The Simple 2 Step Method To Get Your "Baby Daddy" Back

392 thoughts on “Here’s How To Get Your “Baby Daddy” Back”

Yuli Jimenez

March 22, 2020 at 8:21 am

Hi I don’t know what to do in this situation anymore. I just found out, well the puzzle pieces came together this month. The day of my baby shower which was March 2019 the last time I saw him in person, my fiance was already seeing someone else behind my back. When he was here he wasn’t allowing me to get Nestor see his phone. He got mad once and I asked what he was mad about he told me his friend the OW/co-worker told him what if the baby wasn’t his. I started to worry but I had faith in him. We were in a LDR. It never occurred to me, or maybe it did but I didn’t want to believe it. He was always telling me he loved me and missed me and I believed it. He told me no one could ever replace me, because no one will ever be like me they will only look like me but won’t be me. We always had on and off arguments which was out of my control because I was pregnant and I became more of an emotional baby which he couldn’t stand. Then came June 2019 o gave birth to my beautiful daughter. He never showed up, he was at work and he said they weren’t going to let him go. Thought by time he would show up, days past, months past. We facetimed most of the time it was always hot and cold between us. But then again it was long distance. He never told me when he was going to come. He claimed to of been working hard so he can support both me and our daughter. Then in the same month I gave birth he asked for paternity test. During the time in waiting to get my part of the test to do on my daughter there was a whole two weeks I couldn’t get a hold of him. Then to a surprise the OW/ co-worker texted me knowing Josh, seeking for answers playing like a friend, she asked me if I knew his current girlfriend And I answered that it would be me, she knew everything that was going on and about my daughter and everything I sent to him I was furious. I started to have a stronger suspicions I confronted him, even though He knew as he got my texts which he had in mute nor ever cared to text back. His mom confronted him about it too. He texted me saying he was sorry and he had a talk with her but did he really. He kept telling me he loved me and misses me, I chose to believed it all. Then finally the test kit came and he was panicking saying he loves me, I mean the world to him, ect, that his sorry. I was confused but believed it. I’m in love with him I couldn’t help but forgive him and continue being together, which was I thought. We still had rough patches. I thought after we got the results everything would become better again. Then I came upon the womens Facebook she had photos of them together, I was shocked and confronted to him and he got mad and didn’t want to talk about it. I didn’t know why he couldn’t tell me. I kept asking him frequently when he plans on coming. He only told me excuses. Then I stalked Abit as I was curious she had more photos of them. I confronted him nicely but he was yet resistant he hanged up as usual. Before we would of always Skyped and he would talk about us and our future but then it became less. I didn’t talk to him for two days only responding when he asked about my daughter, then third day I called he was at work but he told me he loved me and we hanged up, Its March and it hits a whole year since I saw him in person. During the whole years A week ago I facetimed him the same day i mentioned earlier, it was night time, the talk started of nice, then he suddenly mute himself. At this time and point he was already settling down to his new apartment with his supposedly roommate the OW. I confronted him to tell me honestly what he wanted and if he still had feelings for me. He told me he loved me , he still loves me. Then I asked if his with the OW, did he move on. He got silent and looked away he said yes, I asked when it all started, he told me the day after he returned home from the month of the baby shower. He told me he didn’t want to talk about it until he was ready, I replied your never gonna be ready. He said he didn’t want to see me cry. I told him why, why does he keep saying he loved me when his with another, it’s not fair. He responds I do love you, and was getting furious. He hanged up. I couldn’t believe it, I had spent a year waiting for him to come get me, a year hearing him say billions of times he loves and misses and that I was his world, a year being a mother, a year loving him and having hope. I told him we needed some time to ourselves the next day I told my mom and my older sister about what had happened. My older sister confronted him and the ow through text. He had told my sister something else and the OW something else , and me something else. he was lying and telling different stories to each. Samee day she confronted him he texted me to talk to him, I didn’t reply. He then texted me in the morning after saying whenever I’m ready to listen to let him know, and that he would like to see his daughter and talk to her. His daughter he never once came down to see. I responded nicely as if I didn’t read what he and the OW said back to my sister. Told him he cane face time her but that’s all I want to talk about. I would like some space please. He then replied ok just ok , I then told him the time. He then said my time your time , you want space I’ll give you your space ok, I’m sorry (my name). I replied my time, he then said ok , I’m sorry. I acted as if didn’t knew why he was apologizing for. And said I’m confused why are you sorry, if your taking a rain check to the FaceTime that it was nothing to apologise for that it was ok, and thank you. He didn’t reply back. Today I was curious i saw the OW Facebook , a new post , pictures of both. Places me and him had been to as if he was trying to replace them. She posted saying it’s a year. A year already that they been together and I didn’t know or chose to ignore the red flags. He was smiling he looked really happy, pictures of them kissing, and again the places I had been with him.They got engaged on February 22 and living together. Hey he still told me he loved me during the whole entire year since my daughter was born and talking about the future. I don’t know what to think of it all. He had been seeing her and telling me this lies to my face. He seem happy without me and our baby who’s bout to be a year old. I’m left heartbroken Wondering if everything from actions and every little thing he told me was just all a bunch of lies. Did he really lead me on for the entire year? What do I do in this situation? Is the 45 days NC even apply to for this kind of situation? What do I do? Have I already lost him? Should I give up? Why did he do what he did? The OW can’t be a rebound can she it’s already a year she said in her post? Is it hopeless for me?

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

March 29, 2020 at 10:16 pm

Hi Yuli, so if you want him back then you need to follow the program, but honestly I would read over what you have said above remove your emotion from the situation and realise this guy is not good for you, he is not being a good father and he is also cheating on you and the other girl. This guy sounds as if he has played games with both of you and has lied to the both of you. At this point I would focus on trying to get him to be a good father to your daughter, or walk away for good

Stacey

March 16, 2020 at 4:30 pm

I feel like I have an impossible situation. My ex left me 8 months ago and says he has been with this other girl for 5 months. However others have stated it was much longer as in work they flirted etc with each other.
He has now told me he wants to move in with her which just screams to me it has been going on longer than 5 months as they get a dog together, are moving in together and she is heavily involved in my kids life.

I don’t know what to do or how to handle this anymore. I generally believe he is gone for good and I need to accept that but don’t know how.

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

March 18, 2020 at 2:44 am

Hi Stacey if you want to get your ex back then make sure that you understand the being there method. It can be emotionally draining if you are not full prepared to deal with this then take some time for yourself and then re approach your situation.

Janet

March 11, 2020 at 3:23 pm

I met the father of my son 5 years ago. He was dating his gf but had split up 2 month after I met him. We had sex and I became pregnant. One month into my pregnancy I called and told him but he had already made up with his gf. He was there to support all through my pregnancy and till birth. When Ryan became 2 he broke up with his long term gf of 8years and came back to me. We have been dating, had plans of marriage but I found out he was still communicating with his ex and had sex with her. When I confronted him, he admitted to it. Said he was sorry and that he couldn’t keep up with our relationship. That its been a struggle for him. He broke up with me February 7th. It hurts so much. I had dreams and hopes of being a one big family with him. He said he is back with his ex. Do I still stand a chance with him?

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

March 12, 2020 at 1:59 pm

Hey Janet it sounds as if he playing between you both. If he has children with her too I would focus on how to co parent positively before starting the being there method and if you want to get this person back who is cheating and lying between you and her.

Chloe

March 7, 2020 at 5:03 pm

Anyone have any advice my ex walked out on me 5 weeks ago we have a 6month old baby together been together 6 years and there was no explanation he would always break up an get back together but this is the longest by 2 weeks! I tried no contact but we have a child together he keeps talking every 2-3 days about our child when he can see her …. I usually have people taking her to see him so I don’t have to see him although one day he asked if he can come he did we didn’t really talk I have now not spoken since as I don’t no what to make of this anyone have any advice ?

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

March 9, 2020 at 9:46 pm

Hi Chloe so you can follow a limited no contact where you can see and speak to him but only about your child the rest of the time you need to remain in no contact for 30 days. As for him wanting to come to you to talk you are not going to be willing to hear excuses from him, unless he tells you he wants to get back together. But there must be a reason that you keep breaking up and getting back together so think of what changes you can make to let that happen, it also will take him to be willing to work on himself too

Clair Stone

March 4, 2020 at 11:17 pm

Where do I even start Haha, I am so thankful I have found this because its pretty much explained how I feel at the moment. The most difficult thing about my situation is my BD left me for someone else before I found out I was was pregnant, and then eventually because I acted the exact way you said he chose her again and again but the 3rd time I had to block him because his cousin gave me abuse over facebook and he didnt stand up for me.. so then after the 20 week scan he decides to contact me back and we talk and work things out but obviously hes going through a stage of breaking in and out of a relationship with this girl he left me for, then last week I was silly and we ended up sleeping together, he then 2 days later says to me he doesnt know what he wants anymore and doesnt want a relationship but still is in love with his ex, today it turns out there was another girl on the scene aswell who liked him but I dont know what’s going on so i think honestly I’ve been trying to figure out what to do and I’ve never searched for answers on google before and when I did I found this so what I’m worried about is the method still working even though I’m having to worry about losing him to 2 other women, worst part is that I’m finding it very difficult to control my feelings as I’m still pregnant and hormonal.

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

March 16, 2020 at 6:58 pm

Hi Clair, I am so glad this article helped you! Remember that the main thing is that you and baby are good! The rest will fall into place

Sarah

March 4, 2020 at 10:08 am

Hi – I really loved this article. I felt like it was directed at me specifically.
I had my baby 3 months ago. Me and my baby’s father were living together. We were fighting alot then one day we had a big fight so i decided to take a break and go to my parents for a few days, but i did not break up with him. Then he decided to message a couple of his exes when i was away (one of whom he cheated on me with a long time ago) and the reason i know that is because i have his passwords. He got them to text him so i couldn’t see the messages. So then we broke up. Since then I’ve been trying to work things out with him but apparently he won’t stop texting his ex. His ex actually messaged me and told me they were just friends and she doesn’t want him back, however, they text non-stop and he hardly texts me. I’ve flipped out on him a couple times about him talking to her so now he’s “not sure” if he wants me back. He also has a lot of mental health issues/anger issues and alcoholism so he says he wants.to figure that out first before he decides if he wants us to be together.. I’ve been staying at my parents for about a month now while this has been going on. It’s been a hard month. I do love him and want him to figure his stuff out.. but he also refuses to get help, he says he can’t “talk to anyone”. Apparently as of last night he isn’t talking to his ex anymore because of what she wanted. I don’t know what to do. Apparently everything i do is wrong. Oh and he’s living rent free in my house and i pay his cell phone bill.. I am hoping you have some advice for me.

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

March 7, 2020 at 8:20 pm

Hi Sarah… so you need to stop paying his bill… stop letting him live rent free in your house! If you are not together then you need to give him the cold shoulder and some tough love. Babys father or not hes taking advantage of you! You need to follow limited no contact where you only speak about the child and him having access to visits or time with the baby. Show yourself respect or you wont be getting him back any time soon.

Luleka Magadla

February 21, 2020 at 9:53 am

Hi.
My ex left me when i was six months pregnant because i was “complaining too much” about him not being around. Fast forward to when the baby was born; he was never there and started paying child support when she was 3 months after i prompted him too. I work with him in the same building. Hes on the 1st, im on the second floor. I see him when his coming to do admin with our clerk once a week, he just says hi and moves on with what he was doing. He’s never seen the baby face to face, only when i sent him pics he never requested. We had a savings club that we recently dissolved (there were 8 of us in the group) and he would only talk to me when he wants to find out details about the group, but strangely this week he asked me about the group (wanted to talk to one of the group members he doesnt have a number for, so he called him on my phone). so after the guy had put the phone down, he called again and said he doesnt know why the guy had put down the phone “thanks for your help” so i remind him that im getting out of the group (the group is dissolving), he he was the last one to get savings back. He says he remembers i told him this, starts telling me that “its a bad thing the group is ending coz it was helping everyone to save, he’s scared of joining a new group coz in our group we were all colleagues”. i just answer yes: he continues “the new place he’s found needs a bit more rent, it R2500, then there’s R500 for transport, that means its R3000 he needs to use per month, maybey if he stayed in town he could save on transport (I could have easily figured this out, so why is he telling me this, to try to seem interested, i said you must jog back from work to save on transport, and i say-oh, i thought you had bought a house in your area ), he answers all this with very detailed answers as though we were the best of friends, although we had a sour fight just the week before. Is there a chance of this guy coming back. What do you detect from this conversation.

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

March 2, 2020 at 6:17 pm

Hi Luleka, so it sounds as if he is trying to be civil from your conversation however I would look at his actions if he does not want to see the baby, it says a lot about who he is as a person. I would follow the program if you want to try and get him back and look at the positives and the negatives of being in a relationship with him again if he can not be bothered to see his own child

Joy

February 15, 2020 at 9:50 am

Hi I need advice. We started dating 2006 and was planning to settle down cus he has been the only man in my life and first love, in 2018 I got pregnant and he came to my family for proper introduction of his intentions. I really didn’t move in with him but gave birth in my parents house, fast forward to December 2018, the mother kick against our relationship and say we can’t marry again. We both love ourselves but we can’t stay together since the mother is monitoring us. Now forward to March 2019 he started another relationship with a lady who moved in with him and now she’s pregnant.
Though I love my baby daddy and don’t wish for different father for my children but I practice no contact rules for him, though he come around to check his son and allow take responsibility. Now he do tell his friends that he truly want me back cus am better than the other lady but he told them I have not been picking his call or calling him like before. That he doesn’t know maybe am still interested or in love with him. Anytime he came to check his son I notice he always control his emotions but he didn’t bring the matter up with me.
What can I do because I still love him so much and I want a home with our son. I’m so lonely and sometimes longing for sex with him.

Can he still truly come back to me.
Can I still ask for sex from him though am doing no contact rules.
2. What about the pregnant lady living with him, can he still leave her cus he do tell his friends he can’t marry the lady that he still prefer me to the lady.

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

February 17, 2020 at 8:48 pm

Hey Joy, so no you can not go to him for sex if you are in the no contact rule….. NO CONTACT = No Contact. No texting, No talking, No SEX! Nothing for 30 days in total. You do not reach out to your ex, and you do not reply to your ex if they reach out to you. It sounds more like your ex is playing games with you and the other woman. Learn your worth and work on yourself. What he is doing is using you both by the sounds of things

Amanda Fitzgerald

February 2, 2020 at 7:42 am

My ex boyfriend left my 6 month old son and I three weeks ago.
It was completely out of the blue. He said it was best for all of us if he did this as he has depression and is having thoughts of taking his own life. (He has been working 5am-9pm 5 days a week, and works 6 days a week. I asked him to reduce hours because I could see him burning out. On top of this his ex who he has another son with, has been making life really difficult. She messages us both with threats and continually tells us how ugly our son is and she hopes he drowns and so much more hateful things.) I use to get mad about it, even though I knew she was just jealous, until I could see it getting to my ex because he just didn’t know what to do. He thinks for everyone this is the best.
He has completely switched off and he is not himself. Family are begging that I try to make my way back in but I did that when he first tried to leave telling him we will do this as a family and can get through it. They want me to do this as he has made no contact with anyone since our son and I left. He messaged me two days ago asking if he could see our son.
Would this apply to me because I’m completely lost. I know if he was himself he wouldn’t do this. (He has not done it before. His first son was a one night stand and she is a lesbian!)

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

February 4, 2020 at 9:14 pm

Hey Amanda, it sounds as if your ex needs help right now so I wouldn’t no contact him, I would just limit the contact you have with him. While being an ex but the stable civil one based on how the other woman is behaving. He needs to seek Professional support for how hes feeling

Brianna Porter

January 22, 2020 at 6:55 am

My boyfriend and I have been on and off for two years . We’ve had cheating lying and all that in the past. After I found out I was pregnant he stuck by me and we was together ever since then. He told his mom he was going to propose to me and everything but his mom said to wait cause we wasn’t financially stable . We was living with my mom this whole time . Here recently we moved into our own apartment things were looking up until I found out he was sending things back and forth to these girls . So I was hurt and we argued back and forth for a couple days and then he ended up leaving with his friend . Told me he’d be here for the baby but didn’t love me anymore and didn’t wanna be with me . He ignores all my text or tells me to leave him alone he doesn’t wanna be with me . I gave him a house , food, paid all the bills , bought him random stuff , gave him money just to make him happy. Idk where I went wrong. I want my family back .
Ashely

January 20, 2020 at 8:56 pm

My ex BD and I broke up in July 20, 2019. Since then he has been talking and hanging out with girls. We gave it another shot in November kind of but it felt like I was putting in all the effort. I felt like he hasn’t forgiven me for how I made him feel and stuff during the duration of the 2/5 years our daughter was born. And now he is talking to this 18 year old girl. And he states he has feelings for me but isn’t in love with me but his feelings aren’t strong… I want him back and I want to be a family . He does not see me as the same girl as before.

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

January 22, 2020 at 2:14 pm

Hey Ashley, it is so hard to be apart from someone you share kids with, it takes strength to deal with the situation reading this article may help you get through the initial limited no contact, but make sure you also look up an article about the ungettable girl and work on yourself during the next few weeks to show him you are better than you were before, you’re not a girl you’re a woman and at that a woman who has given him a child, a home and a family! https://www.exboyfriendrecovery.com/how-to-get-your-ex-back-when-you-have-a-child-with-them/

Tania

January 17, 2020 at 4:08 am

Hello,
Me and my boyfriend have been together for 9 years, we have a 4 year old daughter. We don’t live together right now . He lives with his family and I live with mine, but I have our daughter most of the time.
We had made plans for last Wednesday & I got ready and when I tried messaging him if he forgot about our plans .. he replied with a one word not even saying what happen. I sent him like 5 messages and he never replied until the next day and apologizes for forget our plans … he was going to bring our daughter to my house cause she had spent the night the night before when he came to my house I asked him where was he the whole day.. he didn’t want to tell me and he said he was with his friends. (This isn’t the first time he’s done that) I got upset because he knew we had plans and he had our daughter and he wasn’t even with our daughter his mom had her while he was with his friend, we are both 24
The next day he tried to act like nothing happen and I told him I was still upset and wanted him to show he was sorry not just say it since it happen more than ones. He ignored my messages and didn’t talk to me for 2 days.. I messaged him on Monday and told him I shouldn’t have been the one messaging him since he was the one that ditched our plans and he went on to say “it’s so hard to communicate with me” when all I said to him was that I was upset over something he did. I sent him like 10 messages . I know some messages I shouldn’t have said things like how I have always been there for him and don’t understand why he would ignore me when I was the one that was upset over something he did..: and pretty much telling him I was done with him . Which I didn’t mean because I was just mad that he didn’t put the effort and he never replied back. Until, Wednesday I messaged and I told him if we could just stop the silent treatment and if he wanted to see our daughter.. he said he was working but if his mom could pick her up.. it made me upset because I want him to be the one to make the effort to come see our daughter instead of his mom so I told him to tell me know a day he was available.. and when would be able to talk about what happen ? He didn’t reply so I sent him another message telling him to tell let me know so we could meet at the park.. with that he sent me a messaging saying that I was trying to keep our daughter from him when he has been the one that has contacted me at all about her.. I told him that wasn’t it and of course I sent him about 5 messages , which I wish I wouldn’t have. And ended it with me telling him i wasn’t going to message him anymore and he knew where I lived if he wanted to see our daughter and to contact me via email… I honestly don’t even know what to do?? I didn’t do anything other than what him to show he was sorry for choosing his friends over our plans and even our daughter & it made things worse now and he’s just ignore me

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

January 21, 2020 at 10:30 pm

Hey Tania, so this article should help you https://www.exboyfriendrecovery.com/how-to-get-your-ex-back-when-you-have-a-child-with-them/

This is how to deal with a situation, and how to complete a successful Limtied No Contact, then you can start a texting phase giving that you work on yourself in that time. If he continues to choose his social life over time with your daughter, then consider just leaving him in a total NO contact as you also need to show him, that your child is not a pawn to be picked up and dropped when he feels its convenient to him

Daniela

January 15, 2020 at 6:35 pm

My baby daddy left me 5 days after the baby was born and said he needed time for himself and during that time he found someone else that he had met at a bar while I was 4 months pregnant and when he got with someone else he started to tell me he never wanted to get engaged he started to tell me things that completely broke me I didn’t know how to process all that even being a new mom I fell into depression he didn’t see The baby for a while till he finally made me go to the courts and got custody of my son, right now he’s still with this new girl, he disclosed that the whole time he didn’t really love me anymore that he only wanted to be a dad but he didn’t wanna be with me that he only stayed so long because he felt bad for me even tho we planned the baby first the moment I got off

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

January 18, 2020 at 4:03 am

Sounds like you have had a lucky escape Daniela, you can still co parent healthily and if you want him back you have the information here to help you and starts with a limited no contact

Amber Myers

January 13, 2020 at 12:21 am

I have been with my childs father for 3 years now . We have a 1 year old together. I love him so much but all we do is argue at times especially when we drink together. He don’t know how to communicate he ignores me when I try to express my feelings or if somethings bothering me. He says messed up things when we argue , saying he will go sleep with someone else an he should chose the other girl instead of me an he is rethinking giving me a ring. Then says he don’t mean it but says the worst things. He has put his hands on me before as well as I have out of anger. We moved past that an it don’t happen no more. I live by his family where I know nobody I work at home an I feel I’m losing my mind. I feel he is unsure of this relationship or don’t know what he wants. I attend to call off when we argue which I know I shouldn’t but the thought of losing my family drives me insane an I feel lost confused . I have no support my family is discombobulated. Everyone lives out of state. I feel broken an tore down . I feel he belittled me an causes me to become insecure. I’m lost confused . What should I do? Should I leave to heal myself cause I’m trying but it’s hard . Also are sex is kinda boring anymore but I still want to be with him. Maybe I’m too comfortable an forgot who I am. Idk could u give me some advice

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

January 18, 2020 at 3:52 am

Hey Amber, so if you want to be with him then you need to have a sit down and have a calm conversation with him without arguing and work through your issues and as you stated it happens when you drink, I suggest you stop drinking before things escalate to a break up. Having open conversations with him about how you can make each other happy again is whats best, unless you want to end the relationship to which I suggest you think about it seriously for a short while before doing it as you don’t want to regret the decision and have to work to get him back. Taking time for yourself is always advised that does not mean a break up it just means you do things that make you feel happier, less stressed and love yourself again

Ellie

January 7, 2020 at 2:45 am

My baby daddy and I were living together for 2 years since our daughter was born March 1st,2018. We had a huge argument and he moved back to his moms house. This happened December 22,2019 it’s now January 6,2019 and we spoke and hung out. But he said he is not moving back in with us. He wants to still be together but live separate at least until he finds a job and gets his stuff together. Now I don’t know what to do because it is unfair. I’m basically a single mother, something doesn’t feel right. At this point I want to end this relationship with him for good but at the same time I don’t because I love him so much. I just want him to move back in to be a family. But I can’t force him, the only option I see now is to end it. He walked away from us so why can’t I walk away from him. It’s so hard 🙁

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

January 7, 2020 at 10:54 pm

Hi Elle, I suggest you approach your boyfriend with a calm conversation about how you do not want to live apart, you need to explain that you want stability for your child and you do not want to confuse her when she is still so young, allow him 30 days to “sort himself” work wise, it shouldn’t be that hard to find any work giving that he is not going for a occupation within a tough field. IF he is not willing to meet you in the middle and set an agreed time when you want to be living together again and you still want to end things then that is of course your call

Devyn

December 31, 2019 at 2:05 pm

I am going through a family crisis and am in desperate need of help. I just recently had a baby June 30th, 2019. My fiancée and I are having horrible communication issues. His mother just recently (in September/October) had a psychotic break or has rapid onset dementia… when my fiancée went to go check on her in Arkansas, he had dinner and hung out with a woman in his hotel behind my back.. I found out by going through his text messages.. there was inappropriate comments and flirtation.. this caused huge trust issues which made us fight a lot.. well, I tried my hardest to suppress my emotions to be there for him.. but it was difficult every time he went back to Arkansas.. then he finally snapped and doesn’t know if he wants this anymore. He said he’s built resentment towards me over the years and feels he made decisions based on my emotions than his.. so now we are stuck in this awful stage of nothingness.. I’m so lost. I’m hurt. I feel guilty. I don’t know what to do. My son is only 6 months old. I’m just… really needing someone to talk to and help to give me strength.. because he has emotionally and mentally checked out. Said he can’t give me what I need right now. He said he needs space and time. He packed a bag and left. He’s not wanting to be home because it’s too hard cause all he thinks about are the kids. He also has a daughter with his ex wife that we have part time. We live together in a house. When I tried to sit down with him to figure everything out he came home drunk and just fought with me. Called me a bitch, said he hates me, and that I’ve treated him like crap the whole time we were together. That I leaned on him too much. I called him a coward and told him to be a man. Lots of harsh words were said back and forth. Then he said he was done and I told him to move out. now he’s staying at whatever hotel but still paid me rent and for the nanny. Reached out saying he will help with our son whenever I need. And that he will contact me to make plans for him to see our son. Said he was sorry for everything and wants to continue to be away.

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

January 4, 2020 at 10:52 pm

Hi Devyn, I’m so sorry this is difficult situation to deal with especially when you have a young baby. So you need to do something called limited no contact with your ex and focus on you and baby adjusting to this lifestyle that you have right now.

He is more than likely dealing with this situation with his mother internally and taking it out on you, where you need him, his family need him, and he probably does not know how to deal with it. It does NOT excuse his behavior with you or the other woman. But keep reminding yourself this is not your fault, this is the way he has dealt with a difficult situation.

Read up about the Ungettable girl and apply that to your life and focus on how to have the best version of yourself for the child and when the time is right you will find that when things are good and calmer your ex may want to speak to you about the situation when he is in better control of his emotions

Mary

December 28, 2019 at 7:47 pm

I met this guy last year and we hung out and slept together a couple of times and that next month I found out i was pregnant. He was only in my state for work, and then he was moving back to his home state.. so i decided to not attempt a relationship with him and only speak about the baby. Well, our baby girl was born 5 months ago and ever since I had her I felt this pull toward him and wanting to be a family… so we started dating long distance since he is back in his home state now.. (5 and a half hours away) but I have made the last five trips with our little girl to see him because he doesn’t feel like driving here.. he continuously makes up excuses, and has told me unless i move there then our relationship is hopeless. I broke up with him for saying that and for not trying to see us… he seems completely unbothered. What do i do?

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

January 2, 2020 at 11:24 pm

Hey Mary so go into a limited no contact where you only reply to him if he asks about your child. If he doesnt then that tells you the sort of person he truly is. If you are not willing to move to him, and he is not willing to move to you then the relationship is going to be strained from the start. Read the articles on how to do limited no contact when you have children

Breanne Kraft

December 22, 2019 at 1:52 pm

My fiancé/BD were together for about 3 years. Before we got pregnant we briefly broke up but he came back and begged for me back; telling me he still wanted to marry me, build a future and have a family with me. We got pregnant a month later around our anniversary.
We weren’t in the greatest living situation and financially struggling so I think that is what caused him to suddenly change. He got angry with me and argued a lot and suddenly said he doesn’t love me the same way anymore. We worked it out a little and agreed to a break, we were technically still together but I will be living with my dad 10hrs away while he stayed. We wanted to improve ourselves for the baby.
Unfortunately he ended up cheating on me. He was also not improving at all since I left, he has gotten worse. To avoid being evicted with a lawsuit, and being deported his mistress said she would help him if they lived together. He told me he doesn’t love her, and as soon as he is able he will leave her. But she is paying all the bills and buying him gifts while he doesn’t work or has any responsibility.
It scares me because this isn’t like him at all. When he told me he was living with her we were done. He did tell me that he thought of me every time he was with her, that he wanted to be with me but he can’t right now. Before he told me about the cheating he would text me and flirt with me, he even said that he does still love me but he needs more time to figure out what he wants.
I was guilty of telling him how I loved him still and miss him, but he would just get angry or annoyed when I kept calling or messaging. But seeing how he is now, not even a man living with someone he can’t stand only because he isn’t taking care of himself, showed me he isn’t ready to be a father or be with me.
Baby is due in about 10 weeks, I’ve been trying to focus on her and embrace the possibility of being a single mom, but I still end up worrying about him or missing him. He has told me that he misses kissing me and having sex with me because he hasn’t enjoyed it with the other woman once. But because I kept bugging him on how I miss and still love him he gets angry and stops talking to me. Did I mess up any chance of making us a family again? With the NC rule work for me or am I too late? Is there a possibility he would come back to me?

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

December 22, 2019 at 6:02 pm

Hi Breanne, you do need to stop bugging your ex, really you do! Limited no contact and only inform him if he needs to know about the baby / pregnancy. During this time you need to remind yourself that he is telling you he wants you to leave him be – let him feel what life is life without you in it to miss you and consider how he feels about you is real or not. You have messed up in a way, but not too late to fix that and start following the EBR program now to give you, your best chance of getting him back

Deanna

December 19, 2019 at 1:59 pm

I was with my ex for 4 about to be 5 year. In the 2end year we had our first daughter who is 3 now, thangs were good till last year when he and I hit some ruff patches. Arguing, I was jealous over his co workers. When I was out of town he went to a bar and long stories short kissed another woman, we broke up, he continued to talk to her. Then wound up taking me back and lost contact with her when we found out we were expecting another child, thangs were fine for most of that year a few arguments hear and there and alot of stress.. finally we had our second daughter who is 3 months now. Around when she was a month the father totalled our only vehicle, and lost his good job, so now I’m stuck home all the time but he was still finding rides and a little work. One day I noticed he was texting alot but deleting the messages so I started assuming, he pulled away more and more till one day he just ended our relationship last month, he swore up and down there was no one else.. 2 weeks into the break up I told him I missed him and wanted to make it work. He flipped out on me, and wound up telling me he was seeing someone else already.. she left her man for him and he left me for herzdx basically. Well it’s been a month and he brags about how she has a job and is taking care of his fines and court stuff for him, and even tells me when shes around our children or whatever. He barely says anythang to me and ignores most of my text because she doesn’t want him talking to me at all unless it’s aboutthe kids. I did most of the parental stuff when we were together cause he never seemed interested in the responsibility.. but now hes all for 50 50 custody. Hes told me he hasnt loved me for a while and was pretending, and alot of other mean or hurtful stuff during this break up

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

December 22, 2019 at 4:52 pm

Hi Deanna this is a hurtful situation to be in and you do need to do a limtied no contact where you are not speaking with him for some time, only about the children and when you are supposed to meet for him to see them or bring the back to you etc. During which time you need to work on yourself so that you get over what you have had to go through during the relationship and the break up. His actions are hurtful, but take this time to work on becoming the Ungettable showing him that you do not need him, how you can handle the work / mom life by yourself. And if you still want him back at the end of the 45 days then you can start doing the being there method. All this information is on this website so it is there to help you apply it to your situation and break up

Jessica96

December 19, 2019 at 11:55 am

My ex and I are having a baby in may. We broke up 3 months ago but we’re still supposed to be exclusive and were working on getting back together. About a month ago I found out he was sleeping with someone else during our relationship and is now with her when she contacted me. I am a wreck and he is very openly claiming her on social media and introduced her to family while I’m sitting here alone waiting on the baby to come. He says he will not break up with her and our only chance to get back together is for her to break up with him. Am I a lost cause? I really want my family together and this is making me constantly depressed and feeling hopeless.

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

December 22, 2019 at 4:41 pm

Oh Jessica I am so sorry he has done this to you, if you want him back then you need to do the being there method which is going to be hard as it takes a lot of emotional control and being pregnant that is hard. For now you need to do a limited no contact where you only speak with him about the baby and other wise you avoid speaking with him. During which time you can focus on yourself and how to be happy and prepared for baby arrival. If he wants to be in babies life then he is going to have to see you from time to time and that is going to cause problems in his new relationship. So just focus on you for now.

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