What Your Ex Boyfriend Is Thinking During The No Contact Rule

546 thoughts on “Here’s Exactly What He’s Thinking During The No Contact Rule”

Bella

June 15, 2017 at 10:46 am

14 days into no contact, I saw my ex boyfriend on the bus. I looked away, to show him that I was not there on purpose (I had begged for him not to break up). I wanted to make him understand that I am no longer in this desperate mindset. Is the NC ruined now and do I need to start over the NC? (we never talked, just had eye contact). I was planning to write to him on day 21 or 30.

EBR Team Member: Amor

June 17, 2017 at 7:05 am

nope.. you just have to continue the count.

Rachel

June 14, 2017 at 10:27 pm

I feel like my situation is unlike any other. My ex and I didn’t text 24/7. He actually didn’t even have a phone. We could only talk through fb messenger when he had wifi. But anyways, We have broken up and gotten back together a million times because he can’t get over an ex who lives about 2 hours away and has a new boyfriend. So, Long story short, we were broken up and going to get back together (or so I thought) but then one day he invited me to a show at a bar later that night after we just spent all day and the last night together. So, I met him there with friends and he forgot he invited me and was on a freaking tinder date. I left and said f*** you. That’s the last I saw him. And he ended up going home with the girl. He messaged me a few days later to tell me something and I said I never wanted to hear from him again. Im not exactly regretting anything, but I do miss him and want to remain friends someday. I’m just really upset about the whole thing and need someone to talk to I guess. This happened about two weeks ago. Thank you

EBR Team Member: Amor

June 17, 2017 at 6:07 am

Hi Rachel,

You’re a rebound..
check this links:
How To Get An On Again/Off Again Boyfriend Back
EBR 034: Are YOU The Rebound For Your Ex Boyfriend?

smashbolt

June 2, 2017 at 7:10 am

hi.. i recently broke up with my guy and i’ve been following the no contact rule. It’s been like a few days …But its been really hard for me to put a smiling face when i get to see him everyday. so he texted me telling “i’m feeling the heat of ur ignorance.. very nice carry on”.. i did not reply to this msg but i happened to see him again that day i jus wrote on a paper that i need sometime for myself and i hope u can understand. After i left he texted me asking for my account number as he had to pay me some money and i did not reply back.. Am i doing the no contact period right ? i’m focusing completely on myself but i become clueless when i get to see him everyday. what should i do?

EBR Team Member: Amor

June 2, 2017 at 7:34 pm

its ok to give him your account number.. just dont talk about feelings, how are yous, and the relationship

Hollie

June 1, 2017 at 9:56 pm

I was casually seeing someone for two months and we were getting closer but found out had gone with other woman. I have never ever ignored him. We split up and I ended it on Tuesday and I had a text this morning Thursday already with a link to a song he was trying to remember. Um hello we split up! What do I do? Wait for him to text again? I’m shocked he’s text so soon.

EBR Team Member: Amor

June 2, 2017 at 7:14 pm

are you going to do the no contact rule? if you are, do at least 21 days.

Patricia

June 1, 2017 at 5:16 pm

Don’t those thought processes only apply to guys who have been broken up with? Because in my case, he did the breaking up and I seriously doubt that he even thinks of me anymore. I mean, why should someone think of something they threw away? And to be honest, why should the person, who decided to break up even want their ex to come back? Wasn’t it their goal to not hear from them? If someone breaks up with you, doesn’t it mean they want nothing to do with you? I’m not trying to hate, I’m just questioning this and usually I’m an optimist, but I’m scared of believing this and getting my hopes up, only to get hurt again.

EBR Team Member: Amor

June 2, 2017 at 6:37 pm

he will think of you because he’s used to having you around like routine.. by human nature, we live by routine..and by breaking up with you, he breaks the routine..

Alexia

May 28, 2017 at 9:19 am

Hi can you offer a bit of advice I need some help my bf and I have been together 8 months we met online …. the issue is we would always argue because he said I was always keeping things from him truth is I come from a vey abusive past which I have not told him he wants to meet my family and friends and I have always lied and made excuses so he wouldn’t not because I never told him about my past …. well he had enough said I was hiding things from him and lying and that was it he hated me and will never talk to me again I sent two texts in the past week and he won’t respond at all ….. I purchased the program but find it hard to do no contact when I just want to say sorry

EBR Team Member: Amor

May 29, 2017 at 7:07 pm

but you have already told him all the truth?

Natalie

May 28, 2017 at 1:55 am

Hi there

My ex and I have been together for 7 happy months before we broke up. He has supported me by giving me an apartment , car and allowance through this time. We never really had a fight until three weeks ago when I got annoyed he didn’t call me and decided to tell him I wanted to “take a break” through whatsapp. After he saw that he didn’t say anything for two days. On May 8th I went into surgery and he texted me after to see how I was doing as my parents were in town. I brought up the fact that he didnt call again and he got annoyed, and I got annoyed decided to break up with him through whatsapp. He replied and said his heart was broken and he couldnt call me because if he did he would cry. I became a gnat after regretting that decision a couple hours later , calling and messaging saying I regretted my decision but he didnt reply until the next day when he said we should indeed part. I told him to please think it over. A week later, he tells me on whatsapp that he wants to be friends but that he would always love me forever and that I would always be in his heart. I accepted his decision with a mere “ok” and we have gone NC since. Until thursday when I saw him at the gym and we ignored each other. Yesterday I find out through whatsapp that he deleted my number… Not sure what to do now. I’ve really broken his heart but I want him back. We are soulmates and I truly believe we were together in the previous lifetime. His birthday actually falls on the day the NC ends, and I am thinking about surprising him at the gym with his favourite chocolate and a card….

EBR Team Member: Amor

May 29, 2017 at 6:47 pm

nope, dont greet him.. here’s why:
EBR 057: Birthdays And The No Contact Rule

Jia Ling

May 26, 2017 at 10:03 am

Hi, I have been doing 30 Days No Contact Rule. It was really hard for me to cut off communication I admit it that I was being a GNAT on the day we argued and ended up with breakup. In the beginning of NC, I would of been checking him mostly on Whatsapp to see his “last seen” (we still kept each other’s phone contact so I could see it). During our relationship he claimed that he was very busy at work and he barely checked phone. It was pretty annoying and created insecurity. I thought he could of at least taken one minute or even less to text me. Well, we were in long distance at that moment, I was in China and he was in France. Time difference affected our communication. But when we finally had time to communicate it always went good. It was just he could disappear and being very slow response. Our last conversation was on May 1st 2017 ,his last words was like “you are crazy, selfish, you dont know shit about my life. you know what i’m done with you. find another guy, bye goodluck.” Then, I replied him like “how could I know when you let me know nothing? yeah call me selfish as you like, but you are no different than me. whatever I dont care anymore.” He read that but he never replied back, I decided to start NC the day after. Long story short, on May 25th 2017 at 12:30 AM which is Day 24th of NC, I was about to go to bed when I heard notif sound for message on phone. It was him saying only “Fine” on whatsapp. I totally had no idea what he meant by that. What do you think why he acted like that? Was it probably him trying to respond my last message on May 2? But it’s kinda weird, ain’t it? Cause when I stalked his last seen he seemed bit active using that app. Or was it just him feeling pissed off cause I wasnt a gnat anymore then testing and wanted to see my reaction? However, I ignored it and I’m not gonna break the NC. But what to do when I have reached Day 30? Should I extend it to 45 days and wait if he tries contact me ?

Jia Ling

June 5, 2017 at 12:56 am

So, I had messaged him on few days ago saying “hey I just saw something that you probably want to hear” and got his response “tell me.” so I talked about stuff that we ever talked about a beautiful place called Annecy in France and in the end of message I put “it kinda reminded me of you.” he replied “aww you’re cute. yeah its beautiful place.” and the next conversation was going fine. but I had hard time to end conversation, not because I pushed too much, I planned to limit my mssgs based on the rule offered in this site.
But he also took hours to reply me, which could be more than 6-10 hrs. It was probably because of his busy work time idk though. and yesterday when we started convo again, he only said “yes it is :)” as a response to my message that was sent (maybe) 8 hrs before. I am stucked till now don’t know what to do and my feeling is kinda telling me that he probably has moved on and who knows have other girl. Seems like he also hasn’t had motivation to ask anything about me after the NC. What can you tell about it?
EBR Team Member: Amor

June 7, 2017 at 3:12 pm

rest for a week before trying again and use a more interesting topic for him
Jia Ling

May 28, 2017 at 5:30 am

I didn’t mention that he had actually checked whatsapp and read my last message on 1-2 days after I sent it which was still on beginning of May, but he didn’t reply and I notice he becomes a little bit more active on whatsapp till now, not like when he was with me, he would of said he was busy and rarely checked message. If I want to initiate contact after 30 NC, what should I say to him as opening text? Or if I extend it longer than 30 days but less than 45, is it allowed? What do you think is best option to do since he only sent me text once during 30 NC?
EBR Team Member: Amor

May 29, 2017 at 6:58 pm

it’s ok if you go less then 45.. check this one:
EBR 053: Deconstructing The Perfect First Contact Text Message
EBR Team Member: Amor

May 27, 2017 at 3:47 pm

it can be that, or he just didnt really check the message until then… you can initiate contact after 30 days.. but if you want to extend to 45 thats ok too.

Melissa

May 26, 2017 at 1:14 am

Hi,
My story is a little different. I met him on a personals website and we hit it off immediately. We texted each other every day straight for 23 days and video chatted 6 times. He called me several times and made lots of future plans with me. He was always very loving , kind and eager to share his day with me. He lives in VIrginia and I live in NYC so we nevery actually met in person but i was planning on going down there tomorrow. 5 days ago he cut off contact with me…it was so strange because he always texted me in the morning to start our conversations. I texted him and he did not respond. 4 days ago I texted him again asking if everything was okay. 3 I sent him an email because I thought maybe something happened to his phone and he lost my contact information but he never contacted me and my friends told me he was ghosting me which broke my heart. I called him 2 days ago and I got his voicemail. I left him a message fighting back the tears. I told him that I really enjoyed our communications, that he made me happy and that I realize that he no longer wants to speak with me and I wished him a happy life. One day since no contact. Is there any chance that I might get him back? My brother says maybe we were too hot too soon and now he’s afraid of getting burn so he’s backing off. I desperately want him back. We connected on so many levels. I want to do the 30 day of NC but is it possible to get him back at this point?

EBR Team Member: Amor

May 27, 2017 at 3:34 pm

Hi Melissa,

You have to start off not being desperate.. it’s normal to feel that way, since you’re still in the honeymoon period, so keep that in mind and also, you dont know him that much.. There can be a lot of reasons why he ghosted you.. right now, if you’re going to try nc, try at least 3 weeks.

Selena

May 22, 2017 at 3:27 am

I have been dating with this guy for 2 months. He said he doesn’t date with anyone els. A week ago, he called me “girlfriend ” in his text with me.
I slept with him on Saturday night ( this is the second time sleep together, and also first time we had sex ), he told me that he need to go work on Sunday so he couldn’t take me to the beach as the plan before . But my gut told me something wrong. I left in the Sunday afternoon , then I drove back his place (without notice him ) in the evening, found a strange car in front of his garage. I stayed in my car for whole night outside . And the next morning, I saw he kisses a girl before both of them leaving for work. They didn’t see me.

I tried to keep calm, and acted like nothing happened. 2 days later, I told him everything I saw.
He said ” you are right. I thought I could do this, but I am not sure I am at a place I can trust people as well, so am not sure what was going on. It is all my fault for not sharing my insecurities. I can return your ear rings when you are ready.” He also said that girl was before me when I asked him. He sorry but I haven’t respond anything after that. It has been 4 days.

I am not sure NC rules can be applied for this.
But I also want him to know that he is loosing me. What should I do to keep him ?

EBR Team Member: Amor

May 22, 2017 at 6:32 pm

If I was you, I would move on.. first, it’s a short relationship. Second, he cheated on you. Third, his reply to you was not remorseful at all.. It’s like, “Ok, bye. Moving on to the next girl.” if you don’t want to, try this one:
How To Get Your Boyfriend Back If He’s “A Player”

Gatini

May 20, 2017 at 7:46 pm

I hope to hear respond from you.
I had been dating with this guy for 2 months. He said he doesn’t date with anyone els. A week ago, he called me “girlfriend ” in his text with me, called me “loved” sometimes.
I slept with him on Saturday night ( this is the second time sleep together, and also first time we had sex ), he told me that he need to go work on Sunday so he couldn’t take me to the beach as the plan before . But my gut told me something wrong. I left in the Sunday afternoon , then I drove back his place in the evening, found a strange car in front of his garage. I stayed in my car for whole night outside . And Monday morning, I saw he kissed a girl, they walked to their car , then they left ( he go work ). They didn’t see me.

I tried to keep calm, and acted like nothing happened. 2 days later, I told him everything I saw. I didn’t accuse him, I just forcus on my standard about the respect and loyalty. It might be something that is okay for him but it’s not something I want in my life . If he want to do that, he has to go and do it with a different partner who isn’t me.
He said ” you are right. I thought I could do this, but I am not sure I am at a place I can trust people as well, so am not sure what was going on. It is all my fault for not sharing my insecurities. I can return your ear rings when you are ready.” He also said that girl was before me when I asked him. He sorry but I haven’t respond anything after that. It has been 3 days.

I am not sure NC rules can be applied for this.
But I also want him to know that he is loosing me.

EBR Team Member: Amor

May 22, 2017 at 6:32 pm

If I was you, I would move on.. first, it’s a short relationship. Second, he cheated on you. Third, his reply to you was not remorseful at all.. It’s like, “Ok, bye. Moving on to the next girl.” if you don’t want to, try this one:
How To Get Your Boyfriend Back If He’s “A Player”

CS

May 10, 2017 at 7:58 am

Hi All,

My bf and I broke up about last week (last wed) after speeding almost 5months dating. I was the one initiating the break up because we were on LDR and he was so bad at communication. He told me he’s busy etc, but he made me worry often times as he likes to reply my message late (takes hours), not telling me in advance if he did not end up calling me (we made promise to call each other every day at certain times), he was not so responsive in answering all my questions and he basically told me he hates to talk and answering my silly questions. He never really asked about my day and seemed like he does not care about me at all. I always feel like a crazy gf, begging for his reply and continuously calling him until he answered my call.

One day after breaking up, he texted me like he still my bf (saying GM and wish me to got well soon). I did response to him, and then got angry again at night because when I tried to called him at the night, he did not pick up my phone (I called him several times).

So I told him better we don’t have to talk anymore (on Thursday night). He did not contact me on Friday and called me again Saturday night. I answered briefly saying that I was busy etc. and until today (a week later) he has not really contacted me anymore.

I am thinking to implement the NC rules for max 40 days. I want him to be back with me but honestly, my main priority is to change him (i know it will be hard). I want him to basically be more communicative as we are on LDR situation. I have a feeling that he will be back to me and will contact me again during the NC period, but how to make sure that he will be more communicative??

When we broke up, i told him that I am looking for someone who can communicate and love to talk to me, as well as love to answer my silly questions. etc. Let me know what you think about this.

EBR Team Member: Amor

May 11, 2017 at 7:55 pm

Nope.. that’s why you have to have standards.. If the person doesn’t fit, walk away.. If he wants to change, that would be his decision and if he decided that, that’s he’s responsibility.. don’t ask a person to change for you because you can’t control other people.. You have to give them that freedom to be themselves.. If they decided to change for you, then that’s good, be thankful but don’t take credit for it or don’t let it get to your head that he changed because of you..

Ash

May 9, 2017 at 10:25 pm

Hello!

I’m on day thirteen of no contact. In the past couple of days my ex has been commenting on my photos and messaging me. Today he sent a message saying that me ignoring him was incredibly rude and that I should just say if I don’t want to talk. He seems really irritated about this. I feel really bad because we were supposed to stay friends. Although I still don’t get why he’s so angry about it. He has several female friends that he goes long periods of time without talking to.

Before I started no contact with him he was very flirtatious. He constantly complimented me and would send me memes often. He did this afterwards as well. It’s been over two months since our break up. He was the one who dumped me.

I just wanted to ask about how long I should keep up no contact. He’s texting me often so I thought I might do the 21 days instead of 30.

Anyways thank you for reading this.

EBR Team Member: Amor

May 10, 2017 at 7:29 pm

you’re friendzoned..you need to do at least 30 days and if you weren’t active in improving yourself and in posting..you need to restart the count

Aisley

May 7, 2017 at 11:50 pm

Hello!

I was in a LDR relationship with my ex for about four months. He broke up with me in February by saying it would be better if we went back to being friends. He said that he still deeply loved and cared about me but we were too different and that he was afraid that one day we would get into a huge argument and end up hating each other and that’s not what he wanted. I was very attached to him and I even begged for him back after that. After two weeks I found out about no contact. Although I wasn’t able to use it until recently because I have a hard time not talking to him. One day I was trying to talk to him as a friend but he always acted distant and awkward about it. He started to argue with me and said that he still wasn’t over me and I had no idea how much it hurt him to talk to me. He mentioned that all he could think about was how things used to be.

A few weeks after that he sent me a message begging me to talk (well it wasn’t just a talk some things did happen on camera)with him. He had said that if we lived closer he would have done anything to make it work out and he called me beautifully kind. After that he kept complimenting me and saying he wanted to change things and said something about a song he was listening to reminded him of me. I responded that it was late and he should go to bed. After he agreed I said that if he still felt the same way in a week he could call me again and we could sit down and talk.

Two days later he makes a post about how he finally found the courage to ask his crush out. I was hurt by this, but I wished him the best. She never gave him a response and he told me this. After that he started trying to flirt with me again even though he’s supposedly waiting on a response from her.

Now, I’m on day eleven of no contact. I had written on my profile that I wouldn’t be online as much due to finals. He commented that he knew I would ace them and he believed in me. After a week had gone by I posted pictures that I took while at a costume party. He commented on them that I looked sexy and that he was glad I was back because he missed me. After that he said something about having a lot of regrets when it comes to me. He has sent me eight memes since I started no contact and continues to send them even though I left him on read.

Anyways since we broke up I started taking medicine to manage my depression and anxiety. Overall, I’m a more pleasant person to be around.

I have a few questions though. He hasn’t really sent any positive gnat messages (at least I don’t think so) even though I’m already on the eleventh day. Should I make the NC be 45 days? Also I was wondering if I’ve been friend zoned.

Any tips would be appreciated.

Thank you for reading this. 🙂

EBR Team Member: Amor

May 10, 2017 at 7:30 pm

you’re friendzoned..you need to do at least 30 days and if you weren’t active in improving yourself and in posting..you need to restart the count

Natália

April 25, 2017 at 12:38 pm

Hi, well I want to tell my story. I was alone for a long time after a terrible abusive relationship, then I just wanted some “fun” and different relationship so I went to the website seekingarrangment to find out what was that. I am brazilian, 29 years old. After some months talking with people from the site I met this one “Jerry” we started to talk through Whatsapp every single day, really long phone calls, texts and etc. I started to be in love, and it was looking like he was in the same situation. He is 59 years old. He sent me money to go to USA to meet him, and I did. It was just amazing the two days we spend together but at the end of the second day he started to have no patience with everything, he have Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder and he is a executive with a lot of pressure and he used to be in “control” of people all the time, just saying do this do that…. then he started to do that to me.
I am a psychologist and I am reaaally patient and calm. So I said for the whole day “just relax… calm down” until night.
He was making dinner for me, then he started with “do this do that” and I said “hey just calm down” He got mad at me and said “look I am like this and I wont change!!” Then I was kinda tired of him saying that to me so I said “Look if you keep treating like this I will just go to the bedroom”
After that he said for me to put the garlig on the bread. I was doing that and he started to get mad at me AGAIN he was like “Why you dont use your hands to be more fast?????” then I said ” Look its ok if you are like this but I have my time I am calm” then he started to say I am “slow”. so thats was enough for me I went to the bedroom and he screamed “ARE YOU SURE YOU WILL LEAVE ME ALONE????” and I just thought that I was bothering him so he needed a time to cool down a bit and relax.. the next morning he treated me like i wasnt at his house.
It was awful, just pretending I didnt exist. Then I said “why you didnt like me” and he said “every choice you make have a consequence, this is your choice, this is your fault”
I started to cry, because it wasnt my choice!!! then I started to say “come here lets talk” he started to treat me REALLY BAD and then I started to cry way more too.
He said I am an emotional wreck and he doesnt want that, he need someone to be with him be his wife not someone like me, he said we didnt have chemistry, and started to really hurt me emotionally.
He said “get out of my house” a couple times, but imagine the situation, i came from Brazil, I was alone there!!!!
Anyways it got really bad he said he was about to call the police if i didnt stop asking him to stop treating me like shit and just talk to me, then he didnt want to drive me to the airport so he called the uber. When the uber arrive he tried to take my bag and I just did the same as he and didnt let him touch me or mhy things.
When I leave he blocked me from EVERYWHERE, i tried to call and he blocked my number, blocked whatsapp and didnt answer my email.
I had the best and the worst weekend at same time and its been 2 weeks after that and Im still blocked… I just want him back to me he was a prince and then all this happened….
help me please. by the way I tried to buy the book but I dont have credit card doesnt have a paypal type of billying?

HELP ME PLEASE

Natália

April 25, 2017 at 12:46 pm

I forgot to say Im in NC rule at the day 9 now…
EBR Team Member: Amor

April 29, 2017 at 9:30 pm

are you improveing yourself now and being active in posting? If not, restart the count and do that even if you’re blocked. Just make the posts public.

Natália

April 25, 2017 at 12:34 pm

Hi, well I want to tell my story. I was alone for a long time after a terrible abusive relationship, then I just wanted some “fun” and different relationship so I went to the website seekingarrangment to find out what was that. I am brazilian, 29 years old. After some months talking with people from the site I met this one “Jerry” we started to talk through Whatsapp every single day, really long phone calls, texts and etc. I started to be in love, and it was looking like he was in the same situation. He is 59 years old. He sent me money to go to USA to meet him, and I did. It was just amazing the two days we spend together but at the end of the second day he started to have no patience with everything, he have Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder and he is a executive with a lot of pressure and he used to be in “control” of people all the time, just saying do this do that…. then he started to do that to me.
I am a psychologist and I am reaaally patient and calm. So I said for the whole day “just relax… calm down” until night.
He was making dinner for me, then he started with “do this do that” and I said “hey just calm down” He got mad at me and said “look I am like this and I wont change!!” Then I was kinda tired of him saying that to me so I said “Look if you keep treating like this I will just go to the bedroom”

After that he said for me to put the garlig on the bread. I was doing that and he started to get mad at me AGAIN he was like “Why you dont use your hands to be more fast?????” then I said ” Look its ok if you are like this but I have my time I am calm” then he started to say I am “slow”. so thats was enough for me I went to the bedroom and he screamed “ARE YOU SURE YOU WILL LEAVE ME ALONE????” and I just thought that I was bothering him so he needed a time to cool down a bit and relax.. the next morning he treated me like i wasnt at his house.
It was awful, just pretending I didnt exist. Then I said “why you didnt like me” and he said “every choice you make have a consequence, this is your choice, this is your fault”
I started to cry, because it wasnt my choice!!! then I started to say “come here lets talk” he started to treat me REALLY BAD and then I started to cry way more too.
He said I am an emotional wreck and he doesnt want that, he need someone to be with him be his wife not someone like me, he said we didnt have chemistry, and started to really hurt me emotionally.
He said “get out of my house” a couple times, but imagine the situation, i came from Brazil, I was alone there!!!!
Anyways it got really bad he said he was about to call the police if i didnt stop asking him to stop treating me like shit and just talk to me, then he didnt want to drive me to the airport so he called the uber. When the uber arrive he tried to take my bag and I just did the same as he and didnt let him touch me or mhy things.
When I leave he blocked me from EVERYWHERE, i tried to call and he blocked my number, blocked whatsapp and didnt answer my email.
I had the best and the worst weekend at same time and its been 2 weeks after that and Im still blocked… I just want him back to me he was a prince and then all this happened….
Its been 9 days NC rule but it dont know if it will work… and of course I did everything wrong and say that I love him and I miss him 🙁

help me please. by the way I tried to buy the book but I dont have credit card doesnt have a paypal type of billying?

HELP ME PLEASE

EBR Team Member: Amor

April 29, 2017 at 9:30 pm

are you improveing yourself now and being active in posting? If not, restart the count and do that even if you’re blocked. Just make the posts public.

Brittany

April 24, 2017 at 1:06 am

Hey!! I just had a question and i waw hoping you would answer it for me. For one, does the no contact rule work for someone who isnt your ex? Theres this guy i like and i told him i liked him and asked him if he liked me back and he responded with;”i think youre really cool and i catch vibes that i like you im just not looking for a relationship right now… not saying that i dont have feelings for you, i just dont want that for me right now. U feel me?” Is that him saying he really doesnt like me and dont want to hurt my feelings? And ive been doing the no contact rule with him and hes texted me a few times, but i havent caved in. Should i keep doing the nc?!? HELP ME!!! I HAVE NO CLUE WHAT I AM DOING!!! Thanks 🙂

EBR Team Member: Amor

April 29, 2017 at 8:06 pm

it’s not a guarantee but it can work, you can still try it. Check this one:
The Ungettable Girl

Gianne

April 23, 2017 at 2:59 am

I need your help EBR Team.We broke up last December and after the breakup because I’m became a gnatting person,I began to send many messages and such.So we talk daily,but not exactly like before.He became hot and cold towards me.He become cold whenever I’m kinda needy and emotional or whether he recalls some sad memories.So we continued it like that,but even after that,I handle it to the point that he’s kinda okay 🙂 so just my problem is that Cold treatment.Last Wed(April 19,2017)we had a fight due to some of my jealousy(I just couldn’t help it but I’m improving myself because I have too)and then last Thursday we didn’t talk at all,he ignore my message first when I ask him if we still okay to our date at the mall(I notice that because I also have access to his account as he did also to mine)(By the way ,because its summer vacation here in the Philippines we talk via FB messenger)Because usually whenever we talk to each other,when I’m gonna message him like 10:35 am,he’s usually gonna answer in 10:35 am too or 1 minute reply.I know that he reply to me(late message)saying that “I think that we can’t,we’re not okay””I’m giving you space”.So after that I message him saying to be “Behave,okay?”Then Friday,I began my no contact for a good reason(in order to improve myself and to give him time and space for him also)And then the 2nd day of my no contact he message me calling by my callsign,”Baby” “..”(usually to us whenever there’s a dot …. it means kinda sad or something that bothers him/me)and also he text my mom,”Is Gianne there?” and midnight he access to my account “Okay Mommy,No need to reply at all.” and I know for sure that he’s kinda cold .What should I do?I can control myself from not contacting him because I’m in the NC,but I’m kinda having a hard time because what if because of the NC,he began to be more cold and began to move on.Or he thinks that I don’t want him anymore(which is not true!).I’m having a hard time lf what he’s thinking about me to him.What should i do?I want to continue my NC,but he’s making my head mess up that I must contact him,that if i continue the NC,the result is the opposite which he thinks that I don’t want him anymore so he’s moving on.That I don’t love him.At this rate he always have the power 🙁 Help me pleaaaassseeeeeeeeeeeee.

EBR Team Member: Amor

April 25, 2017 at 3:26 pm

You’re already friendzoned..the only thing that can really help increase your chances is nc..and the only one that can help is yourself.. It would be better if he thinks you don’t want him..because that means you’re not chasing anymore

Kim

April 14, 2017 at 3:03 am

Hi, Thank for your advices I have just finished NC 30 days with my LDR ex. Our relationship broke up because he gave me some chances to do together in my country whereas I didnt cherish. He came back his country and he decided to focus on his career and splitted up with me. I am trying all my best to change my skills, my appearance and becomming a better gf. I really wanna see him but my budget is not enough for long time in his places. I am studying his country language and intend to apply a job in his city. I wonder I should start the first message to him only or go to see him and giving him a suprise? I dont wanna make him upset and depend on him when I go to see him, now I am not confident to success any interview so may be it will a short time.

EBR Team Member: Amor

April 16, 2017 at 7:59 am

Don’t go there yet.. that’s too much of an investment. That’s good that you’re willing to invest all the change, effort and money but take it slow.. A relationship takes two, invest what’s appropriate the right time.. You’re not together now, so, the proper way to build rapport is through messages.. Don’t apply or move to a foreign country just for him for now.. because you’re not even together.. What are you going to do if it doesn’t work out? And is he even willing to do the same investment as you are?

Vy

April 6, 2017 at 7:44 am

So here are what I’m afraid during my NC. My ex is super inactive on Facebook. I mean he’s only use Messenger, he rarely posts anything on his FB, he doesn’t even look at his ex’s posts (in my case, I have a feeling he’s still friend me, but unfollowed) so how am I going to show him my social life is getting better? And he’s so focus on his studies, daily sleep at 2AM and awake at 5 (that’s not good for his health at all). I’m afraid he won’t have time to think of our old memories. He also told me that he doesn’t like talking to me, told me to forget about him. He is so stubborn and cold! He seems to doesn’t care a tiny bit about me and our memories, that he has something to do with his life that he doesn’t remember his old life with me in it. He knows I loved him too much, he will put a defense to it making it hard for me to try getting back to him. I’m scare that the NC is worthless when he doesn’t even think of me. Moreover, he broke up with me due to his love wasn’t strong enough led to him falling out of love. So can I still get him back? Even if he get back, will his feeling for me grow stronger?

EBR Team Member: Amor

April 8, 2017 at 4:18 pm

if he knows how much you love him, he’ll get curious why you’re being silent and not chasing either now or during building rapport.. so continue improving and posting.. nc is for you to heal and improve..if it doesn’t work at least you have done what you can in the proper way.

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