How To Get Your Ex Back When He's Moved On To A New Girl

3,819 thoughts on “Has He Moved On? How To Get Him Back If He Has A Girlfriend”

Agnes

June 13, 2016 at 12:05 am

Hi, here is my story. I’ve been with my ex for 7 lovely years. long distance the first year and somehow distant the last two. We had very happy moments, but also several downs, which I reckon to be normal in long relationships. I had troubles with his being at times emotionally unavailable (he had issues in talking about his feelings) and he had troubles in accepting my at times sexual low drive. But we always loved each other to the point of madness. Or at least this is what I thought and felt…18 months ago we entered a serious crisis while not living together anymore (I was away for work) and he slipped in the easy trap of cheating but came back crawling to me after three weeks. I was devastated, but happy to have him back and to be able to work on issues and be our old selves (in the meantime we bought a house together and were considering having children). The relationship worked well until six months ago or so and we broke up out reciprocal breakdown. It was mutual and I was sure it was the right thing to do, as I was not able anymore to get from him what I need (respect and willing to work on fixing our relationship) and he seemed drained too. I considered that to be the right decision for 3/4 weeks (I even dated in the meantime! crazy!) until something very sudden, unexpected and dangerous happened in his life. I found then myself realizing that I was willingly letting my man, my dream, the love of my life, my family go, out of stubbornness. I love him like he is a part of me, and I just needed to let him know. I booked a plane for few week laters to see him while going home to collect my stuff…I had an emotional breakdown, seeing him just streghten my feelings for him and I told him I needed and wanted him back in my life (I also begged….yes yes I know, pathetic…) he said he needed time for himself, he needed to have some time apart even if he loved me, he wanted to be free for a while….we spent three days together and towards the end of the weekend he started being warmer, he organized things for us that were our routine, he looked at me again like he used to and referred to me and him as “us”…a news after a couple of months…I left telling him I would have fought for him, he hugged me and said to do so, cried and sobbed when I left….we were then apart for another month and all of a sudden he turned cold over the phone, telling me he needed space, that he loved me but he was not in love and that I needed to let him go…I cried and wished I was dead, to be honest…then we met again as he came to see me to bring me some of my stuff…we had a two hours heart-to-heart talk, very sweet and passionate, we said how much we still love each other and we need each other in our lives…he said we needed to work things out seriously (I went into therapy in the meantime and solved my side), we apologized for what we did and had that moment of closure we so long waited for…we cried, hold each other and promised to try to work things out somehow…BUT….he then told me he was seeing another girl (well yes, I had doubts about it all the previous months but he was very firm in denying that…) he said that he likes her, she is fun, but she is not in love or anything and sees her only when and if he wants…he leaves my home with an aura of sweetness and that created a lot of hope in me (yes i am an idiot, I know)…that moment is followed by ten days of a all new relationship during which he writes me, talks to me, opens up, is very sweet and tells mutual friends that things were opening up for the two of us…) After that I got a job offer and decided to move back in “our” city, where he still leaves. When I tell him he goes hot/cold for a day or two, telling me that he didn’t know how to deal with the new girl and me in the same city…so yes, all of a sudden she was not THAT unimportant to him anymore…I got crossed, felt betrayed….I mean we had history and he was trying to jeopardize that for a casual girl….but she was clearly not that casual…after few days we have again a very long conversation and he confesses me he still thinks about me, that he still loves me and he knows he wants to be with me with his brain but needs to feel that punch in the stomach…he likes the girl (in the meantime she already dumped him two times because of him being undecided and in love with me) but he is not sure about her neither, he asks me time, he asks me patience, he says he needs to miss me to death and to be sure 100% before getting back to me (agreed) and he says that he is over excited to have me back in town…after 20 hours he called me to tell me it was better to stop keeping contact and that he needed to block his feelings for me because he didn’t want to lose the other girl (she got pissed again and dumped him for the third time) he said that he couldn’t be with me if he had feelings for another person and that I was confusing him with my presence…he said when he is with her he has no doubts he wants to try to be with her and when he’s with me he wants to be with me…but still he chose her…he said it’s not normal to want to be with two people and that he needed to break contacts to see what she meant for him an see what I meant for him (decoding how much he would have missed me…)….well I am totally sure he is already back with her, and I am also sure that he probably doesn’t deserve my love and devotion….but since I am going back there and I will most probably bump into him/them (he asked me to confront him, so that he can understand what I mean for him)…what should I do? How should I act? What are the odds I can get him back? Because I love him like nothing else in the world, but honestly it doesn’t feel like there is any possibility here left to boost my hopes and confidence…should I simply give up?

EBR Team Member: Amor

June 17, 2016 at 11:42 am

Hi Agnes,

try to do active no contact first and then focus on yourself..let him be with the other girl..if they progress, you still have your newly imprived yourself.. if not, take it slow with hin

Bri

June 11, 2016 at 5:16 am

I just found this website and it’s really nice and helpful to read through! But it seems like people are posing their stories so I thought I would too in hopes of maybe getting some advice?

So me and my ex started dating in March of 2015. He had a huge crush on me for quite a long time before we even started talking. I was 17 and he was 16 and this was my first relationship and I had terrible anxiety so it was pretty difficult for me to do “normal” relationship stuff because going on dates would literally cause me to have an anxiety attack. Plus my best friend was in a terrible place and I was putting a lot of my time and attention into her situation. We dated for a little over a month before we decided that we didn’t see each other enough and he thought I didn’t really like him all that much so we broke up in May. I knew it was a mistake less than a month after we broke up, we were great together and had so much in common. I tried to text him quite a while later (I would have texted him sooner but I thought that would be stupid and pathetic) and he didn’t text back. I haven’t tried texting him since. Then in March of this year, he got together with this girl on the exact same day that we started to date a year prior. They are still dating now.
I’m just not sure if I could get him back… I don’t know if him starting to date her on the exact same day that we started dating a year earlier means anything.
I don’t think I’m gonna be getting over him any time soon considering it’s been over a year… I don’t know what I should do
Confused

June 10, 2016 at 10:26 am

I’ve tried NC and failed on numerous occasions. He seemed amicable enough over text. It’s been two months. Is it too late to enact NC? What if he joined a dating site? Is it too late?

EBR Team Member: Amor

June 16, 2016 at 7:14 am

Hi Confused why did you break up, how long was your relationship and how long has it been since you broke up?

Liz

June 6, 2016 at 3:41 am

My ex and I have been friends for 28 years. We dated 6 months after he reached out to me and begged for the chance. He broke up with me in January. I did everything I shouldn’t have done begged, pleaded with him. Called and text just hoping for another chance. I tried no contact 30 days in March. Didn’t get a response. Tried again April, still no response. I finally said screw it and took a chance and went to see him. He told me he didn’t want to talk to me and that we weren’t friends anymore and to walk away. So I did exactly that. June 3rd I finally text him and he called but I didn’t answer. June 4 I text him and he called right away. I answered this time. We had a brief conversation he told me he hasn’t spoken to me because I always want answers and he doesn’t have any new ones. That we had been over things. That we need to go separate ways and move on we are no longer friends. He then proceeded to tell me he has meet someone, three weeks ago and it’s going great but it’s nothing serious. By the end of the conversation he is telling me he wants to try to be friends if I can handle him seeing someone. I have no idea what am I supposed to do now?

EBR Team Member: Amor

June 15, 2016 at 6:11 am

Hi Liz,

have you improved yourself and if he sees your posts does it seem that you’ve moved on?

Dina

June 4, 2016 at 10:15 pm

Hello,PLEASE i really really need help!!
I’m 16 years old and when i was in 3rd grade,i went to a new school and i met a boy and we fell in love since the first day that i came and he told me about 3 times that he loves me,but everytime i tell him that i don’t love him or we are just friends,but deep down i was soo in love with him,but i couldn’t tell him..we were too young and he was also at the same age of mine.We had some problems and after 2 years,i left the school and we never talked since then,but after 6 years I sent him a text message on Instagram and we talked ,but it was me who always started the conversation,then i realised that he ignored my text messages.Actually many many girls surround him and he had many girlfriends,but everytime they break up and i actually don’t know the reason ,because we aren’t like before.we were soo good to each other when we were young ,but now I don’t actually know…
Yesterday he posted a picture with a girl on instagram,saying that he loves her and many other lovely words to her.He is actually a really bad guy and my friends are always telling me to give up,cuz he is truely bad.But i love him more than my soul ,I just can’t describe how much i love him..He is literally my soul,Although he wasn’t good to me at all.from 2 months i went to see him and he was really happy to see me and i saw the same look in his eyes when he was in love with me ,but why does he do that??
I mean can that be because i left the school and that i never told him that i love him??
Actually All i know is that i am truely suffering cuz he is always with another girl and i don’t know exactly if he have feelings for me.I thought that after 6 years when we meet,he will remember that he was in love with me and will love me again,but i don’t know..I really hope to forget him,because everytime when i see him posting picture with his new girlfriends,my heart just breaks into millions of pieces.I know deep down that I am too good for him,but I just love him.
Please tell me what to do!!I am literally dieing

EBR Team Member: Amor

June 15, 2016 at 4:01 am

Hi Dina,

ok, let’s say we’re going to rule out that you’re young. He still has a new girlfriend and I think you held on to a memory that was long ago.. YOu need to do new stuff and grow.. not just because you’re young… but whatever age you are, that’s what you need to do first.. Don’t linger on a memory of him, because people change.. If you want him back, you can try to build rapport but keep in mind that he has a girlfriend and that the person you knew before is not the same person now.. Many things have happened and you need to make a lot of things happen for you too..

Jihee

May 30, 2016 at 8:48 am

Hello, I just started NCR and it’s been 11days since I haven’t messaged him. Here is my story, please help me!
I met this guy on Tinder in August, 2015. We started dating after 2weeks of everyday conversations. And it was all good for 7 months and a half then he broke up with me saying he had to leave my country. Yes, he is an American soldier and I am Korean. It was in February that his request to stay in Korea for another year got turned down and he filed an appeal. But it got rejected again in April. That meant he was supposed to leave Korea in June. So he was really cold and said that we should not see each other. I cried a lot but he refused to see me any longer. It was April 3rd.

In early May, my best friend found him on Tinder. I was like “What the…?” But he didn’t know her so my friend super liked my ex boyfrinend then they got matched. They talked a lot about me(My friend acted as if she didn’t know me). My ex said that I was such a nice girlfriend and I was never a bad girl. And he said, “But we had our own issues just like every couple. It’s too bad it didn’t work out. I was supposed to leave Korea but 2 weeks ago, the government ordered me to stay one more year. Well, I’m not opposed to meeting her again but I probably won’t date her again. Because the same thing will happen. I am sad a bit but that’s the life.” So my friend asked him, ” You can meet her again! Why are you on Tinder?” He said, “I dated lots of girls but none of them liked my job because I am too busy with my job. I had to leave them. They couldn’t understand why I was too busy. And she was too. But I am lonely that’s why I’m on Tinder.” The thing is I never complained about his jobs because I also appreciate my own space and time. Anyway I know it’s not a lie since I know one of his friend and he had to leave Korea in June with my ex then their order got changed.

I actually texted him after 30 days of No contact, saying ” I went to the place we dated first. I hope you are enjoying your rest of the days here in Korea.” He replied saying thanks and he hoped that I was doing well. It was before my friend found him on Tinder.

2 weeks later, he messaged me that he was going to stay here one more year and he was sorry. But that was all. He didn’t say he wanted to meet me again.

On May 19th, I texted him first saying “Your new profile picture is so nice!” So we talked a bit like friends. For like 2 hours. Then we had nothing to talk more.

I know he doesn’t hate me. But I think he doesn’t miss me. The 7 months were nothing maybe… And he never blocked me on messenger and on Facebook. I really want to meet him again. I followed the 30 days of No Contact rule then I broke it at 31st days. Then we talked in the middle of May. I was never clingy to him(I was never clingy… I feel like I had to be clingy a bit) and he never says I was bad. Instead he says I’m such a nice girl and I’m not even remotely close the worst girl he has dated. But anyway he is trying to find a new girlfriend which makes me super sad…

So, what I am going to do is NCR for 30 days and on June 21st, I’m planning to go to the village he lives. And I will call him saying “I just wanted to hear your voice… Because for the first time after the separation, I came here(the village he lives in). Can you come to this place I am at now?” What do you think of my plan? Thank you for reading.

EBR Team Member: Amor

May 31, 2016 at 3:53 pm

Hi Jihee,

You have to build enough rapport first before you ask for a meet. If all your texts are positives, that’s ok.

Honey

May 30, 2016 at 3:53 am

Hi!

My boyfriend and I were in a relationship for over 4 years. After 7 months of dating, he moved away to go to school a few hours away. 3 months ago he broke up with me very suddenly with no real explanation as to what happened. I thought things were going pretty well except for the fact that he got a bit distant the last couple weeks of out relationship and I honestly just thought he was depressed about all the other changes going on in life (graduation, moving away for a year after for special training)- we talked like normal the week after he ended things and then things slowly tapered off. I then initiated NC for a month and after I texted him to see if I could call and catch up with him- which he didnt oblige to for another week or two after being “too busy” but then he did and we chatted for a good amount of time and things seemed pretty normal again. Fast forward another month and he now has a new girlfriend and it seems like it happened really quick and I know it could just be a rebound, but it is killing me on the inside to see him with someone else. We were supposed to go hang out this week but he stood me up last minute saying he was uncomfortable about seeing me although he wasn’t willing to talk to me to make it work in a way he would be comfortable with. I dont know if he feels uncomfortable with this new relationship, or that he couldnt tell me or that he feels guilty about what happened- I really don’t know. I was ready to get married to him and up until a month before he broke up with me he would say so too. I know our relationship wasn’t perfect, but none are, and we did fight a decent amount because we both have strong personalities, but we got over the fights fast, it was just how our relationship worked. I miss him so much and I’m getting really anxious. I just want him back but I don’t know how else to proceed, I’ve followed all the steps in this program and maybe it just needs time to work itself out. I’m just having a hard time and I’ve been living my own life, going out with friends a lot, applying to jobs, doing things for myself in life and not just dwelling on everything, but he just isn’t getting out of my head. Please help, I appreciate any help

EBR Team Member: Amor

May 31, 2016 at 2:40 pm

Hi Honey,

if you’re asking how to move on, you can’t rush it.. it’s really a process.. it helps if you do things that has progress.. like learning a new language

BROKEN HEARTED

May 30, 2016 at 2:15 am

Forget those previous comments I made I no longer need any advice I know what I need to do now

EBR Team Member: Amor

May 30, 2016 at 8:50 am

Hi Broken hearted,

sorry for the late reply.. that’s good though that you made a decision

BROKEN HEARTED

May 27, 2016 at 11:57 pm

Also this girl lied on me and said I sent her mean things on Facebook I found out that’s why he blocked me smh she is very toxic but I don’t want to be the one to tell him because he will just think it is jealousy. I did tell him that I didn’t send these things but I’m not sure if he believed me though.
BROKEN HEARTED

May 27, 2016 at 11:51 pm

Hello well since I last posted I I was in the 3rd week of my NC and my ex called!! He said he was just checking on me and my kiddo we talked for about 40 mins. I did find out that he and the girl are back together 🙁 He asked if he can come see the kiddo on Memorial Day I said yes because I didn’t want to be mean and nasty. I have still been working on myself eating better and working out and still going to school. I have been trying really hard to focus on other things in my life besides him and he seemed pretty surprises that I didn’t contact him because after the breakup I was always contacting him. But not now. He asked if I missed him normally I would say yes and please come home but this time I changed the subject to the child: )I’m proud of myself because before I was very weak for him and he knew that. Its been 7months since our breakup and I am preparing myself for if he never comes back I still really love him but I can’t wait around forever especially if he is trying to make it with it work with this girl who has only been for months when we have years and history together.Do you think it is time to just let go???
Lily

May 26, 2016 at 1:25 am

i dated him for four months, we broke up. i still love him but he likes someone else. im heartbroken

EBR Team Member: Amor

May 29, 2016 at 12:00 pm

Hi Lily,

when did you break up?

Juli

May 25, 2016 at 6:40 am

Hi,
My name is Julie and I need a new perspective. I began dating this guy in the fall and things were going great, so I did what I always do I ran. I’m your typical runaway bride, I was so terrified of loving someone else so much. I broke up with him, but we then became best friends and I bonded with him, I’ve never loved someone so much that it hurts. So months went by and everything was great but then I started asking for more. I would kiss him and fool around, so about 2 weeks ago I realized I wanted to be more than friends. While I tried to figure out how to tell him I was hit over with the news that he had a new girlfriend. I was so devastated and I lashed out a little at him, we’ve talked it through and we’re still friends, is there any way I can still get him back?

EBR Team Member: Amor

May 27, 2016 at 10:17 am

Hi Julie,

are you willing to do Chris’ advice above? You can also check out this post: What To Do If Your Ex Boyfriend Moves On To A New Girl (Video)

Aria Lee

May 22, 2016 at 4:24 am

Hi, I just wanna ask about my situation. My bf and I broke up 2 weeks ago, he said he was bored and do not feel any attraction or have any feelings for me. He said he wanted to flirt with others. After that, he said he wanted to be friends and we talked like everyday. I still want to get him back and I follow the no contact rules. But after 2 days I found out and he said to me he had interest in someone else. I don’t know if I should keep no contact rules or just limited contact and meet him. Like make him feel happy and then maybe that can trigger something again. I didn’t mention anything about our break ups, I want to flirt and get him back but now I’m not sure what to do about this.

Aria Lee

May 22, 2016 at 4:25 am

Btw, we were together for 6 months.
EBR Team Member: Amor

May 26, 2016 at 9:43 am

Hi Aria Lee,

Limited no contact doesn’t work that way. It’s only for people who have no choice but to see each other, like being parents. And they’re not flirty, they’re just going to talk about the child. It’s best if you just stick to no contact first and finish it and then rebuild rapport and attraction after that.

Ivy

May 21, 2016 at 5:10 pm

I had a relation of 2years and a half with a guy and i couldn’t give him time so he start to meet another girl at the same time he was with me for about 1 year and a half, when i found out i got angry and i stop with him and i told her about it but after few days she maked good with him and return with him. Meanwhile i didn’t contacted him for about a week and a half and then i saw him and we start to talk and we told that we didn’t wanted to lose eachother but he told me now i have a girlfriend and i must be fear to her. We saw eachother at my place 2 times after that and we talked a lot over the phone and there were still feeling from me to him and from him to me. we had everything like before and was nice also slept together but comes de weekend and he told me that he need to block me because she doesn’t want to hear about me and after the week we will keep contact, and that he is happy that we have again this contact that he feel honour that a woman like me still want something with him but that i need to give him time to know what is what he really wants because with me he has many things in comun and also i am intelligent but with her; he never problems and she is good and sweet and he doesn’t want to hurt her, also she does all what he wants to make him happy and i have personality so i have my own ideas. I know he and i are soulmates otherwise i will not lose my time with him, i am normally not that kind of person but this is the big reason why i want him back. What shall i do now? my head is ready to explote…

EBR Team Member: Amor

May 26, 2016 at 5:58 am

Hi Ivy,

start with active no contact.. He has to see that he can’t have both of you.. improve yourself so that when he compares you to her, he’ll miss you more

Jennifer

May 20, 2016 at 2:50 am

My ex and I broke up about a month ago in the heat of a fight, we had been together for nearly a year. For a week he tried hard to reconsile but it was too soon for me. A week went by and I was ready, he started saying he doesn’t know what he wants. A week after that I found out he had a bew girl spend the bight at his place. Someone who showed up out of nowhere. She stayed the night again a few days later. Not more than a week had gone by and he moved her and her kid into his apartment. I know this is a rebound relationship, and I also know that has had bot been talking to her until a week after we broke up. How likely is it that his new relationship will last? And I have my bets that it will be short but other opinions would be helpful. It sounds like a disaster in the making to me.

EBR Team Member: Amor

May 25, 2016 at 8:53 am

Hi Jennifer,

I think you’re right.. You should proceed to active no contact right ahead

hope

May 17, 2016 at 11:37 am

Hello all,

I need some help, if someone with some more experience can help me, please do.
ME and my boyfriend had a 4 years relationship until, out of sudden, he told me he was in love with someone else. Told him to go after that girl (with a broken heat) and the girl was not into him. He came back, apologized, was sure he was in love with me. I accepted him back but i was deeply wounded. Meanwhile, I met another guy and didn’t have anything with him but we had a very emotional relationship. For an entire year he tried to get back with me, i said no. Finally i started to see that new guy was a rebound and wanted to try again because things with him were just good. Took me time to heal but i did. When i did that, he decided to break up. Was too late, he had met another girl and was in love with her. She is not into him, she has a boyfriend. But they talk all the time, he does everything for her and he thinks he as a chance. Meanwhile, he had physical contact with a 3rd girl but he regretted because he is in love with the girl that ha a boyfriend. With all this, he stopped talking to me, for no reason. Which is good so I can have my non contact time but i feel he will never be back to me… because now he has his confidence high. He thinks he can get girls and they are better than me (even if he now knows the girl he is in love with ha a boyfriend, he still keeps doing things she needs and is not talking to me anyway).
So, this is my thing: he This is it: he says i lied to him (and said that to all our friends), because i was travelling with this guy without telling him (although i had broken up), i guess it makes it easier for him… HE is in love with another girl and got some attention from another one… After a year he is tired, i imagine… Do I have any chance? and after the NC, should i text him? Because he will never do it i fell…
Can someone please just give me some guidance. I am an experienced woman, but this is really being harder than i thought…
Thanks in advance

EBR Team Member: Amor

May 24, 2016 at 9:04 am

Hi Hope,

it may take longer.. the better time is when he’s tired with the chasing he does with the other girl.. if you see each ther in person, start by being slowly more polite in person. He has to see that you’ve moved on so that he’ll be open to being friends with you again

Polly

May 16, 2016 at 3:33 pm

I’ve been together with my (first) boyfriend for close to 4 years. We broke up last week. He said he don’t love me anymore and that he has given on me, because I’ve always set studies as my priority and I don’t spend time with him almost at all during my school semester. There are other problems about me too, which I acknowledged, but I can promise to improve on myself and be willing to take time out for him if we are together again.
During our time together, he met my family and relatives and I met his many times. His family and relatives will also talk about our future, for example, our marriage, house and kids. We ourselves have talked a lot about our future too.
Initially I didn’t want to let go and pestered him for 2 days, because I believe as long as we remain together I can make him love me again. It didn’t work, so I decided to agree to the breakup and be friends with him as he wanted. However, I am seeing this as temporary only because I really want him back. He’s a really nice guy and a guy I know I want to spend my entire life with. He promised we can meet at least once a week for a meal together. However, he has also been texting a girl he liked a few years back. The girl happened to lose feelings for her boyfriend (whom she dated for 6 years), and they broke up recently too. Everyday I tell him I will wait for him no matter what, hoping that my words can get through to his heart, to make him open up his heart for me again, but it can’t seem to work at all. Everyday I also asked him to think about us, but he said he didn’t when I asked him about it. What can I do to make him love me again?

EBR Team Member: Amor

May 22, 2016 at 8:27 am

Hi Polly,

you should start no contact if you haven’t by now.. stop chasing him and start to improve yourself so that he’ll miss you and see you as the better choicw

Michelle B

May 15, 2016 at 7:07 pm

I need some unbiased advice. My ex and I have been together for almost 6 years. We broke up about 2 years into our relationship because he said he “wasn’t happy and needed to find himself again”. We continued to see each other during this break, I found out he was seeing another girl and had been hiding it from me he then got a new girlfriend and told me not to contact him and to move on. About 2 months later he was literally begging for me back and saying he was ready to commit and that he was so dumb. I took him back and things were going pretty good. We moved back in together. He had a lot of insecurities and we argued a lot but I was 100% committed and loved him and cared for him. I decided to go back to school full time and work full time. We talked about the time commitment this would take. Even my parents talked to him privately about this, he said he was so happy for me and 100% behind me. I worked my butt off. He started becoming very insecure and made the comment that I was never home and when I was I wasn’t there mentally. I tried to explain to him I was exhausted from all the hours I was putting in and that it wasn’t him. I felt like he really didn’t understand what I was trying to do. He threaten to leave me several times and I just kept telling him. This is just one more storm to weather. He would always tell me I wasn’t supportive of him and that I had no empathy or compassion for him. Which wasn’t true but he convinced himself of it. He came home one night and said he couldn’t stand me anymore and that I was the most miserable person to be around. He said he wasn’t happy and had mentally checked out of our relationship a long time ago. He said I had several chances to fix our relationship but I just wouldn’t change and that if i had we wouldn’t be breaking up. I had asked him several times prior what I could be doing differently. What he wanted to see. He would always tell me “you need to figure that out yourself. He broke up with me. I begged with him not to do this. He said he was done done done and that I had my chance and I blew it. He said he was angry we couldn’t make it work. I continued to beg and plead with him. He told me to leave him alone and get over it. I caught him at home one day and he confessed there was someone else and that there had been for a few months. He said his family knew about too. I was heartbroken. I felt like I had driven him to the arms of another women. I was a mess. I then woke up one morning to this new gf sending me pictures of them on vacation together. I was crushed. I had been saving for months to give US a very nice tropical vacation..and here he is giving her this beautiful vacation which he knew how bad I wanted and I was still living under his roof! Upon further research this girl said that he had been persuing her for the past 5 years ( as long as we’d been together). She went on to say how happy she was and how spoiled she was by him. It was soul crushing. This girl is getting everything I wanted. It makes me feel like all the time and energy I put into this was all for nothing if he was just waiting for her. And even more soul crushing I was paying for renovations to the house so we could make it OUR home just 3 weeks prior to the breakup. I just don’t understand how someone could be so cruel and his family be behind him 100% for cheating on me. All I was doing was working my butt off to make our future brighter. I feel like I couldn’t give him the attention he needed. What should I make of all this? Is this a rebound relationship? Do I have any hope of rekindling?

EBR Team Member: Amor

May 19, 2016 at 7:55 am

Hi Michelle B,

Start with no contact and start to put yourself first.. why were you the only one saving up for the vacation and spending money on the house? It should be the two of you saving up together..
I hate to say this but it’s like you were the chaser in the relationship and the him the chaser of the other girl. He’s giving everything for her because she was not easy to get.. I’m not saying you are but in the past years you’ve been making up for your time loss in the wrong way by spending more money on him..

It should have been quality time but that’s over now..

For now, pick yourself up and heal, and improve yourself.. Don’t chase him and make him miss you by continuing to improve yourself and being happy.. Be productive in posting and doing new things or spending more time with friends.

Jen

May 14, 2016 at 7:40 pm

Hello! I desperately need some advice and guidance. My ex-boyfriend and I met in 2004 and became instant friends. We were friends for three years before we started dating and we broke up last year. During that time we did not see each other much, but kept in contact via texting and phone calls. He did ask for us to get back together a few times and I declined because he devastated me. See, we were working on building a future together and then suddenly he didn’t want to get married or live together. I wasn’t sure what to make of that so we broke up. Well, rather, I broke up with him. As months passed, we still communicated, but he stopped asking to get back together, but he would still text things like I miss you and you are the only girl for me. I started to think about us seriously and decided it was time to tell him that I was still in love with him and wanted to make things work. So I had planned to tell him this on a recent Wednesday, but the Sunday before that I got a call from him in which he told me he was seeing someone else. I was heartbroken for many reasons. First, he had recently texted some romantic things to me and I reciprocated. Additionally, I had a big romantic gesture planned to reveal my continued love for him. I decided to tell him anyways and was stunned by his dismissal of me. I felt like I wasn’t talking to the person I knew so well for 12 years. He was angry and dismissive and said that he’s happy and wants nothing to do with me. I tried to hug him and he recoiled from me, as though he was disgusted by me. Please note that during our breakup I did not date anyone. We were each other’s first boyfriend and girlfriend and each other’s first kiss. Nevertheless, it was really like talking to a different person. I couldn’t believe that he chose a new one month relationship over our 12 years. I still do not understand it. He indicated he wanted to remain friends, so for a week we still friendly texted and then all of a sudden he calls me up and says in a very angry tone that he doesn’t want me to contact him in any way, ever again. We ended up speaking a few days after that and he reiterated those sentiments. I asked why he was pushing me away as a friend and he had no response. I asked if in the future we could maybe get together for coffee as it seems so strange to go completely devoid of communication and to disregard our friendship. He said that maybe or maybe not we can be friends in the future and that we can cross that bridge if and when we get there. The person I knew for all of those years wouldn’t do what he’s doing. I know that it wouldn’t matter who I was in a new relationship with…that if he professed his love to me I would always choose him. He’s my true love and soulmate. Is there any hope for us? I’m afraid he’s already in love with this woman (he already told me they have been intimate) and he has shown their new relationship loyalty over ours. Please help! What do I do to get him back?

EBR Team Member: Amor

May 15, 2016 at 8:18 am

Hi Jen,

actually he has already moved on and he’d protecting his current relationship now.. but try to check this post out, it suits you more
What To Do If Your Ex Boyfriend Moves On To A New Girl (Video)

Mia

May 13, 2016 at 5:28 pm

Hey,
I don’t know if I’m late or not, but I need to talk about this, I tried to talk to my friends but I feel like they don’t understand, my sister always told me don’t date him don’t and if I talk to her she will just tell me I told you so. So I found your page and read some comments hopping that you will reply 🙂
Okay so, one day my crush liked me he told me he asked me out, I always had a doubt but I thought that maybe he would change so I gave him a chance, the first few days it was a bit awkward but then we just started to talk blablabla…. Then in the easter holiday ( I was in a different country) I started to realise that my boyfriend still had feelings for his ex. I knew this from the start (doubt) but I still had to get evidence. One day my friend ( my boyfriends ex’s bf – sorry for it being confusing 🙁 – ) so he started to tell me how she broke up with him for my boyfriend, and then he told me that my boyfriend he will do the same and when he said that I had enough information. So the next day I told him we need to break up because he still have feelings for his ex so he admitted and now he is with her, it was hard to move on and still is now cause I can’t talk to anyone – no one understands as I told you ^^ :(. About a month pasted and then he started to talk to me,he asked if we can be friends I said ” no after all you done to me” he then told me why he dated me and still had feelings for her and he was forced ,he was going threw a hard time and all part of me didn’t believe him but the other part felt weak and idk the feeling, and he . On the same day I was hanging out with my friends at the mall,then the and his friend came and hanged out with us, at the end when we left. When I got back home we texted me that he has a tiny tiny crush on me again and I told him ohh he then said I’m kidding and he just wants to be friends.

I don’t know what to do, it also hurts me when I see him in school with his girlfriend 🙁
If you can help or give me advice please tell me 🙁
Sorry for my grammar, and thank you if you read my hole story <3

– Mia xx

EBR Team Member: Amor

May 15, 2016 at 6:03 am

Hi Mia,

you were his rebound..you were right about breaking with him.. I don’t want to say this, but you really have to move on from him.. be consistent in valuing yourself.. you deserve somebody who puts you first

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