How To Get Your Ex Back When He's Moved On To A New Girl

3,819 thoughts on “Has He Moved On? How To Get Him Back If He Has A Girlfriend”

Allie

July 22, 2013 at 11:45 pm

Well, me and my ex dated long distance for about a year and then we broke up about two months ago. He was going through a lot and I was there for him as much as I could be being 200 miles away and all, but we started fighting a bit more than usual and he said he doesn’t feel like he’s giving his all in the relationship and can’t handle being in one but still wanted to be “friends”. Of course I was devastated, and to add more salt to the wound he just got a new girlfriend who looks like a roadkill possum. She’s seriously the most tragic looking girl I’ve ever seen.
But back to the main point, ever since we broke up we still somewhat had fights and civil conversations. One night we were on the phone and I broke down crying because I was so hurt and all he could say was that he was sorry. I was there for him at his worse, even when he was being suicidal. I was there for him through everything and I still am. I’m trying to move on but I really can’t help but want him back. That’s all I want. I’ve never loved someone like with him and vice versa. Recently, I sent his stuff back to him via Fedex to try and help move on, yet he told me to come all the way up to where he lives to get my stuff and just refuses to send it to me. So this weekend I’m actually going up there to visit my best friend, but I’m suppose to meet him to get my things. I feel like this is the only time to really reconcile my chance with him but I have no way to go about it. I know this new girl wouldn’t do half the things I did for him and I don’t want to risk finding out. What should I do?

I’ve tried doing the NC rule, I told him to stop calling me and stop texting me yet he still does. I’ve dyed my hair, lost quite a bit of weight, and recently came back from a trip to Vegas with my friends, in which he liked all my pictures. I’m just not sure of how to go about meeting him.

admin

July 23, 2013 at 3:22 am

Well, why don’t you text him and ask him out. If you have tried everything already and it hasn’t worked I suppose you can go with a hail mary pass and just be really forward with him.

Though, I have a feeling that it won’t end well for you if you do that.
Allie

July 23, 2013 at 5:06 am

Well I was pretty forward at first, he felt the same way and we did get back together for a bit but then it was back to the same ridiculous fights and that’s when the big breakup happened.

How can I ask him out when he has a girlfriend?
Things are just so much harder since its long distance.
admin

July 24, 2013 at 3:48 am

Well, I am not into breaking couples up so I wouldn’t advise you to ask him out while he has a girlfriend. I do think it would be ok to chat on the phone in your case and try to retain/repair your relationship while his runs its course.
Allie

July 25, 2013 at 4:18 am

Well it was two months after we broke up. Things have been okay these last couple of days, we’re still talking. I haven’t brought up the subject of getting my things from him because every time we talk about it he gets defensive. I talked to one of my guy friends about the situation, and he says he’s holding on to my things for a reason. What do you think?

Thank you for all the help Chris, You are amazing,
admin

July 26, 2013 at 2:28 am

Why would a guy hold on to things? Hmm… I am thinking that there has to be some signficiance of your things to him. Maybe he wants to hold on to them because he doesn’t want the breakup to be final for some reason. That is a tricky one. I am going to have to think more about that..
Allie

July 24, 2013 at 11:59 am

Would she be considered a rebound though? They did get together pretty fast…
admin

July 25, 2013 at 1:59 am

The faster they get together the more likely they are to be rebounds. However, my word isn’t solid. There are exceptions to every rule. Just hope shes not the exception.
Allie

July 24, 2013 at 12:03 am

Also we actually talked all day today through text messages which was pretty nice seeing we haven’t really talked in a week. Plus he always initiates the conversation.

Vanessa

July 22, 2013 at 10:45 pm

My ex broke up with me 8 months ago. We were fighting over the past nonstop. But in the 8 months we text fight daily maybe 60 texts a day we’ve never broken contact and we meet up once a week. Go to dinner, never hook up of anything. Every time I try and move on he gets jealous but when I say then let’s be together he says no. Last week he texts me he has decided to get involved with a friend of his and won’t be contacting me anymore. Then on Thursday texts if I was seeing someone. We text fight again. I have gone no contact. Can you give me insight. We are not teenagers were in our mid 30’s. he now says he hates me.

admin

July 23, 2013 at 3:17 am

My god…. he sounds like a teenager, no offense hahaha. I think he can’t stand the thought of you with someone else.

I would say go NC on him for sure. Don’t break down Venessa!

Teddy

July 22, 2013 at 10:31 pm

I have a question? My boyfriend and I broke up in Jan after dating for 9 months. He was going through a divorce and he decided that seeing other woman was better. He started this before breaking up with me. He wanted to stay friends because we worked together too. Well, we never ended the relations of the relationship. I found out he had another girlfriend and he told me it wasn’t true. Is there hope to get him back or should I get out?

admin

July 23, 2013 at 3:15 am

Your ex sounds like a major &*(^*bag. No offense, I would say you are better off without him. However, if you want to give this a try go NC on him immediately.

Monica

July 21, 2013 at 7:10 am

I’ll try to make this short.Matt fell in love with me instantly for months he chased me and although we fooled around I treated him badly at first for months until something dramatic happened in my life and he stood by me. He was there in ways no one else was so I started falling in love and finally gave in we became a couple. After 10 months we got married (Feb. 2013) at first it was good after I worked but he didn’t. He also had a drug problem which after we started dating he dropped just to be with me cuz I wouldn’t tolerate it. Just had to mention that. So I provided everything. Paid all the bills food cigs all of it. Starting in April we had some issues and began fighting constantly … about everything. He would lie about petty things or just be a jerk. Everyone said how stupid I was for allowing him yo treat me like he was a king and I was his servant. Because as I told you for months he followed me around like s lost puppy before we ever married but I was the mean one. Anyway, about a month ago he finally decided hr was tired of editing at home and got a job at s restaurant. His entire family warned me that when matt wasn’t working he wouldn’t chest because he had no opportunity but it was a mistake to let him work. I believed in my husband and just thought to myself we were different because were married. He was never married before. Right after he began working, we really fought all the time. He was constantly on his phone and wasn’t Affectionate. Finally I knew he was using again after he got his first paycheck. I know how he acts high so this was what a lot of our fights were about. One night (3 weeks after he started working) he came home high I tried not to fight but I had to be at work early and he kept annoying Mr & waking me up. I couldn’t take it anymore. I began raising hell in which led to a HUGE fight. He left and walked to his brothers house. He stayed there a few nights I tried to call and text but he was just cold. My brother works at the same place he does and finally my brother came to me and told me the night after our fight a girl came to pick him up. I asked my husband but he brushed it off saying it was a friend of his brothers and he needed a ride. But then my brother told me she drops him off and picks him u everyday plus he thought he saw them kiss. I (of course) got angry and text my husband and mean things. We were hateful to each other. Very hateful. And even though we often fought and he left he always came right back this was the first time he had stayed gone. On or about the 4th day he showed up at our house with this girl and the police to get his belongings. Needless to say we have a ton a friends (more so my friends that just know him thru me) who have seen him everywhere with this girl. Its been almost 2 weeks. He hasn’t called or asked anyone about me. With the exception of his brother who only once or twice went on a texting spree and text me evil hateful things… saying his brother left because I was too fat or stupid little remarks. I’m devastated. I didn’t ever think he would leave or think he would have a girlfriend so quickly (which means he was probably with her before he left or at least talking to her). I’m confused. He’s my husband. He is acting like we were just dating and we broke up. I take my vows seriously and don’t know what to do. I love him and desperately want back that man who was so in love with me he chased me for months. So in love with me that I’m the only girl go ever make him settle down. I know I have fault in his leaving, and I’m willing to fix things but he won’t even speak to me. I contacted him the first few days but haven’t spoken with him since as I know that no contact with him will make him curious, but it feels like an eternity. I don’t think he loves me anymore and when he first meets someone he falls right in, so I know he’s got to be crazy about this girl. How do I get him back home? And how do I make understand were married… I love him and I just need my husband back. Please help me!!!

admin

July 21, 2013 at 10:57 pm

I am sorry that is such a sad story :/.

Is he still using drugs?

I would say that he obviously isn’t taking his vows seriously. The new girl is proof enough of that. Actually your best course of action is to cut off communication for a few months.

Does he seem like the type of person that will hold things against people? Because you are going to have a really tough time if you said things to him that were really hurtful he may hold them against you forever. Some men are just like that.

Giee

July 21, 2013 at 3:05 am

I need advice trgrding this issue. Thing is my ex boyfriend broke up with me because although he showed me that he loves me and stuff, I was too insecure about his ex girlfriend. They were together for 4yrs, was supposed to be married but he found out the girl was cheating on him. They have the LDR and they also only met online. They see each other once or twice a year, but the girl only stays in his country for not longer than 1-2mos. I’ve know my ex boyfriens since elementary since he’s my bestfriends brother. I was scheduled to go abroad 4mos after we got together, I asked him if he was okay with that set up and said yes since he loves me that much and he’s willing to wait since I’ll only be gone for 6mos. While I was away, he was consistent in sending me messages and trying to keep what we have alive but I since I had insecurities Inmade him feel like I didn’t believe hime and I would often be moody, 2mos. in while I’m abroad, Inwent too far in pushing him away and he couldn’t take it anymore since I hurt him with the words I said. I apologized a lot for it and a few days later, because of something I said again, he broke up with me. He also said that he will never ever like me again and we can neer be together again. But he tells me he wants to be friends and wants us to keep in touch, which is most likely going to happen ecause while I’m away, he takes care of our baby doggy. It’s been 2mos. since the break up and I’ll be going back in 2 1/2mos. I feel like I still want to get back with him when I return to our country. While I was gone, there have been a few times where we messaged each other but mostly because of our dog. But mostly, I was the one who initiated the talk since his sister wouldn’t reply to my messages. It’s like I messge him as my last choice but during those times that we talk via messaging, it always went well. He even said that he would teach me how to drive when I get back and that if I know how to, can I color his hair into a different shade when I get back. There was even that surprising moment when he messaged me that he changed his apple ID and padsword and since he knows it’s the same account I use, he thought it would be good to tell me the new ones. The thing is, I’m afraid that he’s only being nice to me since I’m his sisters bestfriend, I really want to get back with him when I ho home, but i keep on remembering when he said that he’ll never love me that way again and that once the break up is done with, nothing can change his mind into getting back with his ex again. What do you think I should do? Do you think we could still get back together? Thanks in adavance.

admin

July 21, 2013 at 10:42 pm

Have you tried going NC?

That would be the initial first step.
Giee

July 21, 2013 at 2:18 pm

*We’ve known each other for more more than 10yrs already, but we weren’t really that close. Although he did help me with a few stuff from time to time before, it was only last year that we got close. We were together for a total of 6mos. (Including the 2mos. that I’ve been away abroad)

Jennifer

July 20, 2013 at 8:06 pm

My bf broke up three weeks ago and claimed he needed time and space. He said he thought I was always critical and didnt really love him. His family never liked me and I think they pushed him into this. He cried when he broke things off saying maybe if changes were made we could get back together in the future. He wanted to stay in contact and be friends which I agreed and he said he would re add me on Facebook. He never did and one week afterwards I texted him and he never responded. I’m now on Day 12 NC but I’m confused. It was a three year LTR, and I know he had bought an engagement ring.

I also learned his family told him to join a dating website and he has met a girl on there four days post breakup and they have gone out a few times
Apparently he really thinks they are compatible but he tells people they are taking it slow (she also just for out of a LTR)

Is that possibly a rebound? Definitely not his type in many areas and they are seeing each other all the time.

Besides no contact do I need to be doing anything else in hopes of reconciliation?

I know mistakes were made on both sides of the relationship but he is telling people stories that aren’t true (kind of justifying his actions)

I would really like another chance and besides emotionally fixing myself what can I do? I’m already in great shape (fitness model) but I want to give us another chance.

admin

July 21, 2013 at 10:35 pm

Generally speaking, guys can move on faster than girls do. HOWEVER, it doesn’t mean that the new relationship they get into will last. If the two of you dated for a long time and he moves on immediately that means the chances of it being a rebound are really high. Of course, there are always exceptions to that rule.

I like that you really read what I wrote.

Well, I would recommend that you do the following things during NC:

Go out with friends a lot.
Keep in good shape.
Try going out on a date with someone new
Go shopping and get some hot new clothes (you could especially tear it up since you are a fitness model.)

cynthia

July 20, 2013 at 5:07 pm

hey i been in a realationship for 5 years now in rencently broking up for now two months now but rencently stop seeing in stop talking for two weeks now in he haves a new girl friend he always tells me he still loves me to death in he cares about me a lot but he tired of my attitude in our arguements in now that im pregnant by him it dont seems that he want to be here for me no more he just want to be there for his baby but he said that it still could be a chance for use being to gether later on in life but i want to be with him in i have made mistakes by telling him i love him basiclly bagging him back but i stoped in rencently we stop talking now it been two weeks i been doing the no contact rule what do i do now i want him back i think im loosing the love of my life.

admin

July 21, 2013 at 10:26 pm

Ok Cynthia,

No contact alone probably won’t be enough to get him back. You should still do it but I just want you to be realistic about this. You are actually kind of stuck between a rock and a hard place right now. Is he still dating the new girl?

Katie

July 19, 2013 at 5:02 pm

My situation is a little messed up, so I am hoping for no judgement. I had an affair with this guy while I was married and the relationship became on and off because I couldn’t figure out if I wanted to be married or not – I didn’t want to hurt anyone’s feeling and I didn’t want to make the wrong decision. My marriage had been hurting for awhile, so it wasn’t out of the blue. Basically over this time, he invited me home for holidays and on trips and I just never went. We hung out all the time and it was amazing, but I definitely was not as involved as a normal relationship. I finally took some time off to get my shit together and I made a decision that I love him and want to be with him. We talked again after for a bit and had a great time, but then all of a sudden he wasn’t avialable anymore. He said he “eventually” was going to meet someone else and that he did and I was too late. The ironic part was that we were talking, but I didn’t communicate my new feelings to him as I thought they were implied. He said that I should have told him months ago. He said “he didn’t want to stop seeing this girl as he wanted to see where it goes”, but kept saying “think I want to see her” and bringing up all the stuff I never committed too. We talk now and he responds as I don’t want to stop talking to him as I fear he will forget about me as I want this to work now that it can. I have seen him since as at first he didnt want to see me, but eventually he talked to me about everything since it was so vague in the beginning. He tells me he still cares for me, he misses me and that I am beautiful. The last time we hung out together (still dating this girl), he said he had tons of fun but it didn’t change anything. He invited this new girl instead of me to an event we talked about, when it was clear that we have the same interest in this event. I just dont know what to do as I don’t want to lose him as it appears he clearly has feelings for me, but is trying to move on or punishing me? i don’t want to ruin it anymore, but I don’t think I can stand the sight of the new girl if I see him out with the same group of friends but I feel I need to go out to get myself out there and visible as haivng fun, etc. I just feel that now that it can work, he is giving up and i dont know how to fix it since I have really messed it up and he is not budging for the last time. I mean, we broke up and got back together multiple times. His main complaint was I was never around, never hung out with friends and he could never come over. He said I couldnt give him the committment he wanted. We had fun when we were together always and now that I can do that and I want to be in his life and committ, I don’t know how to show him we can make it work? Is it really too late? I dont want to seem so serious and loose that fun element of our relationship.

Giee

July 21, 2013 at 3:09 am

*We’ve known each other for more more than 10yrs already, but we weren’t really that close. Although he did help me with a few stuff from time to time before, it was only last year that we got close. We were together for a total of 6mos. (Including the 2mos. that I’ve been away abroad)
admin

July 20, 2013 at 4:39 am

Ok, I am a little confused. Are you still married or did you get divorced?

The new girl may be a rebound. When was the last time that the two of you had a conversation?
Katie

July 22, 2013 at 1:37 pm

Separated, but not officially “paperwork” divorced. I live elsewhere as I moved out and he knows that. I talk to him pretty much every day either by text or sometimes more now by phone. I dont always initiate it, but I have been making the effort to call since he said I never did that before. I tried to avoid him this weekend and show how much “fun” I can have without him, but still ended up talking to him on Sunday night – at his request as he was curious as to what I did all weekend.
admin

July 23, 2013 at 2:52 am

Well, maybe some time apart with you two not talking at all will be best for the both of you.
Katie

July 19, 2013 at 5:12 pm

I should also mention the time delay when we started talking again was maybe 2 months, then we talked for a few weeks then supposedly he me this year 2 weeks after. So he probably has been seeing her now for like maybe 3 weeks – rebound?
Katie

July 19, 2013 at 5:19 pm

type *supposedly he met her 2 weeks after*
Keep in mind that we “dateD” for 2 years and he waited for me the entire time, but it took so little time for this switch. I realize there is a breaking point, but why give up after waiting that long already?

Esraa

July 18, 2013 at 9:38 pm

Hello,
I have been in a relationship for two years and a half and I broke up with my fiancee 11 months ago, he started a new relationship with a new girl two months ago. He was in contact with me and all my friends and family during the first 9 months and he wanted to come back but I was still not sure I want to be back with him. And now I feel I want him badly but not because he is with another girl but our breakup was a mistake. Do you think he is in a rebound relationship after 11 months? And do you think I still can get him back? How? I tried to get him back when I knew he is with another girl but he refused and he told me to forget about him and to go on in my life without him

admin

July 19, 2013 at 2:04 am

I am going to be honest with you. I don’t think it’s a rebound. Too much time has passed. However, why didn’t you take him back? Now he thinks that you don’t want him back.
Esraa

July 19, 2013 at 1:52 pm

thanks for your reply .. he still ask my friends about me and he expresses that he is not happy in general and till 2 months right before he has the new relationship he had hope that we could get back together ..my question is: is there any hope of getting him back ?
admin

July 19, 2013 at 10:21 pm

Right now… it’s not likely.

However, if this new relationship plays out and ends quickly then I would say you have a shot.

heather

July 18, 2013 at 5:44 pm

So my husband and I have been together 8 yeArs married 5. We separated 2 in a half months ago, a week After splitting he got a new girlfriend. We have a daughter together and he’s seen her twice since the split. Both times I slept with him, dumb I know. I was desperate to get him back. I’ve pleaded begged and just been desperate and obsessive. I recently heard they are talking about moving in together. Right now she lives 200 miles away and they see one.another once a week for a couple days. He says they are.in love and never fight and are happy. I want him back and Im on day two of no contact. I tried about a week ago went five days then had an emergency with my daughter and had to contact.him. I want us to Workout and Im willing to change myself for the better. Can you give me any advice reguarding my situation?

admin

July 19, 2013 at 2:02 am

UGH those stupid new girls.

No contact will help but I think you would benefit more by playing a little hard to get. Desperate girls aren’t exactly a turn on for guys. You offered him free sex and he took it but he had no intention of coming back. Right now, the chase is going the wrong way. It should be him chasing you, not the other way around.

denise

July 18, 2013 at 10:48 am

me and my boyfriend of a year and a half broke up a moth ago and he already has a new girlfriend we don’t talk at all and when he sees me he just puts his head down and can’t even look at me but on face book he likes my pictures and statuses and I love him and really want to be back with him what do I do

admin

July 19, 2013 at 1:56 am

Do the things on this page: https://www.exboyfriendrecovery.com/how-get-your-ex-boyfriend-back/

Natalie

July 18, 2013 at 7:11 am

My ex-boyfriend/best friend and I broke up 3 years ago after a 5-year relationship. I was completely blindsided since we had a solid friendship and relationship, but he broke up with me because he no longer wanted to be in a relationship.

We managed to remain best friends over the years and felt like we were still emotionally dating, but after finding out recently that he is “dating” someone new, I knew the time had come and I could no longer be friends with him anymore. He wants to have me in his life as his best friend AND also date this new girl. Sorry kid, you can’t have your cake and eat it too!

I feel like I’m going through a second breakup, except it hurts so much more the second time around. I’m trying my best to initiate no contact, but it has been so difficult since I’m used to contacting him nearly daily. This guide has been helpful not because my #1 motive is to get him back, but I really just want to get myself back. I’m tired of being held down by the actions/emotions/decisions of someone else. But the hopeless romantic in me can’t help but wonder if we’re really through. People tell me that we’ve been broken up for too long for any chance of reconciliation, but I just can’t help but wonder “What If.”

admin

July 19, 2013 at 1:54 am

Hi Natalie,

Let me ask you something. What are you doing during your no contact to better yourself?

P.S. doing stuff during NC helps you heal TRUST ME!

Shelly

July 17, 2013 at 4:27 pm

Thanks for such a great website!

I am unsure whether he has a new girlfriend or not, but hoping you might be able to offer advice on whether I should give up all hope, or continue to have faith we could get back together.

We were childhood sweethearts who reunited years later (first dated at age of 15, then reunited at 45). I’m single, he is going through a divorce. We dated for 8 months and it was WONDERFUL. Then he started to become distant, and claimed he was overwhelmed with emotions and the divorce process was more than he thought he could handle, and he wasn’t ready to be in a relationship. We broke up, 3 months ago — his choice, not mine. I thought giving him space (no contact) might make him feel comfortable enough to come back to me… or at least connect as friends (we promised we would always remain friends). He regularly “likes” photos on my facebook page, and sometimes even comments on my facebook posts, be we do not speak at all in “real life.” I’m not sure what to think. I’ve sent him 2 texts over the last three months … both of which he answered… but the conversation dies there. I don’t want to chase him, but I’m confused by his facebook interaction. Does he still want to be in my life? Is there a chance for us in the future? I would think if he had truly moved on that he wouldn’t bother visiting my facebook page at all. It’s like he’s playing some sort of mind game, and it’s breaking my heart.

Any advice appreciated. Thanks!

Shel

admin

July 17, 2013 at 7:24 pm

Whats up Shelly!

I would say this, someone going through a divorce is all messed up. He may very well want to experience the single life for a while. With that being said, I think he still has feelings for you for sure.

Try going NC for a little bit and then make sure you control any texting conversations you might have. Shoot for doing this after your texting interactions “did I leave him wanting more?”
Shelly

July 18, 2013 at 7:21 pm

Thank you for your reply! I’ll go completely NC for awhile… here’s hoping maybe he’ll reach out to me. Fingers crossed.

Cat

July 17, 2013 at 7:11 am

My boyfriend & I broke up 2 months ago it was both our faults. I realized the mistake I made in over reacting I guess it was too late though cuz he said he’d had enough I called him a drunk a**hole because he chose to go drinking instead of sticking to the plans that we made earlier to see each other. Fast forward 3 weeks later & after sending him endless text mssgs pleading, his ex called me saying he’d been cheating on me w/her. She left my ex 4 years ago to marry the man she cheated on him w/& I’ve been w/my ex for over a year and a half she now calls herself his girlfriend & is now divorcing her husband & said she & my ex are in love & always have been. They have a son together as well & I guess that’s what she used to get him back. He’s never said anything to me about her until 1 night I drunk texted him asking him to talk which he said ok I winded up sleeping over though nothing happened I have texted him apologizing for my part & his reply was he didn’t think we’d workout anyhow & he missed our sushi nights. I told him I was grateful for his response & how I thought it might’ve worked cuz we made a great team. I’m a good loyal person & never cheated he was always so insecure I mean what can I do ? Is he her fallback guy is she or he a rebound ? I love him so deeply due to the connection we had & I’m lost & torn w/how to feel. Is there even the slightest chance to try & win him back ?

admin

July 17, 2013 at 7:16 am

Hmm… honestly, I think he is lying. I think something did happen between them. I am not saying that to upset you I am saying that because I don’t want you to be naive with how you move forward. He may be telling the truth but it’s a little sketchy.

Anyways, the best thing to do is go NC immediately. Thats just my two cents.

Allie

July 16, 2013 at 6:23 am

Loving your website…just sucks that it has to exist at all! So…do guys get “snakes in their head” after a breakup? 😉 I started Dating my ex-boyfriend soon after he got out of a 14 year marriage. The ex-wife was the only other woman ever dated. It was a nasty divorce. They got married at 19 only because she got pregnant. When we first met, I apparently blew him off (I actually am not so good at picking up on men flirting with me). He’s smokin hot (sadly, his ego got bigger & bigger as we dated-Ever hear of men reverting back to their teenage years after a divorce?). This was also a long distance relationship. Anyway…it intrigued him that I’d blown him off & why I was single. Guess you could say I was the “ungettable” girl you describe. He said I was unlike any woman he’d met- I’m eight years his senior, had been focused on my career, traveling, and basically enjoying my life with or without a man. We both had an instant connection, and it was much more than physical. We were very happy and genuinely in love. His family and friends loved me, said I was the best thing that ever happened to him and they had never seen him happier. Several months into our relationship, we began talking about marriage. As I said, it was long distance so it would’ve involved one of us moving, and we weren’t in a big rush since he’d just been divorced (it was to be in early 2014). Well, 11 Months into our relationship, I found out I was pregnant. I’m ashamed to say I did not take the news very well, but after the shock wore off, my ex was thrilled about the news. He had children from the previous marriage & contentious relationship with his ex & didn’t get to see his kids much. We then just decided to move up the wedding date. Crap. I didn’t mean to get into such depth on here…I know you’re swamped. I’ll cut to the chase for now & will email other questions if that’s ok. So we had been on a SLOW breakup (details in email, but no cheating that I’m aware of) Since New Year’s. We had a short period of time and space at the beginning of the year, then I gave birth to our child. Things never really got back on track… Who are we had a big fight 1 November, and he felt like he lost the connection that he had with me, But says he has been trying to get it back (Apparently, just by sitting around and thinking about it) & wants to. We “officially” Broke up in April, but we continued to contact up until three weeks ago. He’s said I stay On his mind, he wants back what we had, he’s been out on dates and has absolutely no interest, no attraction, missed me, wanted to lay eyes on me, I stayed on his mind now more that we were broken up and when we were hanging on, and I stay on his mind the most when he’s really trying to “move on.” He sent flowers for Mother’s Day. He never even sent me flowers when we were dating! Says he knows I’m the one that got away but doesn’t know how to fix what was broken. Prior to us breaking up in April, He said that the previous few months, he could not get the wonder of single life out of his head because he never really been single. He was worried if he did that and dated others that he would ruin his chances and not get me back. It’s almost like he wanted to sow his wild oats yet expected me to wait for him to “finish”that part of his life. (My assessment, not his. He has very little rekationship experience & Sometimes seems like he is behaving more like a teenager dating than a grown man) We did not have a fight three weeks ago and he wanted me to stay in touch because he didn’t want to cut me out of his life. He felt like our son was our thread and our bond with each other and (I think) Hopes that in time the romantic connection will come back. The last time we spoke on the phone. He said that there’s still a lot between us and that the romantic connection was all that was missing right now and he doesn’t know how to fix it. He has said that he feels emotionally numb, and that he does not want to work hard enough at a relationship right now, and he’s not emotionally attached to anyone other than our son. Says he just wants “easy”. Not like slutty…like “no pressure or responsibility.” Yes…he’s got a child…he likes it for now that he’s not vulnerable to anyone right now so he can’t be hurt. We spent a few days together a month ago. He seemed almost awkward or nervous around me (hadn’t seen ea other in 4 mo). We finally had the very emotional face to face part of our breakup Dang…I’ll try to wrap this part up. So, There is a white trash freak show in his hometown that it’s been after him like a dog in heat for many months. She just divorced her husband last summer and seems has pretty much set her sights on my ex since then. He knows her family well and they worked together some. If I was the “ungettable” girl when we met, she is my polar opposite in every way. Basically, she would wipe his butt if he told her to and he knows that there is no challenge there. I know that he has gone out on dates with a few other girls, and now it seems that those two are seeing more of each other. She’s been posting crap about them on her Facebook page for a while, but he always deletes off of his page if she tags him, yet he’s started liking or commenting on some of her pics and posts. A mutual friend posted me and the picture of another guy friend on Facebook, but it could just be taken as a friendly photograph as well. I blocked him on Facebook so I would not be tempted to look at his page, but he could’ve heard about it through other mutual friends. Oh…& I’m three weeks into no contact. Aside from when he blindsided me at New Year’s that his feelings were changing, I have not been at all desperate or needy or clingy. Right now, I’m so pissed I don’t really want to contact him. The last time we spoke, it was a good en suite conversation. It seems like for the first time he had hope in our future and I didn’t. He said he would leave it up to me to contact him because he didn’t want to look like a stalker. I asked why he didn’t want to cut me out of his life, and he just replied “I just don’t.” Speaking of stalkers… So the dog in heat I referred to earlier has many of the same possessive, clingy, jealous traits as his ex-wife. His family and best friend even picked up on that based on her Facebook postings. He has said that she will do anything to be close to him, or she’s easy to work, but that’s not where his interest lies… Yet now he has gone out on dates with her. So as a chick, I have a hard time understanding this, but do guys ever hang out and go out on dates with girls that they have no intention of being in a relationship with just because she’s there and available? She just came out of a marriage, he came out of an intense relationship with me,(& Seems to have some kind of feelings left for me). She makes meals for him, buy clothes for him, have puffed up his ego nonstop, etc.…guess my question is… How long will it take for him to figure out she is a bunny boiling stalker? Even if she didn’t need a straitjacket, there is NO challenge there, & he’s admitted that. When will this implode? 3 weeks into NC, is he angry at me at this stage? (four days after we got back from our visit, he called on Wednesday, left a voicemail Saturday and a text Saturday before responded to him on Sunday. He reminded me that I had said long-ago he would lose sleep over not hearing from me one day & that up til the previous week, I would’ve responded within a day or so. Also asked if I hated him). Should I be encouraged that he has said he is emotionally numb and does not want to be vulnerable… So he wouldn’t be with the dog in heat? I am beyond ready for that dog to have her day!!

admin

July 17, 2013 at 7:13 am

I don’t know why Allie, but I really like you. Like seriously, I am sure if you and I met in another lifetime we would be best friends.

I was literally laughing when you were just laying into this new girl (and hes not even officially dating her unless I missed something.)

I love it when people actually read my site. And the fact that you mentioned the “ungettable girl” makes me like you even more. So, here are my thoughts on the situation with this new chick. Now, I am going to be brutally honest here with you and probably a tad inappropriate but what the heck.

All guys rate women on a scale of 1 to 10. EVERY SINGLE ONE I don’t care how nice of a guy he is that is just the truth.

So, I find it completely unattractive if a 1-8 is super clingy, etc, etc (like the girl you describe above.)

However,

If the girl is a 9 or a 10 then I flat out don’t care. Thats completely shallow but this is how guys think. I think honestly that your ex won’t start a relationship with this girl (and if they do it won’t last) because she is psycho like you say. However, if she is high up there looks wise. He may do the “deed” and feel good about himself but I would be shocked if a long lasting relationship comes from it.
Allie

July 18, 2013 at 7:50 am

We’d totally be besties!! You’re very helpful, detailed oriented, and a smart butt, & will speak the truth even if it sucks. You like me because I use periods and other punctuation in my postings & use actual words & not grade school slang. Bless your heart…hey-can you explain the cartoon about how the guy got his girlfriend with bite wounds? I didn’t get it.

So, I wasn’t offended & sorta understand the rationale. Unless he has developed a physical attraction for her since she came around, I’m not sure how he’d rate her. She’s a skinny redhead with a long, horsey face, crooked eyes, freckledy redhead all over & seems to have gotten a *&^% job (I know he can’t stand that-says its fun to look at but didnt want to feel hard, fake *&^%s when he’s with a woman & wonders what else was fake about her-all that in opinion before she came along). Anyway, he said last fall she didnt have a pretty face up close (UNderstatement) & may has well have had a (*&^ for as little attraction as he felt, but she did have a happy, fun personality to help sell his products-she volunteered herself to be a “spokesmodel” to sell his hunting supplies. He believes chicks sell stuff more than guys. His friends & family don’t think she’s at all cute (call her a fence post with a wig, pippy long stocking, other guys wondered to each other if he couldn’t get someone better looking. He thought he could twist my arm for that silly job. I have more class in my pinky than she does in her whole body & an actual career where my professional reputation matters, as does my self respect. Anyway, guess I COULD be wrong about her being a stalker, but evidence seems to support it. She has kids but my ex is all over her FB page & if any mention is made ANYWHERE else on FB, she’ll comment. She made herself best friends with some chicks from Alabama (they’re in Ark) she met thru him on FB. Most of her FB people are ones she friends if he does, etc. she’s taken up his hobbies, set up a display in their bait shop (yep, bait shop) to sell his products, calls herself by his last name, etc. he’s let her get away with all of it & she’ll take any little crumb he tosses at her. He’s just recently begun engaging in her FB posts regarding him. Like I said, he knows she’ll do anything to be close to him & associate with him, knows to a certain degree she’s a stalker, attention is flattering, he’ll take the “benefit” from entertaining her but is looking for something else. He’s gotten access to prime family hunting land & a lot of free promotional materials for the company bc of her. I’d like to tell him he sounds like a high priced call girl!!! Ugh. She & I are total opposites (although I’m also a redhead)-she behaves like she crawled out of Honey Boo Boos TV show. Filthy language, crude humor, threatens to “whoop” people that get in her way, allows pics of her butt (clothed or bikini) to get posted & likes the crude comments. Guess you could say she’s a fame whore & SHE believes she’s an 11 on a 10 scale!! She has an obnoxious confidence based on external stuff. My confidence comes from other traits. Although my ex was mesmerized by me when he first saw me & pursued me. She’s been the one pursuing him all along. I think he just hasn’t discouraged it so he gets his free crap & a big ol ego boost. We live 750 mi apart, so I can’t be with him daily to ease his loneliness & to love on him & encourage and boost him as I would’ve liked. Maybe she’s filling that void for him (yuck) bc there’s no work involved on his end? He did say he just wanted something easy, someone to take care of him but hes not attached emotionally to any of them (other chicks chasing him, too). Outside of me, he wouldn’t Care if they were hit by a bus because he has no emotional attraction to them (said he wouldn’t give a shit if they were hit by a bus). Three weeks ago he told me that he has not had the feeling of love when he touched another woman or was around another woman either before or after me. She’s been a “known quantity” for almost a year now.
if he were to develop actual feelings for her, wouldn’t he have done that sooner?
If he wasn’t initially attracted to her, would kissing his butt & chasing him make him attracted to her?
Is she a bandaid for the loneliness? It sucks, but a little part wishes he would go out with Her a few times, the bunny boiler would come out & she’d be exposed & he’d run far, far away. Weird thing is she’s posted koo koo crazy stuff on FB if think was stalking or even harassing, but she’s still around (Although some of those posts get taken down). This week I’ve decided I can’t hear about any more of those posts. It only makes me more upset. I kind of think he believes that he is in control of that situation and he can use her for her family ties, when in reality she’s the one that is manipulated him from very early on. She knows he likes that ego stroking and provides it nonstop. Hoping that’s all she strokes…ugh. I’ve wondered if he is just not feeling the emotional fallout from the divorce, and likes the constant ego boost to make himself feel better afterwards. He hasn’t seen his kids and almost a year, we are up in the air on custody for our son, and his dad shocked the family when he has said he visited a divorce lawyer himself.

Perhaps she is like a bottle of whiskey that helps numb the pain for
him? His ego has got to be like his own drug. I think he has forgotten that there is more to him than his looks, but skank feeds that ego monster. He just seemed to have turned into a more hard hearted guy after the kids got taken, I got pregnant, his business took off & he got TONS of attention, horse face started chasing him, now his parents are having marital problems…

do you think he puts up this arrogant, egotistical weenie front because he’s hurting & is trying to keep From being vulnerable or feeling any attachment anyone so he doesn’t get hurt? He has really started behaving like an irresponsible 15 year old “jock”. That is not the man I met and fell in love with, and every now and then I’ll see little glimmers of the man that I knew.

Do men act the opposite of how they feel? Push away a woman they care about because they are scared to death to actually get what they always wanted?

Dang…wrote another novella. Sorry pal!! We’ll have to get together for a “pretend” lunch! Haha! Thanks for all your work!! Toodles poodles
admin

July 19, 2013 at 2:19 am

Tell you what, just email me.
Allie

July 23, 2013 at 5:25 pm

Will do. BTW-I found out that my ex’s best friend called her “Swimfan” in a FB comment thread. She replied back & asked what he meant by that. He told her (& everyone else in the thread) to look it up on Netflix. Even his best guy friend thinks she’s a psycho stalker! WTH?
admin

July 24, 2013 at 4:14 am

Thats great news for you!
Allie

July 18, 2013 at 2:39 pm

Dang. I should’ve proofread that. Sorry…it was like 3 am. I wish I could shut off my mind!! In addition to addressing the above questions, may I run his “mixed messages” through your dude brain for evaluation? It’s very helpful to have your take on his thought process… I know you’re swamped with comments all over the site & I don’t want to abuse your time & advice. If so, would smaller chunks of info in bullet points help? (You seem very organized & to the point…& I can “list” stuff in the interest of time even though I keep getting wordier in these threads!!) would emailing be easier for you? I’m not sure if they are officially dating. She gives the impression they are pretty much engaged or living together (texted that to some other chicks in another state that were working a show for him. His best friend said he really looked surprised & told the girls he’d gone out with her a few times & was crazy & ignore her. That was a couple months ago & I know he’s since gone to her friend’s lake house for a weekend, he’s taken her fishing (as we would do when I was out there), they work out together, etc. BUT…I know he’s gone out with other girls, he met up with me & our son for a few days a month ago, he tells me very intimate things (& is sometimes brutally honest about his feelings & what he’s been doing). We did sleep together. Don’t drop you jaw. :). The last time we had seen each other, I had just had a Csection. We’re too far apart & I wouldn’t do FWB. I initiated it…we broke up in April over the phone, so I guess one could view it as breakup sex. There was part of me hoping it would draw us together emotionally. Sorry! It doesn’t seem like I’ve written that much!!! I don’t want to take advantage. So…is emailing better for you? I can list info & a few questions at a time.

Is it possible I still have what’s left of his heart no matter who he tries to fill his time with?

Have a great day!
Allie

July 17, 2013 at 12:24 am

Btw-he said when he saw me in person & in pics that I look better than ever & still catch his eye. I’m 20 lb lighter than when I learned I was preg.
admin

July 17, 2013 at 6:49 am

Allie, AWESOME just AWESOME. It always makes my day hearing stuff like this.
Allie

July 18, 2013 at 6:29 am

You’re sweet! I wish I could say it was because I was hitting the gym, but honestly it’s a combination of being too busy to cook like I used to since I’ve been abandoned by the baby daddy, stress & “happy” pills that have appetite suppression as a side effect! Hey…I’ll take it where I can get it! ;). And yes-I need to tone up since I lost baby weight plus 20 lb in less than 5 mo. Funny you discuss physical improvements…as I was “preparing” to see him last month, my girlfriend said I needed to be like Sandy in “Grease” when she goes from being the sweet girl to the chick in Spandex at the carnival to sweep Danny off his feet. That movie is on right now!! Sadly, I didn’t have the same effect as Sandy did. 🙁 I looked the best I could (& he told me I looked great) but there was still a lot of tension, awkwardness & hurt feelings on both sides. The Indians would’ve shot him for all the mixed signals he was sending! Grrrr.
admin

July 19, 2013 at 1:48 am

Grease is awesome and Sandy is HOT! And if I think she is hot then other guys will too!

LAVENDER

July 16, 2013 at 3:56 am

i just broke up with my ex boyfriend a month ago, iam the one who dump him coz i get bored after 3 years. 2 weeks after that, he got a new girlfriend. later, i just realize his kindness and everything, but unlucky me iam too late to realize. i ask him to comeback to me and apologize because i dump him, but he says he can’t coz he has a new commitment rite now, with a new girl that i heard crazy about him alot. he still care about me, but he says we cant be a couple again, coz he has a new gf. just please.. please.. 3 years is too long, i really want him back. help me..

admin

July 17, 2013 at 6:41 am

Sounds like he is in a rebound relationship. I can’t promise you that but that’s what it looks like to me.

Go NC on him and let time heal old wounds.
LAVENDER

July 18, 2013 at 2:23 am

iam in the middle of No Contact him now, it’s been a week now, ..so wht am i suppose to do after a month no contact him? i mean.. everything gonna be easier if he’s single, but he has a new one rite now. and he is a really nice guy who can’t break someone else’s heart.
admin

July 19, 2013 at 1:39 am

Well, you can contact him after a month and try to get back on good terms with him.
LAVENDER

July 20, 2013 at 11:37 am

so wht do u think? is text your ex back content can help me to get my ex back when he has a new girlfriend rite now?… i just can’t wait see the whole content… but i can’t.. every part of the module takes at least 2 days to open.. the e book says it is for a good way..in order makes the reader follow the every step and not jump.. do think the content can help me in my situation?
admin

July 21, 2013 at 10:14 pm

I think the content can help everyone because it is a unique look at male human psychology. Honestly though, I am working on something that is going to blow text your ex back away (and you will not have to wait two days for it to open up.)
LAVENDER

July 19, 2013 at 3:57 pm

i just bought the ebook “Text you ex back” today. don’t know the full content yet, coz the material can be open during some days, step by step, of course u know it rite?.. i just hope there is a content about my case in there.. coz my case little bit different.. i mean it’s quite difficult to make my ex boyfriend back when he has a new one already,, eventhough iam the one who dump him.
admin

July 19, 2013 at 5:53 pm

Very cool! I am actually in the process of writing my own E-Book for this site Lavender. It may take a while but I plan to make it even more comprehensive than TXB.
LAVENDER

July 19, 2013 at 4:42 am

how about his new girlfriend christ?! by the way.. the one thing that i curious, when iam doing the no cantact rule, no call, no text..but i still check and stalking his twitter and his facebook., is that allow?
admin

July 19, 2013 at 6:29 am

It’s allowed but it’s not recommended cause it will make you go crazy hahaha.

priah

July 15, 2013 at 1:13 pm

PLEASE HELP
HI I HAD A RELATIONSHIP OF 2 AND HALF YEAR ,MY BOYFRIEND LOVED ME ALOT BUT WE REALLY HAD MAJOR FIGHTS,BUT WE NEVER CHEATED,ITS BEEN 3 MONTHS SINCE THE BREAK UP AND NOW HE IS DATING ANOTHER GIRL. I HAVE HEARD HE STILL CARES FOR ME BUT HIS GF HAS ORDERED HIM NOT TO KEEP ANY CONTACTS WITH ME NO MESSAGES NO PHONE CALLS.NOW WE DON’T EVEN EXCHANGE SMILES WHEN WE SEE EACH OTHER.

admin

July 15, 2013 at 11:36 pm

WOW, YOU REALLY NEED URGENT HELP BECAUSE YOU ARE WRITING TO ME IN ALL CAPS. I THINK I WILL DO THE SAME THING.

SOUNDS LIKE RIGHT NOW ALL YOU CAN DO IS WAIT IT OUT AND LET THIS NEW GIRL DIG HER OWN GRAVE.
priah

July 16, 2013 at 5:33 am

Hi
Thank you ! i was really scared & nervous , and yes i am waiting !the worst part is his family is very close to me, all his cousins love me.I tried talking to him like a month ago,but he was really rude,we even mentioned that i should move on.Its really hard for me to digest that he could ever say anything like that! i broke up with him , and then i realized how important he is to me, i even said sorry did everything that i should have done,our relation had too many ups and downs and i have always forgave him!I feel its like a revenge (my assumption). This girl is his family friend, she always liked him since we were dating and he knew this fact.The way he is behaving is really hurting:( ,we were so much in love!3 months and he loves someone else?that also 2 months we were in good talking terms calls text just this started from the very 1st of June.i dont know what to do ? thank you so much !!
admin

July 17, 2013 at 7:01 am

It’s not a popular answer but the best course of action is to calm down and go into No Contact mode.

sarah

July 15, 2013 at 4:39 am

Also….before this happened he wanted to drop the past because he did some mean things and I did drop it.so today after he tells me about these women he starts listing everything I ever did wrong from day one. Almost like he was justifying to himself and I the crazy quick change of heart.I wanted to work it out because I love him deeply and we have a baby together. But the ultimatum I gave him was to prove to me that my son and I would come first and he let me down again. What should I do? What are your thoughts on the quick change of heart and all the other women?

admin

July 15, 2013 at 11:29 pm

Sarah, you signed the death warrant on your relationship the minute you gave him an ultimatum. THEY NEVER WORK and only hurt the relationship.

You have a kid together so that will always connect you no matter what. If I was you I would go no contact for a while. Let him work out whatever this new girl thing is. Try to focus on yourself and figuring out why you had all these fights. Was it because of him losing HIS temper or you losing yours?

sarah

July 15, 2013 at 4:28 am

So my ex and I were together for fouryears. It was an on and off relationship….more so on. When we would break up it was always stupid when we were together and broken up as far as I know he never messed with anyone in between and neither did I. We got back together then two weeks later I found out I was pregnant we stayed together the whole time and whenmy baby was 6 weeks old we got in a very dumb fight over. warminga bottle.he got so mad he left and went to his mother’s. Not the first time he did that butsince I had been prego yes. So I called him said now that we have a baby if you don’t come back tonight I’m done. He wanted a break…since I said that he moved I with his friend the next day. He would come over and visit my son one day a week. He managed to convince me to get back so we did. Well since he had left and moved with this dude so fast I couldn’t get it out of my head that he did that to me and his new baby. So I broke up with him when I had a rush of emotion one day.my son was4months old. We did the whole court deal. He did a lot of nasty things I dropped for my son.he tried getting back with me one month after we were speaking again. I wasn’t sure but had sex with him like a dummy. Then I agreed to work on things. We got I agreed a small disagreement and he just left my house so again I told him I can’t deal with it it’s done. He tried to come back but after he was already home. I don’t think he should have left at all. So the other daythings happened and he said he thought it was true love. We had issues with him choosing friends over me before and I didn’t care if he hung with them just not all the time. So the day he said that I said if I told you I wanted to work on things would you ditch your friends for me. He said yes I planned a lot to fix the issues he had with me and I had with him. Well he didn’t ditch them for me. Of course I got crazy mad and told him if he didn’t that was it I wouldn’t normally ask but it’s something I really need from him to get over a few things and move forward. So the next day he txt me real nice. We got into conversation and he told me he had a date that day two more this week and is meeting a girl from high. School he feels is the one what got away….I didn’t get mean stayed very nice and wished him luck but it broke my heart.I have no idea what to do. The day before he tells me one thing and the next day I’m yesterday’s trash if this helps…I’m 27 and he is 36. I need advice so bad at the moment I don’t know what to do. Sorry so long….sidnt know howto make it shorter.
debra

July 14, 2013 at 6:46 am

me and my ex were together for a long time, and he loved me more than anything else and did everything for me. But his best friends were jealous and corrupted his mind, and set him up slowly with another chick while I was outta town. Then, they created fights amongst us and got the other chick to “comfort” him. After that he started generating feelings for her and eventually called me saying that his feelings for me ” decreased” and he wanted a break up. He didn’t say anything about the other girl. Later his friends corrupted my mind telling me how he cheated on me and what a jerk he was, we had agreed on being friends but after hearing this I didn’t even want that. Much later I found out he never cheated but he just started dating her after his best friend tried to ask me out.
and I want him back now. we had serious fights and he thinks I’m an immature bitch.

admin

July 15, 2013 at 7:35 pm

Well, your ex needs time. Time to get on an even plane with you again, and time to figure out if this new relationship is what he really wants.

« Previous 1 … 62 63 64 65 66 67 Next »

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

3,819 thoughts on “Has He Moved On? How To Get Him Back If He Has A Girlfriend”