The Simple 2 Step Method To Get Your "Baby Daddy" Back

392 thoughts on “Here’s How To Get Your “Baby Daddy” Back”

Maria

May 6, 2018 at 6:26 pm

Hi I was in a relationship with my son’s father for 6 years, I found out that 3 of those years he was cheating with another girl and that he a may have fathered her daughter. We argued about it and I realized he was not leaving this girl so I left and ended up in a rebound relationship. I ended the rebound relationship and I started talking to my baby father. However he found out that the same girl is now pregnant again and this time he is positive that it is his child. I stopped talking to him but I can’t get him out of my mind because I love him so much. What should I do?

Chris Seiter

May 6, 2018 at 8:40 pm

Hi Maria. I think you should create some space, to the extent that is possible given he is the father to your son. A form of limited No Contact. But do this for yourself, so you can focus on your own self recovery and regain some perspective about what is important to you. It is not unusual for people to go through an addictive stage regarding their ex. There are chemical/hormones that essentially flood us with many competing thoughts. Consider picking up my ebook, “The No Contact Rule Book” as it is a comprehensive, terrific resource that will describe how the whole NC process works and provides a lot of self recovery tactics you can tap into. Also, you ought to consider joining my Private Facebook Support Community (about 1500 women in it now) in which there is a lot of synergy and people helping people. Just visit my website Menu/Products link to learn more!

Gabby

April 22, 2018 at 11:40 pm

Hello I was in a serious relationship with my ex we were together 3 years and have a 2 year old son together . I noticed he didn’t like when I said what time to be home . He broke up with me 3 months ago right after we broke up he says he loves me he wants to be with me soon and now today he switches up and said he only wants to worry about our son nothing else and maybe in the future we will be together . What does this mean should I just give up ?

Chris Seiter

April 23, 2018 at 12:19 am

Hi Gabby…3 years is a good amount of traction, so I certainly wouldn’t give up. But you can have your space and focus on those things that benefit you and your child Having a child in the picture should create a sense of responsibility on his end to make efforts to make things better. Its unclear what it all means as I don’t know enough bout your situation. Messages are conflicting from him. But as time goes by, he should get in touch with what he truly feels and wants and communicate with you clearly Going forward, focus on your needs and healing. IF you are looking for a blueprint to optimize your chances, all consider my ebook, Ex Boyfriend Recovery Pro which acts as breakup blueprint (available via website Menu/Products link).
Gabby

April 23, 2018 at 12:37 am

So if he’s saying maybe in the future does that mean a good or bad thing
Chris Seiter

April 23, 2018 at 5:25 am

Hi there…Yes, “maybe” means, “I don’t really want to talk about this right now, but I am still open”.

BellaB

March 26, 2018 at 12:48 am

Hello again
Well, we are about 2 months into building rapport and now i am backing off. At first it seemed that he was going to accept that we were not going to have sex any time soon after being on speaking terms again. I wanted him to focus on bonding with our daughter instead of having sex with me. He was helping out more as a father but it seemed like when he helped me out with anything at all, he was thinking we would have sex after. He started begging for sex which i refused. I told him i needed time, and i wanted his respect. He tried talking me into getting back with him/moving in but i refused. I know its too soon for that stuff. He insisted there had been no other women at all since he left me. I didnt respond to that. Im afraid hes putting on an act to get what he wants from me. Recently he became more affectionate. That wore me down a little. We messed around/made out a few times about a week ago but we didnt actually have sex. Hes gone cold now. Cranky and rude. So i ignored his txt yesterday. I video called him today so he could say hbd to our daughter. But we are not speaking again. We usually get together once a wk for his visits with the baby but i said no today because he was so rude to me a few days ago. Feels like hes trying to get in my pants more than co-parent. Any suggestions?

Chris Seiter

April 3, 2018 at 1:25 am

It’s pretty common for him to “try to get in your pants” rather than co parent. It’s a fine line. I never recommend sleeping with a man to get him back. What you can do is demand indirectly more investment out of him.

Lizzie

March 25, 2018 at 9:15 am

Hi, I’m going through this tough spot so my baby daddy & I were so happy since I found out I was pregnant but at around 6 months that all started to change (currently 6 months pregnant). He’s divorced with a kid but he never bothered to look or fight for her. I’m hoping with our baby it would be different like he promised. So we came on a trip to Mexico but since we got here to his hometown he started being indifferent & distant with me & I didn’t know what to do. Long story short, he told me he just wanted to be friends because he “wants to be single for a while” & I asked if he was gonna start dating before our child was born, I’m currently pregnant & I thought it was rude but he said no that was the last thing on his mind because I’m pregnant that he just wanted space. Things just got worse from there he wanted to send me back home, he said he was gonna stay involved with me but only about the baby. Every time I would ask him why did he change his mind so quickly if we were better than great he said it’s not you it’s me. I assume he needs time to reflect things over but I can tell he still has feelings for me even though he says he doesn’t. Anyways we currently live together & I just wanna know how to deal with this & how to get him back & work things out before the baby comes. Please help me out!

Chris Seiter

April 3, 2018 at 1:15 am

Ok, we see this a lot on our private facebook group.

What has gotten the best results has been finding a way to get him to move out or having you actually move out.

Amber Diaz

March 14, 2018 at 11:56 am

I was with my babydaddy for 2 years, we had a roller coaster relationship, that it tore us apart and we eneded up taking a break, it was his decision, well during the break he would kiss me and tell me he loves me, but when i would ask shen the break was over he would answer with “idk i need time, space and to think about stuff” so i left it, well after we talked about how we felt two days later i told him it was best to be single and he said to do what makes me haply so i did that, i didnt bother him like i would usually do, i would wait till he texted me about our dauggter amd that was the end of the convo, well he came to see his daughter today and he told me he misses me so much, and he misses everything, he told me he still loved me, and could keep his hamds away from me, he was just hugging me and everything, i gave in cause he cried and he keeps giving me mixed signals like he. Really showing he wants to be with me , he loves me, i can see it, he even said it would be good for the baby to see both her parents together sometimes while visiting and that we can still do stuff as a family, but he still says he not ready for a relationship, but he keeps showing me relationship signs he even called me babe, and i tild him this was the last time to do that and he said i know because if we keep doing this while we are single it wont help us move on and i told him “i agreed” but he keeps saying you never know we could get back together so idk he confusing me , he keeps showing me signs of having a relationship but says he’s not ready, so what does that mean ?

EBR Team Member: Amor

March 15, 2018 at 3:31 pm

Hi Amber,

How long have you been in a break and do you still have sex with him?

BellaRose

March 13, 2018 at 6:40 am

My baby dad and I were in such a great relationship , almost perfect. We found out I was pregnant and he was amazing for the first 6 months. Eventually my “hormones” became to much and we broke up. I broke up with him to be exact, but I want him back. He now wants to be single, doesn’t want a relationship and says he would have to ” want it ” to get back together. He says he likes to be able to do what he wants whenever he wants without someone nagging. We’ve been broken up for almost 3 months now and I’m due next month. He says he’ll be there for our son .. but I want him to be in a relationship with me too. Anyway I feel like he’s enjoying this freedom / party life so much that I don’t think he’ll come back. He tells me he isn’t moving on and for me not to move on because then he wouldn’t want anything to do with me unless it has to do with the baby. Is there any hope for me? I’ve been faithful and loyal still even after the break up. Please help I’m so depressed.
Nikki

February 20, 2018 at 10:02 pm

So I am in a really complicated situation with my Ex Boyfriend. We jumped into a relationship immediately after I got out of a bad relationship. I was depressed and he had liked me for so long that he didn’t care and wanted to help me. We rushed into dating and getting engaged right away. We have broken up 3 times as of now but I am pregnant. The first two times he left he used the reasoning that I was too emotionally unstable and he couldn’t be with me until I got help. I got the help I needed and he came back for about two months. Proposing to me again I asked him multiple times whether he truly wanted this. He claimed this is all he wanted, to be a family with me and this baby. He accompanied me to every doctor appointment and things were going well I thought. On Sunday, Feb 18, 2018, he left again. Saying our relationship had not gotten any better but also said I was progressing a lot. He told me he was depressed and finally took the ring off my finger and left. Since this was the 3rd time hes left, I told him that this was it. No more playing these games. I then asked him if he really wanted our baby to be raised in and out of court and have a very confusing life. He said there was no other way. I let him walk away. I have not reached out since and I am so confused and I need help. He stopped following me on all forms of social media and has not reached out to me. I am too hurt to reach out and I really do not think he will reach out first. What should I do? Should I move on? Should I stop inviting him to all the appointments and just raise this baby on my own until he proves he can be a dad and not run away? The really sucky thing is that my biological father did this to me when I was a baby and I spent the most of my childhood wondering why my dad didn’t love me. He is doing the same thing. If you can give me some advice I would really appreciate it. Everyone in my life hates him now so they cannot be objective.

EBR Team Member: Amor

February 21, 2018 at 12:24 pm

HI Nikki,

you can follow the advice above and check this one too:
How To Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back If You Are Pregnant

BellaB

February 1, 2018 at 9:22 am

I was advised by my attorney to set a visitation date for my ex with our daughter a few days ago. It went well but my ex suddenly got very handsy. It caught me off guard I thought he was moving in for a friendly hug that I was ready to reciprocate. Instead he started trying to feel on my butt. I pushed him away and said No way, I figured it was a bit much for our first meet up. I didn’t want to seem like a skank letting him feel all up on me so soon. And i refuse tonsetrle for a friends with benefits thing. Also, I want to convey the fact that I want respect now. I feel cheated out of that from our last relationship. He tried touching it two more times before the visit was over. Playfully but still I wasn’t amused. Again I pushed his hands away. The next day we met up for his payment and half an hr into out meet up he got touchy again. Overly sexual. I almost compromised myself and gave in. Instead I said “look if that’s what you want from me, you’ll have to make a lot more effort.” He backed off and few mins later subtly asked me if I still wanted him. I didn’t respond because I wasn’t sure how to. Later on that night I texted don’t take this the wrong way but I’m not your property and I don’t owe you sex, I deserve effort, love, respect. I want to set an example for our daughter.”
He didn’t reply but now when we txt he seems to be coming at me a lot more seriously. Nicer maybe. He is doing everything he can to help with our baby now. He sent me a txt recently “I will always be there when you need me”. I’m not sure what to make of that. Any input on what’s going on now? Where i should go from here?

EBR Team Member: Amor

February 7, 2018 at 11:43 am

well, that’s a good outcome.. Some men get angry and controlling after hearing your standards but it looks like he respects your.. That’s very good. It will be easier for you to build rapport slowly.

Becky

January 26, 2018 at 12:11 am

I’ve been with my child’s father for 14 years off and on. When things get rough and he’s afeaid I’ll hurt him he takes off. He always says it’s the last time and that he’ll never be with me again but then he’ll ask me to come over, we sleep together, and gradually we end up being together all the time. This has happened multiple times. He left again in November because we were in a fight and he said we weren’t together, so I had seen an ex at the bar (who he hates) and had a drink with him. He seen us there and lost it. He asked me to marry him, be together, that he loved me and wanted me in his life forever. A week later he said he was done and didn’t even like me and that I annoyed him. He’s asked me to come over a couple times since and I did but then I found out he was talking to a girl from his work (they both claim they are strictly friends and that is it) and I was mad and freaked out. Now he goes back and forth and says we’ll never be together or ever talk again and then he changes it and says maybe we can be friends in a couple months and the next day he says we could never be friends, he misses me, but we aren’t compatible and doesn’t want to be friends or ever together again. He’s really wishy washy on everything he says and we have went through a million things together in our relantionship. Is there a chance he’ll come back? And what do I do to want him to come back?

EBR Team Member: Amor

January 29, 2018 at 11:25 am

Hi Becky,

aside from the advice above check this ones too:

How To Get An On Again/Off Again Boyfriend Back

This Is How To Make Him Trust You Again

BellaB

January 17, 2018 at 6:59 am

Well after that new yrs txt I ended the convo. A wk later I get When can I see you to give you money for the baby? & When can I see you? TXt I waited about 5 hrs to respond saying I think it would be best to let the courts arrange visits & payments now. He agreed but was curious as to why i didnt just invite him over. He then asked about baby’s teething /Baby pics but then said again when can i see you to give you money for the baby. So I haven’t agreed to any meetups until the court date which should be soon. Are these I miss you txt frm him or administrative txt?

EBR Team Member: Amor

January 18, 2018 at 7:43 am

Hi Bella B,

if he keeps asking that in the next days, it does look like he misses you but again, don’t rush things.. That’s your chance to show that you’re not easily swayed.. So, stick to saying that it would be better to wait for what the court will say.

Carolina

January 7, 2018 at 3:02 pm

Hi Chris

I was never in a relationship with my baby daddy but we have history as in we have been friends for 14 years in between those years we would come in and out of each other’s lives. It would just be casual sex between us every time we saw each other we never ask questions about our personal lives.

We have a four-month-old boy but during my pregnancy he was never involved he would call me once a month maybe skip a month or two but I never took the initiative to call him because I had no reason to practically I did everything myself which I don’t mind because I always vision myself being a single mother. One thing for sure though is that I never doubted him that he would come into his sons life once he was born.

What throws me off the most is that we talk to each other every day even if it is for 30 minutes and hour or two and we just talk about what’s going on in our lives him mostly about work I don’t mind it I like hearing about his work just like I’d just like I like to think he likes to hear about mine. I’ve always had feelings for him but I’ve for a long time now have put them aside obviously for our child I’m pretty sure he knows that I feel something for him or that I’ve always felt something for him but we don’t get into that. I guess what I’m trying to write is do you think down the road he would come around someday in life to feel the same way I do about him in some sense because we get along so well. My mind and heart tell me two different things but I go with what my mind tells me it’s more realistic. I don’t even call him but I do send him pictures of his son daily he’s the one that calls me every day and when he doesn’t he apologizes I personally don’t expect much of him because I never did during my pregnancy I was fine with that I didn’t want to see myself as those women that cry and put themselves down because the baby daddy is not involved I was quite the opposite I had to be . When I told him I was pregnant his words were “it’s selfish to bring up a child without a father” I lived by those words every day while I was pregnant and in a way I still do just to make sure that I shouldn’t expect much of him. His sister is my longest friend and sometime she tells me what’s wrong with you guys and you guys have a relationship but in opinion we have a relationship as quick as coparents. i’m also happy with that.

EBR Team Member: Amor

January 9, 2018 at 9:08 pm

HI Caroline,

Congratulations on your baby! Ok, I’m going to be frank. You’ve let him treat you in a way that lessens your value in his eyes.. You let him think it’s ok to sleep with you even if you’re not together, it’s ok for him to talk to you like he doesn’t know what you feel about him and if he doesn’t know it, you’re allowing yourself to continually let him hurt you by continuing to hope that he’s going to change his feelings.

It’s been how long since you have been fwb, and you even got pregnant but it didn’t change right? I’m not saying it’s not ever going to change, but you’re not doing anything different too, so, how would the situation change right?

You have to respect yourself first, whatever or however other people treat you, because if you don’t respect yourself, then other people definitely won’t too.

It looks like he’s willing to be a father but that doesn’t mean he wants to be your partner in life.

Start with going to therapy. Get professional help first because I’m assuming you might be going into post partum or not, but it’s definitely emotionally tiring taking care of a child.

Love yourself first. Set up your life in a way that you’re just co-parenting with him.. When you reach the point that you still have feelings for him but know you can carry on life with him just being the father of your child even if it hurts, then slowly start building rapport and attraction again. And don’t sleep with him again if you’re not officially together.

Caroline

January 7, 2018 at 10:34 am

Hi Chris

I was never in a relationship with my baby daddy but we have history as in we have been friends for 14 years in between those years we would come in and out of each other’s lives. It would just be casual sex between us every time we saw each other we never ask questions about our personal lives.

We have a four-month-old boy but during my pregnancy he was never involved he would call me once a month maybe skip a month or two but I never took the initiative to call him because I had no reason to practically I did everything myself which I don’t mind because I always vision myself being a single mother. One thing for sure though is that I never doubted him that he would come into his sons life once he was born.

What throws me off the most is that we talk to each other every day even if it is for 30 minutes and hour or two and we just talk about what’s going on in our lives him mostly about work I don’t mind it I like hearing about his work just like I’d just like I like to think he likes to hear about mine. I’ve always had feelings for him but I’ve for a long time now have put them aside obviously for our child I’m pretty sure he knows that I feel something for him or that I’ve always felt something for him but we don’t get into that. I guess what I’m trying to write is do you think down the road he would come around someday in life to feel the same way I do about him in some sense because we get along so well. My mind and heart tell me two different things but I go with what my mind tells me it’s more realistic. I don’t even call him but I do send him pictures of his son daily he’s the one that calls me every day and when he doesn’t he apologizes I personally don’t expect much of him because I never did during my pregnancy I was fine with that I didn’t want to see myself as those women that cry and put themselves down because the baby daddy is not involved I was quite the opposite I had to be . When I told him I was pregnant his words were “it’s selfish to bring up a child without a father” I lived by those words every day while I was pregnant and in a way I still do just to make sure that I shouldn’t expect much of him. His sister is my longest friend and sometime she tells me what’s wrong with you guys and you guys have a relationship but in opinion we have a relationship as quick as coparents. i’m also happy with that.
Caroline

January 7, 2018 at 10:33 am

I was never in a relationship with my baby daddy but we have history as in we have been friends for 14 years in between those years we would come in and out of each other’s lives. It would just be casual sex between us every time we saw each other we never ask questions about our personal lives.

We have a four-month-old boy but during my pregnancy he was never involved he would call me once a month maybe skip a month or two but I never took the initiative to call him because I had no reason to practically I did everything myself which I don’t mind because I always vision myself being a single mother. One thing for sure though is that I never doubted him that he would come into his sons life once he was born.

What throws me off the most is that we talk to each other every day even if it is for 30 minutes and hour or two and we just talk about what’s going on in our lives him mostly about work I don’t mind it I like hearing about his work just like I’d just like I like to think he likes to hear about mine. I’ve always had feelings for him but I’ve for a long time now have put them aside obviously for our child I’m pretty sure he knows that I feel something for him or that I’ve always felt something for him but we don’t get into that. I guess what I’m trying to write is do you think down the road he would come around someday in life to feel the same way I do about him in some sense because we get along so well. My mind and heart tell me two different things but I go with what my mind tells me it’s more realistic. I don’t even call him but I do send him pictures of his son daily he’s the one that calls me every day and when he doesn’t he apologizes I personally don’t expect much of him because I never did during my pregnancy I was fine with that I didn’t want to see myself as those women that cry and put themselves down because the baby daddy is not involved I was quite the opposite I had to be . When I told him I was pregnant his words were “it’s selfish to bring up a child without a father” I lived by those words every day while I was pregnant and in a way I still do just to make sure that I shouldn’t expect much of him. His sister is my longest friend and sometime she tells me what’s wrong with you guys and you guys have a relationship but in opinion we have a relationship as quick as coparents. i’m also happy with that.
BellaB

January 7, 2018 at 6:54 am

I thought maybe my response was wrong. And he had never said anything that polite to me since the baby had been born. Bute he has not said anything g since so I’m back in NC. I doknt k ow what else to say to him. And I figure we can communicate through the courts for now. He doesn’t seem to feel any remorse for walking out on us. Doesn’t seem like he wants to see our daughter very much either. Any advice ?

EBR Team Member: Amor

January 9, 2018 at 8:47 pm

Yeah, I think that’s the better option to communicate with him for now.. just be civil and indifferent.

BellaB

January 4, 2018 at 12:20 pm

Hello again i posted not long ago when i had decided to move on or move on w/out moving on. My baby daddy had not initiated contact in the 4 mos since he’d left. I reached out twice by txt after nc in Nov and got no response. So I stopped. On new yrs eve I get a txt “I wnt to see my daughter” we speak different languages so we rely on txt. The next day I responded. You want to see her but you do not take care of her. he responded just tell me wht time and where . He doesn’t know where I moved and I don’t want to tell him. I didn’t know what else to say so I didn’t respond. I sent him a an old pic of him & our daughter& then a recent pic of her. then he thanked me for taking care of her. I am confused now. Did I do something wrong?

EBR Team Member: Amor

January 5, 2018 at 11:08 pm

Hi Bella B,

why did you think you did something wrong? Because he thanked you? Maybe because he can see the baby is healthy in the picture so, he’s thanking you.

angel

December 17, 2017 at 5:45 pm

Hi my baby dady and i we had fight while i was pregnant…the cause of the fight is me bcos i told another guy that the child was his…and now he rejected the baby and he left us …now he have a new gitlfriend but i still want him back..he said he doesnt want anything to do with me

EBR Team Member: Amor

December 20, 2017 at 7:00 pm

Hi Angel,

have you proven to him that it’s really his?

Jacqueline M

December 15, 2017 at 7:07 pm

Hi amor

I have a 1 year old with my ex who also has another 1 year old with his ex such a complicated situation. When we started dating he was single and when I was 6 months pregnant I found out his ex was 5 months pregnant. Anyways long story short he’s had the bad habit of coming back and forth with me and his other babymother. I feel like in the past I didn’t handle some situation like I would’ve done now because of my over heated head and heartache. We only talk and communicate strictly about the baby because we are going thru court and he admitted to trying to work things out with his other babymother but also tells me that when we are together after a while not really seeing each other and speaking that he misses me and to be completely honest in the past 3 months I failed twice in the sense that I let my emotions take over and I slept with him knowing everything that’s going on and him admitting to trying to work things out with his other baby mother. Do you think I have a chance on getting him back and making it work? Or am I really stupidly in love and should just move on?

EBR Team Member: Amor

December 18, 2017 at 5:44 pm

Hi Jacqueline,

If he’s also trying to work things out with the other girl, if I were you, I would move on..

BellaB

December 6, 2017 at 3:11 am

I totally understand that. However his anger toward me & his personal issues shouldn’t be an excuse not to help me support his baby. The deadbeat dad behavior is a huge turn off. I am taking Chris’s advice and moving on.

EBR Team Member: Amor

December 10, 2017 at 4:44 pm

Ok Bella, we understand and I’m proud of you of your decision

BellaB

December 4, 2017 at 6:41 am

hello Amor
I listened to the podcast you recommended and i figured I’d stay in NC from here on out. I I have reached out to him twice text since NC ended and got no response either time. He no longer asks about our baby or offers any financial help at all. Ive seen him twice since the end of NC. Once at the courthouse where here behaved extremely civil toward me. As soon as he saw our daughter and I at the courthouse he ran straight over to us and I almost thought he was going to kiss me. He backed off and I pretended not to notice. He couldnt wait to take our daughter put of the stroller to hug and kiss her. He spoke to me respectfully, not like someone that he despised. I was shocked. But i behaved civil toward him. Neutral and unbothered as i always do. I dont know if he was putting on a show in the courthouse but he was suddenly rid of his horrible attitude toward me. A few days later i ran into him at the paternity test office, although he was scheduled to be there before me. He seemed back to his old self. Angry with me. He shot me a cold disapproving glance and ignored me so I ignored him. I didnt want to attempt to speak to him with his old weird negative attitude. Again he couldnt wait to hold our baby. He did not want to put her down to get swabbed for the test. The office had to tell him to leave. He waited for us outside to pick our daughter up again before I left. After receiving confirmation that hes indeed the father, he still hasnt reached out to me or offered any help, much less showed any concern for our baby . Yet when he runs into me hes this “loving father” for 5 minutes. I am continuing with my self improvement. I post publicly eventhough he blocked me. Went on a few dates. At 8 mos post partum I am in better shape than I was before I conceived. And my daughter is doing well. I am however weary of his strange behavior. So Im guessing NC is best. A few friends of mine said they’d seen him these past few mos at my old club. Looking burnt out, depressed, angry. Drinking alone. Not trying to pick up girls. Just there. However, he has not expressed any remorse or anything at all to me. So i assume his behavior has nothing to do with me. Am I missing something here? Anything else i should be doing to cope?

EBR Team Member: Amor

December 5, 2017 at 4:16 pm

He probably behaved like that because he was in a courthouse and he was going to see his daughter..and also, he may be angry at you but that doesn’t mean he will be with his child too..

Regan

November 26, 2017 at 6:05 am

Hi,
Just wondering if this at all applies if i am the one who started an argument which resulted in him leaving — didn’t want a pet and he did and went and got one without consulting with me. He said some pretty harsh things to me, and took the animal and left. Wouldn’t it make more sense for me to apologize?

EBR Team Member: Amor

November 28, 2017 at 1:57 am

Hi Regan,

yeah, try to apologize first.. the question is, are you going to accept the pet?

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