The Simple 2 Step Method To Get Your "Baby Daddy" Back

392 thoughts on “Here’s How To Get Your “Baby Daddy” Back”

Aj

December 14, 2019 at 5:36 am

My ex and I were together for almost 4 years, he left less than 2 weeks before our anniversary. We have a three year old and I am pregnant with our second. I am still so inlove with him but he says we will never be together again but wants to remain good friends.. easier said than done.

I keep limited contact, don’t have him on social media and respond when it’s about our child or the pregnancy.

He seems very set in his decision to not work things out EVER. He says that I need to sort myself out, feels like there is a lot of projection. I know he still loves me, he’s told me that he has no intentions on being with anyone else and sleeping with anyone else doesn’t interest him. That he is happy on his own and it just being his kids and him in this life… Which breaks my heart and soul because I want it to be us 4. All of us under the one roof. I’m half way through my pregnancy and the thought of him not living with me when bub is here makes me ill with grief.. I just want my family back.

He has also said “just because we aren’t together, that doesn’t mean that I don’t care about you”… But it feels like I’m wishing for something that will never happen. I’m so heart broken.

How long do I even do limited contact for? Will he ever come back? How do I stop hurting… So many questions. I just want him back.

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

December 14, 2019 at 10:39 pm

Hi AJ, I am so sorry you’re going through this during a pregnancy, you are going to have to just try to control your emotions as much as you can. And work on yourself if you ex is telling you that he still cares about you but that you need to work on yourself and that you are projecting consider what it is he is referring to and what it is he feels is causing him to be this way towards you too. Do you argue a lot as a couple? It is a hard time going through a break up with children so it is great you are doing limited no contact but do not go longer than 30 days and in that time you need to show that you are working on yourself during this time so that he sees you are taking notice of what he has said his reason for leaving are.

Monica

December 13, 2019 at 6:01 pm

so I was dating my son’s father for 6 years and our 5th year together we had our son and a year of us having a baby and living together he decided to up and leave me and his son for another woman, I was devastated and it broke me down, I’ve never felt so heartbroken in my life , he has been with the girl for a year but on and off he’s been playing with my emotions saying he wants his family back and he doesn’t want to see me with another man and about three weeks ago he came to me crying and saying all the right things ,we ended up doing things I regret and after that he told me he wanted to go to therapy to try to get back the trust and I was all in it. but a week ago he turns around and tells me that he can’t see hisself with me and we grew apart and I found out a few days ago he’s back with the girl and they are living together. Is this some sort of mind game his playing or was I dumb for trustinG him again

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

December 15, 2019 at 8:58 pm

Hi Monica, I am so sorry he has done this to you, what he has done is made you a “option” to him. Now this is hurtful thing to hear and it is hard to understand as you have been together for 5 years and have a child. But when things go wrong with the other woman he is going to come back to you. Promise you the world and then when they both work it out, hell go back to her. He doesn’t want you with another man – because then he doesn’t have you as an option. I suggest you start dating and getting to know other men, and I promise you that your ex wont react well to this, he will be angry upset and jealous. But he will not fully leave the other woman unless you tell him he has to come back and mean it. Or leave you to live your life.

LaTonya

December 9, 2019 at 3:18 am

Hi, what do you do if you’re currently pregnant and living with your ex/baby daddy and you find out that he’s starting to date other people and you still love him and want him back. How do I go about the no contact thing if I live with him? Am I the hopeless “you’re never getting back together” case?

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

December 9, 2019 at 6:02 pm

Hi LaTonya, so you need to do what is called limited no contact where you talk about shared bills and responsibilities. Let him know any developments with the baby and thats all you can speak about, avoid sitting in the same room as him or spending more time than necessary. In that time you need to make it clear that other men are interested in you. Even though you are pregnant it doesnt mean you cant get to know other guys. And he wont like the fact of a possible other man around your child.

Genie

December 4, 2019 at 4:12 am

Hello so here is my situation…. I got pregnant 2 months after I met my BD. We broke up during my pregnancy and he started dating someone. This person finally found out about me after I told her. He finally decided to leave her and be with me after the baby was born. This was in 2012 when I gave birth. This girl never left his life (they stood in contact). Well we tried to be together, but it never worked out as he never understood me and he played the field. I loved him this whole time. We still was involved sexually here and there, but after 2015 we never got back officially. Well I started dating and met someone in another state, but still loved him and wished we would be together. In 2017 I found out he was dating the same girl he was with when I was pregnant (we never got along). I decided to move away to the other state with my new BF to find out the girl he was dating moved to the same state and he decided to get an apartment with her. So he worked in one state and had an apartment in the other state with this girl. I only live two hours away from them. Well during their relationship and mine I decided to move on, but he would hit me up with I still love you, I want to be with you…. so I decided to believe him. I told him to get an apartment for us and I would leave my current situation for him (this was in 2018). He ended up renewing a lease with his girl and this killed me. So currently I live with my BF and he lives with his GF and we still talk about being together. I’ AM just sick of the back and forth and him not proving he really wants to be with me and my daughter. I do love him and I would love to be with him (i want my family), but is there any chance? I have no idea what else to do anymore. I do feel I act desperate and he feels I need him and I’ll always want him so the respect is no longer there. Please help! What should I do?

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

December 6, 2019 at 9:35 pm

Hey Genie, so you need to do a limited no contact where you only speak about the shared child/ren you have and that is it for at least 30 days maybe 45 depending on how you feel by day 30. And then when you reach out, you need to be friendly and show you are not interested in talking emotionally or about getting back together just about something that you can have short conversation that is positive and you can end first.

Monica

November 28, 2019 at 5:44 pm

My ex and I have a baby boy who is 4 months old. We had been together for 3 years and things started going south when our boy was 2 weeks old. Don’t get me wrong, we had rough patches before but nothing like what was in store for us. Baby was unplanned and we hadn’t yet moved in together, but the assumption was that I would gradually move in with him so we could be a family. Anyway, we started fighting over our son all the time. Without going too much into detail as I’ll be here all night, what behaviours and rules I thought were common sense turned out not to be for him. The division of labour was unfair and he didn’t listen to a single word of my input nor did he care much for my emotions, wants and needs. We took a break and continued to fight over access arrangements for our son. Things seem to be settling now we’ve ironed out all the creases around our son using a parenting plan we are both happy with but I find myself missing him greatly. Whilst what I’ve described probably sounds terrible, I wonder if he just reacted badly to fatherhood and perhaps I ought to rethink the finality of this break. He doesn’t like to open up and communicate and it makes me quick to anger as disputes can last days or even weeks which isn’t healthy for our son, but I can’t help but feel that perhaps if I had done things differently or just let things go then maybe we wouldn’t be in this situation. He’s not made much of an effort to try and win me back over, but his family think he doesn’t know how to act now he’s dug himself into this hole with me. I want my family together so desperately, but where is the line? When is enough truly enough? What is forgivable and what is not? He makes out to me like he is doing fine and that hurts in more ways than he’ll ever imagine, especially since I have to see him weekly when he visits our son at my home. I want him to show me that he wants our family, I don’t want to be the one to make the first move as I always do because I feel that maybe I’m the only one holding on too tightly to something that has no future.

What am I supposed to do? Is it futile to hold out hope?

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

December 1, 2019 at 9:43 pm

Hi Monica, so you need to ask yourself do you want him back so you can be a family or do you want him back because you love him?

Having your first baby is hard going when you are both first time parents and it is a lot of trail and error on both you parts and you have to find a way to coparent well with each other. You will both have different ideas on how to raise a child as you were both raised differently by your own parents. Now as for getting back together, you are going to have to do something called limited no contact for about 30 days, leave him with the baby and you go have a break. Make sure everything he needs is in the baby bag. Make sure he knows where the bottles etc are kept if he is formula fed or if baby is breastfed, express some before he comes around. And LEAVE if only for an hour he needs that bonding time with his child and you need the break too. This leaving will make him worry about who and where you are going and make sure you look good when you do go out, appearing happy when you come back. If you give him clear image that you are not waiting around for him it should kick him into gear to want to win you back

Jasmine

November 27, 2019 at 3:58 pm

My BD currently lives 10hrs away. We had know each other since august 2015. We were on and off with no title due to him cheating and not being sure he wants to be with me because I have very bad emotional reactions. This whole time he and his other BM has been involved and at one point they had to come up and live with him due to financial struggles after we got through that I thought maybe we can finally be together. We become involved again and I end up pregnant. He moved out of town with his family and he said I want to be with you but idk just yet. He has a lot to deal with in relation to his other BM and family. I currently found out this past weekend that again they are living together. He says if for financial support to help get her back on her feet and it won’t be long. I asked if he sleeps with her in the same bed, he said yes.

I’m currently heartbroken because even after all the infidelity I still love this man. I have spoken to him for 4 days and he recently left me a message saying I’m guessing you don’t want to talk to me and I guess whatever you want me to know about the child you’ll let me know. I feel like he doesn’t care about our relationship and he is ok with me leaving. This relationship had me depressed and suicidal due to amount of trust and hope I put into it and the hope I had. He knows this. I have a therapist I speak to but it still hurts.

I’m not sure if it’s me or him anymore. What is the right thing to do. I still love him and was hoping him saying he wanted be with me was true. What do I do?

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

November 30, 2019 at 11:03 pm

Hi Jasmine, I think the best thing for you to do is limited no contact where you only speak to him about your shared children and nothing else for a while. He is telling you one thing but is doing another with his actions. He is keeping you as an option in my opinion while he plays happy families with the other woman. Does she know you are pregnant with his child again?

If you want to get emotionally and mentally strong you need to distance yourself from him and get back on your feet. Show him you do not need him in your life with the children and you have your situation under control. I would even consider dating because I can guarantee he wont like the thought of you being with someone else, even though he is sleeping in the same bed as her while telling you he wants you.

Chanel

November 26, 2019 at 6:26 pm

My situation is very different & very hard to figure out which measures to take

My child’s father & I would be 5yrs next week December 3rd unfortunately splitting this November 21st.

We have shared 1 son together, a daughter that passed away this year to SIDS & another daughter I am due with February 9th 2020.

We were both living w my mother & financially he was responsible for going half on all the bills while I remained a stay at home mom.
Our relationship has been pretty rocky in the past there has been cheating, lying, & retaliation involved.
Nov 21 he found out that during a 24hr period of a break after I found out he was cheating I decided to sleep w a friend of his, which left him enraged & he decided to pack a bag & leave, cleared the bank account we shared & left me w just enough to pay the rent & that’s it.

So far it has been only a week & there have been no word exchange. I have seen that he has gone on tinder, & other dating apps so I am at a loss of what to do & what exactly I want is.
Is there a chance to get this person back considering this is our history of back & forth?
Or was this news just the excuse to fleet from responsibilities right before the baby is due..
do I reach out to him about the financial needs for bills? Or just leave it completely no contact til he reaches out..

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

November 26, 2019 at 7:25 pm

Hi Chanel, taking into account all that has happened to you both during your relationship I wouldnt see it as excuse to leave because of the baby leaving, no. I think its the factor that you went to a friend of his while broken up. So even though he cheated on you, his friend has also hurt him right now. The taking the money from the account and leaving you without money however is not good. I would reach out to him and ask if he is willing to continue to help paying bills until you are in a position to do it without him and he just pay child maintenance (short term basis) while you stick to a limited no contact and work through the program you also have a shared responsibility to keep the roof over your childrens heads regardless of the outcome

Tee Shunta

November 20, 2019 at 9:36 pm

My ex and I already have a daughter together. He broke up with me around Christmas time last year, but we remained living together. We continue to do things as a couple and were still having sex. He was talking to other girls during our breakup, but I’m unsure if he was sexually active with any of them. Here recently I found out I was pregnant two weeks after I move out the home, because I couldn’t deal with the lying about where he was going when he would leave the house. After telling him about the pregnancy, he had mixed feelings, but suddenly he became adamant he wanted an abortion, but also said the decision was on me. After several weeks and my first dr appointment I decided to keep the baby. He has not been tentative with anything concerning the baby’s health, my health, doesn’t ask about appointments, and really act like I’m not even pregnant. No one in his family (which I’m very close too) is aware of the pregnancy. Yes, he still does his duties for our oldest, but I’m left to deal with the pregnancy struggles alone. I’m embarrassed and fearful of having another child with a man that don’t acknowledge he has another child on the way. I’m at a lost and need advice how to move forward in this type of situation.

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

November 24, 2019 at 12:41 am

Hi Tee, so with your situation you have moved out meaning you can do limited no contact. By the sounds of things he is quite happy to leave to do that, as of right now you are not going to be able to move on properly with someone else because he knows oyure pregnant with his child and probably knows you want to be in a relationship with him. You know he is a good father to your first child so I would assume he is going to do the same for the second. Your issue is you need to get him to want to get back with you. So do your best to follow the program and work on becoming Ungettable

Elle

November 17, 2019 at 6:46 pm

My ex and I had a baby early 2019 and we are expecting another child early 2020. He’s in the military and is on his way to a different state thousands of miles away. He will be living there for the next 5 years. The plan was for our daughter and I to stay behind, so that I would have help from my family since he’s about to leave for deployment and I don’t really know anybody in the new state. He broke up with me a couple of days ago though. Said that he loves me and cares about me deeply, but isn’t in love with me. He also let me know that he doesn’t want us to come there again, but that he will be there for me and the kids and that he will be here for the birth of our new child. I love this man so much. I am crushed and I don’t know what direction to go in. I just don’t understand how he could do this to me now… He said that there is no chance that we will ever get back together. Is there anything that I can do? Could these methods work for me? I really want my family together.

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

November 18, 2019 at 10:41 pm

Hi Elle so yes there is a chance but you are going to have to be strong which at this time is going to be hard for you considering youre about to give birth in a couple of months. Read the articles that are posted on this webstie about how to do the process when you have a child with your ex. And read about the limited no contact too

Elizabeth A

November 16, 2019 at 4:16 pm

So my situation is,
My ex and I moved in together one month into our relationship. We talked previously about wanting to start a family and when we moved in together, that’s all we did was try and have a baby. A few weeks later I found out I was pregnant. When he found out, he was so excited and he cried! Like tears of happiness. He would always tell me how excited he is to be a dad and that it was the only thing he ever wanted. He was an amazing father figure to my son (that’s not his) and loved my child. But after almost 4 weeks of moving in, he left me. Without warning. He always promised me he would never leave me, but he did. We planned our whole life together, talked about getting engaged, etc. We never really had fights, maybe two big ones but we got through them relatively quickly. That morning he was telling me how much he loved me. But he never came home from work. Then told me that night he’s staying at him moms. The next day, he came to our apartment with his mom to get his stuff out. He didn’t speak a word to me and blocked me on everything afterwards, including my number. He claims he still wants to be apart of the child’s life, but he also did tell me to have an abortion. These two things are confusing.. it was a planned pregnancy. I’m confused and I just want to be a family with him.

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

November 18, 2019 at 9:40 pm

Hi Elizabeth, this is a lot of pressure to have to deal with in a short amount of time so I would assume hes gotten scared of the responsibility. Plus he obviously had the support of his mother if they have chosen to not speak to you. For now your main focus is getting yourself, child and soon to be baby on your feet and able to manage with out him. Eventually he may come back around to the idea of being a family and together again but for now you need to NC him, I know you are blocked but the fact you are pregnant he will more than liekly reach out when he gets curious to what you have chosen to do with the pregnancy

Danielle

November 15, 2019 at 9:50 pm

Iv been reading to see if I find a situation like mine but I haven’t so here it is
Met my baby daddy 6 years ago
We dated for 4 years and then broke up but still slept together and always hung out like best friends. I ended up pregnant, he wasn’t very happy at first but by the end he had moved in with me and helped out as much as he could but he was still talking to other females and I’m pretty sure still sleeping around. Anyways now our daughter is here she’s 2 weeks old and we’re still “playing house” he wants to move out eventually but said I could move with him. I want to do the no contact rule but we’re still living together. It’s been about two years that we’re officially broken up but we still act like a couple and everyone is always confused about why we arnt together since we get along so well. I would give it a try if I knew he wanted it too but I just don’t feel like he does. How do I kick him out when i still rely on him financially? How do I do no contact rule with a newborn?

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

November 18, 2019 at 9:58 pm

Hi Danielle you can do a limited NC where you only speak about your child or bills etc. I would for now spend your time finding a way to not be financially dependant on him anymore. The fact you act like youre in a relationship but he is also talking to other women is the issue. You are going to have to directly explain how you are not going to be able to carry on while he is sleeping around. If he chooses to stay single then you need to go into a Limited NC

Rayna Hartman

November 14, 2019 at 4:20 am

My husband and I let a lot of stress take priority of our love life. We met got pregnant immediately, moved in together, miscarried-he has a chance to leave then but he stayed, adopted two dogs. We both had a child from another relationship prior to getting together. We were going to college throughout our relationship. Right before he finished school I got pregnant with our 3rd child and I was emotional so I left him feeling like the space would be great. We argued during the separation and then I returned by seducing him and being pregnant helped. I learn during our separation he had been with another woman and then we each had an affair before our daughters 1st birthday, we had a turbulent relationship. I graduated with my masters in May and due to financial disagreements I left a second time. I took our 3 children with me and kept them from him while I filed for divorce for 2 and a 1/2 months. I apologized-I begged, I claimed my love toward him. We dropped the divorce, however he stated he would rather work on himself and the kids instead of reconcile. She he wants to live apart he wants me to come back to the city where we had lived and I agreed. I think in a way was all a ploy to have me return to that area though when drunk he said that I would have to be in the same area as him to reconcile…he then said sober and drunk that there is no chance. He doesn’t want me to move in with him-he’s signed a 1 lease and has been dating. We have 3 kids together and he’s been the father to my oldest as well. I don’t want to be a single mother and I am desperate. I am working on myself but I can’t keep from talking to him. I am addicted to talking to him. I am so miserable without him because I deeply love him and finally recognize my faults.

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

November 15, 2019 at 12:23 am

Hey Rayna, so as much as oyu dont want to be a single Mam right now you do have to accept that you need to give him some space (No Contact) And in that time you do need to find some inner Momma strength to make everything somewhat easier for your children to deal with the changes that have happened. You also need to read about how to do a Limited No Contact and the Being there method

Jennie

November 11, 2019 at 8:46 pm

Do i still want him back? That question is really hard to answer. Part of me want a family for my son and i still love him but i do know that he not worth it for me. I better off without him. I just hard to say than do it. Another part is i want him to see what he had done to our family. I want him to see his mistake and the mess he created. I want him to regret since who he think he is to talk to me like that. He kept telling me he choose to leave me and dont want to stay with me. I gave him a son n he treat me like garbage.

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

November 12, 2019 at 8:26 pm

Hi Jennie, so yes it is much harder to make a decision like this when there is children involved. The best thing you can do is literally sit and think how are you going to be better parents for your son FIRST. And then if you and your ex can make the relationship work if you were to be together again. I do suggest letting him be single and you focus on making sure your son is happy with life with out father at home. Seeing you and your son happy without him around he is going to realise his mistake eventually

Jennie

November 10, 2019 at 7:58 pm

Hello,
Here is my situation. I married my ex for 6 years. We didnt have kid since he always gambler. We made us financial unstable. I finally decided to have kid with him after 6 years. Two months after, I gave birth to my son he told me he wanted a divorce with a reason i dont love him anymore. I told him ok fine since i dont want to force a person to stay with me. However, i found out he was talking to someone from other country. They were talking for while i was pregnant and claiming each other bf n Gf. Until now day he still giving himself an excuse because i dont love him that why he want to find someone to give him love. He still want to be friend w me and demand me to be nice to him. We always end up in an argument when we talk now. He say the way i think and act make him feel like he made the right decision. He think im too mean to him. He still claim himself as a nice guy and a good father. Now he come pick up the kid 1 a week. I was wondering should i talk to him again and have a family time together with him. Make him see what he is missing out as a family?

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

November 10, 2019 at 9:26 pm

Hi Jennie, what you have here is a narcissist who can not see wrong in himself but will blame you for it all because he does not want to be the “bad guy”. Do you want this guy back? I do say stop arguing with him as it is not good for your baby to be brought up in that situation, you are better off just walking away from him and leaving him with the baby when it is his time with him.

Bryana

November 7, 2019 at 12:03 pm

My baby daddy and I broke up when I found out I was pregnant. We were on the verge of breaking up prior to finding out I was pregnant because of the way he started treating me. On finding out I was pregnant, we decided to make it work, spoke about our differences and decided to even get married before the baby was born. He was excited about the fact that he was becoming a father. he really wanted us to get married before the baby arrives to the extent that the baby focus shifted to marriage.
Hormones were flying all over the place, so asked him to let us just focus on the baby for now and worry about the marriage aspect after the arrival. We had an argument and I called off the relationship, he gladly accepted and asked that he be apart of the child’s life. I was so upset, I really didn’t want to end the relationship because I love him. On that same day of the break up I went back to apologise but he had already made up his mind it was over and there was no coming back to me. All efforts to get him back only landed us in having sex throughout the pregnancy.
The baby has arrived and he visited every single day throughout the first few months. Now he sees the child ones a week. He isn’t even attracted to me no more. For the sake of the child I try to make him feel comfortable when he comes over but that isn’t yielding anything. Is he just truly over me or there’s a possibility of a comeback?

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

November 8, 2019 at 10:14 pm

Hi Bryana, so unless you are breastfeeding he needs to be alone with the baby for a while ( this is your chance of a break too) and you need to also show him you are not waiting for him to come back anymore. So I would arrange regular contact with access to the baby but you do not need to be around for this. He is just as much the Dad as you are the Mam. You not sticking around will have an impact on him too. Because he will wonder where you are going, who with and why do you look so nice. So make sure you keep yourself composed but always try to look your best too.

Brittany

November 6, 2019 at 12:03 pm

I am 8 months pregnant and have been on and off with my baby daddy for 2 years. Just last month he went to go see his other daughter and slept with his daughter’s mother. 3 weeks go by and all we did was argue so he moves out and says he doesn’t want a relationship with me anymore. Now I’m penciled in to be induced 2 weeks from now…I want to do the no contact to see if he realizes what he has done but don’t know if it’s the right thing to do. Should I allow him to be present for the birth of our daughter?

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

November 8, 2019 at 10:50 pm

So, in this situation if you are happy for him to be there at the birth let him know the date – but that is it. Dont have a conversation about anything more than the birthing plan for now. Then after baby is born you can arrange what days and times he gets to come see baby etc. But you need to stick to a Limited No Contact when baby is here. You can read about all of this on the website

Vee

November 6, 2019 at 1:51 am

Interesting read. Not sure how much of it would apply to me… here’s my situation:

Me and my “baby daddy” were never in a relationship. We kinda just texted here and there for a few weeks until we finally hooked up and thus, creating a child together. He was absent for a while and now he wants to support and I guess co-parent. I can appreciate him finally taking responsibility! However… We never got a chance to really get to know each other and part of me just wants to hate him for leaving me alone while pregnant and the other part of me is still overly attracted to him. We’ve talked more in the past 3 weeks than we’ve ever talked before our son was even conceived… but it’s me initiating most of the conversations ever since he reached out.

How do I throw hints that I want to initiate a relationship and how do I get him to do the pursuing?

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

November 9, 2019 at 1:27 am

To get him to be more open to the idea of a relationship with you, you need to do a push and pull theory where you flirt and friendly so he questions if he has you or not, and also having some social life where you are around guys who are possible love connection where he will get worried / jealous if they are getting your attention

Penelope

November 2, 2019 at 12:23 pm

I’m 12 weeks pregnant. My ex broke it off with me when we were in the midst of working out if we were going to keep it. We were going well before the pregnancy. After a month and a half of bad communication and not getting anywhere with our conversations, he said he didn’t think we could make it through this because “we are too different. And by “too different” he meant things like, he likes going to the pub, and I don’t. That sort of grasping-at-the-straws move. He asserted that it was “my choice” if I wanted to keep the baby, but that he didn’t see how that made sense because “how would you take care of it?”. When I asked him to, for a second, think of a realistic scenario if I wanted to keep it, then (since he had removed himself completely from the decision making process), would he want to be part of the child’s life or not? To which he responded, of course he would.

A couple of days later, we met up to have a chat with an abortion counselor over the phone together (this was scheduled weeks before as part of the “decision making process”). They never called. I told him my decision, that I’m keeping it and he could take all the time he needed to process it and let me know how little or not he wants to be involved. He broke down and sobbed.

I left and we haven’t spoken since except when he’s texted me once to tell me he’d told his mom about the split and that he’ll tell her about the baby in person; and another time to express his concern for my family back at home due to a natural disaster. I responded both times in short spurt answers.

We’re also both in our early to mid-30s. I still need to get my stuff from our apartment as I left immediately after we split. Do I update him on appointments? Or do I just keep from contacting him at all until the baby is born or something?

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

November 9, 2019 at 12:53 am

So yes you keep him updated on appointments – but just text him telling him the date, time and location. It is on him if he is going to make an appearance the rest of the time dont speak with him. If he doesnt turn up but asks how things went just reply with basic information. (“Good”…. “everything is fine”) You need to do a limited no contact for at least 30 days, and then you restart contacting him as a friend and try to build up the connection as a friend first. It is going to be tough with your emotions and the things you are going to go through for the rest of your pregnancy but enjoy it as much as you can

Gummy bear

November 1, 2019 at 9:13 am

me and my “fiancé”/ baby daddy broke up this week, we have done nothing but argue and get under each other’s skin, he’s even gone to the extreme of blocking me on everything and emptying OUR bank account so I can’t get anything for our daughter. Is it too late to start the no contact rule? Do you think there is a chance after all we have both said of getting it to work again?

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

November 1, 2019 at 11:04 pm

I would keep to a limited nc where you only speak about the welfare of your child. The fact hes withdrawn money to leave you with you is very low move on his part! It is possible to get him back but you need to follow the program proeprly and complete a 30 day limited NC

Amanda

October 26, 2019 at 6:31 am

Okay so…. my situation is a little different… I’m due in 3 weeks and still living with my ex.. he constantly tells me he wants me out… his family hates me and doesn’t want anything to do with our baby bc they want no ties to me… basically about 6 months ago I caught him talking to his other baby mama about meeting up and having sex and I was so hurt that I was absolutely hateful to him for about 4 months to the point I pushed him to try to kill himself. He hung himself and I had to cut him out of the tree after that he started slowly changing and not wanting to be with me… the last 2 months I have literally kissed his ass and done everything for him and it’s like the nicer I am the more he doesn’t want me…. he hasn’t done anything for our son either.. I’ve bought everything we have for him so far… like I said before though, I’m due in 3 weeks and still living with him but he wants me out ASAP. WHAT DO I DO? I’m so lost… please help!

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

October 27, 2019 at 9:59 pm

Hi Amanda, I would suggest moving out and getting your own place as soon as you possible can of course with baby due any day now it is hard but you need to give you both some space as what you’ve just described is NOT healthy for you your ex or the children to live in. The fact you are sharing children is going to mean you will be seeing him again but right now the both of you need time apart and you need to allow him to heal. The fact things have gotten as bad as they did for him to take such actions I would suggest maybe focusing on getting him feeling healthy again rather than getting him back this is not a relationship that is going to work if he is feeling the need to take his own life.

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