What Your Ex Boyfriend Is Thinking During The No Contact Rule

546 thoughts on “Here’s Exactly What He’s Thinking During The No Contact Rule”

Esha

December 5, 2017 at 5:18 am

Hey .. Can you please help me out? Actually we had a breakup on 17th November .. He says because of his career he is breaking a contact with me and I keep on trying to get him back but he said no ! He unfollow me on insta and from the past 5 days I am having a no contact rule ! We are in a relationship from past 3 years ! Does he come back? What should i do please help me out

EBR Team Member: Amor

December 5, 2017 at 8:13 pm

Hi Esha,

check this one:
EBR 024: Using Social Media To Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back

BLONDIE

December 3, 2017 at 8:05 pm

I am going through no contact at the moment and chose to do the 45 days. However, we had agreed to take some time apart until he sorts a few family matters out that are in the way of us pursuing our relationship. He has been recently texting me saying he really misses me and if I’m home…I’ve been ignoring him. So today (day 30) he messages me saying I’m very inconsiderate for not responding since he was waiting outside my house for an hour but I chose to ignore him. So I replied to that message saying “hi” and “how are you” cuz I felt bad…but I unsent it after a few mins from sending it. What do I do to take my power back? Plssss help!!! I’m so confused!!!

EBR Team Member: Amor

December 5, 2017 at 1:55 am

just make the most of the following 15 days by being active in posting and don’t reply to him again if he initiates.

Cin

November 27, 2017 at 12:29 pm

Actually there’s no official breakup, he just stop contacting me. The last time i got his message was in the beginning of this month saying he is in the worst days of his life and the he is sorry and its not my fault. Today is day 13 of no contact. He removed instagram picture about me today but still keep the picture of us in facebook. I was shocked and doesn’t know what to do please do help me. We are in a relationship for one and a half year.

EBR Team Member: Amor

November 28, 2017 at 2:07 pm

Hi,
check this one:
EBR 048: My Ex Boyfriend Unfriended Me On Facebook…. What Does It Mean?

Jess

November 27, 2017 at 11:57 am

We’ve been dating for more than one year. And from august we are in a distance and he acted different. From late september we hardly contact. I begged him to contact me and called and send him several messages. He send me one message each on october and november. He told me that he had the worst days of his life and that its not my fault. I saw the no contact rule from your youtube channel. Today’s the 13 day of following the no contact rule. But today he removed the picture about us from his instagram profile. Now, i’m losing my hope. Please help me.

EBR Team Member: Amor

November 28, 2017 at 2:07 pm

Hi,
check this one:
EBR 048: My Ex Boyfriend Unfriended Me On Facebook…. What Does It Mean?

Chelsia

November 24, 2017 at 1:58 pm

I’m on day 15 of the no contact rule..I haven’t heard a word from my ex….feeling down about it not working. We’ve tried to make things work previously but our differences always get the best of us…first time we haven’t spoken in more than a week, and I’m worried he’s moved on.

EBR Team Member: Amor

November 24, 2017 at 5:00 pm

Hi Chelsia,

It’s ok if he doesn’t contact you during it.. You can initiate after.. What’s more important is that you’re actively improving yourself and in posting in social media

Kira

November 23, 2017 at 4:34 pm

My ex broke up with me exactly three weeks ago after a very short relationship of only one month. I know it’s really short, but it was an amazing time, we both were happy and loved each other a lot. So, we work at the same place and we both are really shy. We texted a lot, like many hours every day, but we didn’t talk really much and because we don’t live together, I only saw him at work. So our relationship was really distant. Now, when I look back, I have to admit that I made a lot of mistakes. My ex broke up with me because “he didn’t love me enough”. Now I know that this is because I didn’t appreciate him enough and I didn’t show him enough love, because I did actually ignore him when we were at work. Well, the breakup is pretty much because of me being too shy and insecure. The breakup came very unexpected, well it always does, but one day before he broke up, he cancelled a meeting with his best friend just to meet me and well, I was pretty happy about that… until the next day when he broke up. Right after the breakup I started NC, I didn’t beg him to take me back or do anything like that. It’s not possible for me to have absolutely no contact to him, because we work together, but I don’t text him and I ignore him at work. Now three weeks passed since I started NC and nothing’s happened yet. He didn’t text me, didn’t call me and didn’t talk to me. It’s like he completely doesn’t care about us having no contact to each other. I don’t know if he’s doing this on purpose to make me jealous, but I’ve seen him flirting with other woman a lot and I have to admit that this breaks my heart. But like two days ago, I saw my ex listening to some music and just sitting there crying. He knows I saw him, but I didn’t go ask him what was wrong, because, well, NC. I don’t know why he cried, maybe even because of the breakup? But generally, he seems really happy and not upset about the breakup at all. I hope he’s gonna text me one day, but I’m not sure if that’s gonna happen. Somehow I still think, somewhere deep inside me, that my ex does want me back. I don’t know, maybe everyone does that? But he still didn’t contact me, is that because he is just too stubborn to admit the breakup was a mistake or just because he doesn’t love me anymore? Should I text him first or wait until he finally texts me (what maybe isn’t even gonna happen)?

EBR Team Member: Amor

November 24, 2017 at 2:34 pm

Hi kira,

Check this one:
EBR 032: What To Do If You Work With Your Ex Boyfriend

Roxy

November 20, 2017 at 2:40 am

Hi ERB Team,
Thank you for your site. My boyfriend of 2 years recently broke up with me
3 days before I was moving in with him and a 2 weeks before going away with his family for the holidays. (a trip I was extremely excited about)
I don’t know what happen?! 2 seconds he was loving me and 2 seconds later he said it was over. He gave me a myriad of the following reasons: he is too stressed out by his job no time for a relationship, we are not in sync, we are not getting along. he is loves me but is no longer in love with me. He no longer wants a family with me. I was shocked. Blind-sided. I couldn’t understand. I still can’t. Dumbfounded. Besides myself with grief.
I pulled NC for one week but then broken down and left him a msg about wanting to talk. He vaguely responded. Then I pinned him down a week later to talk in person for ‘closure’ (so 2 weeks now) and he said even more horrible things. He said it was the small things he couldn’t get over. I was great girl blah blah blah. I asked him how he knew he wasn’t in love with me anymore – and he said he knew from the bottom of his gut. And he know he doesn’t want to spend the rest of his life with me. – BRUTAL. I didn’t beg him to come back. We just ended the conversation and I left feeling anger and confused. Although he acted really strange for someone I was with everyday of every week for 2 years. He treated me like he didn’t even know me. A stranger. Then he wanted to hug when we were leaving. I did because I just wanted to hold him one last time. Then it was over.
I have now started the NC rule again. So has he. What choice do I have except to move on?
Wondering if I am crazy to think this guy will come back to me?

EBR Team Member: Amor

November 21, 2017 at 7:49 pm

Hi Roxy,

The nc period is for you.. So that means if he contacts you during it, you cant reply.. Check this one:
How To Make It Through No Contact Period

Olivia

November 11, 2017 at 10:41 pm

My ex says that he is going to no contact but says that he still wants to keep snapchat with me. He also said that he will message me when he’s ready. I, too, went into no contact. I believe I threw him off when I broke our snapchat streak because he watched my story when he ignored it before. I also ignored his story. However, when the no contact period is over, should i contact him or actually wait for him to contact me? The reason why he broke up with me was that I was too dependent on him. Right now I am doing yoga and gymming again (when he told me to before). We broke up a few days ago and I’ve been in no contact for a few days.

EBR Team Member: Amor

November 12, 2017 at 8:23 pm

Hi Olivia,
you can initiate contact.

Samantha

November 4, 2017 at 2:28 pm

Hi
I have a boyfriend in a serious relationship for 3 years. I’ve been having a tough time with him lately and we decided to split up. He is giving me the silent treatment for almost 11 days now. He was actively posting his updates on his fb and whatsapp and now I have stopped using those two so he is less active at least on whatsapp. Shall I wait for him to come ? I am strictly following no contact rule and I think so is he. How to get him back cos I really want him. He has a lot of negative memories about me like I was a quarrelsome person and not someone who made him happy. Is he missing me at this point ?

EBR Team Member: Amor

November 5, 2017 at 6:44 am

Hi Samantha,

If he’s doing that no contact rule, that means he wants you back because the no contact rule means not initiating nor replying for a period of time while being active in improving yourself and in posting in social media and then initiating contact after nc, while you continue improving yourself and posting.

Shelly

November 1, 2017 at 4:43 pm

So my ex replied to my email saying he doesn’t want to think about us getting back together, that I should go and focus on myself. I emailed him saying that I’m going to assume that he’s going to contact me when he’s ready after some space. I told him not to reply if that’s what he’ll do and he hasn’t replied. Could it be that this is what he’s going to do or maybe he’s just ignoring me because it’s really over? He also told me not to message him again but he’s kept the necklace he got me so that must mean something? I’m finding the no contact rule really hard, I begged him and annoyed him post break up and made him decide not to be friends. He offered to still be there for me but after I kept annoying him he said I messed it up. I know I need to go into no contact, should I wait for him to get in touch and how much of a chance do you think I have of him coming back? We’ve broken up before and he’s come back after having some space so hopefully it’ll happen again. Thanks

EBR Team Member: Amor

November 1, 2017 at 8:04 pm

Hi,

Check this one:
You Desperately Begged For Him Back And Failed… I’m Here To Fix That

Stephanie

October 30, 2017 at 7:49 pm

Hi there,

So my ex and I were together for about 5 months. In those 5 months, we broke up once for about a week, his doing because he was freaking out about the future and what not. (He’s 4 years younger than me)
Well, we broke up at the beginning of August. I didn’t follow NC at all and kept in contact with him atleast once a week, and we were still friends on social media. I texted him at the beginning of September telling him I missed him, and of coarse I got ignored. I quit contacting him, and 12 days later he was contacting me, wanting to meet up. We did, talked, and agreed to take things slow. He talked about the future, said he was ready to do whatever it takes and take it day by day. Of coarse, I had my reservations, and made it clear what I was willing and what I wasn’t willing to deal with.
About two weeks later, he flipped a switch and said he was upset with himself, doesn’t know what he even wants, thinks were on different timelines (even though I told him I don’t even want marriage or kids right now), and just said he “doesn’t see it happening for us” but still loves me. I let him walk out the door without begging or pleading, and we ended up unfollowing each other from all social media (which is killing me). This happened on October 16, and the 20th was my birthday and I did get a happy birthday text. Other than that, there has been no contact what so ever. Thoughts? I’m having a hard time, but I know NC is my best bet if there is any chance because obviously before me badgering him weekly only pushed him farther.

EBR Team Member: Amor

November 1, 2017 at 4:44 pm

Hi Stephanie,
Are you active ib improving yourself and in posting? If not, do that and make your posts public

Nonsi

October 30, 2017 at 12:01 am

Oh okay but I am already doing the NC and left with a couple of weeks. I guess have to think about it
belle

October 29, 2017 at 12:25 am

My ex and I were together for 5 years, last 2 years is when it get really serious but he moved and we were doing the long distance things and all of sudden it got bad, he became distant and says I did not make him a priority that I should have moved and I should have I realize that. The day he broke up with me I was visiting and I did all of the beginning and pleading stuff. I apologized and did no contact for 2 days, met him one more time and told him I was sorry for not making him a priority and that I do love him. He said he needed time that he thought I would never move and now he thinks if I did it wouldn’t be the same. He broke up with me but said he needs time. I didn’t want to make him mad so I didn’t ask what needing time meant. I have done no contact, we are on week 3, nothing from at all. He checked my snap once and since then I have posted a few times, funny content and he stopped checking. We had a very loving and respectful relationship ,I hate that he thinks he wasn’t my priority. In the three weeks I have changed the one major thing that was keeping me from moving, I am working out, I am being productive and the person he would want to be around. But I still hurt so much, especially at night. Do I continue no contact, I think i actually need to do more then 30 days, maybe 35-40. Any device would be so wonderful.

EBR Team Member: Amor

October 31, 2017 at 7:55 pm

Hi Belle,

You can extend if you want.. Be active in sites where posts lasts.. But the same question could be asked to him, why didn’t he move instead?

Nonsi

October 25, 2017 at 7:16 pm

Hey need your help………..me and my ex where together for a year it was a long distance relationship we stay 4hrs away from each other, and we used to see each other every 6weeks, I always used to go down and see him. So last April we decided that he and his 2boys would come over for 10day over to my hometown. They arrived on Friday about 1am so it was off to bed, the next day we went food shopping and we meet up with a mutual friend at that point he informed me and he was off to have breakfast at our mutual friends and was taking the kids with him. I was left alone. He did call during his take with our mutual friend and he come home about 8pm.

The next day he did the same thing and the Monday, on the Tuesday he tells me we can spend time together but we need to keep it local as he promised our mutual friend he would drive him to the airport as he was traveling.

I was beyond upset at that point that we had a huge arguement. He apologized for his actions and we started over. I was upset because on the Friday to the Sunday there we functions that we had to attend so it ment we only had 3days which is not much when you’re in a London distance relationship.

Anyway I thought he understood and 2weeks after his visit we are talking on the phone and he then says to me that he and our mutual friend thought my behaviour was inappropriate, I asked him what he meant and hit a brick wall. I then asked him if he understood how what he had done effected our relationship he just said a first visit is not that important and besides it was a mutual friend.

That incident put so much pressure on our relationship. He showed no remorse but showed so much remorse when he missed my daughters birthday.

It come to a head and I broke up 2weeks and a bit ago because he still thought I was making a big thing out of nothing. I did say to him all I needed from him was reassurance when he got back to his hometown that he had make a mistake and was sorry and wanted to make it up but no.

As soon as we had that conversation I ended things and started the NC that’s on the Monday. On the Tuesday he called and texted pleading with me not to end things. He then texted on the Wednesday saying how much he loved been in a relationship with me and how he had tried to make me see how much he loved me but he did not know how to handle things, he called the Thursday and he has not called since, he just sends me words of encouragement each day. Am I or did I over reacted and have I lost him. We did have a fantastic relationship. Please help.

EBR Team Member: Amor

October 28, 2017 at 11:17 pm

Hi Nonsi,

Just ask for a few days to cool down and think.. If after that you still want to break up, then go ahead..

Pika

October 25, 2017 at 2:57 am

Hello. A couple weeks ago my ex unfriended me on fb becuz I was ignoring him during NC and refused to add him on Snapchat, which I downloaded after the breakup. His texts during NC and his attempt to get my attention through posts on fb were insignificant so I didn’t respond. Today is day 28 of nc. Prior to NC he stated how this breakup could be temporary and how he still wanted to remain in touch. Could the unfriending be a bad sign?

EBR Team Member: Amor

October 28, 2017 at 7:07 pm

Hi Pika,

No, he could only be trying to see if you would react

Teenaa

October 24, 2017 at 4:47 pm

Do sorry for the late response Amor I broke it of with him and we broke up on the 9 of October this year

EBR Team Member: Amor

October 24, 2017 at 6:29 pm

Yup finish nc and then initiate contact after it..

Aimee

October 23, 2017 at 6:36 pm

My Ex and I dated for 4 months before he broke it off stating that it was becoming too complicated and that he needed some time to decide what he wanted. We are both in our 40’s, divorced, with children. I respected that and while he did not set any time frames, I went into No Contact. Almost 7 weeks later he texts me, asking how I am and asking why I haven’t reached out to him. I told him that I was respecting his request for time and space. We had a few more casual exchanges and he then asked if we could continue the conversation tomorrow. I said Yes, and have not heard from him for several days. Do I go back to No Contact?

EBR Team Member: Amor

October 24, 2017 at 5:42 pm

Hi Aimee,

How active were you in improving yourself and in posting in social media during nc?

Aimee

October 23, 2017 at 3:41 pm

We dated for 4 months and then broke up when he felt things were getting complicated. He said he needed time to decide what he wanted. I respected that and went into No Contact. After 7 weeks he texted me, asking how I am doing and that he thought that he would’ve heard from me. I replied that I was respecting his need for time. We had a few more casual exchanges and he asked if we could continue this conversation the following day. I said yes but have not heard back from him several days later. Do I restart No Contact ?

EBR Team Member: Amor

October 24, 2017 at 5:42 pm

Hi Aimee,

How active were you in improving yourself and in posting in social media during nc?

Teenaa

October 19, 2017 at 3:18 pm

Hi well started my NC last Monday and it has been very hard. I thought it would be hard but not this hard, he sent me a texts on Wednesday and whatsup basically saying how much we he cherished our relationship and how he had tried to make things works and wished me all the best I did not reply. On Thursday I got a call went to voicemail and he left a message. But I have not heard from him since .

We broke up because of a disagreement he come to visit me but spent the whole time with a mutual friend so do I continue the NC or has he moved on .

EBR Team Member: Amor

October 23, 2017 at 12:20 pm

Hi tenaa,

Did you break up with him? And when did you break up?

Blaire

October 10, 2017 at 10:15 pm

Oh also, he kept saying he wants to be single, but I felt like there is still a chance for him to come back. Unfortunately, I broke the no contact rule, and I kinda made him feel like breaking up was a right decision…. At first I felt like he still misses me, but as we kept talking we forgot the time and then he had to wake up super early in the morning… I felt like this made him wanna be single even more….. While we were talking, he kept sending pictures of me…. WHAT IS HE THINKING????? If I stop talking to him, will he miss me more……

EBR Team Member: Amor

October 11, 2017 at 10:12 am

Hi Blaire,

Let’s say he did got tired or bored of the relationship.. Restart nc, be active in improving yourself and in posting

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546 thoughts on “Here’s Exactly What He’s Thinking During The No Contact Rule”