The Definitive Guide For Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back

8,582 thoughts on “The Complete Guide For Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back”

Sophia

November 18, 2013 at 12:54 pm

I’m in the nc period,but his birthday is Friday, is it ok to text him happy birthday?

admin

November 18, 2013 at 7:07 pm

I wouldnt do it but its up to you really.

Olivia

November 18, 2013 at 6:06 am

Hey Chris,

My bf and I have been dating for 4 months. The first 3 months was filled with fun, but during the last three weeks, we consistently argued every other day. Every time we tried hashing the argument out, he claimed he could forget these arguments, but eventually broke up with me because “the fighting got to his mood on a daily basis.” I finally realized my urge to argue over little things were bad habits acquired from my old relationship. I have been trying to change, I really have. I asked for him back a few days ago, he said he felt happier this past week by himself because it was chill and there were no arguments. We’re hanging out later this week, and I want him back very badly. I’m thinking about winning him back by showing him we could have a lot of fun together again. Do you think this will work, or I’m trying to fix an impossible relationship? Thank you Chris!

admin

November 18, 2013 at 6:49 pm

I think its worth a try before you completely give up.
Olivia

November 18, 2013 at 6:14 am

I don’t know if this helps, but I wanted to add that he said he still loves me.

Jl

November 18, 2013 at 12:55 am

My ex and I broke up about 6 months ago because I wanted a relationship and he was planning on moving out of the country and “didn’t want to hurt me” he had also been through a Nast break-up with a long-term girlfriend and he didn’t want to end up with the same scenario with me. I pushed things to get serious (which I regret) and he backed off. We had a pretty serious discussion when we broke up and he said at one point “maybe I should just write it off as my loss (ouch)”. He wanted to be friends but I couldn’t. I did a month of no-contact and texted him to wish him a happy birthday. Since then we have been hanging out as friends during which he has expressed interest in meeting my mother (never wanted to before – yes hindsight red flag) and my friends. He has also told me he likes hanging out with me more now than when we were dating (friends done?). The. He invites me to the city for a night so I can see friends that are in town and he’s driving. We end up staying together in the hotel And both took it to another level. I don’t know if these are signs things are moving back towards ratio ship or if he is taking advantage of the situation. He wants to hang out all the time and is always texting me. And I am confused. I still have feelings for him and I feel like I should tell him, but my need to talk about things pushed him away initially. Not sure how to proceed.

admin

November 18, 2013 at 6:15 pm

Well, have you tried anything on this page yet?
Jl

November 18, 2013 at 12:56 am

Also … He’s no longer planning on moving as soon as he thought.

Anonymous

November 17, 2013 at 10:56 pm

Hi, just wondering, what if your ex doesn’t try to contact you throug the 30 days no contact period? (Me being the one trying to get the ex back)

admin

November 18, 2013 at 6:04 pm

That is what I wrote this for: https://www.exboyfriendrecovery.com/the-male-mind-during-the-no-contact-rule/

Justine

November 17, 2013 at 6:01 pm

Hey Chris,

I had a relationship that ended a couple of nights ago after my boyfriend had been drinking a bit. He called me to come over and said that he really wanted to see with me and be with me. My mom was visiting so I told him no. Earlier that week he told my roommate he wasn’t ready to meet my mom and that he didn’t love me. My roommate told me this and he asked me that night if she told me anything. He then came over and after telling him I love him (he put me in a terrible position to say it when I wasn’t even sure I meant it) he proceeded to tell me he couldn’t love me because he doesn’t love himself. Said that I couldn’t be in a relationship like that. I agreed but also said it was hard because I really like him and want to be with him. He said he really likes me too. Everything was really good between us; both of us had stated on various occasions that we were really happy. We connect extremely well both intellectually and sexually. I don’t want to give up because I feel like it would be a mistake, but I want him to accept his past. I was caught off guard by the breakup and wasn’t entirely honest with how I felt about him. Now I’m stuck with thinking about that for a month so it seems. He thinks he is an asshole but he isn’t at all. He is extremely kind and caring and was there for me and even for my close friends in tough times. He told me more than he has ever told anyone in his life and often hinted of a future together. What do you reccomend I do?

admin

November 18, 2013 at 5:30 pm

well what have you done? NC?
Justine

November 18, 2013 at 11:16 pm

I have been doing the no contact rule since that night. I haven’t said anything to him and he hasn’t said anything to me. I have noticed that he has been looking at my story posts on snapchat..I just want to know how much hope there is considering the nature of our break up.
admin

November 19, 2013 at 6:27 pm

I think there is hope but don’t get overly excited. This process will take time.
Justine

November 19, 2013 at 7:25 pm

I’m really conflicted now. He asked today to get his hoodie back. I told my friend and she texted him from her phone telling him she would give him his things. He responded by saying that the things weren’t that big of deal and that he just wanted to talk to me. After that he texted me saying: “I owe you more of an explanation than I gave you. If you want that let me know. I’m sorry I reacted the way I did. It was immature and disrespectful and you’re better than that.” A little while later he texted me saying: “It’s not over, we just need to talk.” I’m so confused by all of this considering he broke it off with me. How should I respond? Nothing was really wrong with our relationship other than the fact that he was scared to commit. Do I talk to him or keep the NC? Maybe just tell him I need more time?
admin

November 20, 2013 at 5:18 pm

Keep the NC..
Justine

November 19, 2013 at 6:39 am

He texted me tonight said, “Hey.” I didn’t respond and an hour and a half later he said, “Well just wanted to talk, but I understand. Hope you had a good game.” Is this a good sign?
admin

November 19, 2013 at 7:07 pm

Yes I think it is.

Andrea

November 17, 2013 at 4:51 pm

Should I text him happy birthday next week when doing the no contact?

admin

November 17, 2013 at 9:24 pm

I usually don’t recommend that.

Lisa

November 17, 2013 at 11:20 am

Hi Chris,

I emailed you but thought this would be better to get through you. Could you delete my comment that was posted under this section please? It was posted on November 15, 2013 at 9:31 am. I have a fear that someone I know may find it. Thanks

admin

November 17, 2013 at 8:52 pm

It is. I will do my best to delete it!

Maria

November 17, 2013 at 6:49 am

My boyfriend just broke up with me because i lied to him, wasnt the first time and i do iit because i dont want him getting mad at me. Im planning to follow your guide but what if you see your ex often at church?

admin

November 17, 2013 at 8:26 pm

Do limited contact in that case.

bakya

November 16, 2013 at 4:53 pm

N also wud like to mention that, in this 4 yrs frndship period, there were times we really felt close to each other. But some how he ends up saying de same thing that we cant get married . He has been persistent abt this thing. I dont know why, no matter how much I changed myself , it did n work out. Do u think I still have a chance?
bakya

November 16, 2013 at 4:01 pm

Hi, my boyfriend n me met 6 yrs ago, we were dating for around a year or so. After that we had issues abt he being close to his best friend .close in de sense not cheating. That gurl have feelungs gor him too. I guess my bf doesn loved her, but he always feels sad for her, n gets her back all de times. So we had fights , n he started saying lets break up. Frommy side he is a really nice person,I wanna have my future with him. Even after he wanted de break up, we remained as best friends, for de past 4 years.as we r class mates we had that chance till now. Now college is over , we r now living in different cities, but I kept calling him , texting him. Which went to vain. Becauze he just wants me as his best frnd, he says we cant live our life fighting all de time. But I still

admin

November 16, 2013 at 11:15 pm

Have you read the LDR guide ?
Larae

November 17, 2013 at 5:24 pm

Hi admin so can u tell me if u r a boy or a girl I’m just wondering bcz when I 1st saw ur name I thot it said Adam but lol ccan u tell me if ur a boy or a girl plz
admin

November 17, 2013 at 9:40 pm

I am a male.
bakya

November 17, 2013 at 7:29 am

What is that? Pls explain
admin

November 17, 2013 at 8:27 pm

What is what?
bakya

November 18, 2013 at 5:46 am

What is ldr guide?
admin

November 18, 2013 at 6:40 pm

long distance relationship guide.

olyholy

November 16, 2013 at 3:13 pm

Hey, I’ll keep it brief

So I didn’t date my boyfriend for very long. He ended things around 4 months because he said he didn’t feel anything. He later amended that to “there are moments but it isn’t enough.”

I genuinely care for this man and think he’s one of the good ones so it was important for me to tell him that. His response was “Thanks, this wasn’t easy and I want you to know you’re an amazing person. I did have feelings toward you and cared for you. Don’t change anything you’re doing.”

He doesn’t have much relationship experience and I personally think he got scared. Do you think there’s hope for me to get him back?

admin

November 16, 2013 at 11:11 pm

He probably was scared. I think there is hope. Tell me what you have done so far?
olyholy

November 17, 2013 at 3:14 am

We met in person for the breakup and before leaving I told him “I understand you’re an independent person but that doesn’t mean you have to be afraid to let someone in,” I kissed him on the cheek and left.

After that, I didn’t contact him for 5 days which is when I sent a text saying “Hey, I was thinking about you and wanted to say thanks for handling things the way you did. I appreciated your maturity and even though I’m sad things between us didn’t go as I hoped, I just wanted to say, you’re one of the good ones. Thanks for showing me there are still good men in the world.”

That’s when he replied he had feelings for me and that the breakup wasn’t easy.
admin

November 17, 2013 at 8:12 pm

Well thats a good thing right? That he has feelings for you still after all this drama?
olyholy

November 18, 2013 at 4:07 am

It is a good thing. My only problem is his use of past tense.

“You are an amazing person. I did have feelings toward you and cared for you.” I know he cares but I can’t tell if the feelings faded.

Either way, I’m still going to try to get him back! He made my life better. I can’t let him get away without a fight 🙂

Krista

November 16, 2013 at 2:33 pm

Chris,

My boyfriend and I had a very bad drunken fight last weekend. The last time we had communication was the Monday after, just a few texts saying he needed space, wasn’t ready to talk to me, and did not want to me with me. Since then, I have not contacted him but it has been extremely hard not to.

It’s hard because I still don’t know where we stand. Did he really mean what he said, or was he just upset? We didn’t have any issues before so the fight and the break up came as a huge shock. I feel that since we had a long term relationship (over 2 years) we owe it to ourselves to have a discussion, even if it does end up in terminating the relationship.

Is it okay to ask him to have a discussion about what happened/our relationship? I don’t think I can’t wait 30 days to figure out where we stand as a couple. And what are some good things to say to him to get him to give me a second chance? (The fight was my fault)

admin

November 16, 2013 at 11:09 pm

Well, have you read the entirety of this guide?

Penelope

November 16, 2013 at 1:41 pm

Hey Chris, me and my boyfriend of a year and a half broke up because “he is a senior and wants to be single for awhile.” We also started fighting alot in the last 2 months of our relationship. He said he didn’t know if we would ever get back together, but maybe. When we broke up I did freak out and beg him, and then we got back together a few days later. The second time we broke up, I was very calm and said that we should be friends. We did not talk for about a month, but then I kind of had a bad night and texted him about wanting him back and being sad. I really miss him like hell. Every time I talk to other guys (like literally just have conversations with them) he gets really pissed off and calls me a bitch. He doesn’t want me to be with anyone else, but he doesn’t want to be with me. I have been trying to be really happy and be with my friends, but it is hard. I have been really depressed. It has been two months, and he has started consistently talking and hooking up with a new girl. He says he “isn’t planning on dating her or anything.” Besides continuing having fun with friends, not talking to him, and acting happy, what can I do? He just gets really mad when I try to make him jealous because during our relationship sometimes I was “flirty with other guys, so obviously nothing has changed.” I don’t know how to make him miss me, and he already knows that I’m really sad about the break up and want him back. The other day I ran into him and I acted really nonchalant and friendly, like nothing had changed. I kept the conversation short and jokey. I feel like a second choice, and he has all of the control. I’d really appreciate some advice, thanks.

admin

November 16, 2013 at 11:06 pm

Well what have you done so far? NC?

Mar

November 16, 2013 at 10:24 am

Hi Chris,

Great advice! Definitely have to learn the NC rule. I’m currently on day 4 because I had to start again. I would’ve been on day 7.

My ex and I met online in July and had really amazing chemistry off the bat-our first conversation online was over 12 hours straight! We waited a week to meet and the day we were supposed to meet he went MIA. After a week I finally emailed him to see what was going on bc we ha such amazing chemistry and hadn’t met so I didn’t understand what went wrong. He told me he had been going through a lot with work (he’s a sheriff deputy for the la county sheriffs dept) and that his ex had contacted him and he didn’t want to involve me or lead me on. He apologized for not contacting me and at that point I left it as “just friends” bc I know what it’s like to break up with someone you’ve been with for a long time (they were on and off for 3 yrs) but the next day he started texting me again and it was definitely not in a “just friends” way. I went with it and again amazing chemistry. We met 3 days later. In person our chemistry continues to be amazing. After a week, I notices he started getting distant, texting less or not at all and eventually he told me he thought things were moving too fast and he just got out of a bad relationship and although he thought he was ready to start a new relationship and can see himself with me, he’s just not ready.
I step back and we don’t contact for 2 wks. I ship his shirts back-no note, just the shirts in a fed ex package bc I wanted to use the NC rule but he ended up contacting me and asked to see me. Being so desperate, and missing him I met up with him-same amazing chemistry and he even picked up where we left off; he called me babe, told me I park in my “usual spot.” and then again after a few days didn’t hear from him for 3 days. I told him finally that I can’t sit around and wait for him to make up his mind about me yet I still want him back. He replied and apologized for making me feel bad and blamed it on the demands of his job. I don’t expect a txt or call from him every minute but to communicate with me about what’s going on rather than me thinking he didn’t bother was what I thought he would’ve done. I haven’t heard from him since last sat but I did txt him on tues and nothing.

Is there even any hope for me to hope? Third times a charm? I still see and feel the potential from that amazing chemistry we have.

Thanks for your insight.

Shelby

November 17, 2013 at 5:28 pm

This sounds just like my ex, accept the thing about his ex calling. Ha his name isn’t Andrew is it?
Mar

November 18, 2013 at 8:25 am

No, his name starts with an “M”.

Thanks Chris. I am on day 6 tomorrow will be day 7. And I reread the section about what to do with myself during the NC period. Ironically I dyed my hair today but I do plan on going to the gym tomorrow and drinks with my girlfriends later this week.
admin

November 18, 2013 at 7:05 pm

Sweet LOOKING GOOD!
Mar

November 20, 2013 at 5:51 am

I feel silly asking but my ex is from Boston and I know he isn’t able to be home for thanksgiving. He has no family out here but does have a roommate. I was the last to txt him and he didn’t reply. I wanted to txt him on thanksgiving, is it a bad idea?
Mar

November 20, 2013 at 5:52 am

By the way I’m on my 8th it 9th day of NC. If I txt him for thanksgiving id be breaking the NC rule
admin

November 20, 2013 at 5:46 pm

Don’t text him then
Mar

November 21, 2013 at 3:27 am

Okay. I won’t!
admin

November 16, 2013 at 10:12 pm

You can’t really learn the NC rule you just can kind of do it hahahahaha.
Mar

November 17, 2013 at 9:20 am

Touché. I think some of it is bc he may have gotten scared? When he brought up his most recent past relationship he used the word “draining” to describe it. I’m thinking he just doesn’t want to put himself in a situation like that again.

I’m now on day 5 of the NC going on day 6.
What should I do? Is there any hope?
admin

November 17, 2013 at 8:42 pm

Sure there is hope just use this time to focus on yourself.

Jen

November 16, 2013 at 1:30 am

hi ive been using limited contact but im in a situation where my ex is the only person that can drive me to an event he is also going too. we’ve been “friends” and he gives me rides every couple of days for classes we go to together but this other event i need a ride for is like an outside event and isnt something he has to give me a ride unlike the other situation where he takes me to class we both go to. im not sure if this is making sense? but for this im going to have to text him to go with him would so do i have to restart the 30 days? like he said he would give me a ride if i couldnt find one. i feell like doing this im getting more and more friendzoned. already bc i cant do no contact its killing me. and i literally see so much of him still

admin

November 16, 2013 at 9:49 pm

No I don’t think you have to restart it.
Jen

November 17, 2013 at 12:50 am

Ok thanks but im in such a dilemma bc i do limited contact instead of no contact i feel like im being put into the friend zone bc its not like he texts me so i cant even ignore his texts and because he sees me SOOOO many times a week i feel so hopeless. im just getting jealous of small things in his life bc im constantly with him i notice everything without being able to move on. its hard to focus on myself with limited contact but i have no choice. any tips?
admin

November 17, 2013 at 7:56 pm

Maybe be more limited with him I guess.
Jen

November 19, 2013 at 1:55 am

things were going so well but he kissed me today and after the kiss he said that he was sorry and that we’re still not getting back together. do i restart the 30 days limited contact or should i just give up now.
admin

November 19, 2013 at 6:39 pm

Only give up if you want to. Do you want to?
Jen

November 19, 2013 at 10:29 pm

no but ive been doing limited contact for a month but its hard bc in my situation i cant fully do the 1 month no contact. and after he kissed me and stuff he kind of made it clear that hes young and he doesnt want to be tied don by a relationship or even a girlfriend. im thinking right now he wants to meet many girls not one. if i tried the 30 day limited contact again do u think itll work this time around?
admin

November 20, 2013 at 5:32 pm

Impossible to say but I think it is worth a try if you do.
Jen

November 20, 2013 at 9:40 pm

we fought today and he said hes so sick of me going crazy on him. im gonna try the 30 days but ive never seen him so disgusted by me before. i feel terrible
admin

November 21, 2013 at 6:28 pm

Definitely do it and try not to slip up.

Shelby

November 16, 2013 at 12:38 am

I can’t find my post to see your response 🙁

admin

November 16, 2013 at 9:29 pm

I can’t either ahhhhhh.

Shelby

November 15, 2013 at 11:42 pm

Hey it’s me again. Remember me? I was the girl who was with the army guy who made commitments then bailed. I broke early and contacted him after three weeks. He basically told me that we aren’t friends and he doesn’t talk to people who aren’t his friends…and what I need to get through to myself is that we aren’t friends and that’s that and to stop trying to talk to him. I told him I just wanted to see how he was and he didn’t need to be mean. He repeated himself with some other harsh words. I didn’t have time to respond so half an hour later he wrote “have a nice life Shelby” I fell apart and asked him how he could do that and why is he acting like I did him wrong and that this was no way to live or treat each other. I asked him if he never wants to hear from me again then I need him to say it….and no response. So after five days of crying I wrote this “hey Andrew, I’ve been doing a lot of thinking. I understand that our relationship needed to end, and it’s for the best, and I can finally accept it. I’m gonna take some time for myself to really reflect and make sure I don’t repeat my mistakes. I’m sorry I lost control of my emotions the past few months. If anything take it as a compliment 🙂 I have never been that vulnerable infrint of someone before so I must of had a lot of trust in you. I know you never want to talk to me or hear from me again and I understand. I’m going to respect your wishes and not contact you again. Just know that I do value the time we had together and I will never forget you. Truly wishing you the best for your life. Love always, Shelby No need to respond”
Then I blocked him on fb and deleted his contact info. I’m not playing games, I am truly hurting. The fact that he never wants to speak to me again hurts so bad. I still don’t know why he left. I don’t know what to do or if he’ll ever speak to me. Feel hopeless and scared, please help

admin

November 16, 2013 at 9:27 pm

Are you thinking about trying hthe NC rule on him?

admin

November 15, 2013 at 5:56 pm

I don’t think its hopeless.

But I do think it will require some work.

Can I ask you if you have ever done a full 30 day NC period?

olyholy

November 16, 2013 at 3:20 pm

I have with an ex, now good friend. I plan on going on dates and not contacting my current ex for a month.
Shelby

November 16, 2013 at 12:39 am

No I failed. I tried and cracked at three weeks. Start over?
admin

November 16, 2013 at 9:30 pm

Yes I think so 🙁
Shelby

November 17, 2013 at 10:51 am

Yes you think so as in start over with no contact rule?
admin

November 17, 2013 at 8:44 pm

I do..
Shelby

November 17, 2013 at 5:25 pm

Whenever I tell someone our story they tell me he must have cheated or that there must be another girl. Now, every single ex I have has cheated on me. And you can sense things like that. I truly don’t think he cheated. Is it stupid of me to think he didn’t cheat?
admin

November 17, 2013 at 9:41 pm

No but I do think that you need to look at the situation logically and come to the conclusion and not emotionally.
Shelby

November 16, 2013 at 12:40 am

Is there a reason why he’s so mean, he’s acting as if I wronged him, I swear I didn’t.
admin

November 16, 2013 at 9:31 pm

Some guys are just like this…

Stephani

November 15, 2013 at 5:38 pm

My boyfriend broke up with me a week ago today we had been together for a year.we had a fight becus I tend to have attitude an we bicker over little things. He decided to just be friends an see how things go. I thought bout the no contact but I have no car to get bak n forth to wrk so helps when he can. Ive been changing my attitude an ways. He says hes seeing a change and wants to get bak togthr but also doesnt knw. What do I do? I want him bak an want him to give me a chance

admin

November 16, 2013 at 7:52 pm

Well give him a chance then.

Darshini

November 15, 2013 at 12:39 pm

He said he cant see any future because of our issues and later he got confused about what he felt for me. I held on to him begging and crying for 3 months but eventually he did not change his mind to stay with me. So one day i asked him to do whatever he wants and i will accept it. After this, he dint call for a week so i understood he so t want me. Now after 10 days, he has started commenting on my pictures and he caller my friend to say he does not feel anything for me but feels guilty if what he did to me.also he called me once and cut it before i pick up and when i texted him back, he said he called me to wish me luck for my exams. I dont understand what he wants but i am following the no contact rile since 10 days. Are there any hopes that he still has feelings for me and wants to get back or is it all just because of his guilt?

admin

November 15, 2013 at 8:09 pm

Yes there is hope just be patient.

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8,582 thoughts on “The Complete Guide For Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back”