The Definitive Guide For Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back

8,582 thoughts on “The Complete Guide For Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back”

Mary

November 1, 2013 at 9:31 pm

First of all, i would like to congratulate you for this thorough research on breakups!I found so many things me and my girlfriends have been through during relationships.
I broke up a month ago with someone i met back in may.the relationship was long distance(he is living in another country) and we had only seen each other once two years ago.Anyway, in a nutschell,he asks me out,we go out for adrink(this was when we actually met each other), we go on holidays together,have a great time,and for the next weeks we skype and talk over the phone.He seemed very enthusiastic(wanted me to meet his friends,called at exactly 12o’clock on my birthday,called me everyday etc).And then,he asks me to visit him.So i go there for 4days(we had a great time with his friends who really seemed to like me).On the third day he starts getting distant and eventually tells me that he that we cannot be together even if he thought we could be at first.And because it would be a long distant relationship.There was no logical excuse for the break up which was completley out of the blue.He was the one who wanted to meet me in the first place!And we didnt have time to get bored with one another because we only met a few times!What could the actual reason be??Could i win him back or is it a lost case?

admin

November 2, 2013 at 6:32 pm

I think there are definitely feelings on his side. You are definitely on his mind. Why not do NC?
Mary

November 2, 2013 at 7:32 pm

what’s an NC?if he does have feelings why would he end things so quickly and for no apparent reason?
admin

November 3, 2013 at 5:06 pm

The no contact rule.

Well, his feelings changed but he still cares about you I am sure.
Mary

November 2, 2013 at 7:40 pm

just realised that NC is the no contact period!i have not contacted him at all..but neither has he..:(…so how can he still have feelings?i wish he had,…

Anne

November 1, 2013 at 9:03 pm

Hi, my x of 41/2 yrs dumped me 5days ago because I went out to have drinks w a couple of friends after I caught him talking to another girl on the phone.I was so sad because he told her he had been single for 3 months wich was not true.he called to apologize n work things out I met up with him n that’s when I told him I had gone out n saw on my phone two pictures of me and the girls with two guys that we don’t even know.He told me we were done and called me all the names in the world I have always been faithful and he knows it.He blocked my number so I sent him an e-mail explaining what had happened that night n apologizing for the pic and also telling him whyi had gone out.He replied saying we were done then sent me another one apologizing and saying he loved me n to take care and asking me to reply one last time but I never did.now he made a Facebook and has all these girls as friends even his ex’s and is always talking about how hes going out and partying, I haven’t made one yet because im trying to stay away n I’m scared he will block me.we haven’t talked since monday (last time e-mail were sent) is there still hope in fixing this I still love him with all my heart

admin

November 2, 2013 at 6:27 pm

Sure there is hope. BUT emailing him at this point isn’t your best bet.
Anne

November 4, 2013 at 7:11 pm

He text me n called me yesteday saying he loved me n good bye I replied saying good bye then he text me askin to sleep with him I ignored him then text me 3more times I ignored him n the last message he said he hated me n wished he never met me n that he will forget me soon and bye, he didn’t text or call after that. ..did I do good in igonring him I feel like I lost him for good but I don’t want him to call me just for sex. Should I keep the nc rule or should I ask him y is he texting me that n all of sudden he’s hating me
admin

November 5, 2013 at 5:03 pm

Yes keep the no contact rule.

mimi

November 1, 2013 at 8:38 pm

Hi have read through ur aticle and its really great.just dat I have tried contacting my ex b4 I read abot this article.at first he wld reply ♍ε̲̣̣̣̥ and ignore my callz atimes he would nt reply or call back,though along d text message he sent he showed that he stiled cared bt dnt knw y his heart is sliping away from ♍ε̲̣̣̣̥ .atimes he wld say we would sit and talk about D̶̲̥̅̊ break up and D̶̲̥̅̊ reason y he decided †̥.bt afta reading Ūя̲̅ aticle today I decided not †̥ bug him again and move on with D̶̲̥̅̊ no caling or textin. Though its hard for ♍ε̲̣̣̣̥.wat if he calls ♍ε̲̣̣̣̥ during dis period I have started this nc wat wil I do.I need an advise my hrt is hurting so much

admin

November 2, 2013 at 6:25 pm

No Contact is obviously your best option at this point.

Umm… I think that what you do during NC is just as important as well.
mimi

November 2, 2013 at 8:10 pm

How please can you explain futherr
admin

November 3, 2013 at 5:14 pm

What would you like me to expand on?

Esther

November 1, 2013 at 8:57 am

First of all, this is an excellent work you’ve put into this page. Thanks for these enlightenments. I’ve been in dis relationship for a few months and we broke up two weeks ago. He says he’s going back to his ex.He didn’t say what I did wrong. He just became cold and disrespectful towards me. It was a rough break up. During the period of the relationship, I think I was boring and this must have led to the break up. I would like to get him back, because I think that I did not get the best of him because I was boring. Please, could you help out with how I can not be boring? I desperately need your help.
Thanks.

admin

November 1, 2013 at 6:50 pm

You think you were boring? Give me a specific example of why you think you were boring?

Check out the ungettable girl guide.
Esther

November 1, 2013 at 9:27 am

After we broke up, I didn’t speak to him and I refused to pick up his calls. He eventually came around to apologise and begged me to pick up,which I did the next time he called. He apologised again. I responded in mono-syllables. He even tried to crack a joke, to which I did not respond. He called again the following week and I was nicer and I ensured that I ended the conversation. However, I called him up d next day to make an enquiry about a meeting. The following day, we met at a gathering of friends and I wanted to leave without greeting him, but he called me back and we spoke generally. I noticed that he enjoyed my company. What should I do?
admin

November 1, 2013 at 6:52 pm

You should probably wait a few days before you text him.

Stacy

November 1, 2013 at 3:34 am

I made first contact a couple days ago after NC and got a neutral response. I found out from a friend that my ex is going through a rough time. Is it ok to skip to the heart to heart and then go back and do the text about the good ole days and so on?

admin

November 1, 2013 at 6:37 pm

No I think you have to lead up to heart to heart. That is how I would do it anyways.

jane

November 1, 2013 at 12:31 am

Hi chris,
Me and my bf broke up 4 months ago. I ended it because I felt like he never gave me his time. He was always busy with work and when it came to us spending time together he would rather go drinkin with his mates. The break up really hurt. We stopped talking for 6 weeks, then he started txtin me sayin he missed me. Asked me was I happy etc. I asked him to meet but he said after we broke up he had been working overseas. So I stopped txtin him cuz I thought the only reason he was textin was cuz he was lonely and for the wrong reasons. A few wks went past and he txt again. He asked to meet me cuz he said he was coming home. I agreed but said id meet him on the sat nite. He said he had somethin on the sat but he wud sort something out. So sat came and he made me wait all day until 7pm to tell me he couldnt meet me. So I told him just to leave me alone. He txt bk, did I still love him and want him in my life. I didnt reply. That was 2 wks ago and I have heard nothing else. I just want to know what sense u can make out from him?
Thanks

admin

November 1, 2013 at 6:25 pm

He is playing around with you and I don’t like it. It should be you playing around with him.
jane

November 1, 2013 at 11:42 pm

So u think he has no good intentions at all? Why would he bother telling me all that for? I know hes home again this weekend and im dreading bumping into him out as we are not talking.
admin

November 2, 2013 at 6:40 pm

I didn’t say his intentions were bad or I don’t think they are. I just think any time someone says things like that to you, you have to have your guard up and look at their actions rather than what they say.
jane

November 3, 2013 at 3:56 pm

I still love him and havent gotten over him.. Its been 4 months now since we broke. do u think I should just keep with my no contact now seeing as its been 2 weeks since his last txt that I didnt reply to.
admin

November 3, 2013 at 6:21 pm

At this pint yes.
Jane

November 5, 2013 at 9:25 pm

Thanks. Is there any other advice you could give me?
admin

November 6, 2013 at 4:59 pm

Probably… if you are more specific about what you want advice on you could help me out a bunch hahaha.
Jane

November 8, 2013 at 8:42 pm

Haha. Good point. So how long should I keep the no contact? Its 3 wks now. Hes quite a stubborn character and I think he will just assume now that ive moved on.
Jane

November 12, 2013 at 8:33 pm

Yes. But I was wondering do they stil think that way after 4 months?
admin

November 13, 2013 at 6:36 pm

They can. There are a lot of thoughts that go through a mans mind but yes they can still think that way after 4 months.
Jane

November 11, 2013 at 11:39 pm

Do u think he is angry at me then because i never replied? He went out drinking with his mates the night i was meant to meet him.
admin

November 12, 2013 at 6:49 pm

Have you read the male mind during NC guide?
jane

November 10, 2013 at 11:26 pm

When he gave it. He was asking questions about things in my life like work. I asked him y he was txtin me he said cuz he missed me. I suggested meeting. Bt then he told me he was wrking overseas. I stopped txting. 2wks later he txt again. I replied. He said hed be home but didnt no wat date. I stopped txting again. He landed home and I didnt no. I bumped into him on nite out and he kept tryin hug and kiss me. I was angry at him. We argued. Next day I asked meet him. But he replied too late. He was away bk to wrk overseas. I txt to say no mre contact. 2WKS WENT by. He txt again sayin after all our time apart he still loved me and wud I meet him when he was home again. I agreed bt said sat nite. He z he had sumthing on bt wud sort it. He made me wait all that day to tell me he wasnt meetin me n cud I meet him sunday. I txt him saying he played me around. He txt did I love him and want him in my life. I didnt reply. Ive heard nothing from him now in 3 weeks and I no he was home again last wkend.
admin

November 11, 2013 at 5:58 pm

Maybe its possible that he just wanted to see you on Sunday.
Jane

November 10, 2013 at 12:21 am

Does no contact work this far on? Its 4 months now. We already did no contact at the start for 6 wks. He gave in and txt me.
admin

November 10, 2013 at 9:42 pm

It can! How did the texting go once he gave in?
admin

November 9, 2013 at 11:57 pm

Hmm… another week or two.
jane

November 2, 2013 at 6:43 pm

Yes his actions speak volumes. He hasnt done anything to prove all he has said. He just txts. I think if he really loved me he wud have met me that sat nite?
admin

November 3, 2013 at 5:03 pm

Maybe, but speaking from experience sometimes things get in the way so maybe he was just really preoccupied.

Lily

October 31, 2013 at 5:03 pm

Should I even try this system if I know that during our no contact period he is already having sex with other people? We lived together for about a year and a half and I’m thinking that this is his way of dealing with his loneliness. It has only been a week since we broke up and he’s already having sex. Is that normal? He broke up with me because he said that I was always angry and depressed and felt like he would never be good enough for me. I was always mad and depressed but it was because I lived so far away from my family and friends in order to be with him since it was more convenient for him since we lived closer to his band mates since he played in a band. I built up a lot of resentment and would let it out during most arguments. However, we loved each other and were happy together. The problem was the location and it didn’t seem like we would be moving anytime soon. I believe that I just caused him so much stress. Should I still try to get him back?

admin

October 31, 2013 at 8:36 pm

Yes I think you should IF you want him back. If not then I can help you move on from him as well.

Rose

October 31, 2013 at 3:36 pm

Hi chris I left a Lon comment the other day on a different page…
You asked if i have began the NC and yes I have. I am on day 25. Since I started the NC he has wished me happy birthday and mentioned he was missing me in the text, he also sent me a bday card both of these I ignored and this was nearly 2 weeks ago now, and funnily enough the other night after I posted on the other page he texted me in the middle of the night saying “I miss you xxx” I haven’t replied… When we initially went on this break he said we could try work it out in December but then he changed his mind and said he may want longer away from me and didn’t want to dangle me on string. After that convo I started NC…. Does this look like he may want me back sooner that he thought he would? How would you reply when the 30 days are up?

Rose x

admin

October 31, 2013 at 8:27 pm

Day 25 WOOT WOOT!

I can’t say for sure BUT all I will tell you is to stick with the plan and not rush things.

Sara

October 31, 2013 at 7:23 am

What if one of your friends is also friends with your ex? How do you act about the break up when she asks? Do you act like you accept it? Trying to? Trying to move on? Do you tell her the truth that you want him back? Assuming she’ll talk to him I don’t want to say the wrong thing. Thank you =]

admin

October 31, 2013 at 7:45 pm

You simply state to her “I am not ready to talk about it yet” and leave it at that.
Sara

October 31, 2013 at 10:21 pm

When she found out through our conversation I was hanging with one of my guy friends (not interested, just trying to keep busy during NC period), her attitude was kind of like ‘oh no not a new guy’…she asked me if I had feelings for him, and I told her not at this point and asked why that mattered. She told me liking another guy right now would be dumb, and I lied, saying I was just trying to move on from my ex. She told me to try talking to him and I replied
basically telling her I was done trying, I wasn’t going to sit around waiting for him to realize he made a mistake and that I was trying to move on…Was that bad? Did I mess up? Thanks so much.
admin

November 1, 2013 at 6:21 pm

I don’t think so I think you sound like a strong independent woman.
Sara

November 3, 2013 at 1:44 am

What if his confidence isn’t exactly the highest? Various times throughout our relationship he would tell me how I’m going to end up finding someone better, choose that guy and forget all about him…do you think the no contact rule still applies? You don’t think if he hears I’m hanging with other guys and trying to move on he will think he was right all along, that I could do better? We’ve also broken up a few times before this…all over stupid fights. Things this time have been different though. Usually by now he would have reached out…so I’m scared
admin

November 3, 2013 at 5:53 pm

It could be a big factor into him leaving. Did you do anything re-assure him that he was the one for you?

Still, I think NC is the way to go.
Sara

November 4, 2013 at 2:16 am

I told him all the time how much I love him and that I didn’t want anyone else but he always would tell me I never told him that..he started hanging with a couple friends that get him into bad things and I told him he could be friends with whoever he wants, but that I was really worried and scared and I didn’t understand why when he had other great friends he felt he had to be with them. He broke up with me over that. I want a future with him and am just concerned about his well being. Wouldn’t the fact that a girl waited over a year of NC for him be enough for him to know I’m not going anywhere? I’m just scared if he finds out from my friend I’m trying to move on he will think “see I knew it would never last and sooner or later she’d find someone new”. Thank you so much for taking the time to help me, I really appreciate it =]
admin

November 4, 2013 at 5:33 pm

It should be but can you really wait around?

Sydney

October 31, 2013 at 12:38 am

When I started texting my ex after 30 days NC, he was always very neutral and there would be very long response times from him. After my second attempt at texting him, I still only got a neutral response, I can’t get him to engage in a conversation, so I figured I would wait another week before trying to text him again. 5 days later, however, he texted me, but it was a booty call.. and even though every part of me knew it would be a really bad idea to say yes, I still agreed. When he came over, we hung out for about 30 or 40 minutes before doing anything, just talking and laughing and things seemed so easy like they used to be. I didn’t hear from him again until 2 days later because he wanted to know how to do something that I was showing him that night, so I explained it to him and answered his questions then the conversation was over. Whenever I text him now, I still can’t get him to engage in a conversation and they rarely ever go for more than 4 lines (2 from each of us). I texted him today and asked what he was up to and he responded right away saying “nothing, just carving pumpkins:P” I responded saying that sounded like fun, but then he never said anything after that. So, I don’t know what to do at this point. The night he came over, we had fun and everything was like it used to be, but he still won’t engage in a conversation. Any advice? This is getting really confusing and soooo much harder than 30 days of NC haha

admin

October 31, 2013 at 7:25 pm

Well the carving pumpkin things isn’t exactly an interesting train of thought but any time a girl says “sounds like fun..” I don’t text back either usually b/c it is kind of a convo killer.
Sydney

October 31, 2013 at 9:06 pm

I guess it really is a convo killer, I won’t be saying that again haha. I’ll just have to take a step back and wait another week before texting him again. I knew this wasn’t going to be easy, but I really understand when you say you need to remove all emotions when texting in order to think logically, but finding the right moment when emotion is appropriate. I think being able to do that is even harder than getting through NC lol
I really appreciate your help. It’s amazing that you take the time to help 100’s of strangers everyday with their ex problems:)
admin

November 1, 2013 at 6:15 pm

Its not only that though. Its also being able to put yourself in your exes shoes.

Think “would I respond to this text if someone texted it to me?”

Sophie

October 30, 2013 at 8:21 pm

Firstly, thank you for putting so much time and effort into this! It gives me some hope during this dark time. My boyfriend of 4 years broke up with me yesterday and I feel like I lost my left foot. For the past year I’ve been steadily getting more depressed and unmotivated with life in general. We were looking for a place to live for about 6 months and when we were about to sign the lease, he decided he wasn’t ready for the commitment (that just about crushed me to death) and I wasn’t as happy with our relationship after that. I started going out less with friends and worst of all going out less with him and getting lazy in general. I didn’t realize that my sadness was sucking the life out of our relationship. Naturally, he started getting bored. When he broke up with me, I was hardly taking anything he said in since I was so horribly depressed. I do remember that he said (through tears) that he “still loves me so much that it hurts” and that he “shouldn’t have to be there to hold my hand every time things get hard”. I feel like I need to talk to him before doing the no contact step, simply to understand why he broke up with me and how I can better myself. Do you think that’s a good idea?
Love,
Soph

admin

October 30, 2013 at 10:10 pm

Firstly, you are welcome!

Secondly, I think its best to just jump right into NC without talking to him BUT you should always do what you feel is best for YOU. I won’t stop you.

Sabrina

October 30, 2013 at 5:52 pm

Hi my bf of 1 year and i broke up around july 5th. Since then we spoke every couple days. The reason why we broke up its really stupid. Everything was going s create between us, but the thing is in his life everythings was going wrong. So friday we had an argu because we were leaving 2hrs away and before we end up 2months in a roll i was doing the efforts to visit him because he ha a lot to do. But I complain not because he couldnt come visit me, its because he didnt look like he appriciate all the things that i did for him and that im supported him. I know i ame every weekend and he most miss his friends so he coudlve told me he needs time for him like i do, but he act really weird. So a week pass and we deceide to broke up. He started crying and told me he scared to letting me go because im the women of hes life but he cant make me happy if hes not happy with himself. Wich is i totaly agree. I told him im there for him if he needs anything but it hurt me more and more. So almost 4 months past when i got this big car accident, i called him i was so scared. But he was there for me. After that i realized that life is too short to not be with the one you love, so I wrote him a email and told him that and if hes not sure or dosent have me in his heart anymore then leave me alone and let me go, because its painful for me to see the man of my life not want me to help and be there for him. So he reply and told me he really does love me, he missed me (a and since were not toghetter by the time i moved closer to him 10mins away for school and for him because that was the plan). He does think of me very much and wanna talk to me but as much as he miss me he is not ready for a relationship. Then he said i wouldve probably regret he email but this is the way he feel. And he ended up the message by saying i love u. I deceide to not respond this email since friday. Yesterday he send me a joke by email and said i know im not supposed to contact u but this is really funny have a good night. I didnt reply also. So what should i do. I do moving on trying new thing but i really love him and im angry because he put me away because hes problem, but i think this i was a couple is for, when one feels down the other is there to support. The reason i told him i cant really continue this way its because i have to think of me, i didnt feel good, when he text me i was happy for a moment, and when he didnt i was stressing. Im totaly not that type of girl, i always think before i made decision thats why it took me long, but now im still wondering is hes going to do something? I need your help, reading you help me bcause i was acting like that but we didnt have the 30days…
thank you!

admin

October 30, 2013 at 10:02 pm

Ok, I am a little confused. Are you saying you haven’t done 30 days NC yet or that you ahve?
Sabrina

October 31, 2013 at 1:09 am

no, no, i didnt do the 30 days, im doing it now
admin

October 31, 2013 at 7:28 pm

Ok now that you are doing it tell me some of the things you are doing to focus on YOURSELF during this time!

John

October 30, 2013 at 3:51 pm

Dude!!

Never have I read a blog that hit’s the nail on the head on where a dude is coming from and how a girl could get her man back.

I recently ended a 9 month relationship with a girl for one of the exact issues you mentioned (not feeling appreciated). I loved this chick and her kids with everything I had (still do), but no matter what I did, nothing was ever good enough. So, I basically checked out and decided I’m going to try moving forward in life with someone I can find who does appreciate me. I miss her like crazy, but when I’m hurting while being with her, what’s the difference if I’m hurting without her?

I will say this to every lady reading this blog: This dude nails it! If the girl I broke it off with realized where I was coming from, and followed these steps, I would seriously consider getting back with her…

-John

admin

October 30, 2013 at 11:09 pm

John… I think you and I are about to become best friends!

Hahaha now, go around the internet and promote the blog everywhere!

Sorry to hear about the breakup. Maybe she just has a hard time expressing herself?
John

October 31, 2013 at 3:29 pm

Hehehe… actually pointed two friends of mine to this site and said “read it and follow it”. Also, I have added the site to my sig on a few relationship boards I frequent.

Re: My breakup…

Insecurity ruled all. She is an emotional wall builder and extremely insecure. Instead of taking a path of looking at what is in front of her (me), she tried to feed that insecurity by the age old practice of flirting with other men. I voiced my concern, but it progressed to a point of deception and dishonesty and that was the final straw with me. Sad really as the insecurity/flirting wash, rinse, repeat, cycle does nothing but make an insecure woman more insecure as we males can pickup on that in a heartbeat. Feed that insecurity and a girl will fall over herself to keep in contact with you.

Earlier in the relationship as we got closer she started to self sabotage it. She would push me away when all I wanted to do was give her support or help (I mean, it was to the point that she would not allow me to help make dinner!). I’ll admit, I did make a few mistakes along the that road that did not play nice with her insecurities, though. When we would fight/argue I would leave as whatever I did and whatever I said was wrong in her eyes. So, I would just leave the situation, head back to my place and cool off. She in turn would read it as abandonment. Honestly, I can see her point of view, but a discussion needs to go both ways. If you are not allowed to communicate your point of view, what’s the point in staying in that situation? She never once tried to bend and understand my point of view on what was happening and work it out before it got to that point of me just needing to get away (she would never take a second to see where I was coming from. In her eyes it was all me and my insecurities). In the end, I felt like I was doing all the heavy lifting in the relationship and just burned out. It’s really sad though, because I really saw a future with her and her little ones, and I would have done anything for all of them. The first 8 months of the relationship was fantastic. It was the last month (this one) that just killed it. Sadly I could see it coming and she would just not work with me. She literally pushed me away…

Ladies, I am not joking, read this blog and absorb what is on it. There is some really, really, good stuff on how the Male mind works…
admin

October 31, 2013 at 8:26 pm

Wow that is amazing! Thanks man that really means a lot.

I am sorry that she built up those emotional walls like that. I have never been in a relationship like that b/c usually it is ME building the walls up but I can imagine how gut wrenching it must be.

Are you going to try to get her back?
John

November 13, 2013 at 4:44 pm

Gave it a shot…

Opened contact with her and things went well for about 3 days. Brought the kids around took them all to dinner, and thought we were on our way back.

Then she started getting distant again. Turned down a few invites out and gave no reschedule option so I sent her a “You know where I stand regarding us, and if you want to work on recapturing what we had, let me know. Until then, don’t contact me”. A simple “Understood” was the reply I got. That was five days ago…

I’m moving on. There are only so many times you can beat a dead horse before your arm gets tired.
admin

November 13, 2013 at 9:10 pm

Yes I am sorry about that my friend :(.

Well, if you need help moving on or need another perspective I am happy to lend a hand.
John

November 13, 2013 at 10:01 pm

By all means Chris, if you have another perspective, let me know. I truly, truly, love this girl, but she absolutely refuses to put in any effort whatsoever.

I’m fully behind my moving forward and accepting the results of my decision, but I don’t think it to be fair if I was to leave any stone unturned. She meant that much to me. But sometimes love is just not enough. I am willing to “wait it out through NC” for her to “come to her senses” and work decide to work with me, or for her to take her “normal path” and just bolt. The decision is hers and hers alone as I have let her know where I stand…

Thanks, by the way…
admin

November 14, 2013 at 6:48 pm

My perspective… hmm…

Well, I think the most important thing to understand is that women are very different than us. They just think about things differently. In the end, I have found that women always want what they consider to be the bigger and better deal. They want the guy that can give them the best deal. So, you have to ask yourself. Do you give your ex the best deal?
John

October 30, 2013 at 6:18 pm

Real quick….

In some instances, a 30 day NC may actually push a guy to be gone for good…

Sandy

October 30, 2013 at 1:58 pm

Hi Chris,

I hope I get an answer, cause my case could be a bit different than most others’. I’m 24, and had only one relationship throughout my life. Four years ago, I fell in love with my ex, we spent an amazing year together, then he had to go away to further his studies, we didn’t break-up though, we spent another year together, long-distance, in which he visited frequently though. However, things didn’t work out and he broke up with me out of the blue. I discovered later that the reason was because I was nagging him to get married, and he wasnt ready. Needless to say, I was devastated, but was able to move on. A year and a half later, he contacts me again, we get back together (up until this point though, he never made it official, for 9 months). It still went long-distance, cause now he works in another country. We still saw each other every few months or so. He practically begged me to move to the country where he works, so we could spend more time together, and even move in with him, if I like. I declined the offer, stating I would never quit my job, and move just for him (although deep down, I really wanted to, and it wouldnt have been only for him). Anyways few weeks ago, he became a bit distant, physically and emotionally. I tried playing cool for a while, thinking it was just a phase, I tried talking to him about it, but he said that he cares about me, and will make it work. Things however kept falling apart. A few days ago, and when I decided that I was finally going to move, and was planning on telling him, he texted me saying that he feels that there’s something missing, and that he was glad we talked again, but that we both need to move on. I texted him back wishing him good luck, and that was it. I still love him, but I know that he doesn’t feel the same way. He never said he loved me the second time around, but his actions usually said it. I don’t know what went wrong, and I wont ever ask him. I think there might be someone else. Right now, I’m still going to move, and it’s not for him, I’m doing it because I feel that at this point in my life, all I need is drastic change. My question is, do you think I should contact him again, after I move, which might be in 2-3 months? so you think we still have a chance, to make things work for the third time? And one final thing, I know this question might seem stupid, but should I remove him from Facebook, and block him on Whatsapp, I don’t want to get jealous if he posts anything that would irritate me, plus we once had a discussion that if I keep guys I was once interested in on FB, that means that Im still interested in them. So, I don’t want him to think I cant get over him. I need your help please.

admin

October 30, 2013 at 9:48 pm

Hey I am 24 too!

Well history is certainly in your favor isn’t it. Keep him on Facebook here is why: https://www.exboyfriendrecovery.com/the-definitive-guide-to-using-facebook-to-get-your-ex-boyfriend-back/
Sandy

October 30, 2013 at 2:01 pm

When I said “move”, I meant changing my location, and moving to the country where he now lives, and get a job there. Plus I wanted to add that, even though two years ago, I was looking to get married. Right now, I’m not in a hurry, and I’m not excited about the concept of marriage anymore. I thought I would mention that, so that you wouldn’t say we have different goals.
admin

October 30, 2013 at 9:49 pm

Gotcha!

Umm… I think if you are moving there for the right reasons (not just him) you are good! Being near him will help getting him back for sure.

Lauren

October 30, 2013 at 10:30 am

Yesterday my ex apologised,Saying it was all his fault Not mine.It was a Long message,Saying that he Surfers my pain now and that a second chance is meaningful and he said that he is glad that we are friends Again.But he didnt Say what is with the Second chance…just Friends Again Or more?

admin

October 30, 2013 at 9:30 pm

I am sorry waht are you asking me?

Lise

October 30, 2013 at 6:36 am

I really need help.
My boyfriend broke up with me 2 weeks ago and we were together for 2 years. This happened once before 3 months ago but we got back together straight after, because he realised that he wanted to be with me. When he broke up with me it was a hard time for me as I had just found out that my grandmother is going to pass away soon from cancer, I also have been stressed from two jobs and exams and I was taking it out on him, unintentionally. His reason for breaking up with me changes all the time, but he says it is because he thinks that he isn’t independent and that he doesn’t want to be in a relationship with me-that he was becoming unhappy being with me. I’ve tried so hard to not contact him and to give him his space. The last few days I’ve received messages on Facebook from him apologizing for what he’s done and him telling me that he misses me more than anything and that he’s so lonely. He has also told me that he still loves me but he just can’t be with me at the moment. We go to the same school as each other and he seems to act like nothings happened or he ignores me, it’s just hard because we have the same friend group.
For the first year and a half of being together, it was perfect. But for the last 6 months we would just have stupid little arguments, that would just be blown up a lot.
I do agree that him and I do need space, but I don’t want to lose him completely. I just find, like you have said above, that the break up was a rash decision and that we actually were happy together, majority of the time.
I know I can do the 30 day NC easily.
Do you think I should give this all a go?
Can I please have some advice?

admin

October 30, 2013 at 9:23 pm

Hahaha I find it funny that you think 30 days of NC is “easy.”

Literally 90% of people who try it fail it.

I do think you should give it a go though.
Lise

October 30, 2013 at 9:03 am

I’m also quite anxious over the fact that he’s already talking to this girl, who keeps messaging me if him and I are together still.
So I’m not sure if this would work because I don’t want to get my hopes up that it might and find out in 30 days that he’s with her.
admin

October 30, 2013 at 9:30 pm

Well, I guess the other thing you can try is limited contact..

Katie

October 30, 2013 at 2:41 am

My boyfriend of two years and I broke up. I know we love each other so much. We have never cheated on each other. The first year was great, we didn’t fight that much. Just a few arguments. But the 2nd year was rough, we’ve been fighting a lot and the reason is, he thinks I nag too much and just want to fight all the time, always looking for reasons to get mad and never want to drop things. I admit I was those things. But I had reasons, for the first year, we lived together he lost his job and I had to pay for everything. He tried looking for job but I thought he could do more. I moved back to my mom’s and he’s been living with a friend. He doesn’t make any money at his job, he’s a server. I told him he should find another job but he’s too lazy to even apply. We fight all the time because I want him to strive some more and he thinks I’m controlling him. 3 days ago he broke up with me after we fight over the phone. He never wants to talk on the phone, I explain to him how can we communicate if we don’t. He yelled at me and told me I am very toxic and I should just leave him alone. I love him but I don’t know if I should do these things to get him back. Help please.

admin

October 30, 2013 at 4:19 am

I say definitely do these things haha.

Marie

October 29, 2013 at 12:15 pm

I broke up with him. . He didn’t contact me atall or comment on my breakup till like 20 days into my no contact period. I didn’t reply. .31 days have passed now so I sent him a message that goes thus:”I just heard an eminem recent song… it’s really good! It made me think of you. ..I know how much you love Eminem.”…the thing is im worried sick that I myt be pregnant for him… we dated approximately 3 months and had sex only once. . It was like a long distance relationship cus he had alot going on in his life at that moment. .I wanna get back at least to talking terms with him because I Might be pregnant for him and don’t know how to let him know. . There’s no information on how to get yourex back because you might be pregnantfor him forhim to know. .without coming across like you are trying to use it as an excuse to “trap” him back.

admin

October 30, 2013 at 3:52 am

Hmmm how did he respond to your message?
Marie

October 30, 2013 at 9:00 am

Sent the message at like 1pm Yesterday,..He hasnt responded yet..even though I know he has probably seen the message cus i can see when he’s with his phone on watsap cus his number is still stored in my phone. . And any phone contact is automatically added to your watsap( if they have also have an account with watsap(. One question though, when you talk about texting, you don’t say if we can text via bbm or watsap. .. it seems you only recommend the regular phone texting…which I did. Any particular reason?
admin

October 30, 2013 at 9:28 pm

Oh, I always thought whatsapp was included as texting. I mean, I have whatsapp and consider it texting. Same diff imo.
Marie

November 1, 2013 at 10:33 am

I know yousaid no one liners but i messaged him last nite on watsap… saying “Hello robin” he responded immediately. . Then I said, ” jst saying hey, I’m off to bed goodnite”… he said “alright dear, nice to hear from you, goodnite”
I messaged him cus I felt the message I sent last time may have seemed wierd to him.. and I wanted to sound more real. . Was this alright and should I now leave for another week?
admin

November 1, 2013 at 6:53 pm

Well thats good I guess.

But still, not a fan of that approach.
Marie

November 2, 2013 at 4:27 am

But u didn’t say. .. do I leave him till next week? And when and how do I tell him I’m late? Wouldn’t he be mad when I do tell him, that I didn’t mention since?
admin

November 2, 2013 at 7:00 pm

Sorry you lost me. Say what?
Marie

November 4, 2013 at 8:21 pm

I want to send my next msg. ..I remember yousaid I should pass it thru u so u could tweak it, Here goes!: “Lord! It just came to my mind…Do you remember when I first visited you…and I was chatting with you and mustaphar about egypt… and he brought out a Blue voodoo stone… I was really scared and tipsy from the drinks we had…Lol…but then, the night ended perfectly when you kissed me…I fell in love?” … is it alright or its too intense?
Marie

November 7, 2013 at 1:42 pm

Seems iv exhausts the reply chain. . Lol. ..well I texted him this:0MG! you Know what just popped into my mind…Do you remember when I first visited you…and I was chatting with you and mustaphar about Egypt…then he brought out a Blue Voodoo stone…Lol!! I was really scared…But then I felt so safe with you..” he replied that I’d always be safe with him. I then told him I had a meeting in the morning and I had to go to bed and it was lovely chatting with him. He responded that he missed me and good night. Do I keep sending remember move to the jealously bit? Also I’m messaging from Nigeria so I don’t think I have access to buy your book but I’ll see if I can find a way. . If I do, is it possible to get a discount? Please reply on the next step to take, I appreciate all your help! Stay blessed!
admin

November 7, 2013 at 6:35 pm

Here contact me at [email protected] and I will give you a half off discount.
admin

November 5, 2013 at 5:18 pm

You have the right idea but too intense. Just make it something casual. Do you have any inside jokes?
Marie

November 5, 2013 at 8:47 am

And is 5 days too long…I sent my 1st contact message on the 1st?
admin

November 5, 2013 at 6:23 pm

no its not
Marie

November 2, 2013 at 11:06 am

By the way, may I just say that you are doing a wonderful thing for women with your blog…You are a blessing and may you be blessed. .. keep it up!
admin

November 2, 2013 at 7:27 pm

Could you follow me around all day and whisper compliments in my ear when I get down? Too much to ask?
Marie

October 30, 2013 at 9:14 am

Between, what do I do if he doesn’t reply the message? Do I just forget about the relationship and move on despite me still wanting him for various reasons? And do you think the message was alright or I could have composed it better? If so, how do I correct it?
admin

October 30, 2013 at 9:31 pm

No you wait a week and try again with a better message. If he keeps not responding take the hint and move on.

I think it could have been better. Next time you text him run your message by me here and I will tweak it for ya.

anna

October 29, 2013 at 11:56 am

Im scared that the 30 days NC rule will make him completely move on and never want to get back into a relationship. i dont want to bug him to make him know im still here, but i dont want to go 30 days with no contact cos im afraid he will be so over it all and well moved on. help 🙁

admin

October 30, 2013 at 3:51 am

The chances of that happening are very low. It is a possibility I won’t lie but it is a very small one.

Sometimes in order to get the guy you have to be willing to lose the guy. Weigh the risks and make your own decision.

Anonymous :)

October 29, 2013 at 11:34 am

Hey,
My boyfriend broke up with me after nearly 8 months of us going out. We were each other’s first. I think I became a bit too attached and that’s probably why we broke up because he just said he didn’t want to be with me anymore..
After like 2 weeks of breaking up we started speaking again and before we knew it we were in a friends with benefits relationship which lasted about 6-7 months. During this period he dated another girl, and I told him that we wouldn’t be doing anything while he was with her. I cut contact but within a week or so of him dating her he contacted me and asked advice on their relationship from me and then he said how I was way better than her and seemed to care about me. Then he finished it with her and we continued as normal. We had rows, ”split-ups”, we even had romantic moments, and he often seemed a bit jealous (comments such as: these shorts are too short, and also he got angry when he found out i was speaking with another guy)..
Recently, 2 weeks ago or something, he was acting weird and i asked him if there was a girl in his life.. He said yes, and then after a small conversation he told me we were ”finished”. So I told him we didn’t have anything to finish, I wrote this long message about how I would be there for him if he needed me in a bad situation, and how he would always be special for me and that i wouldn’t contact him anymore..
He never replied but he didn’t delete me off facebook either (once we had such a big row that he did).. Anyway, I’ve always wanted to get back to how we were in the beginning, and I was hoping fwb would take us back to that stage.. I haven’t spoken to him since he said it was finished but i often look at his profile and he doesn’t seem to be dating anyone else atm.
NOTE: He always knew i still loved him, even when we weren’t dating anymore, and it isn’t the first time we ”broke-up” the fwb. Also our houses are opposite each other.

Do you have any extra suggestions on how to get him back? Do you think I stand a chance? Could he still be interested? Any advice?

admin

October 30, 2013 at 3:50 am

FWB hardly ever works.

That is the major issue I am seeing here.
Anonymous :)

October 30, 2013 at 10:49 am

So do you suggest that if we start getting close again, I don’t give him the option of fwb? All or nothing kind of thing?
I’m just worried that then I’ll loose him for good.
admin

October 30, 2013 at 9:32 pm

FWB is NEVER a good idea. I am speaking from seeing HUNDREDS of women fail with it.
Anonymous :)

October 31, 2013 at 1:48 pm

Ok thanks for your advice I’ll keep it in mind :)) I’m on day 15 of the no contact period, I’m hoping the text thing will work :)) Thanks again
admin

October 31, 2013 at 7:55 pm

You will be ok!

Keep in touch.

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