How To Get Your Ex Back When He's Moved On To A New Girl

3,819 thoughts on “Has He Moved On? How To Get Him Back If He Has A Girlfriend”

Smitha

September 27, 2016 at 8:20 am

My boyfriend brokeup with me 2 months back saying he still has feeling for his ex. Recently he tried to contact me. He apologized but he said he’s still dating the other girl. How can I get him back?

Smitha

September 29, 2016 at 7:12 am

We were saying for almost 4 months. He was serious with me.We both were very much focused on our relationship. But when he started speaking to go ex, he began to ignore me. Then broke up with me saying I have feelings for her. It’s since two months they both are together now. Recently we met and he told me he is serious about her but he still misses me. And again he stopped talking to me. What should I do now? I really can’t forget him
EBR Team Member: Amor

September 30, 2016 at 9:43 pm

Try out the advice in that podcast.. If he misses you that’s a good sign but don’t be an easy girl and don’t just hold on to that word. Improve yourself, give the other girl a good competition.
EBR Team Member: Amor

September 28, 2016 at 1:38 pm

Hi Smitha,

There is no guarantee that you will get him back.. How long were you together? It looks like you’re a rebound.
check this one:
EBR 034: Are YOU The Rebound For Your Ex Boyfriend?

Jennifer

September 25, 2016 at 8:16 am

I was dating a guy for seven months – never fought and had a great time together. I then hit a difficult time when another ex (who had been abusive) contacted me through friends. Although I had no interest in the abusive ex it turned me into an emotional, needy person and my new boyfriend of 7 months ended things. This was 6 weeks ago. I’ve since found out he started dating someone else almost immediately, which is killing me. I met up with him last week, told him I still had feelings for him, but he said he didn’t feel that way any more. I’m now doing NC for 45 days and then plan to contact him again. Have I already ruined things by telling him I still have feelings for him? I also told him I would be going NC. Is it possible to get someone back when we were only dating for 7 months? Please help!

Jennifer

September 25, 2016 at 6:08 pm

Hi Amor

I didn’t specifically explain about NC, I just told him that I couldn’t stand to see him with other people so I would need to back away for a while, give myself time and really move on and get over him (even though I can’t!). He told me he thought this was a good idea.

I should also just say that I really feel there is still a connection there. He told me I looked nice, kept touching my hand whilst talking to me, walked me back to the station arm in arm afterwards. He also says he still cares for me and wants to be friends. Do you think there’s any hope of him coming back even if he’s got into a new relationship so quickly? And he seems so close with the new girl – she has met his family and has gone to big events with him already even though they’ve only been together 6 weeks.

Any advice would be much appreciated!
EBR Team Member: Amor

September 26, 2016 at 8:51 am

Oh, that’s good. Yes, I think there’s still a chance. I don’t think he thinks you’re going to do very well during nc so, make the most of it by improving massively. Use this time that he still misses you, to miss you more by being great.
EBR Team Member: Amor

September 25, 2016 at 2:56 pm

Hi Jennifer,

what did you mean that you told him you are going nc? You told you’re not going to talk to him anymore in a specific number of days or just not talk to him anymore?

Ashley

September 25, 2016 at 1:28 am

Hey
I just want to know that will no contact rule help me in getting my ex back when we have been separated for whole one year and now he has a new girlfriend

EBR Team Member: Amor

September 25, 2016 at 11:26 am

Hi Ashley,

There’s no guarantee that it will in any circumstance. I think you need to read this one to help you think about if you still want to try rebuilding rapport with him.
The Guide To Getting Him Back After A Year (Or More) Apart

Sian

September 24, 2016 at 10:32 am

Me and my ex split up 3 months ago. I initiated the break up because I felt we needed some time apart. We have 2 kids together so breaking all contact is very hard. I have just learned he is seeing a new girl and he feels the need to text me a about there sex life which really nauseated me!! Why would he do this? To make me jealous? I told him I’ve moved on and so has he so let’s be civil. This was after me asking if he wanted to give it another try and me being made to feel like a worthless idiot! Now he is very angry calling me vile names every time he picks up the kids because he found out I had seen another guy 1 time. I don’t get why he’s angry if he’s seeing someone else! Any advice please

Sian

September 25, 2016 at 8:57 am

I had asked him this a few weeks back to which he replied no..he was seeing somebody else and he didn’t want to try again because he knew nothing would change, so I decided to try and move on..but the truth is I can’t move on he’s constantly on my mind. It kills me not speaking to him every day. I’m trying to put a brave face on when he comes to see the kids and act like I’m happy but it’s breaking me apart. But now that I’ve started speaking to someone else (just friendly by the way) it’s like he thinks he’s got some kind of hold on me.. I seriously don’t know what’s going on in his head.
EBR Team Member: Amor

September 25, 2016 at 3:00 pm

Oh..Right now, that’s more of ego.. start improving yourself. Get your life and self back. Put that first. You’ve done what you ca and you’ve chased. It’s time to put yourself first now. And let’s hope he realizes your worth when he sees you’re serious about moving on and not chasing anymore.. Especially that you’re greatly improving..
EBR Team Member: Amor

September 24, 2016 at 9:10 pm

Hi Sian,

I’m confused. Correct me if I’m wrong, You told him you moved on but you also asked him if you and him can give it another try?
Being jealous can mean he still has feelings for you, but it can also mean he’s just being possessive. That he’s used to you being his, so he’s ego is hurt that you’re moving on.

Sarah

September 23, 2016 at 5:42 pm

I dated a man for almost a year and we were engaged. At that time I had a son at home and was very busy with all his highschool activities and we basically split because of the lack of time we had together. That was two years ago.

About six weeks ago my ex calls and wants to talk. I called him back and we chatted a bit. Since that conversation we have text back and forth and even called and skyped. Recently the old feelings have started coming back for the both of us. He told me how much he has missed me and that we always had something special. Problem is he has a girlfriend now. They have been together about a year. He continues to tell me that he misses me and wants us to try again and I truly believe him but he hasn’t told the girlfriend yet.

I don’t know how long I should give him but in the meantime its driving me crazy knowing they are together. I don’t know if he is scared of getting back together or doesn’t know how to end it.

I feel like I need to just pull back and let him be. Then again I feel like he would think I was abandoning him.
Suggestions

Sarah

September 28, 2016 at 9:45 pm

I did. He keeps telling me how complicated it is. I think I just need to let that go and move on. ive read that if a man really wants you he will do whatever he has to do to be with you. I don’t see much effort on his part.
EBR Team Member: Amor

September 30, 2016 at 4:31 pm

Yeah.. I agree!
EBR Team Member: Amor

September 24, 2016 at 3:15 pm

Hi Sarah,

well, shouldn’t he be thinking that if he doesn’t break up with his girlfriend he would lose you? Have you told him that?

June

September 23, 2016 at 12:33 pm

Thanks for the reply. I agree with what you say. I just want to clarify that he wasn’t a FWB. He asked me to be his girlfriend and We dated for a year. First for 7 months, then for 5. It wasn’t until the last breakup that he tried to downgrade things to FWB. We spent a great deal of time together and got along very well. Never fought. He always said how happy I made him. He really wanted to remain friends….or said he did. We never fought or had bad words. It wasn’t until I finally got emotional about things that he went more distant. I always gave him space and was never clingy with the exception of a couple instances of over texting. Should I never reach out even as a friend in the future?

EBR Team Member: Amor

September 24, 2016 at 10:27 am

Oh sorry! I misinterpreted what you said when you said you made a mistake of sleeping with him once. Or if you meant, it was just once, so you’re not really fwb right?

You can reach out as a friend in the future, but it would be better if you do that once you’ve really moved on.

Amber

September 22, 2016 at 7:24 pm

My ex fiance of 5 years broke up with me less than a month ago because he felt that my personal problems (I have depression and a chronic illness which I had been neglecting to take care of) were keeping me from pulling my weight of the relationship (which admittedly was true, I wasn’t there for him emotionally). He said that this changed his feelings for me, but that he still loved and cared about me. He wanted to keep in contact since we were best friends before our relationship started. We were talking pretry regularly, even flirting, and whenever we met in person to let him see our dogs (as I had taken them with me after the break up) he would always flirt with me and hint that we would get back together at some point, and that he hoped I had been making changes for myself and not just him.
Well, not long ago his phone broke, so he had been finding other ways to contact me and talk, such as using the computer at his job or using a friend’s phone.
After not talking to him for this past weekend, he suddenly posts on Facebook that he has a new girlfriend and that she makes him happy. After seeing that, i unfriended him to block some of the hurt.
He stopped by the other day to pick up some of his stuff that got mixed up with mine, and again talked to me like old times and even hinted again that we could get back together (“who knows what the future will be”). He mentioned nothing of his new girlfriend except for when I asked him if he loved her, to which he replied that “we just started dating, I like her.” When he left he hugged me and said that he would message me when he could and that we should get together soon for coffee or take the dogs to the dog park together. It was very pleasant and left me feeling very hopeful.
After that I re-sent a friend request, feeling different after everything that he had said. I didn’t hear from him the next day, and jokingly messaged him that he didn’t stick to his word. I mentioned that I enjoyed our talk, no matter how short the time we spent together, and said that I would love to give us a second chance and work on things together rather than apart. He sent me a message back today stating that “I don’t want to be rude but I’m not accepting your friend request and I don’t want to play games and go back and forth with you. I don’t know what you want me to say that I haven’t already. It’s also messed up that you ask me to take you back after I start dating someone else. You need to just let me be happy.”
I confronted him about how he had been sending mixed messages but he has not answered.

Of note: he still is using other means to talk to me because he doesn’t have a new phone yet, and he works with the girl he’s dating (she started a day or two before we broke up.)
I also think it’s worth mentioning that his mom and dad both died from chronic illnesses and he witnessed both of their deaths. He had expressed to me in the past that he didn’t want to go through the same thing with me.

Can someone help me understand?

EBR Team Member: Amor

September 23, 2016 at 3:59 pm

Hi Amber,

looks like she’s a rebound.. Do you want to try doing no contact so that it can help everything be clear? I think continuing to talk to him is not helping

Juliette

September 21, 2016 at 10:48 pm

So i am 17 and still in high school. I was dating this guy for about 4 months and about 2 weeks ago he decided to leave me for another girl who has been trying to get him to date her for months by creating fake love letters, hanging out at his work, proclaiming her feeling for him and creating a fake boyfriend to make him jealous for a while. He then told a lot of people from school that we broke up and I flipped and posted about what he did then he did the same, and contacted the other girl, and went to his mom to tell her about how about a week before he had gotten me really drunk to the point of throwing up with his 8 year old sister home and then invited the other girl and some of her friends over after all while his parents were on vacation. He then lost his car, a concert, his parents trust, and 100$. His parents then started to hate him for what he did to me along with a lot of the people from school.
I then tried to go to his work and talk to him but he ended up storming out walking home and threatening me. After that i locked myself in my car off this back road where we used to go to have sex. I then stayed there until my parents came and called him to come to talk me down. After this our parents called our phone companies and got our numbers blocked by each other. I have to sit next to him every day so the no contact rule hasnt worked at all.
His family currently hates the girl for drinking around his sister and want nothing to do with her but they can’t stop him from seeing her. They also have really only hung out in groups together and haven’t done anything intimate yet.
He kept claiming that i was holding him back anf that this girl doesn’t which is why he wanted to be with her instead but that only came up on the day he tried to dump me. They have been seeing each other for 12 days now and he is determined she is perfect and he wants me to just be his friend. I still love him and want him back do I have a chance?

EBR Team Member: Amor

September 23, 2016 at 12:03 pm

Hi Juliette,

You need to do 45 days no contact.. I know it hurts a lot but chasing him and or staying in that state will not help you. Don’t be the bad guy in their relationship because that just makes him want to defend her. Make it seem that you have moved on..

June

September 21, 2016 at 6:19 pm

I’m 42. Divorced 4.5 years with a 10 and 13 year old. I met a man who was going through his 4th divorce over a year ago. We hit it off and though it wasn’t easy dating him through his divorce he wanted to be with me. We dated for 7 months. I had Thanksgiving dinner and met his whole family. The next day he went cold and acted distant. He then broke up with me saying I hadn’t introduced him to my kids or my life as the reason. 2 months later he wanted me back and said that the kids had to be involved. He met them once after that. I continued to give him space and support him through his divorce. When his divorce was final in June he told me how he couldn’t believe I stood by him and how I was the best part of his life. Through this entire time he told me he was “terrified” of love and didn’t know if he could do it again. After his divorce in June we were going away for the weekend. He was watching his sisters dog while he was out of town and had to meet up with her best friend to return the dog. This friend of his sisters had made it clear she wanted him almost a year prior. She broke up with her boyfriend at the same time they were meeting up to exchange the dog. After our trip, the reality of the divorce started setting in. He became distant. We were to leave for a trip in July. For 2 days before, I heard nothing from him. We went on the trip. While on the trip we were on the way to dinner for my birthday. I saw his sisters friends name pop up on his phone. I couldn’t see it and didn’t mention it. The next day we were at a restaurant and I happened to mention that my son wanted to see where he lived. He totally freaked out and said he was “terrified of getting attached” I said to who – me, my kids or both? He then said he didn’t want to ruin the rest of the trip by talking about it. I know he wasn’t lying. I saw true terror and fear on his face. In any case, the trip was ruined and with no discussion he decided we should leave a few days early to head home. He broke up with me a few days later stating that he “wasn’t feeling what he should and didn’t know why” He said he wasn’t looking for romance, just female friends. I went total NC for a month. After that I texted him in a weak moment and at that time he offered me to be FWB. I made the mistake of sleeping with him once and then after several days I decided I couldn’t do it and told him so. We tried to be friends but I had a meltdown and told him after being downgraded and discarded I needed space and time to heal. A few days later I apologized and tried to discuss things. He got annoyed with me. I got upset and deleted him from FB thinking it was best for both of us. I sent him another text the next morning apologizing for things getting ugly and said I was accepting of the breakup but that didn’t mean I wasn’t still hurt. He replied kindly saying I was a true friend and how wonderful I was to him. 10 days later I reached out again in a weak moment. He was polite, yet short and then stopped replying. I believe that the next day he sent his sisters friend flowers. I plan to go NC again. Do I need to cut my losses and move on or is there hope of reconciliation?

EBR Team Member: Amor

September 23, 2016 at 10:15 am

Hi June,

for me you should move on.. There’s a chance that he would try again because you’ve been fwb but it’s just not the right time. And I think it would be a long time for you to totally heal and for him to be ready for a serious relationship again. He just wants to enjoy right now. No commitments.

EBR Team Member: Amor

September 20, 2016 at 7:03 pm

Hi Lost and heartbroken,

There was only one pending comment in the same email address, if it’s that, I just haven’t reached it yet. Sorry about that! It does look like a rebound because it’s too soon. That’s good that you’re not going to stop seeing your friends, because it’s your right to keep seeing them.

Anyway, if all you have are fond memories, that’s good! Why? Because when he sees you’ve improved, he’ll be attracted to you and remember the good times, and he’ll miss that more when they’re over the honeymoon period and start to have fights..
naynay

September 19, 2016 at 4:30 pm

I was with my ex for 5 years we broke up the last year and come to find out he had a girlfriend for that whole year. He seem madly in love with her. and I haven’t tried the no contact rule, I don’t know how to get him back.

EBR Team Member: Amor

September 21, 2016 at 2:33 pm

Hi Naynay,

when did you break up? He had a girlfriend at the same time with you for a whole year? Do you want to try what’s advised above?

So Confused

September 18, 2016 at 5:38 am

I met a guy last year(2015)after I told my friend I needed someone to help me with an economics tutor because I was having a hard time with the module,my friend connected me with her guy friend,who then transferred me to his colleague.He helped me through whatsapp that same night,he was patient with me and cared about my academics.That was in march,I was 7 months single at that time,he was also single and new in town.we started dating in may,I felt so loved and cared for,also because he was involved in my school work.we were so much in love,it was a matured relationship,he talked about the future,he had dreams and he was doing so well for himself,nice job ,nice car,nice apartment.Trouble started when he accused me of cheating,this was because other guys were chatting with me on whatsapp(which I never entertained),I tried explaining to him how this was a very big misunderstanding,he “forgave” mr,then after a month he dissapered,then called me after two weeks to make up,he apologized,then we were fine.Again after a month he disappeared again,I thought that was the end of our relationship,I told him I wana fetch my stuff(for real this time)coz the other times I’d go there and we’d end up having sex without solving the issue.i fetched my staff,we still continued but I was not feeling it,I told him I felt unwanted,as if we’re forcing the relationship.All of a sudden he was a complete new person,drinks too much,got a lot of girls in his life,talks to me like a friend.I last saw him on valentines day this year,where he was all over me,promising me marriage and kids and all of the nice things,that same day he drove me home and i haven’t seen him since,for a while i asked him what was going on,he just went “i dunno what to say”.
.i left it at that.Went 6 months NC,he actually left me for another girl someone he met at a club,she’s so different from me in every aspect,I’m focused,down to earth,social and fun,she seems to be easy going and just flowing to any direction.My ex boyfriend called in August (after 6 months of NC)it was at 12 midnight,he got cold feet and promised on calling the next day(which he never did).I then went to his Facebook with my sister’s phone since i blocked him in my account,i learned that he left me in Feb then got on with that girl in April,they were on and off in their 2 months relationship,he kept posting negative things about how pretty girls cheat,he was just so negative about relationships.they blocked each other on facebook with the girl.He was alone for about 2 months then reached out to me.while i was waiting on that call he promised i was so hurt to see that he’s back with the girl,i don’t know why he even bothered calling me at night.During that 6 months of not talking,he actually blocked me on whatsapp,now he unblocked me,he’s flaunting her on whatsapp,i act like i don’t see what’s going.He even got her a promise ring two days after they got back together,just last night i changed my number,i want to heal without seeing all that he’s putting on whatsapp as it kills me coz i still love him so much.Oh i forgot to mention that i sent him a very long SMS a few days after his call,i told him in tired of his mind games and that he should leave me alone it was a nice SMS where i got to speak out of how I’m feeling,he didn’t answer,instead he stared flaunting his new girl,and apparently she stays in my hood,though I’ve never seen her,and the guy stays an hour away.please help.I’m really confused right now.

So Confused

September 21, 2016 at 2:16 am

It was exactly a month ago,I still miss him a lot and it almost feels like me changing my number didn’t hurt him,actually everything I’ve done to ignore him doesn’t seem to hurt him,I really would feel so much better to know he’s missing me and that he’s hurt coz he can no longer reach me,and the other thing is that we don’t have mutual friends to actually tell me how his new relationship is going,the promise ring really shook me
EBR Team Member: Amor

September 22, 2016 at 8:54 pm

then move as if he has moved on. If he has moved on, and he sees or talks to you, would he think you have moved on too? Would he be attracted to you? Or would he just think you still haven’t moved on from him and that you might be a threat to his new relationship?
So Confused

September 18, 2016 at 6:08 am

Oh just to add,I’m doing my final year at university ,we are both 24 but he works the other girl is 22 also still at school
EBR Team Member: Amor

September 20, 2016 at 1:19 pm

Hi So Confused
so when exactly was that last text from you? And how much have you improved since then?

Help

September 17, 2016 at 10:12 am

So my boyfriend broke up with me 5 months ago after we had been dating for 3 and 1/2 years. He now has a new girlfriend who he seems to be madly in love with and I don’t know what to do to get him back. I tried no contact which didn’t work and now we see each other quite a lot at our friends parties but I feel like I keep saying the wrong things and making myself appear more unattractive. Please help, I don’t know what to do to get him back again

EBR Team Member: Amor

September 19, 2016 at 1:21 pm

Hi Help,

did you improve during and after no contact? Did you say anything about you wanting him back?

krystal

September 16, 2016 at 6:17 pm

hi, i was with my bf for 20 months before i initiated a breakup because i couldnt accept him flirting with other girls at his workplace even though many times he had promised me to not be so friendly to other girls. we broke up for almost 2 months plus now and i still miss him and want to be with him again even after he cause me depression and didnt bother about me. he is together with a girl two years older than our age 6 days after we broke up. will i still have a chance to get him back? he is going army soon and i heard that he had plan an overseas trip with the girl next year feb. i really loved him and it breaks my heart when i see how he created a new instagram account of the girl and add all our mutual friends in.the last time we met, he scream at me and use very hurtful words on me. i have done all i could and give in a lotof times to him hoping he would change but he didnt. i feel disappointed and angry whenever i thought of the things he did to me in the past but i really loved him and hope for him to come back to me.is there anything that i can do to help him remember the good times we had together instead of the arguments we had.i really dont wan to waste this relationship… hope to hear some advice.thank you so much.

krystal

September 16, 2016 at 6:19 pm

he ended up getting together with the girl 2 years older than us from his korean cafe workplace.
EBR Team Member: Amor

September 19, 2016 at 6:10 am

Hi Krystal,

When did you last talk? I’m assuming you didn’t actually start no contact rule and improve yourself in the last two months.. Do you want to try what’s advised above?

Jake

September 16, 2016 at 4:42 pm

I’m interested to see if this works. Yeah I was bored so I read the comments section. Love sounds like a freaking horrible, disgusting abomination by the way I think this has traumatised me
Patricia

September 15, 2016 at 2:53 pm

Why exactly is it a bad situation if he left you for someone else? Does it always make him untrustworthy if he accidentally fell for someone else (especially if the relationship wasn’t happy at that moment)? What if they were friends or something and it just happened that they fell for each other? I don’t necessarily think that makes him a cheater or untrustworthy but I am willing to consider that. ?

Patricia

October 13, 2016 at 9:34 pm

It’s upsetting because I was on Day 16, and keep having to sort of re-start. It seems like everything he emails me about must be answered and turns out to be nothing at all.
EBR Team Member: Amor

October 14, 2016 at 2:00 pm

then the last time should be the last..
Patricia

October 13, 2016 at 2:50 pm

I responded if it’s something that can be shipped over and he wrote back:

“Sorry,
I thought it was yours but it was my sister’s.
Disregard last email.”
EBR Team Member: Amor

October 13, 2016 at 7:05 pm

well, don’t respond again, if he texts you about anything..
Patricia

October 13, 2016 at 2:02 pm

So should I respond? If so, how?
Patricia

October 11, 2016 at 8:40 pm

I just got an email (to my work email) from him that says: “I have something that belong to you.” I am doing NC until October 28th (and have had to break it because of belongings, and him calling me 4 times at work to yell at me about something etc. etc.) I am not sure I feel comfortable breaking NC AGAIN since it’s been so stop and go. It’s been about 2.5 weeks since I restarted it. We broke up August 5 and I did all the usual begging, crying, showing up etc. So I don’t want to break it unless I have to.
EBR Team Member: Amor

October 11, 2016 at 8:57 pm

that’s good.. it looks like he’s just using it to keep seeing you
Patricia

September 30, 2016 at 3:30 pm

How long does the honeymoon last? Seems like they have been at least falling for each other since end of July. He said he’s in love on September 9th. Isn’t the honeymoon 6 months at least? I am worried.
EBR Team Member: Amor

October 1, 2016 at 3:55 pm

The honeymoon period depends on how fast or slow their relationship. If they seem to be doing everything all at once then the honeymoon period can end earlier.. She will probably be insecure when he texts you more.. If you’ve built attraction he will not help it but text you more or be less attentive with you her, she’ll notice that and get curious.
Patricia

September 28, 2016 at 2:03 pm

Then he called AGAIN and I answered and he said do you want to meet? And I said NO. and I said Why do you want to talk? And he hurriedly got off the phone. Then he emailed: “Its fine. Really – Hope that you leave me alone and to please do not be coming back for nothing – I really wish you the best in all. – I just wanted to make sure that you wont hurt me in any way! Thats all” So I wrote back: ‘If you will notice, I have not been contacting you, and if you know me at all, I am not interested in hurting anyone, including you. Best wishes in your new life.” And he wrote: “I have noticed it. And trust me I know you! I just got a text from V [the mutual friend] and it triggers something from the past. I will leave alone also. I have no hard feelings.” Then I said “There are two sides to everything, and if I felt like it I would explain it to you but honestly I don’t feel like it” and he said “hey no need to explain anything. lets drop it.” Then I wrote “Great, I wish you well in life.” This is getting so negative! I didn’t even contact him or want to respond.
EBR Team Member: Amor

September 28, 2016 at 4:13 pm

I think you handled it well.. at least you held your ground..just continue on with no contact and avoid talking about him or checking up on him through other forms
Patricia

September 27, 2016 at 6:37 pm

Ugh. I ignored it and he wrote “i need an answer. if you don’t want to talk just say it. but please stop annoying ppl.” he’s super annoyed that i talked to his friend and “bothered her” I think. 🙁 This ruins my whole strategy. What should I do now??
Patricia

September 27, 2016 at 3:53 pm

I didn’t respond to that email, and an hour later he called me at work, and said that we needed to talk. I said “what? by phone?” and he said not by phone. And he said that he was not a phone person, and to respond to his email when I can meet. I think it’s about our mutual friend but not sure. He sounded really agitated/angry on the phone 🙁
Patricia

September 27, 2016 at 3:12 pm

Oh no, I think I have screwed things up a bit. I had been FB messaging with a mutual friend of ours about it, and I think she thought I was being self-absorbed and not asking enough about her life :/ so she got upset with me about it. She said she might contact him about it. I apologized but today he just emailed “WE NEED TO TALK!” So he’s prob angry I’m talking to her about it.
Patricia

September 27, 2016 at 12:12 pm

He emailed me “do you have my weights?” And I responded awhile later “yes I do.” And then he wrote back “that’s what I thought. You can keep them!” Strange bc I know he already knew I have them.
EBR Team Member: Amor

September 28, 2016 at 2:43 pm

Looks like he was just trying to check if you will reply
Patricia

September 24, 2016 at 2:55 pm

He bought her a bicycle 🙁 with a basket. Is there no hope ??? :'(
EBR Team Member: Amor

September 25, 2016 at 8:19 am

They’re in the honeymooon phase, it’s normal that he would be sweet to her.
Patricia

September 21, 2016 at 8:33 pm

I just received this email from him: “i feel if i interact with you now, u will be coming into my life and use anything against me! It’s a bad feeling! I owe u an apology somehow, i feel i’m not ready!” (English second language for him). i’m not responding because my 45 day no contact is supposed to go to like October 22nd?
EBR Team Member: Amor

September 23, 2016 at 11:31 am

That’s good. Don’t respond.
Patricia

September 19, 2016 at 3:37 pm

In this case, is there a chance of getting him back? I am prettier (objectively) but she may be funnier or something like that. He seems in love. I’m really hoping it’s just a rebound or something!
EBR Team Member: Amor

September 21, 2016 at 2:08 pm

I dont think it’s a rebound because a rebound is used to get over somebody else. Grass is greener means he sees her better than you.. There is a chance if you continually improve yourself once their honeymoon period is over and then slowly rebuild rapport again
EBR Team Member: Amor

September 18, 2016 at 2:01 pm

In that case, that means he saw her as a grass is greener case and had been emotionally cheating, even though he didn’t meant. It’s not as bad as intentional cheating though..

Kansas

September 14, 2016 at 6:16 pm

My ex broke up with me the end of June, I made all the wrong moves and tried to beg for him to come back. He continued talking to me up until a month ago. I would go without talking to him and he would reach out. one month ago he came to my house laid in my bed we talked about our relationship we had sex and then he told me that we couldn’t talk anymore. That night when I saw that he deleted me off of social media I saw that he was friends with his ex-girlfriend again. They Dated for four years and she broke up with him and never contacted him again. She saw that he was with me and sent him a happy birthday text in January. After he broke up with me for good he was willing to go meet up with her. Now she’s tagging him on Facebook in all this stuff that they’re doing together. Last night I finally saw him for the first time after a month because he had to give me my son’s car seat. I posted a friendly photo with a guy and he asked me how my date went. I asked if he left me to get back with his ex and he is assured me that that wasn’t the case. Asked him if he was dating her and he told me that it was not committed to her and that he didn’t know what he wanted right now. Then after catching up and having a nice half an hour conversation he came over to hug me goodbye. He Squeezed me tight tell me how good I looked and kissed me all over my neck in a playful way. He told me he had to stop hugging me because he was getting a hard on. He told me to look I said no that’s what your new girlfriend is for. Then I walked out in front of him and he grabbed my ass I said stop that’s what Michelle is for. In a Playful way I said I’m just waiting to see the announcement of in a relationship on Facebook. He told me to text him when I went to the phone store to get my phone fixed so He could he could give me a discount. Also told me that he didn’t like that he saw that I was out on a date, he even liked the photo. Then last night right after I saw him the next night I see that he’s no longer my friend on Facebook which was the only thing we were friends on still. I said I thought we were on good terms and we were friends what happened? He said that he’s trying to move forward with his ex-girlfriend and that she doesn’t feel comfortable with me and him being friends so in order for him to make that relationship work he can’t be friends with me anymore. Please help me I am desperate and I am devastated. Had to call out of work today because I couldn’t bring myself to get out of bed. I need to know if anyone thinks I still stand a shot. The way he hugged me and stuff the other night it seemed like he still definitely still cared about me. Please give me some advice

EBR Team Member: Amor

September 17, 2016 at 6:58 pm

Hi Kansas,

it’s ok to be sad a day or two but don’t let this take over your life.. Take your power back by living your life day by day and improving yourself..
Let’s say he does still have feeling for you, then increase your chances by not chasing him and choosing to be your best self.

Tammy

September 14, 2016 at 5:31 pm

Me and my ex boyfriend dated for 2years. Right after I came back from 2 weeks vacation; he wanted to break up with me, he said just not happy together. After that, I didn’t contact him for more than 30days. One day he saw me and came up to me. We talked for a bit. Then, he consistently talk to me and visit me. We also had sex together. However, he said he just want to be friend with me. Last month, I saw his fb status that he is currently dating with someone now. I have knowen this girl during our relationship too. When I realized he is dating someone, I stopped all contact with him for like 3 weeks now. I love him very much and he hurts me many times too. I have no idea what I should be doing now.

Tammy

September 26, 2016 at 11:12 am

He replied my msg next day. I texted him “did you receive the package?” He replied: yes, thank you. I gave to my mom to leave in her place. I sent him back the only photograph that he took, where still in my place. And then I texted back saying I’ll be leaving nyc on October 12th. He asked: where to? I replied: moving to Arizona and will send Him greeting cards each holiday. Then no more response for until now. I didn’t tell Him I am just temp leaving.
EBR Team Member: Amor

September 26, 2016 at 1:11 pm

Ah, well it doesn’t really need a response. It’s a conversation that could build rapport too. It’s just an update conversation.
Tammy

September 25, 2016 at 11:13 am

I texted him yesterday, no response. I am sad and heart broken. He might completely moved on with his new relationship. Where I still can’t move on and pray him to come back to me. Please give me some advise.
EBR Team Member: Amor

September 25, 2016 at 3:55 pm

what did you text? Give it a week before trying again. If he doesn’t reply, then give it two weeks, if he doesn’t reply again, that means it’s better to move on.
Tammy

September 23, 2016 at 1:28 pm

I got you. I don’t know how to slowly build rapport. I didn’t text him anymore, after I found out he is dating with her now; like one month. Me and him are same age 29. His new girl friend happen to be 19 years old. Maybe less burden and more joy with someone younger? Thank you!
EBR Team Member: Amor

September 24, 2016 at 10:52 am

Probably..slowly building rapport means keeping on talking with him and getting his interest..
Tammy

September 21, 2016 at 11:00 am

I never wanted to give up on him. I am really don’t know what else to do. I know he won’t contact or even see me again, because he is with new girl now. keep improving myself and what to do next?
EBR Team Member: Amor

September 23, 2016 at 8:22 am

slowly build rapport.. follow what’s advised above.. at some point the honeymoon period is going to end and even if it still doesn’t, he will compare you to her.. If you’re not showing signs of trying to break them apart, and you just keep being amazing, when the girlfriend gets jealous, he won’t agree and then he might get annoyed with her.. do you get me?
Tammy

September 18, 2016 at 10:07 pm

I have been always improving myself to be better and be busy. But I think will not see him again. He is already dating someone new. He didn’t initially contact me anymore after his new relationship.
EBR Team Member: Amor

September 20, 2016 at 5:59 pm

So, what’s your plan? Do you want to try what’s advised above or give up now?
EBR Team Member: Amor

September 17, 2016 at 2:24 pm

HI Tammy,

how much have you improved? Are you still improving yourself? If you see him and talk to him again, don’t sleep with him again.

Zoey

September 14, 2016 at 2:00 pm

Hi. I’m starting a very complicated story here. It includes me and my two exes. The ex I’m trying to get back at the moment I’ll refer to him as ‘boyfriend’ and the other doesn’t-matter-ex just will be the ‘ex’.
First of all, I really loved my boyfriend. We dated two years ago for four and a half months. But at a vulnerable time of mine, my ex suddenly appeared out of nowhere (he had a relationship at the moment) and we started talking but I assure you, no cheating at all and he was in love with his current gf, and that was the same for me and my boyfriend. My ex and I were really good friends before our communication broke up and we never saw each other again as ex lovers or sth. Or at least I thought so – but I realized that I still had questions about our break up about our ex and he was a real mess and I ridiculously wanted to make him better. But seriously, I didn’t have feelings for him! But I tought that friendship would be bothering my boyfriend, and I suddenly made my decision and broke up with him. It was literally sudden! And just after two to three weeks, I was already regret and kept saying myself ‘you’re and idiot’. I was. I wanted to crawl back to him but I thought he hated me so I couldn’t and I didn’t want him to say ‘Do I look like a toy for you?’, and a year just passed like this. Next year we had a huge exam on the way and I didn’t want to mess up with his head because he was a person with lots and lots of goals and I was terrified that maybe doing that I could interrupt his studying and I decided to wait for another year. He contacted once or twice but never big things. Then middle of this year I decided I couldn’t take it any longer and on a class meeting I decided to talk to him and tell him about everything – you know, begging included. But just about the time I was ready to talk, I learned that he had someone in his life from a friend. BAM. Stupidity was like a rain. So I didn’t say a word and stopped contacting him for six months. I felt like a third wheel and I didn’t want to mess up with his relationship. He celebrated my birthday. I wanted to celebrate his’ too but when I tought about the things I want to write, it was too much (I did, 4 pages!) and I tought ‘I can’t just say a simple happy birthday while I wanted to say too much’ and I didn’t celebrate. Once, he texted to me say thanks for everything? It’s like I keep doing mistakes in a row by thinking compeletely wrong. I love him, I always did and I want him back! No one was ever like him, trust me I tried! Do you think I should make a move after all this time? I know it’s worth it; but I just want to know if it’s right.

Zoey

September 18, 2016 at 5:38 pm

No, we’re not classmates anymore. But our schools are very close now -10 minutes walking away- and about our friendship, well, I can say we kind of are. He still talks to me if I text him out of the blue. And yes, he’s still with the other girl. We’re basically teenagers, just starting college.
EBR Team Member: Amor

September 20, 2016 at 4:08 pm

Ok.. I think what’s affecting your chances is that he knows how much you like him.. It puts you in the chaser position. You have to change that.. So, don’t go declaring to him how much you think he’s the one for you.. Take it slow.. but more importantly, aim to be the ungettable girl. Read this one: The Ungettable Girl
EBR Team Member: Amor

September 17, 2016 at 5:27 pm

HI Zoey,

Are you still school mates or classmates right now? And how old are you both now? Are you friends? Is he still with the other girl? Have you stopped talking to your ex?

nadz

September 14, 2016 at 12:44 pm

My BF of two years and I broke up one and a half month ago. In this time we were in touch mostly me contacting him and if I don’t contact him in two days he sends me a message which brings me back to the circle and I start messaging him. He is actively talking to another girl and is on tinder the day we broke up. We ended it as a break. He said resolve your personal issues (I’ve some personl issues) and then we will talk about our relationship. Anyways I owed him money so I sent him hi smoney via e transfer and blocked him on whatsapp. He messaged me saying I asked you to wait till your issues are over and you send me money like this stop being so immature and block me. I couldnt help and unblocked him in whatsapp (he texted me) and started talking to him. Now he was ignoring my messages. He was on whatsapp for sure talking to that girl because he never uses whatsapp. Was reading my messages but not replying. I am just worried that if he continues to talk to this girl they exchange 20 snapchats a day literally, he is not going to come back to me. We were on a break and he said before to me while your issues are resolved I am going to have fun not going to sit around and wait for you. What do you think? is he ever going to come back or will i lose him because of this girl?

EBR Team Member: Amor

September 14, 2016 at 2:30 pm

Hi Nadz,

All I can say is that, he knows how hung up you are with him that he can flirt while talking to you, and even let you know about it. If he’s going to be closer to that girl, it’s not because of the distance it’s because that’s what he probably decided. He’s trying to keep both you as reserve, so if one doesn’t work out, he’s still gets to have his cake and eat it.

Raise your value. You’re not that girl. If you’re going to do nc, do nc because you want to heal and improve, not just because you want him back. If you need to change, he needs to change too. Are you going to take him back if he still acts like that even if you didn’t do nc and you tried to stick it out with him?

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