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3,819 thoughts on “Has He Moved On? How To Get Him Back If He Has A Girlfriend”

  1. Ak

    May 12, 2016 at 5:13 pm

    I was in love with a guy in my high school , but he broke up with me and moved on with my best friend. I feel like she purposely took him away from me then I decided to look happy in there sight so I went dating with his best friend , and we kissed to ! I still have feelings for my ex though I am dating his friend . now even my ex is having feelings for me so I decided to break up with my new bf .do you think what I did is right? Am sooo confused, help me out.

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      May 15, 2016 at 4:56 am

      Hi Ak,

      actually nope.. but if you and your ex really love each other now, then be honest to everybody and to yourself and face the consequences.

  2. Heart broken

    May 10, 2016 at 10:43 am

    Hi, my boyfriend and I were in a relationship for two years and I found out two days ago that he cheated on me with her. I had my suspicion that there was someone else when that girl liked everything he posted on Facebook. So I went on her profile and saw that he did the same, but I didn’t think much of it because that girl has loads of guys on her Facebook. Then when I tried to whatsapp him he would ignore my messages, I would try to call him he would never answer or he would say he couldn’t talk because his family was there (we’re not the same religion). Then out of the blue he blocked me on Facebook and i texted to ask him why he did this, because earlier that I asked if he hated being with me and he said no, he just wanted to be left alone. When I texted him asking why he didn’t reply back, I tried calling he kept cutting me off. And then I knew he was with that girl, so I messaged her on facebook asking if he was going out with him and she said yes, but they’ve together for a week or so and he went to her on mine and his two year to make it ‘official’ He didn’t bother telling me that he didn’t want to be with me anymore, he always went to see her at her work place behind my back. Then because she told him to text me, he just sent ‘Sorry, I’m with someone else’ Everything he never did for me, he’s doing it for her. Please help, this is making me depressed and finding it hard to concentrate on my exams

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      May 14, 2016 at 11:38 am

      Hi Heart broken,

      I hope you started no contact.. and I hope you did it to move on from him.

  3. Lilly Anne

    May 10, 2016 at 12:01 am

    My boyfriend left me after 6 years two months ago. Completely out of the blue, said the spark was gone and that he loved me but wasn’t in love with me. Said He was scared of the future (we were due to move in together after I finished college). He made it sound like he was coming back, told people he might have made a mistake and told me he doesn’t know what we wants. A week later a new girl is on the scene. They have known eachother for a while but she only just turned 18. They went out all the time since and he even took her away “as a friend” on a holiday I arranged. he told me he doesnt see a future with me but not once has his reason been the same!! After 2 months they just became “official”. He still contacts me, wants to stay friends and know how I am getting on. She seems to really be pushing the relationship, changing their Facebook status first, tagging loads of pictures. So I have hope that he is gonna want to come back? Is it a G.I.G.S and do I have a chance? He did tell my friend he moved on straight away cos he has had been thinking about it for a while but even on the day he left we were talking about our future and he was so happy. I don’t know what happened!!

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      May 10, 2016 at 4:38 am

      Hi Lilly,

      I think he wasn’t ready to move in to be really that level of serious… so he moved on to another girl.. it’s like he sees you as a choice for long term but he’s not ready for that now.

  4. BROKEN HEARTED

    May 8, 2016 at 10:42 pm

    Neither of us knew I was pregnant until after the miscarriage I was still having my” monthly visitor” and didn’t find out I was indeed pregnant until i was rushed to the hospital.although I don’t know if it would have made a difference in his relationship with this new girl if he knew before hand that i was pregnant .After we lost the baby he was there for me lending support and helping with the other child who is adopted. I have been trying the no contact rule although it is hard with the child in the picture. I try to have less contact as possible. He asked when we we’re still together to never keep him away from the child no matter what happens with us ,because they have a bond with each other so I don’t want to shut him completely out. I have been healing and working on myself I went back to school to take some classes and try not to think if him so much it is hard though because I really love him and truly thought he was my soulmate.I do know that they are having some problems in their relationship he has voiced them to me before I listen and try to be positive and I don’t say anything bad about her although I wish I could sometimes lol I keep those thoughts to myself.

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      May 9, 2016 at 7:52 am

      well, that’s good.. be his confidant.. and it’s ok for him to keep visiting your child.. for now, actually you’re doing the right thing.. the important thing is that when she gets jealous, he will see it as jealousy and he won’t agree with her that you’re trying to attack the relationship..

  5. Broken Hearted

    May 5, 2016 at 3:49 am

    Hi my ex broke up with me 5 months ago we we’re together for 4 years things we’re going great we barely had any arguments until this past year we started arguing more he wanted to spend time with me and I wanted to hang out with family I had just reconnected with he didn’t have a problem with it I just didn’t know how to give everyone far time and I know he started feeling neglected like I didn’t want to be around him. In October he got his old job back but it was in another city from where we lived but he would drive there until we got in accident and car got totaled so he ended up staying with his aunt in that city to be closer to work. But he would still come home on the weekends when he was off. But in November he broke up with me saying he can’t give me the time I needed and we should take a break but we we’re still intimate with each other. One day in December I was looking at his post on FB and noticed a girl was liking all his pictures and I asked him about her he said she was just his friend and there was nothing between them. So I left it alone. I enede up having a miscarriage in February and we seemed to be getting closer but this girl was tagging him in videos and pictures so I asked him about her again and he still would say the same things and we started telling each other we love each other and still spending time together. Last weekend I ended up going on the girls page and it was a picture up of them on her cover page. So I got tired of asking him and feeling like he is lying so is asked her what was going on with them she told me they we’re together for 4 months!!!! I asked him why he lied and he knows he could have told me the truth I would have still been his friend he said he didn’t want to hurt me.But I’m still hurt anyway I love him so much and I know he loved me I was his first real relationship and my friends say he is just exploring his options. Anyway the girl broke up with him that same day we talked. But I know they still see each other from a mural friend of ours. He blocked me on FB because he said she told him too I started the No Contact 2 days ago but I don’t if he is even still interested in me I feel that he chose her over I know he still cares he is giving me a car and helps with a child we we’re taking care of together but I don’t know if they are going back together or not what should I do is it even worth trying help

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      May 8, 2016 at 3:21 am

      Hi Broken hearted,

      is the child your adopted child together? First, I have to tell you the truth.. he wasn’t serious with you when got back sleeping together after the break up.. yes, he did say he loved you but his actions doesn’t show that…if he really loved you, he would have broken up with the other girl, especially knowing you were pregnant, but he didn’t..

      So, the reality is he’s more serious with her and you have to focus on healing during nc.. this time it’s a restart.. you’re trying to get him back after he moved on.. you’re reatrracting him. Don’t come from a position that he still loves you.. think of it as restart from everything.. you have to keep in mind that he has feelings for her..

      Lastly, you have to be prepared if he doesn’t seem to be attracted back.. so, work on your self improvement, confidence, have a makeover, have a new life, new friends..don’t make your world revolve around him.. aside that it’s not healthy, it’s not love if you do that.. Put yourself first, that way you’ll know if you’re getting real love or not.

  6. Eli

    May 5, 2016 at 1:09 am

    We broke up this january. My boyfriend and I were together for 10months. But honestly we were already sort of dating since 2014. He broke up with me saying that he doesn’t want to hurt me further. He can’t commit to me. I don’t know how true those are anymore. In these three months, I learned that he cheated on me four times. The first one, I know of and we tried to work out from that. The three, I just found out after the break up. He slept with the fourth one back in december when we were still together.

    And now he’s dating her.

    They started dating immediately after our break up. As in immediately. But it was just casual. For fun. That’s what he said. But a lot of things has happened in these three months with me involving being low value and last night he said that he was getting serious with her. He really likes her. He says he’s happy when he’s with her and he feels like she brought back his old self. The old committed him that he lost somewhere in our relationship. Though he says it will still take a long time before they’re going to be official boyfriend-girlfriend. As if that matters, that’s merely a label.

    It hurts because I still want to be with him. Maybe not now but in the future and him being serious with another girl feels like my chances are gone.

    I’m really trying so hard to detach myself from the situation. How do I get him back? And what are my chances? Do I even have a chance given how our relationship was and how his current relationship is? This is making me really sad. Please help.

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      May 8, 2016 at 2:54 am

      Hi Eli,

      it’s better if you move on.. he cheated on you many times and you wanting him back after that just shows you don’t have standards for yourself, therefore he will continue to abuse you emotionally.. Put yourself first now.. and move on.. besides, even if you try now, either he will use you for sex because it will show that you still want him back and you’ll be the chaser or he’ll use you as a back up..

  7. Dana

    May 2, 2016 at 12:03 am

    Hello,

    My ex and I, who is also a woman, have been on and off for the last two years. The majority of our relationship has been long distance which has been the cause of most of our issues. Other than that, there were a few instances where I drank too heavily and really pushed her to her limits. I’ve realized this is all due to issues of mine that I have never properly taken care of, and have since then began working on with professional help. We broke up in September, but only stopped speaking four weeks ago, when she blocked me after trying to make a friendship work. It seems that she is now dating someone knew, and is meeting this new girl’s friends and vise versa. I am soon moving to the city that my ex lives in, but am worried that there is almost no hope at this point. Is there any advice you have for me in this situation?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      May 3, 2016 at 9:55 am

      Hi Dana,

      give it time.. do nc and focus on yourself only.. when she sees that you have really moved on.. there’s a chance she would be open to be friends again because you don’t pose a threat to her new relationship.. so, that’s means you have to come from a place of being friendly only and then continue to build rapport from there.

  8. Ashley G

    April 30, 2016 at 11:46 am

    Hi,
    I was with my ex boyfriend for a year before we broke up officially. It was mostly my fault because I did not like him when we first got together. Over the course of the year I tried breaking up with him several times but he would always come begging me to get back. So we patched back for many times and the last time I broke up with him was because I thought I really didn’t like him and had to end the relationship. Well, our relationship was also filled with happy memories too but I always told him that I was unsure of my feelings and that we were ‘friends’. So the relationship wasn’t officially announced but we still celebrated monthsaries and valentine’s day together. He was upset that our relationship wasn’t officially announced but he thought that was the only way to keep me, so we continued without a proper status. His parents knew me as his girlfriend and we had a lot of intimacy.

    The final time we broke up, I felt I needed time to reconsider our relationship properly that was why I did not ask him for a break but a break up. He pleaded with me for a week, until he met this new girl who asked for his number. He told me he was not interested in her but he had contacted her for fun. I told him to try out with this new girl as at that point in time I was pretty sure he would not like that girl and I was still considering my feelings for him. Another week later, I realized I really wanted him back and this time I was ready to commit. So i called him and I realized he was already in a relationship with the new girl he met. I was certain it was a rebound relationship so I cried and told him I’m sorry and I really wanted to be in a real relationship with him this time as I am sure about my feelings already.

    In the end he broke up with his rebound girlfriend and got together with me because he says he feels that he still likes me. However, in less than a week he requested for a break up saying he was tired and needed some time alone. All along I felt like we were very attached even though we had our constant break up problems. So i agreed to the break up but still contacted him. Few days after, he went overseas and while he was overseas we continued texting a little. All conversations were initiated by me. However, one day while he blocked me on all social media apps (instagram, facebook, whatsapp) after I spammed texted him one night when he did not reply (which was a huge mistake). I cried hysterically but waited for him to come back from his overseas trip before I could have a proper talk with him. I thought he was just irritated by my texts and when he comes back we can talk calmly. However, when he came back I discovered that he got together with the girl whom he previously was in a rebound relationship with, a day after he blocked me.

    I was horrified that they had been contacting behind my back and he even told me many times he didn’t like her before that was why i trusted him so much. I even went to find his mother because I could not contact him and his mother was shocked that he had a new girlfriend and he even told his mother before that he had no interest in the new girl he met. Eventually, I met up with him and he told me he has no feelings for me anymore because I broke up with him too many times in the past. He told me he is not sure if he likes the girl he is with now but he wants to try because apparently she is able to give him a proper relationship that I was unable to. I tried all ways to persuade him to come back to me but it did not work.

    I understand that it was my fault the whole time. I was the one who initiated all the break ups except for the last time. I know he was badly hurt and I don’t deserve another chance from him, even if I really love him now. Love has cultivated over the year which I didn’t realize. I’ve read many sources online and they said the No contact rule is essential in getting back together with an ex. However, his new girlfriend asked him to block me because she knows he just broke up with me recently. He actually listened to her and blocked me!!! I managed to call him in the end and he told me he feels like he is falling for her just like how he fell for me and I should move on. He already kissed her in a week that they got together. He admits he still thinks about me but he does not have any feelings for our past memories. Yes there were many bad memories from our unstable relationship, but when I asked him he said except for our break ups, our relationship was perfect.

    I am really at my wit’s end. I know if I implement No contact he will really move on and forget about me completely. But he has always loved me so much more than I loved him, I really did not see a day like this coming. He also admitted that he did not think we would end things so soon. But ultimately, he chose her over me. I know I did so much wrong, but to just forget everything we did and to block me over a stranger (the girl is older than him by 3 years) I just felt like our love was so fragile and easily replaceable.

    For now, he always block me when he goes out with his girlfriend but unblocks when I beg him to. I am so tired of constantly begging him to not shut me out from his world completely. I’ve told him that I am willing to accept his new relationship and I wish he will be happy but I still need time to move on. He feels sorry for me that is why he still replies me when I text him occasionally. I’ve tried to move on but it is really hard. This whole situation happened about two months ago and he is almost reaching one month with his ‘rebound’ girlfriend (which I highly doubt is a rebound).

    What should I do? He goes out with his girlfriend almost everyday and he promises to unblock me on whatsapp when he reaches home. But so far, he only unblocks me when I send him a text to remind him (fortunately I can still contact him via imessaging). It shows how much he cares about me if he doesn’t even bother to unblock me unless I remind him. But every time I message him ( I kept them short), he replies immediately and rather happily. It is really confusing to know if he is replying me out of pity or he genuinely feels happy to talk to me. I feel like i’m bothering him so much but I really don’t want to implement No contact because I know it will backfire and he will just move on with her. I don’t think he still misses me because I know he is a person who does not think too much and just lives his life the way it is. The girl is also extremely nice to him and he told me she is pretty before even though he thinks i’m prettier (BUT STILL HE LIKES THE WAY SHE LOOKS) and lastly she is Korean and he is too, meanwhile I’m Singaporean. This means they are able to connect on a lot more levels…

    I tried to move on by going out with this other guy but I felt even worse because I can’t force myself to like someone new. I tried telling my ex about this new guy chasing me to make him jealous, but he just congratulated me and told me to move on.
    What should I do? I know I really don’t deserve him because I was his first love and he really loved me a lot (he doesn’t look at girls at all) but I hurt him so much in the past that he has no feelings for me anymore. I know it might seem like I want him back because I crave for his attention again but I just feel different this time. I really want him back….

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      May 1, 2016 at 1:51 pm

      HI Ashley G,

      if you really don’t want to do no contact, what’s your other plan? because if you have, do that first.. but if you’re going to ask me.. of course do no contact.. you’re bascially just chasing him now.. and staying to talk to him doesn’t seem to be working.. it just makes you beg more..

  9. Sally

    April 28, 2016 at 3:43 am

    Hi
    I’m in highschool and there is this boy who was in my class last year, at first we really didn’t talk but then he started to talk to me and a would usually ignore him but after a while he started ro grow on me and we became really good friends we would always laugh and even when we were in a place with alot of itger girls who were obviously flirting with him, his attention was alwase on me. He always followed me around and wanted to talk and tease me. after a while we started texting to where we would text daily and he would mostly start the conversation and keep it going,after a while we started flirting and he was obviously not creepy or anything and obviously wasn’t trying to take advantage of me but it was obvious that he wanted me. Everything was perfect I thought he was going to ask me to be his girlfriend, i never met someone like him, he was different. But one we texted, it was like always and at the end i had to go he flirted a bit and said he would talk to me tomorrow like always but tomorrow came and he didn’t text. For a week he didn’t text me but when he did it wasn’t the same and after that night he didn’t text me anymore for a month. After that he text me how i was doing and when I text back he didn’t reply and then his next text after that was 3 months later, after that I didn’t reply to him and he sent me another text a month after i also didn’t reply. After that he didn’t text me anymore but he added me on all social mida, i was kinda happy because I thought he wanted to start thinking again but I think i was wrong because it seems that he has a new girlfriend and it’s been over a year that we haven’t talked and every time i see him in the hallways I can’t even look him in the eyes. I don’t know for sure if thats his new girlfriend or not but I still love him and I can’t get over him and I want to start thing up again but I don’t know what to say or do. Should i talk to him in person should i text him what should i say? Please help me I’ve been hurt for so long and I just want him back:(

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      May 1, 2016 at 7:07 am

      Hi Sally,

      Oh, do you think he stopped talking to you because it wasn’t really his intention to be in a relationship and he sensed you’re falling for him? If there’s a chance that you could spark a conversation with him in person in a natural way, that’s good.. but if it’s too much.. start slowly by greeting him when you pass by each other.. smile shortly or greet him good morning.

  10. Emma

    April 26, 2016 at 7:11 pm

    My husband and I were in a serious relationship for 5 years. its now 10 months since we have broken up, he is now dating his lover he cheated on me with during my pregnancy in 2013. The girl happens to be in the same class as me and my ex. My ex thought I was going to overreact with how his throwing it in my face, rather I just ignore both of them keep my head up and look hot. we have been through a lot with my ex, I call him ex because I am currently pursuing the Divorce. He betrayed me, how could he do that to me? I feel disgusted. Hopefully he finds happiness with his lover. 5 years thrown in the mud

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      April 27, 2016 at 8:29 am

      HI Emma,

      Well, he made a mistake.. you’ll find a better guy.. keep on being in the high road and let them be.

  11. Amber

    April 25, 2016 at 12:07 pm

    Hi,
    I was with my ex boyfriend for 8yrs. We lived together the last 7yrs of our relationship. I met him when I was only 18 so I never went through the fun party stage, we were more like an old couple that always stayed home together. He started working night shift at his job and it seemed like all my friends were always going out and having fun while I stayed at home alone. I created a Facebook to be more social and started going out with a few girlfriends while he was at work. I will admit, I did have fun and it felt good to finally experience the party life. I NEVER cheated on him, didn’t even cross my mind too, but I did lie since I never told him. He ended coming home early one night and caught me. He was so mad at me, I can tell it broke his heart. I confessed to everything, told him about me going out and having a Facebook. We talked about it and I truly thought he forgave me. A month later I found out he started sleeping with other woman at a motel while he was supposed to be at work. I was devastated and hurt that he would do something like that to me. I asked him why and he responded with I hurt him first so this was my revenge. I kicked him out of our home Jan 2 and it is now April 25th. During our breakup I tried moving on but my heart wouldn’t allow it. He tried working things out the first 2mths but I couldn’t forgive him. We kept in touch here and there the whole time and finally after some alone time to actually think about everything I found it in my heart to fully forgive him. I was caught off guard because now he just met someone 1mth ago (1 week the girl was in jail so really 3weeks). He is very confused and can’t decide between us. The girl is trying to get pregnant by him (again only 1mth) and when me and him dated I was against having kids while he wanted a family so bad. I love him so much and I’m willing to work things out and I’m even more open minded about having a kid, starting our little family. I gave up Facebook and will do anything to have him back but now he just keeps going back and forth between us. I feel like I’m dying inside without him but he thinks it’s too late for us. He knows I cry myself to sleep every night. Please help me, I love this guy so much.

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      April 26, 2016 at 9:42 pm

      Hi Amber,

      You have to more emotionally strong because it looks like the only edge of the new girl is being new in his life with the promise of a family.. but you have memories with him and it sounds like you’re the better choice too.. If you can talk to him, if he wants kids you’re open to it but if he keeps going back and forth to the both of you, you can’t just sit there and wait for him to choose you.. you have a life and self respect to protect too..

  12. Tina

    April 20, 2016 at 4:16 pm

    Hi,

    I’m me and my ex together for 9 months. We broke up close to a month now. The same day we broke up he slept with my best friends roommate. And stayed with her for 2 weeks, till today he still go over her place. We ended things because he thought if we kept going we will both be hurting each other. I have begged him to come back couple of times but it didn’t work. I know he left because of the way i treated him, I was rude, i didn’t appreciate anything, spoke over and didn’t show much care and affection. I was being a brat in my relationship and constantly putting more stress on him and he confirmed that was the reason why he doesn’t want to come back. I have deeply realised my mistakes and i’m ready to work on myself and fix things, when ever we broke up his mostly the one that talks me back into us again. But this time my crying and emotions didn’t cut it, and i strongly know that if my best-friends roommate wasn’t in the picture he would have definitely given us a chance again because he normally hates to see me upset. My best-friend tells me that her roommate and my ex are obsessed with each other, she says my ex really like her roommate and her roommate say she’s never felt how this way for a guy not even her 10 year relationship she 25 and my ex is 19 and i’m 20. My bestfriend also say she doesn’t think they are a rebound because they are always happy together. I can see she’s everything i wasn’t. I’m nearly 8 weeks pregnant he wants to be in his child life. He texted him for all the good times we had together and that i was moving on and hopefully we could be friends down the road. He replied with a thank you and that i should always keep that beautiful smile on my face everyday. He also asked how his baby is doing and if it’s a boy or girl. I didn’t reply so he called the next day which was 2 days ago. While on the phone he said we should leave everything to the past, we also spoke about my new job and i also told him that i’v moved on. His waiting for me to call him if i want him to come to the midwife appointment but he think it would be awkward if my mum is going to be there. He seems happy with this girl. I mean she’s kind, caring and always trying to bring the positive out of people but i’m really scared his really going to move on with her from the way i’m seeing things. I know if i put a little bit more of effort into our relationship he wouldn’t have said have he wouldn’t come back. Do you think i have a chance of getting him back? should i exclude him from any appointments regarding the baby until the no contact rule is finish?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      April 22, 2016 at 8:21 am

      Hi Tina,

      nope you shouldn’t exclude.. To be honest if your best friend says that then it can be true that they are really happy.. She’s yout best friend, she would say the truth to you..

  13. Mima

    April 19, 2016 at 1:18 pm

    Hi, my name is Mima. I’m 24 years old. My ex and I were together for 5 years. The last 10 months of our relationship we practically lived together. But 4 weeks ago he said that he doesn’t want a relationship anymore. He couldn’t live with the past (of what he has done to me and our relationship). He cheated on me when we were 18 years old. We broke up for 6 months and both had someone new in our lives. When I found out that he had a new girl in his life i texted him saying that I was very happy for him. After a week we came back together. After that breakup I didn’t even think about him a the cheating. I forgave him. Everything was great. We loved each other. Talked about moving in together. Talked about getting a dog. Getting kids. And then, 4 weeks ago, he said that he could’t live with himself because he thinks that he ‘broke’ me. After a week he started seeing some girl. She is 18 years old (he is 25). His goals in life changed. I heard that he is staying home with his parents (the plan was that he will move out). It looks everything is serious between them. Everything he did with me he does it now with her, but just 4 weeks after breaking up with me. He is seeing her everyday after work. He is tagging her in posts on Tumblr. He already met her family and she met his family. He said that he had a crush on her (I asked when I didn’t do the No Contact rule)
    Now I’m doing the No Contact rule for 2 weeks. Yes, I begged and pleaded in the beginning. He cut all the communication off. I don’t have him on social media. Or his phone number. I went crazy and got myself a new phone number so that I will not spend my entire day looking at my phone wondering why he hasn’t contacted me.I’m still in pain everyday, even when I go out with my friends. I go to the gym. I socialize. I’m making new friends. I’m focussing more on my schoolwork and work. But I’m still thinking about him. And he is already happy with somebody else. It just doesn’t add up in my mind.
    My question is:
    1) Is this a rebound relationship (it doesn’t add up in my mind that someone can go from a 5 year relationship to another one within a week and be on the same relationship ‘level’)
    2) Do I still have a chance after the No Contact even if he has a new girlfriend?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      April 21, 2016 at 10:25 am

      Hi Mima,

      it may be a grass is greener case and it also depends on when they really started getting along.. it will be hard especially if they are in the honeymoon phase..but 5 years is long..he will compare you to her.. so increase your chances by contnuing to improve yourself.. post it in social media, so he will see and increase the chance of him missing you.

  14. Lindsay

    April 18, 2016 at 10:50 pm

    Hi there,
    I was dating this guy for almost a year, however we never became official (no titles/sex). We eventually grew apart; i gave him space because i didn’t want to pressure him into a relationship; also quite frankly i was tired of having to make all the dating plans etc. He said we drifted because he was waiting on me because i was busy with college; therefore it was miscommunication i guess? For a while i stopped talking to him, but then i found out that he got a girlfriend, which made me outraged, because i waited so long to be his girlfriend, when he so quickly got one after me. Eventually i wrote him and told him all my feelings, where he apologized. After that i stopped talking to him again. A few months later we reconnect, and its as though we never stopped talking; now some of my old feelings are coming up. He wants to meet up and i really want to see him and just pick up where we left off. What should i do?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      April 21, 2016 at 7:49 am

      Hi Lindsay,
      I think it’s a good idea..rebuild what you had before

  15. Elizabeth

    April 18, 2016 at 5:54 pm

    Hello I love your article. Very insightful! My ex broke up with me about 2 weeks ago (we dated for a year). Him and I had the perfect relationship! He is the most amazing guy I’ve ever met, and he said the same thing to me, and that I’m truly his best friend. He said that he has never had these feelings for anyone in his life. We never ever got in fights. He is the male version of me, and I’m the female version of him. We just get each other. Well, without warning he broke up with me. His reason was that “something was missing” but he didn’t know what it was. He said that if he did end up with me for the long run that he could see it either going two ways. 1) bad (he didn’t explain why he thought this? I’m very confused who he feels this way) 2) it would be great! He also said that he has always had a girlfriend since high school. He is now 25, and that he hasn’t really had “his time.” He said that he feels like breaking up with me could be the biggest mistake of his life, and that he is worried that he is making a mistake. When he broke up with me he was very upset and had tears coming down his face, and as did I. He said that he hopes that he realizes that he is making the biggest mistake of life soon before it’s too late, and that I really am the most amazing girlfriend that he has ever had, and that he has never been treated so well. His brother and parents tried to talk him out of it before he broke up with me, and told him that he was an idiot, he did it anyway. I know his friends are upset and shocked about the breakup, and so is his family. They seem pretty upset about it. His best friend contacted me, and told me that he talked to him after the break up to see why he really broke up with me since he would never lie to him. His friend told me that he said that something was missing, and he doesn’t know what that is. He told him that I was the most amazing girlfriend he has ever had, and he knows that I am perfect for him. His friend thinks he is just stressed about work, but he doesn’t know if he will come back to me because he doesn’t understand why he would leave me in the first place. It’s just a very confusing situation, and I’m so heart broken. I know in my heart that he is the one, and maybe he just needs space, or is afraid? I don’t know. Well, I’ve doing no contact since the break up. The day after he broke up with me I havent contacted him It’s now 18 days into it, and I haven’t heard from him at all. It’s breaking me to pieces, and making me feel that he doesn’t care about me. Is this normal? I just don’t understand why he hasn’t contacted me if I met so much to him? I’m going to still stick with the no contact. I also posted on Facebook that I’m going to the gym and working out so that he can see (if he creeps on my page) that I’m improving/bettering myself. I feel like I’m doing the right thing, but I truly don’t understand what is going on through his head right now!?

    1. Elizabeth

      April 18, 2016 at 9:01 pm

      Thank you and I have plans with friends for this summer. Do you think the no contact rule will make him realize that he made a mistake and doesn’t want to lose me? Do you think if I give him time that he will come back? I plan on sometimes next month if he hasn’t contacted me yet to send him a subtle message of something I did that day that made me remind me of him and that it made me smile, or should I just have no contact with him what so ever until he contacts me even if it goes on for months? I know during the time he broke up with me he was also resigning his job, and moving to a different company. Could his new job have something to do with the breakup? I see his snapchat stories and he seems really happy. It just hurts because he doesn’t seem to be effected by the breakup at all like he originally did when he broke up with me. I mean do you think he is hurting, and why hasn’t he contacted me since the breakup?

      Do you think he will come back in time? Honest opinion?

    2. EBR Team Member: Amor

      April 20, 2016 at 9:46 am

      it depends on a lot of factors.. if he sees your improvements, physically, socially..he might miss you especially if you have more going on than him bit if he’s enjoying more then it’s less likely that he will want to get back

    3. EBR Team Member: Amor

      April 18, 2016 at 7:36 pm

      Hi Elizabeth,

      do other things too so you’ll have a variety of experiences. I think it has a lot to do with him not being single for a long time and now he is in the quarter part of his life, so he wants to experience more and grow..

  16. Jennifer

    April 18, 2016 at 3:54 pm

    Hi! My exboyfriend of 2 years broke up with me officially at the end of January 2016. I am 21 years old and so is he (but a grade below me), and I was his first girlfriend and he was my first bf. I have had low self esteem pretty much my entire life. My ex bf was the first person I met at college, by myself, that I felt I connected to. The first person– we had so much in common and I ended up falling in love with him. However, the last 6 months of our relationship were pretty bad. I was so mean to him and I didn’t treat him right or fairly. I gave ultimatums and I was demanding and I would even say controlling, and I didn’t appreciate him at all. He didn’t deserve any of that, he was SO good to me, and I pushed him to his breaking point and he broke up with me in late January 2016. He felt the relationship was too committed, that he lost feelings for me,he felt pressured because he felt I relied on him too much, and that he felt he was always upsetting me, and that he didn’t want to be in a relationship right now. So I went 5 weeks of no contact with him, and turns out, the 5th week I found out he had a new girlfriend. It hurts me so much to think he was able to move on so quickly. But what is even harder is that I believe the reasons why I treated him so poorly toward the end of the relationship wasn’t because I didn’t love him, it was because I was not happy with myself, and I took it out on the one I loved the most. I had very low self-esteem and I took out my stresses on him. I explained to him all of this ( I am currently seeing a therapist to understand more of my actions) and all he says is that he is happy with his decision and wants to see how it works out with his new girlfriend. I told him that any relationship we will have in the future will be different, and I’ll be a better girlfriend to him ( I know I will, because I have started working on myself already), but he isn’t willing to give me a second chance. I thought I meant more to him than that. I knew he loved me a lot, so I am just heartbroken that he isn’t willing to work on things with me. I am so scared that this new relationship he is in (its been like 3 weeks since he has started dating this new girl) will become a very strong relationship and he will develop strong feelings for her and they will eventually fall in love. I am so scared of that happening because I still love him and I made a lot of mistakes. I know I can be a better girlfriend to him and I fear he is looking at this new relationship with his new girlfriend and thinking that, “wow, this is better and easier than my old relationship,” but he isn’t realizing that any new relationship we will have will be just like in the beginning of our relationship– when we fell in love. Our relationship in the beginning was so great–I wish he remembered all of those great memories instead of remembering all the bad ones toward the end. I am still the same person he met in the beginning, it just unfortunately took him breaking up with me for me to see that I needed to become happier and change for the better, for myself and not for anyone else. I have finally realized that no one can make me happy, not even him, only I can make myself happy. Its been a little over 2 weeks since I cut off all contact with him but I miss him a lot, I’m hurt, and I just hope his new relationship doesn’t work out (i know thats mean to say). I know he loved me, but I know I can’t force him to see the person I am trying to become–I really am working on myself now. I really want him to see that I can be better, but he has a new girlfriend now and I am afraid of of them falling in love and him only seeing our old relationship negatively, so he would never want to get back with me. Can you help me?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      April 18, 2016 at 6:29 pm

      Hi Jennifer,

      to be honest, all you can really do is stop asking and start living and showing your changes.. whether he goes back or not, you’ll stay loving yourself and maybe even a new guy..

  17. Ari

    April 15, 2016 at 4:53 pm

    My Ex-Boyfriend and I broke up after 3 year together a week after breaking up we picked right back up on hanging out and spending a lot of time together it has now been 1 1/2. He had said he saw a future with us and that there was something there but never committed to me again. We had a miscarriage in Late November 2015 and it brought us closer but a month went by and We started fighting again and I ended up sleeping with someone else but didn’t tell him right away because we were fighting and not seeing each other. I started having a suspicion that he was talking to another girl so I told him what I did 3 weeks ago and this week he puts on FB he is in a relationship with the girl I suspected. I have been asking him the past 2 months if something was going on with them he would never answer so I would assume they were and he would always tell me “I guess so cause you are always right” He told me he stopped loving me a long time ago even though he told me he loved me in January . My question is, does this sound like a rebound for him? is there the slightest bit of hope for us in the future or did I really hurt him and he is just done.

    1. Ari

      April 20, 2016 at 3:57 pm

      I am trying to but I have to have him sign a contract for something we bought together and he hasnt signed it yet and is making it very difficult. I said to him that this is it after you sign there is no future and he said he couldn’t answer that.

    2. EBR Team Member: Amor

      April 22, 2016 at 7:49 am

      ok..settle that first because it may get more complicated if you dont talk to him

    3. EBR Team Member: Amor

      April 18, 2016 at 4:16 am

      Hi Ari,

      she can be rebound but with everything that happened.. I think you really need to start over. are you going to do nc?

  18. Jan

    April 15, 2016 at 2:28 am

    I have completed no contact for 4 months. We broke up over a year ago but didn’t stop talking or hanging out until then. Well today we did talk just short. I know he’s dating someone but he didn’t tell me that. I must have said something wrong because he now stopped talking to me. What should I do? Do I still stand a chance?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      April 18, 2016 at 1:55 am

      Hi Jan,

      if he’s dating somebody then maybe that’s the reason he stopped talking to you.

  19. Maggie

    April 14, 2016 at 11:19 am

    Hello,

    I wanna share my story. Please, give some addvice. For more then 4 years I`m in love with some boy. We have strange relationship. He wants only sex from me and I know that, but I like to be with him. He was my drug. The days we ware together was great. But he scared to stay with me and after every meeting he says – that`s all, we have to be apart. And after weeks or months he check me again what I`m doing and come back. I thinking he is young (20) and when after going adult he`ll adopt me, treat me, appreciated me like his lady.

    But the situation is changed. He find some girl and he don`t tell me about this. I understand that from Facebook, He took a photos with her, celebrating her birthday, commented every her`s photo. It`s look like real relationship. And that hurts me a lot.
    I give my own to him, he was my first. I so much fall in love and he knows that, but here me now – from many mounths he don`t call me, he don`t care how am I. He unfriend me and I don`t do nothing to hurt him. He is so rude for me and so kind with her.
    What can I do? Maybe I love him, I know can`t be happy If he back to me again, but I can`t explain what is that kind of the person? I`m a girl, don`t deserve this behaviour and feel so bad and my heart is broken. I want he realize what terrible things do it to me.
    We don`t stay even friends.. My days going really bad and I`m scare to get another relationship.

    What to do?
    Thx

    1. Maggie

      May 4, 2016 at 2:44 pm

      Hi, It`s me again.
      I can`t understand how he starting a new relationship. How he can forget all good times with me? Before our relatonship was secretly and private and now – he posts a lot of pictures with her, commented, liked every things about her. His profile is public and showing all moments with her, like he is obsessed. Is he have a real feelings or fake? Is he wants attention, what goals?
      That hurts me.

    2. EBR Team Member: Amor

      May 7, 2016 at 12:15 pm

      it’s looks like it isa real relationship with her.. I don’t want to be harsh, but it has a lot to do with standards.. when you agreen to keep your relationship secret before that means it’s ok if he doesn’t take you seriously.. and maybe the other girl is not like that

    3. Maggie

      April 15, 2016 at 10:36 am

      Also please tell me more about public (Facebook PDA) and private sharing relationship status. We ware private (no online picture of us, no lovely cooments and etc. for this 4 years) and I think this was be real feelings. What do you think?

    4. EBR Team Member: Amor

      April 17, 2016 at 1:28 pm

      you don’t have to be higher.. you just have to be equal with each other.. if you know what you want and you’re ok with others having different opinion from you then they would also respect you.. With guys, when you know that you shouldn’t be treated in a certain way and they know you would walk away when you don’t want how you’re treated, then they would respect your more.. if you know and live by your standards, men will respect that. Build your confidence by doing what you love and excelling in them. SOrry I didn’t understand your question with Facebook.. what do you mean?

    5. Maggie

      April 14, 2016 at 3:12 pm

      Yes, I know. I take that lesson. Is there something that will help me to feel higher than him? Something to feel me better and he`ll see me in new way?

      Thx!

    6. EBR Team Member: Amor

      April 14, 2016 at 1:11 pm

      Hi Maggie,

      it has to start from you.. Peole will respect and value you more if you respect and value yourself..

  20. Susie

    April 14, 2016 at 9:36 am

    Hi,
    My name is Susie, I was in a very serious relationship with my ex for 1 year, and suring that 1 year we have plan our wedding. Both our parents have met, and we have booked our reception place, my wedding dress, our wedding rings are all ready. My ex sister did not like me from the very beginning of my relationship. For what reason I did not know. She is very manupulative, she will create dramas in front of my ex parents, accusing me of things that I did not do. Shed will try everything to sabotage my relationship with his brother.

    It became worse until to the day that it affect my boyfriend’s parents, that in the end my ex dad make my ex choose between me and family. My ex is family man, he broke our engagement and cancelled our wedding, he choose his family over me. I tried to talk him out of it to stay by my side to walk me thru it, but he does not have the confidence that we will be happy.

    He went out drinking almost every night, rarely speak to his family, he told me he is hurting just as much. I tried the NC but it did not work. I really want him back and wanted him to fight for me. But I don’t know whether I will still have the chance or not, it has been 6 months now.

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      April 14, 2016 at 1:02 pm

      Hi Susie,

      I admit if it had been 6 months..but have you been active in your nc? Did you went out and saw other people? If yes, are you still doing it today?

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