How To Get Your Ex Back When He's Moved On To A New Girl

3,819 thoughts on “Has He Moved On? How To Get Him Back If He Has A Girlfriend”

Peyton

February 17, 2020 at 4:23 am

My ex and I have been broken up for a year but we stayed in contact until I went no contact for a month and a half. Today I found out that he is talking to a new girl and he took her on a date on Valentine’s Day. I called him and asked about her and he was honest about everything and he told me about her and that they were just talking but not dating yet. I was super mature about it and I told him that I wished him the best and that I would stay out of the way and that I didn’t want to be in contact with him in any way unless he wasn’t with her because I didn’t want to mess anything up between them and he told me he was actually really glad that I called him and he said that it was very out of character for me to be so mature and understanding about the whole situation but that he really appreciated my maturity and I told him that me and my family will always love him and if he needs anything let me know and then I left it at that. What should I do now? We’ve been broken up for a year and he had many opportunities to be in a relationship with me but he kept saying that he wasn’t ready for a relationship but he revealed to me tonight that he never had any intentions of getting back together with me and that he had moved on and that my immaturity and toxicity just made him never want to be with me again. Do I move on and drop all hope of this relationship working or do I wait and see where it goes?

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

February 17, 2020 at 10:49 am

Hey Peyton you need to read about the being there method, the information is on this website and there are videos on Chris YouTube channel to help you too. If you want to move on of course you can but if you want to try and get your ex back then this is an option

Marie

December 27, 2019 at 4:48 pm

Hey. My ex boyfriend and I were in a long distance relationship for a few weeks when we broke up. Prior to my relocating for a job he and I had been together for 2.5 years and lived together for a year. We had been arguing over mistakes of the past and the stress of long distance ultimately broke us up. After not contacting him for 30 days I reached out and asked to get lunch since I was in town for the holidays. Initially he was hesitant but said yes as long as I didn’t get the wrong impression. He told me that he didn’t know if a person could have really changed in a month but he was beginning to see me again as the girl he fell in love with. He also told me that he had started talking to another girl. He told me we could start communicating as long as getting back together wasn’t the only reason. He said “I think my wanting to communicate is a positive sign.” I asked if we could schedule a weekly call but he said that didn’t feel natural. That if I met a guy at a bar i wouldn’t schedule time to talk so he didn’t want to do that. What should I do? Do I not talk to him or implement the being there method you guys have talked about.

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

January 3, 2020 at 12:08 am

Hey Marie, so you need to do another No contact and not skip the value chain! You coming out of a 30 day no contact and asking for a meet up is going way way too fast you should spend some time texting ( as in few weeks) introducing some phone calls and then facetime etc because you are long distance. And then a meet up after you have been in touch after a couple of months and got him to invest time in talking with you

Genisis

December 25, 2019 at 9:55 pm

My bf of 4 yrs kicked me out & took my car he bought me unexpectedly almost 2 months ago. He would reach out every now & then but didn’t really say much & never explained why he left me. 2wks ago he made me come out from my job to speak said he wasn’t done. Didn’t really talk much after that but he would txt small things here & there. 3 days ago I unexpectedly walked into him and what appeared to be an underage girl with her mother. We all got in a huge fight. I called the next day he answered. I kept calling he blocked my number from both phones except my last resort which is my txt app. I talked to him again yesterday he said don’t call & I knew this was coming. But if he moved on he would have been blocked my whole number & never answered. I have stopped & started the No contact today. Will this last? Will he come bck?

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

December 29, 2019 at 10:52 pm

Stick with a full no contact for 45 days and do not reach out to him at all. Work on yourself your emotional control and how to improve factors of your life you are unhappy with and from there you can reach out as a friend and try to re build your connection when your 45 days is over

Lucille may

December 9, 2019 at 9:59 pm

Hi chris my partner of 11 years just left me for another woman he had only met for one week, it’s only been eight weeks but moved in with her straight away she has two small children, and they are already engaged, she has two older children who do not approve ,do you think he will ever come back I’ve texted him lots but only answers when he needs to , he doesn’t want to see me he as told me he has never felt happier, I’m in bits and close to a nervous break down, what do you think my chances are

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

December 11, 2019 at 8:47 pm

Hi Lucille, so I think you need to take a step back and go into a No Contact so that you allow yourself to focus and heal from whats happened to you. The fact hes moved so fast with this other woman its going to crash and burn just as fast. But what you do not want to be is their common enemy where they both argue and blame you for their issues. So going into No Contact where your ex has time to realise his mistakes. While you find yourself again, after being with him for 11 years it will take time for you to get used to being on your own again but it does do you the world of good too. It does help you grow as a persona and that is coming from experience

Ciara

October 15, 2019 at 7:52 am

Hi, i was with my best friend and soul mate for ten years. Since we were 15. The last year things felt different and I developed the grass looks greener syndrome. I left him to months ago for one of our mutual friends. It was no good. But since being with him, it really made me love and appreciate my ex so much because no one is ever going to understand me like that and vice versa. We literally grew up together. When we were together, the last year I was very depressed, not making much money etc, and he grew frustrated with me but stuck by my side. When I left him, the new guy did the same exact thing to me so I have a complete understanding now of my ex’s frustrations he had with me. I want to do anything I can to make up for it and be the best person I can be for him, because that’s what I should’ve done the entire time but sometimes I feel like it takes seeing what life could be like without eachother to really realize it isn’t what you want. I reached out to him for the first time in 2 months today asking if we could talk, he CALLED me within 1 minute. I apologized and told him I ruined my life by leaving him. He seemed kind of upset by his voice. But he told me he had to go because his new girlfriend was coming over, that isn’t fair to her if hes on the phone with me, but he said he’d call me soon. I apologized again and he told me we’d make time to talk about it. I’m trying to be hopeful. His new girlfriend is ten years older than him with a 4 year old and my ex is nooooot a kid person what so ever. Never wanted any, nevermind someone else’s. So I’m hoping his eagerness and willingness to talk to me is and saying he’d call me soon and we’ll talk about it, I hope I can have the chance to do what I should’ve done a year ago. I have such clarity now and I don’t want to live the rest of my life knowing I ruined everything for myself over something so simple but I’m jumped the gun ☹️ we were eachothers PEOPLE. 100% did everything together. Grew up together. Best friends through and through. Do you think there might be a chance here? I’ve never written on one of these things before lol but thank you! Hopefully everything works out

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

October 15, 2019 at 4:04 pm

Hi Ciara, so it does depend on how the phone call goes from there. The actions you took will have damaged his trust in you so hopefully you can read up on how to work on that if he is willing to give you another chance. You also need to read the being there method if hes going to choose the new girlfriend and you decide you want him back.

Alice

September 17, 2019 at 9:52 pm

Hi Chris
I am desperate for help!
I was with my ex BF 6 years, he left me christmas day due to not being happy, he just ran off and ghosted me. We hung out once a week for the next 6 months, me telling him he is welcome back anytime. Then he blocked me and I found out he was seeing someone, I confronted him and the police got involved, he turned down an injunction. I became a beg, and annoying him, Ive pushed him away now and he is living in her flat with her! He added me back on everything 3 weeks ago and we have been talking daily rebuilding our friendship, untill I became a beg again and he blocked me. We had a huge fight last week his sister told me has been cheating on me with this woman for 2 years. I went to his pub he runs to talk yesterday, he denied it all. He said he desperatly needs space to sort his head and in 9 months he hasnt had 1 day without me contacting him, he cuddled me and said he will be in touch when he is ready. He was so angry, I know I need to leave him alone we cant move forward like this! I wrote him a letter today explaining how I feel and accepting we need space, how I want to fix things but I cant promise I will be waiting around. Do you think I have a chance? I cant give up on us but I know I havent given him a single day to miss me! Ive always been available, I know this woman he is lodging with isnt right for him.

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

September 19, 2019 at 5:22 pm

Hi Alice, everyone who gives this program a go and follows through with the advice are giving themselves the best chance of getting their ex back. Complete a NC and read all the materials you can relating to your situation and you’ll see progress 🙂

Sarah

September 14, 2019 at 9:20 pm

Hi Chris,

My ex and I broke up nearly 2 years ago after 2 years together, and we work together. We got on fine until April of this year and haven’t even attempted friendship since.
Over 2 years ago, a friend from work (I’ll call her Jane) and I were as close as we could be and whenever i had issues with my ex she would remind me how much we loved each other and he was besotted with me. She was the one who pushed me into giving the relationship a try from the start. She began seeing another guy from work but was cheating on him the entire time. Jane asked me what to do and I said that she needed to choose and if he asked I wouldn’t lie. My ex agreed with me but Jane was furious, and we have never spoke since.
I have found out that Jane has started seeing me ex. I am heartbroken. Neither know that I know but apparently it has been going on for around 2 months. When he and I started a relationship, after 2 months we were very serious. I know I don’t speak to either and don’t maintain a friendship with either, but it still feels like a betrayal and that the friendship and relationship meant nothing.
Please help!
Dana

September 9, 2019 at 4:44 am

Hi Chris,
Just a question. My ex left me for his ex. They were gf/bf 20 years ago and reunited. Is it considered as a rebound or cheating? He lied to that girl that he said, we broke up since last year which is not true. We were still on during that time. He told me before we broke up that i dont have enough effort or i am not constant until i discovered that he reunited with his ex. Is that considered a rebound or a continuation of their flames. Thank you for your wonderful article.

Shaunna

September 12, 2019 at 9:30 pm

Hi Dana, whats happened here is he has the grass is greener syndrome. At the moment he thinks this woman is the better option for him. What you need to do is be your best version of yourself. Be Ungettable, there is lots of material for you to read about both issues on this website 🙂

Kj

August 17, 2019 at 8:09 pm

Hi Chris,

My guy and I were in a so called relationship for about a year and a half. We did have lots of fights but we are just two very opinionated people. We always came out on the other side. We would talk, text and FaceTime more than once a day, everyday. We were pretty much even living together. He always said he didn’t want a girlfriend but we had the unspoken no dating other people rule. A few months ago I took a new job which has me based on the other side of the country but I’m able to and do fly home every week for a few days. A few weeks ago he went on a 2 week backpacking trip and ended developing feelings for the girl he went with. He told me that we had grown apart and that I left. But that’s not true. Things were still working up until the last week of his trip. He told me he’s invested in this new girl and trying things. I know that couldn’t have been the end for us and I know things would work if we got the chance but I’m at a loss of what to do. He’s pretty much blocked me from all his social media and life. Please help!
NH

July 30, 2019 at 6:46 pm

So my ex and I broke up almost 2 weeks ago. He said it was because of the distance 3 hrs. Before we broke up he said he wanted space from things so I tried but he kept messaging me and I would respond and sometimes attach to hard when I don’t think he was ready. Finally I got upset at him one night when he was being short witty me and he broke up with me. He kept saying distance and the space i didn’t give him. Well I found out 2 days after the break up he was going on a date . I asked him about it and he said he had only been talking to her for a few days before we broke up. We have talked 3 times since the breakup the last time being him completely saying he hated himself and karma was going to get him and he was so sorry he hurt me but he couldn’t try anymore. I love him so much but with this new girl I know he’s dating and everything I don’t know what to do! Help please
Amee

July 28, 2019 at 9:41 am

Hi Chris,
I met a European (divorced) guy online (I’m from Asia) through a professional site. He reached out to me, introduced himself and said he wanted to get to know me. We have known each other for two months. At first, I was just answering his questions (if I had a family, what my hobbies were, etc.) I was sort of going with the flow, but eventually, our conversations went deeper and romantic. We did not not have an actual labeled relationship, but we exchanged messages like that of lovers. Until he said he has already fallen in love with someone else – same nationality as his and same age. He said he wants us to stay in contact, as friends. But I want to get him back. After all, he was really interested in me before he met that girl. Is there a chance that I could win him back? Is it a good idea that we stay friends in hopes that he would come back to me when things don’t go well with the girl?
Unknown

July 10, 2019 at 12:29 am

Hi Chris,

Me and my so called bf,were together for 5 years,we never had sex,in 2017 somewhere we were planning to get married but then one of our friend ex came in picture to be friend with me,but then it was me my bf and her hanging put together,my bfs mom passed away last year and that is the time i believed they both had sex and they were seeing eachother since then behind my back, and this year he left me for her still keeping me in dark, and they are living together, and he is ready to marry her..due to religious and otherwise I preferred and waited to have sex with him after marriage but this girl took the advantage as we both were fighting and he was in a weak position..but he insulted me alot last year and was somehow trying for me to leave him by myself without knowing the truth, despite all this i still love him! But he is scared of that girl…sometimes he give me mixed signal i tried no contact,i just dont know what to do….i really want him back, he is living with her, aswell as working at the same place..i did all the wrong things at first,then applied no contact and now we were in contact again, but again he is not the one chasing me..and he is not ready to lose her….but at times he does say if she wants she can leave him……i didnt wished him birthday and when i talked to him he mentioned that how upset he was and that he kept telling that girl that i will call him but i didnt, after a month it was my birthday and he did same thing,but i went to holiday by myself, and later when i came back i called him to get some of my money back that he borrowed and then again we got in touched,and that is when i mentioned about my trip he was shocked..we met after that he kept holding me and saying how things would have been different and that he might come back…he is the one who cheated and lied left me, and i am still the one begging i want him to chase me and want me and realise what we had was special.
Shiloh Seglin

July 8, 2019 at 9:05 am

Hi I started the whole thing. I told him he had to do something or leave. Then I went to work. I cant be on my phone at work. He texted me a few times but I cn ouldn’t really talk/ And I was very mean to him but I still expected him to be there when I got home. well he wasn’t. He had moved out. I was mean to him when I texted him because I was so hurt he left.. Accused him of cheating. He stoped responding to my texts. I went to his work. He te. xted me said he had started dating a girl at work. She had started morking there in the past few weeks. He has given me the silent treatment before for days so I was agin hurt and surprised. He does live about an hour from me. I went home and cried myself to sleep. As it turns out I missed a few texts from him when i wokeup but he wouldn’t respond. A few days later there was a picture of the 2 of them. I was so hurt I blew up his phone then he blocked me every where except his phone. I continued to blow up his phone. Finally he sent me a text saying he loved me but was not in love with me anymore. He had moved on and I needed to also. Plus he said it hurt way to much to read my messages. I have sent him more texts he ignored two . other times. This happened 5 or 6 weeks ago. I have been pretty sucsessful for the . few week with the NC rule. I have since relized he did not block my son. He has posted a few things he wanted me to see. Hurtful stuff directed at me and he never puts stuff up. The crazy part is we would have been celubrating our 2 year annivursery in a few days. They haven’t even known eachother 2 months! Should I continue with NC or what?
worried

June 24, 2019 at 5:54 pm

My ex and i were together for 15 years. In 2012 he left me and went to live with another women. We got back together but the trust was gone. Since then its been up and down. We bought a house together a couple years ago. Then he started all the same tell tell signs he did in 2012, and i found out he was doing it again. when confronted he moved in with her. Part of me wants to see him rot in hell. Another part still loves him, but the worst part is the house, i need his financial support to keep it and now im stuck. Is there anything i can do?
Kristin

June 23, 2019 at 12:27 pm

Hello Chris,
I’m Kristin me and my ex were off and on for a year and a half, I broke up with him for lack of consistency, then sometimes he would be hesitant about getting back together when we spoke of it saying we fight allot, so they had a festival that came up and he knew he hurt me and decides he is going to announce in front of family and friends that I’m his girlfriend which it was a bad time due to us drinking and I was still mad at him from our previous conversations so I said no I’m not! He got embarrassed and walked off but that didn’t stop him from pursuing that night

Chris Seiter

June 23, 2019 at 3:02 pm

Hi Kristin….sounds like you might want to consider No Contact for a period of time. Check out my Program – EBR Pro Bundle for a complete approach to how you should navigate through all this.

Alyssa

May 16, 2019 at 1:02 am

Hi Chris,

To make this long story short, my ex boyfriend and I were friends for years because of mutual friends. We ended up dating and dated for 2 years. We lived together from day 1 but we had a very rocky relationship after the first few months. I moved back home after a year of living together because he kicked me out. Anyway, my ex boyfriend lost his father and ever since then he took his drinking and sometimes drug use to an extreme and took it out on me. He would verbally abuse me and go on serious benders for days and not remember anything. He even got himself in some legal trouble. I did everything I could to help him but he pushed me further and further away no matter what I did. There was cheating incidents on both sides but we both just let them go or until a fight happened and it would be thrown in my face even though he did the same thing. I know you’re reading this thinking why the hell would I want this relationship back and it’s because I know who he is and this isn’t him. The person I fell in love with is there somewhere I know it. He’s just going through something serious and refuses to aknowlegde the severity of it and get help. I’m actually afraid for his life now that he pushed me out of the picture. Regardless, the night we broke up, he asked me to move back in with him and then two hours later we got into a huge blow out fight (typical of us) and he ended it with me. He told me I do nothing but bring him down and he has to figure his issues out and can’t be in a relationship with me or anyone. I don’t get how I bring him down because why would you ask me to move back in with you not even two hours earlier. In reality I should have broken up with him. I stayed through everything he did to me. The breakup was horrible to say the least and he told me he never wanted to be with me ever again. A month later he called me to ask a question he could have figured out on his own and we had a civil conversation. The conversation then led us to text the next few days and we hungout twice. I even slept at his house both times. We had a really good time both times but he randomly decided it was a mistake seeing me and blocked my number. I then found out from mutual friends that he has a new girlfriend who has the same name as me and they’ve been talking for a month and a half. Everyone’s like that’s why he texted you because he thought it was her. Like first how crazy is it to be in a relationship that soon even after you said you can’t be in a relationship with anyone and with someone who has my name. Not to mention if they were dating for a month and a half already then he cheated on her with me twice. And if the texts were meant for her wouldn’t you think he would realize when I showed up and not her. He still calls me and texts me randomly but I can’t respond back since I’m blocked. He can contact me but I can’t contact him. I don’t know what to do. I’ve done the no contact and I am blocked anyway so I have no choice to do it but I just want us back. Is there even hope, is this girl a rebound, should I just give up? Clearly it’s not the best relationship currently but when we were good we were great and I have to believe this is just an issue he’s going through. Suggestions?
Alyssa

May 16, 2019 at 12:56 am

Hi Chris,

To make this long story short, my ex boyfriend and I were friends for years because of mutual friends. We ended up dating and dated for 2 years. We lived together from day 1 but we had a very rocky relationship after the first few months. I moved back home after a year of living together because he kicked me out. Anyway, my ex boyfriend lost his father and ever since then he took his drinking and sometimes drug use to an extreme and took it out on me. He would verbally abuse me and go on serious benders for days and not remember anything. He even got himself in some legal trouble. I did everything I could to help him but he pushed me further and further away no matter what I did. There was cheating incidents on both sides but we both just let them go. I know you’re reading this thinking why the hell would I want this relationship back and it’s because I know who he is and this isn’t him. The person I fell in love with is there somewhere I know it. Regardless, the night we broke up, he asked me to move back in with him and then two hours later we got into a huge blow out fight (typical of us) and he ended it with me. He told me I do nothing but bring him down. Which I don’t get because why would you ask me to move back in with you not even two hours earlier. In reality I should have broken up with him. I stayed through everything he did to me. The breakup was horrible to say the least and he told me he never wanted to be with me ever again. A month later he called me and we had a civil conversation. The conversation then led us to text the next few days and we hungout twice. I even slept at his house both times. We had a really good time both times but he randomly decided it was a mistake and blocked my number. I then found out from mutual friends that he has a new girlfriend who has the same name as me and they’ve been talking for a month and a half. Like first how crazy is it to be in a relationship that soon and with someone who has my name. Not to mention if they were dating for a month and a half already then he cheated on her with me twice. He still calls me and texts me but I can’t respond back since I’m blocked, so he can contact me but I can’t contact him. I don’t know what to do. I’ve done the no contact and I am blocked so I have no choice to do it but I just want us back. Is there even hope, is this a rebound, should I just give up?
Sarah FY

May 5, 2019 at 2:10 pm

I have been in a 9yr long relationship. Apparently, he slept with someone else he called his “bff” that I had my doubts on and then later dumped for I asked him to stop talking with her. He also have cheated on me a lot many times but I ignored as I loved him a lot. But he continued to manipulate me to get rid of him. I tried NCR but all in vain. We met up while attending a marriage and then spent 2 days together. I tried talking to him to mend things and that we patch up but after returning home, 2days later he dumped me again. I was destroyed and heart broken and then stopped being in contact with him untill two weeks before, I met him and then we slept together but then I reached home and he started distant again. Later I came to know that he has been seeing someone else for the last 4 months but he has the nerve to sleep with me. He now doesn’t want to talk or meet me. What should I do? It’s been such a long time with him that I can’t move on at all. I don’t know what’s going on in his mind. I tried asking him but he doesn’t speak up. I love him a lot and I want him back what should I do? Please help. I am in hell lot of pain.
Rebecca Bacon

May 4, 2019 at 2:19 pm

Me and my ex boyfriend were together for 8 yrs. We tried living together and did for 3yrs. He kicked me and my daughter out back in November but we would still see each othe. He broke up with me February 23rd of this year because of my anger, attitude, and insecurities. We did fight a lot but it was mostly about his son….who doesn’t like me. I have done so much for him and put my life and happiness on hold for him. On April 6th he told me that he had hung out with someone else and would probably do it again. He said he told me 4 or 5 months ago he was done which is not true. He has been seeing this new girlfriend for about 2 months I guess. They are spending the night together and together all the time. He recently started posting pictures of them on his story on FB. They both have me blocked. I still have some bigger things at his house and try to get stuff while he is not home. I ran into the other day at his house and he cussed me like a dog for no reason. I have been going to therapy for all my issues because I want me back and I can change but he keeps telling me I can’t and throwing it up in my face about the way I talked to him. He is being so mean to me and I try not to talk to him or be around him….and we work together. I still live him and care for him but he told me he really didn’t like me and hasn’t for a long time, he just tolerated me. Help me please!!!

Chris Seiter

May 5, 2019 at 1:35 am

Perhaps employing a form of limited No Contact might be the right medicine.

Jessica

April 8, 2019 at 5:15 pm

Hi Chris,
My situation is my ex and I been together more than 2 years in a long distance relationship,but he always has a school vocation and come to visit me 2months per year. Anw, we got too much memories but just sometime we fight and broke up like 3 times during this 2 years but we still end up getting back together. But this last time we broke up like only 3 months he already in a relationship with his new girl. But the things is even we break up we still chatting with each other and being friend, in this meantime I always ask him if he see and found other girl yet, he said he doesn’t he want to stay alone. And when I ask him if he still love me , he said he still love me. We still keep meet each other sometime. But in the last time I saw his comment with his new girl is a couple conversation, then i ask him what is this why you have been hiding me and why you don’t tell me the true then he said he doesn’t want to hurt me. What is I wonder is why he keep meet me and say he loves me while he got his new girl. Is it a rebound or what ? Can u give me an advise for this? To be honest I still love him so much.

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3,819 thoughts on “Has He Moved On? How To Get Him Back If He Has A Girlfriend”