The Simple 2 Step Method To Get Your "Baby Daddy" Back

392 thoughts on “Here’s How To Get Your “Baby Daddy” Back”

BellaB

November 22, 2017 at 10:46 am

Hi Amor
i can see my post here now
sorry about the multiple posts
after 2yrs i dont know exactly why hes so angry at me.
when we met i was working in a club and a few of his friends were interested in me. so for a long time hed insist i was interested in them. i was not. i thought maybe thats why he was so angry at me. he would tell me to bring girls from my club home for him. id refuse and he would laugh. i never knew how serious he was about that but it hurt me. hed reject me out of nowhere without explanation. me working in the club caused tension so i went back to regular jobs. he would still get angry & insist i didnt really love him. i told him that i didnt want him to stay in contact with any girls from the club that i left. no facebook contact with them…nothing. hed claim i was being ridiculous and controlling but it made me uncomfortable because when we met hed say if i left him hed replace me with one of them. so on and off, hed reject me & then take me back. a pattern. when i got pregnant he was happy but he wasnt. the rejection pattern continued throughout my pregnancy. when our daughter was born he insisted he wanted to be a family. but after a few months i could feel him pulling away. i did what i could to hold us together but i could sense the rejection coming. again i told him to cut off contact with the girls from my old club. he ignored me. he kept saying hed leave because i didnt trust or appreciate him. he got angrier. and i continued to beg him to let the past go just as i did. for our family’s sake. he got angrier. he started to ignore me and our daughter more. then one day he got mad about something menial and started yelling at me. im sure he picked a fight. he left us, angry, and said it was all my fault.

EBR Team Member: Amor

November 24, 2017 at 3:58 am

It looks like his anger to you is just an excuse so he can keep doing whatever he’s doing.. Check this one:
EBR 056: My Ex Boyfriend Cheated On Me Multiple Times… What Do I Do?

BellaB

November 10, 2017 at 3:49 am

ive posted several times but my posts seem to always disappear. my ex bf of 2 yrs left our baby daughter & I 3 months ago. we had trust issues because we met when i worked at a club. he would come around when he wanted to see our daughter for 10 minutes at a time. he was mean to me, wouldnt leave much money for the baby before hed take off for another few days. i got tired of this and filed child support. NC for 38 days. i saw him at my old club a few weeks ago. but i ignored him . i still want him back. is there anything i can do?

EBR Team Member: Amor

November 13, 2017 at 12:27 am

Hi Bella,

I answered your previous comment in another blog post.. I’m only wondering why is he angry?

Shelly

October 13, 2017 at 2:29 am

My Ex & I always had problems & he was always mean to me. When I got pregnant he was great but had his off days. After I had my baby he went back to being terrible. He was mean to me in public & would walk out if we argued & would leave for a day then a few days but he would stop by to visit his son after work but left to go back to his parents. Days turned into weeks & eventually a month or longer. Now he’s gone after a huge fight. His mother has been so mean to me even getting in my face in my home with my baby in the same room & he said nothing to her. I think he has other things going on but he is convinced I’m the problem when I’ve done everything to fix things with everyone. We are going to court at some point but he’s playing games & always tries to use our child to get to me. He wants to visit whenever he wants but weekends he’s always a jerk & takes off fast. If I don’t let him come by he says I’m keeping him from his kid so when I say he can he comes & is a jerk sometimes. I wish things would change & he would wake up & realize what he’s doing & losing but he seems to think it’s a joke & laughs at things that have happened. I ignored him for a few days & he flipped out. I want him to be the one upset about what he’s losing & I can’t seem to get that to happen. He acts mean rude heartless & lies about everything. He denies everything he does after he does it & refuses to admit he does anything wrong or apologize. He only cares about taking our child to his mother because she doesn’t want me around when she sees my son. Very odd & uncomfortable. He sees nothing wrong with it & refuses to realize she’s a huge problem & he is too. I want him to be the one upset about what he’s losing because I did nothing wrong & he will not admit he screwed up. I need help

EBR Team Member: Amor

October 13, 2017 at 7:04 pm

Hi Shelly,

You can’t control other people.. That’s why you need to have standards..The more you want them to change for you, the more you’re giving power over to them.. Let him be a father to your child but stop expecting him to change..Move on.. Focus in yourself and in your life on how you can improve yourself for your child and mostly for yourself…

Innocentia

October 12, 2017 at 6:51 pm

Hi
My baby daddy and I ddnt real break up because nobody told the other that its over but he is ignoring me and wants nothing to do with me. Am currently pregnant for his baby but he never care about me or the baby. The most painful thing is that we planned having the baby together but now he doesn’t want anything to with me. He once told me we should take a break and I was fine with that but the I saw him with the girl she cheating with and that’s when I commited suicide and he hates me for that. And because his family now knows about the pregnancy they told him to take care of me and he must marry me but he told me that he feel like he’s forced to do things so he’s not freely in loving me. I dnt know what to do I really love the guy and I really need him in my life

EBR Team Member: Amor

October 13, 2017 at 5:32 pm

Hi Innocentia,

You have to get professional help. DONT commit suicide again. Get a counselor or therapist for yourself and your baby.

Anna

August 10, 2017 at 5:44 pm

I broke up with my ex-boyfriend for 3rd time .Because his brother attempted to rape me.And his brother wants to prove me characterless in front of my ex-boyfriend. Because his brother wants me but I am not interested in him.And I didn’t said anything about this to my ex-boyfriend And everytime I broke up with him I had NC.And when I texted him for apologies he texted me back as if he don’t know anything about break up.And I was busy in getting admission so I was unable to have proper conversation with him after that because i replied to him that I will talk later.And now when my no contact of 58days is over I texted him and he not replying and he has removed me from his whatsaap so that I can’t see his status and last seen.He is ignoring my text …But I wanna thank you because everytime I have bad moments in my relationship you are always there to help me..And it really works.May God bless you.

EBR Team Member: Amor

August 11, 2017 at 2:00 pm

the first right step, is to tell him and to tell your parents what he’s brother tried to do to you. Do that first.

Emma

August 10, 2017 at 5:41 pm

I broke up with my ex-boyfriend for 3rd time .Because his brother attempted to rape me.And his brother wants to prove me characterless in front of my ex-boyfriend. Because his brother wants me but I am not interested in him.And I didn’t said anything about this to my ex-boyfriend And everytime I broke up with him I had NC.And when I texted him for apologies he texted me back as if he don’t know anything about break up.And I was busy in getting admission so I was unable to have proper conversation with him after that because i replied to him that I will talk later.And now when my no contact of 58days is over I texted him and he not replying and he has removed me from his whatsaap so that I can’t see his status and last seen.He is ignoring my text …But I wanna thank you because everytime I have bad moments in my relationship you are always there to help me..And it really works.May God bless you.

EBR Team Member: Amor

August 11, 2017 at 2:00 pm

the first right step, is to tell him and to tell your parents what he’s brother tried to do to you. Do that first.

Monique

July 30, 2017 at 3:02 pm

My bf and I were together for 3yearsn we have a 5 month old daughter together. So after the baby we started arguing over stupid things he would call me a liar because I would lie out of fear when dealing with male confrontation and I was trying to change that because I wanted him to take me seriously and consider fixing things . He claimed to be emotionally detached from me. It got to the point where he wanted the baby and I to move back to our home town where both of our families are states away. He tried to say he loves me but somewhere he started to fall out of love and didn’t see forever with me anymore that we weren’t connected. Just two months before this we were looking at engagement rings. We decided because I didn’t want to fly by myself we would fly up together for the holidays and he would fly back by himself. This whole time he’s been cold and saying things throug anger to hurt me. So I found a way to leave next month instead of 4 months later. Now he’s making it seem like it was my decision to leave with her and that he didn’t say all those things to drive me away that I misheard him. I want him to realize what a mistake this all is and for him to come back. Idk what to do.

EBR Team Member: Amor

July 31, 2017 at 3:32 pm

Hi Monique,

Follow the advice in the article below while you still live together and then continue nc and follow the advice above when you have moved out..
EBR 027: What To Do If You Live With Your Ex Boyfriend

Monique

July 5, 2017 at 4:13 pm

How can I do the nc rule if we live together and I’m a stay at home mom, we decided to start our friendship up to make our relationship better but that was before I stumbled across this article. Now I’m not sure if that was the right thing to do

EBR Team Member: Amor

July 5, 2017 at 6:38 pm

Hi Monique,
Check this one:
EBR 027: What To Do If You Live With Your Ex Boyfriend

Monique

July 5, 2017 at 4:11 pm

How can I do the nc rule if we live together and I’m a stay at home mom

EBR Team Member: Amor

July 5, 2017 at 6:37 pm

Hi Monique,
Check this one:
EBR 027: What To Do If You Live With Your Ex Boyfriend

Gloria

June 18, 2017 at 4:03 pm

I had left to Georgia to help out my father since he was ill. I came back 3 weeks later and my boyfriend (the babies dad) change all of a suddenly. He said he still wants to do his own things but without me. He said he wants to be there for the baby appointments should I include him or keep going with the no contact rule?

EBR Team Member: Amor

June 21, 2017 at 3:15 pm

you can include him, just only make it about that.

Ashley

June 7, 2017 at 10:47 pm

Me and my ex of 4 years just split up 15 days ago, we have a 3 year old. And he’s already in a rebound w/ some not so classy girl. (All signs point to rebound). I was totally begging and crying and being that emotional pathetic girl. Is it too late to use this to possibly go on the right path to us being a family again? or is it too late with the no contact?

EBR Team Member: Amor

June 10, 2017 at 6:48 pm

Hi Ashley,

it’s not yet too late but just to clarify, nc is to help leverage your chances, it’s not a guarantee to get him back

Amanda Ortiz

June 6, 2017 at 8:36 am

Hi my son’s father and i have been together short 3 years. We both have done the cheating and lying but now since we have a baby we’ve tried being a family. It doesnt necessarily work my son’s father still wants to put his friends first and not come home till late hes always quiting jobs getting another one. We have a custody order which 3 days he gets our son and alternating falling week he gets our son for 4 days. As much as i want him back I’m really concerned about my son in the 3 days he goes with his father he’s unstable, smokes, drinks, and just is real unfit father. Makes me question if hes even worth trying to get back.
Karen

April 26, 2017 at 5:05 am

Hi
My ex and I were together 10yrs married for 4. He left 3 months ago when I was 6 months pregnant with our second child. He says he hasn’t loved me in years, shouldn’t have married me etc. he says he hasn’t left me for someone else but he wants to be with someone like a woman that he works with and he was hiding texts and calls from her. I convinced him to come see a marriage counsellor, he agreed to 3 months only but the counsellor called it off after about 4 sessions as she did not believe he was interested in trying. I still want him back, he is my family and I’m depressed that he is not able to share all the newborn experiences with me. He is interested in being a father but I feel like he would rather avoid me than see our baby.
I have done just about everything wrong as I have been overly emotional and desperate.
Is there any hope

EBR Team Member: Amor

April 29, 2017 at 10:11 pm

Try the advice above first, if it doesn’t work, then move on.

Jennifer

March 9, 2017 at 7:24 pm

I am currently co-parenting with a man I consider my best friend. He is an excellent father and still we have a great friendship. He is seeing multiple other women, one more than the others. They are all single moms. He never has much contact with the children, if any. I told him I know it’s easier with these other women because it’s just fun: party, drink, have sex, no strings and no drama. With me, it’s now daycare, potty training, tantrums, bed time, real life. He says we are never getting married and that marriage won’t solve anything. Should I even try the 30 days or just move on?

EBR Team Member: Amor

March 10, 2017 at 7:14 am

Hi Jennifer,

try it first, if it doesn’t work out, move on..Check this one too:
Get Your Boyfriend Back If You Have A Child Together

Sam

March 8, 2017 at 8:23 am

Hi
I got my husband back but 5 weeks in he still not got all his stuff from the ow. He says it’s done but now has become distant. He says he thinks he needs time on his own and I don’t let up on harassing him of where he going and why has he not got his stuff or put his wedding ring back on. He says he needs to find himself as he is not the man I knew after 2 yrs with another woman. He has come back 9 times each time gone back to her. He says my fault he strayed after 27yrs as I wasn’t there for him and she listened when he was down. I don’t know what to do. I don’t want him to go and want to try but he says he doesn’t know what he wants from life and not sure about divorce. What do I do now.

Sam

March 8, 2017 at 8:44 am

He says it not a physical attraction with the ow but emotional and not going back to her although a physical relationship was obviously there. Says hurts it ended with her as 2 yrs with her on and off and ended over me but he wasn’t happy with her he says.
EBR Team Member: Amor

March 10, 2017 at 1:29 pm

Hi Sam,

do you want to try the no contact rule? If you did, how long did you do it and how active were you during and after it? It also looks like after you got him back, you went back to the old you that he left..

Shelly

February 17, 2017 at 11:47 pm

Me and my ex have been apart for 5 years we where married we have a child he is with someone else they have a child but aren’t married… she has caused a lot of problems and doesn’t want him seeing our child at all. Our split was due to many things. I made a lot of mistakes but have owned up to them recently he got in touch with me then stopped then I saw him in person and we talked for the first time in forever he acts hot then cold but still I have no phone number for him. He made sure I new they aren’t getting married is this hopeless for us?

EBR Team Member: Amor

February 20, 2017 at 10:37 am

hi Shelly,

honestly, if he’s not going to make an effort for his child, it’s a small chance that he would go back to you

Annjerica

February 6, 2017 at 7:46 pm

Okay so I was with my son’s father for almost 2 years now we were doing great until his sister called him for protection cause someone was trying to break into their home and the longer he stayed there the more he started changing cause of who he hangs around there, a couple weeks paseed and he messages me saying to come get him but I have no transportation and I asked his brother to get him and we were doing good still but on edge then a few days of being there his sister in law claims that he has been video chatting with another girl I found out that she is 7 years younger than him. So a week passes while he is there he asks if he can spend some time with his son without me and I let him thinking maybe this is the time he needs with our son then the next day for no reason he just ends it over fb messenger and tells me not to go there he then blocks me for about a day or 2 and I have to communicate thru his sister in law and that time my son was sick and had to go to the hospital I tried to be more independent but also being pregnant with his other child was hard and going thru this break up killed me inside , he then decided to unblock me and send me pics and videos of our son so then a week passes and she apparently thinks they’re official he comes to see me to get him and his sons clothes cause they ran out of things to wear (and sorry if too much tmi) we ended up doing the deed then he goes gives me a hug and he ends up for getting something else and comes inside the house again only for him to give me a kiss at the door and saying I love you , the next day he comes to get our car to fix it with his uncle and later that night I find out from his cousin he’s at her house with our son and I’m crushed idk if I should tell her he’s already done the deed with me and I’m 3 and a half months pregnant with his baby or not he’s told me that if he does get involved with someone again it’s only temporary anyway since he has done this once before but this time he has our son with him.

Annjerica

February 25, 2017 at 6:23 pm

So I have been doing the minimal contact rule, I have my son back since recently he was locked up cause of a warrant but now he’s threatening me and accusing me of being with his cousin saying I’ve been unloyal and trash I’ve known his cousin for years before I met him and I treat him like family I don’t want my son around his father when he’s been harsh like that either I believe he’s been on drugs again like he was before and does all the exact things his so called rebound hates but she’s to clingy and obsessed with him to even notice he use to be the type of guy that would make his family his first priority now his priority is another female I want him back but also back to the guy I first fell in love with
EBR Team Member: Amor

February 25, 2017 at 10:53 pm

It’s ok if you’re going to extend the no contact rule because talking to him being like that, will probably hurt you and your son more.
Annjerica

February 18, 2017 at 2:56 am

Our son isn’t with him permanently my ex has told me if I get my life together again like get a job again he would come back but he’s in a rebound currently even his cousin thinks its a rebound since he’s with someone completely opposite of me and taller than him and 7years younger but since my own cousin and my exes cousin knows her well they told me she’s strung guys along, cheated and is very clingy which was a reason her last few relationships ended and she’s been posting all their business on fb and since I know him well he hates clingy and his business open to the public rn he just seems dense to it all I got to see my ex an my son a few days ago and stayed the night with his cousins there for a couple days and he’s acted like he never ended anything with me he talks acts and touches me like nothing happened and still says what’s mine is his as to what the saying is he’s very confusing he’s keeping her a secret from me but I found out on my own while she knows nothing about me and that me and him were together on the days I visited them he ignored her while I was there and slept with me again and when she shows up there while I’m not there he ignores me and stops sending me pics or let’s me video with my son his cousin keeps telling me it won’t last with her since he doesn’t want to go out publicly with her they’re only at his cousins house or her house
EBR Team Member: Amor

February 20, 2017 at 3:11 pm

well, at least she’s just a rebound.. if you are doing the minimal contact rule, make it count.. be active in improving yourself
EBR Team Member: Amor

February 7, 2017 at 3:56 pm

Hi Annjerica,

is your son staying with him for good? do you want to try the advice above?

LaToya

January 30, 2017 at 1:10 am

I used to live in California with my children father with our 3 children, an 8 yr old and twin 2 yr olds. We have been together since I was 19 and he 29. I’m now 30 and he is 39. I loved and still love him so much but i don’t know what to do. we were having financial difficulties and it was said that me and our children would come back to NY where we are both from and he would come a year later after finishing school and he promised us a future together and house and everything. He even told this to our oldest son who very much understands everything going on and was so distraught over missing his dad that he was up at 12 midnight crying in his bed. He was seeing someone else before I had even left California, while we were sharing a home and has no plans to come back to NY as per his words. Even after finding out about me and my children and he and I relationship, they are still together. He didn’t even talk to me about not wanting to be with me. He text me and said he doesn’t love me and never did and that he didn’t want to be with me because I was lazy and said in so text that we didnt have a family we had kids. I was a stay at home mom, house was always clean, I cooked, I did everything for him and my children, I had our twins in California and back then me and our oldest followed him to California after his job transfered him there. I do want him back not just for me but for our children. We all love him. I did the email and texts thing and stopped, I even stopped calling him. Once I did that He started calling everyday to speak to the kids. A while he was saying he hated me now says he doesn’t. He doesn’t call at a reasonable time to speak to my 8 yr old so he goes days and weeks at a time without speaking to him. But he calls almost everyday to speak to the twins. I have yet had the chance or time to heal myself. Doesn’t help that after I stopped calling he calls everyday except the weekends. I don’t even know how to do no contact or anything beyond that for that matter. How could he do this to me and our children.

EBR Team Member: Amor

January 30, 2017 at 2:56 pm

Hi Latoya,

you have to be active whether alone or with your children.. improve yourself and make a new routine with your children

Courtney

January 18, 2017 at 10:50 pm

So I’ve posted a lot throughout my breakup. But today I think I’ve completely lost my chance to get him back. We were together for 7 years, and have a son together. He left me in September for a friend of his. Only to come back in November trying to work things out. He decided that it wasn’t worth the effort, and left again, unfortunately I got pregnant at this time. About a week ago he left his girlfriend to befriend me. He would talk about how he wanted to sweep me off my feet, how he wanted to come to my prenatal appointments for our unborn child. He was sweet talking me to no end. I was enjoying it, I was excited for the future. For the hope that our relationship could be restored and our son and unborn child would grow up with their parents together. However 2 days ago I started to realize, he was still very much in contact with this other girl, as if they didn’t really break up in the first place. I asked him about it, and he said he was torn between us. He loves us both and doesn’t know who to choose. I didn’t want to be apart of a love triangle that I’d most likely lose, so I told him that I didn’t appreciate him stringing me along with the false hope that we could have a future. We ended that conversation on a sort of decent note. With him explaining that he needed to think about what he wanted in life before he settled. Well today, when I contacted him, I was made aware that he made his choice, and his choice was her. Again. He says he wants to be friends for our children’s sake, but I don’t think that’s a good idea. I still really love him, and I absolutely hate myself for loving him. But I can’t seem to stop. I tried so hard to win him back, I got so close to it. But things just go wrong. I don’t know what to do.

EBR Team Member: Amor

January 20, 2017 at 9:10 am

Hi Courtney,

I think you’re right that being friends with him now will not be good for you.. Although of course,you still have to be civil because your co parents

Anon

January 16, 2017 at 6:51 pm

Hi!
I’m almost to day 30 of no contact with my ex. I think I’m going to do a long one, maybe 45 like you suggested, Amor. I’m just nervous about this one.
I’ve been focusing on myself and my daughter. I have been talking to another guy and my ex’s mother is friends with me on Facebook so I know she’s seen him post on my profile.
I’m just trying to move forward. I’d love for my baby daddy to come back and be a real family with us. I just don’t know if that will happen. He is so angry with me and the last time we talked he told me he never wanted to talk to me again (I’m still not sure why, maybe because he saw me on that dating app I mentioned)
This will be the 2nd….maybe 3rd? time I do no contact. He always starts contact up again, I’ve never had to. But I’m not sure if I can expect that this time. Should I follow the normal tips for reconnecting? If I decide to, that is.

Anon

January 18, 2017 at 3:09 am

Right, I don’t think he’s had enough time to calm down. I’d like to maybe do a longer no contact. I guess minimal contact if he wants to see his daughter. I’m pretty upset with him for thinking he even has a reason to be upset!
I had to look at my journal but i did no contact for 30 days when we broke up back in june. Then built up rapport after he made first conctact. He moved back in September and we hung out several times but it was always with our daughter. Which is great but I meant we didn’t actually go on a “date.” So then he freaked out for no reason and now I’m doing no contact again.
Thank you for all of your help! You’ve been a real comfort, Amor. Reading your articles has really helped me, Chris! Either way if I get back with him or not I know I’ll be okay.
EBR Team Member: Amor

January 18, 2017 at 7:03 pm

that’s good.. you’re welcome!
EBR Team Member: Amor

January 16, 2017 at 9:47 pm

the more you do no contact, the less it can help you.. so, if you’re going to contact him again this time, don’t do it if he’s still angry

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392 thoughts on “Here’s How To Get Your “Baby Daddy” Back”