He Says He Loves Me And I'm The One But Still Breaks Up With Me

107 thoughts on “He Says “I Love You, You’re The One” But Still Breaks Up With Me”

Lana

November 30, 2019 at 6:21 pm

I was with my boyfriend 19 months. We had a lot of attraction and fun together. He called me the love of his life. We both agreed these are the feelings ppl search their entire lives for. I felt insecure and at times and had a hard time opening up & trusting. My own issues, he did nothing wrong. He was hurt bad from his ex wife. We have 5 kids btwn the 2 of us, his really busy with sports. 2 full time jobs. He had to go away on work sometimes. We started talking about moving in together so we could make it work because so much juggling and time apart was stressful. I also pressured him about marriage again someday. He said he was unsure and couldn’t say for certain. It got tense and I backed off. I pressured him for a time frame to move in. At first he said didn’t know b/c he has 3 teenagers he has to be careful with and didn’t want to upset them. I pressured him and he said he is certain he wants a future with me. Eventually said 2-5 years. I said no way to 5. He then said 2 years. He was also upset with me not proceeding through my divorce off & on even though sometimes said he doesn’t actually care that I am divorced. We broke up a month ago after I was pressuring him so much and one morning I was insensitive/apathetic to his need to talk about being upset about his son being stressed out. His ex wife was also breaking doeb. I was feeling down/upset/not taking care of myself. I had a lot of my own stress. He said he couldn’t go on with the arguing. I asked him to stay with me one more night. He did, said he didn’t want to abandon me. We cried, hugged, kissed, told eachother we loved eachother. He said I was one of the best parts of his life & so beautiful. In the morning when he left we just said we love eachother. Not goodbye. He sent me a quick msg later that day. Next day I begged. By the day after that I quit. He said he just needed a break. I went into 13 days no contact. Broke it accidentally. I sent short positive messages. Then back into NC. On day 6 he broke it with sending me a msg about the show we used to watch together & it reminds him of me everytime, hopes I am ok. I sent back a short msg. He said he has so many happy memories with me and thank you. Next day I sent short positive accountability msg. He sent back one right away about how he loved our time together, he hopes I can find over the moon happiness someday, i am beautiful – never forget it, thanking me for me, my kindness, my love. Nothing about getting together. All I sent was thank you & that is so kind. I didn’t know what to do. I have been told by a few ppl maybe he thinks i’m moving on. Everytime we interact I am postive and say I’m good. Short messages only. Then 4 days NC. Yesterday I sent a short flirty msg about singing together. He sent a short one back with emoji smile face. I sent back a short one with a question. Now silence. No reply.I am ….where do I go from here? Sometimes during the relationship I did not show my appreciation for him. I pressured him for commitment at times & actually was not commiting myself.

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

December 4, 2019 at 8:17 pm

Hey Lana, so the issue is you keep breaking no contact…. No Contact is as period of time where you ignore your ex, you do not reach out and you do not reply to his messages either. You need to do a full 30 days of not speaking to him at all. Keep to it and do some more reading on the website about how to follow this program properly

Zoe

November 29, 2019 at 1:57 am

Hi Chris,

My ex and I were together for a year and it was very intensive.
He said he loved me very early on and was very clear that he wanted to be with me forever.

We have 5 kids between us (my 2 and his 3 – ages 4;7;9;13;13).

We had a few weeks where things were hard toward the end of our relationship (we ended 9 weeks ago) and argued about them – his ex (mom of his kids) was making it hard for us to have time together by making a lot of demands on him, I was also feeling insecure as I had gained a little weight.
Anyway, we argued a few times in those last 5 weeks or so. Still had amazing sex though and 2 days before he ended things, we were looking at houses (that he was searching and pushing us for).

Anyway, he ended things. Loads of tears from us both. I begged a lot.
He kept saying that he was finding life hard being without me. That he would never love anyone like me and never let anyone in his and his sons life like he has me. He’d still hold me close, stroke my hair and face and talk about how good things always were with us.

2 weeks into the break, we ended up having a lovely night together and I slept with him. The next day he got up and said “we shouldn’t have done that” and later texted me to say “we have to stay away from each other”.

He maintained that we could not be together again as he was too scared we’d argue again and too scared of hurting like our break up has hurt. We just have to “move on”.

5 weeks ago he started seeing someone else – a complete opposite to me.

When I found out, I freaked – lots of begging and being upset. Since seeing her he has seen me 3 times and all 3 times he has said again about the fear of of arguing again etc. I have begged for us to give things a chance rather than lose the good stuff.
3 weeks ago was the last time I saw him. While holding me close he said “you’d not want me back now, I’ve been with someone else”
I replied “I’d you came back and Said you’d make a mistake, we’d have to draw a line and I’d have to trust you”.

He got agitated at that and acted like I was in the way and had to leave.
I left. Decided to go NC.
Failed miserably so had to restart it again a week later.

This is where it gets complicated.
My ex = m
His new woman = D
Her ex = J….
At the start of this week I was contacted by J!!! He told me a lot of awful stuff about D.
J then contacted D and told her that he had told me everything (about her debt, her previous ‘night jobs’ (escorting and lap dancing) and said that my ex should know this stuff etc for his own good).
M then started threatening to contact the police for stalking etc.
(D sent a screenshot of that conversation between her and M to J…if you follow).

I left it 2 days and sent a message to M explaining that I had been told a lot of bad stuff, that I hadn’t repeated it to anyone and basically that I felt I was being treated like a villain in a situation where I have simply been a listener. Reassured him that the stuff said would go no further but to not be too quick to believe – to do some homework.

M said that J was nuts and was being nasty and making things up about her etc…. that I should block him and stay away from him.
Only, I know what J has said is the truth – he’s sent me proof.
I suggested that most of what J said was about her owing money and that if she pays that back – then he’ll back off.
M said that it was nothing to do with that and that J was stalking and begging her to get back with him (I know that’s not true – at the time D claimed this happened, he was in his office in a different city to where she lives talking to me on the phone!)

So I reaffirmed to M that I was just offering a solution, said I was seeing someone else anyway (I’m not – but he need not know that) and I just wanted him to be cautious (I’m pretty certain M doesn’t know about D’s adult work as I know M would be mortified at that!). It looks very much like D is lying a lot to M about stuff.

Ended the conversation and I’ve not been in touch since.

So what do I do now please?
M is adamant we are done and that he’s now with D but he doesn’t know the full truth of her….and I will never say anything to him, that’s his to find out.

What do I do now?
I’ve decided on no contact. It’s killing me he’s still seeing D, esp as I know from others she’s not a good person.
I worry about M and his sons (as I love them obviously and don’t think a woman that does those things (her 20 year old daughter does those things too) is going to be good for M or his boys).

Is he likely to see the light at some point and realise that stability with me has more longevity than the excitement of her?

He never stopped saying I was his one and that we would grow old together – he said I was always forever.
Please help!
Thank you

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

December 4, 2019 at 6:16 pm

Hey Zoe, so it is really important that you stop speaking to J, and that you do a No Contact properly on M for 45 days minimum. Even though right now he is with other woman and believes her, or at least tells you he does, it is the honeymoon phase and things are new and good for them for now, which is also why you need to do 45 no contact. You need to also ask yourself why J would want D back if she is so terrible. Remove yourself from what seems like a toxic situation that is likely to explode. You need to No Contact J indefinitely in my opinion

Ivory

October 29, 2019 at 11:54 am

I’ve been dating this girl for 1.5 years (we’re lesbians), and we live together.
She broke things off 1 week ago because she was feeling attraction to another girl and kissed her while they were out drinking one night. She wanted to break up to have space to figure things out.

We’re still sharing a one bedroom apartment though (I am not in a position to move out and she said she doesn’t want me to). And she still initiates “I love you” and kisses, still calls me “my baby”, she still wants to cuddle at night, wants to hold hands, invited me to dinner with her mum (first timing meeting her), invited me to her friends engagement party next month, asked if I still wanted her to come to my friend’s overseas wedding next year. She also said that she thinks “we were made for each other”.

I don’t understand how she can say/do all this, but she was the one that broke up with me? And she still goes to the other girls house a couple times a week.
I don’t know if we are actually more on a ‘break’ to work on things & eventually get back together, or she is stringing me along.

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

October 30, 2019 at 1:24 pm

Ivory, to me it sounds like is having her cake and eating it too…. You need to try and move out even if its to a friends place short term. You are going to end up in this situation where he sees you and the other girl until she commits to one of you. I would try to do a limited NC, stop the kissing and cuddling. Stop the I love yous. Sleep on the sofa if you have to. Don’t share a bed right now. Show yourself the respect you deserve. Shes got out of cheating (kissing) the other girl because shes saying she is confused.

Mira

October 28, 2019 at 5:15 pm

Hi Chris & EBR Team,

My ex and I just broke up 4 months ago after 1 month he gone away to clear his mind. He thought he could reset the relationship.

We had serious conversation and planning to get married after he buy a house even though we never met each other family.

FYI, this is our 3rd breakup. 1st breakup was in 2010 and we got back together in 2016. You advised me to go for a 2nd date with him and yeah, it works on me. 2nd breakup was in June 2018 and we got back together after 2 months.

After we got back together on 2nd time, he once told me that next breakup going to be the last and it won’t happen again.

He said he didn’t open up to me as I do and have not done much for me.

So after he dumped me, I unfriended him on facebook and unfollowed him on instagram.

I did that not because I hate him. But I think I gave up on him or this relationship. I’m tired of it. I feel sad but I don’t know how to react on this anymore. I acted normal, like nothing happen to me.

But he seemed regretted and sad ever since he is not with me. He said he made a choice and have to accept it. I want to try to get him but I kind of don’t have any heart to do so. Maybe I feel stupid if I want him back as I think he has no feelings for me anymore.

I need your advice on this issue. Whether I should move on or love myself more than him. Thank you

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

October 30, 2019 at 8:06 pm

Hi Mira, so the most important thing always is to learn to love yourself first and foremost. So definitely work on that. As for getting him back this process does require emotional control, confidence in yourself and what we do here, and some inner strength too. I do suggest doing the NC properly and then from there see how you feel when youve done the things that NC requires to be the Ungettable girl. If he wants you back in the mean time he will show this in some ways. But you really do need to love yourself and be happy alone, before you can be happy with someone else

Alison

October 25, 2019 at 4:24 pm

Hi I met a guy.
Really liked him..Hes divorced with kids
Works away. Home every two weeks.
Communicates via text.
Use to respond almost immediately
Met up few times..aware he liked me.
And told me so.
Did say happy single missed out in life previously married.
Started to not respond to my texts..Felt cooling off.
Asked him about it.Stated guessed right.
And he likes me but not in that way.
He said not been true.
We are not compatible.
But only new him mainly over the phone texts
And daily for few months in contact.
I felt hurt let down .
I the stated maybe if comfortable would he welcome the occasional text.He agreed.
Presently that’s what I do.
He responds.
He asks how I am.And I him.where he at times states I guess I’m old.But fed up.
And things are not too good.He states
So now for no reason.Hes not responding to texts.
I’ve not text him back..Giving space.
Seeking your advice Chris.

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

October 27, 2019 at 9:11 pm

Hey Alison so what happens here is the chase appears to be over for him as you are too available to him. Leave him be for a while and reach out again but be very slow and less available to him via text – sometimes its harder to re attract someone who we havent had a relationship with but you also need to appear the Ungettable girl – you can do some reading on this during your NC so you understand the image you need to create

Bella

October 22, 2019 at 12:41 pm

Hey! So I did the no contact Rule for 21 days and on Day 11 he contacted me through text. After I finished my 21 days yesterday, I sent him the first contact message on whatsapp and he read it, but did not respond!

So at this point do l go back to the no contact rule again?

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

October 22, 2019 at 6:08 pm

wait 72 hours and if you get no reply try again in 7-10 days if no response again then its NC again

Megan Cho

October 17, 2019 at 7:04 pm

My ex-boyfriend and I dated for over two years and we were very serious about marriage. We were planning for our marriage and our future. We are two devoted Christians. Our relationship was very good until this one text that I sent him… it was meant as a joke but.. he took it seriously. While he was at his Kenya mission trip, I saw a friend of mine video chatting his gf that also happened to go on Kenya Mission Trip. I got jealous because my ex-boyfriend didnt send me anything. (I didnt know the back story of their mission struggles…) So i sent a text saying, Why arent you thinking about me?! following with cutesy text. He thought that text was very oppressive and told me that he found out reasons to break up with me for two weeks. So we broke up on August 31, 2019. And everything felt very emotional, so we decided to do a private bible study together once a week for 6 weeks. And because of the amount of stress I was handling… I was clingy and I kept messaging him. But the funny thing is… my ex claims that he still doesnt know his feelings. We tried to restore our relationship and there were some definite chemistry going on. Two weeks ago, we got into an argument and he called me apologize, he told me that he is enjoying his freedom right now, but he still occasionally thinks about getting back with me. And a week ago while he drove me home… he started crying in his car because he feels very bad that he was a bad boyfriend. And I asked him if he still likes me and he said yes, it’s just he doesnt know how much he likes me. (He was holding my hands while saying this)
I really enjoy being with him. And he even claims that he enjoys his time with him. I broke off the bible study this Wednesday and I told him (through the phone) because I really want to go back to being friends with him. (I think I messed up, but whatever) And I do limited contact with him because we do this thing where we post our thoughts about the bible on a bible app, and we comment on each other’s comment. (Something that he wants to do it as well.) He told me the reasons why he broke up with me the past Tuesday (I begged him because I really needed a closure.) and the reasons are really some stuff that can be worked out if he would have just communicated with me. He told me that the wants to be very opned to every possibility. For example, getting back with me, dating something and then getting back with me, or just marrying someone else. And he knows that I want to be friends with him. Like rebuild our friendship… It is day 5 into NC and I went on his instagram and I found that our photos are archived/deleted. Does this mean that NC is working?

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

October 20, 2019 at 10:09 pm

Yes going to the effort of removing photos is an emotional reaction so it is working and clearly you are on your exes mind

Damilola Adebanjo

October 16, 2019 at 10:11 pm

Me and my boyfriend broke up 5 months ago and I did d NC for two months. During that two months, our mutual friends told me that he keeps asking of me. After the NC, we saw each other, we greeted briefly and went away.
He do tell me I am actually the one but now he said he don’t want to date me anymore because I am gullible. Do I still have a chance

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

October 20, 2019 at 9:47 pm

By following the program and working on yourself you give yourself the best chance of getting your ex back so do the work and read some articles that apply to your situation

Christina

October 9, 2019 at 3:50 pm

Hi Chris,

So I was listening to your podcast. I tried to see my situation in this and I dont. My ex broke up with me back in July. Here we are October and him and still keep in contact on a consistent basis. He has said that he loves me and that I was a big part of his growth and he cares about me. When we don’t talk everyday he still checks on me and want to know what Is going on in my life. I really want to see him but so far its just been a lot of text and phone calls. Also he been on vacation in North Carolina for a month now at least I still think hes there I cant be for sure bc he blocked me from snap chat but still communicating with me thru text and calls which I don’t understand that either, do you? I guess my basic question is how do we move this along? I dont see why we cant be together, should I flat out ask? Or let him come around when hes ready? He never told me he loved me when we was together in fact he said he wanted to see how things went with us bc when he says I love you its forever but for some reason he doesnt seem to be wanting to ask me to get back together why? He was in iraq for almost a year and what bothers me the most is the fact that hes been back since Aug but hasnt seen me yet. What does that mean? I still really love him and ive told him that. What should I do now?

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

October 9, 2019 at 8:22 pm

Hi Christina, so your situation is where he is keeping you open to him while he gets used to not being your boyfriend, you need to go into a full NC and not contact him for some time and also be open to casually dating new guys. Just to show your ex you’re not going to wait around forever for him

Marie

September 1, 2019 at 3:33 pm

Afternoon Chris,

I have been doing the no contact rule and it ends in about a week.

I have been doing pretty good at the NC but last week my ex fiancé texted me during the NC to inform me of a situation that I have been supporting him and have been by his side During that time. Since now we are no longer together because he broke the engagement two months ago (we were together four years , engaged two years) , he reached out last week for the first time to inform me how the situation is proceeding and next steps I the process. I was surprised because three weeks prior I sent a text to him wanting to see his daughter ( my step daughter) because I have not seen her since the breaking of our relationship, and I received no answer back. Which has never happened. That’s when I implemented the NC.

So now that he reached out to me last week and I did respond back with much support and good will toward him, do I go back to the NC when it has been interrupted by him texting me? Do I just continue the NC until the 30 days are over or start the 30 days from scratch?

I know I should have not texted him when he did but I knew how important this situation was for him. Was not sure if I should have acknowledged his message or should have left it alone without a response.

Please advise.

Thank you for everything!
Mira

August 18, 2019 at 5:06 pm

Hi Chris,
My ex and I just broke up 2 months ago after 1 month he gone away to clear his mind. He thought he could reset the relationship.

We had serious conversation and planning to get married after he buy a house even though we never met each other family.

FYI, this is our 3rd breakup. 1st breakup was in 2010 and we got back together in 2016. You advised me to go for a 2nd date with him and yeah, it works on me. 2nd breakup was in June 2018 and we got back together after 2 months.

After we got back together on 2nd time, he once told me that next breakup going to be the last and it won’t happen again.

He said he didn’t open up to me as I do and have not done much for me.

So after he dumped me, I unfriended him on facebook and unfollowed him on instagram.

I did that not because I hate him. But I think I gave up on him or this relationship. I’m tired of it. I feel sad but I don’t know how to react on this anymore. I acted normal, like nothing happen to me.

But he seemed regretted and sad ever since he is not with me. He said he made a choice and have to accept it. I want to try to get him but I kind of don’t have any heart to do so. Maybe I feel stupid if I want him back as I think he has no feelings for me anymore.

I need your advice on this issue. Whether I should move on or love myself more than him. Thank you
Kiara

August 12, 2019 at 5:43 pm

My boyfriend of almost four months broke up with me. He’s a year older than me and is a freshman in college now. Everything was great for the first two months. He told me that he wanted to build with me and it seemed like we were going to be together for a long time. Then it seemed like he was losing interest when he went to school for conditioning for his sport. He stopped initiating the text and I kept texting him to get him to text me. This led to us arguing. When we would argue, he would tell me “you either want to build with me or not” and every time I would tell him I do want to build with him. A week before we broke up, we argued and this time it was because I was upset that he wasn’t showing no effort towards the relationship and how he didn’t show affection towards me. He sent me a picture that said “either you want to build or bullshit it’s shit deeper than calling you bae” and told me that we weren’t vibing right now but we were going to get through it and I was moving to fast. The things that he claimed I was moving to fast for we were about two months into our relationship and he was going to meet my family. I met his family a month after we were dating and I saw nothing wrong with him meeting some of my extended family. The day we broke up he wouldn’t let me follow him on Instagram. I was curious so I kept asking why. Finally I asked these four questions:
1. What are you about to say that I don’t want to see?
2. Are you going to talk s*** about me?
3. Do you want to break up with me?
4. Is there another girl?
He told me it was none of my business to know what he was going to post, maybe or maybe not, I told you before I do not care if we are together or not, yes I haven’t made a move on her but I saw a girl up here and I’m just cool with her. I FaceTimed him and he told me that he didn’t want a relationship right now. I cried so much talked to my friends and later that night I FaceTimed him again to tell him how I felt. I told him how I felt hurt and I asked him how did you say that you want to build with me the break up with me week later. He told me that he still did but our relationship was going nowhere and it was basically toxic. So now it’s been four days. I miss him and I’m confused. I want him back but I just want this pain to stop. I believe we were good for each other it’s just things didn’t work out and we needed space but I was so attached that I couldn’t distance myself from him.
Adriana brito

July 27, 2019 at 5:07 pm

Hello Chris
My boyfriend of 3 years broke up with me because Il too codependent to him and he feels hes pulling me backwards into reaching my goals, I agree and I am working on it.. he also thinks he is not ready for forever yet and he wants to experience other girls and have that moment, which I also understand. Right now im working on being the best version of myself but I really want him back when I reach that. He says He loves me and if he ever wants a realtionship he coulndt think of a better person
Also, I want him to kind of miss me, since we broke up.. we still know what the others doing and we’ve been texting often although never as before but I want to make him know Im not always gonna be there because he’s too comfortable with that thought of me always being there because thats what I showed him
I want him to live his process and Ill do mine, But he really is to me my perfect guy, hes the one that I want so I dont wanna mess up right now.. I want to have him back with help
M.

June 27, 2019 at 10:05 pm

Hi Chris. My boyfriend of almost 2 months has broken up with me because he said he can’t love and doesn’t see a future for us. Now bear in mind, that two days before he broke up with me he said he is falling in love with me big time. I must point out that I was the one to say it first and then he followed after and said is as well. He was always talking about us being together, he even asked me to marry him some day in the future to which I replied to ask me after a year or two. I wanted to take things slow and really get to know each other. Because of his poor financial situation I was trying to be accommodating and not do many things that would be expensive. He is also divorced with a child. We would mainly hang around his place, watch movies, cook dinner and so long. I met some of his friends and he was talking about how me and his mum would get along and how his dad would like me. His ex wife takes out the worst in him and has so much hate towards her. He said he loves my brain, my looks, the way I talk and everything about me but he has too many demons and the spark in the relationship is gone. I don’t believe all of this and I just think that he got scared after we both confessed that we are falling in love with each other. When he broke up with me, he came to my place and brought all my stuff with him not giving me any chance to see him again. It came out of the blue because I thought that things were going good and we just hit one of the bumps where we had to communicate and sort it out. He even suggested how to get over him: delete him of Facebook, delete all of our conversations.
I really want to talk to him and see where his head is at because I truly believe that this is just him being scared. What do you think?
Lejla

May 31, 2019 at 2:51 am

Hi chris
My boyfriend of 3 months broke up with me about a month ago saying hes going through a lot and needs time to himself to figure his stuff out and doesnt have time for a relationship right now, I’ve been doing NC for about 3 weeks now and it hasn’t been easy, his brothers been messaging me and telling me that he still loves me and misses me. I miss him very much and I want him back. We were talking about marriage and telling me he wants a future with me and all that good stuff and he was also telling his family that as well. I dont know what else I can do to get him to come back…
Sam

May 11, 2019 at 10:10 pm

My bf of 2 years left me to try out a rebound relationship 2 months ago. The girl is the polar opposite of me. Very introverted which is not his usual style. I was no contact for 3 weeks and then we bumped into each other. He started texting immediately after that and by the end of that week was sexting me. I thought maybe he had broken up with her but then saw her car in his driveway. I’m hurt all over again. I wrote him a note saying that it was confusing and felt like he was toying with me. I’m in the middle of moving and making some changes in life and told him I needed to focus on that. He responded that he’d give me space. Now what?

Chris Seiter

May 11, 2019 at 10:50 pm

Hi Sam….so I think you are on the right track. Sometimes giving each other some space and time in a strategic way, which I get into in my Program, is a wise course of action.

Nook

April 29, 2019 at 1:56 pm

Hi Christ,

I’m Nook from Thailand. I had 8 months relationship with French guy who live in Thailand also. A few weeks ago he broke up with me because he wants to be single and I am too dependent. He said it’s not my fault but his fault and I tried to convince him.He said we can get back together in 5-10 years if we will have more experience. Then 4 days ago I went to a bar with him for picking my stuff up and then we were both drunk, he and I cried a lot and he said he still love me and he know I want to get back but he doesn’t want to hurt me anymore then we cried all night and finally we had sex together. After I came back home he texted me and I replied him but he didn’t respond anything and he texted me again in the next day but I don’t reply anything. Now now he is on Tinder and talking to a girl. He said he like her but he doesn’t want crazy people come in his life because she a bit crazy. So what should I do ? I’ll send you the reasons he wants to breakup with me below:

This text from my ex in first day we broke up

I think you noticed I was not feeling good this last weeks, overthinking a lot.
To be honest I wanted to break up with you but I was too afraid of your reaction to say it in front of you. That’s why I’m writing this.
I’m sorry to tell you all this in a letter but with you it’s too complicated to explain face to face or even on the phone.

I’d like to have a simple relationship, have my own space and time, and see you one time per week.
But you want to see me everyday, you want to text me all the time, you want us to live together, you want me to meet your parents…
Because of this one of us is always unhappy.
You ask too much of me.
I’m tired and bored of being in a relationship.
You do a lot of efforts all the time, and I don’t do any, I feel guilty of it, but this iust cannot work anymore…
You communicate very very little, even with me!
Also we don’t have much sex anymore.
We are bored of each other.

You are a great person, you are the cutest one, and I spent a really great six months with you. I don’t regret at all. But I want to move on, I want to have more time, more freedom. I want to be single. I want to be able to move to another country if I want so. I want to meet new people.

I’m so sorry. You deserve to find someone good for you, that will want a relationship as long and serious as you want. If we stay together longer it will just hurt you even more when we will finally break up…

That’s he said. So could you please you give me a suggestion.
Jazmin

April 23, 2019 at 3:40 pm

Hi Chris! So my ex of 3 and half years broke up with me about a month ago, out of no where. He only felt weirdly for e days then broke up with me. When he broke up with me he said he was confused and needs to focus on himself and his goals. He said he still has feelings for me but doesnt want to focus on love and is putting it in the back of his head. He said he was too happy and comfortable in our relationship and didnt want to be cause he wasnt where he financially wanted to be in life. He felt “he had to sacrifice the thing he loved the most, to gain something else he loves.” He chose his ambition over us. He said hopefully who knows maybe or maybe not in future we will cross paths again and get back together. I asked if he would want to and he said he wants to say yes but he doenst want to give me hope. But he still has feelings for me. Whenever he sees me he tries to completely avoid me. And I dont know what to do. I’m doing the no contact and posting on social media. But like i dont understand if he loved me so much then how did he break up so easily. (Mind you he cried when he broke up with me and the first week, and whenever he saw me in the first two weeks his eyes would get red.)

Chris Seiter

April 23, 2019 at 8:13 pm

Hi Jazmin…No contact has many advantages, but its important to implement properly so it benefits you both personally as well as potentially help you with recovering your ex. I have a ton of resources and eBooks that can help you thru all of this!

Annette Mcnair

March 21, 2019 at 6:18 pm

My ex left 7months ago didn’t talk for a month then we did friends with benefit I stoped it after 2month as it missed me up he then met a girl friend they have been together 4months he still texts me and wants to b friends if I say I don’t want to anymore he has a melt down he gets upset y
We were together 22years

Chris Seiter

March 22, 2019 at 12:36 am

Hi Annette!

So it might be best to employ what I call the “Being There” method. I wrote a post about it, but if you reach out to my via the “Contact Form” link found at the bottom of each website page, then I can fill in more details.

Roli

March 15, 2019 at 6:21 pm

Hi Chris. So I have gotten the books but I’m stuck. Exact words my ex used were that he wasn’t avoiding me but he was trying to give me space so as not to fill my vacuum. He says he has experienced and heardtoo many dark things about women and doesn’t think he will get married. All he wants to do is focus on work .
He cares for me and doesn’t want me or anyone to say he wasted my time when he knew he wasn’t going to marry. What do you make of this?.
We have started contact again and it been about 19days. He hasn’t initiated yet though and I’m trying to space out my messages sometimes he responds quickly other times not so and some messages not at all. Pls help

Chris Seiter

March 16, 2019 at 1:10 am

Hi Roli! Ummmm he is way off the mark about what he says are dark things about women. Its almost absurd. Perhaps he has some attachment insecurities or possibly he is just using this line.

Either way…just go it slow. If he is not reasonably responsive to your texts, then back off and give him his space to see how he responds. This can be a slow process, but there should be no rush and hopefully he will get more educated on how a woman can be a wonderful thing in his life if he opens up his heart.

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