How To Get Your Ex Back When He's Moved On To A New Girl

3,819 thoughts on “Has He Moved On? How To Get Him Back If He Has A Girlfriend”

Ayu

April 8, 2017 at 8:56 am

Hello is there a chance to get my ex boyfriend back when he has a girlfriend

On 6/4/17 it was my birthday and my ex greeted me through texts (I did the NC for 20 days before my birthday) We texts each other like forever because I miss him but not showing my emotions.We texts each other for 2 days.Last night I told him to texts me again tomorrow because he was tired from work so I let him rest.Then this morning he stopped texting me and suddenly I saw his Whatsapp status his name with other girl’s name & and I Know her. I was really sad until I texts him and asking him the truth who’s he’s hiding but he didn’t reply until now.

Before and after the break up he told me before that he was tired to fall in love with someone else and he wants me to study first so i accept it and wait for me to return.But why can’t he just tell me the truth about her instead of lying to me

What should I do? I still love him and is there a chance to fix this after make a mistake?

EBR Team Member: Amor

April 10, 2017 at 3:37 pm

hi ayu,
do you want to try the advice above?

Kristine

April 3, 2017 at 4:02 am

My situation has gotten sticky.
My ex has rebounded. This I know for sure, not only because the relationship began as revenge as he thought I had moved on to somebody new. But also because of his words and actions.
There was a point where he was angry with me for no reason whatsoever other than being hurt about how we ended. We went no contact for three weeks and he contacted me. We became friends but it ended with hurt feelings. After that he would continue to keep an eye on me and found out about someone he thought I was with, and proceeded to jump into a relationship.
All of his family and friends were shocked. Nobody had expected us to end or for him to find someone new. His cousin and I are still best friends and she tells me how they always pick on him for leaving me because I was “the one that got away” and he himself even says he doesn’t know if he likes the girl. But he’s with her. I lost hope… until I was forced to talk to him again about some health issue we needed to resolve. I gave him the info. He was rude and inconsiderate. So I proceeded to tell him I would figure everything out and we had no further need to communicate because I didn’t want this for me anymore. He never replied… until a few days later when I never got back to him he called me. Asked me to meet him in person but wouldn’t say why. I asked him if he absolutely needed me, he said yes. So I went.
We talked about the issue but he kept bringing up our relationship issues… he kept wanting to know why things had happened. I tried to avoid discussing it but he would always come back to it. We got to the point where he said he didn’t respond because he felt bad, and I would talk about the past.. (ironically this is what he was doing ha) and got to the point where he asked if I really thought he just forgot about a whole year together, and proceeded to say “I wasn’t over it, I’m still not over you..” and then mentioned that he had to get over me though because he couldn’t go back as he has already caused this girl to develop feelings. So he’s still with her and going along with it…
I know he misses me. Because I close the conversation and he finds a reason to reopen it.
I just know that he belongs with me, he knows it, but she’s in the way…
Should I let it play itself out? Or what moves do I make?

EBR Team Member: Amor

April 4, 2017 at 2:25 pm

you can still use the advice above.. what you need to do is to make your presence feel but not give the benefits and to keep having your own life.. when you talk, have fun but when you have fun on your own, really have fun and don’t answer him that day or at least do but do it at the end of the day.

Aurora

April 1, 2017 at 2:16 am

It’s almost been a year since my boyfriend of two years broke up. I broke up with him. I was going through a bad episode of depression and broke up with him to both save him and get rid of him as he hated dealing with it. I didn’t contact him for months, but rang him drunk recently. He says his new girlfriend is his “soulmate” and that they plan to move in together in three years! They’ve been together since October 2016. I miss him all the time and I still dream of him. My new boyfriend is better in every regards except for the bedroom (sadly). I need help.

EBR Team Member: Amor

April 2, 2017 at 3:34 pm

Hi Aurora,

If you dont love your current, break up with him..It’s better to be single than be with someone you dont love.. if you want to get your ex back.. rebuild rapport slowly but improve yourself first

M

March 30, 2017 at 8:41 am

Me and my ex work in the same office. We are in marriagable age. We were in a relationship for 3 years. After that he broke up with me in 2015 end, saying that his parents are not ready to accept me. I was devastated first as I loved him so much. Then I did NC, while he was busy searching suitable girl for marriage. In mid 2016, he came to me saying he made a mistake by leaving me and would try again with his parents. By that time I was already moving on (even though I was not in a relationship with any one) but as he was all begging n crying, I forgave him. Everything was going good till last month. But now he has again become distant. I asked him what is the reason behind all these. He said his parents have chosen a girl for him and he is helpless. I can also see that girl commenting /liking his post on social media and can guess that they are in a engagement kind of thing. Now what should I do? I am literally shattered again. My major problem is I have to see him every day and it kills me. Can’t even change the job as its a very good one. Please suggest me something.

EBR Team Member: Amor

March 30, 2017 at 7:15 pm

Hi M,

if you can ask to be moved to a different time or department. Because if you really cant live, and he marries that girl, what would be your next plan?

Jill

March 28, 2017 at 3:21 am

My boyfriend and I worked together for a year and a half. In the middle, we realized we really liked each other. I wasn’t ready for a relationship but we started hanging out and one thing led to another. He wanted to move faster physically than I was ready for. I needed more trust and emotional intimacy and I pushed back by oversharing and trying to create a safe place for him to open up but also came up with potential deal breakers because it was too much for me. He started growing distant and we broke up. We had some lovely times together but there was so many outside stressors, including that we worked together which at the time He said was most of the problem. He was the supervisor and was worried about getting caught.
I really cared about him and because we saw each other every day, my feelings intensified and I missed him and saw what I did wrong. I asked him to talk and after saying yes and canceling 3 times, a month after we broke up, we met and I apologized. I told him I was in love with him but didn’t ask for a second chance. He thanked me and we parted. Later that week my gut told me something was off and I found out he was dating someone new.
I was totally broken. We got into a mini argument at work which we worked out.
They stopped and some bad stuff happened in his life and I tried to be as respectful and supportive as I could. Our texting turned to sexting – he initiated – 4 months later. He set up time and plans for us to meet but kept canceling “something came up” .. Finally I initiated. He wanted to make sure I knew we weren’t in a relationship and I said OK as long as we were going that way. It was not great.. he showed no intimacy and no affection and was even critical like trying to damper any emotions. He wanted me to leave right after and the only indication he gave for the future was “we’re not there yet” and “we’ll see”… At this point I knew I couldn’t be in that limbo… If he had been kind and respectful and appreciative, sure even with the “we’ll see”… Ultimately I couldn’t handle it and told him how I felt. He said sorry I can’t return your feelings. He wanted to keep things good between us. Within a few weeks he was deep into another relationship with someone completely the opposite of me… I quit and left…we were friendly at work superficially before. We didn’t actually say goodbye either. Anyway.. We worked together for a long time. We had a significant emotional connection. I guess I’m wondering if I was just a placeholder or if I mattered to him on a deeper level that he wasn’t ready to admit. Thanks for “listening”

Jill

March 29, 2017 at 1:53 am

Hi – I don’t know what you mean by “actually moving on”.. I quit because it was too painful and I want to be respectful but I’m wondering psychologically if going from seeing each other every day and that being a major factor in or break up to no contact could show him how he really feels about me. On any case, there is nothing else I can do.. I guess I’m just hoping there’s… Hope.. Thanks
EBR Team Member: Amor

March 29, 2017 at 2:04 pm

I mean are you stopping trying to get him back? As in moving on life. Yes, if he’s used to seeing you everyday and then you went into no contact, it can help raise the chances of making him think..
EBR Team Member: Amor

March 28, 2017 at 6:05 pm

Hi Jill,

so you’re actually moving on? That’s hard to answer because you know him better but if he was really serious with you, he would have showed it.

Sonia

March 22, 2017 at 7:49 pm

My ex boyfriend cheated on me and is now in a relationship with her after knowing her for 5-6 months. is this a rebound relationship and do I have a chance at getting him back?

Sonia

March 22, 2017 at 7:57 pm

Also forgot to mention he moved stuff into her house after knowing her for 3 months.
EBR Team Member: Amor

March 22, 2017 at 8:11 pm

Hi,

dont rush at trying to get him back.. it will not take just a week to get him back..that’s why you need to implement the being there method and to keep improving yourself for him to think you’re the better choice but at the same time not be too available for him to think he will lose you if he doesn’t man up

Genavive

March 18, 2017 at 9:31 pm

Hello,I recently broke up with my boyfriend mid to late February.We starting seeing each other in late December our Xmas and later became official our relationship didn’t last very long but was very meaningful for the both of us.We had no problems at all within in our relationship and we got along together very well.The reason why we broke up is because he had been in love with someone that has been a friend to him for almost 10 years but never had he courage to tell them that he loved her.Now the two of them are together ,they got together not long at ALL after we broke up.After my ex and I broke up I was speaking to him on and off but it started to become regular and we would talk on the phone at it felt like old times for the both of us.I made a really huge mistake by texting him I miss him and I wanted us to meet up he but he felt uncomfortable about the idea as he said he didn’t want to risk his new relationship also his new partner saw the message and obviously got annoyed and said what she had to say about how I should leave him alone and find somebody else. So his new partner and I had a little argument via text,the day after I messaged my ex apologising for what I said but he was annoyed with me and said we shouldn’t talk any more. I know it’s very early but I’ve been trying to move on but I’m finding it difficult because now I ruined my chance of getting him back when I know I shouldn’t of messaged him in the first place.

Ps sorry for the really long message

EBR Team Member: Amor

March 23, 2017 at 8:48 pm

Hi Genavive,

you were the rebound..check this one:
EBR 034: Are YOU The Rebound For Your Ex Boyfriend?

Brittany

March 18, 2017 at 8:18 am

I also forgot to mention in my comment. This is the first girl to ever meet his parents other then me… they go away together st the same school. But when they aren’t at school they love 5.5 hours apart.. so what do you think?

EBR Team Member: Amor

March 22, 2017 at 2:29 pm

Hi Brittany,

if he said he missed you while with her, shes5 probably a rebound.. you can still try nc and do at least 30 days..

Brittany

March 18, 2017 at 8:10 am

I dated this kid since we were 15 to 20. He kept breaking up with me and then wanting me back. I finally tried my best to move on and dated someone else. While dating this other person my ex had me blocked on everything. Then one day I confronted him cause I found out he made out with another girl while dating me. That’s when he started writing me letters, sending me flowers and buying me my favorite candy and sorry cards. I told him I was scared to be with him because he kept hurting me so I refused to see him while he was home on break for school for a month. When he went back to school he started to change towards me and I started to regret not seeing him. And told him that maybe we could work this out. Then he pulled the “now that I’m back at school you want me again.” But I guess because he found a new girl. I don’t mean to sound rude. But she’s heavy and just doesn’t seem like his type. He blocked me on everything and posted a snap of her which was a picture of his gf and his mom… so since she met his parents and they been dating for a month does this mean they are serious and I have no chance? Not to mention he messaged me 2 weeks ago that he missed me and had a dream about me. WHILE dating this girl… then he blocks me off everything and finally decides to post something of her? Help cause I’m confused. What do you think it is?
angel

March 15, 2017 at 8:47 am

hello!!
i was in a relationship for 3.5 years with my ex bf bt currently he suddenly sent me a msg that he has left me i was super shocked bcoz he didnt discuss anything abt any problm i used to thought we were happy bcoz he didn’t complaint abt anything than i asked him to proove me that he is in relationhe sent me their chat screenshot i still didnt believe than he made a call to me n his new gf told me that i am his gf now i hope u believe i believed bt than he asked me to remain frnd i was like ok ok bt than i called him to meet me he agreed i asked abt how they went n relation after listening everything i lost my temper n i hitted him very badly (my biggest mistake m so guilty abt it coz i nvr thought i would do this ) while he is very agressive bt still he didnt say a single word only that sorry n he told me that i m responsible for this brkup i was so hurt i cried alot he continually looked at me than i said i will block u n i came out of car bt he followed me for a while than said why r u going like this he was sweating so much i said nothing bt only that i cant believe it n after coming home i blocked himbt i could nt control my anger n here i did wht i should nt i msged his new gf unblocked him n msged him he got angry that cant u give us peace n all bt i want him backcoz i love him so much is there any chance?

EBR Team Member: Amor

March 16, 2017 at 1:56 pm

Hi Angel,

did he cheat on you? If he did, shouldn’ he be the one worried and guilty? Right now, are you going to do the no contact rule?

Kay

March 13, 2017 at 2:29 am

my ex and I dated for almost 10 months. he broke up with me a couple weeks ago saying he’s stressed with “work and school and other activities” and doesn’t want to worry about me. he said he still loves me and cares about me but can’t do a relationship because he’s stressed. I went to a party and he showed up 10 minutes after I got there and I was talking to a guy friend and he got jealous. we had a long conversation the next day in person about why he is so jealous if he doesn’t want to be with me? so he told me we should just be on a “break” because neither of us wanted to talk to other people. then about 5 days later he texts me and says he doesn’t want a break anymore because he doesn’t like that I’m confident in myself, and he thinks it’s arrogance. now I feel like it’s just an excuse and can’t figure out the real reason! he talks to many girls and then tells me they all have boyfriends when I don’t ask. and I think he has a crush on a new girl (but I’m pretty sure she doesn’t feel the same). I try my absolutely best to initiate the NCR but he finds a reason to message me EVERYDAY, and if I leave him alone and he messages me about dumb situations and I try to tell him the actual truth, he flips out on me and tells me to leave him alone when I have been. I’m so dang confused. PLEASE HELP!

EBR Team Member: Amor

March 15, 2017 at 10:51 am

Hi Kay

the only solution is to just stick to nc..dont reply unless it’s an emergency

Elle

March 11, 2017 at 8:04 pm

I dated my ex for about two years but then broke up with him due to being in different stages of your lives, as well as being in different states. We both needed to grow on our own. 6 months after breaking up we met a few times for coffee and had a really great time. A few months later he called me when I cam back to our hometown but did not realize he had called until I left again. Now a year after that call and 1.5 years after breaking up I still want him back but found out he has a new girlfriend. I am so torn about what to do. I don’t want to ruin his new relationship but also can’t stand the thought of just sitting and waiting. I’m unsure if I truly want him back or the comfort and familiarity of being with him. I am just at a loss for how I should feel and what to do.

EBR Team Member: Amor

March 14, 2017 at 5:58 pm

Hi Elle,

you have to decide first. If you really want him back, the truth is you are going against his current relationship..We can’t sugarcoat that.. That’s just the truth.. If you proceed follow the advice on this one:
Getting Him Back After A Year (Or More) Apart

Aki

March 7, 2017 at 9:31 pm

Hi. Ive been with my ex for almost 3years. I found out that he’s cheating on me.. He denied it and wants to work on our relationship, but he’s still lying to me and seeing this girl still and making stories to her that we’re done for a long time..
He still makes me believe that he cant allow himself to lose me and i was the girl he wants to marry..
I made a converstion for the three of us in messenger, and he denied that he loves me and chose the new girl.. And now he stop texting me, but hiding their relatiinship on fb with me.
Do i still need to chase him back? Or should i give up?
Pkease enlighten me

EBR Team Member: Amor

March 10, 2017 at 12:32 pm

Hi Aki,

dont chase.. that’s devaluing yourself.. Check this one:
He Cheated On You And You Want Him Back… What Do You Do?

Lucy

March 6, 2017 at 8:17 am

Do I have any chance of getting him back?

I dated this guy for a year but we broke up because of me being unsure and scared of us getting caught ( my parents don’t allow me to date and would punish me severely if I was to be caught) but we didn’t stop talking ever we didn’t go out again officially but we were still sort of together and then I developed feelings for his friend who I wanted to like me back but honestly thinking about that I only wanted that for validation purposes and didn’t actually want to be with him my ex got really sad but never really told me about anything he still looked happy and we kissed and everything like that in secret but then he cheated on me with a girl he hasn’t met but only talks to on Skype he says he loves me but not like that and he wants to date her but they’re young and have no means of closing the distance for at least a few years so is it really worth it. I love him it took too long to realise it and he wants me to be his best friend like I was but today I accidentally slapped him because he kept calling me his friend and I got frustrated I don’t want friendship I want him back do I have a chance I’m willing to do anything for him I really care. I know I really hurt him told him he wasn’t good enough for me and all sorts but that was all in a haze of insecurity I still loved him then just didn’t realise it I took him for granted he loved me loads and in a way he still does but doesn’t know if he can come back to me because it hurt too much but still wants me in his life and doesn’t want me seeing other guys. What should I do? No contact?

EBR Team Member: Amor

March 9, 2017 at 4:21 pm

Hi Lucy,

First, does that mean you’re going to make it official with your parents if you ever get back together?

Clara

March 4, 2017 at 1:04 pm

I was in a long distance relationship for 1 year and a half at the beginning I was in a close city and we used to see each other very often ( at least once a month ) sometimes I spent weeks in his appartment. he introduced me to all his friends and colleagues and we had a great time then I had a great opportunity to go study in another continent for one year. He encouraged me to go but then weeks before flying there he wanted to break up we talked for a long time and decided to give it a try and make it work then he surprised me with a visit in my town the same week. I went to the new country and he also travelled to another country for a month, we were texting and skyping a lot we missed each other so much and our feeling were so strong so we booked an exotic trip together. I was so excited, and counting the days before we can see each other again but he suddenly became distant and we talked less and less especially with the jet lag and I could say that he kind of started regretting booking that trip as it was really far. the day came and we met in this country we spent a magical holiday. but as soon as he got back to his town he stopped calling me I was always initiating the call … I finished my degree and came back to my city and he again wanted to break up as I couldn’t find a job in his city and he couldn’t stand the long distance even if I am closer now but we again decided to make it work and we traveled together weeks after that we were really good until he came to visit me and said that we had a great time but that his feelings dropped as we don’t see each other a lot, he said that we may get back together someday if we were still single and in the same city but that for now he doesn’t want a virtual life and his feelings are not strong enough to make it work.
He left me devastated as since I came back I haven’t stopped looking for a job in his city, I loved him soo much, we had really good time whenever we met, he changed me and made me happier and more outgoing, he was a very nice guy and I always wanted to make him the happiest man on earth.
when he left I got a temporary job in my city while still looking for a job in his city , I kept talking to him casually as if nothing happened and as a friend for some months then I started the NC after 2 weeks he texted me asking for my news and asked me how my job search in his city is going, I still haven’t managed to get a job there as it’s very competitive then he said that he is sure I am going to be happy and find a good job … I then started to talk to him again more often as a friend asking him for advices etc and he always replied sometimes I just send him pics of something he likes and that reminded me of him … I wanted to visit his city and he said that he can offer me his couch whenever I wanted and that he can even leave me his apartment when he will travel this month. But then I got a lot of work and cancelled the visit, this week I he posted pics with a girl travelling with him I talked to him and he said that she is his girlfriend. I got crazy because I thought we can still be together and that he still had feelings so I went crazy texting him asking him if she was the reason he broke up and telling him that I still love him and that I am trying as hard as I can to get a job in his city … then he said that it’s not because of her but because he didn’t have feelings for me anymore but that what we had was true but felt more like holidays than a serious relationship and that he wanted to break up many times until he felt it wasn’t possible to continue like that. I asked if he was serious with her now he didn’t answer then I apologise and I told him I wish she can make him happy as I couldn’t. he just said no problem.
I feel so devastated and hopeless like we just really broke up and this time there is no chance of getting back together. I still want to get a job in his city not just to be with him but he was the main reason.
I am so confused, heartbroken and hopeless now I don’t know if I should just give up on him or chase him up.

EBR Team Member: Amor

March 4, 2017 at 8:05 pm

Hi,

It’s never ok to chase. And why is it that you’re the only one wanting to move? Can’t he move to yours? Right now, try a 45 day nc. Stick to it.. If at the end you still want to try, the follow the advice above.

Lucie

March 4, 2017 at 12:59 pm

I was in a long distance relationship for 1 year and a half at the beginning I was in a close city and we used to see each other very often ( at least once a month ) sometimes I spent weeks in his appartment. he introduced me to all his friends and colleagues and we had a great time then I had a great opportunity to go study in another continent for one year. He encouraged me to go but then weeks before flying there he wanted to break up we talked for a long time and decided to give it a try and make it work then he surprised me with a visit in my town the same week. I went to the new country and he also travelled to another country for a month, we were texting and skyping a lot we missed each other so much and our feeling were so strong so we booked an exotic trip together. I was so excited, and counting the days before we can see each other again but he suddenly became distant and we talked less and less especially with the jet lag and I could say that he kind of started regretting booking that trip as it was really far. the day came and we met in this country we spent a magical holiday. but as soon as he got back to his town he stopped calling me I was always initiating the call … I finished my degree and came back to my city and he again wanted to break up as I couldn’t find a job in his city and he couldn’t stand the long distance even if I am closer now but we again decided to make it work and we traveled together weeks after that we were really good until he came to visit me and said that we had a great time but that his feelings dropped as we don’t see each other a lot, he said that we may get back together someday if we were still single and in the same city but that for now he doesn’t want a virtual life and his feelings are not strong enough to make it work.
He left me devastated as since I came back I haven’t stopped looking for a job in his city, I loved him soo much, we had really good time whenever we met, he changed me and made me happier and more outgoing, he was a very nice guy and I always wanted to make him the happiest man on earth.
when he left I got a temporary job in my city while still looking for a job in his city , I kept talking to him casually as if nothing happened and as a friend for some months then I started the NC after 2 weeks he texted me asking for my news and asked me how my job search in his city is going, I still haven’t managed to get a job there as it’s very competitive then he said that he is sure I am going to be happy and find a good job … I then started to talk to him again more often as a friend asking him for advices etc and he always replied sometimes I just send him pics of something he likes and that reminded me of him … I wanted to visit his city and he said that he can offer me his couch whenever I wanted and that he can even leave me his apartment when he will travel this month. But then I got a lot of work and cancelled the visit, this week I he posted pics with a girl travelling with him I talked to him and he said that she is his girlfriend. I got crazy because I thought we can still be together and that he still had feelings so I went crazy texting him asking him if she was the reason he broke up and telling him that I still love him and that I am trying as hard as I can to get a job in his city … then he said that it’s not because of her but because he didn’t have feelings for me anymore but that what we had was true but felt more like holidays than a serious relationship and that he wanted to break up many times until he felt it wasn’t possible to continue like that. I asked if he was serious with her now he didn’t answer then I apologise and I told him I wish she can make him happy as I couldn’t. he just said no problem.
I feel so devastated and hopeless like we just really broke up and this time there is no chance of getting back together. I still want to get a job in his city not just to be with him but he was the main reason.
I am so confused, heartbroken and hopeless now I don’t know if I should just give up on him or chase him up.

EBR Team Member: Amor

March 4, 2017 at 8:05 pm

Hi,

It’s never ok to chase. And why is it that you’re the only one wanting to move? Can’t he move to yours? Right now, try a 45 day nc. Stick to it.. If at the end you still want to try, the follow the advice above.

Confused

February 28, 2017 at 7:38 pm

I have been dating a guy for 8 years and we recently broke up. This is not the first time we’ve broken up. There have been issues with his infidelity prior to us bonding exclusively (he didn’t feel the need to be exclusive several years ago), however he has worked really hard to gain back my trust. He is educated, with a doctorate in chiropractic care and a master’s degree in theological studies (he was a youth pastor at one time). We have a LOT in common, which is one of the reasons why we have always been best friends no matter how difficult the situation. He had a serious cardiac health condition last year and he rededicated his life in a lot of ways. He even cut intimacy with me because he felt it would be a sin to be intimate prior to marriage. This seemed to have caused us to grow apart some. In addition, I went back to school to get my nurse practitioner degree and my dad has been extremely ill, so being busy and stress has been a factor. He broke things off about 3 weeks ago, and told me he still loves me and that I am his best friend. HOWEVER, he immediately started emailing a lady from his church and took her to lunch. He went walking in the woods with her the other day and answered my phone call during their walk, which was awkward for me when I found out he was with her. I was at his house that night, and he fingered my new necklace and commented on it, and he told me, “NOBODY is as pretty as you!” He held me in a tight hug – 30 sec or so – several times, and lifted me up off the ground with a squeeze hug. He says he is interested in this other lady. I assume he will ask her out again. She is DEFINITELY aware that he is only a few weeks out from an 8 year relationship, and she doesn’t seem to mind at all. She has been divorced twice. (In the past, he has told me he would never marry someone who has been divorced twice…but he NOW states that she made mistakes and turned her life around going to church.) She says she hasn’t dated anyone for 6 years, since her last divorce, but I can’t understand why she would choose someone just getting out of a long-term relationship to be her first guy to date again. I feel like I’m getting so many mixed signals. He states he would possibly date me again, but that he would be “reluctant some.” He did this once before….dated the woman for 2 weeks…and came back to me when he realized he loved me. That was 2 years ago. I told him I thought we shouldn’t text or email for awhile (we email all day usually), and that I felt I should give him time to figure out his new interest. However, I think he will move on much more quickly if I am not in contact. I KNOW he will….because he is proud and he will be hurt. He does NOT want to break contact, I guess because we are best friends. We agreed that he would email Thursday (my idea to email only once a week), but I broke down and texted him last night. I texted of pic of my Dad and I after he got home from the hospital and told him, ‘I wanted to share this part of the journey with you. Dad got home safe today. Thanks for the prayers.” He replied, “Aww, good news, glad to hear.” I didn’t respond back. We have both put so much time and effort into this relationship. It’s difficult to let go of 8 years so quickly. I get along great with his 4 grown children, so that’s not a point of contention. Saturday night we also talked about our business future together. I have planned to share an office with him after I graduate with my FNP degree so I can see patients, and he said he saw no reason we couldn’t still do that. He said, “It’s business, right? 9am -5pm? I think that would be just fine.” Sorry so long….it’s hard to condense the situation into a small space!

EBR Team Member: Amor

February 28, 2017 at 9:43 pm

Hi Confused,

correct me if I’m wrong, you’ve been seeing for 8 years but you were never exclusive as boyfriend and girlfriend?

Shalmali

February 25, 2017 at 11:18 am

i initiated a proper no contact with my ex for 6 months except for a 3 minute conversation on his birthday. we started talking after new year and he has been super keen for us to be friends as he claimed he missed me. I was okay with it so i talk very normally to him, except sometimes it hurts me when he mentions about a girl or two but i never show. however deep down i still have feelings for him and its crushing me. He met this girl, who he claims just connects well with him but he is not seeking anything more than friendship with her and he keeps telling me, i’ll always be his special girl.
how do i claim my territory again all to myself?

Shalmali

February 27, 2017 at 10:07 am

Hi Ebor,
We text almost everyday and every weekend types there is a call. Just this weekend he said he “Miss you” and cut the call. We have met once in person, we had planned to meet but due to something important we couldn’t. I don’t want to talk to him directly about wanting him back, I might just lose this!
EBR Team Member: Amor

February 27, 2017 at 7:37 pm

at this point you just keep building rapport but don’t be too available. Go back to going out more often and being active in social media.
EBR Team Member: Amor

February 25, 2017 at 10:17 pm

Hi Shalmali,

how long have you been talking now and do you meet in person?

Shay

February 22, 2017 at 9:13 pm

I met my boyfriend back in 2014 and we also made it official the that year only problem was he was in prison so we were good talking everyday all lovey Dovey and we really started to like each other and developed a relationship of friends as well as lovers for two year occasionally I went to visit him and we always had a good time when we were together our bond was pretty strong I also talk to him everyday to express how our day was he really was there for me and I truly love him so now may 2016 comes and I go pick him up from prison.And we’re learning to live with each other and we kinda clashed sometimes never arguments but disagreements and after a couple months in November I broke with him it was mutual agreement we both said it would be best but now am missing him and wanting him back but he ignored and I did all the things u guys say not to do like texting and call crazily and saying mean things out of anger which probably pissed him off and recently I contacted him by asking him to something with me sexually and responded we met up couple times and had sex and the last time I saw he told that he roomatting with some girl he been having sex with but he told they weren’t in realationship but I found later they were. And am sure there not sleep in seperate rooms idk why would lie to me . So we were supposed to meet after the 3rd time of meeting for sex but he just stop contacting in block me from everything except Facebook and am scared I lost my chance with idk what to do and am a mess

EBR Team Member: Amor

February 23, 2017 at 12:50 am

Hi Shay,

don’t be sleep with him again, because you’re already his friend with benefits now.. Are you going to do the no contact rule?

Anna

February 21, 2017 at 4:00 pm

I was, well we jokingly called it “long distance friends with benefits” (although, we were in mutual consent there was so much more to it) with a guy I met on a trip abroad. After a bit more than a year and a half of visits and almost daily texts he decided the distance was too hard for him and that he’d coped with the fact we’d probably never be together and we stopped talking. It was really hard on me, but I could see his point so I moved on. Now, about 8 months later, I moved to the same city he lives in (for other reasons) and my feelings for him hasn’t changed a bit. We’ve been keeping some contact, but not a lot (perhaps a text a month) so when I got here we decided to catch up over a drink. It was pretty stale but still nice. When we parted I brought that up and asked him if anything was wrong. He then admitted he was “kind of seeing someone” but that he was really happy I’d moved here and that he’d love for us to remain friends. I was hurt, caught of guard but tried not to show him. Now it feels like I’ll never get a fair chance of actually being with him, and even though I knew this was something that I might have had to face, it still hurts a lot. I know that we are right for each other, we just never had the chance to find out properly. And now that we’re finally in the same city I feel like I have to find out. How can I win him back and forget about the girl he’s dating now? Being “just friends” with him would kill me, but I don’t want to lose him.

EBR Team Member: Amor

February 22, 2017 at 7:56 pm

HI Anna,

do you want to try the advice above?

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