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8,582 thoughts on “The Complete Guide For Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back”

  1. izell

    November 4, 2013 at 5:35 am

    By the way he also said he is not getting married to anywoman or anything…

  2. izell

    November 4, 2013 at 3:58 am

    My boyfriend for 5 months and i broke up 3weeks ago. The first week, we still text each other’ i miss you and i love you… ‘ we broke up and his reason was his child(though he is single and no longer commited to his daughter’s mom for many years, but still communicate at times). His child is about to migrate abroad and he said he loves me but he cant give what i need for now, his child needs him. I told him that if ever time passes and still loves me then he could come back to me and i wont date anyone. He said he’s not getting wild i dont need to worry he will fix his life but needs to be a good father first.

    We still texted each other for the first week but on the second to third, i no longer replied to his message. I still want us back.. and im thinking that there is still a chance for us together again. I miss him so but i dont contact him.. i even prayed for a sign and it was yes… what can you comment about it? I really need some help. Thanks for reading. I cant wait for your reply.

    1. admin

      November 4, 2013 at 5:46 pm

      Are you currently in NC?

    2. izell

      November 5, 2013 at 2:52 am

      What do you think about his reason? Would there be any chance for us again in this given situation? I dont want to give up because i knew him that if anyone rejects him, he would stop…

    3. admin

      November 5, 2013 at 5:56 pm

      Sure there is a chance. You just have to be patient and strategic about how you approach things.

    4. izell

      November 5, 2013 at 2:44 am

      Yes. Almost 2 weeks. And im hoping we will be rekindled…

  3. Lydia

    November 3, 2013 at 11:49 pm

    Hey so I’m actually in 7th Grade and me and this guy started to date after texting for just 3 days. The only reason I said yes was because my best friend told me to. Plus he’s actually kinda cute. The thing is I was so obsessed woth him that I started to text him all the time. We have 2 classes together, bit he would never talk to me or anything. Then when I texted him he never answered, finally I just got so tired of it and I don’t think that I was thinking, and I texted him, “If you don’t text me back by midnight then I’m breaking up with you.” Turns out he never texted back. I was fine with it, but then after a while, I realized how much I missed our conversations. We had so much fun talking to each other all the time and now I can’t ever get him off my mind. After I broke up with him I started to constantly text him and it wasn’t till a while later that I finally read your post. Do you think it’s too late to save our relationship?

    1. admin

      November 4, 2013 at 5:28 pm

      7th grade huh!

      God those were the days…

      Just do 21 days of NC and I think you will have a shot.

  4. Kaylah

    November 3, 2013 at 9:53 pm

    I really like what you are doing. Everything that you said to do has helped with one of my other friend’s relationship so I thought that I would take a jab at it.

    I went through the 30 days with my ex and sent him a text today. I said that I found an old movie ticket from Mama when we went on a double date with our other friends and it made me laugh. And I got a negative response about how he cleaned everything out as well and had a nice fire. I don’t know if I said something wrong or if this was just the wrong time and it’s too early to contact him. Should I wait a few days and try again or move on to something different?

    1. admin

      November 4, 2013 at 5:15 pm

      Mama… that scary movie? I can’t believe you watched that :(. I wouldn’t be caught dead watchign that haha.

      Sorry about the negative response.

      Go into NC for another 2-3 weeks and try again with a much more casual text message. If that fails again you can try one more time or decide to move on.

    2. Kaylah

      November 4, 2013 at 11:43 pm

      Thank you.

    3. Kaylah

      November 3, 2013 at 10:53 pm

      Oh and I sent back that I was going to dinner with some friends, which I really am, and to have a good day with a smiley face at the end. Then half way through the dinner he texts me back saying, “Why are you texting me?”

      Oh and his signature on his phone has been “unknown” sense we broke up.. I don’t know if that’s a good thing or now.

      I don’t know if I should text him back or not I didn’t but I wanted to have someone else’s input that was a guy and knows how their brain works. Should I leave it alone or should I text him back?

      From what I can see he wants to know why I’m talking to him but I don’t know if that’s necessarily a good thing or not because he was negative in the last text he sent.

      What do you think I should do?

      P.S. I feel bad that you are constantly bombarded with girly emotions and such lol.

    4. admin

      November 4, 2013 at 5:22 pm

      Don’t text him back..

      P.S. some days I do too but in the end I kind of love the fact that people are reading what I am writing. It is the biggest compliment ever.

  5. Stacy

    November 3, 2013 at 9:07 pm

    I made first contact with my ex but he’s going through a lot right now and I don’t think I’ll get a positive response if I keep texting him. Should I wait until he’s not going through anything? Or continue the texting process

    1. admin

      November 4, 2013 at 5:11 pm

      If he doesn’t respond wait a week and try again.

    2. Stacy

      November 5, 2013 at 2:49 pm

      With a first contact text?

    3. admin

      November 5, 2013 at 6:34 pm

      Yup

    4. Stacy

      November 9, 2013 at 2:21 am

      I made first contact again and he responded with a neutral response. I checked his tweets after and he tweeted do yourself a favor and leave me alone. Pretty sure that was about me cause it was right after. Do you have any advise?

    5. admin

      November 10, 2013 at 12:33 am

      Yes right now take his advice and leave him along for a while hahaha. He obviously isn’t ready to talk.

    6. Stacy

      November 9, 2013 at 4:29 pm

      I think I’m just gonna give up. This whole process is just causing me too much pain. He obviously doesn’t want anything to do with me

    7. admin

      November 10, 2013 at 1:19 am

      Really? If you think thats best go for it.

  6. kris

    November 3, 2013 at 7:32 pm

    hi thank you so much for posting this its great! question, what if our breakup ended because of distance? he did long distance once with an ex and realized even though he liked me after 3 months of amazing times that we both felt were like a dream, and wonderful, he couldn’t go through with long distance again. he said i’m the coolest girl he’s ever dated. i haven’t replied to his email. i plan on keeping no contact for a while. its been a week. do you think if he goes about his life, maybe even dates someone, he will realize that i was worth if it if i don’t contact him he’ll miss me and maybe come back? i think that’s the only way, right? (sigh)

    1. admin

      November 4, 2013 at 4:59 pm

      I created a guide for long distance as well. You should check that out.

    2. kris

      November 3, 2013 at 7:42 pm

      Also, I’ve never met someone so wishy washy when we were together one day he’s like all i think of you, after 3ish months dating he says, i am perfect, we have an amazing relationship, then the next day he disconnects (he’s an aquarius) and back and forth, i think its all the distance and relying on the phone/txt. But after he sends me the break up email and i didn’t reply to it, 4 days later he posts a video on youtube and twitter of a song we listened to on vacation, with a guy and girl traveling together on the open road exactly what we did with a sad status caption. i assume it was about us. anyway i’m not going to reply to that, i’m just going to no contact even though my heart wants to badly. right? it’s the only way he can ever miss me is if i vanish for now…

    3. admin

      November 4, 2013 at 5:11 pm

      Yup that is the right attitude to have. In this case you need to use your head and not your heart.

  7. Emmie

    November 3, 2013 at 6:02 pm

    What do you do if you get a response that’s in between positive and neutral? I just started contact, and he didn’t respond with a “whatever” but it wasn’t exactly enthusiastic either. He just made a joke.

    1. admin

      November 4, 2013 at 4:48 pm

      I guess you could consider that “positive” hahaha

  8. Amanda

    November 3, 2013 at 1:30 pm

    Hi Chris,

    I think this post is amazing.

    Let me tell you my dilemma. My boyfriend of 1 year and 3 months broke up with me last week. He is in the army right now and is extremely stressed right now. He lost a lot of weight and is constantly working on assignment. Because of this he hasn’t been spending much time with me. I got upset one day because he was hanging out with his mate and I didn’t get to spend time with him for 2 weeks. He broke up with me 2 days later saying that he don’t think at this point in time he can give me what I deserve and I deserve so much more. I asked him what is it that I deserve and of course he never responded. Four days have passed and he never gave a response.

    Therefore, I have resolved to ending all contact with him. I love him very much and would like to work out things but at the same time I would never feel good about ‘running’ him down.

    What do you think?

    1. admin

      November 3, 2013 at 6:21 pm

      Well, have you done the NC rule?

    2. Amanda

      November 4, 2013 at 9:05 pm

      Hi Chris,

      No I haven’t done the NC rule as the break-up is pretty recently. Yesterday he sent me some diagrams that I would have needed for school. I called but he never answered. So I sent him a whatsapp message saying that I am in a difficult place right now as I still have a lot of question about the way he ended the relationship with me and how abrupt it was. I went on to say that I am battling with my feelings but at the same time I am trying to be respectful of his needs. I continued and said that when he contacts me it makes me feel like he wants to reconcile. If this is not the case, I would prefer you not to contact me because it would make the process easier.

      My thing is if he doesn’t want me, I can’t make him. So this will be the first day of no contact. I am also going to start dating because I just can’t put my life on hold for anyone.

      I love him but at the same time I know my worth. However, I would love to get back together with him but I am opting for the high road.

      I figure if it is meant to be it will but don’t get me wrong I do want him back.

    3. admin

      November 5, 2013 at 5:20 pm

      So, you are looking to just get over him?

    4. Amanda

      November 5, 2013 at 6:26 pm

      Yes I am but I wouldn’t mind getting back together with him but in the event that it doesn’t work out, I would like to be in a position where I am strong enough to completely move on

    5. admin

      November 6, 2013 at 4:41 pm

      I can help you on both accounts.

    6. Amanda

      November 8, 2013 at 1:04 pm

      Hi,

      How can you help on both accounts? A friend told me that he said that he misses me.

    7. admin

      November 8, 2013 at 7:09 pm

      What do you mean on both accounts

  9. justina

    November 3, 2013 at 9:36 am

    Hi chris..firstly thank u for this website and help..
    My bf and me were in relationship for 1year..For the first 7month he loved me alot..He didnt use to talk to any other girl..but 5month ago he told me that he love me alot but want to make another gf also just for fun..and then the problem started.we were in on and off relationship since 5month but he still loved me.then 2month earlier he just wanted to breakup with me cause we had some problem and he felt i cheated on him(but i didnt).so he was desperate to make another gf.we broke up..we used to talk always and it was always fighting,arguing…finally 1 week ago he left me saying bad things..he called me this and that..still i went to talk to him 3days ago and he again told me wrong things,and told never to talk to him again.He also deleted me on facebook.Do u think he still loves me?

    1. admin

      November 3, 2013 at 6:12 pm

      I think he still has feeling for you for sure. Your doing NC

    2. justina

      November 4, 2013 at 7:16 am

      he deleted me on facebook.and i blocked him.is it right to block him??

    3. admin

      November 4, 2013 at 5:53 pm

      I wouldn’t have blocked him but in the end you are freet o make all decisions you want.

    4. Justina

      November 4, 2013 at 5:37 am

      Its been 3days of NC.and its already to hard for me..I am just afraid that he might date someone else..Before his choice used to be simple girl…but from last 5months he wants to have a sexy girlfriend to show his friends..and he used to say i will love you the same.Thats when problem started between us.Do you think 30days NC will be enough or should i do it for more days??

    5. admin

      November 4, 2013 at 5:50 pm

      No I think 30 days is ideal here.

  10. Jessie

    November 3, 2013 at 9:27 am

    My ex fiancé and I broke up last December. We talked for months after, him promising me the world and torturing me emotionally saying that he was fixing it, and needed time to do it. I went crazy on the phone and texted him and called him constantly for months because I was emotionally devastated and I guess I figured it was over anyway why not let him take it? I really wish I had never done that. We haven’t spoken for 5 months, and I really feel I have to get in touch with him to just, “know”, you know? Best case scenario he communicates and maybe wants to try again, slowly. Worst case, he doesn’t respond or does and it’s bad. I really thought he would’ve contacted me by now, but because of how bad things got on the phone I guess I shouldn’t be surprised. We were really in love, we were pretty much dead set on being married for the rest of our lives.. But the stress from the proposal and him having to keep these promises up everyday got to be too much for him. I just wish we could start all over and new and see what happens with total forgiveness on both ends, the love is there so it would be great. I know I can be needy and expect too much, but he raised his own expectations when he proposed under the wrong circumstances. He is also very needy and manipulative (but who isn’t?). Him proposing killed our relationship because from then on it was me trying to believe it. Anyway just wondering what I should say and if you think this is too ruined to try. I loved your advice on saying your in the wrong mind set if you want to pick up where you left off. You cant. You have to start over, but I think the advantage of getting back together with an ex, is that the love is already there and you know what mistakes were made. If both parties are willing to forgive and forget, and both parties want good things, then it can’t go wrong. But I guess the key is both parties wanting it.. lol Wow love hurts pretty bad. Emotional maturity is so important. Great page, love the game plan for post apocalyptic break ups, wish I would’ve read this then. I knew better, I knew what I was doing when I was contacting him, while I was doing it. I knew I was ruining it, but he hurt me so much that I just wanted him to know how bad he hurt me, and I thought I might as well because we were never getting back together. Also, I didn’t want him to get away with putting the blame on me and him being the victim. Anyway despite post break up and post proposal.. we were perfect for each other. Our love was amazing, and we both lifted each other up in ways that are indescribable. We have the same interests and kind of similar personalities and views of the world in general… expect politics.. lol. Attraction on both ends was very important and very much there. I got emotionally needy and demanding after he proposed because I never really thought he took it seriously and I never trusted in it, because I knew we weren’t there yet. The only thing I truly wanted from him, he never gave me, and that was complete openness and honesty. I just wanted him to be happy and be his true self when we were together, but he always seemed closed like he had to be in control. He never understood that, that was all he had to do. He thought he had to promise me things and create a huge relationship to keep me. You should write a section on never saying/texting (it’s easy to text and push send when you’re hurting) anything you cant take back. That is HUGE. I loved him so much, I don’t know if I would now or if he is even the same person. I just miss him. When we broke up, I never knew he was capable of being or saying the things he said to me. I never thought he could be like that. It was devastating. But I was an emotional wreck and wouldn’t leave it alone. So girls, don’t ever talk to a guy you love after a break up, let it be; you and him will both say things that will ruin your love. I just couldn’t let him get away with the huge promises he kept making. I NEVER would have sent that first text after we broke up if not for my uncle telling me to text him a few times a day. After that, it went out of control. I should’ve NEVER listened to that. We broke up because we got into a fight and I was emotionally very needy for a few weeks there and he was closing up and I was guessing what was wrong so I just kept questioning him. The questioning drove him crazy. He doesn’t realize that you can’t tell someone you love them so much and plan a future yet be emotionally closed and secretive at the same time. All he had to do was be happy and open. All I had to do was take it easier and keep my own life/goals going, not putting that on his shoulders. I also think he is just a major alcoholic and loves to drink at the bars all the time, and him being with me was his way of keeping himself from doing that. He pretty much just stopped partying and drinking when he met me, which doesn’t work. You can’t give up your whole life and friends because you meet your love. Same goes for me, I can’t give up my routine because of his promises. Hoping I can learn from this, and know better next time.

    1. admin

      November 3, 2013 at 6:10 pm

      When was the last time you talked to him?

    2. Jessie

      November 3, 2013 at 9:36 am

      Also, just wanted to add it got to the point of me probably scaring him with the amounts of texts I was sending daily, for months.. lol. (Already told you why and that I knew what I was doing while I was doing it). So do you think I should even try?

    3. admin

      November 3, 2013 at 6:11 pm

      I do think you should.

  11. Becca

    November 3, 2013 at 3:56 am

    Hey Chris it’s Becca again. I have a question. I don’t know if the full 30 day NC would be a good idea… I think that if I don’t talk to him for that long he’s going to think that I absolutely don’t want anything to do with him and he will move on. I don’t think it’s a good idea to talk to him now but I want to talk to to him when he is still thinking about me not after, if that makes any sense. I don’t know what you think. And I would really appreciate your opinion on this matter. I’m really hoping that he will text me first in the next couple of weeks but I’m trying to kill that. I’m just afraid that he will really forget about me and this whole process won’t work at all. I really want to reignite the fire between us… Help?

    1. admin

      November 3, 2013 at 6:04 pm

      I think if you really feel it is a good idea you can shorten NC down to 21 days.

  12. Diana

    November 3, 2013 at 3:46 am

    I broke up with my ex 2 months ago (after dating for 5 months) and I never contacted, talked or saw him after that. During those 2 months of not talking, I dated a guy for a month, but every time I was with him I kept thinking of my ex and what a great mistake I did. Even tho we didn’t dated like for a year or more, I realize that I want to be with him and I want him back. I recently texted him saying sorry and that I miss him (which after reading your post today, it might have been a bad idea) and he just texted me back saying “I appreciate that but I don’t know what else to tell you” and then I asked him if he could give me a second chance and he said “we can be friends but that’s the best I can offer right now” I ended the conversation saying that I was ok with it and that I understood. A few days after I contacted him again and invited him for a coffee by his workplace since I was in the area. He agreed, even if it was for 15mins because he was on meetings. During that time I was so nervous, I almost spilled my coffee, but the conversation was just casual. We didn’t talked about getting back together, it was more of a “catch up conversation”. Then he had to leave and I offered him a goodbye hug and he responded the same way (was it bad or good thing? I feel like he just hug me back because there was no other way and be didn’t want to make the situation awkward) and today I asked him if he wanted to have some lunch/brunch tomorrow, but he replied that he couldn’t and that he already have plans.

    After reading your post and analyzing my situation, I’m really confused. I feel like I’m getting mixed signals and I’m not reading them well. I talked to my friends and they’ve been telling me that I should be straight forward with him and tell him why I want to go back with him. I talked to his friends and they’ve told me he isn’t seeing anyone and that I have to be really patient. Then I read your post about not doing what I did and do something else. And also, I don’t really know for sure that after what I already did and said to him he wants to go back with me. He is confusing me too.

    What can you tell me? What I did/ I’m doing is right? Do you think he will give me another chance? Is there a chance I can still get back with him?

    The one thing I really know is that I want him back.

    1. admin

      November 3, 2013 at 6:01 pm

      First things first, are you in NC are you doing it?

    2. Diana

      November 3, 2013 at 6:10 pm

      Well, I didn’t talk to him at all for 2 months at all. Can’t that count as NC?

    3. admin

      November 4, 2013 at 4:50 pm

      I suppose it can.

    4. Diana

      November 7, 2013 at 5:15 pm

      Let me know when that comes out! I will really apreciaste it and also thanks for being patient to help I know I’ve been nearly every day here but I just need some help on how to really get him back.

    5. admin

      November 8, 2013 at 5:32 pm

      I have it out! The guide on calling.

    6. Diana

      November 3, 2013 at 7:01 pm

      I didn’t contact him for 2 months (no texting calling or seeing him) AT ALL. I contacted him last week. I feel confused about what I did after all I read on your post. I’m wondering if I did something right and if I’m gonna be able to get him back. Did I do something right at least? Or what do you suggest I should do?

    7. admin

      November 4, 2013 at 4:56 pm

      You did a few things right..

      I think at this point take a step back and try to look at the situation with unbiased eyes.

    8. Diana

      November 4, 2013 at 7:47 pm

      Ok so if I see things differently what should I do next? Do a wait for a while again to contact him again? Or how can I approach him? He already knows I really want him back but I don’t know what else to do. I feel like asking a friend we both have in common to help me talk to him but I’m not sure if it’s ok to do this. One thing I know for sure is I don’t want anyone else be involved in the situation.

    9. admin

      November 5, 2013 at 5:11 pm

      Wait a while to text him again.

    10. Diana

      November 5, 2013 at 7:06 pm

      How long should I wait this time to text him again?

    11. admin

      November 6, 2013 at 4:42 pm

      What is your gut telling you?

    12. Diana

      November 6, 2013 at 5:46 pm

      I really want to see him again. But I don’t want him to think I’m trying to make him jealous for the wrong reasons. One thing I know is he is really stubborn but so times he tends to think negatively of almost every situation. My gut is telling me to wait until I talk to one of his best friends and be advised by him on how to approach him. But he can meet me until after Friday because he has visitors. I feel like time is running and that my chances of going back with him are decreasing. Sometimes I just want to send him a text like “good morning hope your day goes well” but I don’t want to receive a simple ” thanks, you too” and not know what else to say next. Do you think it will be right to do this? Or what can you advice me to do? Please tell me if there is something I can do. It’s been 5 days since I last text him.

    13. admin

      November 7, 2013 at 5:05 pm

      Dont rush things. I have something coming out that can teach you how to get him to call.

    14. Diana

      November 6, 2013 at 2:25 am

      Btw we have friends in common, and recently they have asked me to go out with them. Chances are ill meet him again What should I do if I encounter him? Do I play the jealousy card and try to be friendly with him or avoid him while trying to make him jealous? Or should I avoid him still?

    15. admin

      November 6, 2013 at 5:20 pm

      Try to yes but also don’t make things awkward.

  13. Desiree

    November 3, 2013 at 2:26 am

    I recently just got dumped like two days ago from a relationship that was 1 year and ten months he doesn’t know why he broke up with me he just says he’s not ready and that he doesn care and that we could still ne friends but I do not believe it I’m the only gf he has ever had!! I really love him I read your guide and have started the NC a day ago which has been hard and he has been txt me asking me how are you? Are you good? And today he txt me saying “well since your not txting back I’m gonna tell you not that you would but dnt mess with another dude on the rebound and I just wanted to know if you were still transferring to ecu?” I have not replied to him at all and I just wanna know if I even have a chance of getting him back should I continue the NC and follow through with the steps??

    1. admin

      November 3, 2013 at 5:56 pm

      Absolutely you should!

  14. Samantha

    November 3, 2013 at 1:06 am

    My boyfriend of 6 months just broke up we both said hurtful tthings and lied about petty stuff.He moved out of are home 3wks ago.I was fine with a break we were still dating but 1min I was fine the next I was hateful and angry he could just leave like that.He resentlly started going out to the bars and hanging out with family.He told me today he cant do it anymore and he will always love me.what should I do?

    1. admin

      November 3, 2013 at 5:46 pm

      Start NC up!

  15. Becca

    November 2, 2013 at 3:10 pm

    Hey Chris, my ex-fiance has left me and our anniversary is on November 14. He broke it off with me October 28. He first said he wanted a break on Oct. 26. He said that he felt like we were fighting to much and like an idiot I fought about it with him and cried and acted like a total girl about it. He said that we were okay and then on the 28th he said that he just couldn’t do it anymore. He told me that he didn’t love me anymore and said that I should just leave him alone. I told him we could work it out and he ignored me. I don’t think that’s the real reason because I told him that you can’t just turn love off. A few days went by and I texted him asking him if he was loving anyone else and he replied no and asked me if I was, which then I told him “you.” I then proceeded to argue with him again and then tried to call him and his friend answered and she said that he threw his phone and left the house and that she didn’t know where he was going. I was very nice to her and didn’t say anything rude to her. I talked to her a little about how I went off the deep end and got angry so he did to and she said that she could understand my frustration but me doing what I was doing wasn’t helping my situation and that she would tell him that I called. A couple hours later I texted him and he answered back that I should just go to bed and said that this wouldn’t happen again. I texted him back telling him that I thought that it would be best if he moved to Idaho, which he was planning on doing to be closer to his family, that it would be best for both of us, and that I would leave him alone. I understand now that he was right, I did argue a lot and I didn’t think about him enough until it was close to the end. I never saw this coming until now. I can see the signs now.. I don’t know if I should go through with this process.. It’s not that I can’t live without him I can but we had a good thing going. We had so many things in common and we had an argument that caused the break-up and I just made it worse. If I hadn’t of gotten angry with him not texting me while he was at work this wouldn’t of happened this way. I think that there is still hope. If he really did love me I think that I can get this flame going again and show him that I can be that person that he fell in love with in the beginning. Any advice? I don’t want him to move and I’m also afraid that by the time I get to the 30 day mark he might of left already.. Help?

    1. admin

      November 3, 2013 at 5:01 pm

      Hi There,

      NC is a must. I don’t want to answer all of your questions yet b/c I have something planned that is going to do that, my next guide.

  16. shannon

    November 2, 2013 at 3:01 pm

    Hello,
    My boyfriend broke up with me 5 days ago. After the break up I rang him many times upset, which I now regret. But I have managed to not speak to him for 4 days. He broke up with me because he saw no future prospects for us because of his religion. His family would abandon him if they knew about me. We were together 18 months. He was always so positive about the relationship. He said that he still loved me but he couldn’t have our relationship right now and it will never work in the future. I sent him one last message before I broke contact, but since then he has said to my friend that maybe in future like a year or 2. He said he felt trapped in the relationship because I would ask too many questions about things which didn’t need to be spoken about. We are both at uni and it is a distant relationship, but we always made it work. I need advice on this situation, I feel lost without him. He kept saying that he cant make me happy, but then he says opposite to my friend so I am very confused. I am going to do the 30 day no contact to see if it helps. please email me or blog for adive. Your website has inspired me to keep trying and have faith.

    1. admin

      November 3, 2013 at 4:58 pm

      Hi There,

      Definitely keep doing NC. Tell me what you are going to do during NC to evolve and better yourself?

    2. shannon

      December 28, 2013 at 10:27 pm

      It didn’t work, he still only wants to be friends for now… but may want to work in the future, 50/50 chance basically if I change my paranoia issues, but this all depends on future aswell, but I cant stop mentioning the relationship side of things when texting. What do I do know…

    3. admin

      December 29, 2013 at 6:43 pm

      Lay back a bit…

    4. shannon

      January 3, 2014 at 10:33 pm

      We met up and are no seeing one another, but he seems so distant and is so busy with his degree, I don’t know what to do?

    5. shannon

      December 30, 2013 at 10:58 am

      Should I move on? because he said he doesn’t want to get back together for at least a year until his masters degree finishes and that is based on a maybe too and he keeps saying he doesn’t want to gte my hopes up. How often should I speak to him? and what will make him want me more?

  17. Jess

    November 2, 2013 at 2:43 pm

    Recently me and this guy I was seeing for 3 years ended things, for several reasons. I knew it was coming, but at the same time I didn’t expect it. We have always been on and off, but only off more maybe a week. It was different this time and I knew I was loosing him. Anyways at first he was really mad at me and said he didn’t want to see me or talk to me ever again. We went back and fourth on this, but yesterday he came over, we hooked up as per usual and he told me after we did that “I think we shouldn’t talk for a while, but that doesn’t mean forever”. I was happy he changed his mind and now he is saying that I can call him in the summer if I want to see how things are. But he told me not to expect anything or get my hopes, I told him that the least I want is to be able to call him and just talk. He told me that we were done and that I respect this choice and not call him or his sister (his sister has his old phone number and I have called it several times, which he gets angry about). He also told me that he knows for a fact that I will call him in a week or two or try to contact him. Anyways we ended things saying we will talk in the spring/summer.

    I don’t want to have to wait 6 months to start over with him, as I know I want to be with him. What advice could you give me to achieve this? I can’t contact his old number as his sister has it and he’ll get mad, but I don’t have any other number. Please help.

    -Jess

    1. admin

      November 2, 2013 at 7:42 pm

      Do you have any other way of getting in touch with him?

    2. Jess

      November 3, 2013 at 12:53 pm

      I’m really not sure what to do. I don’t want to wait 6 months to talk to him, because I feel like that is too far away and things could change. I talked to him about talking at Christmas break and he said no. I wonder if he is just saying that now and maybe in a few weeks of not talking things could change? Like I said he really believes I’m going to text or call his old phone number that his sister now has in a week or 2. All I know is I want him back, but I’m just not sure how to get him back. If you can give me any advice you would be helping me so much!

      -Jess

    3. admin

      November 3, 2013 at 6:17 pm

      Hold the horses. Why not just text or call his old number? I am confused.

    4. Jess

      November 3, 2013 at 8:17 pm

      I don’t think I can anymore. He blocked my number. How do I contact him after the NC period? or is there any chance of us getting back together

    5. admin

      November 4, 2013 at 5:07 pm

      Do you have his facebook? Email?

    6. Jess

      November 5, 2013 at 2:24 am

      I do have his email, but he hardly checks it. I can also message him from my iPad we use to talk that way when my phone was broken or he would call me house phone

    7. admin

      November 5, 2013 at 5:52 pm

      I say the iPad route is your best bet.

    8. Jess

      November 5, 2013 at 7:52 pm

      So I should do the no contact period and just use that to initiate contact? I really do want him back, but I’m afraid he’ll be mad still.. :(. I want the opportunity to start over again with him

    9. admin

      November 6, 2013 at 4:47 pm

      No, you initiate contact after NC period with the text messages I recomend here or in the ebook.

    10. Jess

      November 2, 2013 at 11:15 pm

      No not really. Oddly though he told me to text that number in the summer. If I do the NC then use that number and him calling me and being mas at me again. I am at a lost of what to do. He is admit that I will call him in a week or 2 though, but I don’t plan on doing that, so I’m not sure if that will trigger something on his end.

  18. Rose

    November 2, 2013 at 9:33 am

    Hi it’s me again….

    My last post you congratulated me as I was on day 25!…. An hour after I wrote that he contacted me again… Basically asking why I was ignoring him etc… My mum told me if I was too distant it might make him give up, so I caved! He asked me how UNi was Etc basic chit chat and I ended the convo I didn’t want to give to much info away as I don’t think he deserves to know everything that I’ve been up too! He ended it after all. So I ended to convo and told him I was going out to eat, he replie with okay I hope you have a nice meal, always thinking about you x

    Then he texted me again 15 mins later asking why have I unfollowed him on twitter.. I said because it hurt and I found it easier to not know whst he’s up to. He said he understood and that he finds it hard seeing that I’m out having fun… But he’s happy to see me having a good time.

    I left it there.. But then texted again the next day…

    Hey, was just sorting through my room and found that picture we bought in Thailand of us riding the elephants! Made me think of us! X

    He replied very positive we spoke about Thailand for a little while he was very positive said it was the best holiday ever! Etc but didn’t mention anything about me or spending it with me etc, after a few remmenising positive texts I decided to leave the convo with telling him I missed him, and he replied with he misses me too, I’ve left it there for now…

    I’m worried that he had just popped up out of knowere for a little reassurance and that he’s not interested in getting back together yet.. Or ever. Do I wait for him to contact me? If I do shall I play it cool for a while and be patient? As part of me just wants to tell him to not contact me unless he wants to discuss getting back together 🙁 so upsetting x

    1. admin

      November 2, 2013 at 7:26 pm

      Play it cool and be patient. It’s good he is initiating contact though. Really good.

    2. Rose

      November 2, 2013 at 7:35 pm

      Thank you for replying!

      do you think it was a good idea that I brought up the nice memory yesterday (about Thailand) ? He was really positive but didn’t particularly say anything that I wanted to here like “it was the best think we’ve experienced” he said “it was the best experience I had” ? Or am I thinking way to much into it? That was the first time I inoculated contact first which wa yesterday, we’ve left the convo okay I miss you and I miss you too..

      Do I contact him again or do I wait for him to contact me? And if I should contact him how long do I wait inbetween conversations? I haven’t heard from him since yesterday now, and if it’s him that contacts me do I not bring up the relationship? And just been positive and nice … And do I not give him any reassurance? As I’m worried that he know thinks he can drift off again for another 6 weeks now that he knows I still miss him! X

      Thank you so much for your support so far x

    3. admin

      November 3, 2013 at 5:08 pm

      You are probably thinking too much into it. It sounded like a very positive conversation to me.

      At this point wait to see if he contacts you. BUT if he doesn’t you may need to be proactive.

    4. Rose

      November 3, 2013 at 5:13 pm

      Yeah it was positive,,, how long should I wait before I should be proactive? X

    5. admin

      November 4, 2013 at 4:43 pm

      I think a few days or so, play it by ear.

    6. Rose

      November 4, 2013 at 8:51 am

      And also we are supposed to be on a “break” I think do I give him and end date to which he needs to decide by or do I try and be more understanding about it and not give it an end?

      X

    7. admin

      November 4, 2013 at 6:07 pm

      Hmm ultimatums usually never work out.

  19. Becca

    November 2, 2013 at 6:10 am

    Hey Chris, my ex-fiance has left me and our anniversary is on November 14. He broke it off with me October 28. He first said he wanted a break on Oct. 26. He said that he felt like we were fighting to much and like an idiot I fought about it with him and cried and acted like a total girl about it. He said that we were okay and then on the 28th he said that he just couldn’t do it anymore. He told me that he didn’t love me anymore and said that I should just leave him alone. I told him we could work it out and he ignored me. I don’t think that’s the real reason because I told him that you can’t just turn love off. A few days went by and I texted him asking him if he was loving anyone else and he replied no and asked me if I was, which then I told him “you.” I then proceeded to argue with him again and then tried to call him and his friend answered and she said that he threw his phone and left the house and that she didn’t know where he was going. I was very nice to her and didn’t say anything rude to her. I talked to her a little about how I went off the deep end and got angry so he did to and she said that she could understand my frustration but me doing what I was doing wasn’t helping my situation and that she would tell him that I called. A couple hours later I texted him and he answered back that I should just go to bed and said that this wouldn’t happen again. I texted him back telling him that I thought that it would be best if he moved to Idaho, which he was planning on doing to be closer to his family, that it would be best for both of us, and that I would leave him alone. I understand now that he was right, I did argue a lot and I didn’t think about him enough until it was close to the end. I never saw this coming until now. I can see the signs now.. I don’t know if I should go through with this process.. It’s not that I can’t live without him I can but we had a good thing going. We had so many things in common and we had an argument that caused the break-up and I just made it worse. If I hadn’t of gotten angry with him not texting me while he was at work this wouldn’t of happened this way. I think that there is still hope. If he really did love me I think that I can get this flame going again and show him that I can be that person that he fell in love with in the beginning. Any advice?

    1. admin

      November 2, 2013 at 7:17 pm

      That had to hurt. Do you think he got cold feet about the whole thing.

      I do think there is hope.

    2. Becca

      November 2, 2013 at 12:01 pm

      I don’t know if it’s still a good idea to contact him or do this after everything that I said. I really don’t want him to move to Idaho and I’m afraid that by the time my 30 days are up we might of left already…

  20. em

    November 2, 2013 at 12:19 am

    Hey Chris, Em again.
    11 more days of NC to go. I made signs on my wall that say “do not give up.” Yesterday I went on a date.

    I had a question about contact again.
    I’m slightly nervous that he may continue to ignore me when i try to contact him. I’m wondering just where to go from there, and for some reason waiting a week and trying again doesn’t sit well but if i’m ignored after that again…should i just give up?

    I’ve written and rewritten a long message kind of explaining how i finally realized what went wrong and how it was my fault and in order for us to move forward this had to happen. and allows the chance for something new and more promising and effortless, but to ask for him to take me back is disrespectful. that it was never we didnt have good chemistry. it’ slightly sentimental at the end listing some found memories and if he could smile at those maybe it’s not a crazy idea to consider (its much more eloquent).

    i really want to right my wrongs, and id prefer to do it through action than words but if im deprived of the opportunity…should i send this as a last resort?

    maybe i’m thinking too far ahead and becoming paranoid.

    1. admin

      November 2, 2013 at 6:47 pm

      DO NOT GIVE UP…

      I like the dedication!

      I have a new guide coming up on mens mind during NC you may find it really intersting.

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