The Definitive Guide For Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back

8,582 thoughts on “The Complete Guide For Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back”

Trisha

October 23, 2013 at 5:46 am

Hi,
I was in long distance relationship with a man who was madly in love with me. He cheated on me because of a good matrimonial alliance and when I got to know, I fought, cried, pleaded and begged to make the relationship work. I tried no contact too but It dint work out.For 2 months I tried best to save the relationship but 15 days back I was firm on my decision and asked him not to call me ever and strictly following no contact and trying to move on. Do you think after loosing self respect and being available, needy for 2 months now this rule can work. I hate myself sometimes for being needy and desperate.Help

admin

October 23, 2013 at 10:03 pm

I think it can as long as you don’t break it.

Kay

October 23, 2013 at 4:06 am

Hey Chris,

So I did what you said and did the no contact rule for a month and a week. And yesterday I sent him a msg saying

“I was at heb yesterday buying groceries and I got like 20 of those coupon things, lol made me think of you. Anywho I heard you were in Russia and wanted to say be safe and hope your doing well.”

There has been no response since…. I’m kinda concerned as to why… I mean he is in Russia I suppose but I think he got my msg… What should I do?

-Kay

admin

October 23, 2013 at 9:59 pm

If he doesn’t text back wait a week and then resend him another text.
Kay

October 24, 2013 at 3:20 am

Ok. But how should the next msg be like? I’ve been reading your stuff and it doesn’t explain how to send a next msg if he doesn’t reapond to the first…. I just really don’t want to mess this up….

Thanks,

– Kay
admin

October 24, 2013 at 7:50 pm

If he doesn’t respond to the first you wait a week and try again with another type of message. It is kind of hard to explain with the context of the situation tbh.
Kay

October 25, 2013 at 12:16 am

Thank you!!! Hopefully all of this works!

– Kay

Patricia

October 23, 2013 at 2:45 am

I dated a guy for 3 months and things went a little south because i asked him where was this going however prior to him disappearing on me, I felt genuinely that he had a strong interest. So I didn’t make it to 30 but I was 1 day shy of 3 weeks. I used the method for the first text however and he replied “yes we always have great moments together” hope all has been well and this year is winding down. I responded with I agree, a brief explanation of how I’ve been and glad to hear things are going well.

So first let me say this concept you have, WORKS! But what do I do next? I really like him but do I start the 30 days over?

admin

October 23, 2013 at 8:45 pm

Haha I know it works!

Just add another week on to NC and youll be fine.

Diana

October 23, 2013 at 12:09 am

Hi. so I’ve commented on this before, when my boyfriends broke up with me and is very insistent on being friends. I’ve been doing the no contact rule for about a week and a ha;f and he still messages me and tries to talk to me all the time. I ignore him but im just wondering if this insisting in keeping communications is simply because he want my friendship? It seems like he has no interest in me otherwise at all. Is there even a chance that continuing the no contact rule will change that? :/

admin

October 23, 2013 at 8:32 pm

Yes there is a chance BUT it has to do with what you do after NC as well.
Diana

October 24, 2013 at 1:06 am

I told him clearly that I did not want to b friends and he thinks im just being petty. What should i do after the NC period?
admin

October 24, 2013 at 7:37 pm

Pretty much what the E-Book and this page suggessts…

Loesj

October 22, 2013 at 2:56 pm

Hello,

I’ll try to keep my story short, but here goes:
My now ex boyfriend (called Chris, imagine that) and me had been together for almost 4 years. We live in a house together. Never did we have any major issues and me (and so many other people) saw us as the perfect couple that would live a happy life together forever. Unfortunately for me, something changed around the beginning of september. We had a minor argument (I honestly can’t even remember what it was about) and apparently that was the day my ex boyfriend ‘stopped loving me’. (I was only told this afterwards) We tried to make things better for a month or so but nothing really changed. He says he’s unsure about a lot of things in his life at the moment, so I think he’s just really confused about what he really wants. He’s also not interested in a new relationship (with someone new that is) or other girls, he just wants space for now.

The thing is, I feel like we’ve not actually really tried to turn this around, give it our all. He broke up with me a little over a week ago, but we still share this house and most of the time it actually just happens naturally, with no real awkwardness or fights. We even went out for dinner a couple days ago and all was fine, except that we didn’t hold hands or talked about romantic things.

He told me his still cares about me a lot but just doesn’t feel the love at the moment. I think one of the main reasons is that because of his job, he’s either away for a month, or at home for a couple months. He’s not been away for a couple of months and I spent a lot of time at home too because I don’t have a job right now unfortunately. I feel like he grew bored of me if anything, because when I asked him what he thought were the main 3 reasons for him breaking up with me, he couldn’t actually answer me.

So it took me a good week to stop crying and to crawl out of this dark pit again, and now I try to spend a lot of time with friends, I try new hobbies (I feel like I tried to spend too much time with my (ex) boyfriend and not enough time with my friends, which probably made him feel ‘trapped’) and I feel ‘okay’. I just try to spend as much time out of the house as I can for 2 reasons; 1: to give him the space he wants and probably needs, 2: to find myself again as I feel like I’ve lost myself along the way. I need to reconnect with friends and pick up new hobbies, which I’m trying to do right now. I’m obviously very sad still but I try to hide that from him as well as I can.

In 2 weeks he’ll be going to the USA for about 5 weeks, and my last hope is to try the no contact rule for about 4 weeks of those 5 weeks. I’d start basically as soon as he leaves, just wishing him a good trip and all that, but after that stop contact for a month. For now I just try to keep everything as pleasant and friendly as possible as we still share this house and that won’t change in the next couple weeks.

The thing that scares me a lot is that he’s from Scotland, and I’m from the Netherlands and we’ve been living together in the Netherlands for almost 4 years. If he leaves, he’ll move back to the UK I’m sure and I just don’t want to never see him again. His family has encouraged me to come and visit them anyway, as they all like me an awful lot.

Am I doing the right thing? And will it be a good thing to do the NC as he’s already out of the country anyway? I don’t want to lose this guy as I feel like we are a perfect match, just going through a rough patch (obviously very rough) and I honestly feel like this CAN work, if only we approach this the right way before maybe trying again. I think I know what he dislikes about me and to me, it’s quite easy to fix that.

Thanks in advance!

admin

October 23, 2013 at 7:57 pm

Yup, you might want to check out the LDR post if you haven’t already. A lot there can help you.

Lee

October 22, 2013 at 1:06 pm

Chris –

How many days should you take before moving on to each step? Should you send a few “Good Times” texts a few days a part from each other and then move on to the “Jealousy” and the others? Or is one text for each catagory what should be done?

admin

October 23, 2013 at 7:50 pm

You have to kind of play it by ear. If you get positive responses you can move on to the next step if you see fit. I do a pretty good job explaining this in the E-Book.

Melanie

October 22, 2013 at 10:32 am

I and my ex were together for 1.5 years before breaking up in June. We never had a fight, not even an argument. It was the most loving relationship one would have ever seen. So he dreamt of getting into a university of his choice for his masters but unfortunately didn’t get through. He was shattered. We broke up the same night. He’s been feeling empty and meaningless since then. I felt pathetic after the break up but I wanted to be with him then. To support him. We talked nicely, like very close friends but he didn’t want a relationship. It has been 4 months now, and we still talk nicely but the intimacy of a relationship isn’t there. I miss him a lot. I don’t know about him, but he says he does miss me too and just doesn’t express as much as I do. How can I get him back ?

admin

October 23, 2013 at 7:41 pm

Well, have you implemented a NC rule before?

JJ

October 22, 2013 at 10:06 am

Hi, my ex boyfriend broke up with me 4 of months ago,i spent a couple of weeks trying to win him back with no lucky, so i decided to give him some space and had minimal contact with him for the next 3 months. Having read this manual since i implemented the no contact rule mid september. 2 weeks ago i got back in touch with him however his responses was very neutral. i plucked up the courage to ask him if he wanted to meet for a drink but hes told me he was away on holiday so was busy he also said he didnt think the new girl he is dating would approve of us meeting.

If not sure what my next step should be, do i carry on talking to him? or implement another months no contact rule, or do i just let it be as he seems to have moved on so i might be wasting my time.

admin

October 23, 2013 at 7:36 pm

Hmmm… from everything I have read about your stuation. I would implement another months NC.
JJ

October 30, 2013 at 9:26 pm

So I took your advice any started another month of NC..but I received a text fro. Him saying saying ive been spreading rumours about him (which isnt true)I spoke to him on the phone be seemed angry as was I at the time which didn’t help the situation. Is there any going bk from this mess??
admin

October 31, 2013 at 7:06 pm

Hmm… you have already talked to him and got the situation figured out?
JJ

October 31, 2013 at 8:10 pm

We didnt resolve the situation I ended up putting the phone down on him in a moment of rage I couldn’t bbelieve he was was accusing me of spreading the rumours.I left him a text saying we need to talk. He replied saying he didn’t want to talk to me. Hes obviously really angry. Not sure what to do now..what sshould my next step be?
admin

November 1, 2013 at 6:08 pm

Let things cool down a bit. It’s not worth talking if you are angry.
JJ

November 5, 2013 at 5:27 pm

Ive calmed down now and have decided to let go of this relationship. Thanks for your advice anyway 🙂
admin

November 6, 2013 at 4:32 pm

Well good for you! Hope everything works out in the recovery process.
JJ

October 31, 2013 at 8:13 pm

The text I sent him was the next day after I put the phone down on him.

Hye

October 22, 2013 at 2:43 am

My boyfriend and i have been dating for a year and 4 months and we are both 20 years old. he goes to school in Maryland and i go to school in New York City. This semester things have escalated badly and he broke up with me because he is not ready for a relationship. We are interracial couple. and also he is diagnosed with bipolar. we broke up about 5 times last month til now. i really love him and i want us to go back together. but i’m way too impatient to wait and it kills me that i can’t talk to him, what should i do? i can’t imagine him out of my life. he has made me into a better person 🙁

admin

October 22, 2013 at 10:33 pm

Have you read the LDR post?

Michelle

October 22, 2013 at 12:42 am

Hi so im 17 years old and my boyfriend broke up with me because his mom thinks when he becomes a football player i will take his money which is a lie but we have been together for a year and 7 months and his mother made him break up twice (she broke us up before and he came back) with me. If he didnt she was going to transfer him schools and make his life miserable. So we broke up and 9 days later he starts dating his ex that his mom approves of but he still says he wanted me but couldnt have me and that our relationship was the best and when he sees me at school he always smiles and is very happy idk what to do i miss him but should i try? Does he miss me? Im not sure any advice?

Michelle

October 22, 2013 at 9:33 pm

He dated he for a couple months then we got together for a year and 4 months then he got back with her for a month then broke up with her for me and then we just recently broke up cu of his mom then he got with her 9 days after we split
admin

October 22, 2013 at 2:41 am

At 17 boys are all over the place so it is hard to say if it is a rebound or not. How long did he date her prior to their breakup?

Tori

October 21, 2013 at 10:14 pm

So me and my ex were dating for almost 8 months. We were online-friends for about 2 months while he was out of town for school and during that time I was dating someone off and on until I finally couldn’t stand that guy. He was there for me and helped me get over that relationship. He graduated and came home and the next day we met in person and went on a date. That night, he asked me to be his girlfriend. A few days later was my son’s birthday party and he graciously accepted an invite. He found a job in his field about 3 months into our relationship in the oilfield so he was away a lot. We made our time together as cherished as possible. He worked with that company for about 3 months and suddenly lost his job. We had a couple little disagreements throughout the relationship but nothing that wasn’t over within a few hours. So about a week and a half shy of our 8 month mark, we got into our first real argument. He said he couldn’t handle the stress of me having a child. At that point, I was shocked because of how great he was with my son and how he’d asked me to move in with him when he moved out of his parents’ house. I had the initial reaction that most girls do which was being terribly upset and trying to talk to him to get some sort of explanation. He went out of town to his brother’s house to clear his mind and he’s been gone about a week. I just read about NC Rule and I talked to him earlier briefly just seeing how he was doing. I am starting NC immediately now that I know about it because he was really short with me earlier. Anyway, during the last 8 days since we broke up he has told me that he does want to get back together with me eventually but he really needs to focus on getting himself more stable (no job and living with his parents at almost 30 is really starting to take its toll on him). I can’t help but question if he was first using my son as the initial excuse to hide the real truth. He said “it won’t be next week, it’ll take a few months probably but of course I still want to be friends and you can still text me but just not anything about a relationship because that is only going to push me away.”
My question…is the 30 days NC rule applicable here?
And any advice would be reeeeally helpful considering most of the replies to your article I’ve read on here do not have their ex telling them they can contact them and their ex telling them they are getting back together after he gets his stuff together. Thanks in advance!

admin

October 22, 2013 at 2:35 am

It should be applicable!

Martinez

October 21, 2013 at 5:57 pm

I have read the success stories and a lot of the guys contacted them during NC, and I have a feeling that those were long term relationships, but can it work to rebuild sth that lasted only shortly?
+ are there more examples of texts to send to ex in the ebook?

admin

October 22, 2013 at 2:10 am

Much more examples of texts and even more texting principles to follow. The E-Book is really where I put a lot of my knowledge!

Koala

October 21, 2013 at 11:38 am

Hi I have a short question is it possible to get your ex boyfriend back when you became to needy and emotinal and if you were the one who broke up? Do u maybe have some advice on getting hem back then?

admin

October 22, 2013 at 1:46 am

Yup but it means you have some work ahead of you.
Koala

October 22, 2013 at 9:12 am

I think so too. Wich methode would you recommend me?

Simone

October 20, 2013 at 4:38 pm

It was so helpful to read some of the other emails on here and your comments are extremely objective and honest.

So my story, I was in a very intense relationship for five months that was really incredible. We got along extremely well and within a few months, after telling me he was madly in love with me, he asked me to move in with him and started talking about the future.
Children, buying a property together. I didn’t say no to these things (I’m a bit of a hopeless romantic) but I didn’t say yes, my response was ‘that’d be amazing but you need to think about this as it’s quite new into this relationship’. His background was that he’d only separated from his ex wife of over 15 years a year before, so I was wary about rushing into anything. We had incredible times together never really argued and only had a couple of disagreements in the time we were together over petty things.

So I was a bit blindsided to get a phone call after a week of silence with the words ‘I’m not feeling it anymore, and this is too much hard work repeated over and over again.’ Other than that repeated mantra I was never really given a valid reason. Since then I have only contacted him once via email to express how upset/shocked I was and to organize to get my stuff back. I have not contacted him since but am absolutely broken as reading back through his last messages, thinking about how he behaved, things he said just a week ago there was no indication this was coming. If anything it was the opposite.

I guess after talking to a dozen pals or more I was looking for some clarity from an external source. Without exception they have all said it sounds like he has had a major freak out and that I will hear from him again.

Should I just let this go or be patient hoping he’ll realize his mistake?

admin

October 20, 2013 at 9:13 pm

I try to be objective and honest. Problem is that time IS an issue for me. I have to keep the site rolling and so many people want advice so I am not able to give everyone everything they need but I do my best.

Breakup out of the blue huh? 🙁

Could it be something like a mid life crisis?
Simone

October 21, 2013 at 6:45 am

Possibly as he only focused on the irrelevant negative issues that were nothing and seemed to forget all the positive and amazing experiences we shared making comparisons to his ex and implied it was all going to happen over again. Ironically I’m not angry at him, I’m just upset and confused. Would like to see him again as I thought he was very special.
admin

October 22, 2013 at 1:36 am

Yea, people like that are tough to deal with. My friend is dealing with a bf like that and she has great results with NC but SHE can’t ever listen to me and stick to it hahaha.
Kirsty

October 28, 2013 at 9:03 am

That happened to me… He broke up with me randomly..

I tried not to talk to him for 30 days but it was too hard… Any advice on how to try not to contact with him??
admin

October 29, 2013 at 2:21 am

Yes, erase his number and give it to a trusted friend… Stay away from him on Facebook or other social media.

hdub

October 20, 2013 at 3:59 pm

Hello!
I was in a relationship with someone for 4 years. He broke up with me a month ago and I have been in NC for that full month.
We were having issues that were largely fixable. I asked him about our future and what was going on with us and why he hadn’t shown me signs of wanting to go to the next step of commitment, (things like moving in together, etc.). He broke up with me two weeks after this conversation which was only partially about the future.
I have come to realize that is why he broke up with me. He cried to me and said he was scared and confused when he ended things. Clearly he isn’t sure about being in a long term relationship. Is it really possible to get an ex back that is scared of commitment and the future?

He definitely loves me and wants me it seems but he is just telling himself to not be in a relationship so he can focus on himself. How do I let him know its okay for him to focus on himself and still possible to be with me at the same time. I’ve realized in this month I need to focus on myself and my future as well but I know its possible for me to do that and still be with him. However I know its all good if he doesn’t want to try things again. I want him to know it is possible to do it. How do we talk about things like this without him getting scared and running?

admin

October 20, 2013 at 9:11 pm

Its possible. What are you specifically having issues with?
hdub

October 21, 2013 at 3:57 am

I guess specifically our other issues were that I could be needy at times, he is really busy with work/school/clubs and I am already graduated. But at the same time I was also being distant and cold at other times because I was scared about our future. I know my behavior was not okay and I have definitely gained perspective and independence in this last month of NC.
From what I hear from friends he has been really sad and has been drinking more. He doesn’t like to go out on the town a lot so he has just been hanging out with his friends mostly. All this information makes me think its possible for him to get back with me. At the same time the fact that he hasn’t contacted me and he is the one that broke up with me makes me think he doesn’t want to give it another chance.
Do you think I’ve got a chance? I’ve really been working on my ungettable-ness and went on a date with someone last week that i wasn’t attracted to at all :/ I really know it will be okay with or without him but I am really wanting another go at things.
admin

October 22, 2013 at 1:31 am

Ungettableness. I think I found my new favorite person!

Yes you have a chance!
hdub

October 26, 2013 at 4:32 pm

yeah I have been finished with no contact for more than a week now. I texted him this week and just had a short conversation to start our communication back up. It went well and he ended it with “thanks, I hope you’re happy.” which I wasn’t sure how to interpret over text so I just said “thanks same to you”
I plan on texting him again this week with the “remembering the good times” but I was thinking of asking him to meet up and catch up as well. What do you think? too soon? I feel like it would be good and I am ready but I also just don’t wanna rush things either.
hdub

October 22, 2013 at 10:58 pm

sorry ignore that last comment.
I had a bad night.
I texted him today and it went great. We were both friendly to each other. I ended things and simply opened the lines of communication. I feel so much better after having done so. I think I may ask him to meet up in a week or so. we’ll see. He ended our conversation with “i hope you are happy” I think he is sad about how things ended overall.
It feels good at the very least to be able to talk to him now and not have the mystery of silence bothering me. With that said I am also glad I didn’t talk to him for those first 30 days.
Any advice on how to proceed from here? I feel like I can move a bit faster than your suggestions on your site due to the fact that we were together for four years and both have no hard feeling towards each other.
Thanks 🙂
admin

October 23, 2013 at 8:23 pm

I had a bad night too. I was sick haha.

You are completed with your 30 days NC correct?
hdub

October 22, 2013 at 4:11 am

haha Thanks!
I am starting to think that if I do have a chance it is a low chance. I’m pretty sure he dropped me because he got scared of being in a committed long term relationship and I put too much pressure on him. Two friends have told me they have seen him hanging out with girls (in mixed company…but still). I’m pretty sure he has moved on or at least a lot more than I have.
I still feel too much emotion towards him. Should I lengthen my NC period? Or should I just freaking talk to him to make myself feel better about knowing where he is at? I mean we were together for 4 years.
admin

October 23, 2013 at 6:55 pm

Does he have a history of commitment problems?

What do you think? Do think think your situation calls for a longer NC rule?

Kirsty

October 20, 2013 at 11:27 am

Hello. I am 24 years old. My ex boyfriend just broke up with me 3 weeks ago. I am still in love with him.

The broke up was very random and sudden. We had an amazing 1 year 9 months together. We did not fight or anything. When he broke up with me, he gave me a reason. He said that he grown out of love with me.. but then I found out that he just worried what if I don’t find a job near him.. he only live one hour away from me. He did not communicate with me about how he was feeling.. I would talk to him about it and sort something out..

At the moment, I am doing my internship as part of university. I got about 4 weeks left and also I will going on holiday for a month without my ex boyfriend. Do you think this might be the reason that he want to broke up with me to cover his pain that he hardly see him even though we talked everyday, share photos, talk on facetime??

At the moment, we still talking to each other. He want to be my friend. When we discussed about his reasons for breaking up with him and me wanting him back, he think we should be like ‘take a break or be on a break’ until I get back from holiday.. we will see how we go from there..

I still want him back… should I follow ur method??

admin

October 20, 2013 at 9:05 pm

Yes absolutely follow th emethod. I think it can work really really well for you.

TheNia103

October 20, 2013 at 5:17 am

Thanks for this. My boyfriend and I of almost two years broke up last night, and this page gave me some comfort. Our back story is this: we have had chemistry for over four years. Around 2/3 years ago we came into each other’s orbits again, instantly connected and became inseparable best friends. A few months later we decided we were too in love with each other not to give a relationship a go. It was generally a happy, respectful and loving relationship. There were the standard ups and downs, and I felt overwhelmingly that I was a better partner – largely due to my having more experience and maturity. We had external situations that made things a bit hard on us, but our love and support and attraction of each other never diminished. About three months ago, I was feeling pretty unhappy that he hadn’t really progressed/improved much on the effort front, so I decided to have an open and honest chat with him. He revealed that he had deeper feelings for me than I expected and begged I give him some time to step up and be the person he thought I deserved, rather than breaking up with him. Unfortunately, after a few good days, little fights began happening and it sometimes became big fights. From then until now, I can’t remember a period of more than two weeks peace. It was sad, because everytime we got our hopes up after a period of fighting and subsequently making up, it seemed the peaceful and loving days were too shortlived. After two failed attempts to break up in person – which failed because we just ended up declaring how in love we were with each other and how we couldn’t bear our lives without the other, we tried last night to do things in a less emotional and sudden way. Whereas I kept telling him the past few months that I would never get back together with him or be friends with the past few months, he really wanted me to consider the possibility that we would rebuild and have a future – it’s just that now wasn’t our time. Essentially we broke up because we both needed some time away from fighting and some time away to see if we actually are happier without each other. I’m trying NC, but he’s already messaged twice today. I don’t think he’ll last very long with not contacting me so I’m not sure how to approach things in the best way to ensure there’s some hope of a future. I’m trying to just see it as ended forever so I don’t get my hopes up. Is this is the right approach?

admin

October 20, 2013 at 8:58 pm

Yes that is the right approach.

If it gets ridiculous with him texting ou constantly just send him something like “please, I need some time alone right now.”
TheNia103

October 22, 2013 at 6:19 am

This is harder than I thought…I haven’t buckled or contacted him yet, but do you have any advice on how I can distract myself in the few moments of weakness that happen? On a bigger scale I’m being healthy, heading out lots and focusing on other things but when that sinking feeling in my stomach hits because I know I can’t talk to him all of a sudden after talking to him everyday for two years, it can become very overwhelming…

Also just quickly re Facebook, I deleted him pretty much within an hour of the break-up which was a dumb move indeed. He admitted the next day he was looking at all my pics and looking at my friend’s pages to try and see if he could see what I was doing/how I was. I didn’t realise before I de-friended him that Facebook could have been a huge advantage, I deleted him because I thought it might make not contacting/thinking about him easier. Obviously three days in, I’m not going to re-add him but should I start making some of my posts/photos public in case he has a stalk?

Cheers
admin

October 23, 2013 at 7:22 pm

If you are ok with that. I do have a Facebook post here: https://www.exboyfriendrecovery.com/the-definitive-guide-to-using-facebook-to-get-your-ex-boyfriend-back/

Tina

October 20, 2013 at 4:52 am

Okay so overall my ex an I broke up last week and come to find out hes talking to someone else whos very similar to me . The reason we broke up was because alot was going on and we were always arguing . . he was basically fed up and so was I but I love him dearly and I know he does too . The reason hes talking to this chick is because shes helping him move on from me . He does like her tho .. thats what he told me . The last time I seen him , was to get my stuff .. he was crying . well we both were lol it was a very emotional thing but he kept saying we cant be together . even after everything . He told me he wanted space and that we should get our stuff together .. & that maybe in the future things could work .. We hugged and was crying lol and he kissed my forehead like twice . . i felt like poop -.-
so i left it at that . The next day I made a mistake in calling him at night . . he was talking to her on the phone but i guess she was asleep on the phone as to the reason why he picked up .. we spoke for 20 mins and he explained to me how we couldnt be together .. we had a bad past but i mean who didnt . . even before we broke up , we was pretty happy but the arguing ruined it -.- OH and i forgot , i broke up with him first but i thought , we would get back together but he ignored me .. until i went to see him in person .. SO while on the phone we both were crying AGAIN .. he hasnt cried for me in a LOOOONG time lol so i was confused -.- we were together for a year and 3 months and we was always together like everyday . I lived with him and things got bad .. but all in all we were very much in love .. ALSO another reason why we cant work cause my family doesnt like him -.- that gave him a lot of pressure i guess .. soo yeah back to the last phone convo , we hung up on “good terms” .. but i was upset .. deep in my heart i knew this isnt how we should end .. deep in my heart I know this is meant to be .. its been like 4 days of no contact and i texted him because supposedly he almost died in a close crash smh ” I said “You almost died ? Stop looking at your phone while driving ! Be careful and Take care(:” and he replied “Nahhh you know i can drive , wyd <3" HE GAVE ME A HEART ?! wtf ? before he said he didnt wanna be with me so im likeeeee panicking and this all happened the day im writing this lol so i replied back "Still , be careful ! lol (: GN" then he replied "Ight night" .. then i left it at that .. idk if thats a sign of hope or should i go on with the NC . I have so many good ideas of texting him next time and i know forsure hes gonna end up reminiscing on them .. but i dont wanna ruin it by doing it too soon .. alsooo .. i heard that the girl hes talking to is coming back to town next week and he is willing to pick her up at the airport .. I dont wanna wait till after because im scared i will lose the chance of getting him back .. my question is , should i restart the NC rule even tho im scared that when he sees her things will probably end or should i go on to the Remembering The Good Times part ? its only been 4 days of no contact hahaha i messed up but then i kinda feel like i didnt -.- UGHHH ! Also , his cousin is a good friend of mine and she said shes gonna talk to him about us tomorrow . NOT my idea but i mean she said she was gonna do it and tell me what he says .. Theres a family birthday party tomorrow and theres a good chance hes going so thats when shes gonna talk to him .. Please let me know what I should do . As of right now I feel emotionally stable just confused and if he rejects me again , ill be sad but i mean ill move on . I learned alot from this and thank you !

admin

October 20, 2013 at 8:56 pm

Good attitude. YOu ahve the I want him back but don’t need him back attitude and that is important.

Definitely try out NC and really work to become the UG during it!

Minerva

October 19, 2013 at 4:51 pm

My boy, let’s call him L are from 2 different countries and we met in a third country 3 and a half years ago and started dating. I relocated to his nation, studied the language, lived with his family, and for the most part was very happy. I left his country to go home and figure out what to career-wise. We did long distance again for 6 months. He asked me to marry him, I said yes, his mom introduced me as her daughter in law, gave me her wedding ring, and his dad adores me.

L is here in the US. He got here in late July (his second trip here) following a teaching conference in Dallas and came here to stay in my parents’ house with me, just like I did in his country for 14 months in total over two trips with barely a hitch. He wanted to move here and the idea we’d agreed on was for him to use this time to start to establish himself here and get on his feet. We wanted to get married. My conditions for getting married were us on our feet, working toward something education-related and/or employment with enough money to live on. Late last year, he’d expressed interest in teaching his language to the gov’t; he’s a talented teacher and it pays pretty well, so I was on board. Then he dropped that and said he wanted to get into cyber security work and possibly a second bachelor’s degree for that; again I was supportive. Then once he’s home, he started to discuss carpentry, then being the boss of several different part-time carpentry businesses, then switching jobs completely every six months. The only feasible idea he had I think was an online English language teaching website he was trying to start up with a partner of his in back home. I eventually got behind that despite my misgivings about it having nothing to do with transitioning here.

There were some things that I felt I had to veto. One was a 10 day cloistered Buddhist meditation retreat offered for free an hour south. I looked at it and though ‘it’s a brainwashing cult’ since nothing is free, and everyone I spoke to had the same impression. Another was the carpentry idea.

I’m not perfect; I’ve screwed up here and there and overreacted at times, but everything I’ve done was done with good intentions. I love him too much to let him fall.

Apart from this, my brother, who is currently going through some mental health issues, is home. The only thing I’ll say about this is that he tried to physically assault L several times and my parents told us that they wanted to put him and myself up in an apartment for the remainder of his stay. We stayed in a hotel for 4 days, then he transferred to a hostel in the city. I felt it best to go home while we looked for housing. We called everyday, saw each other every other day. Everything was FINE. No red flags.

On Tuesday Oct 15, I went into the city to visit him. I was in a bit of a bad mood because the place I’d had my heart set on had fallen through. I’d already told him about it and asked him to ask the people at the hostel for ideas. He said he’d already spoken with some people and had some leads. We walked around the local neighborhood and sat in the park. I already had a list of potential places to discuss with him. At that point, L told me that he doesn’t know if he loves me anymore and that it’s over and he doesn’t wish to try and work out any issues we have. I wasn’t processing what he said at first, it didn’t make any sense. I had a panic attack and tried pleading with him but nothing worked, he refused to touch me, and walked me back to the train station and left me there. That’s the last I’ve heard from him, 4 days ago. I have not initiated contact but I got a missed call from him yesterday.

I am devastated. He completely blindsided me; I don’t who this person I spoke to was, but it wasn’t the man I fell in love with. These past few days, I’ve felt physically ill. I’m cold all the time, I can’t eat, and I can’t rationalize what the hell happened. Fortunately I’ve got my friends who are supporting me.

I don’t think he really knows what he wants and I suspect that his leaving me is tied in with this. It doesn’t make me hurt any less.

I’m going to going abroad this Monday for about a week and a half to stay with my friends, volunteer with another friend’s NGO which serves the children and villages, and clear my mind. I don’t know what to expect upon my return. I don’t know where he is or if he’s safe. He’s got til January 20th on his visa.

I’ve shut down my facebook over this. What do I do? I’m desperate.

admin

October 19, 2013 at 8:57 pm

Re-activate your Facebook. You can use it.

Are you in NC?
Minerva

October 19, 2013 at 10:14 pm

Yes I’m in NC, I haven’t spoken with him for 4 days and didn’t pick up the phone when he called yesterday morning. Do I have any chance of winning him back based on what I wrote?
admin

October 20, 2013 at 8:42 pm

Of course, but there are a lot of factors so it will depend on how you approach the situation in the future.
Minerva

October 21, 2013 at 5:57 am

What sorts of factors? How should I approach the situation?
Minerva

October 19, 2013 at 5:32 pm

I might add that he hasn’t changed his facebook relationship status or the picture of me he has as his banner, as far as I know.
Minerva

October 19, 2013 at 6:24 pm

BTW we’re both in our late twenties.

Carolina

October 19, 2013 at 12:36 am

I hope you can answer my question! My ex and I dated for 3.5 years and were best friends for a year before that. Our break up was sudden. We were always happy, always together, shared everything. Then one day we had a fight and it led to us breaking up. The fight was over something stupid and he said the more he thought about it, he realized how unhappy with himself he was (not in school, working part time, dwindling bank account, out of shape, etc.) and that he needed to break up to figure things out. The part that shocked me was that he wanted no contact. He said that this would be better for us in the long run and that he wants us to get back together, though it may not work out that way. Will your article work in this case or should I leave things be? We were NC for 30 days since the break up, and then I screwed up and texted him.

admin

October 19, 2013 at 8:21 pm

What do you mean you screwed up by texting him? Was it the way you texted him?

« Previous 1 … 121 122 123 124 125 … 149 Next »

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

8,582 thoughts on “The Complete Guide For Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back”