Popular posts
The Complete Guide For Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back
How To Make Him Miss You After A Breakup
The Ungettable Girl
The No Contact Rule (The Definitive Guide)
The Male Mind During The No Contact Rule
The Male Mind AFTER The No Contact Rule
What Your Ex Boyfriend Says Vs. What He Really Means
Here’s Exactly What He’s Thinking During The No Contact Rule
What To Do If Your Ex Boyfriend Blocks You
Signs My Ex Wants Me Back
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Post categories
Andi
October 17, 2013 at 9:29 pm
So my ex boyfriend and I broke up way over a year ago, however I guess you could say we were friends with benefits ever since (not by my choice). I am the longest reationship he has ever had and we have had many ups and downs. I would like to get back together with him now but I am afraid it is too late because he only uses me for sex now and then wants absolutely nothing to do with me after. Is there a way to fix this? Or am I screwed at this point.
admin
October 18, 2013 at 6:13 pm
Nope its not to late as long as you play your cards right.
Are you doing NC at all?
Andi
October 18, 2013 at 10:02 pm
Sorry for the late response! I’m using my friends email and computer bc she showed me this site haha. I started nc today.
admin
October 19, 2013 at 8:04 pm
Hey no problem! I hope your friend didn’t mind.
How is NC going?
Andi
October 22, 2013 at 1:06 am
because he txted me and said ” i might be talking to someone now, it isnt official yet but it might be soon”
admin
October 22, 2013 at 10:09 pm
Wow that hurts.
Just be as classy as possible about the situation.
Andi
October 21, 2013 at 12:19 am
he also may be getting a girlfriend soon.
admin
October 22, 2013 at 1:03 am
How do you know this? Just curious.
Andi
October 20, 2013 at 11:47 pm
that is what i wanted to no. It is very clear that I am the last person he wnts nythng to do with- i am kinda unsure he wld evn want to use me for sex to be honest (which is shitty feeling to know he hates me that much) so should I go nc for 30 days? or longer?
admin
October 22, 2013 at 1:03 am
30 days.
Andi
October 17, 2013 at 10:59 pm
Also, i basically did everything wrong. Literally, everything. He was my first boyfriend and I didnt understand how to handle the break up, but I have grown up a lot since then. should i do 30 days no contact? Or longer? or shorter? I think if i didnt speak to him for about three weeks he would for sure txt me wanting to hook up.
admin
October 18, 2013 at 6:24 pm
Its ok! Now you know and won’t make the same mistakes.
Chelsi
October 16, 2013 at 9:54 pm
I am 25 years old. I am still in love with an ex. I have read your article completely but my situation is a bit different. I am wondering if I have any chances with this guy or not. I was his first and he was mine. We shared something so incredibly special. We were together a total of 8 years. We had a daughter together. She is now 7. We broke up about 5 years ago. I still think about him all the time. I think there is only 1 person for everyone personally. But since the big devistating break I have had 2 children and he has 1. He is currently married to a woman he got with right after our split. We were married and we ended up getting a divorce so he could marry her. We have not contacted each other in about 3 years. You see about a year after we broke up we decided to try and work it out between us but he was going back and forth between me and his current wife. Do you think there is still a chance? Years have went by but I still have this spot for him. I have thought about shooting him a text but I am worried his wife will get it and it will just be a bigger mess. Any advice for me?
admin
October 17, 2013 at 5:48 pm
Have you read this one by any chance?
https://www.exboyfriendrecovery.com/get-your-boyfriend-back-if-you-have-a-child-together/
Chelsi
October 21, 2013 at 8:52 pm
Yeah I read that one. I am just really stuck. I am currently in a relationship with a man that I have been with for about 3 years he is my youngest childs father. My ex has been with the other woman for about 5 years. But he has only been married to her for about 1 year. I would do anything to be with this man. I really just want to text him and ask him if he feels the same. But I am afraid that his spouse will get the message and it would be all bad after that happened. What do you think I should do? I just want to know if he feels the same. If he does I know it will be hard to deal with everything else but like I said I would do anything. Any advice?
admin
October 22, 2013 at 2:28 am
Well, I don’t want to be the cause of anything major but I don’t think you should be with someone if you aren’t personally happy.
Chelsi
October 22, 2013 at 3:19 pm
Yes I agree with you Chris. But I am not sure how to break this kind of news to my current bf. There is only 1 person in this world that I was truly happy with.
admin
October 23, 2013 at 7:58 pm
Well, sit him down and be as honest as possible. Your current bf will get angry no doubt but it is ok to be selfish here sometimes.
Anonymous
October 16, 2013 at 9:19 am
Can you ebook help even if we broke up, then got back together, had all the relationship perks, even met his friends and family but we didn’t have the label. He broke up with me nearly a month ago, he went away for a few days then came to see me when he came back, bought me birthday presents called, text and came around twice. We had a night out with friends, he flirted at the start of the night but I brushed of his advances, we both we a bit drunk that night, flirting with other people on both sides happened except mine was noticed(all harmful I swear, cause the guys I was talking to are not my type), things got a bit heated and I let rip everything I should have told him leading up to the break up and may have have even told him we shouldn’t see each other again, anyways we must have made up and I did the biggest no no and had sex with him. He was cold with me the next day even though I was being nice and kept bringing up this one guy, even commenting on how bad he looked. I haven’t spoke to him in over 2 weeks, i’m worried to much happened in 1 night and I’ve ruined things, what do you think?
admin
October 17, 2013 at 2:22 am
Yes, I think the E-Book can help you in that case. If you contact me at [email protected] I can tell you more about it (and give you a discount.)
Anonymous
October 16, 2013 at 9:20 am
Also I haven’t text or called him in over 2 weeks either.
Anonymous
October 16, 2013 at 9:30 am
Just a little bit more, we were together nearly 9 months and most of that time was good, we literally had like 2/3 minor disagreements.
Angeline
October 16, 2013 at 7:24 am
Hello Chris, I was just wondering whether your ebook is the same with Michael Fiore in textyourexback? Because some of the content are really similar. Thanks!
admin
October 17, 2013 at 2:05 am
I will admit some of the stuff is similar but 80% of it is new material just from my experience and stuff like that. If you message me at [email protected] I can tell you more about it and give you a discount.
Diana
October 16, 2013 at 3:00 am
Hi so me and my ex had been together for a year. We broke up 3 weeks ago he said he just wasn’t sure if he wanted a relationship at the moment. Since then we’ve been up and down, still communicating like old times, and there were time when he was sure he wanted to get back together and then he’d change his mind again. Today he told me he was 100% sure he doesn’t want to get back together, he said his feelings were lessening and he felt we were to incompatible to work, he also said that he might like someone else, a friend of ours. He constantly changes his mind about what he wants but i feel this time he was sure. I’m just wondering if there’s any chance for me? If i do the no contact rule will it work even though we broke up three weeks ago and still kept in contact or is too late now? I just want to know if it’s worth giving it a shot? I really want to get back together we had a great relationship even he said, although as most couple we had our occasional problems.
admin
October 17, 2013 at 1:40 am
Its only worth a shot if you think it is. If you think he is worth getting back.
Diana
October 17, 2013 at 3:54 am
I do think he is worth getting back but im just not sure if i stand a chance? He was very clear that he was pretty much over me and we weren’t going to happen. Even more he keeps trying to start friendly conversation just as if we are friends. Do you think i stand a chance? If i do the no contact rule?
admin
October 17, 2013 at 6:13 pm
I think it can only make things better for you!
Tania
October 16, 2013 at 2:13 am
I’m gone try it starting right now , me and my ex split up because his perents had not approved of me and he had to choice between me or then and he said he had to respect them and choice them ….. I went to his parents house in with a bang and told them what I really think about them and I was so mad for them being the reason for are split , my boyfriend were not over we can just take a brack and I to we can be vriende for now till his parents had forgot about all the bad thing I said to them I really love him but I will trust dis workers and his not gone get a new girl and fall in love with her
We’re just ended it yesterday I am a bit overwight but the split did left me stressed up at a point I have not ate a thing since that day and have nou craving so I gone use it to kick start my diet for I have one month to change my self for the better just hope could forgette about me being the bitch with him his parents and friends that day
admin
October 17, 2013 at 1:39 am
Check out my latest post thats an important part of NC as well.
Allen
October 16, 2013 at 1:19 am
Hi Chris!
First I would like to say that I foud your information to be very helpful! I have completed the NC and my ex and I started to talk about a week and a half ago via text. The beginning was a little bit rocky because there were a couple of times when I let my feelings get in the way of me being able to establish a new relationship with my ex (i.e I brought up bad experiences like why we broke up). So just a little back round before I continue: my ex and I were together for four years. We shared our first everything together. We were happy and we loved each other to death. I just started my first year of college and he was on his second year of college (we go to the same school). When he broke up with me, he told me that he wanted to break up with me since the spring quarter and that was two months. He told me that he didn’t know how to make me happy anymore and he said that he didn’t want to share a life with anyone anymore. The one thing that really upset me the most was that he decided to wait two months to tell me. He told me that he waited that long because he still had feelings for me and that he didn’t want our spring quarter at school to go down hill because of the break up. So fast forwarding to now, he’s said that he has moved on, he has feelings for me, he loves me but he isn’t in love with me, and he said that there is always a chance that we could be together again. He says that he has this friend who he goes on dates with every Friday. He says that he isn’t a friend with benefits or a boyfriend, just friends. At first, I was going way to deep into his personal life by asking him personal questions. I’m getting better at keeping my distance from his personal life, but, I do still slip sometimes. So now my question is this: is it too late for me to start texting him those heart to heart conversations? So far I think the only nice thing that we do for each other is telling each other good night and good morning over text (which I had started first). I’d like to make sure that I didn’t ruin my chances. And I’m also trying to stay cool about his “new friend”. I also ask him how his days at school and work are. He rarely asks the same to me.
admin
October 17, 2013 at 1:32 am
You havent ruined your chances.
Right now how are your texts looking like with him?
Allen
October 17, 2013 at 8:00 am
Hi Chris,
To answer your question, I am sending out cute/caring texts to him. Like I ask him questions about his day like how his day at school was or how work was. I also tell him “good night, sleep well.” Once in a while I would bring up positives from our former relationship. For example, just the other day my friend and I went to go get sushi. I thought of my ex and I texted him “hey I’m out with a buddy right now eating some sushi and I thought of how much you love your vegitable tempera rolls:) I hope you are having a good day”. I also think that I am talking too much. It appears that I do a lot of the conversational starters. I am not sure what that means. I’d like to just not say anything to him for an entire day and to see if he try’s to talk to me. I also need to cut down on the amount of texts that I send him. Like today, I sent him one text per hour three times. The last one was a good night text. I hope this answer helps you. Thanks!
admin
October 17, 2013 at 6:34 pm
Hmm maybe slow up a bit on your texting volume. (Unless he is responding to every one you send?)
Allen
October 17, 2013 at 11:40 pm
He does respond to my texts, but, there is about a few hour gap or maybe an hour because he’s in school or busy. I kind of expect to receive the same kind of questions and comments but I don’t know why he isn’t though. Earlier today, I asked him if he cares that I send him those caring texts regularly throughout the day (I was very polite and respectful when I asked him). He told me that he doesn’t care and that they are unexpected.
admin
October 18, 2013 at 6:37 pm
Hmmm…
Maybe you should stop texting him for a while. What are your texts like?
Sami
October 15, 2013 at 10:46 pm
So happy I stumbled across this site today, I’ve really been goofing things up. I made the mistake of calling an ex after an evening where I saw him with possibly a new prospect. My friend got me all fired up and I called, of course the response was negative. So I’ve no changed my privacy settings on Facebook so he couldn’t see my posts, turned off chat for him so I can’t see when he’s on and don’t plan on contacting him anymore for a while. Try to see if I can turn this around. I do have a question though, we do hang out at the same spot with our friends, in fact that’s where we met. How can I stay N/C when he will be around?
admin
October 16, 2013 at 2:53 am
In that case you can do a LC.
Erin
October 16, 2013 at 11:51 pm
What is an LC?
admin
October 17, 2013 at 2:11 am
The limited contact rule.
Lily
October 15, 2013 at 7:21 pm
What if after NC I will see my ex pretty often? Bc I am in NC and I am trying not to go into places he might be, but I wanted to sign myself to some courses he is now even when we were together, but I am not exactly sure how I should talk to him, how to be in control of conversation face to face?
admin
October 16, 2013 at 2:43 am
Well that works great you can work a little jealous and show him how great you are doing.
Be confident. Be the ungettable girl.
Katrina
October 15, 2013 at 3:18 pm
It’s been 10 days since i last saw or contacted my ex. 20 days to go before i start with my first contact. Im slowly starting to feel more confident about myself, i see the change in me. But i cant help but still cry every other night. All the “what if’s” are running through my head. This rollercoaster of emotion is driving me crazy!!! I’ve been in contact with his family recently, asking how he is and all. And i think that’s a bad move because he might think im stalking him. What do you think? Also, im just really scared that he has closed the doors on me that even after NC, it just doesnt bother him at all.
admin
October 16, 2013 at 2:24 am
I have a post coming up that you are going to find fascinating I just know it.
I agree. Slowly back off from his family I say.
Katrina
October 16, 2013 at 1:14 pm
Excited for that new post of yours. When do you plan to post it?
Yes, im trying to slowly stop contacting the family. But what if it’s not about my ex, can i contact them? Like i just want to know how they are, not how my ex is doing. Do you think my ex will think i’m still trying to squeeze in myself to his family?
admin
October 17, 2013 at 2:31 am
Posted now!
Katrina
October 22, 2013 at 10:09 am
Sorry which one is it? Which title?
admin
October 23, 2013 at 7:38 pm
Sorry I can’t find your previous comment. Can you tell me what I said to you?
John Thomas
October 15, 2013 at 3:54 am
I think you are right on track. Your tips are great. it sounds like you have had a great deal of experience relationships.
admin
October 16, 2013 at 1:44 am
Haha I have some experience :).
Bella
October 14, 2013 at 10:16 pm
ok, so me and my ex were dating for a year and almost 5 months, during that time we were only able to see each other around 6 or 7 times.. i was his very first serious relationship and he was mine but he lived in L.A and i lived in riverside, he wasnt only my boyfriend, he was also my best friend and i was his.. he also didn’t have a car and neither did i.. on semptember 19 we were on the phone and he started telling me that he lost his feelings for me. he actually started dorming at cal state san bernardino cuz of me, i was the main reason why he chose to go to that school so he could see me a lot, but 2 weeks later after he broke up with me, i find out that he started dating some other girl and he was only there for 2 weeks and he barely knows her.. he didn’t really know anyone there and, he is gonna get a car, and he is living really close to me.. but he is a stubborn guy and he thinks im gonna be wasting my time if i try to win him back.. i do admit i did try to see him the next 2 fridays after we broke up but after i found out about the new girl, i guess i did overreact and i just called him to find out if it was true, he said it was, i tried to be the bigger person and i told him if he wanted to continue being my friend and he said yeah but that we wouldn’t be able to text much because it wouldnt be right.. i tried asking why it wouldnt be right and he didnt reply anymore, so i decided to wait for him to text me first, i already have 2 weeks without talking to him.. another thing is that the night before he announced his relationship to Facebook, my mom found out that he broke up with me and she made me delete him.. but when i called him to find out about the girl, i told him that if he wanted to continue being my friend to add me back on Facebook but he hasn’t.. its already been 2 weeks and today he unfollowed me on instagram 🙁 but all thats happening right now doesnt feel right at all.. when we were dating we were happy and laughing most of the time, we had everything pretty much planned out, at what age we would get married, who the god parents would be for our children, at what age we would have our children, where we would live, etc etc.. and he had told his best friend that the reason his feelings died was the not being able to see each other much.. he always thought of me as funny and really caring.. overall, I’m gonna try the 30 day no contact thing, hopefully you can reply to me..
thanks
admin
October 16, 2013 at 1:18 am
Hi There,
I am glad you are going to try to do the 30 day NC I think that is the smartest way to go.
leanne
October 14, 2013 at 9:25 pm
hi. loved this site, thank you, big help…..some advice please. me and my ex split 5 weeks ago after 5 years history but a 3 year relationship, we was best friends and had great times together, i recently had a bad time this year and didn’t handle it very well, i will admit i did take alot out on him only because at times i knew he was lying to me, i became parroniod and insecure. time went on he ended it. hes now told me hes starting to text someone else, it killed me, played alot of mind games with me, thinking i had hope but he still refused to get back. he question’s if iv found someone new but i haven’t iv told him this as well, i did few years back when we first split as he was cruel so i left, he forever throws that up, and says hes doing this now as i did it to him, really hurts (karma aye) he suggested to still sleep with me which i refused and still texts me, iv asked shall i go for good he says yes then now its he doesn’t no……i don’t no what to do, all i no its killing me and now hurting, what do i do? go? if i did i no he’ll hate me for moving on like last time, but its okay for him to do it?? i just don’t no what to do….please help and reply. thank you xx
admin
October 15, 2013 at 2:35 am
Total double standard huh? I hate it when I hear stuff like that.
Well, have you tried NC yet?
leanne
October 14, 2013 at 9:33 pm
p.s havent started the nc yet as im worried about him thinking im ignoring him and may get pushed to this other girl. but does he sound interested, he said before i was enough for him more than enough? so why doesnt he wanna be here with me ? x
admin
October 15, 2013 at 2:35 am
Oh you haven’t started it yet. Well, I actually highly recommend that but maybe you can do LC if you are having reservations.
leanne
October 15, 2013 at 10:19 pm
LC? What’s that ? Iv done the NC from today well this afternoon. He hasn’t texted me, hoping he would but I think he’s so use to me giving in first? I don’t no? More worried because of her who he’s texting, but if he was so sure about her he would of ignored me for weeks instead of replying and playing mind games. What do u think? Thanks 🙂 x
admin
October 16, 2013 at 2:52 am
Limited Contact.
Daria
October 14, 2013 at 7:36 am
Hi Chris!
My boyfriend(ex) and I dated for 8 months. We were each others first love, first kiss, pretty much first everything. About a month ago, he broke up with me, at first saying the traditional, “It’s not you, it’s me.” But later giving me a more believable reason of, “I just lost feelings for you.” and, “I was in love with the idea of being in love, but I wasn’t in love with you.” I asked, “Can we at least be friends?” his response was, “We can be friends, yes, but we will never be anything more than friends ever again.” The break up was completely random and I have spent quite a lot of time trying to think of any warning signs. None. After the break up, I didn’t take it too well. One of our mutual friends talked to him, and asked how he was handling the breakup. He told her that he is, “Fine” and that, “The first day was hard, but I’m fine now.” I don’t know if he’s telling the truth or hiding something. I have been able to talk to him a little bit, and I’ve found out that he has thrown away all of the items I ever bought him (Including love letters). At one point, he even said that he had moved on. I have sent him quite a bit of texts since the break up and most of the time, there has been no reply. Right now, I’m almost in week 2 of NC, but I’m losing hope because he said he has moved on and he said we can never be more than friends again. Any thoughts?
admin
October 15, 2013 at 1:59 am
Stick with NC. What are you doing to become an Ungettable Girl?
Lily
October 13, 2013 at 4:38 pm
I am seriously thinking about buying your ebook, but I have one question – What does it have that other books do not (about this topic)? I mean I have bought sth before but it seems like a scam. And I don’t ask for impossible, for you to tell me that it will work, I am realistic about that… but I like to spend my money wisely 😉 So what is it? ;P
admin
October 13, 2013 at 10:45 pm
Lily! I will tell you what. If you email me at [email protected] I will tell you more in-depth about the E-Book and even give you a big discount.
Myra
October 13, 2013 at 8:25 am
Hi Chris!
My boyfriend [ ex, i mean 🙁 ] dated for 3 years. Our relationship was almost impeccable for the first one and a half years. We were really very serious about one another and thought of spending our lives together!
After 1.5 years into a really amazing realationship, I moved to a different city for my studies. Yet both of us were very persevering and kept it going. I’d see him once in 4 months and we really wanted to make it work. However, since the last 8-9 months it was sort of getting bad. I started picking fights for tiny and trivial things. And became a little mean, I guess. All the times we fought, I’d tell him ‘let’s break up, i think it’s over’ and all that jazz. Yet, he would cry and pine to get back. Honestly, though i was spiteful about wanting to break up, I always thought of it to be a reminder of how much the relationship meant to both of us and we needed to keep it going cos we loved each other.
Meanwhile, he got really worked up with his college work and I felt he didnt have time for me and we stopped talking for a while. A fortnight later, I sent him a very long emotional messsage saying that we were stuck, but I really wanted to get back with him. He said he was emotional too and later on the phone ccall said, ‘he’d like to be friends with me and talk to me but didnt have it in him to get back or have a relationship with me’. I was pissed and didnt talk to him.
15 days later, which was supposed to be our 3rd year anniversay, he sent a text saying he looked at all our memories and it was the best thing that happend to him in the last 3 years. I felt it was like a final goodbye message and that tore me up like crazy. I cried and sent him a lot of emotional long messages asking him to get back and all he said was hat he was sorry and didnt have it in him to get back. I was completely shattered.
I asked him to call me up 4 days later and we spoke very casually and it was a little awkwar. In the end he told me he had not changed his decision and also that 10 days after we broke up, he got really drunk in a party and kissed a girl that was clinging onto him. Yet, he fely guilty and pulled back. I broke down and asked if we could work things out when we met. He said he disnt know and even if he got back, it would be for my happiness and he would not be fully happy on the inside. I just hung up on him.
I dont know how i feel about that kiss- whether Im sad, or hurt or pissed!
He told a mutual friend that he felt liberated and there was no looking back into geting back with me.
He texts me once in a while. I dont knnow if its because he misses me or because he just wants to know im doing okay. And the conversation is really formal.
All I know is that I want him back. I will be going back home in November and dont really know how to confront him- whether i should meet him or not?!
PLEASE HELP!!!!
Thabkyou so much.
admin
October 13, 2013 at 10:34 pm
He probably texts you once in a while to check up on you. I think that is a good thing because you are on his mind.
NC would work well for you here I think.
Myra
October 14, 2013 at 12:58 pm
I’m really sorry to be pestering, but how sure can I be of the NC rule?
Are there any chances of it working in the negative? What if it repulses him?
And what if I just text him one month later from now, which is exactly the time I’ll be going home, and he thinks Im just contacting him because I need someone to hang out with when I go back and feels used? Urghhh. Im so puzzled and sad. 🙁
admin
October 15, 2013 at 2:07 am
Why would he be repulsed at you not contacting him?
Myra
October 15, 2013 at 2:35 pm
1) So you’re saying I should just ignore when he texts me and follow the NC rule STRICTLY and when I go back in exactly a month just behave like normal friends and meet him? Cos he says he’ll definitely meet me.
2) Also, throughout all your pages you’ve mentioned how after the NC period, one needs to drop in a ‘Remeber that time when…’ message. And you’ve no made any mention as far as I have read your pages, how one needs to respond if the ex asks why they didnt speak to them for a month. Even so, in cases where the ex has made an effort to speak to the girl and she has followed the NC rule.
Btw, you’re amazing. You’ve been a saviour to many of us, sad-hurting souls! 🙂
admin
October 16, 2013 at 2:19 am
Think you can follow me around all day and just tell me I am awesome whenever I need an ego boost? 😉
1. Yes and no. You have to kind of lead up to hanging out. You can do that following the plan in the E-Book and on this page.
2. You can say “I just needed some time alone to sort things out.”
Myra
October 13, 2013 at 5:15 pm
Also, he keeps texting me every alternate day. I thought I’d strictly follow your NC rule from today. But he texted, I gave in and replied. I feel if I use the NC rule when he texts me first,and if I ignore him, it’ll only drive him away further.
admin
October 13, 2013 at 10:51 pm
Well, you will be at a disadvantage if you don’t use the NC rule b/c he will know he has the power to get ahold of you any time he wants.
Brittany
October 12, 2013 at 9:42 pm
My boyfriend and I split 2 weeks ago, after 5 years of being together, and I started NC that day. I started researching as soon as I got off the phone with him because I was so shocked at the break up and when I saw a lot of sites saying NC I started right then. About 2 weeks prior to the break up he had asked me what I would say if he asked me to marry him right then…I said “yes” and he had the biggest smile on his face and gave me a huge hug. So how am I here now? He said we needed to talk and said that he wasn’t happy and then he broke up with me. He has proven in the past that when he gets overwhelmed or too stressed he tends to push me away to deal with it on his own. The same night he said he wanted to marry me was the same night he vented about his stress and ended up crying on my shoulder. I thought this would have made us stronger… When I got the dreaded phone call he said “I will always love you” but once again…here I am. I have taken the past 14 days to really focus on myself, my emotions, what I might have done to make him unhappy, and worked hard to change. I realize our past relationship is dead and I should be fighting for a new and better relationship with him. I can only hope he misses me. He has not tried to contact me since the break up which is tearing my heart out because every day all I want to do is talk with him. I need to drop off some mail to him and collect phone bill money from him but I am trying to wait as long as possible. I envision me dropping off the mail, having a great conversation, and walking off into the sunset hand in hand. Obviously that is not realistic. I love this man and want to be with him for the rest of my life. I just wish I knew what he was thinking 🙁
Myra
October 14, 2013 at 1:04 pm
Hey! Im really sorry to hear about this!
I can feel what you’re going through. Please try and stay strong and I hope and pray that things get better for you 🙂
admin
October 13, 2013 at 10:20 pm
First off, definitely drop of the bill and the other stuff to him.
How long specificlaly have you lasted in NC?
Mississippi!
October 12, 2013 at 8:36 am
Hi Chris,
My boyfriend of 4 years dumped me for no specific reason other than “I need some space” he also mentioned at one stage may be he want a different relationship but in the end when he was breaking up he said he doesn’t feel like being in a relationship at the moment. We ended it on good terms even though I was dying inside. I put a brave face and said i respect his choice. Anyhow I started implementing NC after 2 weeks of breaking up, he texted me once earlier during the week but I ignored it. My bday is coming up in 2 days and I know he is going to text me happy bday but I won’t reply cuz the 30days NC won’t be finished by then. Would it be rude though if I don’t text thanks if he wishes me happy bday? Say if he suggests meeting up before the NC period is up, do I say no to that?
admin
October 13, 2013 at 8:31 pm
Yes, because you want to do things on YOUR terms and not his. Maybe ask him to reschedule in a week or so. You want to establish control.
Mira
October 11, 2013 at 10:28 pm
Hi Chris!
First of all, thank you so much for this fantastic advice!
Ok so my story is that I was in a relationship with “him” for 2.5 years. And I loved him and still do so very much. We had some communication issues, argued a lot, and basically I am very emotional/sensitive and he is not. He thinks that walking away from a problem is the best way to resolve it, while I think the opposite. I ALWAYS tried to talk to him ( and over-did so) when we were having issues. We lived together for a year, and since neither of us was used to this, we did not know how to work together to keep our home in order. Both of our families got involved in our issues, and his parents stopped liking me and started telling him he needs to break up with me. While he did not follow this advice for months, it ended because he wanted to go out with a friend I despise (because he was very hateful towards me throughout our relationship) and I tried to talk him out of it. He responded by telling me how our relationship was not going so well and that he wanted to do things for himself now, and that he just couldnt “try” anymore. Though I broke the NC rule for the first week…I told him how much I missed him, told him I was crying, and we even ended up meeting… he did tell me he still loves me, misses me and that he still thinks about us having a family together, and that he cannot think about being with another girl. He told me that he has had both the best and the worst times with me he has ever had in a relationship. He also told me that he thinks it is ALMOST impossible for us to have a future together (he emphasized almost) but that he still hopes that we will one day. He also said that if we do each meet someone we are interested in, we should not base our decision of going out with that person based on the fact that we want this relationship to work. In other words, yes he hopes, but he is not waiting for me, nor does he think I should. He mentioned that he still wants us to talk and potentially be friends. Keep in mind, I do not think we could ever be “just friends.” He said he felt good while he was with me the last time I saw him. He said that if one of us gets the “urge” to contact the other one then they should. Then I texted him the last day ever talking to him. And I said that I wish he could have just decided to take a break rather than break things off completely. To this he answered that he did this so we would not suffer more in our future, and that he “had enough.” I told him that I do not know how I will ever be able to be friends with him knowing that he broke my heart, and that I wish it would be easier for me to forget our wonderful memories together. I got no response. It has now been 8 whole days of No contact. I almost contacted him today, because it did get very difficult. But then I read this article and decided I will hang in there for the good of our relationship. And I intend on following your advice in 30-45 days… I will start with the “First Contact” text… Good plan, yes? The thing is, he is the type of person to view in a negative light the fact that I did not respond to him (if he does contact me)… as in, he would hold this against me later, and not respond if I text him. But i should continue with the plan? Also, I am wondering approximately how long to wait between each text? I know you mention a few days, so I am assuming 3 or more. As for the “Tactic” texts, if you cannot use all of them, just use the most possible, correct?
Thank you so much!! You have no idea how much this helps!
admin
October 13, 2013 at 8:17 pm
Your welcome for the advice and I apologize for the late response.
You usually want to wait a couple of days (or weeks depending on the responses you get.)
PRO does a fantastic job describing this.
Isabel
October 11, 2013 at 9:51 pm
It’s me again. Since my ex is 19 and I’m 18 I was just wondering if there is anything specific I should think about when trying to get him back, at this young age?
Oh and by the way, I’m half Persian 😉
admin
October 13, 2013 at 8:14 pm
Yes really really really I can’t emphasize how important NC is.