks. There had been no real break at that point. Then, when I reached out to apologize, he got angry at me for initiating the fight. He then said he was done and that he was already seeing another person, someone there.

I don’t know if this is true. I am praying and hoping it’s not because I heard through the grapevine that he’s going through family issues he didn’t want to share. Maybe it was a cover up? Maybe he said this to get back at me for picking the fight?

Anyhow, fast forward to now, and I miss him like crazy. I decided to reach out to him today since his company is putting on its annual conference, so I thought he would be back in town for that. It turns out not. In any case, I reached out. My letter did not bring up any bad memories nor did I come off as begging or being needy. I simply gave an update of me (subtly reminding him of the things he loved about me and shared memories) and hoped he was well. There was not even attenpts to rekindle anything let alone be friends.

Truthfully though, I haven’t stopped thinking about him. I just wish he would give us another chance. Our issues are not insurmountable.

Any advice for getting an ‘ex’ back in a long distance situation and possibly in a rebound? Any advice at all on how to salvage our relationship?!

FYI, his assignment abroad is temporary, and he will be back in a year.

Vaness

October 7, 2016 at 5:44 pm

Hi, Amor:

I thought I had been doing that in the past 5 weeks… though I admit it wasn’t ‘active’ since I was checking his Facebook and WhatsApp to check his statuses. Now that I have said my peace in the letter, I will go stick to ‘active’ NC. Takes will power, but I want to salvage our relationship.

It’s been two days and he hasn’t responded to my email.

I don’t know what to think, but I am still beside myself with worry.
EBR Team Member: Amor

October 7, 2016 at 5:05 pm

HI Vaness,

yes it wasn’t begging but it showed that you still want him back.. do you want to do the no contact rule?

Jo Jayne

October 5, 2016 at 7:49 am

My ex broke up with me a year and a half ago, but none of us could let go so we were basically still dating until 4 months ago.

When we cut ties completely (4 months ago), my ex instantly started seeing a girl that lives 4 hours away that he met on holiday the year before. We haven’t spoken since, other than me asking him to block me on social networking sites (Instagram) so that I don’t need to see him sprawling it all over the web. I’ve asked him once through a message, and called him twice asking. This has been over the space of a month. He still hasn’t blocked me. Why do you think he won’t block me? It’s driving me insane!

EBR Team Member: Amor

October 7, 2016 at 2:00 pm

it’s more probably because he still wants to be your friend someday and he knows your request was just emotional

Rebeka

October 4, 2016 at 2:19 pm

Hi, my boyfriend and I been together for about 5 half years, recently he has been going back to his home town every years. I found out he had some girl picture while he’s back there in his home town. I asked him what kind of relationship you and her , he said just someone he like. Everything of her reminded how me and him while we in high school. I asked him if he like her or not he didn’t say no, but I can tell his feeling for me had faded. We broke up but I still couldn’t ignore his text or call. When we hang out , he still want hold my hand, and do all those old things that we used to do.
What can I do to get him back ?
Will their relationship work out even though they are two world apart?
Is there chance for him to come back ?
Should I let him go or wait for him?
Please me!!! He’s my high school sweetheart since sophomore.

EBR Team Member: Amor

October 6, 2016 at 11:11 am

hi Rebeka,

you mean they’re together now? who broke up with who? do you want to do the no contact rule?

Rebeka

October 4, 2016 at 4:06 am

Hi, my friend and I been together for about 5 half years, recently he has been going back to his home town every years. I found out he had some girl picture while he’s back there in his home town. I asked him what kind of relationship you and her , he said just someone he like. Everything of her reminded how me and him while we in high school. I asked him if he like her or not he didn’t say no, but I can tell his feeling for me had faded. We broke up but I still couldn’t ignore his text or call. When we hang out , he still want hold my hand, and do all those old things that we used to do.
What can I do to get him back ?
Will their relationship work out even though they are two world apart?
Is there chance for him to come back ?
Should I let him go or wait for him?
Please me!!! He’s my high school sweetheart since sophomore.

EBR Team Member: Amor

October 6, 2016 at 11:11 am

hi Rebeka,

you mean they’re together now? who broke up with who? do you want to do the no contact rule?

trying to better myself

October 3, 2016 at 4:24 am

hi,
so my boyfriend broke up with me about two months ago, and i have not tried NC until now. in the past week has has fallen for a new girl, and they started dating (confessed on friday sept. 30). when we first broke up we talked nearly everyday, and one day about 5 days after we went back to his place and he agreed to be my boyfriend for one more day. and thats that. we were together for 10 and a half months, and had many of our firsts together. we had broken up several times before but he’s always come back- but this time he didnt. i dont know if i still have a chance, and he said that (before i started NC) the feelings he felt towards her were something that happened gradually. in these recent days i have not been okay, and he picked up on that. im sure thats one thing thats pushed him away, but the fact he got a girlfriend after telling me once we broke up that he would be single for a while hurts. over this NC period (and also their honeymoon period) im going to do my very best to better myself, making myself a better me. but the main thing i want to know is if i still have a chance. i do not plan to meddle with their relationship- im happy that he’s happy but i really do want him back, i still see myself with him. please help! id really appreciate it.

EBR Team Member: Amor

October 5, 2016 at 8:37 pm

Hi Trying to better,

It’s not that hugh, but he will still compare you to her so, be active in improving yourself and focus on that. Don’t think that after the no contact this will be a chance to continue your previous relationship. Forget about the previous relationship and do your best to make it seem that you have moved on and when you start talking to him again take it slow. Don’t move too fast that he will think you’re trying to get him back. Because he will be protective of his new relationship if you are moving too fast.

Suz

October 2, 2016 at 6:55 pm

I was with my ex boyfriend for 12 years and 2 kids later. 2 1/2 months ago, I got sick of the same old thing that I have been gripin about for the past year. Just stepping it up more and etc. He and I got into an argument and didn’t talk for 2 or 3 weeks and when we finally did we were both stubborn and hard headed that we wouldn’t own up to either thing. We talked about him moving out and he said he was but never did and then finally I put my foot down and told him he needed to step up or move out and came home after work and he was gone. I literally didn’t text him or call but he would randomly ask to stay. I thought for sure he would have stepped up and figured it out by now. But he hasnt. He has literally cut off trying to see me, be around his family or our friends and has totally become a different person. He texted me a month ago and told me how much he loved me and missed me and thinks he is getting worse and he is just lost. Then I never heard anything else. I have been doing good of not calling or texting him but about a week and a half ago he flipped out and thought I was talking to someone then started texting me randomly. But I didn’t respond. Then after last weekend he met a girl and has been seeing her and he took her out last night! It kills me. I said something to him this morning and I know I shouldn’t have but I don’t know what to do. I know he loves me but he is very stubborn and doesn’t express him emotions very much until he breaks. His mom told me she didn’t understand any of this because he was looking for rings and was going to propose not even a month before we split. I don’t understand it and I don’t know what to do? I’m torn with this girl he is talking to and it kills me! I just want my family back. HELP!

EBR Team Member: Amor

October 5, 2016 at 5:07 pm

Hi Suz,

Did you mean you got sick of waiting for him to propose? I think the other girl is a rebound. Is he still seeing your children? I know you haven’t been talking to him but have you been improving yourself too?

Jasmine

October 2, 2016 at 4:53 am

Hi. Yesterday I was at a party and it had been 1 week since my ex left me, saying he just doesnt feel like in the beginning. At the party I found out that he has been seeing a girl for 2 days now and I got so sad because I had hoped we could still get back together. I cried to my 3 best friends there about it and later the word about the breakup and him “replacing me” spored and everyone was talking about it. Later my one drunk friend started texting my ex angry and pleading messages even though I told her not to, and all of this must’ve made me look really bad .. Do I still have a chance of getting him back ? If yes, after 30 days of nc should I continue with the regular plan on how to get your ex back?

EBR Team Member: Amor

October 4, 2016 at 7:04 pm

Hi Jasmine,

it may have an effect but he will probably observe how you will react, if you don’t react in follow up to what your friend, he would probably think your friend is just being a good friend to you and that you had nothing to do with it.

Lou

October 1, 2016 at 2:22 pm

Hi everyone.
My ex an I were together for 5 years and he left me 4 times saying each time that we like different things and he couldn’t see where it was going. Each time, he’s ended up wanting me back within a month or so, saying he’s depressed and it’s me he wants. He was eager for us to have a baby together but I wanted us to be completely stable first. Theadt time he left was In May and yet again he was pleading with me to take him Bach within 6 weeks. This time I was ready to walk away and he said he’d been thinking about propsing to me in October (this mint). I stayed. He then left me 6 weeks ago for someone he met one night on their canoeing club trip abroad for 2 weeks. He has never been with anyone else before when we’ve broken up.88 people went and throughout the holiday he was texting me saying that he missed me, loved me and was looking forward to spending time together when he arrived home. We’d arranged to go away in October and he said he was looking forward to that. Then on the last but one night on his holiday he didn’t text and the next day he said the holiday had put things into perspective and we would talk when he got back. He came home and took off on his motorbike for 5 days without giving me any answers, saying he needed to sort his head out. When he came to see me he said he couldn’t see where we were going and needed to let me move on. This time he said he doesn’t love me as a partner, which he’s never said before. I found out s few days later from a mutual friend that he met someone that night on holiday and he’s now seeing her. 5 weeks down the line he’s calling her his new girlfriend and he’s taking her and his friend to the place we were booked in for later this month! So, they’ve been together for 6 weeks and we’re into 3 and a half weeks of no contact now. He text my cousin last week to wish him congratulations on his wedding which happened 2 weeks before the text. He took all of out photos down on Facebook about 2 hours after I’d posted photos of myself outside’our’ restaurant. I’m filling my time with the things I loved when we first met and just trying to make myself happy. But I can’t help feeling he will want to come back. If he did I think it would have to be a full commitment and a lot of changes and communication. But I still love and miss him so hope he will want to come back. I’m 14 years older than him and it’s never been a problem, people often think he’s older than me as he looks it and acts it, with lots of friends in their 40s. I’m 43, he’s 28. The woman he is with now is also in her 40s but older than me. What do you think?? Xxx

Lou

November 14, 2016 at 10:17 pm

Hey, it been a while since my last post. So, I did the 30 day no contact, made huge improvements with myself, got back into skydiving, lost a stone and a half and been active on Facebook in a positive way. Assuming you can still see my history, I won’t repeat it all again. So now it’s been 3 months since we broke up and since the 30 day nc, I text him saying I’d be going to a place he does voluntary work for sometimes and wasn’t sure if he’d be there but wanted to give him the heads up if be there that day with my nephew. He replied straight away saying he wouldn’t be there that day but wished is a good day and went on to say how it had changed since o last went there ( it’s a monkey sanctuary). He asked how I was and my family. I replied saying everyone is good and my mother was having a tee cut down(he was going to do this for her). He replied telling me how much it should cost and if more it’s too much. I didn’t reply to that and left it 2 weeks and then sent a text saying I was at the beach and had to text him as if found a stone similar to the one I found with him when we first met( a stone with a natural hole through it which he’d searched years for). I said it made me think of him and smile. He didn’t reply. So 2 weeks later I text again, genuinely asking if he’d transferred a financial matter of mine back to my email access I’d had no emails. I also asked how everyone was dong and if he’d been up to.anything exciting. Told him I’m on a place where I’m ready to be friends and hope sometime soon we can meet for a catch .He replied coldly saying he hadn’t had time to swap things back to my email account. That was it. So I replied saying no worries and I hope I hadn’t offended him and wanted to be friends. He replied with a brief message saying no hard feelings, he’s glad I’m in a good place and he had a cold, apart from that things are great. I replied asking if he felt like a coffee purely as friends before Xmas. He didn’t reply. They 3 weeks later, a few days before my birthday he text out of the blue at 4 pm saying he didn’t know if I was going away for my birthday so wanted to wish me a happy birthday. I replied hours later saying i wasn’t going away and was going to watch a rugby game. He replied saying he hadn’t seen any rugby this season yet and asked how one of out favor players was performing. I replied saying he hadn’t missed much and fingers crossed for next game. He didn’t reply with. That was 5 days ago. I’ve no idea if he’s still with the girl he left me for. My dilemma now is….. Should I contact him with something friendly or should I wait? I didn’t think I’d hear from him again and found it strange that he text a few days before my birthday to wish me happy birthday when he’s almost 3 months into a relationship he left me for. Xxx
EBR Team Member: Amor

November 15, 2016 at 7:04 pm

Hi Lou,

maybe he is being nice, because you are being nice. The only way you’ll know if you can build rapport, is to initiate again.
Lou

October 7, 2016 at 9:38 am

Also he told me that he considers me as a close friend and will always be there if I need him and that will never go away. And the cousin I mentioned that he text to congratulate 2 weeks after his wedding, he has only met about 5 times as he lives far away. He has never sent him a text in our 5 years together. My cousin didn’t reply and was a bit baffled as to why he would text him now. He wants a baby and knows I do too. This other woman looks at least 46. And the photo I added on Facebook outside our restaurant was of me there recently. If he saw it he would have been wondering who I was there with. He deleted our photos 2 hours after I’d posted that. Could be coincidence but he still has other exes photos on his Facebook, just not mine. And right up to the point he got with her he was texting me all along saying he couldn’t wait to see me and loves me. Xx
EBR Team Member: Amor

October 7, 2016 at 2:06 pm

well, it still looks like he’s just wanting a new experience.. and more likely him removing your pictures was a reaction to your post.. so, that means he’s probably checking you.
Lou

October 5, 2016 at 10:35 am

Thanks. That’s kind of what I’ve been thinking. She is nothing like me and also looks a lot older. I’m a young 42 year old and have a lot of younger friends. I’m a skydiver but haven’t jumped for 2 years. But at the weekend I got back up there and did 2 jumps and am looking forward to the next. I’ve been out walking alone and climed a famous mountain and got a photo at the summit 2 weeks ago. It’s all on Facebook but were no longer friends on Facebook. I wonder if he thinks about me at all or had a peek at my account? His new woman is not attractive in the traditional sense, I feel bad for saying that but it’s true. She rides a motorcycle like he does and does conoing like him. I’m wondering if it is a rebound or if it could be the real thing. It’s moved so so fast, but I remember he told me he loved me after 6 weeks and within 3 months we’d booked a holiday to Cuba! What I’m asking is, after a history of 5 years, can jumping straight into a relationship with someone you met one night on your canoeing trip really work out most of the time? Or do these type of relationships tend to fail? Do you think there is a good chance of him coming back given the history? Thank you for listening! X
EBR Team Member: Amor

October 4, 2016 at 4:26 pm

Hi Lou,

hmm.. looks like a grass is greener case and that they’re in the honeymoon stage now.. The best you can do is to keep improving yourself.. If you had done that, that’s good but if you haven’t, you have to start the count now and do 45 days before initiating again and when you initiate, just be friendly.

K

September 30, 2016 at 9:09 am

I know he is single now, so I want to iniciate texting before he starts seeing someone(he restarted dating site last weekend, we met through the it too. )

It has been 3 weeks with restarting of NC.. I think the situation will be harder if he is dating someone… Do you think it is okay?? I broke NC on Sep 10th(3 weeks of NC) and I am on NC rule for another 3weeks again)
I almost got over the situation(he broke off the wedding a week before the big day..)
Now I kinda accept he got out of my life.. I am traveling all around the world by myself.. Reflecing on myself.. But I want to reconcile our relationship..(long distance now)

It has been 3 weeks of restarting NC but since he is single and wanting to start dating obiously, should I iniciate texting? Or should I wait more??

He never texted me first and when I broke NC and texted him, he gave me cold and short reply…

Please give me advice:) thank you so much!

EBR Team Member: Amor

September 30, 2016 at 7:01 pm

Yep, it’s ok to initiate and then follow the advice above on how to text him while he has a gf, if he has gf.. Even if you’re long distance, you can still apply it. The social media posts will serve as you being present.

brooke

September 30, 2016 at 6:38 am

Hi EBR team,

My BF and I met online and dated long distance for 6 months. I live in New Zealand and he lives in London, but he flew all the way to see me for his birthday and immediately after the trip he booked additional trips to visit throughout the rest of the year. He also started talking about saving money to move to New Zealand to be with me.
Just as he was about 4 weeks from visiting the second time a lot of things were happening in my life and his as well, we started contacting from twice a day to one or two messages a day and a call here and there.. 2 weeks before he came I asked him to be there for me and got a bit needy, so he cancelled the trip and broke it off with me saying he has a lot going on and wasn’t in a position to support someone and be in a relationship. It’s now been 6 weeks and I found out he started seeing someone in London.

Given the distance between us should I just give up? I don’t want to, but I feel that there’s nothing I can do anymore.

brooke

October 2, 2016 at 3:42 pm

A couple of days ago he messaged me but I have not yet replied.. he is on a solo road trip he in Bordeaux and took a picture of a winery and sent it over.
EBR Team Member: Amor

October 1, 2016 at 2:31 pm

Hi Brooke,

Why not try no contact rule first? if it doesn’t work, then you can move on. When did you last talk?

Amy

September 28, 2016 at 8:27 am

Me and my ex boyfriend split up the beginning of the year after 6 years together we also lived together. Soon after break up he wanted me back but I didn’t at the time due to health and stress reasons. Now for the past couple of months I have realised how much I love him and want him back. We met up for the first time since break up (it was very emotional) and I told him how I felt. He said he wished I would have told him This months ago as he has been seeing someone new for a couple of months. He said he will never love or care about anyone like me and he still loves me but he wants to give this new girl a chance. He also bad months her to me about her appearance not having a car etc. I did send him quite a few emails and he is now totally ignoring me and I have just started the no contact rule. Is this a rebound relationship and can i get him back? Or has he truly moved on

EBR Team Member: Amor

September 29, 2016 at 10:51 am

Hi Amy,

if he doesnt love her, then it’s probably a rebound

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