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The Complete Guide For Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back
How To Make Him Miss You After A Breakup
The Ungettable Girl
The No Contact Rule (The Definitive Guide)
The Male Mind During The No Contact Rule
The Male Mind AFTER The No Contact Rule
What Your Ex Boyfriend Says Vs. What He Really Means
Here’s Exactly What He’s Thinking During The No Contact Rule
What To Do If Your Ex Boyfriend Blocks You
Signs My Ex Wants Me Back
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Post categories
Jen
November 9, 2013 at 3:42 pm
what happens where ur in a situation where ur ex HAS to give u rides? like its impossible to find another ride. should i just give small talk in the car a couple times a week?
admin
November 10, 2013 at 1:16 am
Well you are going to have to do Limited Contact.
Martha
November 9, 2013 at 2:05 pm
Chris,
I am feeling so lost and confused right now. My bf left on November 1, he text me and said he bought a ticket home which is in Alaska, he was only here in Texas supporting me in my career. We were together 3 years. I can’t help but blame myself, I let my emotions get in the way and I yelled at him and called said things to him you don’t say to someone you care about. He said that he has had enough. He has ignored me till yesterday when he text me and said he is never stepping a foot in Texas again. I feel as if a part of me has hope, he hasn’t changed anything on Facebook, but I think that’s just false hope for me. He flew half way around the globe, and I am afraid I will really lose him if I intimate NC. I blame myself that I have chased him away. I don’t want to lose him and throw 3 years away, not to mention my son absolutely adores him. I doubt he will come back because his family needs him, however I would be willing to move there. I tried to call him and he won’t even take my calls. I don’t want to give up, and just not sure what to do.
admin
November 10, 2013 at 1:14 am
No you won’t lose him. You should read this: https://www.exboyfriendrecovery.com/the-male-mind-during-the-no-contact-rule/
Martha
November 10, 2013 at 9:16 am
I believe he is the angry one, and I think he got a new phone. How does all this work when he has moved out of state, because there are no chances of randomly bumping into him. I think he is just too upset with me, he sent me an email on the second day he left and said he was confused & doesn’t care what I have to say, I just have a hard time believing he just stops having feelings in one day. I was thinking of going to visit him, so that we can talk about this in person.
admin
November 10, 2013 at 10:02 pm
Well that might not be the best idea but if you feel its best then go for it.
Lolyn
November 9, 2013 at 4:54 am
Hi! By the way I sent you a message hours ago.
I really want to know if I broke the rule of no contact. After a few months of having little talks and chat, my ex bf and I agreed to have no communication a few days ago and then he suddenly called me a few days later asking if everything is okay and that he is there if I needed any help. Of course I answered his question and I told him that if he can also call me if he needed any help.
Did I broke the no contact rule? And was that just a friendly call? He sounded really sad.
admin
November 10, 2013 at 12:54 am
You did but maybe instead of starting over you can just add an extra week on to the tally.
Lolyn
November 10, 2013 at 5:57 am
So it’s ok that I can first contact him after a week? Is that ok? We have only been 3 or 4 days of not contacting each other when he suddenly called.
admin
November 10, 2013 at 9:56 pm
How long have you been in NC as a whole again?
Lolyn
November 11, 2013 at 5:13 am
If i’ll count from the day we started no contact disregarding the day he called until now, it would only be 1 week of no communication with each other as a whole. Can I call or talk to him these next few days? Or should i really wait for 30 days?
admin
November 11, 2013 at 6:30 pm
You should really wait for the 30 days.
Lolyn
November 13, 2013 at 1:52 pm
By the way, before we had an arguement and decided to go on NC, we had a date on where he told me he still loves me but he’s not yet ready to take me back. Whenever I remember that, I really feel i screwed it up and now we are on NC. I’m just really confused on what to do right now.
What do you think about what he said to me?
Should I continue NC?
admin
November 13, 2013 at 8:41 pm
Yes mam.
Lolyn
November 10, 2013 at 6:30 am
I’m sorry I thought you meant that I can contact him first a week after today. You meant I would just add a week on the 30 days of no contact.
You see we both agreed on the no contact thing for us to have the time to know what we want. I’m scared that he’ll think that I’m already moving on and he’ll move on also.
admin
November 10, 2013 at 9:59 pm
YUP!
Sarah
November 9, 2013 at 3:19 am
Hi Chris, I’m 24 my boyfriend is 25, we were together just under 2 years and I broke up about a month ago. We were together for a year and a half, lived together for a year, then he moved away to persue a professional soccer career, which isn’t going that well for him. We kept our LDR strong, but we did argue often. LDRs are definitely hard but we were making it work. I got fed up with the way things were, being away from him and all, and ended it with him abruptly. Stupid split second decision. I instantly regretted it and told him how I felt and told him I want to be with him and love him. He told me he doesn’t know if our relationship is what he wants anymore and he needed time to think about things. He will not respond to me at all and has cut off all communications with me. I’m completely heart broken and depressed. I’ve tried the no contact for over a week and then broke down and texted him, no response. It’s really hard for me because he is far away, and I don’t really have any closure. I do not want this relationship to be over and I know I want to be with him for the rest of my life. What should I do?
admin
November 10, 2013 at 12:46 am
How is he doing in his career?
Seems to me your issue is that you need to finish NC for more than a week.
Sarah
November 10, 2013 at 1:27 am
He isn’t doing that well at all. He has been to several tryouts and hasn’t made a team yet. I haven’t spoken to him in over a month so I’m not sure of even where he is currently or what he is doing.. How long do you suggest I not contact him?
admin
November 10, 2013 at 9:45 pm
Generally I recommend 30 days.
Shayne
November 9, 2013 at 2:45 am
Hi! I know this is just my opinion, but you are such a genius! This whole article will definitely help me with making myself even better, and it’s really overwhelming (at least for me) that everything I have read here is from a guy’s perspective. Thank you very much!
admin
November 10, 2013 at 12:37 am
Please shayne we are above terms like “articles” here. I prefer to think of them like “guides.”
Thats me doing an impression of a snobby guy hahahahahaha!
Glad you got something out of this!
J
November 8, 2013 at 11:18 pm
I’ll make this short but at the same time detailed. Me and my boyfriend were together for 6 months. 2 months in, I went away to a different country to see my family for 2 months. We texted everyday. Sometimes we argued, over silly things. We never argued before I went away. 2 months later I came back, on August 11th. It was the most happiest day. We were around each other all the time. He slept over a lot. (We are both 16, finished school in May.) Then, on the 6th month and 4th day we were together, during the night he texted something similar along the lines of “It’s over, I can’t do this anymore I’m sorry” and eventually he said it was because of freedom. When I said I wanted to stay with him, that’s when he said that’s why it’s me not you. Soon after I said “I love you” with him saying “Love you 2” in return, to which I did not reply to. Tomorrow it would have been 3 weeks since he said that, 3 weeks since we spoke. The last time I saw him was the morning of the day he sent that text. We kind of had an argue, I was still sleepy and therefore a little moody due to tiredness. I don’t remember it well, but he wanted to go home because he said “it was boring here sometimes” later after that I said the same thing about his but I didn’t mean it. Then he said so you mean you want to break up? Seeing as I don’t want to come here or you to mine? And I said that’s not what it meant. I went into the main room with him and sat on the sofa to wait for his mom to pick him up. When I tried to hug him he pushed me away. I sat silently next to him for a while. He apologised, to which I said nothing to and eventually went into my room back into my bed. Expecting him to come in to say bye before he left, I heard him leave just like that. Hours after that happened I texted and said I was sorry and I loved him. He read it but never replied. Then that night was when he broke up with me. It was a Saturday. On Monday night, seeing as he left his hoodie and hat at mine, I walked up to his which was half an hour walk in the dark. I left his belongings outside his front door without his knowledge, and even included a note. I included I love you, I included for him to take care of himself. Now 3 weeks on I haven’t heard a word. One week ago, my friend who knows my ex boyfriend, I told her to text him to see how he was doing (without him knowing it was my idea) he never responded to her questions “Do you miss her” and the like, he just went onto another subject. Their conversation ended by her giving him a screenshot of nice things I said about him, how I need to respect his decisions and let the boy I once called mine go. He read the screenshot, but never replied, even 6 days later, not a word about the screenshot. There was also a photo of him with his friends uploaded a week ago, and he looked happy. We had special times, and I have hung with 2 guys since but I felt no connection. Next week would have been our 7 months and also our 1 month of not speaking. Trouble is, I wouldn’t mind being his friend. But he said to my friend that it would be “useless” and “we would only end up going out and breaking up again” he never stated why he thought that. But I don’t know where to go from now. I miss his company, his personality. Him. Before we went out I had liked him for half a year. Since I moved to this country 2 years ago he was the only boy that ever perked my curiosity. And I don’t want to end this like that. But if I were to ever contact him again after what he believes, I know he’ll give me the cold shoulder and chances are he really does not miss me. Yet I don’t know why this could be, because how can someone erase 6 months with a person so easily? Please could you give me some advice on how to start talking to him again?
admin
November 10, 2013 at 12:23 am
I don’t think they can erase that much time with a person from their mind. I think they can seem like they erase it but deep down I don’t think its possible.
leila
November 8, 2013 at 9:16 pm
Hey,
My bf broke up with me after 1 year for no reason. He told me that he loves me so much and he cant some one better than me, but he just cant be in a relationship and he is not enough for me.
It was so hard for me and I satied in contact with him with text, email and call. During this time he was crying so much and told to me that he loves me and cant forget about me, but still he doesnt be in a relantionship with me.
After a whaile we dicided too be friends. But one night I saw his pics on fb in a party and I became to mad and crazy and jealous, and I told him that hate him becuase so much pain that he gave me and I want to forget about him.
He said that he is very sorry for bei ng such a jerk and he knows that karma would answer him.
After that I am on NC and he didnt call me too, its one week. Is he going back with all a have said?
Sorry for my bad english, english is not my native language:)
admin
November 10, 2013 at 12:06 am
Your english is perfectly fine.
Well you have only been doing NC for a week so its still so early.
Joyce
November 8, 2013 at 7:36 pm
Twelve years…I left him…new woman in 3 weeks. He couldn’t wait to tell me he had someone new. He walked right up yo me and told me in a “in your face” way. He wasn’t seeing her before the breakup. Any chance ofgettting him back. NC is I place for the second week.
admin
November 9, 2013 at 11:50 pm
We have one word for these types of men… JERKS!
Maria
November 8, 2013 at 4:27 am
Hello! My ex and I broke up less than 3 months ago, after 2 years. At first, the whole breaking up concept wasn’t really there since we would still talk to each other every day, flirt, say we loved each other, and continue making plans… However, 1 month ago, he had a freak out and wanted to officially end it with me. It was heartbreaking… But, we would still talk as friends every day, nothing crazy. Although this passed week, he was being SUPER sweet and told me that he love me, and I honestly thought he was regretting his decision… Yesterday he told me that this girl (i was VERY jealous of during our relationship and that he told me that they would never be more than friends) and him are getting closer… They’re not a couple yet, but it’s heading there… I was devastated and told him everything I felt… At first, he listened, because he said he held on to our friendship. Towards the end of my ”emotional breakdown”, he just completely ignored me and stopped answering me. Is there a possibility of getting him back? Is she just a rebound? I am very confused…
admin
November 8, 2013 at 6:53 pm
Sure there is and sure she can be but nothing is guaranteed. Are you going to use the NC rule?
Maria
November 8, 2013 at 11:49 pm
Well this happened 2 days ago, so the NC has just started… It’s really strange since we’ve never spent a single day without talking to each other before this…. I’m scared he forgets me and thinks I don’t want him anymore because of the NC rule… The girl isn’t official yet, but according to what he told me, it’s going towards there… What should I do?
admin
November 10, 2013 at 12:36 am
Well you are still really early in NC so I wouldn’t fret too much. There is plenty of time and the new girl isn’t official yet. Right now just keep doing what you are doing. NC!
Danielle
November 7, 2013 at 2:42 pm
Hi there! So I, like everyone else here, have gone through a break up. My boyfriend and I are high school sweethearts who have been together for over 5 years. We got in a fight recently and he ended up breaking it off by the end of the day. He’s been saying that he wants to see what else is out there for him because he isn’t positive that I’m the one for him. I kind of had an emotional breakdown and told him everything that I was feeling and he said that yes he does love me, but its different now and that yes a part of him is still in love with me. I asked him not to forget that we had many good times in our relationship and that sometimes there are going to be rough patches but that doesn’t mean we should give up. He also said that we are getting to the age where we need to start thinking about marriage and he just isn’t sure if I’m the girl he wants to spend the rest of his life with. He says that he thinks that if we stay together we will be end up getting married and everything will be fine but he’s scared that he is going to have regrets later on. I don’t know whether or not I should give up hope and let him go forever or if I should believe that we still have a chance. I’m kind of driving myself crazy over here because I honestly think that if we sat down and both talked about what we want and how we can get there instead of giving up, then we could make things work. I don’t know if he’s just scared of committing or if he is just done with this relationship. It’s really hard walking away from something that we have put so much work into especially when I feel like he is giving up because he is scared. But then again, I’m not really sure that this is how he’s feeling. I know that we have both made mistakes in this relationship and that it is nowhere close to being perfect but I don’t think that anyone ever finds something totally perfect. But I am willing to sit down and work on things and I don’t know if he is. I just really need some help. I don’t want to give up hope but I also don’t want to be somebody’s second choice.
admin
November 7, 2013 at 6:39 pm
Have you tried any form of NC yet?
Danielle
November 8, 2013 at 2:12 am
Yes. But i’m honestly just not very good at it. It’s really hard. I haven’t been able to make it two days in a row. :/
admin
November 8, 2013 at 6:36 pm
Thats your main problem it looks like.
Jane
November 7, 2013 at 1:11 pm
My boyfriend of a year dumped me saying he still loved me but he just didnt want a girlfriend/relationship anymore. He just wanted time to focus on himself. I wanted a break but he said that a break up and break was the same thing bc currently he didnt want a relationship. At first we were distant but started talking as friends. But when he found out i hung out with a guy friend he acted jealous and completely shut me out not even talking to me. I talked to him about him and we cleared it up and he said that what i did was just weird for him but now he doesnt care anymore and i can do whatever i want. i feel like if i do the no contact thing he’ll just let it be. bc 30 days is a long time bc we have classes together andare in a situation where we have to talk. he’s that kind of guy once its over its over. so im wondering if i should start the no contact or just have him as a friend right now and risk being friendzoned. i want him but i cant tell if he wanted to break up bc of he needs time for himself or he just stopped being attracted to me like im not pretty enough or something
admin
November 7, 2013 at 6:37 pm
I guess you can try limited contact.
kel
November 7, 2013 at 4:48 am
Not really sure what to do in this situation… ex and I broke up about 6 months ago…He broke it off saying he doesn’t think he can make me happy. We go to the same college and have mutual friends and are in classes together.We were in LC nearly NC for 4 months (summer vacation) when I came back to school, I found out he is in a LDR with a girl he met in Brazil on a 2-week vacation. She lives in Illinos, we are in Pennsylvania.They’re officially together for 1 month… I am overall happy, working on myself, have made a lot of changes that he approved of (mentioned it to my friend and she told me) But out of nowhere, he became mean and started ignoring me when he walked past me etc. etc even though I barely talk to him.( I see him every day b.c of classes…) I confronted him in person about it Saying “The break up was the best thing for us, I’m glad your happy, I’m happy for you. I dont have feelings for you, why are we treating each other like this?” He didn’t say anything to me about that but has instantly been nicer and has acknowledged my existence for the past several days and even made a comment about it to my friend. He thought I wasn’t over him before and assumed this was best…but now he thinks I am…
What do I do now? Just live my life and continue LC? I can’t do complete NC as I have to work w/ him in class and we do have mutual friends even though I don’t always go out w/ them when he’s around. I’ve been reading your site quite often now. Do I just wait out their relationship and date casually now? I really do love him and miss him like crazy, what else can i do or “not do” to get him back?
admin
November 7, 2013 at 6:08 pm
For now yes, just live your life and continue limited contact.
Jenny
November 7, 2013 at 3:31 am
I am wondering if I will be able to get my ex boyfriend back using this method? Is it possible?
admin
November 7, 2013 at 6:01 pm
Absolutely it is!
Lily
November 6, 2013 at 9:32 pm
Hey Chris! I was just recently broken up with the night before our 1 year and 3 month. He’s a freshman and college…and have me the distance reasons and that we tried…and it isn’t healthy that we fought all the time. Stuff like that. But to be honest I think he’s lying. However…he hasn’t deleted any of our pictures on Facebook or Instagram. And just deleted his twitter cover pic the other day. What does that mean? Also…I blocked him and his friends on Facebook, Instagram, and twitter. Should I not do that? Your blog is really helping me, thank you so much. 🙂
admin
November 7, 2013 at 5:31 pm
It means he didn’t like his cover pic hahaha.
I recommend to not block him but thats a decision up to each individual.
Lily
November 6, 2013 at 9:52 pm
And he also still has his relationship as “in a relationship” and we had a wonderful relationship up until he left for college. He left August 20th and I have only seen him 3x since. The last time was October 12th. (He broke up with me the night of October 30th) We had always said that we were going to try our hardest and that we were going to make things work and that we loved each other. He always talked about our future together and that he wanted to marry me and such. But how is it he is already over me? How does someone do that? The reason I think he’s gotten over me is because he has not tried to contact me at all, and hung out with 2 girls, his guy friend and his guy friend’s girlfriend over the weekend and these girls uploaded photos with him. He wasn’t supposed to come home this weekend. 🙁 as you can tell I’m really confused about what’s going on. PLEASE HELP!! 🙁
admin
November 7, 2013 at 5:35 pm
I think he isn’t. I think he just wants you to think he is.
Lily
November 7, 2013 at 10:39 pm
Well, his profile pics and cover photos were (some still are) pictures of us. Do guys not delete photos on social media even of they’re not together anymore? I mean it’s 12 different head shots of me…isn’t that weird to see when you’re not dating anymore? Also, he uploaded a picture of a girl and his friends girlfriend last night saying it was a “cute” picture…but then he kept on flirting with them. So…you still think he’s not really over me? Guys are so confusing…
admin
November 8, 2013 at 6:18 pm
Most guys do but sometimes you will get a guy that won’t do it for odd reasons.
bella
November 5, 2013 at 11:55 pm
Hi Chris,
First of all i would like to thank you for sharing this bright ideas and your thoughts, you realy have a good heart. This one works for me, after reading this I bookmark it and read the steps everytime I make a desicion. Before I was so miserable to get my boyfriend back, and it seems that the more i want him and the more i am attached to hin the more he ignore me and push me away. I realized that i was doing the wrong things. but after reading your article it realy helped me realize things and i learned how to value myself. I implemented the no contct rule and the every steps stated above, at first i thought its not gonna work. because when ive the the first cobtact i got a neutral reply, and he is so dry. But when i inplemented the no contact rule and i totally ignore him i dont even open mg facebook but then one day i need to open it an i so his message! He said he How are you, i mid you. then from chat, he liked almosy of pictures which he ignored before, and he call me and said I am speecless and I just want you to know that i mis you, and he ask me whos with me in the party because i uploaded some pics with some guys. i think jealousy works! and after the call he texted me before i sleep he said for the third time he mis me. then the other day he sent another chat that he mis me and shared aome pictures when we were together. I think when i implemented the no contact rule it made him realize things. So its realy worth to try, and be patient and ofcourse love yourself first. also when your not expecting things to happen it will come naturally. so thank you so much chris! this one works for me!
admin
November 6, 2013 at 5:09 pm
Sweet! Thanks for the kind words.
laura
November 5, 2013 at 9:57 pm
Hi Kris, I am sorry to have to contact you again. The last time i spoke to you was just over 4 months ago, after my 3 year LDR came to an end. I have just recently returned from an incredible holiday with this ex( It was booked before we split and would have meant losing our money). This was also the first time I saw him since the split. In a nutshell we had an incredible time together, and i know for a fact we both really, really enjoyed our time together. The difficult part is that the whole time we were together he acted as though we were a couple, he was very affectionate and caring and we even spent a few nights cuddling up but nothing more. We had a few brief conversations about what changed in our relationship, I never braoched the subject of our relationship exactly. I just asked what his plans and priorities were etc and he explained that for the next 2 years he only wants to focus on his career. I do understand this as he is in a very competitiive industry and is a bit older than most going into it, i just feel he risking having a wonderful future for the sak of it. When we got back home to the UK we said goodbye, he got very teary and that was that. We now have no plan to see eachother again. Does this sound to be a genuine reason as to not wanting to be in the relationship or does it sound that he just doesnt want a relationship with me , otherwise he would make it work. Do you think there is any hope for my situation? We both know we are great together but the timing is just wrong. Should i just learn to realise that life is cruel and try to move on.
Thankyou, Laura x
admin
November 6, 2013 at 5:03 pm
Firstly it’s Chris haha.
Sure there is hope. Have you tried any of the tactics on this site yet?
Ashx
November 5, 2013 at 2:07 pm
hi, I was with my ex for a year and a half went on holiday with him for 2 weeks and he broke it off the day we got home! We were more happy on holiday than ever as we did hit a rough patch before we went away. He’s very influenced by his friends and family and says he’s not ready to settle down yet. I didn’t speak to him for 3 weeks until I bumped into him a few days ago and he told me he missed me and that he regretted it but still didn’t want to get back together because he’s scared we will go back to arguing. Would you say don’t contact him and wait for him to come to his senses? thanks 🙂
admin
November 5, 2013 at 6:33 pm
For a while yes.
Jay
November 5, 2013 at 2:48 am
Just stumbled across your writing…just wanted to say that it’s remarkable about how relatable it is!
I’m going through a rough time with a break up. I’d been dating this boy for 3 years exactly, and we broke it off for college. For the next 2 months after we separated, we still began talking everyday. Little did I know we had different thoughts.
Finally, we spoke through Skype about how he basically stopped loving me affectionately the first day he stepped foot into college because he didn’t have time to think about me, while I was the one who thought about him everyday.
He was great and I loved him, and in fact, I still do 4 months later, but I have a feeling he still doesn’t think about me.
Is it even possible for a girl to do something wrong? I felt like I did everything to make him happy.
And though he was blunt, he was honest about the way he thought.
It’s just strange, he gave me a simple, yet confusing excuse.
“It’s been 3 years. I just want to see what else is out there. Had we only been dating for a year, maybe things would be different right now, but this is how things have to be.”
What exactly does this mean? I’ve never asked him, and now that i’m in the NC stage, I can’t ask him, but I’m dying to know.
He’s not the jealous type, and I’m trying to clear my mind of him and it’s just not working.
I’ve built up a bit of a wall because of him..he never followed through on some of the things he said he was going to do, though it was only something minuscule….I just don’t know what’s right to do anymore. It’s so tempting to just go on Facebook and look through his photos.
Would love to know your thoughts on this whole situation, and how i could go about handling this a bit better.
Long distance relationships can work, and I told him that, but he admitted that he just wasn’t willing to try. Is that his way of telling me I’m not worth it?
How could someone just stop loving someone the after we break up? I think that’s what hurts the most….
hope to hear from you,
jay
admin
November 5, 2013 at 5:55 pm
Well, I did write a guide for long distance relationship so you might want to check that out.
His phrase meant that he knows what you are all about and he wants to compare other women to what he had with you.
Stupid if you ask me b/c you seem pretty great!
Sydney
November 4, 2013 at 6:22 pm
So, i have this weird situation going on. A few days after I saw my ex 2 weeks ago, his best friend started contacting me (I haven’t heard from him in 2 months- when I started NC with my ex). He sent me a snapchat a couple weeks ago, which I didn’t respond to, then last night he texted me and asked me to hangout with him, but I said no. I feel like this has something to do with my ex because his best friend never showed any interest in hanging out with me before and he’s also the kind of guy who will hangout with a girl for the purpose of sleeping with her (he actually asked me to sleep with him back in August a few days after my ex officially ended things with me-I said no). A couple weeks ago my ex told me that his friend has been bailing on him a lot lately, and even bailed on his family Thanksgiving dinner, to hook up with this girl. I don’t know the current situation between the two of them, but I’m starting to think his friend is trying to use me in some little game or something. I was thinking about texting my ex and asking how things were with his friend now, but then I think it might be better to just ignore it and not mention his friend contacting me.
Sorry about the drama situation, but you’re advice is really helpful. Do I tell my ex or should I leave the whole thing alone? Thank you soo much for all your help!! I really really appreciate it:)
admin
November 5, 2013 at 5:00 pm
For now just ignore it like you said.
izell
November 4, 2013 at 5:41 am
By the way he said he is not getting married or anything, but needs to be a good father first.i really love him … i want us back in love again..