The Simple 2 Step Method To Get Your "Baby Daddy" Back

392 thoughts on “Here’s How To Get Your “Baby Daddy” Back”

Sparkle

October 16, 2020 at 6:00 am

Thank you this helped me a lot and I’m definitely trying the no contact method
Belle

October 13, 2020 at 1:23 pm

My baby daddy and I broke up about a week and a half ago. He cheated on me and broke my trust a year prior to that, and never made a genuine effort to gain it back, instead he kept making things worse by continuing to hide things, lie, not really being honest with me, and being sneaky. I started snooping through his phone, and he felt like I was invading his privacy, which I understand, but he violated my trust first. Snooping was the only way I could know if he was lying or hiding anything because he wouldn’t be honest with me when I would ask him about something. We ended up breaking up last week over an incident where he called me crazy because I questioned him about his whereabouts (his location showed he was somewhere he wasn’t supposed to), so I told him I didn’t want to be with him anymore. I tried to talk things out with him the next day but he refused to and said that he knows how i see him in my eyes and that the talking phase was over. I really miss him so much, he was my best friend, and when we were good it was amazing. But now he’s acting like he doesn’t care and giving me mixed signals as to whether we’re ever going to work it out or not. We were engaged.
Georgie

September 29, 2020 at 8:42 pm

My little girls dad cheated on me and left me for another girl, he is now seeing her and stays at her house most of the time (all the time) he says he’s happy now and appears to be but he left because he didn’t feel wanted or appreciated but when he mentioned it it was too late and he left, he was screaming at me sometimes shouting “don’t you think my heart was broken, I had the perfect little family and now that’s gone my heart is broken to”
So I know he has gone into this relationship and hasn’t actually had to be along time To think about things And heal. What can I do to win him back over. Yes I’m upset that he cheated but I cannot help that I live the man and we have made this beautiful baby girl together. I want my partner back and to be a family again, please help….what shall I do!

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

October 15, 2020 at 6:13 pm

I get how you are carrying this as a blame situation, but he did not tell you how he was feeling and he cheated, so for him to pass the blame to you is unfair selfish and an easy way out! You need to follow the rules of limited no contact because you share a child, but you need to avoid speaking with him as much as possible for 45 days, allowing him to spend time with this other woman long enough for him to pass the honeymoon phase, which is when you start following the being there method

Pretty

September 10, 2020 at 7:30 pm

I broke up with my BD last month and our son it’s only 1 month he found out that I was cheating on him and then he decided to break up with me and now he is not calling me just to hear how is the child it’s only his grandmother who call me to ask about the child after 3 weeks I love my BD cheating on him was a biggest mistake of my life. I don’t know if he would come back to me I need him in my life we need to raise our on and only son 2gether
Carolyn

August 26, 2020 at 4:02 pm

I am currently pregnant with me and my baby daddy second child. We broke up but I ended up having a weak moment and texting him a long paragraph about how I want us to make it work. No respond, not nothing. Its only been a couple of days that we have been broken. I wanted to give him space but no too much as I was the one who stopped talking to him. But overlooking the situation I seem that I may have over reacted and now he is playing hard to get and ignoring me, and very distant. I hate that I am so emotional but I really do want our family back. I mean, we are having a second kid together and I am tired of the back and forth, break up to make up. We’ve been on and off for about 5 years, and I just want things to right. I mean we both cheated, but we’ve been trying to rebuild. I need your help !!!!
🙁

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

September 7, 2020 at 8:48 pm

Hey Carolyn, what is the issue is that you are cheating on each other and the back and forth – you are falling into this bad habit of breaking up when things get rough. You need to identify what made you both cheat. And as for wanting your family back together. You are still a family even if broken up. You just need to be willing to work on yourself and learn how to interact with you BD with out arguments or falling outs. Start the program with a limited no contact where you only speak with him about your children (when you must)

Juliana

August 25, 2020 at 9:35 pm

My BD bailed out on us immediately I got pregnant, we kept his family in the loop but they were mean to me and I decided to let them be and accept support from my family and friends. A week to my son’s first birthday, his mom died and I attended her service of songs with my mom and my son. Immediately I saw him I realized I still love but then I don’t want to, he acted cool though and I get the urge to reach out but I want him to apologize and fall for me like crazy but I don’t know how. His son looks so much like him that he couldn’t take his eyes and hands off him but I don’t want to think he can just be the child’s dad without any responsibility from him……I’ll be waiting for your opinion

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

September 6, 2020 at 10:04 am

Juliana, if you want the guy back then follow the program but I think the lack of interest in being there for his son for 12 months is telling you exactly how he feels about being a parent and active in his life. I would suggest that you consider if this is a person you want to be in a relationship with before opening that door again. IF you do then read articles about how to attract your ex, work on your holy trinity and being ungettable.

Shannon

August 23, 2020 at 8:58 am

Split with my ex 3 weeks ago constant arguing over the same thing he has a problem (alcohol etc) coming before our baby. When he’s sober he wants to be with me but the days I call him out on it he says he’s done, his problem is me. I couldn’t deal with his problem anymore so I eventually told his family and my own. He is angry at me because I didn’t keep it between us but our baby is getting older and I was miserable having to deal with it on my own. His parents were always involved (I don’t get on with them) very false and they were enabling his problem by saying he was drinking because of our arguments (our arguments were always about the child not coming first). I don’t contact him unless he contacts me about seeing the child. I don’t let him take her places due to what he’s done before so he only sees her in my home.
I’m hoping me cutting him off is a wake up call to sort himself out or he won’t be in my child’s life. What can I do for him to regret walking out
And leaving us?

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

September 10, 2020 at 7:50 pm

Hey Shannon, to make him regret it, you need to work on yourself, focus on you and your baby and BE HAPPY without him. He will realise that he has lost something great and regret losing his family unit

Janey

August 9, 2020 at 3:28 pm

Split with my ex 2 month ago. Have 2 kids together 2 yr and 8 month old. He hasn’t really got a permanent home at minute. Comes here to see kids we go on days out he stays over stays in bed with me etc. Then says he don’t want me back our relationship was a bit toxic checking each other phones. Not spending much time apart as was always an issue when we were out alone, so we argued far too much but when not arguing was amazing. Went like that for 5 months that’s when he packed up and left, I asked him to leave take a break as I could see us getting worse he said he goes he goes for good he is sticking too he’s word. Don’t want my kids to loose out when he really wants to see them so that’s why I let him stay over etc. But feel like it’s not doing anything for me and him. He says he’s tried to get feelings back since he left but isn’t in love with me no more. he’s basically been with us nearly every day and we text all the time. I’m just going to start limited contact about kids what else should I do I want him back

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

August 11, 2020 at 6:45 pm

Hey Janey, so for this program to work you would need to change some of the situation you have going on. While I understand that it is hard to allow him to have this. You need to let him experience what life is like without you when he has the kids. So if he comes to stay over and have the children. You need to go else where, and if you cant. He sleeps on the sofa. DO NOT share a bed with him again. He currently get the best of both worlds. Family life, and then off to do his own thing when he is not around. You also need to stop the texting, limited no contact is where you do not speak with him unless its about the children health. And then when he is due to arrive for his visits. It is hard to make those changes if you want him back then you need to be strong.

Raye

August 5, 2020 at 5:49 pm

So I was with my ex bf for three years we went threw a lot he was an alcoholic and I helped sober him throughout the 3 years together we had a baby and I found him messaging other women always sorry and stopped then ten months ago found out he had a secret fb account and had met up with a women and cheated he said he wasn’t gonna go back again as in it was a one off but she said he was ,I threw him out and for months up until March he has been trying to get me back then lockdown happened we both decided he wouldn’t see our child at the beginning and the weeks past and a lot of arguing threw text where he’d ask to see baby and didn’t get back to me Then I’d get angry and not arrange for him to see her well Iv found out he has a new gf even though until the day I found out he was telling me he was single I arranged for him to see our child but with me there due to his alcohol issues didn’t wana risk him being alone ,we got on well offered to take me and our child for food I declined then saw him again a few days later bought me and our child trainers I confessed I had feelings for him still And he said he had feelings for me as his baby’s mom and that’s it (whatever that means ) and that he’s moved on so I said I want no contact with him and would have to sort our child out via relatives he dosent listen and then started to tell me when he was free the next week and said see me a few times then if u can’t do it cus of your feeling well sort something out ,He said all he want s his contact with his child so I said ,I’m done ,just message when you want to see her and you can have he him on your own he put ..up to you …is he completely over me
Esther

August 4, 2020 at 12:16 pm

It’s was really good reading this very helpfull.
ShiroKate

August 1, 2020 at 4:15 pm

I read this article and ended up worse than I was before because my baby daddy is the ‘no reach type’. We’ve been apart for 5 years now. I’ve taken care of our child for 5 years alone with no child support. I have tried everything. Even the whole focusing on myself thing but still nothing. He tells our mutual friends he misses me and they tell him to ‘man up’ but nothing
Hayley-Rose

July 17, 2020 at 7:45 pm

My ex and I were doing really well at getting back into contact, he would visit my daughter and I once a week and was very focused on working things out with me, also stating how he wasn’t All that happy in his poly relationship but needed to figure out if he wants monogomy again, which I respected. He left me back when I was pregnant and it took a whole year to come back and talk to me again once he realised I changed my behaivor. I can get very cold and also panicky when he doesn’t respond. Last week, he visited and it was a great night. No arguments, we enjoyed our time together but had trouble settling our daughter to sleep. But he helped me and even helped me calm down when he realised I was panicking. He knew that I was working on my mental health and that I was in transition of the medication I was taking, since he wants the best for me and hates seeing me in a panic or very depressed to the point where I can’t look after my child all that well, and I agree with him I hate seeing myself like that too. But he didn’t bring this up or that anything was wrong when he visited. After that night, he texted me ‘goodbight gorgeous see you soon’ and then wouldn’t respond for the next few days, when he told me he was busy. Afterwards, I asked him if he was visiting like we promised eachother for the whole week – I even booked a restaurant I went all in – I clearly care immensely about him and it hurts that he’s done this but out of the blue he blocked me. He hasn’t blocked through all revenues of social media but our main way of contacting. And I’ve had enough, I told him I wouldn’t give him another chance if he left. And he accepted that. He was really loving to me when he was here with me and then days later his behaivor changed? I myself would only accept him back if he communicated with me instead of blocking me because he doesn’t know how to talk about his feelings. But I feel like I’ve done something wrong even though I haven’t. Today was daughter is in hospital thanks to dehydration and I was considering texting him. But right now I’m really scared I’m going to lose the man I love again, and it doesn’t make sense because we had a perfect night with eachother, which he even agreed too. I don’t understand it. And it’s breaking my heart but I really want to put boundaries in place and say he can’t do this as a way of blocking me out – I’m happy to give him time and freedom to think. I’m very pateint with him I mean I waited a whole damn year and kept loyal. He came around once and I don’t know why I’ve even been blocked again. Thankyou .

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

August 9, 2020 at 11:28 am

Hey Hayley, if it his daughter then you should tell him that she is unwell, as for what has happened for him to block you it sounds more like he is getting the best of both worlds right now. He is spending time with you as a family and getting that intimacy of a relationship and family. And then he gets to live his life as a single man doing what ever he wants. I think you should start showing your ex that you are no longer willing to “wait” for him and just focus on you and your daughter, allowing him visits if it is his daughter, he takes her for lunch or you leave him in your home and you go out for a couple of hours while he spends time with her. You right now, are letting him control the situation and that is not what we suggest here in ex recovery that you take control and show that you know your worth

Mae

July 11, 2020 at 3:20 pm

My boyfriend and I dated for almost 2 years, we moved in together in the beginning of this year in January. Of course we had our little fights but it’s typical when moving in together. He always involved his parents or they involved their self. They made it clear they didn’t like me and I feel like they didn’t because I got pregnant and I was taking their son away from them. So long story short, in the middle of June he kicked me out and his parents was there the whole time making sure I was moving out and only took my things and was behind my back and didn’t let me breathe when I was moving. Like I said we didn’t have a bad relationship at all it’s just his parents was still telling him what to do and convince him he wasn’t in a good relationship. I have completed 21 day no contact before he showed up at the house I’m living at to beg for me back . Saying he wants to marry me, go to couple therapy and wants me back home. I agreed to couple therapy but I was not moving right away to just be kicked out again and I stood my ground. However he told his mom the plan and she called him stupid and was very disapproval about it. So later that day everything she said he said and he didn’t wanna make it work but just to be friends. But he also has another girl he has been talking to and he is the type that kept be alone and it hurts that I feel like I’m never gonna get him back and the baby isn’t even here yet.

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

August 4, 2020 at 10:32 pm

Hi Mae, I am sorry you are going through this and that his parents are so involved in his love life. However you need to be aware that this is never going to change until he is ready to or willing to stand up for himself. I suggest that you go back into another No Contact where you do not speak with him unless its about baby and pregnancy. You are going to have to learn how to co parent with him soon but also make it clear that his mother does not get to dictate how you make that happen.

Amber

July 6, 2020 at 12:38 pm

Hello,

Me and my sons father have been together for 2 years. We did argue a lot but there were times where we were so happy with one another. I came home from work and he had all of his stuff packed and he left. He said that he needed space and he couldn’t do this relationship with me anymore because I was changing who he was and he wanted to get back to his old self. We had a civil conversation before he left and he stated there was a possible chance of getting back together if changes were made. He said this but then at other times he says that I shouldn’t get my hopes up because he has no idea what will and can happen. He did agree to start therapy with me to sort our issues. He is giving me really mixed fixed signals. He is either really nice and supportive or very rude and not willing to ever give this relationship a chance again. I’m confused, I’m so hurt and this is the hardest thing I ever had to deal with. I want to focus on my baby but my mind won’t stop racing. I am going to try the NC method as hard as it will be.. do you think I have a good chance?

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

July 6, 2020 at 6:20 pm

Hey Amber, I think your ex is just fed up of the arguing and fall outs and if it was happening often this is why he is struggling to know what to do. Where he would care about you and remember your good times one day and the next he is thinking that you just wouldnt work as a couple. You need to follow a limited no contact where you only speak to him about baby and let him pick up and drop off at agreed times. Give him that separation where you are not begging to get him back. Work on yourself to be the person that he first met, but obviously the older more mature version

Amber

July 4, 2020 at 12:26 am

Somehow I’ve stumbled across this forum and I’m so happy I did. I was already on the No Contact rule before I even knew it was a “thing.” Anyways, I can’t really call my newly baby’s father an “ex-boyfriend.” We’ve dated once back in ‘14. And been on and off “lovers and friends” up until now when I’ve gave birth to our son. See the problem is he can’t let his “high school crush/ baby mother of 2 ALONE!” I know I should’ve stopped messing with him years ago! See “SHE moved on” yet she still controls and has access to his life! Now that I’ve had our son he’s become more distant from me. He’s an excellent father don’t get me wrong, so that’s all that really counts. He do sometimes use our son to “sleep” with me. But I no longer want that! I’m not even sure if I want him! He confuses me. One minute he acts like he’s so in love with me, then the next he acts like I annoy the hell out of him. To top it off I just found out he “may” have another baby on the way in September. My son won’t be 1 until December! He claims the baby has a low chance of being his! The girl he may have pregnant is a porn star/ stripper like literally. I’m just disgusted. Now that the backstory is finish, my question is: “Should I break the no contact rule? Our son is having an important surgery in 2 weeks, he doesn’t know about it. Should I inform him with a text? Or wait until a few days before and then inform him. Grapevine it and have a family member tell him?” It’s only been 3 days since we last spoke and it was an argument. Mostly it’s me contacting him about our sons needs and visits. I was trying to see if he contacts me first then tell him briefly. I’m at a standstill.
Leslie

July 1, 2020 at 1:56 am

Me and my ex/ baby daddy was on and off for 8 years. We haven’t been together for a couple months but continued to do little things together sex and etc. we have two girls together and he has another child ( we broke up for a year 1/2 and had another baby). Got back together I accepted the child like my own. I’m at the point where I’m ready to be married and happy but to him I made things worse by accusing him when I have no reason to because we are not together. We both do damage. We just got into a big argument and he said he just want to co patent and also it makes him unhappy to speak with me sometimes.Also he says ALOT of crazy things when he is mad. Even if I don’t get back with him which I will have to accept I want us to have a friendship at least. I feed off talking to him, I still get nervous with butterflies when he comes to my house and have the biggest smile when we talk.
Erica

June 24, 2020 at 7:54 am

Hi
So my ex and i were dating for 4 years we knew eachother since kids we broke up in 2019 and i did the NC rule (didnt even know about the rule until now) and in 6 months he contacted me (i was surprise cause he told me he would never look for me ) and so far its been a year since we were in contact and he claimed he missed me and wanted to get back.. he was simply caring more then before but he was in another relationship also for a year and still talked to me and saw me the whole year. In march we hooked and i got pregnant now hes going to be my baby daddy and right now im 14 weeks pregnant once i told him i was pregnant he didnt want nothing to do with the baby and simply just decided to cut me off to save his relationship and it gets me sad to think a person you knew for so long acts like this when i thought he cared this whole year and sometimes i feel like i just wanna talk to him but i force myself not to because if a person doesnt want to be in your life you cant force them too and its Been a few days since he has left . Im thinking did he leave For good this time ? and im thinking will he come back if i do the NC rule again. Im just scared to go through this pregnancy alone with him not caring at all about his kid and living his life when i thought he cared about me . I dont know if he will end up coming back if he stated already he didnt want the kid. Will it even be worth trying

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

June 26, 2020 at 11:05 pm

Hey Erica, sometimes it takes exes to come around to the idea of a baby on the way longer than it does us. So I suggest that you follow a limited no contact where you update him about baby where needed, this does not mean daily. Following the program is going to give you, your best chance of getting your ex back. However working on your Holy Trinity is important factor of this program

Jenn

June 20, 2020 at 6:44 pm

Please respond!
My BD and I have been committed together for 5 years. When I was pregnant with our daughter he quit his job and I told him I would support him so he could finish school. I worked through two pregnancies because right after our daughter was born- I got pregnant again! I supported us for years and paid all the bills but I got disrespected way too often. I put up with it for a while because I love him and I understand his stressors. But I let him believe he could treat me that way and I would always forgive him and come back. We were living at my parents house and after all of this drama in the works he says he feels judged by my parents. And he had created a negative environment and he has stayed in the room only. I broke up with him because I woke up one morning to a scenario where he was wrong- but told me to shut up and wouldn’t let me communicate my feelings.. it became too much for me to handle. Huge explosion. He left yelling at my dad, told my mom he loved her and that he was sorry. I know he is hurt. And I want to be there for him. His life has been rough. He is living with his mother right now but we haven’t spoken. He called me and I didn’t answer. My heart is broken- he has been the step dad to my son for 5 years. Our daughters are 2 and 1. This weekend is Father’s Day weekend and his sister told me he wanted the girls. But I told her he had to ask me for them.. was that wrong? And how should I do no contact?

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

July 14, 2020 at 8:12 pm

Hi Jen, no you are not wrong to expect him to ask you for the girls but you also didnt answer his call which is why he may have gone through his sister. You need to explain to him that you will only communicate with him about the children and he can do that by sending a text. You then follow a limited no contact, but I suggest that you do so for 45 days because of how the relationship ended so badly. If you choose to get back with him, then that would be something I suggest you do slowly and start dating, make sure that he is on his feet and working so that he can provide some sort of income to your family too. While it is noble for you to take care of him for some time, it should be a two way street when children are invovled

Adriane P Hausher

May 26, 2020 at 7:17 pm

My child’s father left our home about 6 months ago. We met in 2012 and started dating in 2013. We had a ceremony June 2017 but the paperwork was never filed with the court so we werent technically married. We discussed this and we agreed that since we considered ourselves married, we didn’t need to re-do the ceremony. We had rings and presented as husband & wife. I found out he was talking to other females throughout our relationship. I had our daughter July 2017. He has always had jealousy and trust issues with me, no matter what I do.
I recently started the NC rule about a week ago. How long should i continue the NC rule? What is my next move after the NC rule? How do I move on but still let him know that his family wants him to return home?

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

June 9, 2020 at 10:38 pm

Hey Adriane, so you need to follow a limited no contact because of your child. And work on becoming Ungettable. When your NC period is over you need to start the texting phase there are many articles on this website to help you through the process

Bambi

May 18, 2020 at 12:00 pm

I’m wondering if no contact can be used for baby daddy who broke up with me 6 months ago then says he does not want to be in relationship. We hooked up for awhile but friends with benefits then I told him i dont wanna do that no more and he still flirts with me sometimes and is not seeing anyone and regularly sees child. But he says he does not want to be in a relationship. Thanks

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

May 20, 2020 at 9:46 pm

Hi Bambi, yes you can follow whats called a limited no contact with your ex as you need to speak in regards to your child. Other than that you follow the same rules

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392 thoughts on “Here’s How To Get Your “Baby Daddy” Back”